Chapter Text
“Too soon...too soon…” Remus muttered as he paced the boys lavatory. He has effectively scared out the others a while ago. Sirius and James were serving lunch denation again.
His fist clenched and unclenched as he paced. Dark eyes closed and opened to reveal bright amber eyes. As much as he tried he couldn’t keep him in. He couldn’t lock him back into his cage in the back of his mind. Remus tried to push the wolf back down. He wasn’t in the shack. He couldn’t let the wolf roam the halls here in school. There were the rumors and while Remus did his best to ignore them he knew they were there. One of the freaks of this school. He was ranked right up there with the best of them despite his friends. They couldn’t hide the scars or the reason he left once a month...twice this month. They tried though.
The wolf clawed his way out the best he could though. The slight personality change would be apparent to those who knew him. He held the anger that being a werewolf caused. The wolf had all the emotions Remus didn’t allow himself to feel. This curse that he was forced to live with and try to be the poster child for his father. The wolf held all the emotions and they came out every month in a wolf that was far to violitle for some.
Gripping the sink Remus looked up. Inside there was a battle happening. As soon as the door opened he snapped his head towards the door. A low growl escaping before he could do anything about it.
Severus.
“Get. Out.” Remus growled at him.
Severus strolled right into the bathroom. He happened to be just a few inches shorter than Remus but the Slytherin didn’t know when to quit. After the torture, and Remus knew it was torture they had inflicted on him, he still hadn’t backed down. “Cut the big bad wolf crap, drink this.” He held up a potion for him. It looked like mud just more liquidly. “I’ll force you to drink if you don’t drink it willingly.”
Both the wolf and Remus blinked a few times. Only a few people had stood up to the wolf the rare times he showed up. Plucking the potion form Severus he downed it. The muddy looking liquid went down as expected. There were gags and a betrayed look from the amber eyes towards the dark ones of Severus.
Slowly the wolf started to calm, allowing himself to be put back in his cage till tonight. Remus blinked a few times as the brown eyes came back. Letting go of the sink he stood up. That seemed to be a mistake as he found himself gripping the sink for support once more. Severus, hooked the other man’s arm around his shoulders to take him to sit against the wall. He slid down the wall with him, sitting next to him.
“Severus, what was that?” Remus finally spoke. Putting his head against the wall he closed his eyes.
Severus shifted to pull a knee up, resting his arm on it. “Just a calming drought. Well, with a kick since you burn through things a bit faster.” He gave a shrug. He happened to leave out he had made it up on the spot. It was his own creation. “Where are your friends? The annoying voices typically follow you around.”
Remus looked over at him. “Detention. You haven’t gone to charms yet have you?” Severus shook his head. “Don’t. Unless you are into different colored hair. They got caught in the act but I don’t know if the spell stuck or not. Knowing Wormtail it did but he’s been jumpy lately.” Remus chuckled darkly for a moment. The wolf was away but it still peeked out just enough. “He tried to stand up to the wolf. Speaking of, why did you give me that?”
“Lily was worried about you, so she came to me.” Severus played with his fingers, not meeting Remus’ eyes. Lily was with James, and yet the sting hadn’t left yet. It still hurt to see them together. “I can’t deny her when she is worried.”
The wolf in the room knew how the sting of the heart felt. For a long time he had had his eyes on someone only to be denied without a second thought. Dating was hard. So eventually he just gave up on it. Remus didn’t know how to comfort Severus though. Did he touch him? Would that be uncomfortable for the other? Did he even want comfort? Hell Remus didn’t know. But he knew one thing, Lily wasn’t going to dump James. “She’s a mother hen.” There was a long pause as he looked over the other. “Thank you. You didn’t have to make it or even care.”
Severus met his eyes with a look of confusion. He hadn’t ever been thanked for his actions when it came to the weird pack of animals. “It is nothing, Lily asked, and so it happened.”
Remus ran a hand through his hair. He saw the confusion on the other’s face and he understood. “The wolf respects you. He’s damn terrified of Lily.” Remus decided to change the topic to get away from that. He didn’t know how to handle those emotions. Granted right now he didn’t think he could handle them. What he did know is he was going to try to put a stop to the others bothering Severus.
“Are you saying you and the wolf are different?” Severus sat up, using the leg that was up to lean on.
The werewolf nodded. “Well in a way. My wolf is a part of me but he’s also his own thing. I can feel him rattling the cage as the moon draws closer. He’s more primal and wild where I’m not.” Remus tried to think about it for a bit. “He is everything i’m not and I’m everything he isn’t. It’s a balance, just a dangerous one.”
Severus nodded a few times. Remus couldn’t figure out of he understood it or even could imagine such a thing. In a way he hoped that he did. He loved his friends but even he didn’t think they fully understood how it was. They did their best to try. Sirius was the only one the wolf didn’t see as a form of prey though, and that in turn did lead to some complications. The wolf didn’t trust Wormtail either. It was complicated at best.
Finally the silence was broken. “You’re wolf is the more primal side then. I can’t fully understand but is that why he can claw his way out then? Why your eyes change every so often to the amber?” Remus nodded. “Right. The draught should keep him relaxed at least till the full moon rises. It’s different this month isn’t it?”
Remus nodded. “It is not only the second one but it’s closer to earth than normal. The change could happen as soon as the sun sets. According to Fenrir that is.” He hadn’t even told James that yet.
“Fenrir Greyback contacted you?” There was a tone of worry Remus picked up in the other’s voice.
Remus nodded. “He does from time to time. Checking up on his creation as it were.” There was a hint of the wolf present. The anger coming forward for a moment before he swallowed it. “It isn’t the first time he’s done it. He broke into my room when I was seven. Then again when I was thirteen. Then he talks and vanished into thin air.” Remus took in a breath before slowly letting it out. “And I hate him even more for it. As if being a werewolf wasn’t punishment enough he likes to remind me where my roots are.”
“Have you told anyone?”
“No. No one cares about werewolves.”
“They should. It’s not your fault.”
Remus sighed a bit. “Doesn’t matter. To them I’m just something that needs to be put down like a frightened animal who poses danger even though they are just trying to survive.”
If he felt strong enough he would have gotten up to pace. He didn’t though and the lack of movement wasn’t helping. While the potion worked the wolf could feel the anger bubbling up. Typically that was fine but this close to the moon it was risking it.
“Are you frightened, Remus?” Severus hadn’t moved from his spot, just sat a little taller. The question he could tell was genuine though. All those years he really had misjudged the slytherin. While James was the main instigator the fact was Remus hadn’t stopped him.
“Terrified,” Remus responded softly. “I’m terrified of what I am constantly. Of the pain that’s always going to come.” He closed his eyes before he started to tear up. “The pain is what terrifies me the most. I don’t want to go through it again.”
Remus kept his eyes closed fighting away the tears. Right up until he felt a hand on his arm. His eyes shot open lookin at the source. Severus has reached out in what he could only guess was comfort. He hadn’t expected that from him. Never in his life did he think Severus would do kind things for him. First the potion then this bit of comfort.
“As far as I know I can’t make anything for the pain to subside it.” He didn’t remove his hand from the others arm. “But I can try to have something for after, as I’m not sure your wolf would take a potion.”
Remus couldn’t believe it as the words left his mouth. With no warning he pulled the other into a hug. Not even his friends had offered to try that. Maybe they weren’t sure how or something along those lines but here Severus was trying to help. He didn’t fully understand why but it was nice.
Now he hasn’t thought about the reaction from the other when he pulled him into a hug. The shock on the man’s face clear as he was stunned. Remus let him go if him. “I’m sorry I should have…” He stammered as he pulled away. “I didn’t hurt you right?”
“No. You didn’t hurt me.” Severus moved to be sitting up once again. “I should go get started on the potion.” He stood quickly. “I’ll have it ready as soon as I can.” With that he left the bathroom in haste.
Remus eventually stood up, leaving the bathroom to get to the common room. Where he was met with the rest of his crew ready for the night. Yet his mind was on a Slytherin that he never really thought about. Huh.