Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lucifer found himself lying down on the couch in the therapist’s office, wondering not for the first time what he was doing there.

Sure, he had seen Linda a few times now and the sex was great but the therapy itself tended to put him in a foul mood afterwards. She was always trying to get him to talk about things he wasn’t willing to talk about. Okay, that wasn’t exactly true. He began talking and things just go in directions he didn’t like and he had to stop it before things went too far. No need to scare the poor woman, after all.

He didn’t often lie down on the piece of furniture he was on. Usually he sat like a normal person would. He had seen others in here during sessions after all, and they all sat like he did.

Today he actually had something he did want to talk about instead of getting her to ask random questions to get him to start talking. And it was something new, unfamiliar and beginning to annoy him.

“Doctor Linda... What does friendship feel like?”

She blinked at him from her seat across the coffee table and frowned.

“Friendship? Well, I guess you could call it a feeling like you are happy or content while in the vicinity of someone you like.”

“Yes, I get that, which is odd in itself, but I do get it. No, I mean, what if you feel friendship towards someone and they don’t back?”

Linda stared at him with a tiny frown on her face. She usually tried to keep her own feelings out of sessions. Had he done or said something wrong or weird? He seriously needed to learn things like this.

“Lucifer, are you talking about detective Decker?” she asked him and he frowned back at her.

“Umm, yes. I tend to really get on her nerves I think, but I don’t know what I am supposed to do to get her to like me back!”

Linda closed her eyes and sighed. “You can’t push someone into liking you, Lucifer. If anything, that will backfire in your face and push her away from you. The advice I can give you right now is to be yourself and hope she gets to like you as you. Don’t pretend to be someone or something you’re not. And, just to make this really clear, don’t push her if she decides she doesn’t like you. Back off. It might also help if you stop soliciting her for sex.”

That all sounded like good advice except for one, tiny little thing. “But...how do I know if she likes me or not if she won’t sleep with me?”

Linda rubbed at her face, after taking off her glasses. “Lucifer, friendship isn’t about sex. It is about company you like and feel comfortable in. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. It just means she doesn’t want to have sex with you. That’s it. Move on.”

Sitting up on the couch, his frown deepened. “I don’t really know how else to show that I like someone. What do I do instead?”

Linda tilted her head to one side, in a gesture he had come to believe was her thinking about how to answer something. Good, she was going to give him good advice.

“Well, have you tried just talking with her about non sexual things? You could go to her house and get to know her and her child and husband better.”

Lucifer grimaced at that. “Detective Douche? Those two are separated. I don’t know why, but they are. And I tried going to her house once. She got mad at me for making her omelettes for breakfast.”

Linda blinked at him. “Really? Did you ask her if she had already had breakfast? Or even if she likes omelettes in the first place?”

Lucifer shrank into the couch. “No, I didn’t. I will inform her next time and ask those questions. Thank you for the advice Doctor. I feel kind of silly for not thinking of it before.”

Linda smiled at him and nodded. “You’re welcome. And I am glad that you came to me when you realised you needed advice to understand the situation. I hope it helps.”

He nodded and grinned back. “Well, it all sounds good right now, except for the whole no sex thing, but I can live with that.”

Linda nodded wisely at him and smoothed out her skirt, before looking at her watch. “Are you leaving now, or is there anything else you wanted to discuss? You still have 15 minutes of session time.”

He shook his head and stood up. “No, I’m good now. So! Next week then?”

Linda smiled at him again, moving her gaze up and down his body. “Yes, next week.”

“Lovely,” he replied before walking out of the office.

He would give her the payment offered at her house later on that evening.

Chapter Text

There has got to be something wrong with him.

For the past two weeks his mood had been at the lower end of bad. Sadness seemed to just follow him around and he understood a little better those cartoons humans had where an individual had a personal rain cloud over their head.

So, as was quickly becoming habit, he made his way to Doctor Linda’s office.

The worst thing about it is he couldn’t even use sex with her as an excuse to visit anymore, since she had decided to curb that and have him pay her in money instead.

It was oddly a lot easier to talk to her now they weren’t having sex. Much less awkward, that’s for sure, because things could get awkward. Unfortunately, it also meant he was in this because he actually did need it. He thought he could get away with sex as an excuse for a lot longer, but Linda’s moral compass was too strong apparently and she broke herself free of his addictive properties.

He was oddly proud of her for that. Maybe that’s why he kept coming to her still outside her business hours.

Because for the first time since the sex stopped he was at her house after hours, waiting for her to get a drink of water for him from her kitchen. He watched her as she did it, since her kitchen and living room were joined as one, with a small dining table near the kitchen.

He wondered if she would also offer him food. He hadn’t been eating as much and just realised he was hungry.

Linda walked to where he sat on her couch, handed him the tall glass of water and took one of the armchairs near him. “You look upset,” she stated right off the bat, and he took a hasty sip of the water.

“Yeah. Have been for a few weeks now. I just can’t shake it, you know?”

Linda hummed at him and tilted her head to the side. “So, what happened to make you feel like this?’

He sighed and leaned back into the couch. “You already know. I just haven’t come out of the low I got in when Frank died.”

Linda’s eyebrows raised. “He was the priest, yes?”

Lucifer frowned, but nodded. “Yes, he was the priest. Father Frank. I think one of the reasons I liked him was the alliteration.”

Linda closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she looked tired. “Lucifer, have you ever lost someone you liked before?”

He scowled. “Of course I have! The loss of Delilah is what got me in therapy in the first place, if you remember? I mean, it was only a few short months ago. Have you got that short a memory? Do all humans have short memory spans?”

Linda sighed loudly at him. “Lucifer! I meant someone you actually were in a friendship with.”

And this made Lucifer scowl even more pronounced. “I knew him a grand total of a few days. Days! I should not still be this upset over it. I got over Delilah’s death in days. Why is this different?”

Linda rubbed at her eyes. He was beginning to think it was a gesture of annoyance for her when it comes to him. “I will say this very carefully, so you understand okay?”

He nodded, because that’s at least one thing he understood. Sometimes he just didn’t get stuff like a human would and Linda knew that.

“It doesn’t matter how long you knew a person. If they die in your arms and you felt strongly for them, like you did Father Frank, it will hurt. Have you never grieved before?’

He thought for a while on that one. “Well, I was really upset and angry when I was thrown out of the house for saying no t dear old Dad. I don’t know if it was the same thing though. It happened so long ago. That...that hurt for a lot longer than a few weeks too. It hurt for a really long time.”

Linda nodded at him. “Yes, you were betrayed and abandoned by those you care about. And that hurts and is a form of grief. When people we like die, it has the same effect on us.”

He groaned. “I don’t want to go through anything like that again. And it doesn’t feel the same, I know that much. I’m over the anger now that the Spider is behind bars and I never have to see him again until he dies. And then I plan to go visit him in his little torture chamber in Hell...”

“Linda nodded at that one, even though she didn’t believe him to be the Devil and thought he was suffering harmless delusions. “That’s good. It’s good you’re letting go over his death. I know it hurt you that he died the way he did. We’ve talked about that.”

He let out his breath steady and slow, before nodding. “I think that maybe I just need to know what to do to feel better about it? You know, try to get back on track with things. I haven’t eaten al day, which is going to be hell on my body. I burn through food fast.”

She nodded again and reached forward to pat the knee closest to her hand. “Well, my advice would be to go home, eat something and then do whatever feels right to you. Play the piano, sing, party, have copious amounts of really good sex. Try to get back in your routine, don’t just stop. You’re already over the anger, you just need to allow yourself time. Time will make the pain and sadness ease.”

He snorted and looked at her closely. “I noticed you didn’t say get over it.”

She shook her head. “Death isn’t something us poor humans just gets over. It takes time, it takes work and it takes a lot of over emotional days. In a way, you never fully get over it, you just learn to live with it and move on. The hurt will fade so that you only remember when you want to. And given how few actual friends you have, losing one of them would really hurt, Lucifer. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. It’s all normal. Don’t worry about that.”

For some unknown reason hearing that actually made him feel slightly better about things. Sure, he still felt like crap, but for the first time in over a week, he was hungry and wanted to eat. He was over the anger and wanting revenge, like he had just said.

Knowing that there was nothing weird or wrong about the feeling let him relax.

There was nothing wrong with him.

He took Linda’s advice and went back home to Lux. The first thing he wanted was a burger with the works on it. Maybe some chips. Some Cool Ranch Puffs for a treat and wash it all down with a bottle of whiskey.

He was suddenly in the mood to do some things that made him happy.

Chapter Text

He stared at the floor and refused to look at Linda, sitting in her seat across from him.

“Lucifer? Something happened while you were in Hell. Your mother won’t say what, and Maze doesn’t know. The others had no idea of what the plan was. I think you need to talk about it now.”

He shook his head, lips tightening over his teeth. He really didn’t want to talk about that. The only reason he had even shown up at his normal weekly appointment was because he knew if he didn’t she would come searching for him at Lux.

“Okay. Do you want to talk about your marriage to Candy, then?”

He sighed loudly. “In case it wasn’t blatantly obvious, it was a marriage of convenience. On several fronts. Not all of them for me. As soon as all deals were met we very amicably divorced. Well, the divorce will take a year to be finalised, but we signed the papers and handed them in. As far as both of us are concerned, we had a nice couple of weeks together, where we helped each other out of some problems we were both dealing with. That’s it.”

Linda did her head tilt. “What did you marry her for?”

“To get back at mother in a way she would understand. I sent the two of them shopping together. Candy acting like the ditzy blonde she is not, while I tried to weasel my way back into the Detective’s good graces. It was stupid, but necessary. Though, I do admit I should have told everyone where I was going instead of disappearing. I wasn’t exactly thinking very clearly when I did leave with the plan in my head. That was stupid of me.”

Linda leaned forwards. “’You left some things out of that explanation.”

He grimaced at her. “Okay, yes, I had some recent bad news about Chloe that kind of sent me in a tail spin and now I can’t be with her even if I want to be.”

Linda looked at him with a small frown on her face, a look of confusion for her. “Why not?”

“She is a present from dear old Dad, probably in an effort to get me home. Just the kind of a sick trick he would do. Make me care about someone and then starting a relationship in the hopes I would run home to him when she dies. And I refuse to go back. I refuse the bait. It would steal away her free will, and free will means everything to me.”

The look of confusion on Linda’s face turned to one of shock. “Wow. I don’t even know what to say about that.”

Lucifer nodded. “Yeah, we were all shocked when Amenadiel found out that the mother he blessed was Penelope. Talk about cruel and unusual torture. Can’t get any better than my dad at it...”

“I’m so sorry.”

He nodded. “Yeah, but now we’re going to be just friends. It helps to not have had sex with her. I’m actually glad now. Means I don’t know what I am going to miss out on, you know?”

Linda nodded slightly, though he didn’t know if she actually did understand or not.

“Did what happen in Hell have something to do with Chloe?”

He sank into the cushions on the couch and shook his head. He sighed, because he knew Linda would harp on about the subject for weeks if he didn’t talk about it. He’d rather just rip that band aid off, even if it would hurt to do so.

“No, it was about Uriel. There’s no actual music in Hell. In the cells there can be music, but you can’t hear it in the corridors of Hell. I heard a piano playing and, like the idiot I am, I had to go and see. It was stupid. Music is a lure and I knew that. My guilt over killing Uriel landed me my very own room in Hell. Still, I know it’s there now and the lure. I also know what my Hell consists of and...I really don’t want to talk about that. It’s a little bit too recent.”

Linda nodded, her eyes holding understanding over that. He’d talked enough about Hell to let her realise it really was not a place you wanted to go when you die. “That’s okay. Take your own time to get used to the idea of telling me, before you do.”

He nodded, because he knew he would at some point. He told her more than anyone else in his life. She did, after all know him as him and it made her easy to talk to. Ad she helped him sort out the problems he ran into considering the human race and his own emotions.

“Do you have anything in your book of tricks to help?”

She blinked at him and he could once again see the confusion in her eyes. “With Chloe or Hell?’

“The whole Hell thing. The Chloe thing, unfortunately, is between me and my dad. I doubt there’s anything you can really do but be a soundboard for that one.”

She nodded at that, sitting up straighter. She understood completely how much he needed a soundboard to figure out his own emotions sometimes.

“So, is it the death that got you in Hell, or something else?”

Lucifer shook his head. “Hell doesn’t really work that way, unless you do it out of maliciousness and more than once. Serial killers that feel no remorse end up in a locked cell. Most others though have unlocked doors. It’s the guilt that gets you in Hell. Well, the acts help.”

Linda nodded and wrote some notes own in the file on her lap. “Okay. So, how about we start working on your guilt then. It will also give you some more skills to help you deal with death. I know you’re still affected by Uriel’s death in more than just guilt.”

He looked to the floor again and let out his breath in a slow, controlled exhale. “That would be good. Anything else?”

‘You could not run off without telling anyone where you’re going again. It would be a lot less stress on everyone. Including me.”

He winced at that and grinned awkwardly at her. “Okay, that I can do. Unless something prevents me from it.”

She nodded back and grinned. “That would be very good. And times up for today. I’ll see you next week?”

He got up on his feet and made his way to the door. “You know me, Linda. Always ready for more time with you.”

He left before he got a reply to that one.

Chapter Text

Lucifer paced from one side of the room to the other, before turning around and repeating the process. He’d been at it now for 5 minutes and still he wasn’t calm. Anger still pulsed inside him and he had no idea how to safely expel it.

“Lucifer? You can come in now,” Linda states, poking her head out of her office to find him in the waiting room.

He looked at her and nodded, before hurrying inside. He felt slightly more relaxed when he heard the door close and lock behind him. He hadn’t known he needed to talk to her this badly, if just being in her presence helped calm him.

“You look like you have something to say,” she said, going over to her chair and sitting down.

He stayed standing up, beginning to pace in the office, which had a lot more room to move. He felt the need to unfurl his wings and fully stretch. He didn’t give in to that. He was still mainly in ignoring them mode.

“I don’t know if she told you or not, but Ella is really upset right now with her oldest brother. He turned out to be a criminal and evaded telling his whole family that, including Ella. She was so blindsided by it she was a wreck. And I just...I can’t stand seeing her like that. I want to help but don’t know how and all I feel is anger towards her brother.”

“Wait, she’s upset that her oldest brother is a criminal and she didn’t know?”

He nodded. “He kept it well hidden from them. Ella thought he was a saint in his goodness. She refused to see him as the two bit jewel thief he is until he basically had no choice but to tell it to her himself. He broke her poor heart.”

“Huh. No,, she hasn’t told me. Okay, you said you were angry at the brother. Are you angry with him because he hurt Ella, or because he’s a criminal/”

He stopped pacing ad frowned off into space. “I...don’t know? I think it might be both. He needs to be punished for what he did, but because there’s no proof he did anything, because he was stopped before he was able to change the etch markings on the diamonds. He got off scot free. And Ella won’t do anything about it, even though she knows she could if she just tried.”

Linda nodded. “She loves her brother, regardless of what he has done and didn’t want to see him in jail.”

“Yes! But he needs to be punished for what he did. Both to the criminal element and the hurting Ella. But I don’t know what to do!”

Linda shifted in her seat and sighed slightly. “Lucifer, maybe you should talk to Ella and see how she is holding up now that the shock has worn off a bit. She’ll likely need support and you are obviously upset over her being upset.”

“She thought I would be happy that she was upset! Happy! Why would she think that? She’s one of my very few friends. I don’t like her when she isn’t bouncing around on a hyper high. She should know that by now. So I don’t know if she wants to talk to me.”

Linda shook her head. “No, Lucifer. You should talk to her. And you never know, she might go back to how she normally acts once she has someone to rant at. Go to her, talk to her and then go on with whatever she decides.”

And with that, Lucifer blinked. “Hmm, I just had an idea! Thank you, Doctor, you’ve been really helpful! I’ll talk to Ella. But first, I need to have a little chat with the brother. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him, I swear. I’m just going to put the fear of the Devil in him.”

He could hear Linda object to that as he went to the door to let himself out.

Right then, he had a little punishment in his mind that was well earned.

No one hurts one of his friends and gets away with it.

Chapter Text

After telling Linda about his dream, he knew she’d push. She left off for a week, waited until he had settled down and talked to her about other things. And then she had to bring it up again.

“Lucifer, it’s been months now, since you got your wings back. If you don’t want to talk about them fully, will you at least answer one question for me?”

He frowned at her, confused. She was actually asking to ask a question? Okay, what had this Linda done with his version?

“Uh, alright. What do you want to know?”

She leaned forwards, her eyes directly on him. “You told me about your dream last week and how much it scared you to be out of control like that. What I’d like to know is have you had any other dreams like that and just not told me?”

Well, that at least was an easy question to answer. He relaxed into the couch. “No, that was the only dream like that.”

She looked at him firmly and he shifted slightly, suddenly nervous that that was only just the beginning.

“Okay. Have you had other dreams about your wings at all?”

He blinked at that, because again, it seemed pretty obvious to him what the answer was. “Of course I have. I dream of flying all the time. I had a bad day once where I dreamt about not being able to move them at all and falling again. That one also scared me, but it didn’t come out of nowhere so it didn’t really bother me after I woke up. I got out of that life. Just opening my eyes and being in my flat at Lux calmed me.”

She nodded at him. “Okay, that’s good. Do you still feel like cutting them off?”

He shifted again in his seat, because this was definitely getting into territory he didn’t want to go in. “Not all the time. I mainly got used to doing as you suggested before and just ignoring them. Sometimes I forget that I did get them back for a while and they will spring out and unfurl on their own.”

“Did that happen to you when you had the dream?” Linda asked.

He remembered the mess of a night it was. The Detective hadn’t called him in, because they were between cases at that time, so he had stayed at home. He’d opened up Lux early to stave off boredom and gone upstairs at around 9 in the evening with a lovely young woman who had wanted to do some butt stuff. The kind that involved a strap on.

It had been really good too, until he had accidentally shoved her off when his wings decided to pop into this plane of existence and scare her half to death. He had thought he had gotten control back of the bloody feathery menaces from unfurling during sex.

He shifted in his seat. “Umm, yes?”

Linda nodded. “What was the situation? Were you alone?”

He shook his head and stared at the ground. “Definitely not alone.”

Linda nodded at him. “During sex again? A situation you thought you had them in control?”

He curled up on the couch and nodded again as an answer.

“Lucifer? I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think it’s one thing that you’ll never want to talk about. And it’s beginning to affect your life enough I’m concerned about you keeping this to yourself. This is one of those things you need to talk about. It goes beyond want now.”

He curled up on the couch further and shook his head. “I think I’ll just...”

“No, Lucifer! Stop walking out as soon as things get hard. I know traumatic things are hard to talk about. I mean, I was stabbed by your mother. I’m scared of an innocent woman because she looks like her. I know it’s hard. Have you discussed your wings with Amenadiel?’

He sighed loudly, but stayed where he was on the couch. She was getting annoyed and the last thing he wanted was to have her break up with him. He didn’t know what he’d do if that happened. “No, I haven’t. He lost his and is sensitive that I got mine back...”

“But he talks about the loss and how much it hurts him,” Linda stated and Lucifer could tell that his big bro had done more than sleep with his therapist.

“So?”

“So? Have you noticed he is more settled now?”

He grinned at her, though it felt forced. This conversation was going to very uncomfortable places. “I thought that was because of your super secret sexual relationship with him.”

She shook her head, a slight blush covering her cheeks. “Sex with me is not the reason, Lucifer. He was settling down well before we began to have sex.”

He had to give her that one. He doubted that Amenadiel would have said half the things to him if he hadn’t been a bit more at peace with the loss of his Celestial powers and wings. “Alright, you might have a point...might.”

“Lucifer. I am going to ask questions now, and I would really like you to answer them, okay? Do you think you can do that?”

He shuddered slightly, but nodded. “Okay. I’ll try. No guarantees, though.”

Linda closed her eyes but nodded. “That’s fine. But I will go back to it if you don’t answer in another session.”

He groaned out loud at that one. With how hard she was pushing him now, he truly believed that too. She would. “Fine, Doctor. Ask your questions.”

“My first question is one you have avoided answering other times I asked. How do you feel about your wings being back?”

He sighed, a long, slow exhaling of breath that he tried to imagine holding the words. “Things...”

“What things?”

He shrugged and looked at the floor. “Anger. Embarrassment. Sadness. It makes me feel stupid. Out of control. Annoyed...”

Linda shifted in her own seat. He wasn’t looking at her, but he could hear her still.

“Okay, that’s a lot to feel. And I think you left something out.”

He shook his head fast at that one, but didn’t say anything. She knew him too well to fall for that though.

“Lucifer? What did you leave out?”

“I don’t...I don’t even know why I feel like I do. It just makes me feel stupid.”

“What makes you feel stupid?”

He uncurled himself and got up to pace. “I didn’t ask for them back. I never wanted them back. Getting rid of the bloody things was a choice I made and never looked back on. I was happy with the choice I made. Having them just suddenly returned, without my knowing or wanting them it just...it felt like...”

“Like?”

He could feel his chest tightening, but now he had started he didn’t want to stop. Maybe Linda was right and it would help to talk about it. “It felt like a violation. I didn’t ask nor want them. But there they were when I woke up. And ever since I haven’t...they won’t stay gone. They just won’t go away! They grow back if I cut them off! How am I meant to...what do I do?! I don’t want them. I want them gone. How do I get rid of them? And I don’t even know how I got them back. Was it Dad? A parting ‘gift’ from Mum? One of my siblings? Someone or something else? I don’t know. I have no clue and it just makes me feel...dirty. Chained. Shackled. Like my whole life is now just someone else’s to control once again and I...I don’t... Why?!”

And now he was upset. He made his way back over to the couch and slumped himself into it, head buried in his hands as he tried to control his breathing through his too tight chest.

“I don’t know what you can do, Lucifer. I have never had wings. This is something very new to me. But, I can help you to deal with the emotions you feel over them.”

He lifted his head up and looked at her. “I don’t even know why I feel this way. It’s not like I was...”

“Was...?”

“You know, actually violated. I wasn’t raped. My mind wasn’t touched. I don’t understand why I would feel violated on something like this.”

Linda held up a hand. “Lucifer, your feelings of being violated are very much legitimate. Violation comes from having control taken away from you, which is what happened. You have stated several times that you feel out of control. Your dream was having what control you do have over what happened stripped from you and it got someone you care about killed. That came about because you lost control during a time you thought you had finally gained it back. Nothing you’re feeling is inappropriate or wrong.”

Hearing that had the strangest effect on him. He felt relieved that what he was feeling was normal and not him blowing things way out of proportion. It also made him utterly miserable. When away from Chloe, after all, he was supposed to be invulnerable. How could he have let this happen?

“You didn’t. It was done to you while you were unconscious. You had no say and no control. The decision was completely out of your hands. There was nothing you could have done.”

He hadn’t realised he’d said that last bit out loud, but Linda answered him anyway. It was also the last thing he wanted to hear when he was so upset. Shit, he had avoided crying in sessions until now.

He tried to hide it, but was doing a really bad job of it. An arm touched his and he hadn’t even noticed that Linda had come to sit beside him.

“Hey, it’s okay to be upset. Crying is good. Tissues are on the table in front of you.”

He looked through tear blurred eyes to where she was talking about and, yep, he was so out of it he hadn’t noticed she had moved them to the coffee table right in front of him.

He looked at her and shrugged. “Thanks,” he replied, not knowing what else to say.

He spent the rest of his time in there calming down.

Stupid thing was he did feel a little better.

“So, what do I do now?’ he asked, as he got up to go towards the door.

Linda smiled at him. “Now, you go live your life. Take back what you can of your control. Your life is yours, Lucifer, regardless of whether you have wings or not. No one can take that from you. And I will be here to talk through whatever problems you have along the way.”

He nodded at that, before leaving and going home. He wanted to be alone and think for the rest of the day...

Chapter Text

Lucifer was enjoying a night of drinking, dancing and making deals with the patrons of his club when he spotted Linda at the bar.

Since she had begun spending a lot more of her spare time out with Amenadiel, it actually felt a bit off that she was here in Lux, instead of out with his brother doing date things. He had imagined how often the two of them met up in secret and had several times wished to erase his mind of where his thoughts would go.

He knew far too much of what Linda liked during sex for him to not imagine the two of them in bed together. He truly did not want to think of his brother having sex with anyone, let alone his therapist. He had tried drowning out his stupid desire attuned brain and got as drunk as he possibly could in return.

He wound up sitting beside her after a bit of time mingling with the crowd. He grinned widely at her. “Hello, Doctor Linda. And what have I done to get you here tonight?”

She stared at him, eyes slightly out of focus. That concerned him. She hadn’t gotten drunk like this at Lux in quite a while now. He now understood that it had been a coping mechanism after her stabbing. She went back to her drink instead of answering him.

“Linda...? What’s wrong?’

She took a deep breath, before draining what was left in her glass. “I broke things off with Amenadiel.”

That surprised him, because those two desired each other all over the place. He felt it every time his brother’s name come up in a session. Even drunk and after breaking up with him he still felt it, just as strong. “Oh? That’s not what I thought you would say. Why? The two of you were happy.”

She sighed and her head thudded against the bar. “We were keeping the relationship secret from Maze. She found out.”

He nodded. “I thought that was what the mess with her running out of the restaurant in tears was about. She’s always been a bit...upset over it. I should have listened to her when she wanted to talk about it but I was kind of stuck and after the Sinnerman at that time. She hasn’t mentioned it in quite a while now.”

Linda groaned. “I have no idea when she found out...but that whole blind date was a nightmare...”

Lucifer nodded at her side, even though she couldn’t see. “Well, why don’t you come upstairs with me and you can drink in private. I doubt this is a conversation to have right out in public like this. And, I have been told my ice cream is quite good.”

She looked up at him and blinked blearily in confusion. “Ice cream...?”

He nodded happily. “Yeah, you know. Comfy blanket, ice cream, alcohol. Maybe some Netflix playing in the background. I did that with Candy all the time. Comfort talk.”

“What...?”

He sighed and shook his head. “’Okay, we’ll leave out the alcohol, because you have had quite enough for tonight. Come on, up. My couch beckons.”

She got to her feet slowly. That was good, because Lucifer knew she was uncoordinated while drunk, and had a habit of passing out if she had drunk too much. He slipped his arm around one of hers and walked her to the lift up to his flat.

She didn’t say a word to him during the ride up only taking cues from him.

He left her on the couch, wrapped up and comfy on one side of his couch, before heading to the kitchen to get out some ice cream. For drinks, he went for hot chocolate. Hot beverage, cold food. They didn’t really go together in his mind, but they were both comforting to humans, or so he heard. Candy had liked the chocolate drink more than alcohol.

He grabbed two spoons quickly after he had made the drinks and went to join Linda.

She was crying by the time he got back in the room. He put everything down on the table, opened the lid on the ice cream and dipped in the spoons. He grabbed at the remote for the television and put on the first show that popped up.

He had forgotten the last person to get at the television was Beatrice. So, for background noise they ended up listening to brightly coloured ponies learning about friendship.

He grabbed a drink in each hand, holding one out to Linda. “Hot chocolate. Better than alcohol, or so I hear. Drink that first and then there’s going to be the ice cream. I got vanilla only at the moment, so sorry about not having any other flavours in. Candy liked rocky road.”

Linda sniffed and wiped her eyes with a corner of the blanket, before holding onto the drink and taking a sip. “Mmm, it’s good. You don’t have to do this, you know?”

He stared at her, while covering himself one handed in his own big, fluffy blanket. He took a sip of his own and sighed in contentment. “I like making things to eat and drink, what can I say? And no, I don’t have to do this. I choose to do this. I actually enjoy it sometimes.”

Linda stared at him in surprise. “You do this often?”

He grinned. “Like I said, I did it in place of sex with Candy. Our marriage wasn’t romantic or sexual in nature. It was a marriage of convenience for both of us. Closest we got was kissing. But most of the time was this. I found out it could make you feel better. So, comfort time.”

Linda snorted into her drink at that, “That actually surprises me. The ice cream is going to melt.”

Lucifer shrugs. “Ice cream melted tastes good still. Hot chocolate gone cold is a waste.”

Linda hummed at that one, before nodding her head.

He settled down on the couch next to her and turned his gaze to the ponies. “Beatrice is making me watch this show. I think she feels it will teach me something about friendship. I like Rarity. She is into fashion and looking good.”

Linda giggled and shook her head. “Will Trixie be angry you’re watching ahead of her?”

Lucifer laughed at that. “I doubt it. I think she wants me to, actually. It’s weird. Ponies are not this colourful.”

“Really, that’s what you have a problem with? Not them talking or doing things with hooves that shouldn’t be doable.”

He shook his head. “Nah, that’s cartoon logic. And ponies do talk and have their own personalities, like these ones do. I don’t understand why they couldn’t look more like ponies though.”

Linda hummed again, before sipping at her drink. “Why are you doing this, Lucifer?”

He looked at her, finished of his drink and put down his mug. “Because doing this is what helped me when I was still reeling from the whole Chloe being made for me fiasco. I understand why you would break things off, even though the two of you were happy, and why he’d agree with it. You both know Maze too well, both of you are close to her. She really didn’t want the two of you getting together. I think she felt like she would lose you both if that happened. Finding out really hurt everyone involved in this mess.”

She sighed and finished off her drink, before reaching for the ice cream. “I don’t mind vanilla.”

He smiled at her. “That’s good.”

They fell into silence for a minute, looking at but not paying attention to the show playing on the screen in front of them.

“Lucifer,” she asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them. “What do I do?’

He looked at her, and laid his head on top of hers. “You apologise to Maze. You tell her that you broke it off with Amenadiel. You tell her that you never meant to hurt her. And then you pray that she accepts it all and doesn’t want to torture you.”

She snuggled up to his side and sighed. “Yeah. Not that the date night wasn’t torture, because trust me, it was. Do you...can I pray to you?”

He blinked at that, because no one had ever asked him that before. He tended to not get prayers from devil worshippers, as they weren’t necessarily praying to him, but a fictional character they thought was him. But Linda knew him as who he was. And though he did resent it a little he was still an angel.

He grinned at the television. “Pray to me if you want. If there’s anything I can do, I will. Even if it is a sign that you want another night like this one.”

She giggled again, before getting closer to him. “You, Lucifer, are a good man. Now let’s eat some ice cream and watch brightly coloured ponies.”

He smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head. “Your desire is accepted and approved of.”

With that, they both grabbed a spoon in the ice cream and begun eating the frozen treat.

By the time two episodes of the show was over, Linda had eaten her fill and had fallen asleep against his side. He softly eased her out of his arms, and tucked the blanket around her, before putting away what was left of the ice cream and washing out the two mugs.

He did plan on going down to the club again when Linda left, but it was soon apparent that she was staying the night. Instead, he curled up on the other side of the couch and watched a child’s show about friendship.

He hadn’t felt this content in a long time.