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To the King of Shadows,
I am always by your side, I follow your every command and you get upset when I have any sort of fun. We spend so much time together, more than you spend with your wife, though you feel nothing towards me. The Fairy Court knows Titania hasn’t slept with you since we made her fall in love with an ass-headed patch. Yet, I am a but a toy to you, and in response, the world is a toy to me. How long have we been alive? Or rather, how long have we existed? I see these mortals and witness…. dumb, happy, emotionful lives and feel jealous. If Titania was not your other half, would we be lovers? Or would you be content with absolute power and not need me to play with? Oberon, you have a problem, you seek attention from your wife in a childish manner, playing pranks while thinking you are superior as if Titania and I have no power, we are but low and little to you, are we not?...Through all this still, I know that I love you.
It’s sick, an emotion like that for a being like you? A king that cheats and argues with his wife? A fairy that goes so far as to turn his other half to fall in love with half beasts? Yes, I do play with mortals, but they are beneath us. Are we not of a higher breeding? Of course, we are, you know it to be true, Oderon. Heh, the King of Shadows! Hark, I do wonder if you too feel this void as I do, this ever perpetuating nothingness. So long have I been alive I fear it is only existing. Existing and searching for truth that I do not own. This nothingness wakes me up at night, makes my blood turn lukewarm, it has my mind in a whirlwind of never-ending thoughts about what is it to be Puck? To be Robin Goodfellow, the right-hand man of the King of Shadows. The god of mischief. So far I have been pining after a man that will never find me as anything but a foal. To you, I am a child. I am a nothing, I doubt you feel for me even as a friend.
Now that I have bared my heart, or what’s left of it, what shall you do? Strike me with lighting? Plunge me into the darkest depths of the universe where no one will know that Robin Goodfellow fancied his master? No, perhaps you will laugh and mock me, make others do the same. The whole fairy court could find me their new scapegoat, but the contents of this letter will not change. Trust what I say, for it is few and far between I let myself think too deeply. Oberon, you see how rare it is for me to tell any self-truth, yet you don’t seem to mind not hearing my thoughts.
Titania is kinder than you are to me, she has beared hearing my woes, though she too treats me as a child, it is not so patronizing I can’t bear it. Ah yes, she knows Oberon and she swore she wouldn’t tell. Are you jealous now? Oh of those long nights you could find neither of us, while we were sipping silenus, sharing the weight of loving you. During one of those long nights, Titania and I had a bit too much, with that added courage, our filters flew out into the dark night. We shared our secrets. She told me what it would take to forgive you, what it would take for you to see that Indian boy once more. Haha! But I won’t tell you, not now, not in this letter. This letter that began as a proclamation and turned to my spilling of secrets. How much you must be laughing, or raging? Oh, King of Shadows are you upset now? Well, that would be a triumph. Such a reaction from a King who plays with my emotions for sport. This is getting fun! Sometimes I watch you sleep, or take longer than I should with a task just to get you to pay attention to me. Is that childish? Who knows? Who cares? Not I.
You can do what you will with that information, just know that how you react will change just how much I torment you, or...maybe I will simply disappear. My mood does change often…..But not about you. There are some truths I hold now, that I have not held close enough before. Having admitted this I am stronger now. For I am Puck. I am the God of Mischief and I am in love with you Oberon.
Truly, Goodfellow.