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The small town was bathed in the dying light of the setting sun, golden streaks curling like fingers over the dusky rooftops. An autumn breeze chilled the air, and ruffled the hair of two boys standing together on a balcony.
“You know, Akira…?” Ryo lowered his eyes to look down the railing at a young couple walking their dog down the street. “I may see it from your eyes one day. But for now, I think I’ll keep my own vision.”
“Fair enough.” Akira murmured, eyes set on the distant lights of the city, “You don’t have to agree with it all, just understanding it is enough for me.”
Enough for me?
Ryo blinked. At one point, he may not have cared what was enough for his friend. Something stirred in his chest as he watched the boy push away from the railing and turn to go inside.
“It’s getting late.” Akira’s voice was firm, but Ryo could sense something wavering in it.
“...I should get to researching more.” He ventured, testing just how hot the waters could get between them. “My father--”
Akira bristled, and Ryo’s blue-eyed gaze did not falter.
“...No. You’ll have dinner with Miki and the rest of the family, wash up, and go to sleep.” He didn't meet that icy stare. “I won't let you lock yourself away and obsess over demons. You saw exactly what your father became.”
Dark lines grew thick under the boy’s eyes, lacing up to his eyelashes, and his gaze settled on his friend.
“Is that what you want?” He wanted to push farther.
To become a demon? Like me?
Ever since that night at the mansion, Akira had noticed a sense of awe -or was it morbid curiosity?- emanating from Ryo any time those blue eyes met his own.
The blonde dissented softly, a brief shake of the head.
“...No. But I can’t let my father’s sacrifices be in vain.”
Akira closed his eyes, sighing deeply as he leaned up against the doorframe.
“...I understand, Ryo. But I won’t let you…” So many words pushed from behind his teeth. So many thoughts strained at his forehead. Which ones to say? Which ones to open his lips and let come out?
“...It’s still me, Ryo. It will always be me.” Though Akira’s complexion had darkened, though his hair had grown long and wild, there was a long lost gentleness that remained in his eyes. His voice, though husky, was soft.
Ryo had an equal amount of things he wanted to say, but could mot for the life of him say in the right order, or all at once.
This is my way of protecting you, Akira!
If i study the ways of demons more, I can understand how best to defeat them.
We can work as a team, Akira! To hunt them all down, if what you say about humanity to be true...that they're all worth saving!
If I study the ways of demons more, I can understand you. You, Akira! I want to understand....you!
None of this was spoken, but the yearning in his heart did not go unnoticed by his friend.
“I know, Akira.” It was forced. Almost a lie. “...I know it’s always you, but the human mind is fragile, and it falters.” He continued, to reassure himself.
The dark haired boy frowned.
“It doesn't have to. Not between us.” He didn't want to leave this door, but also he didn't want to leave Ryo standing there looking so lost, so frail in the waning dusk light. He really was struggling with his perception of Akira’s new abilities. As if he wanted to cling to an old innocence.
“I trust you, Ryo.” He whispered, giving in. Taking a step forward, watching his friend stiffen. Was it fear?
God, don't let it be fear.
He had grown taller, hadn't he? Ryo thought. When we were just kids, I was taller. I always looked down at him.
...it's different now.
“...” Akira was now only a foot away. He turned his head, gaze lowered. “...I want you to trust me, as I trust you, Ryo.”
It wasn't fear. It was vulnerability. A simple glance showed the shimmering silver stare was nothing but a child’s uncertainty.
Silence.
Ryo had nothing to say. Nothing, but…
“...Akira…” He whispered, finding comfort in the name. His hand soon found another kind of comfort as the broad, calloused fingers of his friend laced with his soft, slender ones. He was quick to close his eyes as he felt his nose brush Akira’s chest, the boy’s other hand pressed to his back to pull him close.
“...It will always be me, Ryo. I promise you that.” He breathed, strong jaw to smooth temple. “Neither one of us are alone in this.” He stared out over the horizon as the sun slipped from view. “You can't bare to lose me, so I can't bare to lose you, either.”
Ryo’s body had been shivering slightly, not having had this sort of touch in what felt like years. Maybe it HAD been years. But the shivering stilled, and his heart clenched as he felt it. Rough lips to his temple.
Just pressed there, unmoving, so he could feel Akira’s hot breath on his hair, his heart thrumming mightily in his chest.
“...” Ryo had nothing to say, and yet, it slipped out. “...Akira…”
He found comfort in that name.
They stood for a while longer, Ryo berating himself silently for having lost sight of what was most important, especially when the damn thing was right in front of him. Akira relaxed, eyes closed. Part of him felt as though he could do this forever, but the other part…
The part of him who was still a teenage boy, grew nervous. Awkward.
Ryo sensed this as well, and as soon as the first jerky movement pulled them apart, he stepped back, looking away, lips drawn up into a small pout.
Akira looked thoroughly embarrassed, yet he drove on, chuckling nervously.
“Besides, you’d get tanuki-eyes from holing yourself up in a room all night lookin’ at books, and scare off all the girls.” he joked, a little too loudly.
Girls?! Ryo looked shocked. When the hell had GIRLS ever been something he cared about?
He glanced past his friend’s half-assed grin, and into empty guest room.
Well, Miki wasn’t the worst. She would probably make some lovely housewife one day, if she ever got around to it.
His expression grew sour and his heart bitter at the thought -- the thought of her and Akira --
He caught himself just as his friend noticed the dark scowl clouding his fine features.
No. He wouldn't dwell on it. He couldn't. It’d tear him apart.
Already, just the notion brought him pain, a twisting in his gut, a thorn in his side.
“Ryo? I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Akira’s voice was so worried, hell, even high pitched, it struck the blonde boy immediately as all too familiar.
That was the voice he grew up with. That was his Akira.
Ryo smirked, and looked up at his friend.
“No, I just find it funny how you think I care what girls think about me.” And with that, he brushed past the stunned boy on the balcony and into the guest room.
“Come get me when dinner’s ready, Akira. We can talk more then.” he called back dismissively, and yet his voice sounded oddly inviting.
Or had it? Akira frowned, now thoroughly confused, his heart pounding a little too hard as he watched Ryo walk out into the hallway, his gaze slipping down his friend’s back, to shifting hips.
A shudder ran through him, and his hair bristled, cheeks ruddy as he shook his head.
...No, Akira. That...that couldn't possibly be what he meant.
With a groan, the boy closed the balcony door behind him and flopped down on the guest bed, staring down at his feet.
He closed his eyes, chin in his hands.
So long as he kept Ryo safe, and close…that’s what mattered. Maybe if he was able to do that, his friend could be happy again. They could both be happy...together?
No, no, no...Akira grumbled to himself, cheeks heating up again. He didn't understand why he’d deny it after all they’d been through, how much they'd grown…
But for fucks, sake, it was Ryo!
He swallowed, and looked up.
...but that made him want that more. Because it was Ryo. He wanted desperately to understand him, to simply be with him, even if it was a struggle at times.
He let out another frustrated growl and flopped back onto the bed, glaring up at the ceiling, hands clawing through his wild hair.
There was no mistaking it, though. No matter how many times he ran it through his head, the look in Ryo’s crystal blue eyes as he glanced over his shoulder at him before walking out never changed.
He had a feeling in his chest, and lower for that matter...that they may not make it to dinner on time.