Chapter Text
This was stupid, this was so, so, so stupid.
Javier was in the drivers seat of Royce’s convertible, Demming and Beckett in the backseat. It was going on a month since school started, and now he was sitting in Lanie’s driveway, waiting for Royce to get the balls to start throwing rocks at her window. Javier knew it wouldn’t work, and had said as much, but was being studiously ignored.
“Come on, man, I don’t want to sit here all night,” Demming said, pushing Royce’s shoulder. Royce slid his seat all the way back to smash into Demming’s legs as he got out of the car. Demming cursed under his breath and Beckett laughed.
“You asked for that,” she said, reaching over to ruffle his hair. Royce was now in the front yard, looking for little rocks.
Javier sighed. This year was not going at all the way he expected it to. It had started with the summer, and - and Kevin. And then Kevin was here, but he wasn’t really, because they hadn’t talked since that first week. Javier had run into him about 8 times in the halls at school and had been completely ignored. Not that Javier would know what to say, even if Kevin had wanted to talk to him. He was embarrassed, and pissed off, and really confused. When did his life become this?
Royce finally (finally) found a rock and tossed it up at the window. Javier watched, not really that interested, but then immediately ducked his head when Lanie, Alexis and FUCKING KEVIN leaned their heads out the window.
“What the hell do you think you are doing, boy?” Lanie called down, her bitch face on. Javier had very personal experience with that face, and he knew that Royce was in for it now.
“I just wanted to see you, baby - and look, the rest of the girls are here too,” Royce said, smiling obliviously.
“I see you brought the bottom feeders. And Kate.”
Beckett waved at Lanie, smiling, and Javier hunched further down in his seat.
“Oh, don’t even try that, Javier Esposito, I know you’re there.”
Javier finally looked up, and was caught in Kevin’s stare. It wasn’t as harsh as the looks he had gotten in the hallways at school, but it wasn’t exactly friendly, either.
“What are you guys think you’re doing, seriously?” Lanie asked, and Kevin crossed his arms. Alexis had gone back into the room, and Javier could hear her talking to who he assumed was Gina. The three of them were always together, and now that apparently included Kevin. Shit. He knew that this was a bad idea.
“Baby, I just wanted to see you,” Royce said again, and Javier could see Lanie’s eye roll from behind the windshield.
“You call me baby one more time, and I will stick this perfectly manicured nail into your eye, baby,” Lanie said, and Kevin’s mouth flicked up in a half smile. He had somehow forgotten what that smile looked like, and how goddamn beautiful it was. Kevin hadn’t smiled at him since the bonfire, and boy was that a night Javier did not want to remember. Even now, he wasn’t smiling at Javier, and it was still like a punch in the gut. He tried to look away, he really did, but Kevin’s eyes had captured him again like they had every day since the first day on the beach. Blue. Kevin stared back, eyebrows raised and a scowl twisting his lips again.
“What, Esposito?” He asked softly, and Javier sucked in a breath. Kevin hadn’t EVER called him Esposito, and it was a harsh reminder of how far they had fallen.
“Nothing,” Javier said, looking back down at the steering wheel. He could feel Beckett digging her knees into the back of his seat, and she sighed heavily behind him.
They had sort of talked about it, after that night at the bonfire. She had let him stew for three days, and then cornered him, demanding to know what the hell he was doing.
“What the hell, Espo?” She asked him, crossing her arms and standing in front of him. She had showed up at his house after school, and his mom (the traitor) had let her in. Beckett had marched into his room spun his chair around to face in her direction, leaving him no escape.
“What?” He asked, knowing that playing dumb would only buy him a few minutes, at most.
“Don’t. Please don’t. I am not messing around here.”
“Fine. I don’t know. I don’t know what to tell you.”
“You - you asshat. What the hell. That was him, wasn’t it? At the bonfire?”
Javier stayed silent, and refused to make eye contact.
“Of course it was. Why did you brush him off like that? After literally, just seconds before, telling me about him?” Beckett waved a hand down below his face, forcing his gaze up towards her eyes. Geez, he thought. She was not messing around this time.
“I - I wasn’t - I wasn’t expecting him to be there. I - “
“You’re an idiot.”
“I’m not denying that,” Javier said under his breath. Beckett blew her hair out of her face.
“Are you gonna talk to him?” She asked, cocking her head.
“He won’t want to talk to me.”
“Well that’s your own goddamn fault.”
Javier stayed silent.
“Are you going to TALK to him, Javi?”
Javier looked back at her, and her eyes were softer now. She was just wanting to help, but she didn’t really understand. Javier didn’t really understand, if he was being honest. And now she was looking at him with her stupid hopeful face and she KNEW that Javier had a soft spot for that and -
“FINE. If I ever get a chance again, I will talk to him. But, I’m telling you, Kate, he’s - he - I really fucked things up.”
“I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”
Now, seeing him again, Javier still wasn’t sure. Even if it was just the way Javier had reacted, he had had time enough time to think about it (obsess over every second of that night) and then was painfully reminded of the personal secrets Kevin had shared with him. Kevin had trusted him fully, and Javier had basically done the exact same thing that Bobby had done to him. Fucking Bobby. It just made everything worse.
Beckett cleared her throat in the backseat, and Javier knew that she was threatening to become less subtle. He would have to say SOMETHING.
“How are you?” Javier asked, looking back up at the window, his voice breaking in the middle. He coughed, and met Kevin’s eyes.
He looked surprised, but only for a moment, and then the blank scowl was back.
“Fine. How are you?”
“I’m - okay,” Javier said, wanting to say so much more but not while fucking Demming was in the backseat.
“Did you - how is - how do you like school?” Javier winced, realizing how idiotic he must sound. Royce was still annoying Lanie, who stood next to Kevin in the large window frame, but their conversation was soft enough that Kevin could still hear him. Kevin leaned against the frame, arms still crossed.
“It’s not so different.”
Javier didn’t know how to continue. Kevin stared at him, obviously expecting more, but he had nothing. Beckett poked him through the seat again, and he shifted, trying to ignore her. She poked him harder, and he shot her a glance. That was a mistake, because she was glaring daggers at him. He looked back up at Kevin, who was still looking down at him expectantly. When Javier didn’t say anything else, something fell from Kevin’s face and he took a step back into the room.
“Well. See you at school,” he said, and before Javier could respond, he went back into Lanie’s room, disappearing from view.
Beckett practically growled at him.
“What the fuck?” Demming asked, startled enough to look up at Beckett from his phone, and Kate climbed into the front seat to confront Javier.
“Are you serious?” She asked, and he didn’t look at her, instead staring at the wheel. She punched his arm, and he still didn’t react.
“Jesus, Javi,” she said, and sat back. He didn’t know what to say to her. He was a fucking coward.
“Do I spy a Ms. Katherine Beckett over there, or has the sun come up a few hours early?”
A voice from behind them had all three of them in the car spinning around to find the quarterback of the football team, Richard Castle, standing in the middle of the street. Javier had forgotten he lived around here, and behind him, he could see a couple more guys on the football team hanging their heads out the window of his house.
“Is that Richard Castle, or has Halloween come early this year?” Lanie called from the house, and Javier had to smile at that.
“Lanie, didn’t see you there. Lovely, as always. Esposito. Demming. Royce. What’re you guys up to?”
“None of your business,” Kate said, raising an eyebrow.
“You wound me, Katherine, you do,” he said, and Javier could tell she was trying not to smile. What was up with that?
Castle was now sidling up to the side of the car, leaning down to Beckett’s eye level.
“Could I interest you in a late night stroll, m’lady Katherine?” He asked, holding a hand out.
“Don’t call me Katherine.”
“Fine, could I interest you in a late night stroll, Kate?”
“Better,” she said, but still didn’t take the hand. She turned to look at Esposito, and he frowned.
“Are you gonna?” She asked, and he dropped his eyes, knowing what she meant.
“That’s what I thought,” she said, sounding disappointed and more pissed off at him than she’d been in a long time.
“Where are we going, cowboy?” Beckett said, ignoring Castle’s offered hand and hopping out of the car on her own.
“Wait, really?” Castle asked, frozen in shock.
“Would you rather me decline?”
“NO! No, hell no, yes, let’s go, there’s a diner around the corner, do you like pie? Pfft, of course you like pie, everyone loves pie. Not that I would assume that about you, but - you like pie, right?”
“Shut up, Castle.”
“Shutting up.”
Javier watched, angry at himself and more than a little confused at Beckett’s actions. She HATED Castle. Hated. Was she really that mad?
“I don’t know what you did, bro, but she is PISSED at you. She hates that guy,” Demming said. “Man, what did you do? I was gonna ask her to go on a stroll with ME.”
“Shut the hell up, no you weren’t, you were gonna ask her to come to your place like you always do and she was gonna smack you like she always does.”
“So? Maybe she woulda said yes if you hadn’t pissed her off,” Demming huffed.
“Shut up, Demming. Royce!” Javier called over. “Let’s go!”
“But I was - “
“I don’t give a shit, get in the car.”
“Whoa, bro, chillax.”
“Shut up,” Javier said again, just to have something to say. Shut up, shut up, shut up, he repeated to himself, trying to drown out the, COWARD, FUCK-UP, COWARD, that was pounding through his head.
Shut up.