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A temple once warm with prayers and hope now lay cold in its proscription. Hues of sterling and blue painted the desolate sanctuary with the colors of the night. Constellations drifted across the ceiling like the most beautiful of mosaics. Trimming the walls and columns was ornate silver filigree, only lending to its empyreal beauty. It was marvelous in its day, back when the voices of the pious would fill the air like a heavenly choir. The mortals could not come to this place but their voices rang out loud nonetheless. It was sacred in its solitude; answering the devout and the desperate alike. Their pleas for justice and protection flowed like a river through the sanctuary. In response, the angel granted them the courage to fight, the wisdom of battle, and watched man rise from the darkness with heroes leading the charge. They have come so very far.
In the middle of the temple lay a lone figure with celestial wings betrodden by despair. A profound sadness left the once genial temple weighted. There was nothing but damning silence left in the wake of his condemnation. Stricken from holiness, all the mortal inflection was left muted to him. Faintly, he could hear their cries. But it was as if his head was being held under water. Oh, how it hurt to be separated from their prayers. As time passed, it got quieter and quieter. His fall was a torturous and slow one. It was a punishment in its own right to hear them fade to grave, hopeless whispers. Who knew heaven could be so cruel?
There was one mortal he latched on to. One being Dick could hear as clear as day, if only because the fallen has become intertwined with him. Jason was marked by his presence the moment Dick graced his dreams so daringly. After witnessing the angel in person and being left with the memories, he became all the clearer to hear. Dick would sit and listen to the mortal speak to his sacred animal nearly every day. The conversations started out excited and the boy would sit for hours talking to any robin he found. The enthusiastic way Jason's face would light up and the exaggerated motion of his arms as he spoke eased the hollowness in Dick's chest. But over time, the conversations grew shorter and angrier. Few and far between did Jason seek out the birds to speak. It hurt the fallen but it was his penance, he supposed. Then, it stopped. Never before has he felt so frozen. It was a new sensation for Dick. New and painful. Suddenly, a loud voice echoed through the hallowed grounds. It was filled to the brim with rage and heartache.
"You said I wasn't alone! To talk to the robins and you'll be there! You liar!"
The disgraced angel rose sluggishly, as if shackles fought to hold him down. Vivid eyes looked to the cloudy window where he watched the mortals once upon a time. There stood the figure of Jason. Dick could see the way red rimmed his eyes and tears lined his cheeks. His handsome features now matured into adulthood were twisted in anguish. Deep inside, the fallen felt something yank and burn at the sight. He didn't know what this strange feeling was, but it hurt. It made him desperate to wipe away that which was harming the mortal. Jason did not deserve this misery.
Driven by these new emotions, Dick rose up fully and approached the image. One hand reached out as if it could comfort the human. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and sifted through the maze of Jason's mind to find what brought this on. It has been months since he spoke to a robin, why now? That's when he saw it. The fights with the Bat growing in intensity, strained relations, and finally, the culmination of growing aggressions: his cape and mask taken from him as if he had no say in the matter. Dick knew why he ached so deeply. Being a hero was the highlight of Jason's life. Having it taken from him by the very man he adored tore him apart. Filled him with rage and self-doubt. Dick felt that strange feeling burn within him again. He'd heard of their fights through Jason months ago but he had no idea they grew so intensely. What a horrible savior he's turned out to be.
"Well, where are you? Where?!"
That dragged the fallen back to reality. Jason's voice broke with heartache as he screamed into the air. His body trembled fiercely under the strain of his emotions. Dick couldn't stand within his temple any longer. The flight was quick, the blink of an eye and he was in the air above the mortal. There was no divine intervention to slow him down this time. Gently, he descended and looked at the broken man for a moment. Then, he spoke up softly.
"Jason..."
Immediately, the mortal turned to look at him. There was shock and disbelief on his face. Something bright shone for a heartbeat before it was crushed under his anger. His words were spat out with venom on every syllable.
"Oh, now you show up."
Dick cast his eyes to the ground. He deserved that. That and so much more. Still, he wanted Jason to know the truth. Wanted to prove to him that he cared.
"Jason, I wasn't lying."
He took a few steps closer and held out a hand like he wanted to touch the man. But, Jason took two steps back and folded his arms across his chest. It was a clear sign that Dick's approach was unwelcome. With a sad look, he dropped his hand. Something in Jason's face cracked but he was quick to cover it up with more rage-filled words.
"Really? Cus I sure as fuck felt alone for the past two years. Two. Years. I've been talking to those damn birds for two years and for what? Nothing!"
The fallen had nothing to say to that. Truly, he forgot that time passed so much more slowly to humans than to immortals. Two years was nothing to Dick but everything to Jason. It was his own ignorance that let this wound fester in the one he cared for. He was at fault yet again. Suddenly, Jason's face crumbled. The effort to maintain his facade of wrath was too much under the crushing weight of depression. Dick watched the tears fall silently. With every drop shed, he felt a little more unholy. Oh, what Hell he deserved for causing this beautiful man so much suffering. All he wanted to do was help him yet all he did was hurt. Was this what damnation felt like?
"Why...Why would you save me just to leave me alone like that? You were there since I was a kid and then...you were gone."
Jason's voice was wracked with agony. His whisper cracked as he choked on his sobs. Overcome by grief, Dick swept forward and engulfed him in a hug. His wings came to wrap around the mortal to comfort him. This was strange territory for the fallen. Never before did he have to deal with this stabbing in his chest or this desire to sooth a human. He worked on instinct as his hands rubbed Jason's back. In turn, Jason wrapped his arms around the fallen and squeezed so tightly, had he been human he would have been in pain. Dick felt the tears hit the bare skin of his shoulder. It burned like sacrilege.
"I wasn't ignoring you, Jason, and I certainly never left. You could speak to the robins and I would listen, but I couldn't answer you."
That's how it always had been. A temple of secrecy to listen and answer prayers but never directly respond. He assumed Jason would understand the silence. How little he knew about the intimacy of humans and their need for closeness. Jason clenched his hands as he shuddered and cried. His fingers dug uselessly into the fallen's golden skin, never so much as scratching him. They stood that way as Dick continued to do his best at comforting the distraught mortal. Finally, Jason pulled in a shaky breath and stepped back. Dick instantly missed the warmth. Cold was foreign to him until his fall. Now it was his only companion.
"I'm sorry. I..."
Dick just held up a hand and shook his head. Jason was not the one at fault here.
"There's nothing to be sorry about. The beautiful thing about you mortals is the intensity and complexity of your emotions. Angels cannot feel the way you do."
He hoped the explanation would help Jason to understand his actions a little better. Curiosity fought through the despair on the hero's face. It caused Dick to smile just a little.
"Really? How do you feel?"
It was a good question. Humanity likes to assume angels to be wholly pious and loving but they were not so. It was against divine writ to impart such sacred knowledge to mortals. But, Dick has already damned himself once. Why stop now?
"Angels...they feel one thing at a time and minutely at that. They have a limit on what they can feel. To develop emotions outside of that range is to become tainted."
The word twisted something ugly in his mouth. Another strange feeling rose up in him. It was darker, more pernicious in nature. He did not like it. It felt too much like perdition to the former seraph.
"It's one reason they're barred from interacting with mortals. You are all so full of life and sensations. It's almost infectious. They are not to feel lust, wrath, greed and the likes. Those 'Deadly Sins', as you call them. But most importantly, they are not to feel love. They may care for mortals - and most do - but never love them."
His voice grew quieter as he spoke. That nasty little feeling stabbed sharply into him again as he thought over how unmoved the divine was. How could they be so far separated from the ones who cherished them? The mortals gave their all to one another and even to the unknown, yet he was to be damned for returning that feeling? If to love is to be mortal, then he will take his descent as a gift. Jason merely looked on in fascination and confusion. Dick could see the gears turning in his head as he processed it all. At least it's distracted him from his own heartbreak.
"But why? Love is a good thing."
The earnest way he said it brought that somber smile back to Dick's lips. The passion within Jason was so blinding, should Dick cast him to the heavens he would surely become a star sign to light up the darkness.
"Love clouds the judgement. It drives angels from their stations and causes them to break the sacred rules. It draws them to Earth."
A moment of silence reigned as Jason further digested the information. Pieces were clicking together and finally, he figured out what's been bugging him so fiercely about the angel's speech.
"Wait, why do you keep referring to angels like that? Like...like you're not one?"
It was a slow inquiry as if he was afraid of offending the holy being. Or, perhaps he was more afraid of the answer. All the same, Dick responded.
"I'm not. Not anymore."
It left a bitter taste on his tongue to declare his fall. Jason was overcome with shock at the admission.
"What?"
Dick sighed softly and looked at the sky. Now he understood how many mortals found it hard to have faith when the heavens seemed so far away.
"I broke one of the sacred rules. You were fated to die that night. I intervened."
He spoke in a clinical tone but it could not exactly hide the sadness within him. With every feather lost, his heart shattered a little more. When he continued, his voice broke from the pain for the very first time.
"I...traded my divinity for your life."
Jason sucked in a sharp breath as he stared at the fallen angel. That starry feather in his pocket seemed so much heavier now that he knew the truth. The guilt burned him like a brand. Knowing that this beautiful being gave up everything for him was unbelievable. How could he? Jason was just one in billions!
"You...no. Why? I'm not worth that!"
The disbelief that colored his tone was almost heartbreaking. Did he truly think himself unworthy? Dick wanted to erase all doubts from him. He missed his status amongst the holy but he didn't regret his actions at all.
"But you are, Jason."
The human shook his head rapidly, like he just couldn't accept that. Like it was so beyond the realm of possibility that he could wipe it away if he denied it enough.
"No, I'm n-'
"You are."
Dick put his hands on Jason's shoulders firmly and looked deep into his bloodshot eyes. When he spoke, it was with the utmost certainty.
"Listen to me. In all my years of existence, I have yet to meet one quite like you. I would gladly shed my wings to save your life a hundred times over."
Time seemed to tick by slowly as Jason stared into those unfathomable blue eyes. They looked positively electric, just like the lightning that arced across his lovely wings. He was overcome with that familiar warmth that he always associated with the angel. What started out as admiration developed into so much more for the human. It was inevitable that he'd fall in love with the holiest of beings. It was tragic how he drug him down to the dirt and ripped the halo from him.
"But why? I don't get it!"
The plea to understand was loud and clear. There's nothing he could think of that'd make him worth a fall from grace. He was a regular human. Hell, he committed his fair share of sins and was dirtier and more broken than the streets of Gotham. Still, the earnest look he was getting from the fallen seraph filled him with affection. If only he knew what he did to Jason. Knew the sinful thoughts he had and just how completely his heart belonged to Dick. The fallen cradled Jason's face in his warm hands and brought himself closer until they were a breath apart. That aching, bittersweet smile held up his soft lips.
"Because, you taught me what it means to love."
It was a whisper, but it rang through the cavity of Jason's chest like the bells of Notre Dame. His breath was lost at the admission. Before he could respond, Dick backed away. Then, he was simply gone. Jason stared at the spot Dick had been before he fell to his knees. His hands found their way into the dirt and he shook apart. Tears blurred his vision and he couldn't help but feel like he's desecrated the most holy of things. His sacrilege tore him to pieces. When his voice returned, he could do nothing but choke out into the air to the singing robins around him.
"God, I'm so sorry."