Chapter Text
There was no way Steve could have known what was coming, but the feeling of dread had dogged him all day just the same.
It came to fruition in early evening when one of the Dora Milaje approached him. “There’s a strange woman we caught at the border,” she said. “She calls herself ‘Sif Bolverksdottir’ and insists she needs to speak to Loki at once.”
Steve jerked. “Sif?” He said. “You’re sure that’s what she said?” He couldn’t help but think of the last time Sif had showed up unexpectedly.
Couldn’t help but think it must be news about Asgard. But why wouldn’t Thor come?
“Yes. Do you know her?”
“I do,” Steve said, the dread deepening. “Can you bring her here? I should...go find Loki.” And Jane, he thought. If this was news about Thor, she should be there too.
The woman - Steve didn’t recognize her - hesitated. “Can she be trusted?”
“Yes,” Steve said. He might not know Sif well, but he remembered her conduct at the trial. “Thank you,” he added, as she turned to go.
The Dora Milaje just inclined her head a fraction and left. Steve stared after her, chewing his lip. He was almost tempted to intercept Sif and find out what news she brought before bringing Loki in, but he couldn’t keep that kind of secret from Loki. No matter how much his stomach was doing flips.
He found Loki on his own, sitting cross-legged on a balcony and apparently meditating. He knocked lightly on the doorframe. “Loki?”
“Mmm?” He said, and Steve walked over slowly.
“Sif’s here,” he said, after brief consideration, trying to find a decent way to say it that wouldn’t seem alarming. “She says she wants to talk to you.”
He saw Loki freeze and heard him stop breathing for a moment. “Ah,” he said. “She said that, did she?” His voice sounded odd. Steve walked over closer to him.
It could be anything, Steve thought, but he couldn’t help but think of what Njörd had said about what had happened on Asgard. But...he could be wrong. Njörd had run away, and besides, even if it was as dire as he’d made it out to be...Thor was tough. Sif might just be here to ask for help, and Thor hadn’t come himself because he was busy defending his home.
Yes, that must be it. That has to be it.
Loki uncrossed his legs and stood, turning around. “Where is she?” He asked simply.
“Not here yet,” Steve said. “Apparently she was stopped at Wakanda’s border, but she’s on her way here now.”
Loki’s expression twitched. “And she didn’t just bowl her way through? That doesn’t sound right.” His voice was just a little too light to be convincing.
“Do you know if Jane is around?” Steve asked. “I think she should...come too.”
Steve saw Loki’s throat bob as he swallowed. “Yes,” he said. “Probably.”
“She could just be here looking for extra help,” Steve said, though it sounded feeble even to him.
“Yes,” Loki said. “That must be it.”
His easy acquiescence to weak reassurance made Steve’s stomach sink even further.
This wasn’t going to be good. It was just a question of how bad it was going to be.
Steve debated informing everyone else and decided that until he knew exactly what was going on, it might be better to limit the audience. Which meant it was just him, Jane, and Loki in the room when Sif walked in.
Steve’s breath caught. She looked - beaten. Not just literally - there were bruises and dirt on her face and her armor was battered and torn - but figuratively. Loki jerked back.
“Sif,” he said, his voice sharp and tense. She turned her head to look at him and Loki sucked a breath through his teeth. “You look like...do you need healing?”
Steve was surprised that Loki wasn’t demanding why she was here immediately, but then he understood: Loki was afraid to hear what she’d come to say. He knew as well as Steve did what the look on her face probably meant.
Sif shook her head. “Not...not now. After I tell you…” She trailed off, her jaw working. “I am sorry.”
Loki’s shoulders rose and fell with his rapid breathing. Steve moved a little toward him. Jane shifted forward, biting her lip. “Sorry for what?” She asked in a small voice.
Sif took a deep breath. “It started with...a series of earthquakes. Unrest on the fringes. Thor came back and for a while things seemed to settle, but…” She walked away, looking out over the jungle. “No one seems to know where she came from.”
Loki looked at Steve, then back at Sif. “‘She’?”
“She calls herself Hela,” Sif said. Her voice sounded distant, like she was making herself talk while trying to tune out the words. “She claims...she claimed Asgard was hers by right. And when we tried to fight…”
Steve’s stomach hurt. He could hear Loki breathing hard. “Say it,” he said. “Just - say it.”
“Asgard is broken,” Sif said quietly. “Her people are...scattered. I do not know where the others are, or who still lives. I believe...I believe Frigga and Odin escaped, but I do not know to where.”
Loki sucked in a breath, his face going ashy pale. Jane swayed, and Steve felt his stomach plummet. “Thor,” Loki said, before Steve could ask. His voice shook. “Where is Thor?” Sif looked down and Steve saw Loki shudder; he took a step forward, not quite reaching out. “Sif.”
“Hela took him,” Sif said, her voice ragged. “She…” Sif trailed off. “I failed,” she said, barely audible.
Jane made a small squeaking noise. Steve felt sick. Loki...rocked back on his heels like he’d been shoved.
“No,” he said after a moment, his voice harsh. “It’s not possible. Thor isn’t - he still lives.”
“Loki,” Steve said quietly, reaching out to take his shoulder. Loki didn’t pull away, but Steve could feel him - vibrating.
“I will not believe it,” he said. “You are wrong. You are mistaken. I would know. I would have felt it.” There was a raw edge in Loki’s voice.
“I saw it all,” Sif said, her voice heavy. “I wish I could say...but it was clear. She shattered Mjolnir, Loki. And-”
“No,” Loki interrupted. Steve glanced at Jane, who was sitting very still, blinking, tears dripping down her face. He wanted to offer her comfort, but with Loki like this...he didn’t know what Loki would do, and that scared him. “I do not care what you saw. It is not possible. Thor cannot - cannot be-” His voice strangled.
Steve didn’t think Sif’s head could bow any further, but she looked like she wanted it to. A moment later she turned back and stepped toward Loki. “Do not offer me comfort,” Loki hissed. “Did you see his body, Sif? Did you feel for heartbeat, for breath? He is not dead. I will not accept it. I refuse to accept it. I would feel if he were, I would have known the hour and the moment.”
Sif closed her eyes. “There was no body left,” she said.
“Oh god,” Jane said quietly. “Please. Stop.”
“Stop it,” Loki said, almost on top of her. His voice shook and he was breathing hard and fast. “It isn’t-” He turned to Steve. “It isn’t true. You know that, you must know that. This is Thor. Tell me-” He cut off. Steve felt like a building had fallen on him.
“I don’t want to believe it either,” he said.
Loki staggered like Steve had slapped him across the face. “You are wrong,” he said again. “All of you are - stop weeping,” he snapped at Jane. “Are you so quick to give him up, too?” Jane flinched.
“Don’t,” she said, voice rough but still firm. “You don’t get to yell at me.”
Loki stared at her, then took a step back. “I need to go,” he said abruptly, turning on his heel. Steve caught his arm.
“Go where?” He asked.
“Asgard,” Loki snarled. “Where else? I need to see-”
“You can’t,” Sif said, his voice harsher, like she was holding back tears. She probably was. Steve still just felt numb. “There is no way back. Heimdall destroyed the sword that controls the Bifrost so that Hela cannot use it.”
“How did you get here?” Steve asked.
“He sent me,” Sif said after a moment, looking away. “Told me I had to go, to bring word of what had happened.” Steve could hear the shame in her voice.
“There are other paths,” Loki said.
“Loki,” Steve said quietly, “you’ve said yourself that...you couldn’t reach Asgard. That the ways there were…” He trailed off.
Loki shuddered again. “Then I will find another way.”
“Loki,” Steve said again, trying to keep his voice quiet but firm. “Don’t...do this. I know how it feels. When Bucky fell…”
“And you got him back, didn’t you?” Loki snapped. “And if you had not given him up for dead, perhaps he would never have been taken by HYDRA and made into their weapon!”
Steve let go of Loki’s arm, anger and hurt flaring up at once. He didn’t have a chance to find words, though, before Loki looked away. “No. I am...that is not fair. But you do not understand. Thor cannot be dead. He cannot.”
“Why not?” Sif said, and now there was anger in her voice too, and bitterness. “You killed him once yourself.”
“Stop it,” Jane said, her voice rising. “All of you! What good is this doing?” Both Sif and Loki turned to stare at her, and Jane seemed to wilt.
Sif looked down as well, though. “You are right,” she said. “This is not...a time to argue. Loki...I am sorry.”
The expression on Loki’s face was something awful. Raw and shattered, the face of someone whose world had just cracked in two. Steve wondered briefly if this was what Loki had looked like when he’d thought Steve was dead.
A moment later the expression was gone, and so was Loki. Sif exclaimed and turned to look at Steve, who felt a pulse of panic. He wouldn’t do anything stupid, he told himself. He wouldn’t. But-
“I need to go find him,” he said. “I’m sorry-” He directed that at both of them, but Sif shook her head.
“Go,” she said, her expression pained. “I would not trust him alone.” Steve looked at Jane, who just looked stunned, a little shell-shocked.
“I can’t believe it,” she said softly. “It doesn’t seem real. Doesn’t seem right.”
Sif walked over and sat down next to Jane, only a little awkwardly. She nodded at Steve and he turned, hurrying out.
He went to his and Loki’s rooms first, but Loki wasn’t there. His heart started pounding, but then he heard a very quiet “out here,” from the balcony.
Steve stepped outside and found Loki sitting with his legs dangling off the edge, staring out over the jungle. Swallowing hard, he sat down next to him.
“Sif would not lie,” Loki said. His voice was very quiet. “But I cannot believe what she says.”
Steve squeezed his eyes closed. “I know you don’t want to…”
“It isn’t that,” Loki said. “I cannot. It is not…” He inhaled, the sound shuddering unevenly. “It is as impossible as...believing that the sun will rise in the west tomorrow. Even when the Destroyer...when I struck Thor. When I killed him. It never felt...real. Some part of me always expected him to get up again. Thor is invincible. Eternal. Whether I have loved or hated him, he is a constant.”
Steve shifted closer to Loki, putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning into him. Could they have helped? He caught himself wondering. If they’d tried to reach Thor sooner, not assumed that everything would be all right because Thor could take care of himself…
Guilt threatened to swamp him. He pressed it back down. He knew he should try to encourage Loki toward acceptance, but… “If Thor was...if he was alive. Is there any way you could find him?”
Loki squeezed his eyes closed. “I have tried. Since this silence grew longer and longer - I have tried to reach his dreams, and failed. Thor has never been gifted in such things, and my range has always been limited. But I do not know what else to attempt.”
Steve stared out at nothing. Thor. God. They’d been down here fighting each other while Thor’s planet burned. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, and Loki’s breathing hitched.
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t. There must be some way...something.” His voice sounded raw, desperate. Steve’s chest hurt. He knew what Loki meant. It didn’t seem...possible. Thor was so strong, almost invincible.
“Sif said he was taken,” Steve said. “Is it possible that this...Hela, that she might keep him alive?”
“I don’t know. All I know of her is...rumors, legends, that call her the Queen of the Dead. But Sif would not-” Loki choked on the words, then forced them out. “Sif would not accept...accept that Thor was fallen. Not easily.”
Maybe she was still wrong, Steve wanted to say, maybe it was a trick, like when I… It would be crueler to offer hope that was probably false, Steve knew. But it was hard to make himself do anything else. He didn’t want to believe that Thor could be gone. Didn’t want to think he might’ve lost another friend and done nothing to stop it.
Loki’s spine curved forward, his head pressed to his knees and his inhale shuddering. “Foolish, foolish Thor,” he said. “No doubt he went into battle against Hela alone, certain of his victory-”
His voice broke.
“Loki,” Steve said, but he was at a loss for words. “Come here,” he said instead. Loki turned and almost crawled into Steve’s arms, pressing his face into his shoulder. Steve wrapped his arms around him tightly, lowering his head to breathe in the smell of Loki’s hair, his eyes burning. “I’m sorry,” he said again, meaningless, stupid, inadequate words. Loki trembled.
“Not Thor,” he said. “It was never supposed to be Thor. Tell me why…”
I don’t know, Steve thought. I’ve never known. People die and it never makes a damn lick of sense. He just held on, unable to keep the shuddering tears from starting.
Loki didn’t cry. Numb, Steve thought.
The worst would come later.
Steve called Bucky over after Loki fell asleep, apparently exhausted. “Thor’s dead,” he said heavily. “That’s what the Asgardian woman, Sif, came to say. Asgard’s gone. Apparently Hela, who at least calls herself the Goddess of Death, attacked, and Thor…”
“Shit,” Bucky said after a moment. “Not that I...hardly knew him. But...shit.” He paused, glancing toward the door down the hall. “You got Loki?”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “He’s sleeping right now. I don’t know that...he’s really absorbed it.”
Bucky studied him. “How about you?”
Steve sighed and sank down onto the couch, rubbing his face with his hands. “I don’t know that I’ve really absorbed it either,” he said honestly.
“Should we be ready for trouble coming our way?”
“I don’t know,” Steve said, and then amended, “probably.” He squeezed his eyes closed. “This is…”
“The last thing we needed right now? True,” Bucky said. Steve gave him a tired look, and Bucky made a face. “I know. Do you think he’s going to do something stupid?”
Steve didn’t have to ask who Bucky meant by ‘he.’ “I hope not.” He paused. “Still, I don’t want to...the team should know.”
“And you don’t want to leave,” Bucky said. “Right. I’ll go tell Sam, he can take care of it.” He cocked his head to the side. “How are you really doing?”
Steve found a weak smile. “I’ve been worse.”
“That’s not much of an endorsement.”
“I know.” Steve looked down at his hands. “I can’t help but feel like we should have tried to find out what happened sooner. Tried to reach Thor. I just assumed he’d be fine, and even after the news came out that there was trouble...I didn’t want to accept it. And we were so busy with...everything else that was happening…”
“Hey,” Bucky said roughly. “There you go again. Blaming yourself for everything.”
Steve just shook his head and stared into the distance. He didn’t know how he was supposed to handle this. How he was supposed to handle Loki, who was a wreck, or how he was supposed to handle the fact that Thor had died and he hadn’t been there, none of them had been, they’d let their teammate down.
“Steve?” Bucky said, sounding uncertain.
“Go ahead,” he said wearily. “Go tell Sam. Everyone...everyone should know. They need to know. Maybe...maybe find Sif too. She’ll be able to explain better.”
Bucky left after another long moment and Steve dropped his head forward and rubbed his eyes. He heard the door open and looked up; Loki came out, his hair a tangled and curling mess, moving like he hurt inside. Steve knew how that felt and ached with the urge to do something even though he knew there was nothing he could do.
“James was here?” Loki asked. Steve nodded.
“Yeah. He asked about you.”
“Oh.” Loki inhaled slowly and then exhaled just as slowly. “I should…” He trailed off and looked at Steve, helpless. Steve looked back at him, hurting. Angry, unfairly, and he didn’t know for sure who he was angry at. This Hela would make sense, but it felt like it was more at himself. Maybe even at Thor, and that just made him feel rotten all the way through.
“No one expects you to do anything,” he said. “But maybe you should think about...not being alone. About...being with other people, not just me.” Even as he said it Steve felt like a hypocrite, and Loki’s tired look in his direction seemed to accuse as much.
“Sif? Or Doctor Foster?” Loki shook his head slightly. “We are not...friends.”
Grief brings people together. It sounded like a platitude even in his head. “They might still appreciate the company.”
“I am not particularly good company,” Loki said, and Steve thought it was meant to be dry, or wry, but it just sounded tired.
“I don’t think anyone expects you to be a social butterfly.”
Loki sank down onto the couch. “How did you bear it?” He asked.
“Bear what?”
Loki shook his head. “Any of it. Losing James. Waking and learning that you’d lost everything else.”
There was a lump in Steve’s throat. A lot of times I didn’t. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I wish...I wish I had a better answer.” He sat down next to Loki and Loki curled up on the couch, putting his head on Steve’s leg.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said.
“You don’t have to do anything,” Steve told him. “Just…” It was hard to talk past the lump blocking his throat. He combed his fingers through Loki’s hair. “Just stay here with me. Like this, if you want. Or...whatever you want.”
“Steve,” Loki said in a small voice, “Thank you. For staying with me.”
“For - of course,” Steve said. “Of course I’m…” Thank you for staying with me, he thought. You are going to stay, aren’t you, you’re not going to do something stupid because you’re hurting?
“I love you,” Loki said, even smaller. Steve looked down at him, curled up with his eyes closed, one of his hands curled over Steve’s leg.
“I love you too,” Steve said. His voice sounded weak and cracked, but Loki sighed unsteadily out like he’d somehow needed to hear it.
Maybe an hour went by before there was a knock on the door. Loki had dozed off but he startled upwards. “Thor?” He said blurrily, and Steve felt a little like he’d been punched. Loki shook himself a moment after, though, and called, “who is it?”
“Me,” said Sif’s voice, recognizable through the door. Loki’s expression spasmed oddly.
“The door is unlocked,” Loki said after a moment, and Steve relaxed, relieved. Sif let herself inside. She’d cleaned up and removed her armor, and she looked at Steve first.
“Hey,” Steve said.
“I...told your other friends what I told you,” she said, voice strained and halting. “I wished to…” She looked at Loki, who was not quite looking at her, and seemed to falter.
“I do not hold you responsible,” Loki said suddenly, his voice strange and distant. “Is that what you need me to say, Lady Sif? I do not know why you would feel you need my absolution, but if that is what you seek, you have it.”
“Loki-” Sif broke off, the look she gave Steve almost helpless. “I wanted to...see how you fared. Whatever past wrongs lie between us, we were friends once, and Thor…”
Steve saw a shudder go through Loki’s body. “Do not ask me how I fare,” he said. “I do not wish to start screaming.” He stood up, though, and took a half step toward her. “Sif…”
She moved first to embrace him, as she had on the bridge after the trial. She must know, Steve thought, that Loki never would. Sif said nothing.
“I do not have the mead, nor the feast, to make a proper memorial,” Loki said at length, his voice unsteady and muffled.
“There would never be enough of either to make it fitting for him,” Sif said.
Loki pulled back first and returned to sit next to Steve. Sif sat down as well, both of them quiet.
Sam wandered in a little later and sat down without asking permission. He held up a bottle. “Anyone want some of this brandy? I know it won’t do anything for the three of you but I figured it might be nice anyway.” To Sif, he said, “I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Sam. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.”
Sif’s smile was wan. “Well met. I wish the same.”
“I didn’t know Thor well,” Sam said, “but even just meeting him briefly...he made a hell of an impression. I’m sorry.” He looked at Loki, whose eyes were cast down, holding still like he was afraid to move.
“The first time I met him he flattened a forest,” Steve said. “Well - to be fair, it was the impact of Mjolnir meeting the shield, but...I wouldn’t have thought he’d become one of my best friends then.” I should have been there. We should have been there to help.
“So this is where the wake is, huh?” Clint was hovering in the doorway, his eyes flickering toward Loki and then away. He came in slowly, but didn’t sit down. “I...Jesus. Thor. I kind of thought he was invincible.”
“So did I,” Loki said, voice quiet enough that Steve wondered if it was meant to be heard.
“Well, yeah,” Clint said after a moment. “Older brothers, right? They’re supposed to live forever.” He swallowed hard. “It’s bullshit. It’s really...it’s just bullshit.”
Loki stuttered a humorless laugh. “A succinct and pithy way of putting it. But not inaccurate for that.” He leaned into Steve, who put an arm around his shoulders.
Jane and Wanda came in next, Jane’s eyes red and her face blotchy. Pietro trailed in after them. Wanda made a beeline for Loki and held out her arms; he stared up at her for a moment before standing and hugging her. She murmured something to him in Sokovian, and Steve saw him shiver slightly.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. Wanda stepped back and turned to Steve, offering him the same.
“I wish I could do more,” she said quietly. “I know that nothing really makes it better. But if anything can help…”
“You’re doing it,” Steve told her. He looked at Jane, who was hanging back and looking uncertain. “Sit down,” he told her. “Sam brought brandy, if you want any.”
“Yes, please,” she said. “That...yeah, I think that’d be good.”
Sam got up to pour. Jane looked at Loki and swallowed.
“Loki,” she said awkwardly. “I’m...I know we’re not exactly...but I’m here if you want.”
Loki looked up, his expression achingly blank, like there wasn’t really room for feeling. Steve’s stomach clenched. “You have a good heart, Jane Foster,” he said finally. “I never should have doubted you were worthy of Thor’s.”
Jane made a little hiccuping noise and started crying again. Wanda steered her over to one of the chairs. Sif looked lost, like she’d suddenly found herself in a world she didn’t recognize, and Clint looked like someone had kicked him in the stomach.
Bucky wandered in a little later and sat down on Loki’s other side, tense and seeming almost defensive, like he thought someone might attack Loki if he weren’t there.
Steve had had a lot of friends die, but he’d never been to a proper wake. There hadn’t really been money to have one for his mother, and he couldn’t remember much of the Commandos’ for Bucky. He hadn’t even made it to Peggy’s. He didn’t think they were supposed to be like this: quiet, awkward, a group of people none of whom knew what to do or what they were supposed to say. They were all acquainted with death, but it was like Clint had said: Thor was supposed to be invincible, even though none of them really were.
Loki barely seemed to be present at all, most of the time.
Jane got drunk and ended up crying on Sif’s shoulder. Clint didn’t touch the alcohol at all, which was a bad sign about his mood. Wanda hovered anxiously and unhappily. The whole thing was just...it hurt.
Eventually they started to bleed out, leaving one or two at a time. Jane paused, looking like she was about to reach out to Loki, and then left without saying anything. Sif, Bucky, and Sam were the last ones there.
“We need to find those who are left,” Sif said. “The survivors...Odin, and Frigga. We need to-”
“Don’t,” Loki said dully. Sif stiffened.
“What do you mean?”
“I said, ‘don’t,’” Loki said. “Asgard has taken everything from me. And now it has taken Thor, because it would accept nothing less than his life in its defense. I have no means of reaching Odin or Frigga, and even if I could - what help would I be, alone? I am an outcast. An exile. I am not Asgard’s savior.” He bent his head forward. “Throw away your life if you wish. But let me grieve, and guard what is left that I love.”
Sif stood up, jerkily. “You have a responsibility,” she said, her voice tight with what Steve recognized as anguish.
“Hey,” Bucky said, leaning forward. “That’s not up to you.”
“Nor you,” Sif snapped back. “You are not Aesir-”
“Nor am I,” Loki said.
Sif’s nostrils flared and she turned to Steve. “You are an honorable man. Tell him that he must-”
“I’m not going to make Loki’s choices for him,” Steve said, trying to keep his voice level, not to get angry. Sif had just watched her dearest friend die and her home burn. He couldn’t fault her for her reactions. “But even if I was...I don’t think now’s the time.”
Sif opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. “There isn’t any other,” she said tightly. “If you wait - if you turn your back on your people, and they are yours whatever your blood may be - there will be nothing of them left to save.”
She turned and stormed out. Bucky snorted.
“Nice woman,” he said a little caustically. Sam was frowning.
“She has a point, though,” he said. “Thor gave up his life trying to save these people. We should at least try to help. Shouldn’t we?”
Loki shook his head. “We have no way of reaching them. And if we did...it would only open a door for this carnage to reach your Realm as well.” He closed his eyes. “If all Asgard could not stop it...I will not risk you.”
“That isn’t just your choice to make,” Sam said, though gently. A ripple went through Loki’s body.
“I am asking you to let me make it.” Sam said nothing, and Loki’s voice turned raw. “Steve, please.”
“We won’t make any decisions now,” Steve said. Loki lurched to his feet and went to the windows.
“Sam, James,” he said, voice unsteady. “Would you…”
“Yeah,” Sam said after a moment. “We’ll go.”
“Like hell,” Bucky said, but Sam gave him a quelling look and he made a face, standing up. He turned to Steve and dragged him into a hug. “You need someone to take Loki-sitting shifts,” he said quietly, “I can do that. You need...something else...I’m around.”
“Thanks,” Steve said, his eyes starting to burn again. He swallowed hard. Bucky let go and went over to Loki; Steve turned to Sam.
“Don’t forget to take care of yourself,” Sam said. “You already look exhausted.”
Steve tried for a wan smile. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Fat chance of that.” Sam hugged him too, then moved over toward the door. “Come on, Barnes. We’ll come back later.”
“Yeah,” Bucky said, his eyes intent on Loki’s back as he moved away. “We sure will.”
Steve waited until the door closed to get up and go over to Loki.
“Do you think she’s right?” Loki said. “That I should…”
“I don’t think that’s what you need to be thinking about right now.”
“It might be better than wondering if Thor suffered before he died,” Loki said, his voice quiet and distant. “Than wondering if Frigga is still alive, and where she is. Than thinking about the seven or eight different theories of resurrection I read, each one warning of a terrible price.”
Steve tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Loki…”
Loki turned and faced him. “Steve,” he said, and his eyes were damp. Steve reached for him and Loki stumbled forward, almost crashing into him. His shoulders were shaking like he was trying to hold something back, and Steve tightened his arms around him like he could hold him together.
“Hey,” he said. “I got you.”
He almost felt something crack. Loki’s inhale shook; his exhale was a sob, and then he was weeping into Steve’s shoulder with something approaching desperation, like he’d just been waiting for permission.
Steve closed his eyes and rested his head against Loki’s and let his own tears fall.