Chapter Text
Shitposts
Logan: I would like to Introduce my older brother-
Emile: Hello! I'm Dr. Emile Pecani! It's so nice to finally meet you all!
Patton: Hi! *waves*
Roman: Wait... THIS is your brother?! *gestures to Emile* I thought he would be more like- boring...
Virgil: ...
Emile: Oh! i didn't see you there Virgil. Do you how do?
Virgil: ....external crisis.....
Remy/Sleep *grabs Virgi*: COME ON BABY BRO TIME TO PARTY! *runs off*
Virgil: *ScREaMS* PUT ME DOOOOOOOOOWN!
Emile [to Logan]: Can we do that? PLEASE?
Logan: In all the names of Knowledge, NO!
Virgil: one time my brother [Remy/Sleep] turned around with big ass eyes and said to me "You know what's so weird? we've never formally introduced ourselves to each other"
Logan *awkward pat on the back*: There there
Virgil: LIKE WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT?!
Emile: So Oxygen went on a date with potassium today... it went ok
Logan: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium... omg
Emile: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like “NO”
Logan: Wait wasn’t oxygen in a double bond with the hydrogen twins?
Remy/Sleep: Looks like someone’s a HO
Emile: NaBrO
Virgil: I’m done with all of you
*Someone talking shit about Remy*
Virgil: I'm gonna fight you! *Held back by Remy's grip on his hood*
Remy: Now now
*someone talking shit about Virgil*
Remy *Pushes up jacket sleeves and removes sunglasses*:Who wants to befriend THESE FISTS!
Virgil *desperately trying to hold Remy back*: S t o p!
-
*Someone talking shit about Logan*
Emile *friendly smile, murder in eyes*: I beg your pardon.
Logan: Oh brother...
*Someone talking shit about Emile*
Logan: FALSEHOOD! First of all HOW DARE YOU! SECOND OF ALL-
Emile *gently places hands on Logan's shoulders and leads him away*: Come now Kiddo.
Roman: Sooooo Remy~ any good blackmail on Virgil?
Patton: Roman!
Remy *smirks*: Oh gurl! there are loads, but revealing all of them to you would give you to much power, so nah.
Roman: What about Logan, Emile?!
Patton: Roman stop!
Emile: Oh! hmm... there was that one time when we were visiting out grandparents further north during new year and there was snow deep enough to reach the edge of their porch. Logan was little, mom had just dressed him in the winter gear and i think she got back inside to get something, when she came back out Logan was gone, but she found him later in the snow upside down. I found the two of them later, mom dying from laughter as she tried to sooth him.
Patton: aaaaaw, that's adorable
Roman: That was a disappointment, i can't use that against him!
Emile: If you think i'm gonna reveal any good blackmail to you then you are highly mistaken Roman.
Roman: *pouts*
Remy: Virgil got in a fight?!
Remy *running still wearing work clothes*: Virgil! Virgil!
Remy *grabs Virgil's shoulders*: Did you win or lose?
*Thomas to Remy and kid Virgil*
Thomas: Story time!
Thomas: The lad decided to do the honorable thing and share his treat with his brother.
Virgil: *Shoves ice cream onto Remy's face*
Remy: *startled gasp*
Thomas: Story time!
Thomas: Remy knew exactly what to do to embarrass his baby brother.
Remy: *smirks and sends a glance at Virgil before starting to dance* Gurl I Sure do~
Virgil *sees Remy dance*: Ah! *slams hands over face*
Emile *singing*: With a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down *empties spoon of sugar into Logan's food*
Logan: No, I am still going to eat this.
*Virgil's phone rings at 5 am*
Virgil *newly awake*: hmm..? who is it?
Remy *on the other end*: Hi... baby brooo
Virgil *instantly awake*: What did you do now?
Remy: So... I'm lost...
Virgil: We've lived in this city our whole LIFE! HOW THE F DID YOU GET LOST?!
Remy: I have no idea... help?
Virgil: Ugh FINE! But you owe me big time for this
Remy: Love you.
Virgil: Shut up.
Thomas: Disney pranks with friends
Kid Virgil: *sleeping*
Thomas *lifts him up from the bed*: Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
Kid Virgil: I hate you so much!
Remy: *dies from laughter behind the phone*
Virgil: Can't you go any faster? *Pushes Remy forward*
Remy: Oh no! Gravity is increasing on me! *dramatically begins to fall*
Virgil: No, it's not!
Remy: Is too, gurl, the same thing happened like yesterday! *lying on top of Virgil on the floor*
Virgil: You rotten brother! your butt is crushing me!