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Every Now And Then I Fall Apart

Summary:

Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming round

Every now and then
I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears

Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by

Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
Every now and then I fall apart

Notes:

This is for Ennelya who requested from Darcy's POV :)

 

I felt that Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' fits perfectly for what I'm trying to do and I hope that you guys like it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

She threw a phonebook at him. He could have easily dodged it, but he allowed the phonebook to hit him in the chest. He wanted to feel the pain. He needed to feel they physical pain if only to mask the ache in his heart. The sight of her crying hysterically, furiously, was too much to bear. But it was the only way he knew how to keep her safe – he needed to let her go.

.

.

.

.

.

Darcy was sitting quietly on her seat in Jane’s lab. She wasn’t doing anything, just staring blankly into the computer screen. She had made up her mind, and even though Jane had begged her numerous times, threatened her on multiple occasions, Darcy didn’t budge. She couldn’t. She needed to get out of there. Stark Tower, S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ, New York – all of them bore too many memories of laughter, of love and of pain.

 

She hated it that she felt so weak and so vulnerable. She promised herself she would never let a man run her life. She swore she would never allow a man to be a factor in her life decisions. But now, because of a man, she is leaving the work she loves, and the friends who have become family to her … because of a man.

 

She couldn’t face the awkwardness any longer. She couldn’t bear the sympathetic looks from the team any more. She hated that Clint would get a smack on the head whenever he played Total Eclipse of the Heart, and she happened to walk into the room. Goddammit, that was her favourite song! She couldn’t suffer through another moment of either her or Bucky leaving the room when they happen to see each other. Darcy couldn’t stand it that every time she looked into Bucky’s eyes, she only saw emptiness. As if what they had meant nothing to him. And hence, Darcy felt it was necessary for her to leave the past and memories behind and start anew.

 

Darcy didn’t say a word about moving away. With a bunch of spies she calls friends; she didn’t think she needed to. She knew everyone knew that she was leaving, and they knew exactly why. They never said a word. They didn’t have to because they all understood what she was going through. They said their goodbyes and that was all they could do. And Darcy made Natasha swear not to beat up Bucky for being the ass that he was. She didn’t want someone else fighting her battles, even though she couldn't fight her own.

 

Deep in her heart Darcy knew she was doing the right thing. She knew, the only way for her to move on was to move away.

Notes:

I've never been in a relationship hence never been through a heartbreak so I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing here, but I'm basically writing from witnessing heartbreak around me.

I didn't want Darcy to come across as a weakling, and I don't think that falling apart is a sign of weakness. Because from my observations, sometimes people need to move away in order for them to move on. (This was what my ex-roomie went through; she literally had to move to another country to recover from her heartbreak)

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