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Phil was woken up by an alarm that he didn’t remember setting. He looked to the other side of the She’s so beautiful. Her deep blue eyes, wispy blonde hair, her button nose. Everything about her is perfect.
Phil stood next to his husband, neither of them talking as they looked through the window at their sleeping daughter. Their daughter. The words still felt foreign when Phil thought them.
Phil had promised Dan early on in their relationship, when they were still just two kids with no idea of the future ahead of them, that he would never love anyone else. But, Phil knew he was going to have to break that rule when he first laid eyes on Amelia.
Dan and him had been in the delivery room when she was born. When Amelia’s mother, Emily, had found out she was pregnant, she immediately started to arrange for the child to get adopted. She was not ready to have a child. She had picked Dan and Phil to interview first. She didn’t need to interview anyone else after that. Emily knew they would be perfect.
Over the last seven months, Dan and Phil had become very close to Emily. Her parents were not accepting of her being pregnant, and the biological father of Amelia had left Emily as soon as he heard she was pregnant. So, naturally, Emily decided it was only best if Dan and Phil were the ones holding her hands as she pushed.
Emily squeezed Phil’s hand so tightly, it was almost numb. He wasn’t complaining, though, because he was probably doing the same thing to her. He was so excited to meet his daughter for the first time. He and Dan made eye contact as the doctor said, “One more big push, Emily!”
Amelia’s cries filled the room and tears clouded Phil’s vision. Before he knew it, Emily was holding Amelia, smiling down at her. Phil looked at Dan and saw how lovingly he looked down at Amelia. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly open. Phil knew that Dan was already in love, just as much as he was.
He looked down at Amelia, completely awestruck. He didn’t even realize how long he’d been staring until Emily chuckled lightly. “Do you want to hold her?” she asked softly. He looked up, startled, and nodded quickly. He put his arms out, gasping slightly as he grabbed her.
She was so tiny. He didn’t know why that surprised him, but it did. She was so delicate and fragile, and he needed to protect her forever. He walked over to the chair, motioning with his head for Dan to sit down next to him.
“I can’t believe it,” Dan said quietly into Phil’s ear after a while of silence. Emily had fallen asleep fairly quickly. After all, it was 2:30 in the morning and she had just given birth. Neither Dan nor Phil could even think about sleeping at this point. All they could think about was the small bundle in front of them.
“What can’t you believe?” Phil asked Dan, turning his head slightly so he could look at him.
Dan smiled down at Amelia as she grasped onto one of his fingers. “We have a daughter now.”
Dan and Phil eventually left the hospital at around noon that day so they could go back home and sleep. They had been up all night, and they needed to be well rested in time to finally bring Amelia home with them.
They didn’t say one thing to each other as they trudged up the stairs, straight into their bed. They laid in bed with their limbs haphazardly thrown on top of the other person, both of them too tired to both getting into a better sleeping position. As soon as their heads hit the pillows, they were out.
bed and saw that it was empty. He smiled as he realized that Dan had probably set the alarm so he would wake up in time to go back to the hospital.
“Good morning, sleepy head,” Dan said as Phil walked out into the kitchen. Dan had already showered and dressed in new clothes.
“It’s four in the afternoon, it’s definitely not morning,” Phil said back. He walked over to the younger boy and wrapped his arms around his waist. Phil laid his chin on Dan’s shoulder and Dan leaned back against Phil.
“Close enough.”
They stood in the middle of the kitchen like that for a moment, just content with the feeling of the other’s body against them.
“Phil, as much as I would love to stay like this forever,” Dan began, turning around in Phil’s embrace, “We have to be back to the hospital soon and you still need to shower.” Dan gave Phil a peck on the lips before pulling away and shoving Phil towards the bathroom.
Once Phil had rid the sleep from his system, he was able to quickly shower and change into clean clothes.
They spent the rest of the evening at the hospital, discussing things with Emily and the adoption agents. They had been told that they would be able to bring Amelia home the next day around noon. They went home at around eight so they could get things ready and get a good night’s sleep.
The next day, they returned home with their newborn daughter in her car seat, sleeping peacefully.
It was such a strange feeling to Phil. He never thought he would be able to do something like this. He never thought he would find the love of his life and be able to have such a life with that person. But here he was.
“Phil, why are you crying?” Dan said, rushing over to his husband and rubbing his back. Dan had just put Amelia down in her crib when he heard light sobs coming from the lounge. As soon as he knew that Amelia was still asleep, he walked out and saw Phil sitting on the couch, head in his hands.
Phil leaned into Dan, and Dan instinctively put his arms around him.
“Are you upset?” Dan asked, perplexed.
Phil let out a laugh, which he could tell surprised Dan. “I’m anything but upset, Dan. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” Phil looked up at Dan who was looking down at him with the fondest smile he had ever seen.
“Me too.”
Later that night, Phil was sat next to Amelia’s crib. Dan was out in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. Phil had told Dan he would put Amelia to sleep while he did the dishes.
Phil could not get enough of her. She was perfect. Phil leaned over the side of the crib and watched as she squirmed around. He reached over to her and ran his hand over he thin hair. She looked up at him through her thick lashes, blinking rapidly.
“I love you so much, Amelia.” Phil knew that she couldn’t possibly understand what he was saying, but he still thought that she would somehow know. “I promise, I will always be here for you,” he said, barely a whisper as she was starting to drift off. “Amelia, you’re perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.”
Phil kept rambling to her, continuing to rub her head as she fell asleep.
Phil didn’t realize how long he had just been staring down at her until he heard shuffling behind him. He turned around and saw Dan, leaning against the doorframe. Light from the hallway made Dan nothing but a silhouette. He walked towards Phil once he had been noticed, and Phil could now see the faint smile on his lips.
“How long have you been standing there?” Phil asked quietly, still slightly in a daze.
“A few minutes.” Dan kneeled over the crib next to Phil. “She really is all we could have ever asked for.” Phil nodded and lightly took Dan’s hand in his own.
They sat there for a few more minutes until Dan stood up and pulled Phil with him.
They had put Amelia’s crib in their room, so they only had to walk a few more steps before they were both able to lay on the bed and get a little bit of sleep.
Phil knew that raising a baby was going to be a challenge. He knew that kids were hard, and teenagers were even harder. That didn’t make him want them any less, however, because he knew that he could do it. Because every time he looked into Amelia’s beautiful eyes, he knew that he would do anything and everything he could to keep her safe.
He knew that even on days when he found it too hard to handle, he would always have Dan there, and they could go through it together.
Phil used to think it was wrong to love two people. Now he knew that that was not true whatsoever.