Chapter Text
Nico let out a breath, opened her eyes, sat up and looked around the campsite. Everyone had been exhausted, so when she heard the slow, steady breathing of people asleep she felt glad that her friends were getting some rest.
Molly and Gert had fallen asleep hugging each other. Chase lay next to Gert, a protective arm thrown over the two girls. Old Lace had curled up by their feet. Nico thought they looked like a family, and dearly hoped whatever happened in the future would bring them even closer together.
Alex was several feet away, separated from everyone else. Nico felt a brief surge of anger. He had been so ready to leave Karolina. Nico knew why, she knew it was the most logical, sensible choice. She even knew it was what Karolina would want them to do. Nico also knew that she was never going to leave without Karolina. If the others had refused to help rescue her, Nico would have tried on her own.
Nico wondered where Karolina would be if she was with them. Would she be by herself, like Alex, or would she be sleeping next to Nico, would they be wrapped in each other's arms?
Nico sighed heavily. Karolina Dean was the reason she couldn't sleep. If someone had asked her yesterday if she was straight, she would have said yes. Then a beautiful girl had kissed her, and now she was questioning everything.
Lying down, Nico closed her eyes and gently brushed her fingertips across her lips. As stupid as it sounded she could still feel the kiss, Karolina's lips gently pressing against hers. Nico had been momentarily surprised, but kissing Karolina back had felt right and that meant something big.
Nico had known Karolina almost her entire life. They'd never been best friends, Nico had always been closer to Amy and Alex, but they'd been close. Karolina had always been sweet, kind and caring and Nico had respected that, she had felt drawn to that. Not that that had meant anything, everyone was drawn to Karolina.
Yes, Nico could admit that Karolina was beautiful, but that was because she had eyes. Karolina had always been pretty growing up. Nico even remembered telling Karolina she was pretty when they were 12, but everyone said she was pretty so that didn't mean anything either. Nico remembered when Karolina had hit puberty. It had been very, very kind to her and the pretty girl of average high had turned into a tall, beautiful teenager. Nico had admired Karolina's beauty, but she thought works of art were beautiful as well. Just because she thought something was beautiful, it didn't mean she had feelings for it.
Nico rubbed her eyes. Things had always been easy with Alex. She had always thought he was handsome and found his dorky personality cute. They had flirted for ages and she was certain Alex would ask her out. They would date, fall in love and probably spend their lives together. Then Amy had died. Nico was hurt Alex didn't attend the funeral and even more upset when he stopped calling. Shortly after Nico isolated herself, the rest of her friends stopped reaching out. Karolina had tried the hardest. She hadn’t left Nico’s side at the funeral, had tried so hard to comfort her, but Nico had been numb and unresponsive. Nico remembered all the texts Karolina had sent and all the times she had called. Nico never replied, she couldn’t reply. Karolina had tried so hard, but eventually even she had given up.
When they'd all reunited, Nico had felt Alex's pain and sadness. It had matched her own. Alex clearly still had feelings for her and it was easy for Nico to remember how she used to feel. How Alex was always the person she'd call, always the first person she'd talk to and it was so easy to fall back into old habits. Despite everything, she'd been happy when Alex had kissed her and been thrilled at the idea of dating. Then she had learned the truth.
She knew she would forgive him, he was a kid in an impossible situation, but right now the pain, the hurt and the anger was too raw. The fact that he could have spared her two years of crushing guilt, two years of thinking she could have done something, if only she'd been a better sister. It was still to fresh and even though she would forgive, Nico thought she could never forget.
Nico had to admit that even in the last few weeks, when she’d been starting to build a relationship, or something, with Alex, she couldn’t help but notice Karolina. She would occasionally find herself looking at Karolina, then feel self-conscious and quickly look away. As the weeks had passed and she’d become more comfortable around Karolina, she had also become much more tactile with her, casually touching the blonde several times. Nico now realised she hadn't needed to hug Karolina so tightly outside Timely. She didn't need to tuck that lock of hair behind Karolina's ear, and she certainly didn't need to hold Karolina's hand while the blonde put a ring on her. When she'd touched Karolina at school, after Eifel had been a “hateful bitch”, Nico had rationalised that Karolina had needed comfort, but Nico was not a tactile person and she now realised she wouldn’t have done the same thing for Chase, or Gert, or even Molly. Every time Nico had touched Karolina, it was because she'd wanted to, not because she felt she had to.
It had become impossible to deny what she felt when Gert had pulled her away from Karolina. The fear, the terror at suddenly losing her and the overwhelming need to save her. She hadn’t felt that desperate when Alex was taken. The last time she’d felt something that intense was the morning she’d found Amy. Nico wondered what she’d have done if it had been anyone else, would she have fought so hard for them, would she have run back without the staff or a plan. She knew the answer was no.
The kiss hadn’t really awoken anything in Nico, instead it had made her understand her feelings. Before the kiss she would have said that her feelings had always been plutonic. That she had admired Karolina’s thoughtfulness and beauty, even that she’d had a bit of a girl crush on Karolina, but Nico now realised she’d been wrong. She had always had romantic feelings for Karolina, she just hadn’t realised what it was she was feeling. She never thought Karolina was an option, so it was much easier, safer and acceptable to focus her attention on Alex.
Nico briefly thought what would have happened if she’d known everything all those years ago. Would she have gravitated towards Karolina or Alex? Nico shook her head, that was a pointless, useless train of thought. It was in the past and she had to think about the future.
As she felt exhaustion pull her into sleep, Nico wondered if she was bisexual. She hadn’t been attracted to that many men and had only been attracted to Karolina. As she fell asleep, Nico decided she could figure that out some other day. All that mattered now was rescuing Karolina.
---
“You should have run.”
“Some of us wanted to.”
“Not you?”
“Nope, not me.”
Nico took another step forward and gently kissed Karolina. The nerves she'd been feeling just seconds before vanished and Nico knew that this was right. She lent back, opened her eyes and was greeted by Karolina's smile. After everything she'd been through, Karolina looked so happy that Nico had kissed her. Nico realised that she was smiling too. Any lingering doubts had been dispelled, Nico liked Karolina, she cared for her deeply. Nico had no idea what they were going to do and she had no idea how to stop their parents. The only thing she knew right now was that she wanted to be with Karolina.