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Lance laid in bed, curled around his pillow, waiting for sleep to come. His eyes were filled with tears as he squeezed them shut tightly, heart beating a fast staccato in his chest as his mind raced with ideas of his family, Allura, Shiro, and most surprising of all, Keith.
The last time he had seen Keith had been on screen as they prepared for battle with the Galra once more. His heart has leapt into his throat to see Keith standing dutifully next to Kolivan, but Keith’s gaze hadn’t lingered on him for even a moment- keeping his stony faced turned to the planning at hand. Which is why it was so weird to have him back in the castle.
After they returned from Oriande, they had been hailed by Keith, asking for safe passage to return to meet with them. Everyone happily agreed, but Lance couldn’t place why his heart was suddenly beating so fast at the thought of seeing Keith in the flesh again. They had a lot to talk about- Keith almost killing himself, Sam Holt, Lotor and his scheming, and apparently, Keith found his mother.
Keith had docked and entered the castle with his normal grace and poise, meaning a beautiful landing followed by what could be described as a ‘emo stomp’ out of the craft, but he wasn’t the only heat signature on board.
“Looks like another Blade member came with,” Pidge said, as she scanned his ship, following the protocol they had set up.
“I wonder what discussion could only take place in person,” Allura interjected, hands folded politely in front of her.
None of them could have been prepared for who was actually with him. Keith and the other Blade exited their ship and Keith was immediately enveloped in a hug. Surprisingly, it was Hunk who beat the rest of them over to Keith.
I thought it would have been Shiro... yet another thing that didn’t seem quite right.
Pidge quickly joined Hunk, spewing frantically about how they missed Keith and were glad to finally see him again. Lance could see Keith peeking over their shoulders at Shiro and could feel his own frown as his eyes narrowed at the current black paladin.
Lance himself was caught, he ached to hug, and touch Keith, but it would be awkward. It wasn’t something they did. Not Keith and Lance. After Allura and Coran had their rounds with him, he went in and placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder.
“It’s really good to see you, buddy,” he said, quieter and softer than he had intended. The private, tired smile on his face was the most genuine one he had had in months and he knew it.
“You too,” Keith had said, surprising Lance by pulling him into his own hug as well. Lance immediately gave in, wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders and burying his face into Keith’s hair for a moment. He felt Keith tuck his face into his shoulder, nose mashed against Lance’s shoulder. Tears began prickling the edge of his eyes, so Lance pulled away slightly, squeezing his arms tightly around Keith before dropping his arms back to his side. The smile Keith looked up at him with was blinding.
Lance stepped back several inches, restraining himself from pulling Keith back in. Keith’s smile drooped again when he caught sight of Shiro, still behind Lance. His steely resolve was present on his face as he walked up to Shiro and stuck his hand out.
“Good to see you,” Keith said, waiting for Shiro to somehow respond. Shiro coughed awkwardly before gripping Keith’s hand and pulling him in for a hug.
“It’s good to see you alive.” Shiro said, dropping the hug just as quickly as he had pulled Keith in.
Allura, ever one to keep the conversation on schedule, turned back to the second Blade member, who was still standing on the ramp exiting the ship.
“Welcome to the Castle of Lions. We are glad to have you with us. My name is-”
“Princess Allura, I am aware.” The Blade said, finally making her way down towards the group but not saying another word.
“Guys,” Keith started, drifting towards the center of the makeshift circle they had found themselves in, “this is Krolia.”
“A new Blade?” Coran asked, stepping in to shake Krolia’s hand.
“An old one,” Keith said with pinched eyebrows and fidgeting hands. “She’s- uh- mm- what I’m trying to say is,” he took a deep breath, “Krolia-”
“I’m his mother,” Krolia said, dropping Coran’s hand and making her way over to Keith.
The room was silent. Keith smiled up at Krolia, and then back at the rest of the group. Lance tried to gauge the reactions of the others, but there wasn’t much besides shock and stilted movements. He could clearly see the resemblance between the two- she looked like a more galran Keith. The sharp chin, the draw eyebrows and steely eyes. It was indisputable that she was his mother. Lance strode up to Krolia.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, sticking his hand out to greet her as Coran had done, “I’m Lance, the bl- red paladin.”
She greeted Lance but turned to Keith as she spoke, “I thought you were the red paladin?”
“Uhh,” was all Keith seemed to be able to muster, eyes widening as the gears in his head turned a mile a minute.
“He is,” is all Lance said as he dropped Krolia’s hand, “but so am I. It’s a funny story actually, well, not too funny, more of a sad story but-”
“I’m not a paladin anymore.” Again the room fell to silence.
“Hah,” Lance laughed, resting a hand on Keith’s shoulder again, “when did you get so funny? Where was this humor before?”
“Seriously, Lance. I haven’t been a paladin for a while- I’m a Blade now.” It took all of Lance’s resolve not to break out into an argument with Keith. He just got back, I don’t want to fight already. But the steady look on Keith’s face begged to be challenged, and Lance wouldn’t be Lance if he just left it alone.
“I’m sure Red would have something to say about that,” is what he decided on, dropping his hand from Keith’s shoulder to rest it on his own popped hip. Keith’s eyebrows drew together in a way that seemed so alien to the feeling of the moments before, but so familiar to the thousands of times Lance had seen this expression.
“I’m not coming back, the Blades need me,” he said, getting into Lance’s face, the looking around at the rest of the silent party. “And I need them,” he glanced up at Krolia, a small smile gracing his face once more. Krolia’s expression didn’t reciprocate the gesture.
“I’m not saying you are coming back,” Lance said voice rising, annoyance present through his stark tone, “but you will always be a part of this team. Whether you’re here or not, you are a part of this family. Being a paladin is about more than just flying a lion, you should know that by now.” By the end of his mini rant, Lance’s voice had softened out again, and his hand was back on Keith’s shoulder. Keith’s expression had softened too, meeting Lance’s gaze with a hopeful look in his eyes.
“Yeah, dumbass,” Pidge called, running up and hugging him again, “you’ll always be my favorite emo brother, don’t you forget.”
Hunk came up behind Lance and squished the three of them into a hug. “You guys,” he started, eyes teary, “you’re making me cry!” Lance’s chest was pushed against Keith’s while the hand that had been on his shoulder was forced to snake around his back. Their faces were right next to one another, and Lance could feel and hear the small laugh that Keith exhaled as Hunk squeezed them tight.
“Hunk,” Lance managed to wheeze, face red from a combination of being in close proximity to Keith and from the force of Hunk’s hug, “how about we get this man, and his lovely mother, a beautiful home cooked meal, eh?”
“Ooh!” Hunk said, letting the others out of his grasp, “There’s a lot of new spices I got in a package from Olkarion I want to try! Pidge, want to help?”
“ Okay ,” Pidge said, finally letting go of Keith, putting a very weird inflection Lance couldn’t understand into her words, “we’ll call you when it’s ready.”
“Lance,” Allura said as they others began trailing off, “why don’t you and Keith show Krolia around? I’m sure she’d like to familiarize herself with the building.”
“Sure! We can start with the training room?” Lance asked. Shit, I’m standing way too close still. He took a step back and rubbed awkwardly at the back of his head.
Keith just nodded, looking Lance up and down for a quick moment before saying, “let’s go.”
The walk to the deck wasn’t all that awkward, except for the fact that there was very little talking. Lance tried his best to start any form of conversation from Keith, and in turn Krolia
“... and here is the training deck, our initial destination,” he said spinning to Krolia. “This is where Keith can be found most of the time,” the doors opened with a whoosh as Lance stage whispered to Krolia, “I thought about just moving his bed in here for him.”
“Hey!” interjected Keith, “I’m not here that much.”
“Nah,” Lance conceded, “not anymore. But in the beginning-”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Krolia let out a small laugh at their antics, stepping further into the room. “Could I see a demonstration? I know how Keith fights, but it would be an honor to observe you, red paladin.”
Lance’s face grew hot under the compliment, “Yeah, of course!” he said, “I’m not the best at close combat so I’ll start with some ranged shooting.” And then maybe show off my new sword in front of Keith.
“Lance is the team’s sharpshooter. He’s extremely talented,” Keith said, ushering Krolia off to the side as Lance summoned his bayard and willed it to take the shape of a riffle.
“Begin training sequence 7,” he called out, watching as the attack orbs dropped down from the ceiling and began swarming around.
Lance could hear Keith off in the distance explaining the training codes to Krolia, and almost missed the beginning of the sequence. The orbs had just started shooting when his riffle let out its first blast. His precision was as good as always, a couple of stray shots missing due to the pacing of the orbs, but he managed to knock out a few before the distance cycle began.
Lance thought of the cycles like an old 8-bit shooter, like Galaga. The orbs would come in waves, moving away first, then back in, then personal. He had to take out enough that by the time they were close enough to slice, he wouldn’t be overwhelmed with the sword work he had to do.
The orbs started flying away and he willed his bayard to sniper form. The long, red barrel took shape, and he immediately began firing. His precision with this was a lot better, but there were still about 8 orbs he needed to take out by the last cycle. They moved in.
“Lance, don’t let them get too close!” Keith shouted. That’s exactly where I want them. “Put up your shield!”
Lance shot Keith a smirk and a wink, just as the orbs began converging on him, “Watch this, samurai!” His bayard shifted into the long broadsword he had grown familiar with- its weight comfortable and powerful in his hands. He dropped his weight, centering his gravity lower so that he could throw his weight around through the sword. He sliced through the air, relying on his existing flexibility and newfound quickness to take out the remaining orbs.
He took a second to catch his breath, resting his unequipped hand on his hip, and pointing the sword out to the side. He looked back at Keith, to see his mouth dropped open in a distinctly un-Keith-like way. Lance could feel a small smirk twitch on his face as Keith made his way towards him.
“What!” he yelled, throwing his hands up, “Lance, what the fuck!”
“You like?” Lance asked, spinning around in a circle making a chopping motion through the air.
“A sword!” Keith exclaimed. Lance held onto the hilt, but extended his sword arm out for Keith to examine.
“It’s an Altean broadsword. Alfor used one like it, or so Allura says.” He looked past Keith, who was now fondling his weapon, to meet Krolia’s amused gaze, “your son has quite an affinity for pointy objects.”
“We have that in common,” she said, stepping closer again to the two of them. “That was a truly remarkable display, paladin. Your mastery of your bayard is quite spectacular to see in person.”
“Lance,” he said, “you can just call me Lance, if you want. Paladin seems too formal.”
“Okay, Lance,” she tested out, “I can see why Keith admires you as much as he does. He has talked a great deal about his team here, but his anecdotes of you seem to be held in higher esteem than the rest.”
Lance felt his eyes bug out of his head as he met Keith’s gaze. A smile was stretched across his face as he let out an, “Aww, Keith! You do care!” and pulled him into a tight hug, making sure to disable his bayard first, of course.
“Stop,” Keith replied, with little heat behind it. Keith returned the hug for a moment before swiftly dropping low and flipping Lance over his shoulder. Lance hit the ground with a thud as an exhale of air swept through his lungs. He was met with Keith’s smiling face looming over him.
Wow.
He took the offered hand of help and when he was halfway to his feet, went limp, dragging Keith to the floor with his prone body. Keith hit the floor with an, “oof,” before turning his incredulous expression towards Lance.
“Idiot,” he said, pushing himself off of the floor, “see if I’ll help you up again.”
Lance let out a laugh and quickly rose to his feet on his own. He had forgotten Krolia’s presence for a moment, to caught up in goofing off with Keith. He met her eyes.
“Well, how about we continue with the rest of the tour?” he stumbled out as he headed towards the exit. His face was on fire, from more than just the physical exertion, though that didn’t help.
“Gladly,” she replied following him to the exit.
The rest of the tour was much more relaxed, no more displays of skill on Lance’s part, just a scenic walking tour of the castle, filled with jibes made between Keith and Lance. Before Keith had showed up, Lance hadn’t realized how lonely he really was. Pidge and Hunk didn’t mean to exclude him, but they seemed to be on the same wavelength more often than not, unintentionally leaving Lance behind. Spending group time with Shiro was out of the question, so any one on one time was unfathomable, and Allura was too preoccupied learning Altean Alchemy.
His only solace lately had been Coran. After the drug incident, Lance had made sure to keep a closer eye on Coran, worried about the possibility of something similar happening again. But his relationship with Coran reminded him of an uncle more than a friend- and he really needed a friend.
Goofing off with Keith filled a void he didn’t know he had until it was overflowing, unable to be capped. His mood had improved tenfold since Keith’s arrival- the smile stretching across his face felt more genuine than it had in a long while.
They were just finishing up their full circle of the castle when Pidge hailed them over the speakers, “Hey guys, uhhh-,” there was a muffled crash in the distance, followed by Hunk shouting, “we ran into some issues here in the kitchen so it’ll be another 45 minutes or so.”
Perfect, Lance thought, and for once it wasn’t sarcastic.
“Thanks, Pidge!” Lance called back, sure she was listening in to their hallway. “I’ve got a surprise,” he said, turning to Keith and Krolia. He was met with twin looks of confusion.”Think you’d be up for visiting your favorite girl?”
“Lance,” Keith began, face shifting from excited confusion to a more tired sadness, “I don’t think she-”
“Hey,” Lance cut him off, resting a hand on his shoulder, I’ve been doing that a lot lately, “she wants to see you.”
“I- I don’t-” Keith backed out of his reach.
“Close your eyes and reach out, she’s still there.” Keith closed his eyes for a second, eyebrows knitting together. In the blink of an eye his frown turned up slightly as he communicated telepathically with Red.
“Krolia,” Lance said, “how would you feel about meeting the red lion?”
“I’d be honored.”
“Alrighty!” Lance said, leading the way through the twisting hallways down to Red’s hangar, “We have a more direct route in case of emergencies, but this is what one would call the ‘visitor’s entrance.’”
As they made their way closer to the hangar, Lance could feel Red’s excitement spreading throughout him. It started in the back of his mind, a barely there push of need and want in reaction to Keith’s presence. By the time they were outside the door, his whole body was thrumming with her excitement. He wasn’t sure if it was him or her screaming Keith! in his head- if he was being honest, it was probably a mix of both.
When the doors slid open, Keith’s typical canter turned into a slow jog as he made his way over to Red. She bent down in one swift movement, opening her jaw for Keith to enter. He looked back at Lance and Krolia, but both of them waved off his confused glance as he entered Red. Lance took to leaning on a nearby pile of equipment, stretching his legs in front of him as he sat. He tried his best not to look at Krolia, but his gaze was drawn to her only to find she was already staring at him intently.
Yep, definitely Keith’s mother.
He was about to open his mouth to break the silence, but Krolia beat him to it.
“Keith cares about you very deeply,” is all she said, letting it hang in the air and drift into Lance’s brain.
“I- he- I mean- uhhh,” he replied, caught up in the blatant nature of her words. Her bluntness was preventing his mind from catching up with his need to turn thoughts into coherent sentences “Me too,” is what he settled on.
It was silent for another thirty seconds before Krolia spoke again, “I am happy to have him in my life, and I wish for it to stay that way.” Their eyes connected. “That’s why I am leaving the Blade.”
“What?” That makes no sense, she left Keith as a baby for the Blade! The cause is obviously important to her, so wh-
“In the past, I did not choose my son. I am not making the same mistake again. The Blade would see our bond as a weakness, where I know it can be a strength. So, I am leaving.”
“Does Kei-”
“Obviously not. I was hoping to show him what he is missing here before I told him. At the moment, you are all more important to him than I am- you are his family. Right now, I am just... just a stranger with the title of his mother. I am so grateful that he found you all- I feared he would be ostracised for who he is and never truly fit in. He-”
“He didn’t.” Lance interjected.
“What?”
“On Earth, he didn’t fit in. He was always above everyone else, just that much better, and there was always something... different about him. But everyone was drawn to him. I spent a long time hating him for that, but it turns out I was just as drawn to him as the rest.”
“He is drawn to you as well.”
“Hah... yeah. We antagonize each other quite a bit.” Lance wasn’t sure exactly when their antagonization had turned more friendly, but he wouldn’t change how they got there for anything.
“I wish to be a part of his family,” she stated, dropping her eyes to the ground, “I want to know him as Keith, not as another Blade member.”
“Well,” Lance started, shifting a bit closer, catching her eye, “I am sure the rest of the team would be happy to have you here. You’re not the first purple alien we have on board on a more... permanent basis,” He finished the last with such disdain in his voice, he hoped Lotor would be able to feel it from wherever he was holed up at the moment.
“We will have to discuss it with them,” she sighed, slouching down and mirroring Lance’s position. She had about a foot on Lance, so her legs went much further out, but still containing the same composition of relaxation.
“You’ll have to discuss it with Keith first,” Lance chuckled, flicking his eyes to Red. She hadn’t moved since accepting Keith several minutes ago, and when Lance reached out, he could feel her contentedness. She didn’t seem eager to let Keith go within the next few minutes, she felt settled. “He’s the biggest hot-head I know, and he’s stubborn. Good luck with that conversation.”
She chuckled. “I’m afraid that both those traits are my doing. Fortunately, I don’t think it’ll take him all that much convincing to return. He just needs to see how important he is to you- to your team.”
“We’ll have no problem showing him,” Lance replied as he heard footsteps approaching them from down the ramp.
“Showing who what?” Keith called out, exiting Red’s mouth to see his mother and his friend slouched together in casual conversation.
“Show you up with our sword skills!” Lance called out, flexing to show off his biceps.
Keith scoffed, “Krolia? Sure. You? No way.”
“Well,” Lance said, reaching out to clap Keith on the shoulder, “we’ll just have to see about that. You up for some sparring later?”
Lance’s biggest fear was being rejected by Keith. He had come to know this through experience during his time at the Garrison, their time in Voltron together, all the late nights he stayed awake thinking about Keith’s smile and his mullet and his... anyway, he knew himself well enough to know he was terrified of rejection. Even the simple act of corralling Keith into sparing with him later set his heart a blaze and kicked his anxiety up several notches.
“Bring it, sharpshooter.” It was as if he was shocked his Blue’s ice ray, the pressure building inside him burst forth in the form of a splitting grin as his heart rate returned to normal.
“Oh, it will be brought , samurai,” He dropped his hand from Keith’s shoulders to make finger guns in his direction as they departed from the hangar. Krolia chuckled behind them.
“How was Red?” Lance asked as the doors to the hanger shut behind their group.
“She uh... was good,” Keith responded, deftly not meeting Lance’s eye.
“She reamed you out, didn’t she?”
“What! No! Of course not!”
“You forget,” Lance said, stopping in his tracks. He leaned down slightly to whisper in Keith’s ear, “she’s in my head too.” He cuffed Keith round the back of his head before jumping out of his reach and turning around. Walking backwards, he announced, “We’re probably good to head to the dining hall now,” while jumping back out of Keith’s reach as he kept lunging.
Keith chased him ahead for a second, finally pinning him against a wall. “Ass,” he said, lightly slapping Lance in the face. Lance craned his neck up, trying to get out of Keith’s reach, but it was to no avail.
“Krolia, help! Your son is attacking me!”
“It seems you deserve it,” she said, “Nice pin, Keith.” Lance could barely make out the wink she sent to Keith, but Keith’s flushed face and immediate removal of himself from Lance’s space clued Lance in.
“Alright,” Lace said, “Let’s get some grub.”
Lance let Krolia walk between them on the way to the dining hall.
-----
Lance had had a bit of time to change out of his armor into his street clothes before dinner, and was glad to have a small break away from Keith and the emotions interacting with him frequently stirred up.
Dinner was an... interesting affair.
It started out a little awkward, seeing as the others weren’t exactly sure how to react to Krolia just yet. But if Lance was good at anything, it was defusing awkward situations. Midway through, he had everyone laughing along with his anecdotes, happily fulfilling the role of comic relief for the night,
“... and then, he said, ‘McClain, I know you stole that frog from the Biology lab, you just put a fake beard on it! Hand it over!’ So I said, ‘Well, Dr. Dester, can you prove this frog is from Bio lab? Hmm?’ and he said, ‘Well, no.’ and I said, ‘Innocent until proven guilty, no proof, no conviction!’ and then ran off.”
The rest of the table was cracking up. Hunk had tears in his eyes, Pidge was rolling on the floor, Allura and Coran were giggling (politely, of course), Krolia had let out a couple of deep laughs, even Shiro had managed a chuckle (which seemed out of character for him as of late), and Keith. Keith was laughing so hard he had doubled over and leaned into Lance as he talked. Lance looked down at him as he finished, catching the tear falling from his squeezed eyes.
I need to talk with him.
“Hot damn, Lance!” Pidge yelled from the floor, “I totally forgot about that!”
“Me too!” Hunk added, “But now I remember you getting caught the next week trying to pull the same heist twice.”
“What can I say,” Lance said, smirking, “I was an idiot back then.”
“Was?” Keith joked, jostling Lance with his elbow.
It was silent again for a moment as everyone enjoyed their food. Unfortunately, it was Shiro who broke the silence.
“It’s no wonder Iverson hated you so much,” he said, staring down at his plate, “The reckless abandon of rules as well as your poor attitude in the simulator would have given him every reason to.” Shiro’s sharp gazed turned on Lance. Lance’s heart was in his throat as he looked back down at his plate, stomach plummeting. His appetite for both food and attention had dried up in a split second.
“Hah, yeah,” he replied, no humor in his voice. The rest of the table was still silent. He felt tears prickling at the back of his eyes, Why would he say that? He hated Iverson, we always used to rag on that old dirtball, and now he’s taking his side? Over a harmless prank that happened literal years ago? Why won’t anyone say something? I-
A hand squeezed his right knee. He hadn’t noticed Keith moving his arm from his atop the table to below it, and thankfully everyone else’s averted gaze didn’t catch the motion either. Lance carefully moved his hand on top of Keith’s, squeezing back. He caught Keith’s eye. The look he wore conveyed a multitude of emotions but the gist of it was: what the fuck? Lance shrugged sadly, letting go of Keith’s hand to return to eating.
“So Hunk,” Keith said, breaking the tense silence, “Lance tells me you made this meal with a bunch of new ingredients from Olkarion. How long did it take for you to make it taste this good?”
“Oh man,” Hunk jumped in, “You wouldn’t believe the amount of trial and error I had to go through to work with this stuff. The first time...” and just like that, the group was back to talking all over one another. The fun air that had been present before had all but disappeared, but the rest of the group was making an effort to regain the momentum.
The rest of dinner was much the same, good conversation with some awkward pauses. Krolia shared the story of her reunion with Keith, pointing out his bravery and quickness. Keith preened under her praise. He left his hand on Lance’s knee through the rest of dinner.
----
Dinner had devolved into an impromptu game night, full of more laughter and shared stories. They had played several of Allura’s favorite Altean party games, which were like some unholy combination of charades and hide and go seek. They wound down the night by playing Never Have I Ever... one of Lance’s personal favorites.
The game had been going on for all of thirty seconds before Lance was singled out.
“Never have I ever worn a face mask to sleep,” Pidge shared proudly, staring down Lance.
“Oof! You wound me, Pidgeon. My masks would do wonders for your complexion.” Pidge chuckled and rolled her eyes.
“Oh my turn!” Hunk said, “Never have I ever crashed the simulator at the Garrison.”
“Wow, you guys really are just singling me out! And you weren’t a pilot so there’s no way you could have been the one to crash.” Lance laughed, putting on a fake pout. He put a finger down, noticing Keith was the only other one to do so. “You too, Keithy? I knew you weren’t the golden boy everyone talked you up to be back then.”
“Actually, it was when I was paired with a engineer who refused to work with me for some reason,” Keith shared, “They wouldn’t tell me the status of the craft.”
“Ooooh, see Hunk! This wasn’t only on me, put a finger down!” Lance shouted, doing a little dance.
“Okay, okay, fine,” he made a show of putting down one finger, his first one of the night, “happy?”
Lance just nodded, mood brightened by the silly antics of his friends. The next voice came out quickly and harshly.
“Never have I ever been the reason someone left Team Voltron,” Shiro’s voiced seemed to echo in now quiet room., or maybe it was just in Lance’s head. Lance sucked in a breath, unable to meet anyone's eyes. He went to put a finger down.
“Stop,” Keith said, grabbing at his arm, “I didn’t leave because of you.” Lance’s heart soared for a moment, but was quickly trapped in his throat. “I left because I was more useful to the Blade. Don’t even joke about that, Shiro.” He said, staring the black paladin down.
“Nah, it’s fine,” Lance said shaking Lance’s arm off, “It’s just a part of the ‘pick on Lance’ game, I get it.” He let out a sad laugh. “I think that’s going to do it for me,” he continued, picking himself up off the floor. “Krolia, it was a pleasure to meet you,” he turned towards where she sat, away from the main group who were playing, “I hope you enjoy your visit to the castle and get the chance to talk to everyone here, there really a great bunch,” he willed his eyes to convey the message ‘and talk to Keith about leaving the Blade,’ and her returning nod seemed to agree.
“Night guys.” With that, he walked briskly from the common room, not waiting for a response.
As soon as the doors shut behind him, he picked up the pace, until he was almost running. His thoughts ran as quickly as his feet. Why does he keep doing this? Am I not good enough? I know I’m not- I’m not Keith, but he can’t expect me to be! I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
He made it to his room in record time, quickly stripping out of his clothes and climbing into bed. It was only under the covers, in the darkness of his room that he let himself finally cry. Tears of sadness for the way his leader was treating him, tears of annoyance that his friends did nothing to stop it.
It was like back in junior high when he used to test his friends loyalty, imperceptibly. He would do things like lag behind the group, or not talk during hang outs, simply replying with nods or shakes of his heads. It was a way to see who in his group of friends would reach out, see if he was okay. It was a backhanded way to get attention. It always backfired. No one stopped to notice that Lance had ended up lagging behind by a half a block. No one had thought twice about Lance not speaking for hours on end, probably happy not to listen to his loud mouth. Everytime he tested his friends, he got the results he feared and ended up drawing away regardless.
He thought that this distance had stopped with Hunk, and then with Pidge, and even with Allura. He never guessed the only one to stick up for him would have been Keith. He cried even harder. He was losing his friends, one by one, to each other and bigger and better things. Pidge and Hunk had each other, and by extension Matt, to talk to and goof around with, they didn’t need Lance coming in and messing everything up. Plus, sometimes he just got tired of not knowing what they were talking about. He didn’t ask and they didn’t offer any explanations, the only way Lance knew how to deal with it was to not at all. Allura had Lotor and her newfound powers to sort through, she didn’t need Lance distracting her from her true greatness. And now Keith had Krolia, he had everything he had wanted- he found his true family. Would he really need Lance anymore? Did he ever need him in the first place?
Lance’s crying had devolved from the wet sobs it had started with, to an emotionless trickle down his face. The emotions running high in his brain seemed to shut off with one thought.
I can’t let it get to me, he resolved, I have to be better. I will be better.
He took several deep breaths, hoping to calm his heart rate down. Somewhere within that short time, he fell asleep.
It seemed only moments later, he was awake. He sat up right in bed, a feeling of unease settling in his bones as he moved to turn on the light. He checked the time to see it was about 12 a.m., an hour after he left the group. He looked around, trying to pinpoint the source of his unease. There was a knock on his door.
“Lance,” Keith’s voice floated from the other side, “open up.”
He swiftly got to his feet and smacked the panel, sending the door to the side and revealing a haggard looking Keith.
“Hey, man... what’s up?” he asked moving to the side to let Keith in. He rubbed at his eyes, shutting the door again behind his guest, flicking the light on low so there was an eerie cast to the room.
Keith made a beeline for his bed, softly sitting on the edge, perched about to fall off.
“C’mon,” Lance said, plopping down next to him, “Scootch back.” He grabbed at Keith’s shoulder, nudging it until his back hit the wall. Keith grabbed his hand.
“I’m sorry,” he said, black hair falling in his eyes as he hung his head, “I should have stopped Shiro at dinner. He shouldn’t say those things to you.”
“Thanks,” Lance replied, squeezing Keith’s hand in response, “but its fine. That’s just how things have been around here since...” he trailed off. The unspoken ‘you left’ hung in the air between them.
“It shouldn’t have to be like this,” Keith said, positioning himself so he could look at Lance, “you shouldn’t be afraid to be yourself with the team. That’s not how it should operate.”
“Yeah, well,” Lance replied, bitterness creeping into his voice, “not everyone sees it that way, apparently. I just...” he trailed off with a sigh.
“Tell me,” Keith said, squeezing his hand once more, “tell me what’s been happening. I don’t know if I can fix it unless you tell me how bad it has been.”
Lance hesitated. He wanted to tell Keith, to trust him with everything, but before now his fears have never been spoken into existence. He wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. It wasn’t his blind faith in Keith that got him to speak, but his inherent trust in the boy that sat beside him, tenderly cradling his hand in the darkness of midnight.
“Shiro- he- I don’t know. He’s... off. He doesn’t listen to us, least of all me. I was a good right hand man, right?” He asked, tender gaze meeting Keith’s.
“We- I would have failed without your help, Lance.”
“See? But Shiro, he doesn’t need me. He’s rude, and abrasive, and he doesn’t listen to the rest of the team either! He does what he wants, and forces us to go along with his shitty, dangerous plans with him. Everyone is on edge because of it, but no one will talk to him...” he trailed off again, collecting his thoughts on how to say the next part, “and he’s... he’s unkind. What you saw was pretty mild to how he’s been treating me during strategy meetings. I thought I was imagining it, no one else responded to it, so I thought... I thought it was just me seeing it. That I was too sensitive and not strong enough to-”
“No,” Keith said, shifting again so that he could grab at both of Lance’s shoulders, “You are not weak . They way he has been treating you is not okay, I know how you’re feeling. When I was flying Black I felt like he- uhh,” he paused, casting his eyes away for a moment, “it felt like he didn’t trust me, with anything. Every decision I made was wrong in totality, not in part. Really, he should have been the one to put his finger down.”
Lance shared a sad smile with Keith, settling his hands against Keith’s waist and quickly pulling him in for a hug. Keith moved his hands around Lance’s back, returning the hug with a strong ferocity, Lance felt his insides cracking.
“We should have talked like this back then,” he snuffled into Keith shoulder, stroking up and down his back, “maybe you wouldn’t have left.”
“Maybe,” Keith said, laying his head on Lance’s shoulder, “maybe I can come back.”
Lance’s hands stilled on Keith’s back as he pulled away, wanting to meet Keith’s eyes. “What happened to, ‘I’m not a paladin, Lance. I belong with the Blade, Lance’?” He asked, mocking Keith with a deep tone that sounded nothing like the boy he was wrapped up with.
“I don’t sound like that,” Keith laughed flopping his head back against Lance’s shoulder. The room was silent for a minute, only the sounds of them breathing made their way into the chilly room.
“Krolia,” Keith said, “She wants us to leave the Blade.”
“I know. She told me when you were in Red.”
“Is that why you two were getting along so well?”
“Part of it,” Lance smiled, tugging Keith down so they were laying next to each other. “Why do you want to leave?”
“I want to have a relationship with her,” he said, moving to lay on his back as he spoke, “I used to think I would be most helpful with the Blade, but... I don’t think I care anymore.”
Lance paused for a moment, settling a hand into Keith’s hair to brush it away from his face. “What do you mean?”
“When she asked me to leave, I wasn’t angry. I was just... relieved. I thought that the only way I would get to know her is if I stayed with the Blade, but she wants to leave just as much as I do. The Blade wouldn’t let us care about each other the way she wants to- they’d see our bond as a weakness.”
Lance recalled his conversation with Krolia earlier. ‘ The Blade would see our bond as a weakness, where I know it can be a strength,’ she had said.
“They’re wrong. Our bonds make us stronger,” Lance replied, turning Keith’s face to meet his eye, “not weaker.”
Keith’s eyes sparkled in the darkness, filled with emotion ready to run over at any moment. He shifted so that his body was facing Lance, resting a hand on Lance’s arm as he did so.
“Our bond is pretty strong,” he said, shifting closer. Lance hoped to every god out there that Keith was talking about the two of them.
“I knew it’d be something unbreakable from that first bonding moment. Y’know,” Lance went on, “when you cradled me in your arms?” He gestured down to their current position with his eyes.
“God,” Keith said, “You little shit. I can’t believe you denied it for so long.”
“No point in denying it now, is there?” he replied, moving ever closer. They were inches away.
“No,” Keith whispered, “there’s not.”
Lance wasn’t sure which one of them closed the distance first, all he knew was that he was finally, finally , kissing Keith Kogane, after one of the most emotionally charged talks of his life. They met in a chaste kiss, just a press of lips against his and a strong hand clutching to his arm. He shifted his hand into Keith’s hair, slipping his fingers through his soft locks, shifting himself to meet Keith at a different angle. The maneuver was awkward, their noses bumping and lips off center, while Keith’s hand slipped, accidentally pushing into Lance’s gut. He pulled back.
“That was,” Keith started.
“Pretty terrible,” Lance finished. They giggled together, Lance resting his forehead against Keith’s.
“God,” Keith giggled, “I can’t believe our first kiss was... that. ” They laughed again.
“Y’know what?” Lance said, sitting up, Keith mimicking his action, “I refuse.”
“What?”
“I refuse to let that be our first kiss,” Lance said, knitting his eyebrows together and he grabbed Keith by the shoulders, “Our story is too grand and amazing to let our first kiss be that.. blah. ”
“Okay...,” Keith said, confusion evident in his voice and expression, “what should we do?”
“I am so glad you asked,” Lacne replied, “C’mere.” He pulled Keith until he was seated in Lance’s lap. “Good, now we’re the same height.”
Keith slapped his shoulder, “I’m not that much shorter than you!” In all reality, Lance carried his height in his legs, meaning having Keith in his lap made Keith the taller one. Strangely enough, he didn’t have a problem with it in this situation.
He brushed Keith’s bangs away from his face, “Close your eyes.” Keith complied. He slid Keith’s arms over his shoulders then slid his own arms around Keith’s waist. A mirror of their hug from earlier, when he discovered having Keith’s arms draped around his shoulders was his new favorite sensation. He kept his eyes open long enough to make sure his aim would be accurate before closing the distance between them.
When their lips met this time, Keith’s arms tightened minutely around Lance and he let out a sigh. Lance tightened his own embrace in return, and softly moved his lips with Keith’s. This time, the slow movements and solid embraced kept them from bumping into one another. They started with chaste, soft movements, keeping the pace slow. Keith eventually moved a hand into Lance’s hair, playing with the strands at the back of his neck, and Lance began softly moving his hands up and down Keith’s back.
Somewhere along the way, their soft touches and gentle caresses turned to more solid movements. Keith’s became slight tugs and Lance’s exploration lead to Keith’s rucked up t-shirt, exploring the skin of his back. Their lips met more solidly and frequently, quickly moving with one another, over and over. A soft gasp lead to more fervent movements, and eventually they found themselves laying down again.
Lance caught his hand wandering into territory he wasn’t yet ready to broach and he pulled away reluctantly. Keith chased him for a moment, eyes still closed as he sought after Lance. He couldn’t deny Keith, but he kept his kiss chaste and quick, pulling away again.
“That,” he stated, “was one hell of a first kiss.”
Keith stared at him for a moment, lips red and hair askew (well, more so than usual). “Wow,” was all he said before he laid down next to Lance, reaching a hand out to take one of his.
“Wow is right, Kogane,” Lance said, sending him a wink, “and there’s a lot more where that came from.”
Keith’s face seemed to flush darker.
“Just so you know,” Lance continued, “I like you, like, really like you. Like, romantically. Like-”
“Stop,” Keith cut him off, “don’t say like again, you sound like a valley girl.” Lance laughed, pressing a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “But, I like you too.”
“Awesome,” Lance replied, yawning and pulling Keith close to him.
“You should go to sleep,” Keith said, wriggling out of his grasp in an attempt to stand.
Lance held him tighter, thwarting his efforts by pulling Keith into him, “Well, wouldn’t be so tired if someone hadn’t woken me up!” he joked.
Keith laughed, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll let you get back to your beauty sleep, not that you need it.”
“Gasp! Was that a compliment? Dare I say, are you flirting with me?” Lance asked, letting go of Keith for a moment to put a hand over his heart in mock surprise.
“There’s a lot more where that came from,” Keith replied, winking back at Lance. He managed to get up into a seated position without Lance holding him down.
“Wait,” Lance said in soft voice, one he usually reserved for his family, open and cautious, “stay.”
Keith responded with a smile, “Okay.” Lance smiled back.
“But,” he sighed, gesturing to Keith’s legs, “please take your jeans off first.”
Keith laughed, standing up long enough to shuck his jeans before climbing back into bed. Lance reached around them and plunged them into total darkness.
Lance was bone tired, ready to put the emotional drama of the day behind him. He knew he would still have to deal with his friends and Shiro and Lotor tomorrow, but tonight he was content to just lay with Keith, to hold the boy who had become so important to him in his arms. He knew that whatever they had to face the next day, Keith would be there, by his side to back him up.
As Keith laid back down, Lance pulled him into his arms, nudging him until his back was spooned up against Lance’s front. He draped his arm around Keith’s middle, and Keith met his hand, entwining their fingers together.
On the edge of sleep, Lance whispered again to Keith, “Stay.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”