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“You’re my--"
The realization hit Keith like a smack to the face. A really hard one, at that. Silently, unblinking, he stared at the fierce woman in front of him he had met a merely ten minutes ago. He had known from when he first met her, that there was something familiar about her. Something longing, faded. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.
Keith had been so confused when she said, “I left you once, I’ll never leave you again.” He just met this woman, what the actual quiznack was she talking about? Plus, she never left in the first place.
Now he understood. This woman was his-
“Mom?”
The word was a quiet, confused whisper. He stared, wide eyes, at the woman who he had wondered about all his life. He remembers a hazy summer night, he was laying on his dad's chest, gazing up at the stars with him. He remembers the innocent question, “Hey dad, where’s mom? Everyone else has one.”
His dad had responded with a pained look, scrunching up his brows as he heaved a deep sigh, “She's in the stars, Keith.” Of course, this confused the six year old, because, how could someone be in the stars? Wow, his mom must’ve been really important.
A few months later, his dad disappeared.
Oh how naïve was he. He had grown up, thinking that his mother left him because he wasn't important enough her to want him. He had grown up without someone to love. Without someone to cheer him up when he was down. Without a mother.
Now, she was standing right in front him.
“You..” he trails off, struggling to force out a proper sentence. What was he even supposed to say ?
“You left.”
At the two words, she flinches, pain floods her expression, as she sets her eyes down downcast, apparently not even having the decency to look him in the eyes. “Keith-"
“No! You-you left me. Why?” He asks, hating the way his voice cracks. Hates how he sounds so broken. He feels his eyes burn slightly, but forces the tears down.
He would not cry in front of her. He was strong.
She rolls her lip between her teeth in an act of nervousness, “I didn’t..I never wanted to leave you, Keith. But, I had no choice. I’m...sorry.”
“ You’re sorry? Of course you had a choice! You could've chose to stay! But you left! ” He nearly yells, feeling the anger start to brew inside of him, swirling inside and gathering up into something ugly.
“Keith, you have to understand that I wanted to keep you safe . I left you with your father back on earth because I couldn't risk your safety.” She says, clearly trying to keep her voice steady, unwavering.
“Couldn't you have taken me with you?” He desperately asks, even though he knew it wasn't that easy. “No, I couldn't have. I wouldn't have. You looked a lot more like a human than a galra, so you have to understand that I had to leave you with your father on earth to keep you safe. I couldn't risk your safety for my selfish desires.”
“My father is dead !” Keith snaps, he feels his breathing become faster, frantic. “Do you even know how it feels to grow up alone? Fostered? I use to cry myself to sleep at night, waiting for dad to come back. I was completely alone. Do you know how that feels, Krolia?”
Keith squeezes his eyes shut, putting his mask back on and turning around. He didn't want to see whatever expression that she was wearing. The burning in his eyes was becoming increasingly painful, yet he growled stubbornly and blinked the wetness away.
“Keith…” She whispers, voice quiet and tight. It was pretty clear she was trying to stay composed for his sake. “I'm so sorry about your father. If I would've known something would happen to him, I would have made a better choice.”
But that doesn't mean I would have left. The words are left unspoken, but clearly there. Keith purses his lips, gritting his teeth together in frustration. Finally, Keith feels the anger dissipate from his body, only leaving sadness and a quiet ache.
It’s silent for a while, the tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife.
“Did you even love him?”
The question leaves Keith’s lips before he can stop himself. He needs to know. Needs to know if she loved them at all.
“Yes, I loved your father dearly. And you too, Keith.” Despite the sadness in her voice, you could hear the fondness and compassion, and it only made Keith's heart squeeze painfully.
“Then why did you leave?”
He asks again, even though he already knows the answer.
“Keith, I won't ask you to forgive me for that, and you probably never will. I don't blame you. But I wasn't going to risk your safety for my selfish desires. I know I haven't earned the right for you to call me a mother, but I’m trying, Keith. I really am. I needed to keep the universe safe, for you . So it could be safe for you. I’m sorry for everything I might have put you through, and for all the pain I've put you through. I’m truly sorry. And I promise from now on, I'll be the mother you always deserved, my beautiful boy.”
Keith blinks, feeling the hot stream of tears finally spill out of his eyes and over his cheeks, dampening them. He's glad no one else can see it.
His mother's words cause a flurry of emotion in him, so many things at once, and he feels suddenly overwhelmed. Despite all that, he feels his lips move, forming a single word.
“Okay.”
He doesn't really know why he says it maybe acceptance, maybe closure. And even though it might take some time, heart to hearts, love, and care he thinks that maybe just maybe, he can learn to forgive his mother.
So, he'll take it. One step at a time.