Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Namjoon wakes up lying on the cold ground, in the middle of an empty street. He looks around him, he’s alone and it’s snowing softly. As he exhales, his breath turns into white smoke in front of him and it confuses him.

He frowns. It shouldn’t be snowing, because… because it’s August. He thinks he went cycling by the river earlier that day, and he remember thinking it was too warm to be moving this much. Weirdly, he’s not sure, and there’s something bizarre with this whole situation, but he can’t tell what.

As he gets up, shivering at the feeling of wet clothes against his skin, he realizes yet another thing that makes the situation improbable. There’s not a soul in the city, but it looks like it’s the end of the afternoon, and Seoul’s streets are never deserted like this, especially during the day. 

That’s this detail, not the snow, that makes him realize he’s dreaming. He tenses as the realization hits him, ready to be back in his bed at any second now, but he stays stubbornly there.

Namjoon blinks, surprised. Usually, when he realizes he’s dreaming, he wakes up instantly. Moreover, he has never been able to feel cold during a dream. Which likely means…

It’s a soulmate dream. The instant he thinks it, he feels it in his bones. He's having a soulmate dream. 

His eyes widen at the shock of finally dreaming with someone else and his heartbeat picks up.

He thought he didn't have a soulmate because you usually start dreaming when you turn 20, and soulmates are almost always the same age as you, which means that if you don’t dream, you don’t have a soulmate. It happens. It's not even that rare, but, well. Nobody thinks they're going to be the unlucky bastard without a soulmate. It's always someone else, right?

But Namjoon's about to turn 23 and he’s finally having his first shared dream. He smiles, happier than he was since he accepted that he was going to spend his life alone. Namjoon had daydreamt about soulmates his whole life, and when he finally convinced himself he didn’t have one, it was hard. He’s not one to self-pity but the loneliness really has been painful. And that tiny bit of hope that came with it was worse, because his soulmate could of course be younger, but they could also just not be at all. 

He wonders what they look like, and if they are indeed younger. This would explain why it took so much time if they just turned 20. They probably think he’s around their age too then. He hopes he won’t disappoint them. Not because of his age, but well. Because he’s him. A broke music production student with no future and a bizarre taste in philosophy and clothing. He smiles. Being self-depreciative won’t help him. He promised himself to stop and love himself, but it's a work in progress. His soulmate is probably nervous too.

But where are they? He’s sure it’s a shared dream, he can feel it, but why is he alone?

It seems like he’s the one responsible for the location, as it’s close to his favorite café/bookshop mixed kind of place in the city. It’s called Serendipity. He likes it, and he’s not surprised to be there. It’s perfect for a first meeting, and it's where he would have wanted to have a first date in real life. 

He decides to go there first, walking down the street with trembling legs, closing and opening his fists, leaving little indents in the skin of his palms with his nails. He’s so nervous he’s glad it’s a dream and he can’t actually faint (he thinks. That would be unfortunate). The café is exactly like it is in real life, hidden in between two high buildings and looking totally out of place. He takes a big breath, unable to wait one second more even with his heart trying to escape his body through his throat, and pushes the door open.

Six men look up at him, with big smiles on their face and enthusiastic hand waves. Namjoon is overwhelmed by the feeling of home.

And he wakes up, with a weird lingering feeling and a number at the front of his mind.

He doesn’t move, not daring wake more than necessary. Mentally, he's screaming at the fact that soulmate dreams can't be remembered before soulmates meet, and of course it would be like that. 

Six.

Six? He tries to stay calm, he needs to get back to sleep, to ask them, whoever they are, to find answers. Sleep, he thinks. Sleep. He closes his eyes as hard as he can, takes big breaths. Six. Holy shit.

Six soulmates.

Needless to say, he doesn't get back to sleep. He’s too worked up, too many questions and no answer plaguing his mind. He looks at the little crescent cuts on his palms and wonders how they got there.

Did he really just have a soulmate dream? Is it even possible to have so many soulmates?

But. This feeling of home, he couldn't have dreamt it out of nowhere. He never felt something like that before, and he never even thought it was possible to feel so at ease and happy.

He decides to have faith for once. He turns and turns in his bed, totally awake and on the verge of a panic attack, too stressed to even close his eyes.

He feels like he has just forgotten something important and it’s driving him crazy.

The night passes slowly, minutes feeling like hours. 

As soon as he sees the first ray of sunshine peeking through the curtains, he gets up, hastily puts some clothes on, grabs his computer and his keys, and runs to the Serendipity café/bookshop. He doesn’t know why but he feels like he has to go there. Maybe?... Unlikely.  It’s not open, of course, it’s five in the morning. He sits in the nearest 24/7 fast food restaurant to enjoy the aircon as he waits and begins to search the internet for answers.

He knows a lot about soulmates because as a helpless romantic, he read everything he could about this special person made just for you when he was a teenager. He knows that up until you find them, you won’t remember anything from the dreams, not even the location or the language you spoke. In his case, he knows they’re seven with him and that’s it, he can't even remember their gender, not that he cares about that. He guesses it’s still better than nothing. Plus this weird feeling of belonging that woke him up and that he can’t forget. This part seems normal at least, he remembers his parents speaking about it.

Multiple soulmates are so rare he hardly finds anything about them, but it’s not unheard of. He reads a post from 2008 written by someone who shares his dream with two people. It’s not updated, and Namjoon is frustrated. What happens if he finds only one soulmate? What about the others? Will he be still able to dream with them, or only with the one he found? Because the dreams change when you find them, you can actually touch, and share thoughts, and remember everything in the morning, and it’s supposed to be much better. Namjoon doesn’t want to meet one of his soulmates and lose the others.

He thinks he’s already strangely attached to people he doesn’t even remember, but he supposed it’s okay. They’re literally parts of his soul. As he drinks his iced coffee, he feels less lonely than he was the day before. There are six people waiting for him, and he will find them. Oh, how he changed in a few hours. Hope is a powerful drug.

At 8 am, Namjoon is in front of Serendipity, café and bookshop. The owner, an old woman with kind eyes, smiles at him like always and Namjoon feels better already, less strained, and he grins back at her. He really likes this place, it has nice music, good aircon and quick wifi, it’s not well-known so it’s quiet and you can read a book for free if you buy a coffee. A pretty good deal if you’re a broke college student looking for books you can’t always find in libraries. Because there are only mostly second hand books that have found a new life here.

Namjoon goes straight to his favorite seat, a ugly pink armchair all the way back against the furthest wall of the shop, hidden by shelves full of books no one ever reads and that have nothing in common with each other, just put there because the owner didn't have the heart to throw them away and because they don't fit anywhere else.

She brings him a coffee as he sets up his computer again, wondering what more he could do to find answers. He could try sleeping, he often naps here (and wakes up tucked under a blanket and his computer safely put away; he loves the old woman with all his heart) and he feels already more relaxed.

Namjoon decides that he can just work on his music as usual. He doesn’t think the chances that the other six are sleeping right now are very high. He needs to tire himself for later, and he hopes that he’ll able to fall asleep and meet them again. And he’s in the mood to write lyrics.

He writes about snow in August, and about the feeling of longing, and about how many nights he will have to wait until they all meet.

At 8 pm, as the café is about to close, he has a few lyrics but it still needs a lot of work. He needs to think about a title. Namjoon smiles down at his notebook. He has a feeling this could be a great song if he finds a good melody and a singer willing to sing for him. He could rap the first part.

Satisfied and excited at the prospect of dreaming with his soulmates again, he takes his computer, bows to the old woman and leaves Serendipity with a smile on his face.

That night, Namjoon goes to sleep ridiculously early, and, of course, is unable to relax. He looks at the clock on his nightstand, the seconds ticking ever slower that the night before. 11 pm, midnight, 1 am, 2 am. He feels like crying. He’s the easiest sleeper in the world for god’s sake, he can fall asleep in a matter of seconds anywhere, and now he’s experimenting his second night of insomnia in two days. 3 am, he gives up and starts scrolling through Twitter. 4 am, he’s watching chinchillas taking dust baths on Youtube.

His alarm goes off at 7 am and he wakes up with no memory of falling asleep and he just knows he didn’t dream. He’s disappointed, and a bit afraid he made it all up.

This goes on for a week, not falling asleep, waking up disappointed, trying again.

On Sunday, he’s exhausted, and he collapses in his bed at 9 pm, not even hoping to dream. He just wants to sleep. As his head hits the pillow, he thinks that he never missed the snow so much before.

Namjoon opens his eyes when he feels a snowflake land on his nose.

Chapter Text

Namjoon doesn’t dare move as he watches the snow fall, the tiny snowflakes stuck on his lashes melting slowly. He takes a few short breaths, white smoke escaping his mouth in little puffs. The memories come back and he remembers that he has six soulmates that he didn’t have the time to properly see because he was too shocked at the number and woke up. Okay, he thinks. They exist. They’re real. He isn’t crazy.

He needs to go back to the café and find them before he does something stupid like waking up again. 

But he’s not in Seoul. Despite the snow, there’s saltiness on his lips and the sound of waves crashing. He sits up and indeed, he’s on a beach he doesn’t recognize.

It feels like it should be warm, like the sun should be shining. This looks like the kind of beach where the weather is always nice. And yet, snow everywhere, again.

He hears hurried footsteps behind him and as he tries to get up and see who’s coming he’s tackled to the ground by one apparently very panicked man. Except they’re not really touching, Namjoon’s breath gets expulsed out of his lungs at once but that’s it, he only feels a very light weight on top of him, barely anything, but it’s wrong because there’s a man straddling him and he knows he should feel more than just a light pressure on his tighs and a bit of warmth against his cheek, where they should be touching. But they’re not. Not really.

“Don't you dare leave again!” the man says in his ear, and Namjoon would hate this usually but this is his soulmate and he wants to reach for him, to take him in his arms and hugs him properly until he calms down. So he sits up to do so and tries to ignore the fact that he can’t hold him tight.

They’re not supposed to be able to touch but Namjoon feels the collar of his shirt getting soaked up with tears and his heart breaks. Why are the only real feeling he can have tears? 

Namjoon takes the other’s face into his hand as gently as possible (he’s trembling with all his body and the man on his lap is sobbing which means it’s not as gentle as he would like but that can’t be helped) and pushes him softly back to have a better look at him. It works, even if it feels like he’s touching smoke and not a human being.

The young man (his soulmate, oh god) is breathtakingly beautiful, even with tears streaming down his face. He’s looking at Namjoon in awe, big eyes unblinking and his mouth hanging slightly open, both hands against Namjoon’s torso, his fingers holding onto the fabric of his shirt, and the feature-like touch is already driving Namjoon insane.

“Don’t leave, please,” he whispers, biting his lips, his deep voice sending shivers down Namjoon’s spine.

“I’m not leaving”, Namjoon answers, he doesn't understand what's happening but he knows he has to comfort this man, the sad tone and tears are killing him and he just wants to see him smile. Please don’t cry.

His soulmate flashes him the brightest smile ever, his mouth stretching impossibly wide and Namjoon’s heart stops. Woah.

“TAE!” They both startle at the sound, turning their head just in time to see another man crash into them. Again, it doesn’t feel like it should when someone comes running and throws their whole weight at you.

Namjoon ends up lying on the ground again anyway, his face millimeters away from a boy with the cutest heart smile he ever saw. Namjoon can’t breathe, and he starts to think he’ll have to get used to this feeling around his soulmates. Who needs breathing when beautiful people are throwing themselves at you? 

“Hi, mysterious soulmate who disappeared on us without warning.”

“Erm, hi?” Namjoon blushes. Are all his soulmates so pretty? How is he going to survive this?

“Oh my god, let him stand up,” says another man, painting, as he and four other people get running to them.

They are indeed all that pretty, he muses, as he’s helped to his feet by “Tae” and looks at them.

“When you woke up last time we thought you weren’t coming back, and we haven’t been able to dream for a whole week!” Tae (Taeyang? Taemin?) tells him, pouting.

“I’m sorry…” It doesn't make him feel better than they weren't dreaming either, and that he wasn't left out. 

“It’s okay”, Tae shrugs, immediately taking his hand, and it's not even warm, but it makes Namjoon crack a smile. It feels so right, even if he knows he’s just dreaming it.

“Woah, what a smile, mister dimples,” says a small man with laughing eyes and blonde hair, looking warmly at him. Namjoon blushes more.

“Guys… let’s start by introducing ourselves, please?”

Namjoon nods, distracted again by the beauty of the man who just spoke. He looks like an idol or an actor. In fact, they all look so beautiful and warm and Namjoon feels like crying.

Having a soulmate was something he thought about a lot. About his fate being bound to someone else, and that this someone could be a criminal, or evil, or hate everything you love but that you didn’t get a say in the matter because you literally shared the same soul. It has always fascinated and scared him.

He knows already he’s going to love his six soulmates more than he loves life itself, and it’s terrifying. He doesn’t know them, he barely knows himself.

He’s totally overwhelmed and they must sense it, because as he loses his fight against tears, Tae hugs him again and kisses his cheek, and it’s barely there, but it feels good. Namjoon hides his face against the other’s head, wishing for more pressure, more contact. The others stand awkwardly, and Tae huffs in iration, catches the closest of them and forces them into a group hug. Someone is whispering in his ear that it’s okay with a sweet, high-pitched voice, someone else is running his hand through his hair, and someone is patting his back. Namjoon snorts at the situation: six grown men he doesn’t know cuddling him as he cries, not really touching him, and he never felt better. After a few instants, he calms down and takes a step back to wipe his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"My name is Kim Namjoon."

"Hello, Kim Namjoon." Tae’s smile is blinding.

Namjoon decides they're going to be okay. 

They speak and speak, and he forgets the snow around them and that it’s just a dream.

He learns their names and ages first and is happy to see that some are older than him. Actually, he’s exactly in the middle. Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok waited longer than him for their shared dreams.

Taehyung (so that’s his name. Too late, Namjoon thinks, he’s already Tae for him. Sounds sweet. Suits him.) and Jimin are a year younger than him, while Jungkook, the youngest, is about to turn twenty. He apologized for being the reason they all had to wait and they tell him that it’s not his fault. Hoseok even jokes, saying that he’s early. Namjoon senses that Yoongi and Seokjin suffered too from thinking they didn’t have a soulmate but after a shared look he decides not to mention it. Jungkook doesn’t need to know. Not right now, anyway.

It’s weird that Jungkook started dreaming early. They don’t question it, but Namjoon notices Yoongi looking at the younger boy both like he’s a mystery and the reason the sun rises every morning. Namjoon makes a mental note to ask later.

They then explain that they stayed a few more hours the six of them together last time, and that’s why they already know each other a little. They haven’t been able to sleep and dream too, and they guess that they all have to be asleep at the same time to start dreaming, but that when one of them wakes up, the others can stay.

Slowly, they start speaking about their interests and occupations.

Seokjin is studying cinema and acting. He already landed a few small roles, and Jimin saw one of the dramas he’s played in.

Yoongi is a producer, and Namjoon knows he’s looking at him with heart eyes but he can’t help it.

"I produce too," he says, shyly.

They start ranting about how unfair everything is. Yoongi is an autodidact, and he’s struggling to survive with the little money he earns when he manages to sell his music. He could work for a big entertainment company, but that’s not what he’s looking for. He keeps saying he wants to make music that touches the youth, and Namjoon forces himself not to look too starstruck. He figures a little starstruck is fine.

Hoseok is a dancer and choreographer. Struggling, too, like they all are, but happy. That’s what astounds Namjoon the most. Hoseok is lifting the mood of them all with his vision of life and his easy personality.

Jimin is studying biology, but he’s doing a minor in dancing. He’s really shy, and Namjoon feels like dying every time he smiles or bites his lips.

Taehyung is a photography student, doing modeling as a part-time job. Namjoon’s not surprised. Everything interests him, and he listens to the other speaking with his mouth hanging open.

Jungkook is studying business because of his parents, but what he likes doing is singing, and he tells them he does covers on Youtube. When they ask him to sing something, he turns a lovely shade of pink and quietly sings two lines of an old song.

They all cheer loudly as he looks down at his hands, and Namjoon is amazed by his talent. The producer in him wants him to sing his songs, and he sees that Yoongi thinks the same.

It’s still snowing, and Yoongi’s lips are a pale shade of blue. Seokjin frowns at this.

"I wish we were indoors like last time, » he says, and before he even finishes his sentence they find themselves in a very nice and warm old-fashioned café. Jimin runs to a window and screams that they’re still on the same beach. Seokjin’s eyes are wide and Namjoon would have laughed at his shocked face if the oldest hadn’t squinted his eyes at Yoongi. A blanket appears on Yoongi’s shoulders immediately.

"How-"

"I thought only soulmates who were already together could change the dreams!"

"What the fuck hyung?!"

Seokjin just shrugs :

"Guys, we’re not supposed to be seven, and we are. Let’s be happy we don’t have to freeze outside."

"So you’re the one dreaming the location?" Namjoon asks, curious.

"Yeah, I recognized the beach from a road trip I did a few years ago. Last time, it was you, Namjoon?"

Namjoon nods.

"When you disappeared, the dream disappeared too. It stopped snowing, but we were in the middle of nowhere. It was just white all around us,"Jungkook tells him. "Where were we before you left? It was in Seoul, right?"

"It’s my favorite place in Seoul. They have good coffee and sell books, too. It’s called Serendipity."

No one reacts.

"You’ve never been in that street before?"

They shake their heads.

"You… you guys live in Seoul?" Namjoon tenses. Maybe they don’t even live in Korea, it’s not because they all speak Korean that they live in the same place, maybe one of them is far away, maybe they have no chances to meet. It’s already a wonder they all speak the same language. Namjoon was in New Zealand last year. If he knew he had soulmates and that they were Korean, he wouldn’t have gone, but he didn’t, and maybe one of them left too.

"Namjoon, calm down, we actually discussed that last time and," a smile appears on Seokjin’s pretty lips, "from next week we’ll all be in Seoul," he hesitates, "If you’re there too, that’s it."

Namjoon is overcome by relief.

"I’ll be there."

"So we have a chance to meet," Jimin breathes.

"We do." Hoseok looks like he’s about to burst with joy. Namjoon understands.

He doesn’t see Jungkook avert his eyes and smile sadly.

Chapter Text

Namjoon slowly learns to know his soulmates.

There’s Seokjin, who looks like he knows what he’s doing but really doesn't, and it's endearing and reassuring. He's functioning better than the others, but also does not know what is going on and is honest about it. He also has the most innocent soul Namjoon has ever met, childlike joy still deeply rooted in him. He’s the first one to start a snow fight. It’s a wonder it took them so long to start playing with the snow, Namjoon thinks when he watches the eldest make a snowball and trying to be subtle about it. Seokjin throws the first snowball at Jimin, who may be small but won’t let the others bully him. Needless to say, it degenerates into a full-blown fight with two teams and lots of screaming. Hoseok, who was the dreamer, has to dream about warm blankets when they’re done smashing snow into each other’s faces and rolling on the ground with laughter. It’s a good thing they can’t get sick in dreams.

Namjoon won’t admit it out loud but he loves Seokjin’s insane laugh so much. As soon as he starts laughing all of them follow, and if Yoongi hides his fond smile behind his hand, Namjoon acts like he believes him when he says Seokjin’s jokes don’t make him laugh.

But Seokjin is not only a child in a man’s body and a pretty face (even if Joon still has trouble breathing every time he looks at him), he’s also incredibly perciptive and the first one to realize it only ever snows when Namjoon is there. None of them knows why, but Namjoon catches Jungkook looking at him with a frown on his face. Seokjin makes a very bad pun (you're snow much fun. really?) and Namjoon forgets about his weird feeling that Kook is hiding something.

There’s Yoongi, who’s always playing the piano softly as they speak, fingers dancing in the air without touching anything but there’s music anyway, even when he’s not the one choosing where they are. Once, when Jimin is the one dreaming the place they’re at, he dreams him a piano. Yoongi’s smile is blinding as he plays them his favorite pieces. From then on the dreamer always makes sure there’s a piano for Yoongi. It’s a bit selfish too, because they got used to the music really quickly, and it became a part of their dreams just like the snow.

Yoongi’s music is gorgeous and Namjoon is so drawn to it he wonders how he never heard anything Yoongi produced before. It makes him feel all kinds of emotions with only a few notes and Namjoon starts to deplore the fact that he won’t remember it in the morning. After a particularly good piece who forced him to choke back down tears, he asks Yoongi if he can use some lyrics he wrote with it. Yoongi laughs and blushes, touches his neck, runs his hand through his hair, bites his lips, and basically turns into a flustered mess before telling him that if Namjoon remembers in the morning he can use the melody as he pleases.

There’s Hoseok, who never stands still and manages to get them to go to an (indoors) waterpark one night even though they all quickly find out he’s terrified of slides. Namjoon surprises himself when he thinks that this is typical of Hoseok, doing things without thinking about his own comfort. He already knows them better than his own family, and even if he knows it’s normal because they share the same soul it’s still strange to find parts of him in other people.

Hoseok never lost hope to find his soulmate, and it surprises Namjoon too, how confident he is in fate and in happiness.

"If we meet-"

"When we meet, Joon. When, not if."

Namjoon doesn’t tell him, but he needs the reassurance and Hobi has always exactly the right words. He’s a wonder. Namjoon is glad they’re the same age too.

There’s Jimin, who once the shyness disappeared, revealed the brightest laughter and an amazing thoughtfulness. Not only he first thought about the piano for Yoongi, but he also seems to understand how the elder men felt when they were alone even if he himself never thought twice about not having soulmates. Namjoon finds Jimin’s presence calming, and he knows it’s the same for all of them. Jimin is soft and pretty and Namjoon knows he’d do anything for him to keep smiling, and it should be scary but it’s not because trusting Jimin with his very soul seems the safest thing to do.

Yoongi often looks like he’s about to confess something, taking a big breath and closing his eyes, but he stops himself each time. Jimin smiles at him and says it’s okay.

There’s Taehyung, who always has the most vivid dreams. Namjoon thinks it’s because Tae has an interesting way of thinking, out of the box and creative Namjoon wishes he could do. They find themselves on a huge pile of clothes once, nothing else around them, and Taehyung tells them he thought just before falling asleep about what it would be like to be inside a washing machine. They play hide and seek for a while before getting comfortable and sitting down to speak. Taehyung is fascinating Namjoon with his sudden changes of subject and his way to find correlations between everything.

And his way to know, too. He’s the one who finally gets Yoongi to speak. The older man had a very bad day, tells them he doesn’t want to wake up from the dream, and Tae asks him very bluntly if he’s depressed. Yoongi grunts and hides his face against the pile of clothes before mumbling something about having to tell them the truth sooner or later anyway.

It’s not an easy discussion, and Namjoon thinks again and again as Yoongi speaks that he would give anything to be able to properly hug him.

Yoongi tells them, softly, without trying to hide what he truly felt, that he had given up totally and that if Jungkook hadn’t started to dream early, he wouldn’t be there at all.

Taehyung doesn’t start to cry like the rest of them, he simply scoots closer to Yoongi and kisses him on the cheek. He tells him he’s not alone anymore. He tells him it’s okay to be sad but please please don’t be sad alone. He tells him that he’ll make sure Yoongi feels loved every night until he can make sure he feels loved every day too. And then he totally changes the subject because he knows already that Yoongi hates crying. Taehyung is that amazing and Namjoon thinks he would have fallen for him even if they weren’t soulmates.

And there’s Jungkook.

Namjoon feels blue whenever he looks at the youngest and doesn’t know why.

Kookie looks happy though, and he’s playing with Seokjin like they are the same age (which might be 5 years old some days, really), and when he smiles Namjoon can see the cutest bunny teeth, and Jungkook looks already so in love with them all Namjoon would find it adorable if he wasn’t in the same situation.

He totally finds his shyness endearing. When he asks for the first time if he can kiss him, the younger turns all shades of red before nodding.

Kissing is weird. It feels good, they’re close, but they barely feel any contact at all. It’s a taste of what they could have if they meet and it’s addicting already, but they don’t do it often because it’s frustrating. For a while, they’re content with holding hands when they speak.

Jungkook is the reason they’re all even there, the reason Yoongi is with them. To think that one of his soulmates could have died before they even had the chance to dream together… Namjoon doesn’t even want to consider not being the seven of them. They all feel better when they’re together, and every time one of them wakes up and leaves them, it feels different. They’re still good and happy but it feels emptier suddenly. Namjoon particularly hates it when Kook is the one leaving first. 

Namjoon wants to ask, but he doesn't know what he should ask Kookie. So he stays silent and waits for the youngest to tell him why he feels further away than his other soulmates. 

--

Namjoon wakes up more often than not with the feeling he forgot something, and he knows he dreamt with his soulmates.

He’s in love. He doesn’t remember with whom.

It’s okay, he supposes. They will meet one day. And until then he knows he feels lighter because they’re together in his dreams.

When he walks through the streets of Seoul he carefully looks at the faces of the people he meets, but he never feels anything different. He doesn't know why, but he’s sure his soulmates are in Seoul too. He wouldn’t wake up so happy if they had no chances to meet.

Sometimes in the morning Namjoon will crave strawberries and wonder why and he will know one of his soulmates loves strawberries. Or he will have a melody playing in his head and the image of a piano, or the memory of a kiss on his lips, or the feeling of joy in his heart.

He always holds onto the feeling as long as he can, feeling closer to his soulmates when he touches his lips and thinks about kisses he doesn’t remember.

And snow, so much snow. It’s getting colder outside but it won’t start snowing until a few months and Namjoon wonders why he feels like there’s a snowfall in his soul.

But every time he dreams with them he remembers everything, and they’re happy, they really are.

It’s enough. And then it’s not enough anymore.

It’s terrible to forget everything. As soon as the feelings of whatever happened in the dreams fade, he’s going insane with longing and he feels out of his own skin. He spends his days in Serendipity, not knowing why but it soothes him to be there. He works on his music and barely attends class as he’s not able to stay in place long enough to focus. He just wants to sleep and see them, and he knows that he should maybe start searching for them but he can’t bring himself to try- because failing is intolerable and oh so painful, and he can't hope but he's doing it anyway, and everything hurts. So instead, he produces and writes. The lyrics come to him easily, but the melody keeps escaping him. Every time he thinks he’s about to find the right notes it sounds totally wrong.

Namjoon is restless and thinks he must be missing something very important in his dreams to be stuck in the reality too.

Chapter Text

Time passes. The weather in Seoul gets colder but it’s still only ever snowing in their dreams.

The longing doesn’t get better, and sometimes they feel like they can’t properly breathe even when they’re together. It’s a weird feeling, to miss someone who’s right there. They start feeling the difference between dreams and what could be their reality more and more. The absence of real touch. The inability to hold each other. Wondering what they smell like, a warmth that’s barely there. Wishing for a real kiss.

Hobi keeps them hoping and it’s bearable when they’re not awake. Namjoon would rather not think about the moments they’re not together though. He goes through his day mechanically just to go back to his dreams, and he feels himself slip as he spends more and more time in his bed. They’re all doing it though, and when they discuss the urge to be together they all agree it’s too painful to be awake if it’s only to be alone. Namjoon knows they have to find each other quickly; he has read about depressions caused by not finding one's soulmate. He doesn't want it to happen to them, and Yoongi particularly worries him. The older man tells them he has more and more troubles to get out of bed at all.

Namjoon quietly observes Jungkook too, the feeling the youngest is not quite honest with them on the back of his mind. 

Jungkook always dreams about a train, and Namjoon gets used to watch the younger man look out of the window for hours instead of speaking with them. Jungkook is withdrawing from his soulmates and Namjoon doesn’t know how to stop it.

He should confront him but he doesn’t. It’d feel wrong to force him to speak when he doesn’t want to. He would probably lie anyway.

Jungkook is so quiet. Was he always so quiet? Namjoon thinks that something changed.

Taehyung and Jimin almost meet. They realize it as they speak during the night. They were at the same place at the same moment but they didn’t see each other.

Jimin cries. Taehyung tells him it’s okay. The others comfort them and tell them it’s actually a good thing because it means they probably will have more opportunities.

Jungkook stays silent.

Yoongi asks Namjoon to sing him his lyrics while he plays his song on the piano.

Namjoon sings, a bit unsure of his voice, a bit vulnerable still, even in front of his soulmates, following Yoongi’s lead. It would be perfect. Too bad he can’t remember in the morning.

Jungkook listens with his eyes closed but doesn’t say a word, even though Namjoon can see him mouth the lyrics.

Seokjin and Hoseok start to try and find a way to meet, comparing their daily schedules and the streets they walk. They ask everyone and try to think really hard about the places they all know before waking up. Maybe it’ll work.

Jungkook is still quiet. His silence fills the dreams just like snows mute the sounds.

Namjoon decides to ask soon.

--

Namjoon is finally home. He had to stay back in Serendipity to write a paper and with every passing minute, he was getting more and more restless. He sees his soulmates almost every night but it’s not enough, and he can’t wait. He has a routine now to fall asleep quickly, he gulps down a few sleeping pills. It makes him feel guilty because he promised himself never to resort to that but he can’t afford not to sleep. He needs them like he needs air. He misses them so much.

Namjoon opens his window and gets into his bed, ignoring the coldness in his heart as he tries not to drown in his worries and pain.

When he opens his eyes, it’s snowing.

He turns around to see where they are this time. He’s in the middle of nowhere, the only sign of life are train tracks. He waits for running steps and excited screams, shivering because the dream is unusually cold.

One minute, five minutes, ten minutes. It’s snowing really hard now and Namjoon starts to feel uneasy.  

No one is coming. Where are they? Where are they?

Namjoon sits down on the track, trying to conserve body warmth as much as he can. He’s in his pajamas and he can’t feel his legs anymore.

He tries not to cry, but he’s afraid. Maybe it was just an error. Maybe he doesn’t have soulmates, after all. Maybe it’s meant to be just him, all alone under the snow.

He has trouble breathing when he realizes he doesn't remember. Maybe he never dreamt with his soulmates. Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe he invented himself the feeling of belonging. Maybe thinking there were six people for him was crazy.

Out of the corner of his eye, he catches some movement and turns his head to see.

“Jungkook!” he yells as he gets up, relieved. He’s not alone. Jungkook. Their youngest. Of course.

But Jungkook startles and starts to run in the other direction, away from Namjoon. 

Namjoon finds himself running after him, panicked.

“JUNGKOOK!”

He runs with his heart in his mouth, and he feels like his body weights tons, the snow slowing him down even more.

Why is Jungkook running away from him, where are the others?

He can’t catch him, Jungkook is too fast

He can’t catch him

He cant-

Namjoon wakes up frozen and crying.

It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. He hides his face against his pillow, his whole body trembling from the cold and the sheer terror he just felt. He knows they’re real. He recalls the memory of a kiss on his cheek. Of a hand holding his. Of his name said with utter adoration. They exist, he couldn’t have dreamed it.

But why did he dream about one of his soulmates and why can he remember his name?

He can’t think of his face, there’s just snow and his name, but the kid was scared. Why was he scared? And scared of Namjoon?

“Jungkook,” Namjoon whispers in the dark, tentative. It sounds bittersweet.

Namjoon takes a few more pills and forces himself to relax. He needs to speak to him.

--

This time, Namjoon knows it’s a soulmate dream. They’re all here. He hides his worry though and just greets them as usual. He’s dying to confirm it’s for real and speak about his nightmare, but Jungkook. Jungkook is more important.

It’s Jungkook’s dream, and they’re on a train.

Jungkook is looking out the window, silent, as usual.

Namjoon sits beside him.

“Hi, baby.”

Jungkook smiles at him but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

After a few seconds of silence, Namjoon sighs.

“How do you like Seoul?” he tries, careful.

“It’s okay, I guess…” Jungkook fidgets and refuses to meet his eyes.

“Kookie.”

He looks like he’s about to cry.

“Why are we on a train, Kookie?”

“Please don’t tell the others,” Jungkook takes a big breath, “I’m not in Seoul anymore.”

Namjoon feels his stomach drop.

“What happened?” He’s not sure he wants to know.

“I told my parents I didn’t want to study business, that I’d rather study music. They don’t know I started dreaming, and obviously, I don't remember when I wake up, but I’ve started to think like you and Yoongi Hyung, and I said fuck it, it’s my life.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath. 

“They cut my allowance. I tried to stay, I promise, but I have nothing, and I couldn't remember if you even were in Seoul.  I had to go back to Busan.” He's stubbornly looking out the window, and Namjoon can't because the nightmare of seeing Jungkook run away from him still burns.

“I dream about the train because I want to go away but I can’t, Joon Hyung. I’m stuck. I have nothing waiting for me in real life. No dreams. No money. And no family.”

Jungkook sounds on the verge of a panic attack.

“They don't let me go home. They kicked me out, Hyung. I’m at a friend’s house but I can't stay forever.”

Jungkook looks at his hands, resting on his lap. Namjoon feels cold all over.

“I’m sorry, I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to never tell you. It’s okay if you all find each other right? I don't mind staying alone a little longer if you get to be happy. It's okay. You had to wait so long to start dreaming.” The younger man is babbling.

“Don’t wait for me, Hyung. I know you want to find all of us. I see it when you look at me. You think there's something wrong with me. And maybe there is. I’m keeping you from happiness and I don’t want that. Let go and start searching for them, please.”

Namjoon is speechless. Jungkook would give up everything to not be a burden. It's insane, and borderline self-destructive.

So selfless, their baby.

But it’s because Namjoon knows what alone means that he can't let Jungkook alone. It's not even an option. Even if the youngest never had to wait he's actually the one who needs them the most, after all. Namjoon thinks that maybe this is the reason why he feels so blue and faraway. 

“Kookie. I’m gonna find you.” Jungkook shakes his head.

“You don’t understand. I don’t think you can find me. You never even went to Busan. And…” Jungkook gulps. “You already did so much for me, Hyung. Yoongi Hyung thinks I saved him, but it’s the other way around. The dreams are the only good thing left in my life.” Not a tear escaped Jungkook’s eyes, but now, he’s visibly trying to hold it together. Namjoon’s heart breaks a little more at the sight of their youngest obviously hiding his distress for his sake.

Jungkook is so brave. Namjoon loves him so much.

He takes his hand, a fleeting touch but oh so welcome. A reminder Jungkook is there with him even if it’s far from perfect.

“I dreamt about you, you know. I remembered your name. I will find you. I promise.”

Jungkook hides his face against Namjoon’s torso and whispers, so low that Namjoon barely hears it,

“Please.”  

Chapter Text

Jungkook tells the rest of the group about his situation, of course. It’s hard for the others to miss the way he’s sobbing against Namjoon’s neck and how distressed he looks, so Jungkook tells them, even though he would rather keep it a secret as to not worry them. 

Seokjin’s not surprised, as he already suspected something like this was going on, but the others are horrified that the youngest hid this from them all this time. They make him promise to always tell them it if he needs help, and assure him that it’s the seven of them, that no one will stay alone. Jungkook smiles through his tears and nods.

Namjoon is afraid that this new development will make them even more desperate, letting them spiral deeper into the feeling of longing, but the opposite happens. Seeing their youngest so sad and helpless make them determined to find each other. When they learn that Namjoon remembers Kook’s name, they have hope.

Namjoon realized the influence they have on each other’s moods long ago, and how easy it was to be down if one of them wasn't feeling well, but how just one smile could change everything too.

So he takes the responsibility. He swears out loud that he will find Jungkook. He acts sure and confident, hides his worries, doesn't speak about his nightmares, about the feeling he's not enough and that he's not sure how to find Jungkook. But he will find him. He has too. They’re all counting on him.

“Have you ever seen the beach under the snow, Hyung? It happens sometimes in Busan. It should happen this weekend too,” Jimin tells him as he watches with a thoughtful smile Jungkook laughing at one of Seokjin’s jokes.

“You think?...” Namjoon turns to face the younger man, letting the end of his question hanging, familiar pain already eating him from the inside like a fire he knows he won’t be able to put off if he lets himself hope .

Jimin shrugs.

“Maybe there’s a reason it’s always snowing, you know. Maybe the snow is here because of you, or because you need to find Jungkook and maybe it’ll help.”

Jimin might be right.

Namjoon thought a lot about it, why it never stops snowing when he’s with his soulmates. Maybe it’s his soul that’s like that, always snowy and cold. Maybe it’s because he was really sad before them. Maybe there’s another reason, he thinks when he looks at Jungkook. He feels like snow. And he feels like finding Jungkook will finally mark the beginning of the spring.   

Sometimes he understands his lyrics after he wrote them.

A snowed beach. Winter in summer. The urge to flee with the one you love and miss. 

Jungkook all alone on a train and then on a beach. 

Not really alone anymore, though. They’re here with him, and Namjoon is going to make sure he never has to be alone anymore at all.

He wakes up determined to find whoever this Jungkook is, even if he doesn’t remember the dream. What he remembers from the nightmare is enough to let him know there’s something wrong and that he has to hurry.

It’s december and it’s not snowing yet in Seoul.

He starts with his university database. As expected, it’s useless when you just have a name. He tries to type it in the Google search bar, on Facebook, on Kakaotalk, even if he rationally knows there’s no way this would work.

He ends up in Serendipity because it’s what he does when he’s lost. He’s deep into a book about the meaning of certain elements in soulmates dreams. He stops on the page for snow. He’s sure there’s snow in his dreams, there has to be. He can’t remember the nightmare very well but he recalls being cold and wet. Why is he so obsessed with snow?

He doesn’t realize he’s muttering out loud and startles when the old lady speaks.

“Snow? Not here yet, dear. But tomorrow it will snow in Busan. Have you ever seen the beach under the snow, Joon-ah?”

Namjoon drops the book in shock as he feels cold all over.

Have you ever seen the beach under the snow, ...

...

...Hyung?

Busan.

Jungkook is in Busan, he is sure about this.

He jumps to his feet, ready to run to the train station, before sitting down again and opening his computer to buy train tickets, smiling so widely it hurts. He must look crazy. The old woman pays him no mind and goes back to her books. Namjoon feels out of his skin with excitement as he books a place for the first train on the following day. He’s going to find Jungkook.

He's going to find one of his soulmates.

That night in their dream he’s barely able to hide how nervous he is.

Jungkook dreams them a beach, but not the same beach they all first met, this one was Seokjin’s. No, this beach is different, and Namjoon can’t help but send a questioning look at Jungkook, who just whispers about coming here during the day because he doesn’t want to stay at his friend’s house and feel like an intruder.

Namjoon knows he has to go there when he wakes up. He tries to commit every little detail to his memory, the rock Jungkook’s sitting on, how the snow is falling, thick and slow snowflakes covering every inch of sand around them. How Jungkook looks at the sea with nostalgia in his eyes but still smiles and laughs because he tries not to worry his hyungs.

Namjoon doesn’t tell the others about his plans in case everything goes wrong and he doesn’t find Jungkook. Jimin does look a bit more closely at him but Namjoon does his best to ignore it and the younger man doesn’t ask questions.

Busan is a huge city. Namjoon knows where to find Kookie in his dreams, but he won’t remember in the morning. He thinks he will know, somehow, but there’s no way he can be sure.

Namjoon wakes up before everyone else, and if the others are surprised to see him disappear so early, they can’t know why. Namjoon stays unmoving in his bed a few seconds, taking deep breaths and focusing on the ceiling.

He can do it.

He gets to the station way too early and kills time as best as he can by walking along the tracks. When the train is finally ready to leave, he gets in, sits down and immediately feels so nervous he has to stand up again.

He spends the whole ride walking from the front to the end of the train, again and again, gaining weird looks from the other passengers. He doesn’t care, because there’s only one thought in his mind, and everything else is not even registering.

Find Jungkook.

As the train arrives in Busan, it slowly starts to snow and Namjoon feels weird, almost nauseous with anxiety. He’s having flashbacks of laughs and snowball fights, of warm blankets and butterfly kisses, of quiet whispers and loud amused screaming, even though he didn’t remember doing this. It’s like it happened in another’s life.

Like it happened in a dream.

Namjoon feels his heartbeat pick up as he realizes he’s starting to remember his soulmates dreams.

He sits down, finally, as close as he can be to the window. The train is now half empty and everything is silent, and he feels like he’s by himself in the middle of nowhere.

He looks outside, watches the snow fall in big snowflakes and the scenery change. He closes his eyes briefly, and he can imagine someone in front of him, looking outside like he is. He can’t see his face, (Jungkook’s face, his mind supplies) but he knows his soulmate feels blue. He can almost feel his hand in his if he tries hard enough to imagine. 

There's an announcement interrupting his daydreaming as the train arrives in Busan and Namjoon can’t wait to erase the sadness and the snow and replaces it with warmth and love.

Chapter Text

Namjoon remembers snippets of dreams as he walks through the streets of Busan. There’s nothing clear but it’s just enough to know where to go. He tries to remember the names of his other soulmates but it escapes him just so, it’s right there but he can’t catch it. He hopes he’ll be able to remember once he meets Jungkook.

Jungkook.

Jungkook, who is waiting for him, and who is the reason why Namjoon is in Busan in the first place. He walks straight from the train station to the sea, barely taking in what’s around him, too stressed to stop and see the city.

If he’s honest with himself, he’s terrified. There’s still that nagging feeling that it was all in his head and that no one is waiting for him in Busan. There's still the thought that he doesn’t deserve anyone, let alone six people. There's still the doubt that having so many soulmates is normal and that it will work out with so many different people. He’s afraid that he will lose the others as soon as he finds Jungkook. What if he forgets them? What if they stop dreaming? What if Jungkook and Namjoon end up only the both of them, without the others? He fears this more than being alone. But he’s tired of being afraid of the soulmate bond so he doesn’t stop walking even if he’s about to pass out from the stress.

And there’s hope, too, even if he always tried to ignore it. And impatience because he knows Jungkook needs him right now, needed him months ago already and that Namjoon will finally get to be a good soulmate.

As soon as he sees the sea, Namjoon stops and breathes deeply, taking the time to take in the scenery and committing the details to his memory. The colors are washed out because of the weather, whites and greys everywhere, the snow contrasting with the dull greenish color of the water and the grey sky.

Jungkook shouldn’t be very far. Namjoon follows the road along the beach, his shoes sinking slightly in the fine layer of snow. It doesn’t look like anyone will take the time to clear this road and Namjoon feels like the last man on earth because no one in his right mind will venture here on a snowing day.

Except he’s not really alone.

There’s someone with a yellow jacket sitting on a rock a few hundred meters ahead. Namjoon knows who this person is but everything feels so unreal he doesn’t find in himself the courage to call his name.

Namjoon gets closer, heart in his throat. The boy is singing to himself, and Namjoon recognizes the song immediately. It’s his song, the one for which he can’t find a melody. But the boy, Jungkook, is singing his lyrics, which means there is a melody-

Yoongi’s , his mind supplies, Yoongi’s melody.

Hyung, he adds mentally, as an afterthought. Yoongi Hyung, one of his soulmates.

He looks at Jungkook from afar, absorbing the fact that he found him, taking in the silhouette of the younger man. He looks small, all alone on a beach, snow slowly covering his hair. Namjoon can’t see his face. He has trouble listening because of the snow muting down every sound but Jungkook’s voice sounds so pure and light, Namjoon is in awe. It’s ten times better than in the dreams.

He comes closer to hear better and everything starts to come into place.

How much more do I have to wait?

How many more sleepless night do I have to take?

Until I can see you?

Until I can meet you?

Namjoon thinks about Yoongi playing the piano as himself sang the song, Jungkook simply mouthing the lyrics, not daring to join in, and so, so silent all the time.

He remembers the others too, Seokjin Hyung, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, listening, smiling, laughing, crying sometimes. His soulmates.  He remembers everything, is he supposed to remember?

Jungkook still hasn't seen him, so Namjoon gets a bit closer still, only a few meters separating them now.

Namjoon’s close enough to see Jungkook’s cute little scar on his cheekbone.

He’s about to meet his soulmate for real.

He pinches himself to make sure it’s not a dream this time. The pain when his nails break the skin of his arm grounds him and gives him enough courage to speak. His heart is hammering violently against his ribcage and he feels hot all over despite the snow.

“Jungkook.” It comes out a little weak but honestly, Namjoon is proud it didn't come out worse because his limbs feel like jelly and there’s something stuck in his throat that dangerously feels like big embarrassing sobs.

Jungkook turns to face him, surprised, big doe eyes widening before he smiles at him, and woah. Woah. His smile could light up the universe.

“You found me, Hyung.” Jungkook’s voice is shaky, a little unsure, and it breaks Namjoon.  

He remembers everything and he can’t take it anymore, he crosses the two meters that separates them from each other and takes the younger man into his arms, still seated on the rock so Namjoon bends down and engulfs Jungkook’s whole body with his arms. Jungkook is warm and solid against him and it's so different from the dreams. Namjoon lets out a choked laugh, relief overwhelming him at the sensation of finally holding his soulmate. He can feel the younger man’s warm breath against his neck, and hot tears and Jungkook’s fingers are desperately holding onto Namjoon’s shirt. He’s really there, it’s not just white smoke and aborted attempts to hold his hand anymore, it’s real and solid and Namjoon still can’t believe it’s finally happening.

Jungkook calms down after a while but refuses to let go. He stands up from the rock and buries his face against Namjoon’s torso again.

Namjoon doesn't want to let go either, it feels so good to hold him for real he doesn't want it to stop, ever.

“It’s like your dreams Hyung, always snowing,” Jungkook says as he loosens his grip just enough to look at Namjoon shyly, under his lashes. Namjoon wipes the tears with his thumbs. 

“Yeah,” Namjoon answers softly, starting to understand. The music, the snow… It’s like he was meant to find Jungkook like this since the beginning, and it’s fate maybe. Maybe that's how the soulmate bond work. Someone to save you and someone to save too.

But he’s a bit busy admiring his soulmate to think about it right now. Jungkook looks at him with literal stars in his eyes, and he’s so pretty. They know each other already, having spent so much time together dreaming. Jungkook feels like home.

“Can I kiss you?” Namjoon asks, entranced by Jungkook’s red lips.

Jungkook blushes, his already pink cheeks turning an even darker shade.

“It’s the second time you ask me for a first kiss,” Jungkook whispers as he bites his lips and looks away, too shy to meet Namjoon’s eyes. It’s the most endearing thing ever and Namjoon’s heart is hurting.

“Is that a yes, baby?”

“Please.” Jungkook tilts his head up at least, but he’s not looking at Namjoon’s eyes. His eyes are on Namjoon’s mouth as the older man lick his lips. Jungkook closes his eyes and lets a shuddering breath out.

Namjoon wants to smile but tries not to, he has a boy to kiss and that would be inconvenient. It’s hard to not grin at every little thing Jungkook does.

He leans in slowly and trails one hand in Jungkook’s hair, the other against his cheek, caressing soft skin, his finger brushing on the scar. Everything about his soulmates is soft and cute and Namjoon has to force himself to stop staring. He closes his eyes as their lips meet. It’s soft and only lasts a few instants but Namjoon is breathless. Jungkook is no better, looking spaced out, his eyes wide and on Namjoon's lips again, hands fisted in his shirt. Nothing ever felt so good.

“Again?..” he breathes against his lips, voice a bit surer. Namjoon complies immediately.  

They kiss like this for a while, snow falling around them, the sound of waves crashing against the beach in the distance, and Namjoon can almost hear Yoongi playing the piano.

They stop when Namjoon realizes Jungkook is shaking. He’s freezing because his jacket is too thin and clearly not adapted to the weather. Jungkook mumbles something about not wanting to go home to get his things because he’s not sure he could face his parents. Namjoon is angry but forces himself to stay calm. He will take care of this later. For now…

“Jungkook. Would you like to come live in Seoul with me? My flat is tiny and it’s not always clean, and sometimes I spend days composing and forget to eat, and maybe... ” He’s babbling, he knows, but he’s afraid that Jungkook will reject his offer. He’s not sure what he will do if the younger man refuses to come with him and stays in Busan. Accept it, of course, but he can't be away from his soulmate again. And they need to find the others, and they are in Seoul, and he really, really needs Jungkook to say yes.  

As he speaks he realizes that Jungkook looks like he wants to say yes but is afraid to impose, which is stupid, because they’re soulmates and Jungkook’s just a young adult with nowhere to go and Namjoon would do anything to live with him. Jungkook is strong. But Jungkook is also terribly in need of someone he can count on. So Namjoon stops babbling, takes Jungkook’s hand in his and tells him with all the reassurance and love he can put in his voice:

“Kookie. I want you to come live with me. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but please let me help you at least.”

“I want to. Live with you, that’s it. I’m just not sure how I can repay you.”

Namjoon wants to say something about Jungkook not needing to repay him, whatever that means, but he’s someone who hates the feeling of being in debt, and he understands Jungkook won’t let him pay for everything.

So he tells him that he will help Jungkook with his future too, what he wants to do later, and that they will speak about things like rent when Jungkook is back on his feet (even if he’ll never accept money from the younger man. Jungkook doesn’t need to know this.)

Namjoon screams so loudly when Jungkook accepts that it’s a good thing they’re alone.

Jungkook goes to his friend’s house to pack his things. There’s not much, a camera, a computer, a few clothes, and it takes only a few minutes for him to be ready. He hugs his friend tightly and they leave, just like that. There’s a lightness in Jungkook’s steps that wasn’t there before and Namjoon laughs when the younger man starts running, pulling Namjoon along by the hand.

They take the train back to Seoul and Namjoon looks at Kook sleeping on his shoulder during the three hours it takes to get back. The younger man wakes up from time to time, mumbles something about a kiss (Namjoon obliges immediately) and then falls back asleep, exhausted by weeks of sleeping on a couch.

Namjoon spends three hours smiling at Jungkook’s sleeping form, unable to even comprehend the fact that it's his soulmate, his, that he found him. 

Now he needs to find the others too. 

Chapter Text

Namjoon and Jungkook don’t dream anymore. They do dream of course, but not with their soulmates and it worries them.  

At first, Namjoon thinks it’s normal, that it’s just hard to be all asleep at the same time and that it’s just a bad week. Maybe Yoongi has insomnia again. Maybe Hoseok is partying, maybe Jimin does all-nighters to study, maybe, maybe… Maybe it’s just a bad week.

But after a full week without sharing dreams with their soulmates, Jungkook tentatively tells him that maybe they can’t share dream anymore because they found each other.

Soulmates are supposed to be able to dream after they meet, and everything is supposed to be better because they can touch each other and share thoughts and dream about whatever they want.

But Namjoon and Jungkook don’t dream together either. It’s okay, really, Namjoon thinks as he watches Jungkook settling in slowly in his life and adding more and more of him in Namjoon’s flat. They’re okay, they get to kiss and cuddle and speak together for hours, and Jungkook falls asleep against Namjoon every night. He looks happier too, smiling more than Namjoon has seen him doing during months of dreaming.

When they wake up in the morning however, they can’t help but feel strangely lonely. Jungkook buries his face against Namjoon’s chest.

“Did you dream?” it comes out muffled but Namjoon gets it anyway because it’s been the same question every morning for the past week. And the same answer whispered against his soulmate’s hair:

“No, Kookie. Tonight, maybe.”

“Hyung.” Jungkook sounds resigned. Namjoon hums.

Jungkook moves around a bit and Namjoon lets him rearrange their position. Jungkook sits on his lap and cradles his face into his hands, a serious look in his eyes.

“We need to go find them. We won’t dream anymore.”

Namjoon’s breath catches. He thought about this possibility and he was trying to find a way and break it to Jungkook but it seems the younger man didn’t need help figuring out they were alone.

Well, they're not really alone. They have each other. But they are somehow, and the weird in-between weights tons on Namjoon’s heart.

They remember a lot, but it’s fading quickly. Namjoon curses himself for wanting to dream with them first and organizes how to meet because now it’s harder to remember. He remembers important things (Yoongi’s studio, Hoseok’s address) and tiny things that are important too but that won’t help him find them (Seokjin’s laugh; Tae’s love for strawberries; Jimin’s favorite movie) but the rest of the dreams are already almost entirely forgotten.

Jungkook is right: they need to go find them quickly .

Namjoon is apprehensive. He’s afraid it won’t go as well as it did with Kookie. What if it messes everything up? Jungkook finally has a home and found a kind of peace. He doesn’t want the younger man to be anything less than happy and safe ever again.

Rationally he knows meeting them won't change anything about his arrangement for Jungkook to live with him; but he's afraid, and he’s not really sure of what. To lose him, maybe. He remembers Jungkook looking at Seokjin like he is the sun while simultaneously playing and laughing so hard with him and the younger man would probably have more fun with Seokjin than with Namjoon anyway.

His face falls as he thinks and Jungkook, perfect Jungkook, puts his hands in Namjoon’s hair, kisses him on the forehead and tells him that they’re going to find the others and that it’s going to be okay.  

“I miss them.”

“I miss them too, Kookie.” And it’s true. He misses them so much it’s hard to breathe. He can’t keep Jungkook to himself and he can’t live without his other soulmates. He just hopes everything will go well and that he gets to have them all. It’s too much to ask but he can’t help it. He already feels like it’s going to be the seven of them or nothing.

They’re on their way to Yoongi’s studio the next day.

--

When Yoongi wakes up everything is eerily calm and peaceful for a second: he feels pain in his neck and remembers he didn't bother going to bed and passed out on the couch, (and yes, when he opens his eyes he’s sprawled on the too small couch in his sweatpants and with only one sock on); he takes in the peculiar color of the light this morning and knows it snowed during the night; he breathes in deeply and realizes he didn’t throw away the chinese food he got delivered the night before.

And then everything else comes back to him and he realizes it was yet another dreamless night. He groans and buries his face against the couch, fighting the urge to cry.

He hasn’t dreamt with his soulmates in a week. He pushes his face harder against the material and counts to ten, slowly. It’s okay, he can dream another night. It’s just a bad week.

He knows suffocation won’t help him dream so he reluctantly gets up and go takes a shower.

Under the water, slightly too hot to be comfortable, he tries to remember, but as always he doesn’t even remember a name.

It’s frustrating to miss people you can’t remember.

As he finishes getting ready he lets the empty feeling takes over for a few instants and presses his fists against his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t find them, and he doesn’t know if they can find him.

He shakes himself out of it after a few minutes and angrily wipes some tears that managed to escape. He needs to get out of his flat, so he does what he’s best at and goes to his studio, determined to spend a few days producing.

The fresh snow slows him down but he enjoys the quiet that comes with it and takes his time on his way. After a few minutes of walking, he arrives at the pretty old, probably dangerous building where he rents a room to produce his music.

He’s about to open the door when he hears two voices call him:

“Hyung!”

Yoongi freezes for a solid two seconds, his mind assaulted by memories of laughs and hours and hours of talking and so much warmth before he slowly turns into the direction of the voices.

A few meters away stand two men looking both hopeful and nervous.

Yoongi feels weak in the knees as he takes them in. They’re holding hands and they’re absolutely gorgeous, more than what he remembers now from the dreams.

So Namjoon found Jungkook and now they can’t dream anymore, he ponders. Yoongi isn’t mad. Actually, he’s immensely relieved and feels like he just got parts of him back.

Namjoon and Jungkook, on the other hand, look really uncomfortable. Yoongi huffs and walks to them.

“Why do you look like you’re about to run away? You came to find me,” he says as he steps in their personal space. Namjoon gulps.

“I missed you, idiots. Don’t do this to me ever again.” He tried to say it in a light tone but his voice breaks midway and he just sounds pathetic.

He’s immediately pulled against Namjoon’s chest, Jungkook coming behind him. He can feel trembling breathes against his neck and his forehead.

“We missed you too, Hyung," Jungkook whispers, and Yoongi feels okay again. 

--

They find Seokjin, Hoseok and Jimin easily in the next three days. There’s a lot of tears but even more smiles and laughter. 

Namjoon isn't afraid to lose Jungkook anymore and feels a little bit stupid for even considering it was possible. They all fit so perfectly and everything would be perfect.

Except they can’t fucking find Taehyung.

Out of all of them it had to be Tae, Namjoon thinks as he recalls his first meeting with him. Tae, who looked so terrified to leave one of his soulmates alone, scared that Namjoon was going to leave even though himself already had the others and shouldn’t have been so worried about his last soulmate. Tae, who always gives his full attention to everyone and who always speaks about the unsaid things, who always puts the seven of them as a group before himself.

The fact that they all can remember him but that Tae can’t and that he’s alone makes Namjoon so mad.

It’s ridiculous, really, that they’re unable to find him when they had all the pieces of information to do so.

In the first few days after meeting Jungkook, Namjoon could remember everything about Taehyung and his other soulmates. By the time he went looking for them and finally found them all, he couldn’t even remember if Taehyung lives in Seoul or not.

He didn't even fully realize he was forgetting, too busy with the others, too busy remembering other parts of the dreams. He just woke up one day and couldn't remember how Tae's voice sounds like. 

Namjoon waited too long and he doesn't think he’ll be able to forgive himself if they don’t find him.

Chapter Text

5 months later

The snow comes and goes and Namjoon doesn’t care. There's only one thought on his mind, just like when he was looking for Jungkook: find Taehyung.

The only thing he remembers about his soulmate is his name and Namjoon blames himself every day for having been so caught up with making new memories with the others that he let that happen. He knows they all feel like that.

How could they forget a person, their soulmate , because they were overwhelmed by all the relationships forming and couldn’t act any quicker?

There’s silence in their conversations sometimes where there shouldn’t be, there’s space in the bed where they could come closer, there’s a seventh toothbrush in Namjoon’s flat, there are signs everywhere around them that someone is missing, as if Taehyung was just away for a short period of time and as if he would come and take his place soon.

There's a Taehyung shaped hole in their life and they don’t even know what it’s supposed to look like.

Namjoon never finished producing his song.

He has all the elements now, Yoongi’s melody, Jungkook’s voice, his own lyrics, he could record it but it doesn't feel right to produce a song about someone who can’t actually know it’s for him.

Sometimes Namjoon catches traces of what he imagines is Taehyung, or at least parts of him.

A deep voice in a busy shop; a laugh in the movie theater; wind carrying a perfume he swears he smelled somewhere, only to realize it’s lotion and not an actual perfume,

He stops so suddenly when he smells the lotion for the first time that the man walking behind crashes into him.

Namjoon doesn’t apologize, too busy focusing on the fading scent. When he’s sure he didn’t dream it he starts walking again, wondering why he knows that it’s a lotion. He doesn’t even wear lotion.

Namjoon goes to Serendipity without thinking about it, the same old frustration taking him there.

And just like the first time, it’s Taehyung who finds Namjoon.

In Serendipity, of all damn places in this huge ass city, Taehyung is happily chatting with the old lady when Namjoon enters and freezes . Taehyung is smiling at the lady and turns to see who entered the shop when his smile grows impossibly bigger as he takes Namjoon in.

“And then-HYUNG!”

And just like the first time, Namjoon ends up on the ground but Tae is there and a solid weight this time. And it makes all the difference in the world.

-

Namjoon wakes up because it’s freezing cold and there’s a heavy sensation of deja vu that’s not letting him breathe properly.

He needs to open his eyes and confirm that it wasn’t just a dream, but he tries to hold onto the warmth he was dreaming about in case it was actually all in his head and he never actually found anyone.

In the end, he doesn’t have to open his eyes to know he’s not alone, because there’s the distinctive sound of someone (six someones) breathing deeply.

Namjoon opens his eyes to find himself on the sofa and his six boyfriends sleeping right beside him, snuggled under a blanket. Namjoon is not in the cuddle pile anymore and he suspects Yoongi to have pushed him in his sleep in an attempt to get a hold of Taehyung’s hand.

It’s August but it’s not snowing. Namjoon inhales deeply. It’s okay.

The AC is just too strong. It’s the first real hot day of the year and they went a little overboard with the cold hair but that’s expected when seven grown men want to cuddle under a blanket.

It’s not snowing. The knot in Namjoon’s stomach disappears.

Namjoon looks at Yoongi’s hand firmly gripping Tae’s.

They’re still more protective of the younger man. They’re afraid Taehyung might disappear again and they’re not trusting their memory. They left clues everywhere. Namjoon hid letters and pictures in every book about soulmates he found in Serendipity.

They got tattoos. Not their names, because they know they won’t forget that, but snowflakes and coordinates of a beach in Busan.

It’s corny. They know.

Namjoon looks at his soulmates asleep together in a mess of limbs on the sofa and gets back under the blanket, feeling dazed. He shifts a bit and everyone in the cuddle pile suddenly get closer and hold him tight.

He wonders if they’re waiting for him to fall asleep so they can all get back to dreaming together.

Probably.

As he lets sleep overcome him, he can’t help but think about snow.

They came to him like snow. He woke up one morning, it had snowed in August and suddenly he wasn’t alone anymore. Why snow? It may have been to find Jungkook. It may be because of himself. It doesn’t matter anymore.

They started dreaming together again when they found Taehyung and even if it's still snowing, it's not bittersweet anymore.

Namjoon welcomes the snow falling on him like an old friend when he opens his eyes and finds himself laying on a beach, screams and laughs of his soulmates echoing around him.