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There were definitely some cons to living at Serval Industries, Pietro mused, one of them being the frustrating and completely nonsensical fact that they had one bathroom to share between them. Most days it caused no problems – they worked around one another where possible, with Remy and Pietro often elbowing each other out of the way as they tried to brush their teeth over the same sink – and they'd actually worked out a schedule for who took showers when, but sometimes it drove a rift between the members of X-Factor.
Like now.
Pietro paced up and down the hallway, barely more than a blur to the eyes of anyone who might happen to glance his way, trying to work off his frustration before he did something he would inevitably have to pay for – quite literally. Tonight was his night for using the shower, and, according to Lorna, Remy was in there and had been for almost an hour – and whilst it was agreed that the schedule could be ignored in what they'd dubbed as a 'cleanliness emergency', Pietro highly doubted that was the case here.
Ever since he'd joined X-Factor, he'd butted heads with Remy. He knew it boiled down to a lack of trust – and they didn't particularly like each other as people, if they were both honest – and their similar enjoyment of winding people up wherever possible, and half the time he actually somewhat enjoyed their bickering. It was entertaining, and Remy was good at witty comebacks which Pietro could admire. Lorna had surprising patience when it came to their fights, which could happen at any time and over anything they could find an excuse for, although she'd threatened to crack their heads together if they didn't shut up on more than one occasion.
As well as the bickering, they'd started to find other ways to get under each other's skin – and that was clearly what Remy was doing now. Pietro knew he could quite easily dash off and shower somewhere else, or even refuse to be baited and simply wait for Remy to get bored, but he was far too impatient for waiting and it came down to principle. It wasn't the shower he cared about. It was Remy being an ass, as usual.
He paused in his pacing to hammer on the bathroom door again, knowing it was somewhat immature to pound his fists against the wood like a child throwing a tantrum but not actually caring at this point, and he shouted a stream of swear words and insults at the Cajun on the other side, his words rushing together with the speed of which he spoke. When he lost his patience, he often forgot to slow his words down, resulting in a flurry of sentences that ran into each other and were often hard to understand. At least in this case, the general gist of what he was saying was clear enough to anyone within hearing range.
On the other side of the door, Remy sank lower into the bath and didn't bother to fight the sly little grin that spread across his face. He reached for the glass of wine set within reach on the bathroom floor, and took a leisurely sip, turning the page of his magazine as though there wasn't an angry mutant hammering on the door.
Remy liked Lorna – he always had. She was a feisty one and unpredictable at the best of times, but Remy wouldn't expect anything else, and he was certainly used to being around unpredictable friends and teammates. Hell, he'd tagged along with Logan enough times to be used to anything, really. But Pietro… he didn't exactly trust him, although he didn't really trust anyone these days, but if he put trust issues aside, he knew they were actually somewhat similar. It wasn't that he didn't like him – they weren't best buds or even close to that, but he didn't hate the guy either – but it was just so, so fun to wind him up.
He found any and all excuses to poke and prod at him, and so when this opportunity arose, he wasn't going to pass it up. So he'd settled himself into the generous bathtub, and waited.
And boy, Pietro didn't disappoint.
"Gambit! If you don't get the hell out of there, I'm gonna kick this door down, and I'm gonna shove my foot so far up-," Pietro broke off before he could finish his threat, and he hammered harder on the door. Remy was surprised the door was holding up so well, all things considered. He turned another page, took another sip of wine, and pretended he couldn't hear him. The hammering stopped, and Remy pictured Pietro pacing up and down the hall again, trying to walk off his anger. Yeah, like that would work.
When he heard hurried footsteps, he realised Pietro wasn't pacing at his usual speed, and he cocked his head to one side very slightly as he tried to discern what it was the speedster was actually doing. It was very unlike him to slow down when it wasn't required of him, which clearly meant he was up to something. When the door shuddered, and then burst open, Remy realised he should have guessed Pietro might actually go through with his threat.
"I'm gonna give you five seconds," Pietro hissed, stepping through the doorway, "for you to get the hell out, before I kick your ass." Remy could see the anger lighting up Pietro's eyes, and a voice in the back of his mind told him it might be a good idea to give it up and let it go – but he'd always walked on the dangerous side of life, and he wasn't quite ready to give in just yet.
"Ya know, Pietro…" He drawled lazily, stretching out in the deliciously warm water and making it obvious he had no intention of moving. "If you really can' wait, dere's plenty o' room in here fo' two." He lifted his eyes from his magazine, fixing Pietro with a sly smirk as he quirked an eyebrow. Pietro's eyes narrowed, and Remy could tell he was trying to work out if he was serious or if this was still a trick. He shrugged one shoulder casually, lifting the wine glass to his lips again. "Jus' sayin'."
Pietro wasn't entirely sure how to react. This was clearly a trick, another way to get under his skin and wind him up, and he definitely didn't want to play into Remy's hands any more than he already had. If he walked out now, Remy would win, and that wasn't an option.
"Fine. If you insist." He was still struggling to slow down his speech – but if he was going to call Remy's bluff like this, he needed to get it under control. "I'll take you up on that offer." Pietro held back the smug smirk threatening to cross his face when he picked up on the brief flash of surprise in the Cajun's eyes. Success. He turned slightly, not entirely facing away from Remy but not looking directly at him either, and slowly tugged his Serval Industries hoodie up and over his head.
Remy couldn't deny his surprise at Pietro's reaction – he certainly hadn't been expecting him to accept his offer like that – but he wasn't entirely disappointed, either. This had evolved into a new game entirely, and one he hadn't played in some time. He actually smiled at the memory of the first time he'd played this game with Logan – 'homosexual chicken', Logan had later called it, after he'd learnt the hard way that Remy would not be beaten. Whilst Remy was known to be quite firmly a lover of the ladies, the truth was he didn't actually care what was in someone's pants – as long as he was in them, that's all he cared about.
Pietro's t-shirt had risen up as he'd tugged the hoodie up, revealing a flash of skin and the smooth curve of his back. Remy took a sip of wine, and shamelessly enjoyed the view. The garment fell to the floor at Pietro's feet, and he tugged off his boots, sparing a glance over at Remy as his hands hesitated on the hem of his shirt. Remy guessed he was wondering just how far he would have to go before things would get awkward and Remy would leave – and so he put on his best poker face to keep Pietro guessing.
"What's wrong, Pietro?" He tossed the magazine down onto the bathroom floor, no longer needing to keep up the pretence of reading it. "You shy? Don' be. Remy practically lived wit' Logan fo' a long time, an' he has a bigger aversion to clot'es dan Remy does." Now he smirked a little, letting his eyes travel up the length of Pietro's body, making sure he saw the action. "Ain' not'in' Remy ain' seen befo'."
"Just checking you're not having second thoughts about your offer, that's all." His speech was back under control, which was something. Remy seemed completely unfazed so far, so it was obvious he was going to have to show some skin. He began to lift his shirt – and then he remembered the bathroom door, which still stood open. The last thing he needed was for someone to come looking for him and finding him half-naked with Remy LeBeau. He closed the door and locked it again, amazed that the lock still functioned after he'd kicked it open. Feeling Remy's eyes upon him, he decided to just get it over with, and he yanked his shirt up and over his head, tossing it down on top of his hoodie.
His hands settled on his hips, Pietro risked a glance at Remy, and felt his nerve breaking as he realised Remy seemed perfectly comfortable. Of course he'd made a good point – it wasn't as though Remy was in any way shy himself, and he'd been around enough men to not be bothered by a bare chest. But something in the way Remy was looking at him threw him off balance a little – almost appreciative, like he was enjoying himself.
"Hurry up, eh? De water's gon' be cold by de time you get in." Remy smirked. "T'ought you were s'posed to be fast, eh?" The taunt did the trick – Pietro fought back a scowl and in one fluid motion, his jeans were off and he was stepping into the bath. He hurriedly slid down into the water, noting how Remy sat up a little to make a little more room, and it was only when he'd settled comfortably that Pietro realised Remy wasn't going to move.
He'd called Remy's bluff, only Remy hadn't been bluffing to start with.
Shit.
"Well now… 'bout time." Remy grinned, and Pietro wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face, preferably with a well-aimed fist. Of course he was now painfully aware that he was, in fact, naked in a bath with Remy, who was equally naked.
Awkward.
"What's wrong, Speedy? You look a lil'… uncomfo'table." Remy was still grinning, and it was really starting to irk Pietro, who was still rooted to the spot by the mortifying revelation that he'd really fucked up. "T'ink dis is de longest Remy's ever seen you so still."
"I-," Pietro began, but for the first time in a long, long time, he didn't have anything to come back with. "I'm just… adjusting." He lied, knowing the excuse was so transparent that a blind man could see through it, but it was the best he had. He forced himself to settle back and at least feign comfort, and he focused on how the water was a wonderful temperature and actually felt pretty good. It took almost all of his control to ignore the other man sat opposite him for long enough to loosen up.
"Well, ain' dis nice?" Remy smirked, sitting back comfortably, his eyes fixed on Pietro's. The speedster held his gaze for a long moment, trying to work out how he was going to get through this. "Jus' de two o' us." Remy shifted, and his knee bumped against Pietro's leg, reminding him of the extreme intimacy of their position. To make things worse, Pietro felt a slight flush of embarrassment beginning to creep its way up his neck. He would never live that down if Remy saw it – and Remy's eyes missed nothing. He'd have to distract himself, and Remy with him.
"Nice, sure." He shrugged. "Be nicer if you didn't take up so much room." He fidgeted, making sure his leg knocked into Remy's on purpose. "It's like you've never shared a bath before." Remy actually laughed a little at that.
"Ah… well, see, Logan's a lot shorter dan you, Speedy." He smirked as he watched his words register in Pietro's mind, and he drank in the look of pure, unrestrained surprise on the speedster's face.
"I…" Pietro trailed off, and then shook his head. "… don't think I want to know." Remy grinned, taking another sip of wine – and to Pietro's surprise, he sat up a little more, giving him some more room. A brief flash of hope went through Pietro's mind as he wondered if Remy would finally get up and give in, but it was squashed when Remy settled back once more. After a moment or two of silence had passed, Pietro realised he was probably going to have to make the first move, and accept defeat. He hesitated only because he would never hear the end of it from the Cajun, and it would raise questions with his half-sister that he really didn't want to answer, but he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take before his nerve broke entirely.
He was about to resign himself to a future of teasing remarks and curious looks from Lorna when the lock clicked open, and the bathroom door began to open.
"Sorry, Remy, I just need to-," Lorna swept into the room without hesitation, and if Pietro hadn't been horrified that he'd been caught in such a compromising situation he might have wondered how many times Lorna had walked in on Remy in the bath or the shower as if it were perfectly natural. She stopped as her eyes found the two men settled in the bath together, and both eyebrows lifted in surprise. "-brush my teeth."
"Go righ' ahead, cherie." Remy smiled warmly at her, draining the rest of the wine in his glass and acting as though nothing at all was out of place. Lorna glanced between the two of them, her eyes not lingering on Pietro any longer than they needed to, and she took a step back towards the door.
"You know what? It can wait. I'm, uh… clearly interrupting." Before Pietro could even think of something to say – even with his mind working as fast as it did – she'd turned on her heel and hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. There was a moment of tense silence, and then Pietro groaned.
"Great. She thinks we're having sex."
"You act like dat's a bad t'ing." Remy grinned, and he laughed when Pietro openly glared at him. "She's probably jus' t'inkin' how all de bickerin' an' fightin' makes sense now. All dat UST jus' waitin' to be acted on." Despite himself, Pietro was curious.
"UST?"
"Unresolved Sexual Tension, Speedy." Remy winked, and Pietro felt heat flare up in his cheeks – and hoped it wasn't visible. "Oh, don' act like you hadn' noticed."
"I don't know what you're talking about." He had to make his exit – and quick. Stubbornly avoiding Remy's eyes, he stood up and stepped out of the bath, moving as fast as he could without it being obvious he was running away, and he snagged a towel from the rack and hurriedly tied it around his waist.
"Leavin' so soon?" Remy grinned from his position in the bath, still completely unfazed by the entire experience.
"Shut up Remy." He gathered up his clothes and his boots, and he bolted for the door and hurried away to his room, telling himself he hadn't heard Remy laugh before the bathroom door had shut behind him.
--
The next morning, Pietro wandered into the kitchen to fix himself some breakfast and noticed that a note had been attached to their list of 'Shared Bathroom Rules', which was pinned to a small notice board that Lorna had insisted be put up for such things. Fearing the worst, Pietro strode over – and sighed. Pinned underneath 'Please put the toilet seat DOWN' (and 'down' had been underlined several times since the rules had gone up, he noted) was a brand new rule – 'No sex in shared bathrooms!'
"Guess we'll jus' have to keep it restricted to de bedroom, eh Speedy?" Shit. He hadn't seen Remy sat at the table.
"Shut up, LeBeau."