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"Do you hear that?" Tony shook his head and patted at his ears as he stepped out of the latest Iron Man and headed for his penthouse living room. "A ringing tone? Am I going deaf? High blood pressure? A sign of stroke?"
Friday sighed. "No, Boss, I am transmitting the sound from your 'Toy Box' drawer."
"Oh. Yeah. I was going to use Captain Wakanda's phone for vibrator parts." Tony shrugged. "Since he went to the mental effort of remembering the number, might as well answer it. Put him on, Fri." Tony sat down on the nearest couch and pulled up his latest plans on holo. Global defense was a bitch, but it was Tony's bitch.
"Tony?"
"Yep! That's me, Rogers. How's life treating you in sunny Wakanda?"
The was silence for a moment. Then Rogers said, "We need to move past our differences."
"Sure! I'm ahead of you, there." It's amazing what resources could be found in landfills. Chitauri tissue did not react at ALL well to toxic waste bullets. "I'm so far past them, I can't see them in the rear view mirror."
"That... that's good. I was wondering. Now that we know an alien armada is gathering..."
"Hmm?" Tony replied. He wasn't even remotely tempted to pick up the 'I told you so' bait. "Yes, go on, I'm all ears." And there were distinct possibilities with jamming signals fucking up their 'hive' mentality as when the portal in NYC closed.
"The Avengers have agreed to sign the revised Accords, but we're told the Avengers Compound is no longer available."
"Yeah, no. Couldn't leave a great big building like that vacant. Attracts squatters. And you know, Adverse Possession. Let people use my property long enough, they could have a legal claim on it, without having done a damn thing to earn it."
"I... I didn't know that."
"Yeah, well, business, laws, fine print, all that boring stuff. So, anyway, good talk."
"Wait! Tony, I need my shield!"
"What?"
"It's no use to you, and T'Challa said they haven't been able to replicate it! He gave me a vibranium shield, and it's not the same."
"Well, sure, you get used to things. Takes a little while to readjust, but after that, I'm sure you'll find T'Challa's shield is much better than the one Dad made for you. It actually didn't have that much vibranium in it, you know? T'Chaka wasn't on Christmas card terms with the rest of the world, so Dad just had this one tiny chunk. Said it fell off the back of a truck, but I kinda think he bought it from a crook. Eh, it was a war, people let their morals slip in war, don't they? It's justified, because..."
"Please, Tony, don't play this game. The pure vibranium is strong, but I can't use it as an offensive weapon. It won't come back to me."
Tony took a deep breath and held it. He contemplated soothing thoughts. V-8 engines. Cockpit of an old fighter jet Dad once sneaked him on. The first time Dum-E made a smoothie with non-toxic ingredients. "Neither will the one my father made. I don't have it to give you."
"What? What did you do with it?"
"I studied it." Tony flicked to a view of the molecular structure of Howardium. Steel. Rare earth metals. Soupçon of titanium. And just a dash of vibranium. All of which Tony now had. It's amazing what the World Security Council can get for you when they think you're the only one who can save their asses. "And then I looked up the provenance. I felt bad, you know, because I'd suspected Dad hadn't got it legally? Keeping secrets from a team mate made me feel bad. Well, ok, T'Challa was only a team mate for a hot minute, but the principle applies. So I tried to call him to ask what he wanted me to do with it."
"T'Challa never told me you called."
"Probably because he didn't accept it. A secretary or something told me that the king was too busy to talk with me. Didn't sound too friendly. When I insisted I needed to talk to someone in Wakanda about something really important, he said the only tribal leader willing to talk with the likes of me... I don't know what he meant by that. I guess my reputation precedes me. So, I got to talk to this guy, M'Baku, and asked what he thought I should do with the shield."
"M'Baku?" Rogers sounded confused.
"He leads another tribe. They're Wakandan Luddites, I suppose. He said the technology that created it was evil, and I should put it where it couldn't corrupt any people."
Rogers made a choked noise.
"That sounded reasonable to me, you know. Maybe exposure to it over a long period of time could do something to a person. Change them. So I dumped it on an island."
"What island?"
"Little place, about the size of Manhattan. It's off the coast of India. No one can go there, and the locals haven't any technology. I don't think they've even got the hang of fire."
"Where, Tony!"
"Seriously, no, Rogers. You can't go there. It's illegal to go within three miles of the island. The people have been isolated for thousands of years. They don't have any immunity to common diseases."
"I don't get sick," Rogers replied.
"They are also incredibly hostile. They have killed shipwrecked fishermen. Do not go to North Sentinel Island!"
"North Sentinel Island, huh."
"Rogers. Steve. Really, do not go there. The shield isn't worth it. You'll have to kill them to get it."
"Where is it on the island, Tony?"
"There's a clearing in the center of the island. I dropped the shield, from three miles up."
"Yeah, always toeing the line with the law, aren't you, Tony."
Tony sighed. "Please do not do this, Rogers. These people deserve to be left alone."
"Then you shouldn't have given them my shield. I need it to protect a lot more people than one island's population." There was a click.
Tony sat back and blinked. "Friday, did Rogers just hang up on me?"
"I'm afraid so, Boss."
"That's a pity. I was going to tell him that as payment for keeping the shield, I'd also dropped a few hundred pounds of Howardium spearheads and arrow points. After all, they need to defend themselves. It's not as if they have heroes to protect them."
"That's very true, Boss!" Friday said cheerily.
Tony searched his newly repaired heart for any qualms, and was pleased to find none. He pulled up a holo of the last photo he had of his parents. "Hey, Dad, when you see Rogers, give him a punch from me, ok?"