Chapter Text
Beginning
“Would you like to hold her?” the queen asks.
She's not acting out of sentimentality, Kurapika is aware of that. She's not the kind of proud mother that enjoys showing off her daughter to random strangers. There's only one purpose in her actions when she lifts her sleeping baby into his waiting arms. She's trying to manipulate him, just like she did earlier when she tricked him into thinking her notification was from prince Halkenburg. It's just a scheme to appear to his compassion but he can't blame her, not really, because—it's working. For the first time in months he feels like he might have found something meaningful in his life, something actually worth protecting and it's terrifying and redeeming all at once.
—
Duty
Panic, chaos, egoism, mutual backstabbing, bloodshed—that's what Bhavimaina expected from the younger princes when the succession war was announced. Instead, he sees a queen crying and grieving over the death of one of her daughters’ competitors and a bodyguard working against all odds to achieve cooperation and truces. It almost makes him want to believe that a peaceful solution is indeed possible. But Bhavimaina spent years preparing for this moment and believing in fairy tales is a luxury he cannot afford, not when the future of his whole country is at stake. It's his duty to serve prince Benjamin and see him become the next king and he won't allow himself to falter.
—
Foot
After everyone settled to continue the second Nen lesson there's yet another short moment of shock and confusion when the bodyguard of 14th prince Woble suddenly and violently stomps his foot on a spider, expression grim and jaw set, like he's intend on obliterating an evil being instead of a small harmless arachnid.
What was that all about?, thinks Sakata, bodyguard of 3rd prince Zhang Lei, I have to interrogate him about this incident later.
Dude, that was sick , thinks Slacker, bodyguard of 2nd queen Duazul, looks like this guy has some serious issues.
Thank God he killed that thing before I saw it, thinks Iraludia, maid of 11th prince Fugetsu, I would've screamed otherwise and then everyone would have thought there's another snake attack.
His aura suddenly spiked, much like that of a specialist, thinks Yurikov, bodyguard of 1st prince Benjamin, huhuhu, I'm all excited now!
How odd, there was no Nen attached to that spider, why did he react so violently?, thinks Bhavimaina, another bodyguard of 1st prince Benjamin, does this have anything to do with the cockroach the queen controlled earlier? I have to observe more.
I still don't trust him, thinks Maor, captain of the guards of 5th prince Tsubeppa, is this a part of his plan to kill us all?
Fufufu, thinks Vereleinte, bodyguard of 13th prince Maryam, that was actually really cute.
—
Head
“I think you've been staring at this long enough,” Oito says, and when she's prying the jar with Pairo’s head out of his stiff hands it's only due to the kindness in her voice and her touch that he doesn't start kicking and screaming and breaking in front of her.
—
Fall
There's no hesitation when he jumps down the cliff, when the wind surges past him as he falls deeper and deeper down. He feels no fear, only glee and excitement and a mild pang of irony when it's a silk web of all things that stops his descent. And when he snatches one of the eggs together with Gon and Leorio and the other contestants, when the upwind sets in and carries them back to safety he knows This is it, that's what I was looking for when I dreamed about traveling the world as a kid.
If only Pairo could be here with him.
—
Peace
He didn't cry when he buried his brethren and he never cried once in the long seven years that followed but he allows himself to cry now, in the safety of Leorio’s arms. It's painful and exhausting but it's also salvation and when he finally falls asleep from fatigue his eyes are a calm peaceful brown.
—
Strange
As a member of the Zodiacs he now has almost free access to the Hunter database. He makes use of that privilege in his third week to look up Sheila's name during a break between meetings. He's a bit shocked when the results come with absolutely nothing. The reports about the Kurta massacre mentioned a female Hunter and the description matched with Sheila's looks perfectly. There should be some data about her but when he asks Mizaistom and Cheadle they can't remember an appropriate Hunter Exam applicant. He doesn't have enough time to really dwell on this inconsistency—he's got his hands full organizing the new exam and a boat trip to the dark continent—but it's a sad thought nonetheless that Sheila apparently never got to fulfill her dream to become a Hunter.
—
Metal
He wakes to the familiar sound of his rattling chains and the rather unfamiliar feeling of a weight pressing down on him. There's nothing oppressive about the presence, which is why he doesn't snap into alert immediately but he still can't just ignore it and drop back to sleep. He opens his eyes and a happy squeal welcomes him—Woble’s sitting on his lap, his chains jingling in her hands while her round, chubby face beams up at him. She must have untangled the chains from his wrist somehow while he slept. He doesn't mind her holding Holy Chain and Dowsing Chain but the others are very sharp-edged at the end and he doesn't want her to hurt herself.
“Hey,” he greets softly, prompting another joyful squeal. Woble doesn't break eye contact as he slowly reaches out for her—then suddenly pops the ball of Dowsing Chain in her mouth like some kind of candy. He's too baffled to react at first, then he almost hyperventilates at the thought of how many germs she probably just swallowed. Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit!, is all he can think and in his panic he dismisses all of his chains at once.
Woble immediately starts wailing.
“So she licked your chains, huh?” Leorio comments later, and, for whatever unfathomable reason, starts to wiggle his eyebrows at him. Idiot. “Looks like she's taking after you.”
—
Drink
Chrollo isn't sure what exactly drives him to approach the chain user. It's unwise to deal with an enemy when the deaths of Shalnark and Kortopi are still so fresh and his hurt and anger about losing them still so raw but he can't help it. When he spotted the familiar blond mane among a crowd in Swaldani City earlier it left too much of an impact, felt too much like fate to just ignore it.
Now he's boring his way through the bar he's seen the Kurta enter two hours ago, a bottle of scotch in his hand. The bar setting surely is surprising, he wouldn't have picked Kurapika for the type of person that goes to bars in their free time but his judgment seems to fail him recently.
Kurapika's still there, sitting perched on a table in a faraway corner. Despite his best efforts to keep his emotions reined in he must've slipped somehow, because Kurapika immediately raises his head to let his eyes roam over the crowd. He tries to give it the pretense of just aimlessly looking around in boredom but Chrollo knows better. Kurapika's eyes narrow suspiciously once they make contact with his; he's wearing colored contacts again. There's no recognition in his gaze though, Chrollo put on a disguise with his ability Convert Hands before entering the bar.
He stops in front of the table and asks, “May I sit here?”
“I'm afraid I'm not in the mood for company today.”
“That’s too bad. I really wanted to talk to you.”
Kurapika leans back in his chair. His left hand is curled around the glass of his drink. The right arm is positioned on the chair’s armrest, the right hand, the one with his chains, hidden beneath the table top. That's certainly no coincidence. He stares at him for a while, trying—and failing—to make sense of his approach. He takes a sip of his drink. Tries to make Chrollo uncomfortable with his silence. It won't work.
“And why,” Kurapika finally asks, “would you want to talk to me?”
“Because,” Chrollo puts the bottle on the table and allows himself a smile, he finally believes to understand, “you look just as miserable as I feel.”
—
Door
It's almost 3 in the morning when he arrives at Leorio’s hotel room. It's taken too much time to get here—he's got too much time to think during his walk—and now he's standing in front of the shabby wooden door, hesitating, resolve undermined by his same old doubts, the same old cowardice that’d made him ignore Leorio’s phone calls for far too long.
But his reasons to hesitate aren't entirely invalid. When he'd started to put Leorio at bay he did it to protect him from his enemies—enemies that still are a very real threat, even more so now that the chain around Lulcifer’s heart is gone. The thought that he might endanger Leorio because of their friendship is terrifying beyond words, but then again, he'd already accepted the offer to join the Zodiacs. Avoiding him will be almost impossible for the next few months and probably pointless too. Is all the hurt he's obviously putting Leorio through even worth it, now that they're planning a voyage with very low chances of return and survival?
He takes another step, hand outstretched, but still, he's wavering.
And then the door is pulled open from the inside. Just like that, his choice is taken away from him.
Leorio stands in the doorway, posture sagged, suit disheveled and shadows beneath his eyes, but apart from those signs of tiredness he looks fine.
“Kurapika,” he asks, squinting down at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Why are you still up?” Kurapika retorts. The question comes out more brusque than intended due to his inner turmoil.
“I was studying—I thought I've felt your aura—Wait a sec, why do I have to justify myself when you're the one who's been looming in front of my door like a creep?” He's pointing an accusing finger at Kurapika but his reproachful posture deflates after a while. “Hey, are you alright?” Leorio asks, obviously worried now.
The lie is ready on Kurapika's tongue but he chokes it down—he doesn't want to lie anymore—but it's also not fair to dump his emotional mess on Leorio like that.
“Kurapika,” Leorio presses again and suddenly it's too much, he can't hold it in anymore.
“I've called Gon.”
“Huh?”
“I've called him to apologize for not visiting him when he was … you know.”
“Well … you didn't know how bad of a state he was in.” It's almost funny how Leorio’s coming to his defence now when he was so eager to accuse him of bailing on Gon just a few days ago.
“Anyway, I've called to apologize. It's just, I never got the chance to apologize because suddenly he apologized to me! To me! Can you imagine?”
Leorio opens his mouth, eyes wide, but his words fail him.
“He apologized because he now ‘understands how it feels when you want to kill someone so badly because they killed someone you loved’ and because he ‘had no right to ask me to never go after the Phantom Troupe again.’”
“Kurapika—”
“And then he told me what he did to beat that Chimera Ant and—Gods, I didn't know. It's my fault.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Can't you see?!” Kurapika hates the hysterical edge in his voice but he can't stop, Leorio has to understand. “I was the one who told him about restrictions! If I didn't he wouldn't have—and why did they allow them to fight against the ants in the first place?! They're kids, Leorio! And stop looking at me like that, I don't deserve—”
“Kurapika!” Leorio says again and he reaches out for him and takes his hand, the grip gentle yet strong, just as his voice, just as the look in his eyes. “Come in.”