Chapter Text
The Book of Obito
Meeting the Uzumaki
He had expected his first prank to lead to screaming, or the shinobi running around trying to catch him, or something. Instead, a crowd of mostly redheads, with a smattering of lighter hair colour in the sea of deep tan and dark skin, seemed to have been judging the resulting paint bomb he had set off in the middle of the market. Mutters of ‘time-delayed’ and ‘impressive colour choice’ were floating in the air.
Slowly, violet and grey eyes turned to him and assessed him from where he stood, locked in place by the vice-like grip on his shoulder. The redhead man holding him hadn’t even budged when Obito tried to make his getaway. Alright. Maybe selecting Little Uzushio to launch his pranking career had been a bad idea. But it had been close enough to the compound that his relatives were bound to hear and see it...
A redheaded woman, maybe the same age as that blonde jounin Obito always saw running around with the Hatake bastard, approached. Super long red hair waved behind her, violet eyes wide with delight. A grin filled her face, “That was great.” She glanced over her shoulder to the wall and handful of unfortunate souls who were now covered in neon green paint. They should really hurry up and remove the paint before the glue he had mixed in set, but they seemed more intrigued with figuring out his method than cleaning up. “I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen time delayed paint bombs before. What do you think, Kensuke-chan?”
The man tightened his grip on Obito’s shoulder just enough to make the Uchiha wince. Obito’s hopes of making a grand escape looked dashed. “It was certainly… interesting, Kushina-hime.”
Shit.
Obito swallowed and considered the situation he found himself in more carefully. The woman was Uzumaki Kushina. Konoha’s very own Red Death and heir to the Uzumaki clan. Rumour had it she once faced off against a better part of two Iwa patrols and completely annihilated them.
Time to go.
He nodded to himself, drawing the attention of both Uzumaki, before pointing to the left and saying loudly, “Oh look!” and bolted in the split second Kensuke’s grip faltered. He got all of six steps before something caught him around the ankle and held fast. He barely had the time to register that something was around his leg before tripping, catching only a quick glance of a... chain as he went down.
Obito expected shouts, or something. What he got was laughter. Loud and rambunctious and cheery. Black sandals came into his field of view from where his face had met the ground in a hurry. His nose was smarting. Strong, mildly ink stained, hands helped him up, brushing off the dirt that gotten into his hair.
“Mah, what’s the rush, kiddo?” Kushina patted him on the head, messing up his hair, completely unruffled by the chaos Obito had caused her clanmates. He could vaguely hear shouts of surprise. The glue was setting.
He blinked at her. “Shouldn’t you be yelling at me like all the other adults do?” He blurted out before his mind caught up with him.
It earned him another laugh. “Why would I do that? That was some ingenious pranking. Could you imagine if you had used glue that dried instantly? Or what if you added some seals into it to make the paint change colour?” The light in Kushina’s eyes brightened, if possible, even further. “Could you imagine getting the old man with it?”
“Old man?” Obito frowned at her.
“Yeah. The Hokage.” Kushina continued, arms crossed as she considered the idea, completely obvious to Obito’s mind coming to a grinding halt. Pranking the Hokage. She wasn’t serious, was she? This was only his first, and quite possibly last, prank and it wasn’t even to get the Hokage’s attention. Or the attention of the ‘crazy’ Uzumaki, either. But no Uchiha were running up to catch him either, so this definitely hadn't gone according to plan.
“We’d need to refine the deployment system. Don’t want to be anywhere near him when it goes off.” Kushina continued, nodding to herself. “Could do that with seals easily. Adapt it further and it could be very useful in a battle. Maybe… shuriken instead of paint? That would be expensive to make, you know?”
Oh gods. She was. Obito couldn’t figure out whether he should stop her or join her. Violet eyes settled on him again, considering. “What’s your name kiddo?”
“Uchiha Obito.”
There it was again, that brilliant smile that was blinding and reassuring. “Nice to meet you, Obito-chan. I’m Uzumaki Kushina.” Her handshake was firm.
“Not that is isn’t heartwarming and shit, but I’m pretty sure Kayame-sama is now glued to a stall.” Kensuke interrupted with a deadpan. “And you are going to be late for tea with Mito-sama, Kushina-hime.”
Kushina brightened and almost bounced on the spot, “Damn, Obito-chan! You got Kayame-chan? Nice! Not just anyone can surprise her.” Obito flushed with the praise.
“Yeah. The fact she’s our Clan Head is clearly irrelevant.” Kensuke added without pause.
“Stop being a wet blanket, Ken-chan! That was an awesome prank and you know it!”
This, as Obito learned over time, was pretty much status quo for the Uzumaki.