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English
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Published:
2018-02-11
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384
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1/1
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Pity and Envy

Summary:

A drabble about 6 from 1's point of view.

Notes:

I had this piece saved in an old email account a few years back. At the time I think I wanted to write more, but looking at it now I like it just as it is. Well, minus some small phrasing changes here and there. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Work Text:

I see the way you're tormented. 

I pity you, and I envy you. 

By being trapped in your own world you have subverted all of life's difficulties. You will never know what it's like to decide the fate of another.

Then again, perhaps you do.

I don't know what your burden is, but I can see it weighing on you each day. You seem so distant sometimes, I fear you may drift so far away that nothing can pull you back. And then for whatever it's worth you have your moments of clarity, where you seem content and ignorant and completely happy with the world around you. 

I'll never forget what you said to me that night. It was dark and cold, and you were weeping, convulsing. In my attempts to calm you, you reached out and grabbed me. I can still feel the unique pressure of your sharp yet delicate fingers on my arm. You told me I didn't deserve to die. It shouldn't have frightened me the way it did, but you said it with such conviction and sorrow that I just ran. I ran away from your little corner and never once did I return.

In a way, I was angry. It was as if you were confirming my nightmares. But as a whole I was terrified.

I'm sorry for the way I treated you after that. I wanted to discredit you. I kept you away from the others, physically and mentally. Yet still, you remained dedicated. You risked your life trying to tell them, and for that you paid the price.

That was when I knew I had to take action. To kill that soulless machine. I had been avoiding death all my life, but seeing you go without a struggle changed something within me. You were the smallest and weakest of us all, but in the face of death you were more noble a soul than I was in life. That was the hardest blow of them all.

I have seen, and I have done, and I have learned, but you have only ever seen. You have so much potential to be, but you couldn't achieve it on your own, not like I.

You are unique, and I will never understand you. But that doesn't mean the others won't.