Work Text:
Adam heard the buzz of his phone go off on the help desk counter in the library. Even though it was on vibrate, it was silent on the third floor where he worked, which made it seem like an explosion; and in turn, had startled Adam out of his reverie of reading for his global history class.
He searched around the desk quickly and took a little neon green post-it note and put in into his book before closing it shut. Adam let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes, trying to get the blurriness of too much reading in mediocre lighting. Then he glanced at his watch, which told him he still had an entire hour of his night shift before he could go back to his dorm and fall asleep for a few hours before his eight am.
A sigh escaped his lips just thinking about it. But the wear and tear of working and studying was nothing new to Adam. He grabbed his extremely out of date keyboard phone that was straight out of the early 2000s and checked the home screen. He had to wonder who would bother texting him.
It came from an unknown number, but Adam recognized the area code. He found it weird because it was coming from Virginia, and he was in New Jersey. But he was curious as to what the text would say, so he went ahead and opened it up.
[Unknown Number: 11:45 PM]
I’ll double whatever price others are paying for that heifer.
Adam stared at the message for a minute. He tried to unpack what it meant, but just found himself thoroughly confused instead by it. The text was brief and curt and gave no context to what they meant. Adam didn’t even know what a heifer was.He debated on whether or not to respond, but he figured it is best to tell the person they had the wrong number.
[Adam’s Number: 11:52 PM]
I think you have the wrong number.
Adam put his phone down and went back to reading his assigned book that was due for tomorrow. He barely got through a page when the phone vibrated again. Adam sighed and took the phone back into his hand to read the text.
[Unknown Number: 11:54 PM]
The ad on Craigslist listed your number on it.
Adam didn’t like the tone that seemed to be portrayed over the message. Like Adam was in the wrong somehow.
[Adam’s Number: 11:55 PM]
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have no idea what a heifer even is.
Adam stared at the text exchange for a moment. He hated that his interest was piqued now. But he still went ahead and typed out another message anyway. He was bored, and this was the most entertaining thing to happen all day.
[Adam’s Number: 11:56 PM]
Why do you want this heifer anyway?
The text went unanswered for the next twenty minutes. Adam felt put off that the conversation had ended so abruptly, even it if was with a complete stranger looking for a virgin female cow for whatever reason. It was the only person he had talked to his entire shift. So he just quickly and quietly closed up the library and started his trek home.
He was halfway there when he felt the familiar vibration. Adam took the phone out of his pocket and opened it up.
[Unknown Number: 12:20 AM]
Thought you didn’t know what a heifer was
[Adam’s Number: 12:20 AM]
I googled it at work. Now I just have to wonder why you want a virgin female cow. And you didn’t answer my question…
For some reason, the text felt dangerous. He was starting a real conversation with this person. He should’ve just left it when he told them he had the wrong number. But Adam felt compelled to continue, and he had no idea why. So he quickly turned off his phone when he made it back into his dorm room and went to bed trying to forget the conversation.
When Adam woke up the next morning, he turned on his phone to start his day. He got up, did his normal morning routine. His roommate, Gansey was still sleeping, hunched over his desk with his cheek up against papers of all sorts. Gansey barely slept as it was, so Adam never woke him up when he did catch some.
When he picked up his phone he did not expect to see so many texts from unknown numbers with unknown area codes. Adam nearly had a hernia thinking about his phone bill for this month. All he had to do was not text back and he’d be okay. He can’t help incoming texts anyway.
“What the actual hell?” he muttered to himself.
From first glance, he could see all the texts had to do with that stupid heifer. That ad was creating chaos that Adam did not need in his life. But he did see the familiar area code and number from last night and opened that one.
[Unknown Number: 3:04 AM]
I’m a farmer, looking for a cow to fuck with a bull when it's older, obviously. Not that it’s any of your business anyway.
Adam couldn’t tell if they were serious or not. It seemed to come off very sarcastically. He typed out a message.
[Adam’s Number: 7:36 AM]
I can’t tell if you were being sarcastic or not. But sorry, I was just curious. And that ad has ruined my morning. I woke up with a hundred different messages about the cow.
He heard shuffling coming from Gansey’s side of the room. Adam glanced over to see Gansey stretching with his arms over his head and letting out a groan that only came from private moments like these. Then he slumped and stood up rubbing his eyes.
“I really have to stop falling asleep with my contacts in,” he said before taking them out of his eyes and blinking hard to stop the irritation. He swapped them out with his wireframes and smiled at Adam.
“Good morning, Adam.”
Adam returned the smile. “Mornin’, Gansey. Maybe you should just wear your glasses instead of contacts,” he suggested.
Gansey waved his hand in dismissal. “Nonsense. Who are you texting over there?” he asked and walked over.
Gansey was a naturally curious creature. Adam admired it most of the time, but sometimes he didn’t like it. This was one of those times. But Adam could rarely ever keep secrets from him if he wanted to know. Plus, this isn't even a secret. It was something weird and funny that happened, and he could tell as a story.
Adam sat up and waved his phone in his hand. “Some random number. Last night at work, I got a text from this person telling me they’ll double whatever price others bid on this cow. Apparently, someone posted my number on an ad for Craigslist.”
Gansey’s eyes widened and he let out a laugh before sitting next to Adam on his bed. Adam opened up the conversation and showed it to Gansey so he could read it. Adam watched his mouth move silently as he read the words, and his eyebrows raise on his head.
“Wow, that is something.”
Adam took his phone back. “Yeah, now I have to go block all these other numbers asking about some cow too.”
Gansey put his hand on Adam’s leg. “On the plus side, it makes a for a funny story to tell our friends.”
“Guess so,” Adam responded.
He kept getting more notifications. At this rate, Adam was afraid his phone was going to short circuit and die on him from the overload. He never had this much attention on him ever in his entire life. But a familiar number cut through.
[Unknown Number: 7:45 AM]
Not sarcastic about being a farmer and wanting a female cow. Also sucks to be you.
Gansey had leaned over to read the incoming message. Out of his peripheral, he saw Gansey’s expression morph into his thinking one. His eyebrows furrowed and he ran a thumb over his lower lip.
“Hmm, that number looks very familiar to me,” he said.
Adam shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a Virginia area code. Probably why.”
Gansey shook his head and got up and grabbed his phone. Adam watched him type away on his sleek screen on his iPhone. “Adam read me the number please.”
“Why?” he asked.
“Just do it,” he said back offering no room for argument.
Adam pursed his lips and read off the number to Gansey. He watched his roommate’s expression morph and then he let out a belly laugh. It startled Adam to hear his roommate sound like that.
“Gansey, what the hell?” Adam finally asked after his roommate’s laughter died down a little.
He wiped a tear from his eye. “This is so absurd. That number is my best friend Ronan. He lives in Virginia and is a farmer. Oh my God, this is just serendipitous in a twistedly hilarious way.”
“You can’t be for real,” was all Adam could fathom to say.
Gansey tossed his phone onto his bed. “Oh but I am. Ronan is going to freak out when he hears about this.”
Adam had met Ronan exactly one time. For some reason he had come up to visit Gansey for a day, and Gansey had invited Adam to tag along. Ronan had been hostile to him the entire day and they parted off bitterly.
“Jesus Christ,” Adam muttered. He stood up and started to get ready for class.
“This is amazing. I have to tell Jane and Noah about it,” Gansey exclaimed.
“At least shine me in a better light. God, this is the worst day ever.”
“Don’t say that.”
“If Ronan found out it was me he was texting, I don’t even know how he’d react,” Adam said.
Gansey let out another laugh. “I’ll tell you how! He’d freak out because he has a massive crush on you!”
Adam whipped around. Gansey looked like the cat who ate the canary. He must’ve heard that wrong.
“What did you say?”
The two of them stared at each other for a long moment. Gansey trying to figure out how to clean up the situation he found himself in. He let out a breath and put his hands on his hips like he was thinking about something.
“I won’t repeat those words. What he doesn’t know won’t kill him, I guess.”
“Goodbye Gansey,” Adam said as he scooped up his backpack and made his way out of the door.
He had no idea how he would ever focus in class when those words would be repeating inside his head like a broken record all day.
He has a massive crush on you.