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“So what are we doing on Valentine’s Day?” Phil asks, for the umpteenth time in a week.
The past few weeks were… normal. There’s nothing out of the ordinary going on, they record videos like always, do live shows like always, looking for their forever home. Yet, Dan’s been dismissive about their plans for Valentine’s Day. Phil can’t really put his finger on why, but it’s bugging him.
It’s not that they need to have some big, elaborate plan. They could just go out for a nice meal, go for a walk or go to the cinema. It could be like any other date night. It’s the thought that counts, not the money going into it. But it is coming up, it’s only a week away, so if they want to get a reservation somewhere, they’d need to do it quickly. They could even just stay at home, but Dan’s refusing to give him a simple yes or no and it’s starting to piss Phil off.
Phil already knows his answer, so instead he just leaves the living room to start editing his new video, because right now, he just can’t deal with yet another ‘I don’t know’.
He decides to drop it. If Dan can’t be bothered, well then, that’s on him. Phil will just wake up early, leaving Dan in bed, while he nips out to get some flowers for him. After that they can have a lazy day with lazy kissing leading up to lazy sex and ordering takeaway.
The evening before Valentine’s Day, late evening, Phil’s more than ready to go to bed. He went through his ritual of doing Buzzfeed quizzes and liking some fan art on Twitter. He looks at Dan.
“You coming to bed?” Phil yawns. He’s so tired, considering they didn’t do anything.
Dan’s phone rings and he grins at it. “I’ll be there in a sec.”
Phil wonders who the hell calls at 11:30 at night. They’ve been talking to some American app developers so it might be them (but why would they call? Email has existed for decades) but Phil’s too tired to care.
He falls asleep quickly, he can’t even wait for Dan. He does, however, wake up to Dan getting into bed and cuddling him.
“I love you,” Dan whispers into his shoulder.
Phil’s mind distantly registers the thought, then he’s back in dreamland.
His alarms rings at 8, when it is way too early to be human. He quickly turns it off, but thankfully Dan’s a heavy sleeper. Phil wants it to be a surprise. He peels Dan’s arm off of his torso, but immediately replaces it with his pillow. It’s too early to function, but he would do anything for love and Dan. Seeing Dan sigh with content as he pulls the pillow closer is definitely worth it.
Phil quickly gathers his clothes. He has a delicate plan and that involves not waking Dan. He takes one last look at his sleeping boyfriend (and his naked butt sticking out of the duvet). His heart is ready to explode; it’s so full of love for the boy who crashed into his life nine years ago.
Nine years. Nine long, happy, interesting, busy years. Ups and downs. Arguments and inside jokes. Travelling between two ends of England at first. Memories of the past years flood Phil’s mind as he gets dressed in the living room. So many places, new cities and cultures, new experiences. He’s lucky, extremely lucky he gets to share it with Dan.
Once he’s dressed, he brushes his teeth on his way out and puts his hat on. Sure, he could’ve brushed his hair, but that would’ve then required effort to make it look nice. Hat morning it is then. He can have a shower after his mission.
Thankfully, the flower shop is not far, but oh boy is it crowded, despite the fact it’s only little after 8. People are queuing to get bouquets of red roses for their loved ones. Phil doesn’t really want to give in and get the most cliched option, but he’s not educated enough in the language of flowers to pick the right ones. He could choose the safest option and get lilies for Dan as they’re his favourite, but decides against it. He wants to make it special.
When he’s at the front of the queue, the florist looks at him, bored. She’s middle aged and probably has been dealing with last minute buyers for the past God knows how many years.
“Hey, one bouquet of red roses, yeah?” she asks, without even waiting for Phil to say anything.
“Actually… I need some help.”
Life seems to return into her eyes. Looks like she’s up for a challenge to break her monotonous Valentine’s day routine. “Oh?”
“I’m looking for something that represents…” It’s hard to put it into words. There are no words for it, to be honest, what he feels for Dan. “Something that represents forever, true love, admiration and...” He trails off, smiling a bit. God, he’s still so in love with him.
“She must be a lucky lass.”
Phil sighs. “Yeah, he is.”
The lady blinks, and smiles at Phil apologetically. “Well, you can never go wrong with red roses.”
“Yeah, I figured, but I was kind of looking for something more.”
She stops for a second, looking around the shop. Her colleague, a young and bubbly girl is serving the other customers, but she only seems to care about Phil. “How about a bouquet of different colour roses, hm? That way we could get everything in there. Different colours have different meanings after all, so we’ll be able to find something that fits your needs.”
Phil grins. Finally, someone who gets it. “That’d be lovely, thank you very much.”
Ten minutes later, he’s walking out the shop, with a big, big bouquet. Sure, it’s still just a couple of roses, but the florist was right, they got the combination Phil was looking for.
On his way home, he passes a bakery. The front door is open, the smell of pastries somehow manages to hide the stench of London. He can’t not get some croissants for them, right?
He tries to enter the flat as quietly as possible. He stands by the front door, listening, but he can’t hear anything. Dan seems to be still asleep.
Phil walks to the kitchen, putting the bag of fresh croissants on the table. He quickly takes his coat and shoes off. Grabbing the bouquet, he tiptoes to the bedroom where he finds Dan still in bed. He’s quietly snoring, another sound that warms Phil’s heart. Thankfully, his face is towards the edge of the bed now, instead of his butt.
Phil crouches next to the bed. Dan’s curly fringe is covering his forehead and eyes, so Phil pushes it away then presses a kiss on the rosy patch on his jaw. (Otherwise, it would’ve been his very naked and very kissable ass. Not that Phil would’ve minded that.)
“Dan,” he calls out his name quietly. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t start with a jumpscare after all. “Dan, wakey wakey.”
Dan groans. “Leave me be,” he says as he covers his face with his hands.
“Danny boy, wake up.”
Dan opens his eyes, but it takes a second for them to adjust. When he sees Phil’s smiling face, he smiles back at him. “Morning.” He closes his eyes again, ready to sleep more.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Phil turns on the bedside lamp and shows Dan the flowers, but doesn’t attempt to give it to him. He’s too sleepy and would drop it.
Dan blinks a couple of times, then rubs his eyes. “Babe, you shouldn’t have…”
“I wanted to.” Phil kisses Dan’s forehead and keeps his lips close. “You honestly how no idea how much I love you.”
“I think I do.” Dan pulls him in for a kiss, but thinks otherwise the last second. “Morning breath, soz.”
Phil rolls his eyes. “We’ve been together for…”
“Nine years.”
“Nine and a bit, yeah? Don’t deny me those months. Do you think I care?”
“God, you’re so stupid.”
“But I’m your stupid.”
Dan laughs, putting his hands on the back of Phil’s neck, slightly tugging at the black locks. “Only Phil Lester, the love of my life, can make me laugh at fuck o’clock.”
“Can I get my kiss now?”
Dan kisses him, and Phil doesn’t care. Morning breath or not, this is the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
“God, I love you so much,” Dan says as they break away to breathe.
“You’ll love me even more. I got us breakfast.”
Colour drains from Dan’s face. “What?”
“Breakfast. Croissant. I passed a bakery on my way home from the florist. Speaking of which I should put these in water.”
“No, no, you… Argh!” Dan kicks off the duvet and stands up as Phil straightens back up as well. “I had a plan. I have, have a plan.”
“What are you on about?”
“Brunch at that cafe. The one with the cute, but slightly abominable orange wallpaper.”
“Oh, it was something more horrible than that.” Phil laughs. “Well, we can go.”
Phil hands Dan the flowers who immediately presses his nose among the petals. “Thank you.” He steps closer to Phil, hugging him. Hugging Dan is just about the best thing in the world. He’s warm, soft and smells good. He smells like familiarity, safety, like home. Dan puts his hand on the back of Phil’s back. A shiver runs down Phil’s spine, but it’s a good one, the sort you get when you’re about to say ‘I love you’ for the first time. “Why the different colours though? Did the shop run out of red roses?”
“I’ll have you know they have different meanings. The lady at the shop helped me out quite a lot,” he says as they look into the other’s eyes. Phil has difficulty on concentrating on the meaning of the roses as those warm brown eyes are just too damn captivating. It’s cheesy yes (in fact, he hears Dan in his head going ‘It’s supposed to be cheesy’.) ”Red’s for love, obviously. Pink’s for admiration. I know yellow is for friends, but it’s also for happiness because you make me so happy. Orange is for passion and desire because damn, Daniel.” Phil giggles, enjoying his joke. Dan just gives him a look. “Lavender is for love at first sight. Thankfully, they had burgundy too, cause that’s for undying love.”
“God, Phil…” Dan is looking at him with tears in his eyes. “You were right. I do love you more.”
By ten, they’re ready to get food (blame it on that sweet and familiar fooling around in bed, then showering together). They share a croissant as they’re leaving because they’re both starving.
The cafe is closer to their old place, so ever since living in their second London home, they kind of neglected it. Phil swears it has the best pancakes in the world, because you get milkshake with them for free.
The brunch is nice. It’s not unusual, they sometimes treat themselves to breakfasts or brunches at a random cafe, but this morning, it’s sentimental. It’s the place they used to come to after radio shows when they were too tired, yet still hyped up. It’s the place they first came up with the idea for TABINOF and TATINOF.
But today, it’s their tenth Valentine’s Day together. They play footsie under the table as they wait for their order to arrive and grin at each other like they’re teenagers in love.
“One day, you’ll die of sugar overdose, I hope you know that,” Dan remarks as Phil washes the last bite of pancake down with his chocolate milkshake.
“Yeah, when we’re in our seventies and have a couple of grandkids running around us. I’ll just fall into a pile of maple syrup covered pancakes and die right there.” They’ve had the talk, the one about the future. Marriage, kids, settling down for good, a couple of dogs. It’s all happening at some point in their lives. But when Phil mentions their hypothetical grandchildren, Dan looks away. “So, what else do you have planned?”
“Oh, I thought we could go to Regents Park to burn off those calories, maybe check out the zoo if it gets a bit warmer.”
Phil leans closer, Dan doing the same. “I have another way to burn the pancakes off.”
Dan laughs, with his obnoxiously loud laughter. “And people say you’re innocent.”
“They should see our whips and handcuffs then.” A waitress walks past them and gives them a look. Phil smiles at her with his charming smile, but Dan’s face says the smile turned out to be creepy.
Regent’s Park is one of Phil’s favourite places in London. It used to be a breath of fresh air when he was running away from editing, life and stress. They’ve taken many walks here, day or night.
By the time they get to the park, the Sun is out. It’s still a bit nippy, but the Sun is definitely helping. Considering it’s Thursday morning, quite a few people are out and about. Dan and Phil walk next to each other, hands close but not touching. They can’t. Resisting is the hardest thing to do. They are not very keen on PDA anyway, but it would be nice, especially on Valentine’s Day. Their hands sometimes brush and it’s the nicest feeling. He likes holding Dan’s hand; they do it at home while watching a film or when they’re at a restaurant, tucked away in the corner. He likes holding his hand, because it’s big like his and firm; because it provides stability, comfort and a piece of home away from home.
Phil wants to walk towards the zoo, but Dan convinces him to go to the lake first. He’s adamant to go to the bridge first.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Phil asks when they’re nearing it. “Something’s up. I can feel it in my fingers.”
“And I can feel it in my toes. Love is all around us.” Dan winks.
“I should’ve left you at that train station,” Phil replies with a lurking smile.
“Then you wouldn’t be getting any.”
“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t either. We’re two hermits that happened to find each other.”
People walk past them, but Dan and Phil are happy to exist in their love bubble. They’ve been in there for over nine years and they’re not planning to burst it.
They reach the bridge; Phil doesn’t see anything particular about it. He looks at Dan, but he’s looking ahead of him, with a permanent smile. Phil’s about to ask why Dan wanted to come here when a dog starts walking across the bridge, looking very small and very lost. He’s just a puppy, a Golden Retriever, Phil reckons, although, despite spending hours and hours looking at dog pictures, he can’t be sure.
“Come on, Phil, there’s a dog!” Dan tugs at his coat, dragging him closer to the dog. (In all honesty, Phil is shaken to his core. Leaving such a small puppy in the cold, wandering around is just a crime against humanity).
They walk close to the puppy; Phil extends his hand and the pup sniffs it, wagging his tail like crazy. He crouches down to scratch his ears and that’s when he notices the paper on his collar. He is vaguely aware that Dan is standing somewhere behind him, but he doesn’t care when this dog obviously needs help (and belly rubs).
“You’re gonna get cold, little guy!” Phil reaches for the paper and moves it so he can read it. ‘ Are you my owner? ’
He looks at Dan, confused, all the while the dog is chewing his finger with his little baby teeth. The puppy must be lost, or something. But Dan just smiles at him. “Maybe check the other side?”
Phil turns the paper around. “Toto Howell-Lester,” he reads aloud and almost jumps. Still crouching, he turns around to look at Dan who is smiling even wider. “Oh my god, Dan, you didn’t!”
“I did, yeah. Must be crazy or something.”
“God, I want to kiss you, but… dog.” Phil laughs and turns back to Toto. “Wait, did you name it Toto because we had our first dance to Africa in my bedroom?”
“Can you blame a guy?”
Phil smiles at him. “I love him. I love you.”
“Isn’t there another paper?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah!” Phil reads the next paper as well. “Will you… WHAT?!” He stands up and turns around, only to find Dan, already down on one knee, holding a ring box. When Toto sees him there, he runs up to him, and starts chewing his coat. “Oh my God.”
“God dammit, you had one job, Phil. Want me to say those words? Alright.” Dan laughs, but he’s nervous, his voice is shaking. He’s trying to hide it as much as possible, but he’s seriously failing. “Phil, you are the love of my life, always have been, always will.”
“Oh my God, shut up!” Phil laughs and he jumps on Dan, knocking him over.
They’re just there, lying on the cold wood of the bridge. Toto is jumping on them, excited because it’s the best thing (it really is). Dan’s holding Phil on his chest and they’re both laughing and crying. Phil kisses Dan, his fiancé.
“You never let me finish my question.”
“Like you don’t know my answer.”
“Or read what’s on the paper.”
“What is on the paper?”
“ Will you marry my other dad? ”
Phil laughs and stands up, pulling Dan up as well. “You know, if it said daddy, I would’ve said walked.”
“Figured.” Dan reaches for his hand, linking their fingers together. “So what do you say?”
“Of course I’ll marry you.”
Dan grins and kisses him. It’s sweet and perfect and the kind that seems to go on for ages, until Phil remembers the dog might fall into the water.
“Come here, Toto!” Toto barks, well, tries to. His voice is weak and he has a lot of growing ahead of him, but Phil is already in love with him and just how soft he is. Phil lifts him up, then pulls Dan in for a hug as well, squeezing the pup in between them. “How did you manage to do this? Or the flat. We can’t have dogs there, can we?”
Dan rolls his eyes. “I had my ways.”
“But…”
“Phil, seriously, don’t worry about that right now!”
“Okay, so how is he here, then?” Phil asks, squeezing Toto more.
Dan sighs and takes a step back. “Martyn and Corn. They’re probably hiding in a bush.” Phil’s adamant to find out how Dan managed to pull it off. He has many more questions, but Dan just puts his hand on his. “Don’t care about anything, babe, everything is settled.” He presses a kiss on top of Toto’s head, just behind his ear. In return, Toto licks his nose. “I love you.”
“Me or the dog?”
“Yes.”
“I love you, too.”
Phil kisses him, but Toto gets way too excited. He starts licking their chins and neck. They break away and start laughing, but it only makes Toto more jumpy.
“Let’s go home.”
And they do, the three of them. Nothing’s changed, yet everything did. They’re parents now, kind of, and they’re engaged. It’s the start of something a bit new, because after all they’re still the same people and their love is still the same, but this time, they have a child together (Phil says this to Dan who just rolls his eyes). He’s always thought he’s been living the best of his life, but he was wrong. This is the best bit, walking through Regent’s Park with his fiancé (even though the ring never made it onto his finger because they were just so excited) while holding their puppy who’s going to cause some troubles. This is the best bit.