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“Tell me again why you always have to take the dwarf up these maker-damned mountains. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make the ground vertical?”
Hawke normally would have chuckled and replied to Varric’s complaining with a witty retort, but his attention was currently consumed by the slender elf in front of him. It had been months since he had felt the touch of Fenris’ skin. He could still remember the feel of etched lyrium, the smell of his snowy white hair, the curl of his body next to his…. He shook his head and glanced nervously around hoping no one had seen how intently he was gazing at Fenris’ back side. Isabela caught his glance and gave him a knowing smirk. Hawke sighed, thankful that the pirate had at least kept her mouth shut.
At first, Fenris had taken great care to avoid Hawke. Never allowing them to be alone. Refusing to engage in more than basic small talk. And although things were finally starting to feel somewhat normal again, the mere sound of Fenris’ voice still sent shivers down Hawke’s spine. Fenris insisted that they remain apart, yet he continued to wear that red ribbon. However confusing, Hawke couldn’t help but have a little hope.
“Is this the cave?” Fenris called back as they neared a dead end in the rocky cliff face, the only way forward a small crevice in the rock.
“Who knows,” Varric huffed, “everything looks the same out here. If it’s not the one we were looking for, chances are, we’ll at least find something to kill in there. This is the wounded coast after all.”
“You’re always the optimist, Varric,” Isabella laughed.
Hawke, again lost in thought, missed the entire exchange and ran straight into Fenris, nearly knocking them both other.
Fenris steadied himself and caught the mage, now stumbling over himself.
“Fenris! I- I’m sorry… I wasn't paying attention… are you alright?” Hawke stuttered.
“I’m fine, Hawke.” Fenris replied, smiling mischievously, his hand still on Hawke’s arm.
“Right,” Hawke replied. It was all he could manage to say, his attention consumed by Fenris’ hand still resting on his bicep. Fenris gave him a questioning look and followed Hawke’s gaze to his own hand. Noticing that he had not yet broken contact, Fenris quickly tore his hand away as if Hawke’s arm had suddenly burnt him. He then cleared his throat and turned away in an attempt to hide his reddening ears.
“Well, if you two are done fondling each other, can we get on with the slaver hunting?” Isabela said, throwing an arm around Hawke’s shoulders and playfully giving him a jab in the ribs.
The entrance to the cave was incredibly thin and as the group shimmed through, Hawke once again found himself lost in thoughts of Fenris. It didn’t help that the confined space had them pressed against one another on several occasions.
Once through the tunnel entrance, the cave opened up into a large corridor which split off into two smaller passageways. Varric sighed as he lit a torch. “You know what I hate more than mountains? Caves.”
“Oh, nonsense!” said Isabela. “This will be fun! Varric, you and I will go this way, and Hawke and Fenris can explore that way. Cover more ground and all that!” She gave a quick wink to Hawke, and without waiting for a response she grabbed hold of Varric’s arm and pulled him down the first tunnel.
Fenris and Hawke stood motionless watching their compatriots disappear into the darkness. Hawke finally cleared his throat and gestured toward the second tunnel. “Shall we?”
Fenris nodded and the two headed off in silence. The cave seemed endless and the awkward silence between them seemed almost palpable. Just as Hawke thought he could bear it no longer and opened his mouth to say something, there was a loud clattering just ahead around a bend. “Quick!” Hawke whispered and pulled Fenris into a small crevice in the wall.
“Since when do we hide?” Fenris whispered furiously.
“Since we are in a dark cave and have no idea what we are up against,” Hawke said, although he really wasn’t sure why he had chosen to pull the two of them aside. He was never one to duck and cover, even in dark caves. The clattering grew and footsteps grew louder until they finally make out Varric’s voice.
“No! Bianca would never betray me like that! Would, ya, baby?”
“Oh, come on! Just once?” Isabela purred. “She needs a woman’s touch. I know she’d love it.”
Fenris glared at Hawke as Varric and Isabela made their way past their hiding spot and continued on back toward the mouth of the cave.
“Well what do you know, the tunnels just make up one big loop,” Hawke chuckled nervously. Fenris continued to glower, but made no move to get up.
Hawke then realized just how close they were, crouched together in the tight crevice. Although not touching, he could feel Fenris’ breath on his face. Feel the heat coming off of his small frame. He swallowed hard. “Well, I suppose we should-”
And suddenly, Fenris was upon him. His gauntleted hand carefully knitting through Hawke’s hair pulling him ever closer. His lips crushing against Hawke’s mouth, begging, needing, like a drowning man gasping for air. Hawke wrapped an arm around Fenris’ waist and Fenris placed another hand at the back of Hawke's neck cradling his head as he continued to desperately kiss the man. Hawke kissed him back with just as much fervor; their lips screaming everything they wished they could say to one another. I miss you. I need you. I’m sorry.
And as quickly as it had begun, Fenris abruptly broke away, his eyes wide as if he too was surprised by his actions. “Hawke, I…”
“There you two are!” Isabella called out as she and Varric rounded the corner once more.
“Yes,” Fenris all but panted, scrambling away from Hawke. “It seems you were right, Varric. This was the wrong cave.”