Work Text:
> … > … >
>03/03/2010 18:24:57
Beginning playback
Kotone’s room came into view, the girl herself still clad in her school uniform as she carefully sat down on her bed. She took a deep sip from her coffee mug, letting out a sigh.
Kotone then looked up, a tired smile on her face as she faced the camera directly. “Good evening, everyone! Or… morning, or afternoon, whenever you’re watching this, haha! I’m nowhere near as good as Fuuka is at machines and stuff, but after tinkering with this for a year, I’m pretty sure I got the recording set up like I wanted! And hey, I’m the first one back to the dorm today, so perfect chance! Oh, uh, and sorry I had to break the command room lock to get in…” She rocked back in forth, seeming to debate what to say. “So, um... Oh, geez, I had a whole speech planned out, too. Fine, whatever, just winging it!” She pumped her fists in excitement. “So… remember the 31st of January? It was pretty cold that night, wasn’t it? At the top of Tartarus.
“Ah-ha, I really hope you guys remember by now, or else you'll think I'm crazy.” She looked down at her coffee. “Okay, I’m pretty sure none of you remember the details of the command room right now, not even Mitsuru-senpai, so you should only be seeing this if you remember. And I really hope you’re all seeing this!”
She let out a sad giggle. “Because if you don’t, I know how much pain you’ll be in. Um, explanation: I remembered everything about a week after the fact. I don’t think anyone else does. Aigis might, but she’s been scarce since that day. Us having forgotten might be too painful for her to watch. Sorry I didn’t approach you earlier, Aigis!”
Kotone crossed her arms, and began bouncing her foot almost impatiently. “Uh… anyway, that night when we saved humanity sure was something, huh? Ending the Dark Hour, beating the unbeatable. My ears are still ringing from Junpei’s cheering! And Akihiko, that proud smile you gave me, while Ken-kun looked up to me all admiring… Yukari-chan, that loving embrace you gave me as I returned, thankful I was unscathed…”
Kotone’s face lost its wistful look, her expression turning somber as she stared unblinkingly into the camera. “I wish I could have told you then. But… maybe it just didn’t completely click until I saw how I just couldn’t get the same energy I usually have. How I spent all of National Foundation Day here in the dorm, drifting in and out of naps. I… I didn’t come away unscathed. Nyx was pretty tough, you guys! It took all your support for me to even stand up. And even then, I still had to give it my all to defeat her. Literally.”
She looked down, closing her eyes. “It will have already happened by the time you see this. Sealing Death away from humanity’s desire for dying? Ironically that killed me, haha… I had to sacrifice my own life for that.
“I have no idea how long I’ll last,” Kotone continued, giving a sad smile as she opened her eyes again. “I can feel myself growing more and more tired every day. Ryoji’s initial heads up on this will probably be right in my case. I doubt I’ll make it to spring. Shame, as a lot of people seem to be making plans with me for spring break. But... what are you going to do?” She shrugged nonchalantly.
A long pause. “I’m not sad I’m going, for the record. Making sure you all survive and smile was always my number one priority as leader! And I pulled that off pretty well, I think, so… round of applause?”
She sat in wait, smiling.
“...okay, enough of that,” Kotone laughed, gesturing as if to stop any potential clapping. “I am sad I won’t be there for you all anymore, though. And I’m so, so sorry I never told you this, but… how could I explain I’m dying if you don’t remember the reason? Mitsuru-senpai, if I suddenly came to you saying I was slowly dying, what would you have done? Probably rush me to a hospital, I’m sure. Study me for a disease. …but nobody would find anything...” Her eyelids drooped and an expression of utter exhaustion adorned her.
She suddenly blinked it off, slapped her cheek, and took a quick sip of her coffee before continuing. “...this might be better in the end, though. Selfish of me, but I don’t want to see you crying over me. And besides, you can rewatch this as much as you- oh, wait…” She stopped, frowning. “You’ll be leaving the dorm soon, huh, senpais? And… okay, no, let’s keep going on. Sorry that only just occurred to me! Um, maybe you can bring the videos with you? If you… remember by then.”
She sighed. “Boy, I hope I can see your graduation ceremony. We all promised to meet up on the school roof then, after all. And… as the only one with her memories right now, I should try to fulfill that. But two more days honestly seems like too much for me.” She took another, longer sip.
“Uh, so like… go through my stuff and take back your gifts. Sorry to return them, but… they’re like my mementos now, huh? I hope you’ll cherish them as much as I did. ...I’m sure you will, you gave them to me for a special reason after all. Ken-kun, you can have my manga, too. And Junpei, my video games. Fuuka, my cookbook. Just remember. Follow. The. Recipe! And always do your best! Yukari-chan, I know you’re a JPop fan, so you can have all my music! And... uh...”
Kotone giggled and looked up lovingly. “I’m always yours, Yukari-chan. Remember me saying that to you on Valentine’s Day?” Kotone shrugged, her smile never dropping now. “I debated with the idea of my body being buried in a garden or something. To feed the plants, y’know? But… in the end I’d just like to be cremated. Mitsuru-senpai, could I trouble you to make funeral arrangements for me?”
A pause, as if waiting to hear an answer.
“Thanks, you’re the best!” the recorded Kotone continued. “Yukari-chan, I want you to have my ashes. I… I know that’s far from my best gift to you. You’d probably prefer more of my sweets, or maybe even just a kiss? But… I want my fate in your hands like it had been so often on our journey. Just because you can’t heal me anymore doesn’t mean I don’t still count on you. You can spread me somewhere you think I’d like if it hurts you too much to keep me around. Or not. Whatever you like!”
Another pause.
“...this talk is pretty morbid, huh?” Kotone asked, an apologetic frown now her face. “Sorry, hard to avoid that. Hope I managed to sprinkle some levity in. And that I did the passing on of possessions well enough, too. It’s my first time doing this, after all! Cut me a little slack!”
She took a final sip of her drink and leaned forward. “...don’t cry for me for too long. I made a lot of friends this past year. Some of them outside of the know of our Tartarus forrays. One of them… Akinari Kamiki… he wrote a book before he died of an illness. He told me I taught him life has meaning beyond what you’ll see. I don’t know how I taught him that, but… I have to agree. All of us were acting for people who weren’t here to see it after all. I think that’s why I could do what I did in the last battle.”
Kotone’s face lit up as she sat up straight again. “Oh, Mitsuru-senpai, you can have his manuscript! I’m sure you’ll know the right thing to do with it. Kirijo could probably help publish it or something!” She leaned forward again. “...Aigis? I’m sure you’re blaming yourself for this. For sealing Death inside me all those years ago. Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for anything. Live like you started to after we met, okay? And know I’ll always love you, all of you.”
She sat up again, slumping in her bed slightly. “I ran into the author’s mom at the shrine today. She spoke to me about…” Kotone shook her head. “She told me to make sure I tell my loved ones how I feel before it’s too late for them to hear me. I know she meant it from the point of view of one who lost someone, but… well, I know a lot of you hold regrets over lost loved ones. So… I’m going to make it clear what you all mean to me. So we don't regret it.”
She cleared her throat and mustered as much energy as she could. “Ken-kun, you’re going to grow up to be an amazing adult someday, I’m sure of it! Akihiko-senpai, we only talked about the past together, but I know you won’t feel burdened by it anymore! Aigis, you’re more alive than a lot of people I’ve seen, and I’m sure you’ll make the most of it! Koro-chan, you’re the best dog ever! Who’s a good boy?!
“Mitsuru-senpai, you’ll handle Kirijo Group just fine, I’m sure! Fuuka, never let anyone tell you your interests make you weird! They make you awesome! Junpei, you’ll make it to the major leagues or wherever, I know you will! And lastly… Yukari-chan. You-” A sudden knock at the door cut her off.
“Kotone, you in there?” Yukari’s voice asked. “I was thinking we could grab some dinner together!” Her voice gained a teasing tone to it. “You know… if you’re not too sleepy!”
Kotone hesitated, a blush on her face. “Well… I guess I can tell you in person, then,” she whispered. “Just a second, Yukari-chan!”
She leaned close to the camera and continued in a whisper. “Live life, please. When we all meet again? When you’re ready for the next journey? I want to hear all about how you rocked it while alive!” She blew a kiss. “Well... Until then, then! See ya! Love you all!” She grabbed her empty coffee mug before running off screen to the door.
“Hey, honey! Sorry to keep you waiting!”
“Oh, wow!” Yukari’s voice replied with a slightly choked laugh. “I can really smell the hot sauce on your breath! Why do you insist on putting that in your coffee of all things?”
“Hey, it helps wake you up better! And I find it adds a delicious kick…”
Yukari and Kotone could be heard giggling as the door closed, their laughter fading into the distance. The screen then abruptly cut to static.
>The recording ends here...