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"…and then, hopefully, we can confront Viggo without any further interruption," Hiccup said excitedly. "With you and me and Toothless, he'll have no choice other than to hand back the Dragon Eye! That's it! We did it!"
He walked around the table, still staring down at the model with all those tiny figurines and notes, and ran his hands through his dishevelled hair. "That… that really could work!" He looked up at her, eyes gleaming, and Astrid couldn't help but smile back at him.
But, Odin, she was tired!
They'd spend hours in his hut now. This morning, Heather and Dagur had shown up, and had asked for some help on Berserk Island. There were boulders to be blown up, and a lot of useless wood to be burned down. Ruins of former houses that needed to be removed before new ones could be built. Of course, with Windshear and Shattermaster they would have been able to do all this on their own, but when it came to blowing stuff up and burning things down, nobody was as efficient as Snotlout and the Twins.
Hiccup had been reluctant to go, though. During the past few days, they'd begun to work on a plan to confront Viggo, and he wasn't exactly keen on the idea to interrupt that. Not now, when they were finally making progress.
In addition, Heather, who always saw more than anyone else, had only needed one glance at them, at the way Astrid and Hiccup looked at each other, to know. She had come up with an idea that suited everyone. She'd suggested for the two of them to stay at the edge and keep planning, while the rest came with them to Berserker Island. Again, Hiccup had been reluctant to agree, though. He still felt like it was his responsibility to watch over the Twins, even though they were hardly the troublemakers they once had been, and Heather had already proven her capability to reign them in, anyway.
It hadn't been hard to convince Fishlegs to go with them. Meatlug could be of great use in removing rubble, too, as well as producing Gronkle Iron for later use, and Fishlegs' knowledge of architecture would also be helpful. And then, he was excited to spend a few days with Heather anyway. So the Berserk siblings had stayed for lunch, and afterwards, all their friends had left Outpost Island. None of them had thought twice about it, except Heather, who'd winked at her once. And why should they? This wasn't the first time she and Hiccup were all on their own, after all. They'd been on regular scouting patrols together for four years now, this was no different. Except, it was! Because Hiccup had kissed her after she'd regained her sight, and now everything was different!
Although, not that different… After their friends had left, the two of them had returned to Hiccup's hut, just like on all the other days before, and had brooded over their plan to finally get the Dragon Eye back from Viggo and Ryker. After those first awkward days of their relationship, they'd been able to work out some kind of routine by now. It wasn't like they purposefully wanted to lie about their relationship to their friends. But being together was awkward enough even without the ever-prying eyes of Team Snotnuts, so they hadn't said anything yet. Instead, they'd tried to concentrate on their plan, which would have been entirely impossible with always one or more of their friends around, always trying to catch them doing things they weren't supposed to do.
Astrid watched Hiccup as he now went over their plan once more. Their plan to gather every single available dragon rider, pair them into small groups, and attack Viggo's outpost in one strategical assault. He was enthusiastic about it and with good reason. This was a good plan, and Astrid liked it all the more because of the way it had come to pass in the first place. This plan combined both their assets perfectly, her knowledge of fighting and how to best use the different skills to their advantage, and Hiccup's strategic mind to combine it all into one executable plan. They were good together!
She raised her hand to cover her mouth as she yawned. It was long past nightfall, surely past midnight as well, and these had been many long hours with this to her rather unfamiliar activity of planning and discussing. She was tired, but it was different from the fatigue she was used to. Normally, her body told her it had had enough activity for one day and needed rest. But, clearly, that wasn't the case today. No, today it was her mind that was tired. Her head felt like it was filled with wool, and thinking became harder. She really needed to go to bed!
Astrid stood up, and walked over to him, to say goodnight and, maybe, steal a kiss and embrace. She liked these little gestures, these proofs that, finally, they weren't just friends anymore. It had taken a long time to reach this point, and even these little things were still so new, so meaningful. They hadn't kissed often so far, not real kisses at least. These playful pecks of their youth didn't count! Kissing wasn't something that came naturally to them, and with all the work they had around the Edge and with this plan… Well, every single one had been a highlight so far, the one he'd given her that day at the stables, the one she'd stolen early in the morning a few days later when they'd met in their clubhouse while everyone else was still asleep, that first, deep goodnight kiss they'd shared a few days ago, and the others on the days after that had been far more cautious than that first one.
"Hiccup?" she addressed him self-consciously. Dammit, why was her usual confidence not working around him anymore? This was Hiccup, the same Hiccup she'd happily punched or embraced without further thought. Why was this so hard all of a sudden? "I think, we've been through this enough times now. It's pretty late so…" she trailed off, hoping he would react, look up at her, maybe even offer to walk her to her hut. Not that that was necessary, but it was nice. Walking together, even if it was just this small distance, was nice. It was a way of getting rid of all these important thoughts about plans and tactics, and, for that short time at least, just thinking about each other, of them being together.
But Hiccup didn't react. He just grunted distractedly, and reached for one of the small figurines to adjust its position.
"Hiccup, I'll go now. It's late and I'm tired," she tried anew. "And I wouldn't want to fall off the bridges later," she added half-jokingly. Maybe she would at least get him to laugh if nothing else.
But, again, there was no reasonable reaction. He just nodded, and reached for another figurine. "'As you wish," he murmured absentmindedly. "You know you could stay, right?"
Astrid had turned, resigned to leave without a kiss that night, but then stopped dead in her tracks, thunderstruck. What had he said? She whirled back toward him, to stare at him, dumbfounded. But he still didn't react, and just leaned heavily on the table, engrossed in his thought.
"What?" she asked aloud. Surely he hadn't meant that like it had sounded, right? Her heart was racing at the mere thought he could… could have implied… But no! Surely, he hadn't! Not that she didn't… want to, but… Freya, they'd only kissed a few times so far! She knew Hiccup well enough to know that, if she had to decide now, she would choose to stay with him for the rest of her life, but… Hel, that didn't mean…
She felt herself blushing as she stared at her boyfriend. Even this term was still so strange! How could he say something like that, and be completely unperturbed by it? But then... he wasn't!
In one moment, he was still looking thoughtfully down on the table, and in the next, he stiffened, flinched, and slowly, very slowly, turned toward her.
"You're not Fishlegs."
She blinked at him, uncomprehendingly. Why was he staring at her like she was a ghost, some terrifying monster to haunt him? And of course, she wasn't Fishlegs!
"Do I look like Fishlegs?" she asked angrily, her eyebrows drawn together. If this was supposed to be some joke then it wasn't a funny one! But Hiccup back-paddled, eyes wide, and hands raised to ward her off or calm her down, she wasn't sure which one.
"No! No, of course not! It's just… I-I'm not used to you… being here, I mean," he took a shaky breath, and gulped. "I mean, normally it's Fishlegs with whom I'm working through the nights," he explained more coherently. "And more often than not, he stays. Sleeps on the floor, over there…" He gestured toward the corner where his small workshop was, and where the heat of his forge outside provided a comfortable sleeping place. For being on the floor.
Astrid relaxed. So, he hadn't implied… hadn't asked her to spend the night with him after all. "I see…" she whispered, and averted her eyes. Dammit, why was she disappointed now? "That… makes more sense… I think. More than me… here…" she broke off, and bit her lip. Not, that she wanted to actually have… have sex with him… She wasn't ready for that yet! But staying? Sleeping next to him, warm in his arms? Why was this thought so appealing all of a sudden?
"That… makes more sense… I think. More than me… here…"
"No!" Hiccup agreed hastily. "No, that wouldn't…" Mortified, his gaze wandered through the room. Thor, how could he have been so stupid? Ask Astrid if she wanted to stay? Wanted to spend the night here? In his hut? With him? Not that he wouldn't want her to, but… Gods, she was Astrid Hofferson! The fact that she was here, now, with him, was incredible on its own. He still could hardly believe that he really was this lucky! And, of course, he wanted her to stay, had dreamed of barely anything else for years, but, oh Gods, he couldn't tell her that! He still barely dared to get close to her, even though she seemed to like it. And he wanted… Oh, Thor, he wanted her to stay. Not… not like that! But… But he wanted… "But I want..." Holy Helheim, had he said that out loud? He bit his lip, and cautiously glanced at her, whether she'd be angry. Gods, she would have every right to be…
But she wasn't… "You want… what?" she asked quietly. Too quietly maybe? Gods, he was dead.
"Nothing!" he said hastily. "I… nothing… really!"
She dropped her head, and nodded slightly. "You… want me to go, then?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
"Yes! Ahm… no! I…" Gods, he wished he could see her eyes right now, wished he could guess what she was thinking. He didn't want her to go…
"You… You could stay… if you want."
It was a risk! It was a risk, and he knew that. But he really, truly didn't want her to go! This was too perfect. With all their friends gone, nobody would ask any annoying questions in the morning. And it was not like he wanted to… to have… Not now, not tonight, not… not really! But he wanted to be with her, to hold her, to kiss her more than just once before they parted. Oh, Thor, please, let her stay!
"Okay," came her quiet answer, and she looked up at him again. Her expression was cautious, maybe even a little frightened, but there was this gleam in her eyes. A gleam that spoke of excitement and anticipation, and his heartbeat quickened. She made one hesitant step toward him, but then stopped, insecurity clear on her face. He gulped once, and then made a decision.
She had chosen him. She had chosen to believe in him, back then when she'd first found him with Toothless in the cove, had chosen to follow his lead when he'd started to train dragons for Berk's aid and when he'd decided to fly out and look for new land all these months ago. She had chosen to stay at the Edge, had chosen to return after she'd instructed the A-Team. A few days ago, she'd chosen him, and now she had chosen to stay. That had to mean something… Up until now, there had been only one living being whom he trusted completely, around whom he had never felt the need to act out anything he wasn't. One being who wouldn't judge him, and, in return, also trusted him completely. Toothless had given him the confidence he'd needed to become the person he was now, but if he wanted to go on, he probably would need more. Another person with whom he could be himself, and more confidence as well. And she had chosen him…
He took a deep breath, and made two quick steps with his long legs toward her, startling her, and pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. It was another risk. Maybe he was too forward. Maybe she would push him away and leave, for now, or for good. If she did that, he wasn't sure how he would go on, could go on, but he needed to take it anyway. They stood at a threshold, with their lives in constant danger, fighting almost every day, and with an uncertain future ahead of them. He didn't know whether their plan to attack Viggo would really work, or would end in a suicide mission. And they had already wasted so much time because of his failure, he didn't want to waste any more. Especially not now when they'd finally made up their minds. Theirs was not a relationship that needed time to grow, they already knew each other so well. All they needed was getting used to this new situation. Or so he thought at least… Freya, please, let her think so, too! Either she would choose him again now, or he didn't really care what happened to him…
For an agonizingly long moment, nothing happened though. She was stiff as a statue in his arms, not moving, neither toward nor away from him, and not saying one word, not making any noise. Gods, if this should be the last time he would hold her…
And then he felt her hands through his tunic and leather armour. Not on his chest, not pushing him away, but on his back, holding him close, drawing him in. He gasped into her hair, the relief that washed through him almost painful. She had chosen him, again.
A minute later, she leaned against him more heavily, and sighed. "I… really am tired, you know…" she mumbled reluctantly, and Hiccup chuckled shakily. He pulled back to look at her, and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Let's go to sleep then," He took her hand, and led her up to the higher platform where Toothless already lay on his customary stone. Tiredly, he opened one of his big green eyes when he heard them, his gaze wandering from him to Astrid and back again. He blinked once, and then closed the eye again, hiding behind his remaining tailfin. With a small grin, Hiccup shook his head at the dragon, and turned toward his nightstand. Out of habit, he loosened the bracers on his forearms and pulled them off before he turned to glance at Astrid.
She stood unmoving and pale, shaking slightly, and just stared unseeingly through him. Hiccup frowned. What was up with her? She wasn't usually timid like this, not even when it came to putting off their armour in the presence of one another. They'd done that on multiple occasions during the last couple years after all. Like, to go swimming, or at nights around the fireplace when they'd been on longer excursions. This wasn't any different.
Or was it?
He stepped toward her, his gaze questioningly. "Astrid?" he asked, and she flinched.
"I-I'm fine!" Her voice was shaking, and he saw her swallowing. "It's just…" she glanced up at him for a moment, and blushed. "I…" she shrugged awkwardly, and crossed her arms in front of her.
Hiccup watched her for a moment as her gaze wandered through the room, never meeting his eyes. She wasn't comfortable being here…
"Do you want to leave?" he asked calmly. If she wanted to go, he wouldn't hold her back. He wanted her to stay, but not if she wasn't at ease with it. He wanted her to be happy. Above all else, he just wanted her to be happy.
She bit her lip, and then slowly shook her head. "No," she whispered. "No, I - I don't want to leave."
Another blush spread across her face, and Hiccup finally understood. She felt just as awkward as he'd felt a few minutes ago, before he'd decided to not waste any more time. But he wanted this to work! Maybe he was pushing his luck, but he really, really wanted this to work…
"May I help with your armour then?" He tried to keep his voice level and calm, to not let his own nervousness show. He hoped that would help her to calm down as well. Astrid's eyes widened, but she nodded mutely, and Hiccup stepped closer to her, close enough to inhale the mayweed scent of her hair. Oh, Thor, this is going to be interesting. He thought dizzily, and carefully reached beneath her left pauldron to unclasp the buckle there. He knew how to put off her armour, after all. He'd made it! Carefully, he lifted the leather and metal over her head, and placed it on the trunk beside them before he turned back toward her. And gulped, suddenly self-conscious after all. He hadn't thought this through! Her skirt? There was no way he could put that one off, too! But, luckily, he didn't need to.
When his eye met hers again, he noticed the change in her. She wasn't as timid as before anymore, her eyes gleaming, filled with a soft emotion he couldn't name. She stepped even closer toward him, stretched, and a moment later, her lips met his. He gasped in surprise, the sound lost against her mouth, before his eyes fluttered shut, and he kissed her back.
This kiss was way better than the ones they'd shared during the last days, better even than that first deep kiss three days ago, almost as good as their first. He felt her soft body beneath his hands as his arms curled around her waist, and he parted his lips as he felt her doing the same. Cautiously, he pushed his tongue out to meet hers, playfully, carefully exploring. He could lose himself in kisses like this one…
He wasn't sure how much time had passed when they parted, breathlessly. Seconds? Minutes? Years? He didn't care… All he cared about was the girl in his arms with her wide smile and brightly gleaming eyes.
"Can we do that again?" she asked, panting slightly.
Hiccup gasped, his lips twitching into a grin before he leaned in to kiss her again.
A part of his mind noticed how they got closer to his bed, how she kicked off her boots and shimmied out of her skirt, and how he, too, shrugged off his boot. Somewhere along the way, he'd even managed to get rid of his leather armour and fake leg, though he didn't remember how. All he remembered later was how he'd held Astrid Hofferson, the girl of his dreams, in his arms, how they'd kissed and cuddled for he didn't know how long, and how she'd finally fallen asleep, nestled into his arms and blanket, relaxed and with a smile on her rosy lips. He stared down at her, watched her sleep, and still could hardly believe how lucky he was. There was only one downside to this, but it was one he was willing to take.
He wouldn't get any sleep tonight.