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Fenris woke up to the sound of rain. The morning was chilly and, peeking outside the narrow windows, he saw the dark and heavy clouds and quickly concluded whatever excursion Hawke had planned for that morning would be postponed and that meant he could spend a few more minutes in bed. He shifted under his covers, pulling them closer and shut his eyes again. He wasn't particularly disappointed about it... Hawke had some errands around town and after it, he was going to the Dalish camp do a favor for Merrill and Fenris never liked visiting the dalish. But still, it was a shame he wouldn't be spending the day with Hawke...
I wish the rain would stop..., he thought before dozing off again.
A knock on the front door woke him up this time. He couldn't tell if minutes or hours had passed, but he didn't hear rain anymore. Still dizzy, he sat on the bed, shivering when his feet touched the cold floor.
Another knock, this time followed by a voice calling out his name. It was Hawke... Was he still planning to go out in that weather?
Fenris wore a white shirt with long sleeves that belonged to the person who lived there before. And whoever that was, he was definitely bigger than Fenris. Most of the clothes left in the mansion had been eaten by moths, but some were still decent and he weren't in a position to deny free clothing. The shirt was not warm enough, though and he crossed his arms to shield his body from the cold, walking as fast and he could and making a mental note to start wearing shoes - or at least socks - during cold days. He opened the door and was greeted by a smiling Garrett.
"Is something wrong?", the elf asked when Hawke's smile slowly turned into a surprised stare.
"N-no. Nothing." his voiced cracked, but he smiled again, waving his hand in front of his face, as if shooing away whatever thoughts he just had. "May I come in?", he asked and Fenris stepped to the side, allowing him to enter.
The fireplace in the living room didn't work, so in the very rare occurrences someone came over, Fenris invited them to the master bedroom upstair, one of the few rooms that was still habitable and not completely covered in mold and spores.
He'd been living there for two years and used his share of the Deep Roads expedition reward to try making the place more comfortable, but because he hated the idea of having strangers walking around the place he lived in, he refused to hire workers and chose to do all the repair himself. That is, until Hawke volunteered to help. Ever since, they started spending a lot of time together and Fenris got used to the man's presence, his voice, the sound of his laugh. He enjoyed listening to Hawke tell him about the jobs he took and what his life was before coming to Kirkwall.
Fenris also noticed changes in himself. For one, he was talking a lot more than he ever used to. One night, he arrived home with a sore throat because he had spent too much time talking. Another thing that changed was his mood. Even if Varric still said he looked gloomy, broody or grumpy, most times Fenris didn't feel like that at all... Actually, he felt so at ease he even started telling jokes. And when everybody gathered at the tavern, he surprised himself with the sound of his own laugh... Five years after his escape, he was finally having a real taste of freedom...
They sat on the bench in front of the fire, warming their hands against the heat.
"Did I wake you up? I wouldn't have come if I knew you were resting-"
"Ah, no-"
"-but I'm glad I did.", he smirked at Fenris confused expression, "You have a very cute sleepy face."
"Oh."
He did it again. Flirting so casually... Fenris never understood how Hawke could do it so easily or how he should react. Flirting was something extremely strange to him. He had seen people courting before, but he mostly found the whole thing pathetic and even pitiful. I mean, if two people wanted to be in a closer relationship, why play around it? Why waste time with awkward banter and bashful gazing when they could just be direct about it? But now Hawke and him had been doing that exact same thing for the past two years and turns out he didn't find their courting game unpleasant - which didn't mean he was any good at it, of course.
"You don't plan on climbing Sundermount today, do you?", the elf asked, breaking the silence.
"Oh, no. That whole mountain should have turned to mud after all that rain."
"So... Why are you here?"
“Well, I did some errands and then I thought I wonder what my good buddy Fenris is up to”
The elf rolled his eyes and Garrett let out a sigh. “Alright, I didn’t want to be home. Mother keeps making plans for me to meet every available woman in Hightown, saying that I’m not getting any younger and she won’t last forever and now that Carver is not here, I’m her last hope of ever having grandchildren… I can’t take it anymore, Fenris. Just let me hide here for a while!”
“She does make a fine point. You are the head of the family.”
“Don’t take her side!”, he whined in defeat.
“I’m not” he stood up to grab an apple from the fruit basket on the table “but I suppose it is expected of you to carry on the family name through marriage? That is how things work in the Imperium, anyway. Responsibility before sentimentality.”
“That sounds awful.”, Hawke remarked quietly, still staring at the now weakened flames and used his own magic to feed the fire.
Sometimes Fenris forgot Garrett was a mage and it still caught him by surprise when he used magic randomly outside of battle like that. He let his eyes linger on Hawke’s back, his broad shoulders, waistline, the nape of his neck; for a moment he even wondered how it would feel like to run his fingers through his black hair. He imagined what would happened if he sat back on that bench, let his head rest on his shoulders… Would Hawke put his arm around him? Kiss the top of his head? And then he imagined Hawke doing the same with a random woman and his insides felt weird and heavy at the idea. He took a bite on the apple and forced his mind to stop creating such ridiculous scenarios.
He couldn’t deny he was attracted to Hawke and he liked the attention he got from him, but he couldn’t allow himself to imagine… To hope. Whatever it was Hawke and him had, it wasn’t serious. It was just innocent and playful flirtations. Hawke was popular and handsome and probably did the same with other people. He knew that. Hawke would never chose someone like him.
“Hey, I think the sun might come out after all!” the mage said, looking at the window and then back at the elf “What do you say we eat lunch together later?”
*****
It was night and Fenris poured the last bit of the wine on the empty glasses. The clouds were scarce now and the stars flickered like tiny glitter dots tossed across the sky. They had decided to go to the balcony to enjoy the cool air over drinks. Hawke had picked the wine himself earlier that day, when they ate together.
“This takes me back… When I was younger, I used to spend hours looking at the night sky before bed, waiting for a shooting star to cross it…”
“Why?”, Fenris frowned in amused confusion “what’s so special about it?”
“You know how they say if you see one and you make a wish, it comes true?”
The elf laughed through his nose,words sluggish from the alcohool “I don’t know who says that, but they are wrong. Stars don’t grant wishes!” he took another sip “If they did, it would be the work of some… Sky demon or… Something.”
Hawke broke into laughter and dropped his head back, resting it on the top of the wooden chair “A sky demon? So, like a dragon? A wish granting dragon? That actually sounds awesome...”
“Perhaps Varric could use this idea in one of his books.”, the elf smirked and Hawke noticed the wetness on his lips. When their eyes met, they lingered in that silent stare for longer than usual.
“I’ve never seen one, though”, the mage cleared his throat. He finished his own drink and turned his eyes back towards the sky.
“Are they very rare?”, Fenris didn’t know much about stars. They were nice to look at, but astronomy was not a particular topic of interest.
“Yes, that’s why some people believe they are a sign from the Maker and they make wishes.”
“Oh…”
“But the dragon idea is a lot better.”
Fenris shook his head and giggled at their new private joke, leaving his own empty glass on the table.
After a pause, he heard Garrett ask him, “What would you wish for?”.
He considered the obvious choice of I would wish for Danarius to drop dead, but for some reason that felt like a silly thing to waste a wish on. He wanted the magister to die by his own hands and not by some magical cosmic force.
He glanced at the man sitting next to him… The way he admired the sky with that peaceful smile was somewhat adorable. I wish to stay by your side… His heart felt like jumping out of his chest when Hawke looked back at him, and for a frightening second, Fenris feared he had said the words out loud… But of course he hadn't! It was just a coincidence. He sighed to calm himself before answering, “It’s a secret".