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Bilbo was lost.
Again.
He looked around at the six tunnels branching off from the room formed by their convergence, and sighed. All the tunnels looked the same. The stone was the same, the sizes were similar, the angle of ascent and descent identical. There were no markings or carvings on the wall to indicate anything. All Bilbo had was himself and his little lantern.
"I guess I should just pick one," Bilbo said as he looked at the closest tunnel. He started down the tunnel, then paused. He turned back, ripped off one of his waistcoat buttons and set it on the floor in front of the tunnel entrance, then ventured into the dark.
....
"What do you mean, Bilbo's not here?" Thorin asked angrily at the two guards who were supposed to be guarding the Royal Consort. "Where is my hobbit?"
"Your Majesty, when the assassins came, we pushed him down a corridor and told him to run and hide. He must have gone further and gotten lost. We've been searching for hours and can't find him anywhere." The guard looked visibly upset at the thought of losing their charge. "The Assassins were taken care of, but we didn't know what to do when we couldn't find-"
"We're wasting time here. Go with Dwalin and Nori and show them all the places you've already looked. Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur, Balin. You five come with me." Thorin set off down the corridor as Dwalin began his interrogation.
"Uncle, will Bilbo-"
"He'll be fine Kili," Thorin said through clenched teeth as they headed down the hall. "He has to be."
.......
Bilbo returned to the convergence of tunnels, soaking wet, and muddy.
"OK, tunnel number one leads to the River Running. Let's not do that again." He looked over at the next corridor. "I guess number two will do just as well." He said as he ripped off another button and placed it on the floor.
......
They found no trace of him in the top level of mines, nor did any of the current laborers remember seeing him.
"He may have gone through the old southern silver tunnel," Halfin, a friend of Bofur's, mused when he was asked. "There's an old entrance back up the corridor a bit. He may have gone through there."
The present Company and Thorin marched back up to the old entrance they had passed on their way to the larger, newer mine.
"Come on! What are we waiting for?" Kili said when everyone just stared at it for a few moments.
"This mine was abandoned because it has fissures of instability and is prone to cave-ins and landslides." Thorin said seriously. "At least one of the tunnels that branches off of the main one has been reclaimed by an underground branch of the River Running. Another was closed because the stone exudes a poisonous gas that puts you to sleep and you never wake up."
"Ah," Kili said in understanding. "So shall we go find Bilbo?" He asked meekly.
Everyone nodded and set off down the tunnel.
....
Bilbo came running back into the room, furiously brushing the tiny caterpillars off his clothes as he skidded to a halt.
"Get off you creepy crawlies!" He panted. Then looked at the next tunnel and ripped his next button off viscously. "I will not lose to a mountain!" He huffed, then set off down the dark tunnel.
.....
Every small alcove and room was searched as they came across them, but still no sign of Bilbo. They had found two serviceable pickaxes in a storeroom, and Bofur and Bifur were gently tapping on the walls at intervals to listen to the mountain and search for vulnerable places in the stone. Every once in a while, Thorin would place his hand into the wall, murmur something to himself, then carry on walking.
When Fili asked about it, Balin answered softly.
" Your uncle has always been known for his great stone sense. As a child, he wandered the halls and never once got lost. All dwarves have the ability to connect to stone at some level. Some look at it and see precious gems already cut and gleaming, others can feel threads of gold and silver traveling deep into the earth. Bofur and Bifur are good miners because of their heightened ability to sense weak places in the rock. But it is said that those in the line of Durin can actually speak with the stone. That is why the call of the Arkenstone was so powerful on Thorin and his grandfather Thror before him. Thorin has never mentioned it to me, but seeing the way he walks through pitch blackness with surety, it must be strong within him."
Kili and Fili looked at their uncle with wide eyes and a new respect.
"And do you have good stone sense, Balin?" Kili asked as they watched Bifur confer with Thorin in kuzduhl while pointing at the smooth rock wall.
"I have a fairly good sense of stone, but more in line with assessing the quality of gems, like Master Gloin. Thorin asked me to come because I probably know these mines better than anyone still alive." They all quieted as they were reminded of the dragon's destruction.
"This way!" Thorin called back to them as he strode purposefully down the right branch of the tunnel that lay before them. Everyone quickly followed so they would not be left behind by their worried king.
......
Bilbo walked back to the center room and let out a faint sigh. That hallway had dead ended in what seemed to be a half collapsed mine. He Absentmindedly brushed the dust off of him from where he had fallen several times on the shifting pebbles and grime. He did not want to see what would happen to the heavier footed dwarves if they had tried to walk through the endless rubble.
He looked over to the next entrance.
"Maybe a little rest first," he said, then sat down in the middle of the floor and lay flat on the ground. He'd been down here for hours and had been running from assassins before that. He deserved a nap. But first he began to sing.
.....
Thorin came to a stop halfway down one of the tunnels.
"What is it?" Fili asked as he watched his uncle's face shift from confused to grinning.
"Do you not feel the vibrations? The mountain is singing." Thorin took off down the tunnel at a run and the others hastily chased after him.
....
Bilbo was just finishing the chorus to the cute Laketown lullaby about little white flowers and singing birds in the nest when he heard footsteps. He cut off abruptly and stood just as Thorin came sprinting down a tunnel.
"Thorin!" He cried as lept into his husband's arms and tried not to wince when he was accidentally headbutted.
"Bilbo, I was so worried you would get lost and hurt in the tunnels." He whispered as the rest of the search party came panting into the room.
"That I would get lost! You're the one who got lost in the Shire in broad daylight!" He laughed as tears ran down his face and they embraced tightly.
"Yes, well. Dwarves never get lost underground," he said mulishly. "I heard the mountain start to sing with you. I was afraid you would fall into the river or stumble upon the acidic slime."
Bilbo looked back at the tunnels and shuddered.
"Yes, well cave in, creepy crawlies, and near submersion in the river we enough for me. I had taken a break before I tried the other tunnels. Glad I did if one will eat my clothes."
"Your skin-" Balin muttered.
"Or the deadly gas!" Kili piped up. Fili elbowed him in the ribs.
"Yes, well. I did find this in the caved in cavern," he said, pulling a large rough hewn stone out of his pocket. "I don't know what it is, but it was in a bucket all by itself, so I thought it might be special."
Balin stepped forward and took it from Bilbo's outstretched hand. He tapped it gently, sniffed it several times, and hummed as he looked it over from all angles.
"It seems to be a very large sapphire, of rather high quality. You might want Gloin to take a look as well."
"Let's head back," Thorin said, finally stepping away from Bilbo. "We can discuss gems once we are all back in the palace."
They all agreed and turned to head back.
"Wait! I need to get my buttons!" Bilbo said as he bent over to pick up his place markers on the floor. When he straightened back up, he looked at six confused faces.
"Why are your buttons on the floor?" Kili asked slowly. "Is this a hobbit tradition?"
"What? No! I placed them there so I wouldn't accidentally go down the same tunnel twice. Rather clever, I think," Bilbo said.
"But the tunnels are all different," Fili responded. Bilbo looked back at the identical tunnels and then incredulously back at the crown prince.
"They are completely identical!" Bilbo said.
"No, they aren't. Look at this one here. The edges are smoothed down until they shine, so you know it's much older than the one to its right, which has sharper corners. This one has a slightly moist taste to the air, and that one smells like rotten turnips-"
"That's the slime one-"
Bilbo looked at the dwarves like they had lost their minds.
"Right, well. This hobbit is still slightly wet, very dirty, and ready for a bath and three meals. Lead the way back, since I'd probably lead us off a cliff with my sense of direction underground."
Thorin rolled his eyes fondly and led them all back up the correct tunnel to the main halls of the Lonely Mountain.
.....
"It's worth how much?" Bilbo shouted as he stared at Balin and Gloin.
"Roughly 3000 lbs of gold, give or take a few hundred." Gloin replied as he turned the stone over in his hands. "You won't know until you take it to a jeweler and have it cut and polished, but it's one of the higher quality large sapphires I've seen." Gloin handed it back to Bilbo with a smile.
"But what do I do with it?" Bilbo said as he stared down at the rock that his hand. "I don't think I've ever held anything so expensive before."
"Laddie," Balin said, grasping Bilbo on the shoulder. "The Arkenstone was worth at least 60 times as much as the stone you are holding right now."
Bilbo gaped at Balin for a bit and blinked his eyes slowly like an owl.
"That's, that's at least 180,000 lbs of gold." Bilbo stuttered.
"At least, probably more," Gloin added. "Especially taking its history into account. It was an entirely unique stone, so putting a set price on it would be quite difficult. By far it was the most expensive piece of treasure in Erebor."
Bilbo handed the sapphire to Balin, took a few breaths, then said, "ah, nope." And fainted dead away.
Balin and Gloin looked at the hobbit, then back to each other.
"Do you think this is a hobbit trait? He seems to do it quite often." Gloin mused from his desk.
Balin just sighed and bent down to try to waken the hobbit. He did seem a rather excitable fellow, even after all this time.