Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ben… Ben…“ he seemed to hear the whisper all the time now when he was alone in his room, when he walked down the long corridors of the Supremacy, when he flew his fighter. “Ben…“ spoken alternatively in Her voice, in Han’s, in his Mother’s – and most often in Skywalker’s.

He had killed Han and thought he might have killed Luke too – but then he was not certain. There was no body left behind on Crait, Skywalker had never really been there, not in the body anyway – and the shift in the Force he had believed to have felt – it might have been anything – Snoke dying and the Scavenger preserving – firmer than ever positioned in the Light now.

No, there was no guarantee at all that Luke was dead – and if Kylo Ren wanted to get rid of him for once and for all – he needed to find that damn island his traitorous Uncle had decided to call his home – the place he had seen in the Girl’s thoughts, in her memories. But then he was still lacking the name – and the place itself.

It was hard to believe how much could happen in a single day, Kylo Ren mused when he, exhausted beyond belief, dropped down on his cot on the board of the Supremacy. Lying flat on his back and blankly starring at the cabin’s ceiling, the happening of the previous day played out in front of his eyes – Snoke, Hux, the Scavenger, Skywalker, his Mother…

He hated them, hated them all – all with the single exception of the girl, Rey. But then even the Scavenger had deserted him, had refused his hand, had rejoined his enemies – rather than accepting his offer that she would stand by his side, supporting him and ruling the Galaxy alongside with him. No, she was foolish enough as to believe the Light Side of the Force was stronger; to trust his murderous Uncle – who had almost killed him all the years ago, back when Ben Solo had only been a troubled teenager whose only sin was that he listened entirely too much to a mighty voice whispering in his head and promising him to finally be important to someone.

He had hoped the Scavenger would be the final answer to his quest for belonging – but she had abandoned him as everyone else had – Mother, Father, Uncle Luke. And now Her. He was the Supreme Leader now, damn it, he raged, his hands suddenly clenched in tight fists and the air around him cracking with the ever deepening Darkness summoned by his anger.

If she wouldn’t join him, there was only one way forward – to destroy her, and all her little friends – his Mother included. There was no place for a weakness like that in his life – no, especially not now when he was the sole heir and ruler of the Dark Side. And rule he would – while Armitage Hux would serve. He smirked in the anticipation of their next encounter. Nobody doubted the Supreme Leader. Nobody! And if anyone thought it wise to not follow his orders or even openly protest against them – well, he could not be hold responsible for their fate.

Unless the Supreme Leader doubts himself. He could swear someone spoke those words aloud in his room. But nobody was there – not a real person, neither a hologram or an apparition – such as Her – or a Force ghost he had heard about from his Uncle many years ago.

He shuddered, no, Skywalker would not stay behind. And neither would Snoke. Not if even Darth Vader had not replied to him – no matter how much he had tried to find and contact him within the undying Force.

Don’t be so sure, Ben – again the whisper. Stranger things have happened in this Galaxy, remember, young man!

No, no more listening to this nonsense – He was powerful, He was invincible, nobody told Him what to do and how to act – no, not now when He was finally free!

And are you? Are you indeed? Skywalker’s aged voice resonated all around him. Kylo did not see him – but he felt his presence. He drew out his lightsaber and ignited it – the unstable fire blade dancing all around him as he tried to follow the voice and attack the man behind it. “I will kill you,” he hissed into the empty air surrounding him.

You cannot do what has already happened, Ben. The voice was calm and strangely fond.

“I did not kill you yet! You cannot deny me the right to!” Kylo Ren thundered, his blind slashes becoming wilder and wilder, the fire blade never stopping. “I will kill you, no matter what it takes!”

No, you won’t. Nobody can do that now.

“I don’t believe you!” Kylo shouted, the walls of his sanctuary shaking with his awakened temper. “I will take my revenge! I promise you!”

I have already been punished; my pride robbed me of all I had held dear once. Death is nothing else than deliberating for me, Ben. Remember that old saying? The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Think about it. I thought I was right – and now you are repeating my mistake.

“You hypocrite!” Ren was out of his mind with rage by that point – the spare pieces of furniture in the room around him threatening to come apart with the power of his anger.

Yes, that I might be. Or was anyway… Good night, Ben. No need to destroy your room. I will be back though. At some later point. We need to talk.

“You are not welcome here! Not wanted!” Kylo Ren did not want a repeat of this. Skywalker would better listen to him!

Perhaps. But that does not mean I am not needed. And with those words the strange feeling in the Force disappeared.

Kylo was none the wiser if Skywalker had indeed been there or not. He switched off the saber and sank on his bed, hanging his head and gripping it by his hands in frustration. This was not happening, not now. Not when he finally fully embraced the Darkness… But then – did he? There was still doubt in his core – a doubt he had to erase – and better sooner than later…

Then another voice resounded in his mind – much more welcome and dearer to him. The Girl, that little Scavenger. His counterpart in the Force. The other half.

And she repeated the words from that very afternoon: “You are not alone. It isn’t too late…”

But wasn’t it? He did not know any longer.

Chapter Text

"Anakin... Anakin," he used to hear that word, the name he had carried when he was still a foolish young man following the misled teachings of his old Jedi Master. He kept hearing that sound for quite some time after he had pledged his allegiance to Sidious. The name sounded as if spoken by Padmé - but then his wife was dead and burried together with their unborn child - and there was nothing left in this Galaxy for him, aside of the endless Darkness. But he was good in installating the order in the Galaxy through the Dark - and by it the peace they both used to dream about for so long. If not for Kenobi and his tratorious lies, she might still be here, here at his side - and they both actually happy, watching their child grow and the Galaxy trieve beneath their rule. Alas, it was not meant to be.

That annoying whisper of "Anakin" had gradually become softer and more and more quiet as he kept refusing to listen to it - until he could hear it no longer. He believed it was for the better. Padmé was truly gone now - and he could not afford to dream about what-could-have-been's.

"You can't win, Darth," the old man, who had so suddenly and unexpectadly appeared on the board of the Death Star, said, their blue and red lightsabers trained at each other and each of them ready to strike again at any given moment.

"If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine," Obi-Wan pronounced calmly and eyed his one-time pupil with a firm determination.

He did not want to go yet, not when he finally got the chance to teach the boy, who was so much like Anakin before it everything had gone so wrong - but then, perhaps, it was his time indeed. And, no matter what his opponent might say, perhaps if he became one with the Force, he could actually hammer some sense into this dark creature, too. He had believed him long lost - but Padmé had sensed a flicker of light in him and had preserved hope for him - or why she would have said that there was still good in him when she lay dying. Yes, he would try and assist the rebels by distracting their biggest enemy aside of the Emperor himself - and he would await what the future might bring.

"You should not have come back," Vader hissed threateningly and their lightsabers clashed against each other again, more viciously than before. When Obi-Wan saw that the boy was back, and his sister, the Princess, and the Smuggler too - he knew it was time. They were safe - and he could go now.

He smiled, lowered his weapon - and let the Sith Lord who used to be his best friend in another lifetime cut his body in half - while simultaneously giving himself to the Force.

The rebels had fled them, but he was sure they would capture them some other time. The Princess, a nameless Force sensitive kid Kenobi decided for whatever reason to drag with him - most likely trying to train him in his foolish ways, and a pilot who looked like a common smuggler. No big loss. No, he would not worry about them - now was a time for something much better than that. He finally, finally! got rid of the old traitor Kenobi - and his destruction of the Jedi Order was complete at last. He had to take a moment to rejoice in the feeling. The Jedi who had brought him so much sorrow were gone!

Are you so sure about it, Vader? A whisper, enrirely too similar to those hallucinations he used to have during his first years as the Emperor's right hand, asked. This time, it was not Padmé's voice, but rather the much hated baryton of Kenobi's. Well, no wonder after the encounter today, Vader thought and dismissed the sound for what it was - another useless illusion.

But the voice was not done with him yet. It kept pestering him all the time he retired into his rooms, usually entirely too exhausted to block it and very much ready for a bit of ruthless sleep in the hyperbaric chamber or some short rest and regeneration in his personal tube-like Bacta basin.

And then that Force-sensitive kid he had thought untrained and powerless - and hence not dangerous - blew up the Death Star. He was lucky enough to escape - but so many of the Empire's, his good officers and soldiers were not so lucky. He declared that kid his personal enemy - and decided to hunt him down no matter the costs and ultimately enjoy killing him as much as he did when he got rid of Kenobi. The only problem was the kid's name - Skywalker. Could it be? he wondered. If yes, he did not know what he was supposed to do...

That was the point when the voice started to come and annoy him again on the daily basis.

Search your heart, Vader. Do you really want to damage the boy?

"Be quiet!" Vader shouted, trying to silence the intruder. No, he did not know how he was supposed to act. But he would be damned if he would say that aloud.

Don't you think it's high time to change your ways?

"Shut up, old man!" Vader made a fist and angrily hit the durasteel wall of his cabin.

No, I don't think I should. What do you think the boy would do once he finds out? He would not be happy to learn that you are his father. He has idolised Anakin Skywalker entirely too much for that.

"And whose fault is that, Kenobi? Yours only, old man! You knew - and decided not to tell him, didn't you?" Vader was angrily hissing now.

Oh, I did not tell him that much. His aunt and uncle made up his father was a navigator on a spice freighter. I only corrected them in telling him his father used to be a Jedi and a good friend of mine once upon a time.

"Only you could be sentimental enough to do that," the dark armoured man shook his head in disbelief. "Well, I will correct your statement once again then. As soon as the boy is in my grasp, I will speak to him and tell him the real truth."

But don't be foolish enough to think he would join you.

"That remains to be seen. Now shut up and let me finally think!" Vader requested firmly, pondering his next options.

Wonders of wonders, Kenobi (or rather his voice) did just that.

He had cut off the boy's hand. His son's hand. He could hardly believe he was capable of that - but then he had also not wanted to hurt Padmé all those years ago on Mustafar - and yet all of his protectiveness resulted in her ultimate death.

He dropped his head and stared into nothingness, wallowing in despair.

I hate to say I have told you, Anakin. The voice was back - and its owner saw it fit to call him by his former given name now. But he could not summon the anger to rage at him because of that. The Dark Side can only take, it will not give you anything back.

The statement was met by silence and deep self-hatred only.

Feeling it was safe, Obi-Wan appeared in front of his one-time pupil in his shimmering Force-ghost form. Today he knew his Padawan of long last would not try to attack him and damage his cabin with all the equipment he needed for survival - as Kenobi had feared so many times in the past.

It's not too late, Anakin. I feel the struggle in you. Turn back and be the father to the boy you both wish he had.

The bluish transparent hand rested on the bent broad shoulder and remained there for a while in silent support.

Then finally, the dark man came to a decision as it seemed - for he shook the hand off and straightened up. "No, I must obey my Master," he said resolutely, denying the conflict brewing at his very core. "That's the way of the Dark Side, Kenobi. You have never known the true nature of the Force!"

And with that Darth Vader left his rooms so that he no longer needed to interact with his unwanted visitor.

The ghost form of Obi-Wan Kenobi looked behind him sadly. Then it might be truly too late, he whispered and disappeared.

Thankfully, it wasn't too late, as they all found out some time later - but it was ultimately up to Luke to win his father over, not his old teacher. No matter how much he had tried to haunt him ever since his death.