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“Are you sure your mother doesn’t mind me staying here?”
“Shiro,” Lance sighs, dropping their bags in his closet, “she’s met you before we went to space for five years. She’s fine with it, I promise.”
Still a bit concerned with his presence in the McClain house, he nods before sitting at the edge of the bed. The members of the coalition had just touched down on Earth two weeks ago. Upon their arrival, they sadly couldn’t head home as quickly as they had hoped. There were day-long questionings, interviews, follow-ups with The Galaxy Garrison, and even a single meeting with the President. A lot had to be explained and organized before they could return to their homes for a well-deserved relieve from their previous occupations.
But it was over for now, and everyone was given the time that they deserved to reunite with their more than delighted loved ones. Shiro was happy for all of the young paladins, being able to return to their safe havens. He knew he’d figure his own situation out eventually, but Lance wouldn’t allow him to dawdle about aimlessly for a second.
They put the issue of their relationship status to bed a few years ago, plastering the ‘boyfriend’ label on it as soon as they were comfortable. The forced time together eventually became free will, which formed into something more intimate that they never foresaw.
Lance opening up his home to him wasn’t something that Shiro liked primarily. He felt like he was putting him out, making him uncomfortable in the face of something his boyfriend literally couldn’t avoid.
But Lance insisted; he insisted again, and again, and again, to the point where Shiro couldn’t deny, probably fearful of insulting him.
Maybe it was good that he was here, sheltered and safe from the adversity he had been facing since their return to Earth. He got a lot more than a few side glances from people that passed by. He wasn’t sure if it was his arm, or the colorless patch in his otherwise dark hair, but Shiro knew he was being judged.
And he understood why, certainly. It was unavoidable; he’s practically part alien, the proof staring them dead in the eyes.
There was a news story on him recently, discussing the origins of his hybrid prosthesis and whether he should be trusted with it or not. They had no mercy, neglecting to ignore the mind corruption, the advanced technology the Galra had introduced to the inhabitants of Earth, and whatever else they could nitpick him for.
The barraging wasn’t the same for everyone; it was just him. Again, he understood, he could fully comprehend why they would choose to be more suspicious of him rather than any other paladins, but why?
Why did he have to be the one to take the burden?
“Shiro?”
He jumps from his static position on the bed, shifting back in shock as Lance bounces back in response, hands in the air.
“Shiro…”
God, the look on his face was too much for Shiro to sustain. There was a pain, muddled with confusion and concern for his significant other.
“I, I’m sorry,” he sighs, crossing the distance they made between each other, “I’m just in my head.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
“Come again?”
“I’ve been trying to call you for the past twenty minutes.”
“You have?” He asks, “I’m sorry, god…”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Lance presses an assuring hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently, “wanna talk about it?”
“It’s nothing, I promise,” Shiro tries to dodge the discussion. He doesn’t want to put any more distress or unreasonable worry on his boyfriend. He’s too young to have to deal with the burdens the older man has had for years.
“Shiro, it’s not "nothing". I can tell, and you know I can tell. Whatever reasons you have for keeping your issues from me need to be dropped if we’re going to be in a relationship.”
“Lance I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. It’s just a passing thing, I’ll get over it.”
“It’s because of the looks they give you, isn’t it?”
“Please…” Shiro begs, “I don’t want to impose on you any more than I already have. Can we just go to bed?”
“Shiro, I—I want to be there for you. Please, please let me be there.”
The older man can’t keep up the excuses for long, and he knows that fire that rests in his contrasting crystal blue eyes won’t be quenched unless he answers the right way. Confesses his troubles, allows him to prod in his head a little more than he’s been allowing.
Truthfully, Lance deserves to be let in. The brunette has more than earned it, and to be sitting at Shiro’s side even after the war was an obvious sign of his dedication to the relationship.
“Lance,” A shaky exhale tumbles from his chapped lips, “I…I still see the Galra in my mind, my dreams, my nightmares, they’re everywhere . Every night. More than the war, more than the mind control, the experiments. I see what the result of all of those recurring events was.”
“What was the result of them?”
The mood of the room has changed distinctly, shifting from tense to a controlled comfort, Lance opening up himself to take Shiro in. Reluctantly, he rests his head on his chest, immediate warmth radiating through his body as a nimble hand cards through his hair. It’s grown out, overdue for a haircut, but it’s the least of Shiro’s worries.
“A… a monster, Lance. It was a monster.”
“You’re not a monster. You’re not what the Galra wanted to make you. You’re better than that.”
“The way they look at me tells a different story,” Shiro quivers in the protective arms shielding him, and his lover holds him closer, “no one can make eye contact with me, I…It’s dehumanizing, and it hurts .”
He can feel it, his walls tumbling down as he curls closer into the younger’s warmth, confessions spilling out of his mouth like a waterfall,
“I just want things to go back to normal, I wish I’d never gone to Kerberos if it meant being rejected by my own people . God, I’d take it all back in a second!”
Shiro isn’t sure when he started crying, but the wetness staining Lance’s soft shirt is enough of a sign that he’s officially broken in front of the man he’s grown to love. He can’t be sure of how he’s feeling now, cradling his broken leader in his childhood bedroom.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Lance, you don’t need this.”
“Stop, stop.” Lance shushes him as quickly as he opens his mouth to apologize, “you don’t have to apologize for anything Shiro.”
“But Lance I—”
“Nothing, Shiro. This world? Owes you nothing. In fact, the entire universe has thrown you around like a rag doll, and for you to be sitting here wanting to be accepted by it is ridiculous.”
He decides not to speak, letting the volume of Lance’s words marinate before he formulates a response.
“I love you , Shiro. And if there’s one thing I’m sure of in this world with aliens, and intergalactic wars,” Lance’s hand raises, waving in the air dramatically as he motions to the stars above them, “and space malls , it’s that you are a man that has overcome so much more than what’s expected of you.”
He lays them back down on the bed, skillful fingers continuing to tangle themselves in his hair, snow white along the feathered ends.
“All you need is a break. Forget about the stares, and the judgement, and the dehumanizing, because you’re human and the end of the day. Just, look at me.”
He follows Lance’s instructions, nose buried into his solar plexus as the covers are pulled up past his shoulders. Stormy grey eyes gaze up at him, still smiling easily as if the sun still shone through Shiro’s tears.
“You can always look at me. Don’t be afraid, don’t hide. That’s what they want you to do, more or less. Beat you down, keep you away from the surface. And well I--I’m…rambling. Sorry, you’re probably not following at all.”
“It’s helping,” A watery laugh escapes Shiro’s lips as he closes his eyes, suddenly more than ready for bed as Lance’s warmth progressively relaxes him, lulling him to sleep.
“Okay, good,” he continues, fingertips running smooth circles into Shiro’s back, “at least it’s helping.”
“I love you Lance,” Shiro’s voice tremors, “thank you, I love you.”
“I love you too, Shiro. You’ll always have me.”
The promised is sealed with a soft kiss, words no longer needed as everything Lance wanted to say was expressed through his lips.
Shiro fell asleep, the seas in his mind tamed and calmer than they’d ever been.