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“I heard from Alex today, “ Bernie murmurs into Serena’s hair as her fingers twiddles with the ring her wife is wearing on the chain around her neck. The warm light of the bedside lamp catches the burnished sheen of the metal and Bernie stares at it absentmindedly.
Serena grunts as she shifts her head to look up. “You have a strange idea about what’s appropriate pillow talk after sex, darling.”
Bernie’s chest rumbles with a chuckle. “I thought we were supposed to be able to talk about anything.” She sighs and traces her ring finger along Serena’s sternum, their two bands gliding over each other as they meet.
“I’m pretty sure not talking about the only other woman who’s seen you naked in bed was implicit in the vows.” Serena mutters.
“Damn, I’d forgotten that,” Bernie couldn’t help teasing.
They lie in silence for a moment longer before Serena speaks. “How is she?”
“Hmm?”
“Alex. You said you heard from her.” Serena doesn’t move and Bernie only senses the subtle stiffening of her posture because she knows her so well.
Bernie pauses momentarily and this time Serena shifts onto her side to face her. “Bernie?”
Bernie pulls her eyes away from the swirly pattern on the ceiling to meet Serena’s gaze. “She’s back in Holby between assignments. Asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee.”
“Oh.” The room is dim but Bernie catches Serena’s eyes clouding over before she turns onto her back again.
Bernie closes the distance between them instantly and drapes an arm across Serena’s body. “Look at me.”
She feels Serena’s chest heave a deep breath before their eyes meet again.
“I love you.” Bernie whispers the simple declaration and sees Serena’s face soften immediately.
“I know, darling.” She reaches for Bernie’s hand and threads their fingers together. “So, when are you meeting her?”
“I’m not.” Bernie’s answer is simple and sure. “We are, if you’re okay with that.”
Serena lifts her head off the pillow and quirks an eyebrow. “We?”
Bernie nods and leans in to place a kiss on Serena’s lips. Their lips linger and the kiss deepens, then multiplies. Bernie has learnt by now that she can rarely stop with just one kiss when it comes to Serena Campbell.
“Is this another one of your kinky fantasies?” Serena mumbles when they finally break apart.
Bernie smiles. “No. I told her about us and she wants to meet the legendary woman who has managed to tame the Wolfe.”
Serena’s lips twitches upwards in response. The green-eyed monster is retreating but Bernie is determined to banish it completely and what better way than getting all of the questions out in the open once and for all?
“You’ve never asked me about what happened with Alex. Why is that?”
A dozen answers flash through Serena’s mind and she wants to pick an easy one - it was none of her business, it was water under the bridge, Bernie would tell her when she was ready - but she knows that this is an opportunity to come clean.
“Because I already know.”
Bernie blinks in surprise. “But I’ve never told you the whole story.”
“You don’t have to because I already know, Bernie,” she repeats. She gets the response she expects when Bernie frowns in confusion. “I was passing through the corridor and overhead the both of you talking.” Serena watches Bernie closely before she continues, “the night she left.”
Bernie’s eyes widen in surprise before her cheeks pink with embarrassment as she replays her words, her pleas and her desperation in her mind. She feels a stab of shame when she remembers how she practically clung on to Alex even as she pulled her hand away.
“Serena…” Bernie starts to speak but stops when Serena places a finger against her lips.
“Darling, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I know how difficult it must have been to…” Her voice trails off as she takes a breath and pushes away the stinging memory of her own experience before continuing, “...well, it couldn’t have been easy to watch her walk away and to be told it wasn’t enough to know what you didn’t want.”
A million apologies flood through Bernie’s head but her mouth is unable to form the right words. She tries not to imagine how difficult it must have been for Serena to admit what she just did and the words finally tumble out in a messy jumble. “Oh Serena, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have… oh god...” Bernie is rambling, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.
Serena hushes and soothes her with a kiss on the tip of her nose and then on the lips.
“You’re forgiven.” She lifts Bernie’s left hand, thumbs the ring and feels it twirl round Bernie’s finger. “I think it's safe to say that you've redeemed yourself. Till death and all that, remember?”
They snuggle a little closer and Bernie knows Serena is hesisting over her next question from the way her breathing changes. “Serena?”
“Did you ever...after the divorce?” Serena finally asks her question. After all, in for a penny, in for a pound.
Bernie shook her head. “She was right. I was running away from the life with Marcus and once that was all gone, I realised I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her. In a way, my heart knew it was waiting for the right person to turn up.”
Serena’s heart swells with emotion. She is the romantic one in their relationship but Bernie is getting better. Her eyes sparkle as chooses her words deliberately. “The right person is it? Are there any more ex-girlfriends I should know about?”
Bernie screws her mouth and pretends to think of an answer before answering. “Well, now that you’ve mentioned it, I might have met a woman in Stepney once...”
They burst into laughter simultaneously and the atmosphere weighing down the air in the room lifts. Serena tucks her head under Bernie’s chin and listens to the steady thump in her chest. “My heart,” she murmurs.
Above her, Bernie answers immediately. “My soul.”