Chapter Text
How does one get into the "villainy" industry? It seems like an absurd question; most people assume that villains come into it naturally, that it's something that just happens for them, that falls out of the sky directly into their laps. They think that a villain just knows from a young age that the traditional lifestyle isn't for them, that there's something dark and insatiably angry deeply seated in their heart, and because of it, they wander off the path and make a home for themselves in their own hatred.
But those are high expectations to have of a child who just doesn't really fit in. Honestly, what sort of double-standard is it to show Timmy how to graduate school, find a wife, have kids and settle into a career until he dies, but then expect someone like Dominik to be a natural entrepreneur and basically build his own business from scratch with the entire world working against him? That's a lot of pressure to place on anyone, but hell if that's not what Dominik did.
So looking around at his lair, freshly staffed with a brand new team of henchmen, Dr. Dominik Vergoldetschnauz couldn't help but openly smile. He brought himself here. He earned this. A lair built like a fortress with an entire team of unquestioning aides and scientists to bring his visions to life, and the brains of the operation, the boss, the Man in the Chair, was Dominik Vergoldetschnauz. It had been years, hell, almost decades in the making before it was even constructed. After gunfights and fistfights and covert operations and bombings, after losses and failures and suffering the disfiguration that inspired his name, after learning how to steel his heart and still keep up the facade of having a family life...all of it was for this. This. This didn't just "fall into his lap". He deserved this. Standing in the middle of this barefaced industrial tower with the bustle of busy henchmen and buzzing equipment all around him, Dominik spread his arms and breathed in deeply. This is what the top feels like, he thought. This is what it feels like to win .
Having fully absorbed the moment, Dominik let his arms fall and turned on his heel to take a spot at the top of a short set of stairs to address the room.
"Excuse me, everyone! Hello! Excuse me!"
At the sound of his voice, the ambience of shuffling feet, soft conversation and the clanking of tools subsided. In a moment, every pair of eyes in the room was on him, waiting for whatever came next. It was intoxicating, and he hadn't even given an order yet.
"Hello!" he said again...and was met with more silence. "I'm not going to bite," he laughed. "Let's try this one more time, shall we? Hello!"
The response was quiet, timid, but a few brave souls managed a cheerful "Hello!" in response.
"That's better, come on," Dominik said, waving his arms to encourage a little engagement. "Hello!"
"Hello!" The room was unanimous this time, apparently having finally decided that speaking directly to their new overlord was kosher.
"Hello! Hello, everyone! Welcome to your first official day on the job! If you are here, it means you were personally, hand-selected by me. So give yourselves a round of applause!" Dominik watched as he clapped along with everyone, the tension dissipating. "That's right, congratulations!"
As the applause ebbed, he looked around the room, wishing he were any good at learning faces. Or names, for that matter. There was no use being too hard on himself about it; one of the defining qualities of a villain, for better or worse, was self-importance. But even so...he wanted this to be different. For everyone involved. Call it branding, but Vergoldetschnauz Enterprises was not going to be the slave-driving dictatorship that every other villain in the world was running. Sure, he wanted to be recognized as a fearsome authority figure who may end your life at the smallest offense, but he didn't want his subordinates to hate coming to work every day. Unhappy employees equal a failing business, and Dominik was done with failure.
"You don't know how happy I am to see you all," he continued, "or how excited I am to be working with you. I have an incredible vision for the future, but I can't get there without every single one of you. So! That being said, there are a few rules I want to set down straight out of the gate.
"First! This is not your typical henchman gig! You are not just a number; you are not disposable. I don't want to see any mistakes, but I especially don't want to see any mistakes born out of a fear of approaching me. If an accident happens and any of you were to die, that would create a lot of extra work for me, and I don't have time for that. So if that is at all avoidable by coming to me first, I highly encourage you to do so.
"Second! This is not your typical henchman gig!" he smiled, pausing to allow anyone who wished to acknowledge his humor to have a short laugh -- a few took him up on it. "Your hours are 9 AM to 5 PM. This is non-negotiable, there will be no overtime. When that buzzer goes off at the end of the day, you are to stop what you're doing and exit the building. To ensure this happens, I've set a timer on all computers and machinery. At 5 PM, all equipment will be powered down. So make sure to save your work!
"And lastly... well." He paused again, deliberately making eye contact with a few scattered people in his audience. "Raise your hand if you want to make a difference!" Hands shot up. "If you want to make your mark!" More hands. "If you want to have a lasting impact on this god-forsaken hell planet," some scattered applause, "in hopes that someday it will either be a better place or wiped off the face of the universe!" The whole room was cheering now, and Dominik laughed, basking in the energy he had created.
"That's why we're here, all of us! I have incredible plans, and I won't stop, I cannot be stopped until I see them grow to fruition! If at any point you find yourselves at odds with what we're doing here, I highly encourage you to come speak to me. I want all of you to be happy with what we're accomplishing. Proud, even. Will you make that promise to me, here, now, that you will come to me with any issues you have?" He looked around again. "Yes, let me hear you! Will you promise me that?"
The crowd replied with an affirmative, seeming to grow more relieved by the second. Henchman work was thankless and unforgiving, and Dominik knew, if nothing else, that an open-door policy would put many of them at ease.
"Very good," he said, stepping down from his place at the top of the stairs. "Carry on then, and I look forward to getting to know each of you!"
-----
A villain's secret lair is his home away from home. No, scratch that -- a villain's secret lair IS his home. Everything else is temporary, liminal, killing time until he can return. And Dominik's first night away from his lair, now that he had one, was excruciating. Sitting across the table from his wife and kids had never been so... boring. As Barbara chatted with the kids about their day at school, Dominik's mind raced with plans and projects, filling every corner of the building with any and every sort of high-tech death machinery. Maybe one wall for news articles about whatever destruction and chaos he got around to causing. That would be nice, a way to recognize his accomplishments and boost the morale of his henchmen. Maybe turn it into the breakroom...
"Honey?"
Dominik blinked himself back to reality. "Yes?"
"Did you hear that? Lizzie got an A on her science project."
"Oh! That's fantastic, sweetheart! I'm so proud of you." He smiled warmly at Lizzie. As disengaged as he was feeling, he really was proud of her for this. Especially for doing well in science; she really was his daughter. But even as Lizzie grinned back up at him, he could feel Barbara's stare. It wasn't one of contempt, only concern. And he hated that. He would almost rather it be contempt, at least that was something he could work with. But the only way to alleviate concern was to spend time comforting her, and he simply didn't have the patience for that today. He could already hear the conversation playing out: her telling him how far away he seemed at dinner. Him telling her he was just thinking about work. Her telling him that he could at least pretend to care about the rest of the family. Him telling her that he did, but today was a big day and he was a bit preoccupied. That he was tired and just wanted to go to bed. Her taking offense, him having to reassure her that he loved her and he would be in a better mood tomorrow.
He wasn't tired though, he just wanted to pass the time faster. But of course, sleeping is impossible when passing the time is all you want to do. The anticipation of waking up, dressing in his new uniform and going to work at his own lair was almost too much to handle. But despite the tossing and turning, he leapt out of bed the next morning, fresh-faced and as ready to take on the day as he would be after a full 8 hours.
Of course, he arrived a little early. He needed to make sure that everything was ready for the beginning of the workday, and maybe that didn't require three hours of preparation, but the time still flew by. The simple act of sitting in his lair put his soul at ease, and he felt like he could finally breathe.
The buzzer sounded and the doors swung open. 9 AM on the dot, every henchman and scientist was present and at their workstation in seconds. It was perfect, flawless. Dominik couldn't have imagined a better-oiled machine. It stirred his cold, hardened heart to witness such diligence, such dedication to his cause. He let a few minutes pass to allow everyone to settle in before he took his place again at the top of the steps.
"Good morning!" he said, and waited. This time, the silence acted as a cue and everyone quickly replied with an enthusiastic, "Good morning!" Dominik smiled. "I want to first thank all of you for your hard work yesterday. The lair is coming along beautifully, it's truly everything I've ever dreamed of." He clapped, and his audience followed suit.
"Today, I'll be talking to a select few of you about a small side project I'm hoping to take on. The rest of you will continue setup and will be brought in on this project as it becomes less of a nebulous idea and more of a solid plan with a blueprint. In the meantime, does anyone feel unsure of what their task is for the day?"
Silence. Good. He thought not.
"Wonderful, let's get to it then!"
-----
Hypnosis is an interesting concept. How does one, over the course of just a few seconds, break through another's wall of consciousness to access the malleable, suggestible psyche underneath? The snap of a finger, the utterance of a word, and your most ardent enemy is tap dancing on command. Tap dancing is just an example, of course. Hypnosis would allow for a great many things to happen that usually wouldn't. Hypnosis could be used to, say, embarrass a playground bully in front of all of his friends. It could be used to, for example, convince your spouse that you're not there, so you can get some peace and quiet for a whole ten consecutive minutes. Or it could be used, maybe, to coerce a governor to sign a few errant bills into law that he, perhaps, otherwise would not.
What a provocative idea.
But the science of it is wishy-washy, at best. As Dominik sat around the table with his most adept scientists, he was beginning to feel like this one was leading to a dead end.
"Didn't The Jackal do some hypnosis thing a couple years ago?" he asked, exasperated.
"Yes sir, technically, sir," a scientist replied, "but the target suffered brain death after approximately three and a half minutes of being affected."
"Hmm," Dominik sighed. "Well, that's certainly not enough time for what I had in mind. Is there any way to at least get our hands on that technology so we have some direction?"
The table was quiet. After several seconds, another scientist spoke up. "Well as you know, sir, The Jackal was neutralized after his last operation. All of his equipment was destroyed."
Dominik huffed loudly, rolling his eyes. "Does no one appreciate the artistry that goes into developing that level of technology? How depressing." He leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. His first operation out of his new lair was stagnating before his eyes.
"...I have an idea, sir," a henchman said quietly, "if I may, sir."
Dominik sat up straight again, seeking out the face of whoever had spoken. "Yes, please do!"
"Well," the henchman said, "the VDA have records of everything The Jackal ever did." He stopped, waiting to be cut off or shut down. When that didn't happen, he took a breath and continued. "If we could somehow get a hold of those records, we would likely find something about his hypnosis ray."
The henchman was tense, clearly anticipating rejection. But Dominik knew he was right; this was their best shot. "Very well," he said, nodding. "Let's organize a low-key infiltration, concentrated on The Jackal's operations and weapons inventory." He waved a hand to disperse the meeting, but then, "Wait--" and the commotion stopped instantly. He really could get used to that. "On second thought, while we're in there, let's collect as much information as possible about every weapon they have on record."
"Yes sir," the group replied unanimously.
As they shuffled back to their workstations, Dominik pointed at the henchman who had offered the suggestion. "You! Come see me, please." The color drained from the henchman's face as he froze mid-step and turned to face his boss. It hadn't been his intention to scare the guy, but it was undeniably satisfying to know that he could. He let the tension linger for a moment, savoring it, before offering the henchman a reassuring smile. "What's your name?"
"Cooper, sir."
"Well done today, Cooper. Keep up the good work."
"Thank you, sir."
He dismissed Cooper and spun his chair around to face out over the rest of his lair, congratulating himself on the great job he did selecting his team. This was very promising. Just like that, his first big scheme was set into motion, and Dominik decided this had to be the happiest he'd ever been.
-----
It's easy to assume that all villains crave attention. After all, why put the effort into creating massive, intricate weapons or bombs that level everything in a 3-mile radius if you don't want people to notice you? It's true that some villains thrive on worldwide recognition for every evil deed they commit. And you'll never be named the ruler of the world if no one knows who you are.
But Dominik had decided that there were certain types and levels of attention, some of which he appreciated, others he could very well do without.
For example, there's the attention he received at home from his family. This is acceptable attention, sometimes wanted, sometimes not, but overall positive. His wife loves him, his children adore him, and the only reason he shunned their attention from time to time is that sometimes a person needs to be alone. To recover.
Then there's the attention he received from his subordinates. This was his favorite sort of attention because he could call it off whenever he wants with no repercussions. His henchmen won't corner him when he's alone and ask him if he wants to talk about it. His scientists won't give him an attitude because he dismissed them without a hug or a kiss. When he speaks, they listen. When he makes a request, it's fulfilled in the shortest possible amount of time. His team respects him, and that by itself is the best feeling in the world.
As far as attention from the media goes... well, Vergoldetschnauz Enterprises was still in its startup phase, so he hadn't had to deal with that just yet. And to tell the truth, he wasn't sure how he felt about it. On the one hand, seeing the public's reaction to destruction he caused was exhilarating. And he did have that idea for a break room wallpapered with newspaper clippings. But on the other hand, part of him felt that getting that sort of widespread attention was a hindrance. It affected your element of surprise and occasionally instigated a few incredibly nosey people to try and insert themselves into whatever operation you're currently working on -- either to stop you or to help. Either way, no thanks.
But the attention he was receiving at the moment was a little more complicated than any of that, neither wanted nor unwanted. He supposed it was necessary, and he shouldn't mind it. He was confident in himself and his team, but after infiltrating the VDA's records and collecting everything they had about The Jackal's hypnosis ray, plus a few morsels of information about other weapons, they officially had their eye on Vergoldetshnauz Enterprises. Maybe they didn't know it by its name, maybe they didn't know Dominik, but they were looking. And that made Dominik uneasy.
At home, he had celebrated the infiltration with Barbara and a bottle of champagne. Now, standing over a few of his henchmen at their workstations as they fought to stamp out the intruder in their own system, he wished he had something a little stronger. He knew he should leave them to do their job, that he should try and get used to this sort of thing happening. The more successful he is, the more interest he'll generate and the more attempts there will be to bring him down. But he couldn't help himself, he physically could not tear his eyes away.
"What's taking so long?" he sighed, hating the words even as they left his mouth. He already knew the answer, and it didn't matter anyway. The amount of time it took to stop the infiltrator was irrelevant, what was important was that they didn't accomplish anything while they were in there, and that they would never be permitted to re-enter. "I'm sorry," he corrected himself, "I know you're trying. Do you think we're close, at least?"
"Nearly there," a henchman answered, "just a few more lines...and..."
BUUUUUZZZZZZZ
The screen went dark, and all around him, Dominik's men began filing out of the building. He'd completely lost track of time. He could have shut the timer off, just this once; this was important! The henchman looked up at him, clearly as startled as he was, neither of them wanting to ask the question.
"Did we..."
"Yes, I think so sir," the henchman said quickly.
"How sure are you?"
"...99%, sir."
"Just 99%?" Dominik could have exploded. Giving the VDA a 1% shot at anything was a huge mistake.
"Yes sir," the henchman replied, trying to cover up the quiver in his voice. "...Would you like me to stay longer, sir? Just to make sure?"
Dominik closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his golden nose. "No, no," he sighed. "Go home. If you say we got them, I'm inclined to believe you." Besides, even if he had run to switch everything back on, all the VDA would need were those few seconds unmonitored to wreak utter catastrophe.
"Are you sure, s--"
"Yes! Yes. I'm sorry, please. You're dismissed, thank you for your hard work today."
The henchman hesitated a moment longer before collecting himself and leaving Dominik to stare at the black computer screen in silence.
Whatever happened next was completely up to fate.
-----
The day had finally arrived. Dominik stood in the middle of an opulent room gazing contemptuously down at the governor, secured in front of his desk by two particularly beefy henchmen. The governor wore a stoic expression as he tried to jerk himself away from their grip.
"Now, now, governor," he laughed. "There's no need to get worked up. We're not here to harm you." Dominik took a step closer and bent over to be eye level with him, inches from his face. "Pinky promise." He jammed a pinky up between their faces, just to make the governor flinch. This had always been his favorite part: the intimidation. He stared at the governor for a few more seconds before straightening up again.
"Cooper! Bring in the Hypnobeam!"
The door flung open and a complicated-looking contraption was rolled into the room, a glowing proboscis focusing on the governor's forehead.
"The paperwork!" Another henchman entered the room holding a manila folder which he promptly handed over.
Dominik dropped the folder on the desk in front of the governor. "Your autograph?" he requested, flashing a winning smile. "Pretty please?"
"Go fuck yourself," the governor replied.
"Well, that's not very polite, is it?" Dominik tsked. "That's too bad, but I can't say I expected anything else. That, as you might have guessed, is where this comes in!" He gestured sweepingly at his Hypnobeam. After weeks of building and testing, rebuilding and testing some more, the Hypnobeam had been sent off to the front lines with an impressive 92.78% rate of accuracy. The idea was that the whole glowing proboscis bit shot a paralyzing ray to keep the subject perfectly still with their eyes open, while a strobe above it flashed in a particular pattern that induced hypnosis. Very simple, really, once the design was decided upon, and Dominik could not have been more proud. "Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated, governor."
As he fiddled with a few of the knobs and adjusted the beam to a more precise height, one of his henchmen hurriedly approached him. It was Cooper, and whatever he had to say was obviously urgent, but he hadn't gotten a word of it out before the rest of the henchmen were at full attention, focused on someone in the doorway.
Dominik turned to see what all of this was about, and was immediately struck by the sight of...who was that? An intern? A custodian? How could someone in a sweater like that get a job in a place like this ?
But before Dominik could open his mouth to ask any questions, a single shot was fired and the room began to fill up with smoke. His Hypnobeam had been destroyed in the blink of an eye, and was now sparking angrily from the bullet hole. "Get out!" he shouted, pointing Cooper towards the door. "Yes sir!" Cooper nodded, and began quickly ushering the rest of the henchmen out of the room.
The asshole in the terrible sweater had, for some reason, taken it upon himself to engage a couple of Dominik's henchmen in hand-to-hand combat. And he was actually...quite good. And then it hit him; this man was no intern, and it was high time for Dominik to get the hell out of there. As he slipped quietly out of the room, he caught the man -- the agent's -- eye, and could have sworn he saw him wink.
What an insulting, cheeky, seductive , unfairly attractive , ridiculous thing to do, in the middle of a fight no less. In an ugly sweater, no less. Dominik couldn't decide which was more offensive. He was sure, as he rushed along his escape route, that if this Ken doll reject ever crossed paths with him again, he would suffer for it. And, were it to happen, he'd better at least wear something he doesn't mind dying in.