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Chapter Text

It was late at night. Jihoon gained his consiousness after a couple of hours, all sweaty and exhausted. It was a bit dark, with only a candle lighting up the room. Jihoon looked around and saw two young men standing at the corner of the room talking with each other.

‘Who are they?’ he thought. He can’t see the faces of those men since they are wearing masks. He was about to move when he notice that his body and arms are tied to the chair he is sitting on. He can’t even talk because of the handkerchief covering his mouth.

“This is absurd! Why do we even have to do this?” said one of the guy. He is wearing a black face mask.

The other guy faced him. “We do not have a choice! This is the only way.”

“But hyung, what if we get caught? What are we gonna do?” the two of them began to argue. Jihoon just watched them while he tried and struggled to free himself from ropes tied onto him.

“We just have to get the ransom money. That’s it.” the other guy replied. He poured himself a drink.

Then the black-masked guy turned his head to where Jihoon is. He walked over and took the handkerchief off Jihoon’s mouth. “Are you okay?”

“ARE YOU NUTS?! YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA ASK ME IF I’M FINE? THAT’S PURE BULLSHIT!” Jihoon cannot contain his frustration with what’s happening to him. The black-masked guy just looked away. “I swear, the police will get you anytime soon.” he glared at them.

“Will you put that back on his mouth before I loss my patience, for god’s sake.” the other guy said. The black-masked guy just did whaat he was told and began covering Jihoon’s mouth with handkerchief again then he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

After a couple of hours, they began hearing a lot of police sirens going towards where they are.

‘You are so screwed’ Jihoon thought.

“Oh, shit. Hyung, what are we gonna do?” they began panicking. They peeked through the window to check what’s happening outside. And yes, they saw a lot of police flocking outside with their guns pointing towards their location.

The other guy began untying the ropes tied around Jihoon’s body, then he locked his arm around Jihoon’s neck and pointed the gun to his head.

Jihoon felt a thump in his chest. He doesn’t know what to do. He was nervous a while ago, but feeling the gun touching he side of his head made him three times more nervous.

The guy began dragging Jihoon towards the windows.

“The ransom money is already here, you have to free Lee Jihoon now!” They heard the police speak through a megaphone.

“WHO ARE YOU FOOLING? YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THE MONEY FIRST BEFORE I FREE THIS GUY.” the guy shouted through the windows.

“You have to listen to u--”

*BANG*

The police did not even finished what they are going to say. The guy fired his gun to the roof causing all of them to be startled.

“YOU WILL GIVE ME THE MONEY OR THE NEXT BULLET WILL BE TOWARDS HIS HEAD.”

“Hyung, No!” the black-masked guy can’t also keep still. He’s also nervous of what his friend will do.

The police still isn’t moving. They are too afraid to make a move.

‘I’m sorry hyung, I have to do this for us.’ the black-masked guy immediately grabbed a piece of wood and hit the head of the other guy. Then he immediately grabbed Jihoon’s arm and dragged him to his side. Jihoon took the handkerchief off his mouth and threw it on the floor.

“Hoshi, you jerk!” the other guy was still kneeling with pain while holding onto the back of his head.

“Look, we have to take the back door. No questions.” Jihoon just nodded and the two of them ran towards the back door.

‘So this guy’s name is Hoshi, huh?’ Jihoon just stared at the guy who is guiding him.

The other guy still managed to stand up and grab his gun. He fired his gun towards the two, but luckily they already stepped out of the door.

They ran through the forest, with Jihoon’s arm still being held by this guy. Jihoon is not sure where this guy is going to take him, so he stopped for a moment.

“What are you doing?” Hoshi turned his head and moved closer to him.

“I… I…don’t know if I can trust you. I’m scared.” Jihoon said while looking away.

Hoshi held his shoulders “Look at me.” Jihoon turned his head and looked at him. His eyes were catching the light of the moon. They are so warm and gentle, it kept him calm. Hoshi began to whisper. “Don’t worry, I will not leave you alone. You can trust me.” Hoshi held his shoulders tighter. Jihoon took a deep inhale and nodded.

“Go now, I’ll be right behind you. I’ll tell you where to go.” Jihoon began to run forward and Hoshi followed him. Jihoon is still curious of what he looks like. His face was still covered with a mask.

They continued to run but then they suddenly heard a gunshot. Jihoon, turned his head at the back to check on Hoshi but he was already lying on the ground, bleeding. He had been shot.

“HOSHI!”

The sound of gunfires were going closer and closer to them.

They heard a voice shouting “Hoshi, you son of a bitch! Where are you!” then followed by another gunshot.

Jihoon helped Hoshi stood up. Hoshi was holding onto his shoulders.

“C’mon we have to hurry.” Jihoon was about to walk forward when Hoshi stopped him. “No. YOU have to hurry. If you continue running straight, you’ll soon reach the streets. You can get help then.” Jihoon looked at him, surprised.

Gunshots are still being fired in the air.

“I can’t leave you here!” Jihoon said. He’s still nervous but he can’t help but to worry as well.

Hoshi shook his head. “Don’t worry, I-I’ll be fine.”

Right then, they heard the voice of the other guy nearby. “There you are. How can you just leave me like that?!” he walked forward.

Hoshi leaned his head towards Jihoon’s ears. “At the count of three, you have to run as fast as you can. Don’t look back.”

Jihoon inhaled deeply. “One…”

The guy took another step forward while pointing his gun towards them.

“Two…”

Jihoon gathered courage and prepared himself.

“You can’t escape. Get ready to die.” the guy said. He is only a feet away from them.

…

“THREE!” Hoshi pushed him and kicked the other guy in the abdomen causing him to drop the gun he’s holding. “RUN!” Jihoon was still surprised but his feet started moving and he ran away from the place.

‘Don’t look back, don’t look back’ Jihoon kept on repeating the words in inside his head. He heard the gun fire again but he had no choice but to keep on moving forward.

‘I have to keep running’  he wiped off the sweat on his forehead.

He can already see the streetlights but then his feet suddenly slipped on a rock causing him to roll down the cliff.

“AHHHHH!” he suddenly felt a loud thud on his head. He reached for his head and felt the blood dripping out his scalp. He banged his head onto a huge rock, causing it to bleed heavily.

Although groggy, Jihoon tried his best to stay awake. He tried screaming but to words are coming out from his mouth.

‘I have to go home.’

And everything went blank.

“I’m sorry but he will lose his sense of hearing.” the doctor told Jihoon’s mom. Jihoon is still lying on the hospital bed, unconsious.

His mom can’t do anything but cry. She was worrying about how Jihoon would react about this.

‘No, my son can’t lose his sense of hearing, please.’

Music.

If there was one thing that makes Jihoon happy…it would be music.

Jihoon’s mom walked towards the room where Jihoon was staying. She sat beside his son and began caressing his hair while tears are still falling from her eyes.

“Jihoon-ah, I’m so sorry. You have to live differently from now on.”

Chapter Text

6 months later…

Jihoon got up early in the morning. He reached for his phone, plugged his earphones, and put it on his ears.

*Now Playing: Chopin - Nocturne op. 9 no. 2*

Jihoon closed his eyes as his mind plays the song. He began moving his fingers as if he’s playing a piano, swinging his head left and right.

Yes, he lost his sense of hearing. But his sense for music was never gone. He may not hear the music he’s listening to, but his heart and his mind already memorized the keys.

Lee Jihoon.

He grew up from a very well known family. His father is a businessman and his mother was a famous musician (from whom, he guess, he inherited the talent). His mom taught him how to play the piano when he was a little kid and by then, he learned to love music. He became famous because of having what they call ‘the absolute pitch’. His parents believe that what he has was not just a talent, but a gift. Well in fact, he is one of the top performing students in the most prestigious university in Korea.

Someone tapped his shoulders. [Jihoon-ah, breakfast is ready.] It’s his mom.

He took his earphones out of his ears and went out of bed.

[Okay, I’ll be there.] He washed up and changed his clothes quickly and went to the dining area.

Jihoon was supposed to be in his third year as a music major in the university, but his parents forced him to be homeschooled. Jihoon can’t blame them, his parents suffered so much when ‘that incident’ happened

[Jihoon, aren’t you really going to use your hearing aids?]  his mom is still using sign language to communicate to him. But he does know how to read lips, so it became easier.

[Mom, we already talked about this right?] he said while fiddling his food with chopsticks.

It is his own personal choice not to use hearing aids. He somewhat loved the peace and silence his condition is giving him. He had more time to relax without any noise bothering him.

[I’m going somewhere.] he sipped the remaining juice off his glass and grabbed his bag and jacket

His mom nodded but she looks at him worriedly. [Come back safe.]

He gave his mom a smile. [I will. I love you, mom]

He went out of their house and started walking to the streets.

Everyone seems so busy, walking and talking to each other. He does admit that his life already changed. Of course, he blames those kidnappers for what they did to him.

‘I wish the police will catch them already’ Jihoon thought. It’s been six months and the police still haven’t caught those guys and it’s frustrating him.

He walked towards his favorite cafe. He pushed the door and went to the counter to order a drink. He saw a guy, (maybe same his age), wearing a black apron above a white long-sleeved polo with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Jihoon read his name tag. ‘Kwon Soon Young’

“Good morning! May I take your order?” the guy greeted him with a smile that eyes can be barely seen.

‘I guess he’s new here.’ he thought. He picked up a piece of paper from his pockets and wrote: One medium-sized Iced Americano, then he gave it to the guy new guy named Soonyoung.

“Oh! It’s Jihoon!” Jihoon noticed the other barista who just came out of the kitchen.

‘It’s Joshua’

[Hello, Joshua.] Jihoon waved his hands.

“Soonyoung, give him one medium-sized Iced Americano.” said Joshua.

Soonyoung looked at him. “Joshua, you know him?”

Joshua smiled and tapped Soonyoung’s shoulders. “Of course! He’s a regular customer here.” then he pointed to the table with a ‘Reserved’ sign on top of it. “He’ll sit there. It’s his favorite spot.”

Jihoon looked at them confusely.

[I’m sorry Jihoon, it’s actually his first day at the cafe today.] he smiled [You may take your seat already, Soonyoung will give you your drink after a few minutes.]

Jihoon gave him a little smile and walked towards his favorite spot.

This is why Jihoon likes this cafe a lot. The staff knows how to communicate through sign language. It made him feel comfortable. It made him feel as if he belong, just like before.

He took his seat and looked outside. Observing people bacame one of his hobbies. He’s actually becoming an expert in reading people’s facial expressions. He knows when a person is happy, sad, excited, nervous, but most of all, he knows when a person is lying. Just by looking at the eyes.

Eyes.

Those eyes. He can still remember those eyes.

He felt a little thud on the table. Jihoon turned his head and saw Soonyoung standing in front of him while he placed his drink on the table. They stared at each other for a while. Jihoon gave him a small bow. Soonyoung quickly snapped back and bowed as well, then he return to the counter.

Jihoon felt something familiar when he looked at Soonyoung, but he was quite unsure of what it is.

It is, perhaps, a very strange feeling, but not scary at all.

Jihoon noticed Joshua waving at him while pointing to the piano in front.

[You wanna play?]

Jihoon looked around with a bit of hesitation. Then he saw Soonyoung looking at him.

‘I guess playing one song won’t hurt.’ he said to himself.

He took a deep breath and walked forward. His feet making it’s way towards the piano.

[I will just play one song.] he told Joshua. Joshua gave him a thumbs up.

Jihoon began placing his finger on the piano keys and started playing.

*Frederic Chopin - Minute Waltz*

Jihoon learned playing this piece when he was around 7 years old. It was really close to his heart since this is the piece that he plays together with his mom everytime.  

Soonyoung just looked at him with pure amusement. He continued to stare at him as Jihoon plays the piano while closing his eyes, feeling every touch of the keys in his fingers. Soonyoung can’t help but smile.

“He’s really good right?” Joshua bumped his sides. Soonyoung just nodded. He’s still not taking his eyes off Jihoon. “Don’t stare at him for too long, he might melt.” Joshua whispered and laughed. Soonyoung gave him a little push.

Jihoon immediately stood up after finishing the piece. He turned his head to the two guys standing beside the counter.

[How does it sound? I haven’t played that piece for a long time.] Jihoon scratched his nape and looked away.

[Don’t worry, it was great! You earned a fan, actually.] Joshua tapped Jihoon’s shoulders. Jihoon turned his head to Soonyoung, but Soonyoung looked away.

[Thanks.] Jihoon paused for a while. [I should actually get going, my mom’s gonna worry if I stay out for too long.] he went to his table and grabbed his bag.

[Bye, Jihoon] Joshua waved. Jihoon waved back.

“Nice meeting you.” Soonyoung said.

Jihoon read his lips. [Nice meeting you too.]

Chapter Text

Jihoon grabbed his phone and plopped himself onto the nearest sofa. He logged in to the online chat website he discovered a few months ago.

Username:Wxxzi

Password:**********

Log in

It was actually just for fun at first because he was too bored, but he eventually made a friend. A guy with the username: Kwxnsxxn. He just felt comfortable while talking to him, thought they haven’t met yet.

Kwxnsxxn: HEY! Long time no talk!

>Wxxzi: Uhhhm, we talked the other day.

Kwxnsxxn: HAHAHAHA! I know!

>Wxxzi: Whatever…

Kwxnsxxn: What are you up to these days?

>Wxxzi: Nothing much… just the same old routine everyday

Kwxnsxxn: pffftt…it sucks..

>Wxxzi: yeah…right.

Kwxnsxxn:……

>Wxxzi:…..

Kwxnsxxn: wanna hang out?

>Wxxzi: what?

Kwxnsxxn: let’s hang out! C’mon, I don’t want you to die from boredom.

>Wxxzi: I don’t know, my parents…

Kwxnsxxn: we’ll comeback before evening.

>Wxxzi: Idk

Kwxnsxxn: c’mooooonn.

Jihoon felt a palm on his shoulders. He turned his head behind and saw his mom looking at him.

[Have you eaten yet?]

Jihoon shook his head [Not yet. Can you order chicken for me?]

His mom nodded and reached for the telephone to make the order. Jihoon loves his mom so much, he loves his parents so much, but he thinks they are being a little bit overprotective with him ever since the kidnapping incident happened.

[The delivery will arrive in a few minutes. You can get the door right?]

Jihoon looked at the door. [Yep.] It won’t bother him since it was specially designed and will give a signal if someone is waiting outside.

His mom stood up from her seat. She was about to walk when she remembered something. She looked at her son again. [Jihoon, are you ready for you recital?]

Jihoon suddenly became surprised with what his mom said. [Recital?]

[Yes, I told you last month. It is for the opening of the charity that we will have.]

Jihoon took a deep breath. He completely forgot about about it. [When is it?]

His mom looked at the calendar. [It would be two weeks from now.]

‘Two weeks?’ 

He still can’t figure out how he’ll do his preparations within two weeks. He just looked at his mom and gave her a fake smile. [Alright. I’ll prepare for it. I’ll let you know so we can have a dry run.] His mom hugged him tighlty and returned to the kitchen.

‘Oh god, what am I gonna do?’

He slapped his palm onto his forehead and lied down on the sofa for a few minutes. He was still in his piano recital crisis when he saw their door camera blink.

‘It must be the delivery guy.’

Jihoon slid his feet into his slipper, grabbed his wallet and walked towards their gate.

“Hi! Your order is he--oh? You’re Jihoon right? At the cafe?” It was Soonyoung. Jihoon looked a bit surprised with the sight of him. Soonyoung is still smiling back at him.

Jihoon pointed the box of chicken that he is currently holding and gave him the payment. Soonyoung snapped back. “Ah! yeah. I’m sorry, here is your order.”

‘This guy is so talkative, does he even know that I can’t hear him?’ Jihoon reached for the box of chicken. [Thank you.]

[You’re welcome] Soonyoung gave him a shy smile. “Is that right? I’m still learning sign language. I’m not that good yet” he scratched the back of his head.

Jihoon smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up, then he went inside their house.

Soonyoung just stood there, outside. He can still remember Jihoon and what happened six months ago, but it seems like Jihoon is still clueless.

‘Does he remember me?’ Soonyoung thought.

Jihoon went back to his seat and opened his phone again.

Kwxnsxxn: hey

Kwxnsxxn: what

Kwxnsxxn: is

Kwxnsxxn: your

Kwxnsxxn:decision

Kwxnsxxn:now????????? :)

>Wxxzi:ugh, why are you spamming me?

Kwxnsxxn: Let’s hang out! Yes or yes?

>Wxxzi: Alright. When?

Kwxnsxxn: OKAY! This Saturday?

>Wxxzi: Mmmm, okay. I’ll tell my parents.

Kwxnsxxn: I’ll see you @ around 10am, let’s meet at the nearest park.

>Wxxzi: Got it!

Kwxnsxxn: See you!

Jihoon threw his phone beside him and reached for the box of chicken. He walked towards the kitchen to eat and to ask permission to his mom.

[Oh? The delivery already arrived? I’ll get you a plate and a bowl of rice.]

Jihoon sat down and waited for his mom to return.

‘What should I tell her?’

His mom laid the plate and the bowl of rice in front of him and took a seat. [Eat now. You must be very hungry.]

Jihoon started eating, bute he is still thinking of an excuse to go out on Saturday.

[Mom, can I go out this weekend?]

His mom looked at him surprised. [Why? You don’t usually go out during weekends.]

[Uhmmmm] Jihoon bit his lower lip and looked down. He suddenly thought of something. [Ah! The recital… A friend is going to help me pick songs for the recital]

His mom was not convinced at first but she allowed his son in the end. [Okay, but go home early.]

[I will.]

Saturday @ 10am

Jihoon arrived at the park and sat on a bench. He reached for his bag and took his hearing aids out. It’s been a long time since he talked normally to other people. He thought he might need it so that his friend and him would have a proper conversation. He put it onto his ears and waited.

He felt his phone vibrate inside his pockets.

Kwxnsxxn: Where are you???

>Wxxzi: I’m sitting on the bench. Black shirt and jeans.

Kwxnsxxn: Got it.

Jihoon felt a light tap on his shoulders, so he turned his head to his side. He saw a guy wearing a gray sweater, black ripped jeans and sneakers. He looked at his face and both of them got startled upon seeing each others’ faces.

“YOU?!” both of them said.

The guy chuckled. “Hi, Jihoon. It’s me… Soonyoung.”

Chapter Text

Jihoon can’t still believe that he’s gonna be stuck with this guy, again, for a day. First, at the cafe, second, he’s the delivery guy, and third, this. Apparently, Soonyoung was his online friend all along.

“Hey! Why aren’t you talking?” Soonyoung said while taking a bite off his chocolate bar. They are currently on their way to the museum. Jihoon just stared at him.

“You’ve got hearing aids today, so, I suppose you can hear me very well.” Soonyoung said.

Jihoon turned his head to Soonyoung “Yes. I can hear you very well.” Soonyoung smile upon hearing Jihoon talk. Jihoon knows he doesn’t have to be this kind of awkward since he and Soonyoung have been talking for months now. Technically, they are close friends.

“Ahhh. Good to know. I thought I’ll be talking to myself the entire day.” Soonyoung grinned at him. “Here we are. Fantaise. C’mon let’s go inside.”

“Fantaise? This is all VIP kind of museum-slash-theater right? Do we even have tickets?” Jihoon asked him. The last time he went here was when he was seven years old and it was the retirement concert of his mom.

“Aigooo. Why are you so worried?” Soonyoung shook his head and reached for his pockets. He took out two VIP tickets and showed it to Jihoon. Jihoon looked at him amazed then Soonyoung leaned over to Jihoon’s ears and whispered “We’ve got the front row seats.” and winked at him.

“How?” Jihoon asked but Soonyoung just shrugged his shoulders. Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s arm and pulled him inside the hall.

They spent many hours touring together around the museum. Jihoon felt so happy that he’s spending his day inside this museum. He looked at Soonyoung who’s also busy looking at the things inside the museum. This is actually what made them friends. They both like--nope, scratch that, they both LOVE music.

‘I guess I owe him one.’ Jihoon thought.

Jihoon tugged Soonyoung’s shirt. Soonyoung looked at him. “Yes?”

Jihoon wanted to thank Soonyoung but he can’t figure out the right words. He’s shy.

“Announcement! The Fantaise Concert is about to begin. To all the attendees, please proceed now to the music theater. Thank you!” they heard a woman's voice coming out from the speakers.

“If you have something to say, you can just tell me later. We have to hurry, we can’t miss the first performance.” Soonyoung said while smiling at him.

“Okay.”

They reached their seats on time. Jihoon can’t contain the excitement that he is feeling and can’t help but smile.

 When the orchestra started to play their piece, Soonyoung can’t help but look at Jihoon. Jihoon already has his eyes closed, feeling the music.

‘He hasn’t changed a bit. Like, the first time I saw him.’ Soonyoung thought. He kept on glancing at Jihoon with a smile on his face the entire time. He will just look away once Jihoon opens his eyes. He can’t deny it. He likes him, he likes him too much.

The orchestra played a couple of pieces before ending the concert.

Both of them stood up as soon as the concert ended and walked towards the exit.

“That was really beautiful.” Jihoon said while smiling from ear to ear.

Soonyoung looked at him “Yes. Very beautiful indeed.”

None of them talked for a few minutes. Too shy to start a conversation. But Jihoon felt that he should already express his gratitude to Soonyoung for what he did today.

“Thanks.” Jihoon said.

“For what?”

“Uh.. for this. It’s been a long time since I watched a concert.”

They are already walking at the streets. They are busy looking around whe it started raining heavily. They both ran towards a shed to avoid being soaked by the rain.

“Uh-oh. Do you have an umbrella?” Soonyoung asked but Jihoon shook his head worriedly.

Soonyoung sighed “We can’t stay here. It’s too cold.” then he took something out of his bag. “Here, I have an extra jacket. You wear this. My house is just a few blocks away, but we have to run fast. Got it!”

Jihoon stood there, still clueless but he began wearing Soonyoung’s jacket.

Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s hand. “On the count of three.” Jihoon put the hood on top of his head and nodded.

“One”

Jihoon gripped Soonyoung’s hand tighter. He felt like he was holding the same hand from six months ago.

“Two”

He can’t be wrong. And his voice, almost sounds the same.

…

“Three! RUN!”

Jihoon snapped back as Soonyoung suddenly pulled his hand. They began running as fast as they can, avoiding the rain. Jihoon felt weird at first, but he trusts Soonyoung. Just like how he trusted Hoshi back then.

Hoshi

He can still remember his name.

The name of the guy who saved him. The guy whom he gave his trust.

Ater spending around ten minutes running along the the streets. They finally reacheed Soonyoung’s apartment. They felt relieved as they enter the house. Jihoon looked around. It is quite small, just enough for one person. There’s TV, sofa, a small kitchen and dining area, but on thing that caught Jihoon’s eyes was the thing located at the corner of the living room. A small piano.

“Take off your clothes.”

“WHAT?!”

Soonyoung laughed and threw Jihoon a shirt and a pair of shorts. “Take off your clothes, and change into those. You can hung your clothes to let them dry.” Soonyoung walked over to Jihoon, until they are so close that they can hear each other’s breath. Soonyoung has his hair wet from the rain. Even his shirt. It wet enough to see the silhouette of his body. Jihoon’s heart began racing so fast. Soonyoung smirked at Jihoon and leaned towards his ears. “You are not thinking about something dirty. Aren’t you?”

Jihoon suddenly regretted wearing his hearing aids. This guy is getting into his nerves. He pushed Soonyoung away from him. “Shut up.” and headed towards the bathroom to change.

Jihoon walked to the sofa and sat beside Soonyoung who is still drying his hair with a piece of towel. He tapped Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“You play piano?”

Soonyoung looked at the piano at the corner of the room. “Before, yes.”

“Now?” Jihoon gave him a curious look.

Soonyoung lifted his right arm and showed it to Jihoon. Jihoon looked at it carefully and noticed a scar. “It’s hard to play piano with my hand’s condition. It is damaged badly.”

“Your piano will rot if you don’t use it.”

“Then I’ll give you the permission to use it.” Jihoon’s face suddenly became happy.

“Can I use it now?”

“Sure.”

Jihoon rushed to the piano seat and began playing. Soonyoung got up from his seat and sat beside Jihoon. He began pressing some of the keys with his left hand.

Jihoon stopped playing and reached for Soonyoung’s right hand. He placed his hand on top of Soonyoung’s hand and guided them in playing.

*Frederic Chopin - Tritesse*

They continued playing until the piece was finished. Jihoon looked at his watch.

“I think I already have to go home.” Jihoon was about to stood up from his seat when Soonyoung grabbed his hand again.

“Jihoon, can you come here often.” Jihoon can’t say anything. He knows his parents won’t allow him to go out often, but Soonyoung is staring at him as if he was begging him not to go.

“I don’t know.” Jihoon was about to pull his hand away from Soonyoung, but Soonyoung gripped his hand tighter.

“Please.”

“Soonyoung, I-I real--” Jihoon did not even finish what he was about to say because Soonyoung pulled him into a hug. Jihoon got startled with what Soonyoung did but there is something that is stopping him from pulling away from the hug.

Soonyoung buried his face into Jihoon’s neck. “Jihoon-ah, I like you.”

Jihoon’s heart began beating so fast. He knew that he also has feelings for Soonyoung, he’s just not ready to show it, yet.

‘What am I gonna do?’ Jihoon thought.

Soonyoung whispered to his ear again. “Let’s date.”

Jihoon suddenly pulled away from the hug. “Soonyoung, I’m so sorry. Can you give me some time? I appreciate your feelings for me but…” Soonyoung gave him a sad smile.

“I understand. You must be really surprised with what I said.” Soonyoung walked away to get his things. “It’s getting late, you must go home now.”

Jihoon felt bad. He reached for his things and walked slowly towards the door. He kept on looking at Soonyoung but he just stood there with his head bowed down  while waiting for Jihoon to leave the room.

Jihoon felt like his heart was breaking into pieces. It’s not like everyday that he meets someone that he could trust. He doesn’t want to lose someone like Soonyoung. He doesn’t want to lose Soonyoung.

He was about to reach for the door knob and step out of the room when he suddenly dropped his things and ran towards Soonyoung. He pulled Soonyoung’s face close to him and pressed his lips onto Soonyoung’s. Soonyoung slowly placed his arms around Jihoon’s waist as he kiss him back. Jihoon can feel the warmth as they both continued to kiss. He likes it. He likes it so much. His lips were so soft and Jihoon can’t help but to kiss him deeper.

The two broke from the kiss after a while, each of them catching their breaths. Jihoon cupped Soonyoung’s face and stared at him directly in the eye.

“I like you too, Soonyoung. Let’s date.”

Chapter Text

“Mom, are you going somewhere?” Jihoon asked his mom who is busy packing her things.

“I have a flight today to America. Business matters.” She replied. She looked at Jihoon and noticed something. “You’re wearing your hearing aids today? It’s a surprise.”

Jihoon just shrugged and scratched his nape. “Yeah. So that it would be easy for me to talk to my friend.”

“You’re friend that helps you for your recital? By the way, how is it going? Are you practicing already?”

“Uhmmm… Yep.” Jihoon let out a fake laugh. “How many days are you staying there?”

His mom sighed. “A week. I don’t want to leave you alone here but I really have to be there.” his mom walked towards him and gave him a hug. “Take care, okay? I’ll call everyday to check on you. Hm?”

Jihoon nodded and hugged his mom tightly. “Okay, take care as well. Tell dad I miss him.”

Soonyoung heard a loud knock on his door early in the morning. He slowly got out of bed and began walking towards the door although half-awake.

‘Aish. Who is it? It’s too early.' He yawned as he reached for the doorknob. As soon as the door opened, a guy jumped onto him and gave him a hug. “I missed you.” the guy burried his face into Soonyoung’s chest.

Soonyoung got startled and looked at the guy who hugged him. “Jihoon?”

Jihoon gave him a shy smile. Soonyoung noticed the bag on the floor.

“Where are you going?”Soonyoung asked Jihoon. He still has his bed hair and his voice is still raspy from waking up. Jihoon carried his bags and entered Soonyoung’s house.

“Here.” Jihoon plopped his bag into the sofa and sat down. Soonyoung stood in front of him giving him a clueless look.

Jihoon explained. “My mom went to America. I don’t want to be alone in the house so I went here.” he lied down on the sofa, making himself comfortable. “Sleepover.”

“Okay. For how long?” Soonyoung asked.

“Three days.”

“Three days?!”

“Why? You don’t want me here? Fine.” Jihoon pouted. “I’ll just go.” he reached for his bag. He was about to stand up when Soonyoung immediately rushed beside him and gave him a tight hug. Soonyoung buried his face into Jihoon’s neck and whispered. “No. Stay here. I miss you so much. I just got surprised.” then he playfully flicked Jihoon’s forehead.

Jihoon chuckled. “I’m sorry. I really want to surprise you.” Jihoon cupped Soonyoung face and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Soonyoung broke the hug and stood up. “I’ll just wash up. Make yourself comfortable.” Soonyoung reached for his towel and went to shower.

Jihoon started looking around the house. He noticed the pictures displayed on top of a drawer.

‘It must be his family.’ he thought. He spent his time looking at the pictures. There is Soonyoung with his parents and a little girl. He can’t help but smile. He began opening the drawer.

“Music sheets, notebooks…oh what’s this?” Jihoon reached for a bracelet. Silver, thick bracelet with the letter ‘H’ engraved on it. He studied the bracelet carefully.

“H? wonder what this letter means.” he whispered to himself.

“JIHOON-AH! YOU OKAY THERE?” Soonyoung shouted inside the bathroom.

“YEP. I’M FINE.” He instantly put back the bracelet inside the drawer and walked towards the piano.

He began pressing the keys one by one and played every single song that he knows. Soonyoung just finished showering and tip-toed his way to Jihoon. He covered Jihoon’s eyes with his fingers but Jihoon continued playing the piano.

“Wow! My Jihoon-ie is really good.” Soonyoung removed his fingers on Jihoon’s eyes and messed up his hair.

Jihoon laughed. “I know. I’m a music genius.” he turned his head to Soonyoung, who is behind him. His eyes got wide upon seeing Soonyoung standing there, with his hair still wet from the shower, wearing only a pair of shorts, and yep, shirtless. Shirtless Soonyoung. Jihoon gulped upon seeing this and yelled.

“YA! WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING SOMETHING?” he began slapping Soonyoung’s arms, pushing him away.

“Hey! I’m wearing shorts.”

“YA!”

Soonyoung giggled. He’s fascinated with Jihoon’s reaction and decided to tease him some more. “Okay fine, I’ll wear a shirt.. but Jihoon..” he slowly moved closer to Jihoon and sat beside him. Jihoon just stared at him, frozen, not knowing what to do. Soonyoung gave him a smirk and leaned towards him. Jihoon tried moving his body away from Soonyoung but the latter already had his hand clasped on his waist.

Soonyoung pulled Jihoon closer to him and began planting small kisses on the younger’s neck. Jihoon tried to resist but the feeling is intoxicating him. He closed his eyes feeling Soonyoung’s lips on his neck. It’s so smooth and moist. Then, Soonyoung’s hands suddenly found its way under Jihoon’s shirt, feeling his smooth and bare skin. Every touch of Soonyoung is enough for Jihoon to tremble with pleasure.

“Fuck, Soonyoung.” Jihoon shifted position and sat on Soonyoung’s lap, with his legs tangled on Soonyoung’s waist. He grabbed Soonyoung’s hair and started kissing him deeply, full of desire and hunger. Soonyoung got a bit shock of what Jihoon just did, but he also kissed him back.

The two shared a long passionate kiss, before Soonyoung lifted Jihoon up, making their way to the sofa. The two broke the kiss after while.

“I just want to tease you.” Soonyoung chuckled.

“Well, fuck you.”

“I love you too.” Soonyoung pecked him on the cheek.

Jihoon is still sitting on Soonyoung’s lap. His fingers are entangled around Soonyoung’s neck while the other has his arms around Jihoon’s waist.

“You have the same eyes as him.” Jihoon said. Soonyoung stared at him curiously.

“Who’s ‘him’?” Soonyoung asked.

“The guy who saved me six months ago.” Jihoon paused. “I got kidnapped back then, he was actually one of the kidnappers, but this guy helped me escape.”

Soonyoung felt a bit nervous. Jihoon still remembers him.

“Do you know his name?”

Jihoon nodded. “Mm. His name, from what I heard, is Hoshi.”

Soonyoung was left speechless upong hearing what Jihoon said. He’s happy that Jihoon remembered him, but the problem is how can he tell Jihoon that he is Hoshi.

“Pssshh. I bet my eyes are prettier.” Soonyoung joked.

Jihoon slapped his arms. “In your dreams.”

“But if you will have the chance to meet him again, what will you do? I mean, don’t you hate him?”

Jihoon shrugged. “Well, I partly hate him because of what they did, but I also owe him my life, so… I don’t really know.” Jihoon let out a sigh.

Soonyoung did not say any word. He just hugged Jihoon tightly.

‘Jihoon-ah, I’m sorry. I will soon tell you the truth, I promise.’

“Soonyoung-ah, I have a recital. Help me decide on what piece I should play.” Jihoon said while sitting in front of the piano, again. Only a few days left till the recital, but he still hasn’t made up his mind.

“I heard a piece before. Uhmm, what’s the title of that...” Soonyoung placed his hand on his forehead thinking deeply. “Ah! Smile Flower! Yes. Smile Flower. ” Soonyoung gave Jihoon a big smile. “I don’t know who wrote it though.”

“How did you know that piece?” Jihoon asked Soonyoung with full of surprise.

“I..just happen..to hear it.”

Jihoon wondered.

‘I played that song only once…in my school admissions. How come he knew about it?’

Jihoon suddenly played the song. Smile Flower. The first song that he composed. He effortlessly moved his finger on the piano, pressing each key. Soonyoung was left in a state of shock. He has no idea that Jihoon knows the song.

“Your amazing. You really know the song.” Soonyoung flashed him a thumbs up.

“Of course, silly. I wrote it.” Jihoon laughed upon seeing Soonyoung’s reaction. “Ah! Can you help me make some invitations? I’m planning to invite my previous schoolmates and teachers to my recital.”

Soonyoung smiled. “Of course. I’ll also accompany you in giving out the invitations.”

“Okay, let’s start making them now. We have to give them by tomorrow.”

“You study here?” Soonyoung asked Jihoon. Seoul Music and Arts University, the most prestigious university in Korea.

“Yep, before. I’m homeschooled now.” They entered the university and walked along the corridors.

“Jihoon!” a guy ran towards them, waving his hands. “Long time no see!”

“Dokyeom-ah!” Jihoon gave the guy a hug.

“Oh? Is your hearing okay, now?” Dokyeom asked Jihoon. Soonyoung stood behind Jihoon and watched them talk.

“Nope. Not yet, I’m wearing these.” he turned his head to the side enough for Dokyeom to see his hearing aids. Dokyeom sighed. “By the way, I am having a recital next week.” Jihoon handed him an invitation. “You can come if you want to.”

“Of course, I missed seeing ‘the music genius’ play.” Dokyem laughed. Then, another guy cam and tapped Dokyeom in the shoulders.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” said the guy. “Oh? Jihoon!”

“Hi, Jeonghan-hyung!” he also hands him an invitation. “Recital. Next week. Hope to see you.”

“Oh really? Don’t worry I’ll make sure to come.”

Dokyeom looked at his watch. “Jihoon, we have to go. We still have rehearsals for today. See you!”

“Okay. See you!” Jihoon waved his hand to them.

Soonyoung asked. “Who are they?”

“Schoolmates. Dokyeom, 3^rd year, he plays the violin and Jeonghan, 4^th year, he plays the flute.” Jihoon replied. Soonyoung just gave him a nod.

They continued giving out the invitations. They didn’t had a hard time since Jihoon is still popular in the school. Almost, well not almost, but all students and teachers know his name. They finish earlier than they expected, so they decided to sit at the school park for a moment.

A teacher suddenly walked towards them. “You are Kwon Soonyoung right?”

Soonyoung immediately stood up and greeted the teacher. “Yes. I’m Kwon Soonyoung.”

“Ah. Nice to see you here. Are you going to enroll, again?”

“No, sir.” Soonyoung kept his head down and shook his head.

“What a pity. But don’t worry, talented students like you are always welcome here in the university.” the teacher gave Soonyoung a smile. “I’ll get going.” the teacher left the two of them.

Jihoon looked at Soonyoung. “You know him?”

Soonyoung looked away. “I guess so.”

“That was the university director! Are you also a student here before?”

Soonyoung did not reply. He began walking but Jihoon followed him and grabbed his arm. “Soonyoung!”

“What?!” Soonyoung almost shouted at Jihoon. “Am I a student here before? YES! You happy now?” Jihoon loosened his grip from Soonyoung arm. It’s the first time he saw Soonyoung mad. He can feel tears forming from his eyes and tried holding them back.

Soonyoung pulled his arms away from Jihoon. “I’ll go home now.” He gave Jihoon a cold stare. “You should go back to your house as well.”

Chapter Text

Soonyoung is lying on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Empty.

He is not happy. He is not sad.

But empty. 

He haven’t talked to Jihoon ever since they had the argument at the school. Jihoon texted him everyday, saying sorry. Of course, he’s hurt. He doesn’t want to see Jihoon being sad because of him. But his life is too complicated for Jihoon to understand. For him the best thing to do now is to distance himself.

‘Jihoon trusted someone like me… a person with a lot of secrets.’ He let out an ironic laugh.

He saw his phone light up.

Another message. From him.

Jihoon.

He unlocked his phone to read Jihoon’s message.

From: Jihoonie

Soonyoung-ah, it’s my recital today. Please come.

It breaks his heart. It truly does. He missed Jihoon so much.

He received another message.

From: Jihoonie

Please. I miss you so much. 

I reserved you a front row seat.

He threw his phone beside him. Not giving Jihoon any reply. His chest started to feel heavy. He got up from his bed and started changing his clothes.

Maybe he has to see Jihoon.

One last time.

“Jihoon. Are you ready for your recital?” Jihoon’s mom walked towards him to fix his necktie. Jihoon gave him a fake smile and nodded.

“I know you’ll do good.” she patted his son’s shoulders. “By the way one of my friends will also come to watch your recital. I’m not sure if you cans till remember her since you met her when you were a kid.”

Jihoon become curious. “Who is it?”

“My colleague, Kwon Soohwa.” His mom gave him a smile. “We should go to the venue now so you can have your rehearsal.”

Jihoon immediately grabbed his bag and followed his mom to the car. The name of his mom colleague is still repeating inside his head, but he tried to shake off the thought.

Soonyoung.

He suddenly remembered Soonyoung. He messaged him a while ago. He constantly checks his phone to see if there is a reply from Soonyoung, but there’s none.

Jihoon rested his back on the car seat and closed his eyes. Trying to fight back his tears.

‘Is this really the end? Should I forget him already?’

A lot of people came to see Jihoon’s recital. His schoolmates and teachers are there, even his parents’ friends and colleagues are there. But Jihoon does not care. He just wants to see one person

Soonyoung.

He began walking towards the stage. Knees shaking and palms are sweaty from nervousness. He paused at the center of the stage to face the audience. The hall is filled with people. All seats are occupied.

Except for one.

He can feel his heart shatter in pieces as he stared blankly at the empty chair in front of him. He tried to fight the pain and sadness that he’s feeling, almost choking from holding back his tears. He closed his eyes, took a deep inhale and bowed to greet the audience. He slowly approached the piano, buying time with every step he makes. Expecting Soonyoung to be there before he starts to play. He took his seat and glanced at the audience.

Still empty.

Jihoon came into realization that it’s over. They are already over. Time to move on.

He took out his hearing aids and started playing his first piece.

*Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata*

A sad piece. A very sad piece indeed.That is the reason why Jihoon took out his hearing aids. He wanted to concentrate on playing. He reached peak of his vulnerability and if he hears the song that he’s playing, he just might broke down and cry.

But Soonyoung was there, by the entrance. Wearing a black hoodie and a mask to conceal his face. He just stood there, watching Jihoon. He felt like dying, with every key Jihoon hits, is like knife being struck in his chest. He leaned closer to the wall, closing his eyes, letting all the tears fall.

“Sorry Jihoon, I don’t deserve you.” he muttered under his breath. He stayed in his position and continued to watch Jihoon until he finished performing.

Jihoon played a couple of songs before ending his recital. The whole crowd gave him a warm round of applause. He put back his hearing aids and went down the stage to thank the the people who went to his recital.

He saw his mom and a lady approach him.

“Jihoon-ah, this is my colleague. Kwon Soohwa.” the lady offered her hand for a handshake. Jihoon reached for it and shook it twice.

“Is this Jihoon already? It’s been a long time.” she gave Jihoon a smile.

His mom reached for his shoulders. “I know. Oh? By the way, how’s your eldest son? He’s the same age as Jihoon right? Is he still going in the university?” Jihoon noticed that his mom’s friend suddenly became gloomy.

“Ah... S-Soon.. Soonyoungie?” her voice became uncomfortable. “He cut all of his connection from us already. I haven’t heard any news from him ever since we migrated to US.”

Soonyoungie?

Soonyoung? Kwon… Soonyoung?

Jihoon still can’t believe what he just heard. That is why the school’s director also knows Soonyoung. Soonyoung came from a well-off family as well. Jihoon studied the face of her mom’s colleague, and noticed that she was the one in the family picture that he saw at Soonyoung’s house.

“Oh.” Jihoon’s mom sensed the uncomfortable atmosphere. “Why don’t you come with us first so we can have a small talk. It’s been along time since we chatted.” her colleague nodded and they started walking.

“What about you Jihoon? Aren’t you gonna come with us?” his mom asked him.

Jihoon shook his head. “No mom, I going to stay here for a while. Don’t worry I won’t stay for too long.”

“Okay.” Jihoon watched the two of them leave the hall.

Jihoon dimmed the lights so that no one will notice that he’s still there. He sat on the floor of the stage facing the empty chair.

“I fuckin’ hate you Kwon Soonyoung!” this time he just let out his tears fall. He sobbed so hard until his eyes became swollen and puffy.

“I fuckin’ HATE you. KWON SOON YOUNG!” he heard his voice echoed inside the hall.

“Is that so?” he heard a familiar voice not so far from him.

He is there, Soonyoung, standing at the right side of the stage. Jihoon went down the stage and slowly walked towards him.

“Is that true Jihoon? You hate me?” Soonyoung removed the hood and mask covering him and gave Jihoon a gloomy smile. Jihoon broke down again and cried. He started pushing, hitting Soonyoung’s chest and arms with his fist.

“Yes. I hate you…” Soonyoung still stood there allowing Jihoon to hit him, because he knew he had been a dumb asshole.

“I hate you because you didn’t even answer my messages. I hate you because you did not come to my recital.” Jihoon felt his knees became weak. He let himself sit on the floor with tears still rushing down his eyes.

“I… hate you… because.. you made me go crazy for you. Even if it pains me. Even if it hurts so much. I hate you because I know that until the end, it will always be you, only you.” Jihoon already clenching his chest. He had cried too much that he’s already exhausted.

Soonyoung bit his lower lip. He bent his knees and reached for Jihoon’s face. He started wiping Jihoon’s tears with his fingers. “Jihoon-ah, I’m sorry.” he gripped Jihoon’s shoulders and helped him stand up. “I actually watched you a while ago. You did very well, my Jihoon-ie.”

Jihoon immediately wrapped his arms around Soonyoung’s waist. Soonyoung began brushing Jihoon’s hair with his fingers. They surely missed each other’s company and savored the long tight hug that they are doing.

Soonyoung broke the hug and cupped Jihoon’s face. “Go to my place. I’ll tell you everything.” He brushed Jihoon’s lips with his thumb and kissed him. “I’ll wait.”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry. I can’t go yesterday I--” Jihoon stood by the door of Soonyoung’s apartment. He didn’t even finish what he was about to say because Soonyoung already pulled him into a hug. Jihoon wrapped his arms around Soonyoung’s waist and burried his face on his chest. They surely missed this. Being wrapped around each other’s arms.

Soonyoung placed his lips on Jihoon’s forehead. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault, plus, I told you yesterday that I will wait, right?” He held Jihoon’s hand as they walk inside the room. Both of them took their seats with heir fingers still interlaced. Jihoon placed his head on Soonyoung’s chest and starts fiddling the other’s shirt. He missed Soonyoung so much. His eyes. His lip. His scent. His everything.

“Jihoon-ah, I’m sorry.” Soonyoung started talking.

Jihoon looked up to face him. “For what?”

“For hurting you.” Soonyoung continued. “You already cried too much because of me.”

Jihoon sat up and pinched Soonyoung’s cheeks. “I’m glad you know you did wrong.” He smiled at Soonyoung. “You’re gonna tell me something more, right?”

Soonyoung nodded. He grabbed Jihoon’s waist and made him sit on his lap. Jihoon locked his thighs around Soonyoung waist while Soonyoung held onto him.

“Well, what is it, Mr. Kwon?” Jihoon asked.

“I love you.”

“Psh. I already know that. What else?” Jihoon cupped Soonyoung’s face and leaned closer.

“I can’t live without you.”

“Eyy, why are you so cheesy?” Jihoon playfully slapped Soonyoung’s shoulders and buried his face onto it.

Soonyoung chuckled upong seeing Jihoon blush. “But seriously. I actually want to tell you why the school director knows me.” Jihoon quickly faced Soonyoung upon hearing what he said.

“Well, I guess, I know some of it already.” Jihoon said.

Soonyoung gave him a curious look. “What is it?”

Jihoon pointed at Soonyoung family picture on top of the drawer. “That is your mom right, Kwon Soohwa.” Soonyoung got a bit surprise upoon hearing Jihoon say his mom’s name.

“How did you know?” Soonyoung asked.

“Well, she went to my recital yesterday.”

“Ah.” Soonyoung took a deep breath before he continued talking. “There’s four of us… Mom, dad, me, and my younger sister. My dad had a small business back then and my mom is also a musician.” Soonyoung looked at Jihoon. “But dad died early because of an accident and after a few months, my mom married another man.”

His voice started to become shaky. “His new husband didn’t treat us well, me and my sister. I started working part-time back in highschool so that I can provide allowance for the both of us.” Jihoon noticed beads of tears are starting to form on Soonyoung’s eyes.

Soonyoung took a deep inhale again before he continued. “I got into the same university. But, during my first year, my mom decided to mirgrate to the US, together with her husband. Leaving me and my sister here in Korea.” he let out a bitter laugh. “Then, one day, my sister suddenly collapsed… So, I took her to the nearest hospital. Heart disease, they said. Severe. And surgery costs millions…”

Soonyoung can’t hold it anymore. He rested his head on Jihoon’s shoulders and started crying. “I--I can’t… just let my sister die.” Jihoon became teary as well. He hugged Soonyoung tightly, trying to give him some comfort.

Soonyoung’s still catching his breath but continued to talk. “I dropped all my subjects. I quit school. I took several jobs to save up for my sister’s surgery. Until one day I met some guys, saying that they can help me gather enough money.” he wiped off the tears on his face. “But what I didn’t know is that we’re going to do do bad things… Stealing… Yes, we stole a lot of money back then. We robbed houses, banks, and even scammed other people… Just for money.” Soonyoung looked at Jihoon who is just staring at him, listening. “Filthy right? I finally made up my mind and decided to quit the group after one more task.” Jihoon is still looking at him waiting for him to tell more.

“Jihoon… That task is you.” Soonyoung shoved Jihon onto the sofa and started walking towards the drawer. He took out a bracelet and a black mask. Jihoon sat there completely frozen after hearing what Soonyoung just said.

Soonyoung handed him the bracelet and the mask.

“Soonyoung, what is this?” Jihoon asked. He’s still confused. Soonyoung took the black mask from his hand and wore it.

“Jihoon-ah, you said we have the same eyes right?”

Jihoon started to become nervous. He looked at Soonyoung silently.

Their eyes.

Their voice.

It’s similar.

…

“Jihoon-ah.” Soonyoung took off the mask from his face “I am Hoshi.”

Jihoon was left in a state of shock. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to react. He stood up from his seat, staring blankly at Soonyoung.

Soonyoung tried to hold Jihoon’s arms, but the latter immediately pulled away.

“Do you understand what you did to me?” Jihoon suddenly felt bitter.

“Jihoon, I’m so--”

“Listen to me first! I am forced to live a different life because of what you guys did! Saying sorry will not change anything!” Jihoon brushed his face out of frustration. “But…” Jihoon stared at Soonyoung who is still standing in front of him with his head bowed down. Jihoon calmed himself down. He is mad, yes. But he just can’t let this man go. And he had been waiting for this time to come, for him to meet the guy who saved his life. “I owe you my life. Soonyoung.”

Jihoon walked towards Soonyoung and reached for Soonyoung’s face. “Thanks for saving me.” He smiled. “Twice.”

Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows. “Twice?”

“Yep… First, you saved me six months ago, from ‘that’ incident.”

“The second one?”

“Remember when you asked me to hang out with you? Well, you said you don’t want me to die from boredom, right?” Both of them laugh.

Soonyoung pulled Jihoon towards him. “Can I kiss you?”

“Just do it."

 Jihoon came home exact for dinner. He rushed to his room to shower and change clothes. He is certainly in a good mood because of what happened earlier.

“Jihoon-ah! Dinner’s ready!” His mom shouted from the dining area enough for him to hear.

“Okay!”

When he reached the dining area, he got surprised by what he saw.

“Dad?!”

“Oh, you’re here already? Come on let’s eat.” He saw his dad already sitting and taking a sip from his coffee. Jihoon took his seat and the three of them started to eat.

“Jihoon, I have news for you.” His dad said. Jihoon stopped eating and listened to what his father would say.

“We will bring you to America. I met a well known doctor there and he’s willing to help you with your ear surgery. You won’t need those hearing aids anymore. And I know someone who can manage your career as a musician”

“No dad, I don’t wan--”

“I’m not asking for your opinion on this matter. You’ll go whether you like it or not. This is for your own good.” If there is one person that Jihoon is afraid to. It’s his dad. He’s very strict. What he said should be followed.

“But dad I--”

“ENOUGH!” His dad slammed the table causing Jihoon to be startled. “You’ll do what I say.”

“No!” Jihoon stood up from his chair and threw the table napkin. “Stop meddling with my life! I’m not a kid anymore!” He walked to his room and locked the door. His mom tried to talk to him but he won’t listen. He reached for his phone and texted Soonyoung.

 To: Soonyoungie

I had a fight with my parents. I’ll sneak out of the house and go to your place. Wait for me.

He started packing his bags and waited until his parents are asleep so that he could leave their house. After a few minutes, he reached Soonyoung’s apartment. It took him a couple of knocks before Soonyoung finally opened the door. He immediately went inside.

“What happened?” Soonyoung asked worriedly.

“My parents wants to send me to America.” Jihoon replied.

“Why?” They went to the bedroom. Jihoon plopped his bag on the bed and sat.

“They want me to get surgery… for this.” He pointed his ears. “And also for my music career.”

Soonyoung looked at him with his arms crossed. “Sorry to tell you this, but I think your parents just want what’s best for you.”

Jihoon turned his head to him, annoyed. “What?! Then what about us? We’ll be miles away from each other!”

“I’ll just wait for you to come back.” Soonyoung looked away. He’s lying. He doesn’t want Jihoon to go but he wants Jihoon to live a normal life again.

“Are you fuckin’ serious, Soonyoung?” Soonyoung kept silent. Jihoon just shook his head with disbelief. “You throwing our relationship.”

“I’m not--”

“THEN WHAT SOONYOUNG? Make me fuckin’ understand!” Jihoon can’t believe it. He thought Soonyoung will be on his side with this but he’s wrong. He’s totally infuriated. “You know what? Let’s just end this.” Jihoon immediately grabbed his bag and went out of the room. Before he step out of the apartment, he turned his head to Soonyoung and stared at him with cold eyes.

“We’re over.”

Chapter Text

On the day of Jihoon’s flight Soonyoung decided to call him once more. Jihoon was hesitant at first. He was still upset at Soonyoung, but he eventually answered the call.

“What is it, Soonyoung? Make it fast. I’m busy.” Jihoon was getting ready to board the plane, pulling his luggage behind him.

“I’m sorry Jihoon. I just want to hear your voice, one last time.” Soonyoung said. Jihoon bit his lower lip and took a deep breath. Upset, yes, but does want to hear Soonyoung voice one last time.

“You know what? I’m tired. I’m already tired of hearing you say sorry everytime.” Jihoon is trying to hold his emotions.

“I know… I’ve been a jerk Jihoonie. I’m--”

“Yes! You are a big jerk Soonyoung! I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I am completely done. Done with all the pain. Done with everything… Done with you.” Lies… all lies…

“If you don’t have anything more to say, I’ll hang up now.” Jihoon can’t handle this anymore. His parents are already waiting for him. There’s no turning back.

“Wait…” Soonyoung said. “I just want to say that your voice is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. I love you. It will always be you, only you. Till the end….Bye.”

“Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to New York. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you.”

“Bye. Soonyoung.”

SOONYOUNG’S POV

'Pain demands to be felt.'

Yes, indeed.

It demands to be felt until you’re torn and shattered into pieces.

Until you’re completely lost.

Until you can’t fix yourself anymore.

And the only way to stop it is to be numb… or dead.

Eight months.

Eight months had already passed since Jihoon went to America. I still hold onto the red sharpie in my hands, while staring blankly at the calendar in front of me. A calendar full of ‘X’’s across each date.

This had been my life since then. Waking up in the morning, grabbing the red sharpie, then crossing out the days on my calendar.

Wait. 

That is all I can do… Wait.

I am still working at the cafe where we met the first time. And everyday, I am  expecting that a guy, named Lee Jihoon, will stand in front of me and order one medium-sized Iced Americano. I kept the reserved sign on his favorite spot, in case he returns.

Torture. Yes. I am torturing myself completely, right?

I regret everything I said to Jihoon that night. I do regret that I lied to him. I do regret that I didn’t hold onto him and just let him go.

Just like that.

Without even a proper goodbye.

‘We’re over’

It still echoes in my head, tearing and breaking me apart.

I tried contacting his several times but he’s not answering any of my phonecalls, any of my messages. Nothing… I guess this is my punishment.

But I am still very proud of him. I saw him once in the news. He’s already a recording artist. Living up to his dreams and becoming a very famous musician.

That’s my Jihoon-ie.

I want to talk to him one last time, so I took the videocam inside my cabinet and set it up. I pressed the record button and imagined Jihoon in front of me. My tears are already falling even before I started. I wiped them off and started talking as if he’s really there, saying how much I love him, saying sorry for being a dumb asshole, and saying a proper goodbye.

Well, I guess, this is already goodbye.

My heart started to feel pain. I can feel the tightening of my chest, giving me a hard time to breathe. I clenched my chest and gasped for air. I forced a smile in front of the camera before I hit the ‘stop’ button.

Yes, I’ve told Jihoon everything about me.

Except for this.  

Jihoon-ah, I’m sorry.

JIHOON’S POV

I am back in Korea after many months. The surgery went well and my music career is also good. Better, even.

But there’s something missing. Soonyoung. I miss him every single day, regretting the choices that I made.

During the first few months of my stay in America, I’ve been receiving phonecalls and messages from him. But I was still mad at him (and so stupid) that time that I didn’t answered any of those.

But my life isn’t the same as before. I am totally, completely, empty. I’ve been fooling myself everytime, saying I don’t miss him.

But my heart… it yearns for him.

His voice, his smile, his eyes, the kisses and hugs that I received… I fuckin’ miss all of those. EVERY SINGLE BIT OF HIM.

I wrote a song while thinking of him. Then, my manager accidentally discovered it and sent it to the head of the recording label. They liked it and said that we should officially release it. I don’t like the idea at first but they insisted and I am left with no choice but to do it. Luckily, it got famous and I was invited back to Korea for an event.

I immediately agreed and flew all the way back here, in Korea.

“PRESS CONFERENCE AND FANMEETING FOR MR. LEE JIHOON”

Here I am sitting in front of camera flashes and reporters, waiting for me to answer some of their questions.

“So Mr. Lee Jihoon. Tell us more about your new song, Run To You.” the interviewer said. They looked at me as I pick up my microphone, ready to listen with what I’m gonna say.

“Well…Uhmm…” I don’t know what to say. All I know is that I wrote this song for Soonyoung. “Uhm, this song is like talking to a loved one that you really missed. Doing everything you can just to see him…or her, again.” I nervously put the mic away from my lips and took a sip of water.

“Do you have someone whom you really missed? You surely need to have a good inspiration for you to write a good song like this right?” he adds.

It’s him, only him.

“Well… All of us have someone whom we really missed right?” I let out a nervous laugh, trying to smile in front of all these people.

Soonyoung.

I wonder what he’s doing right now. Is he already seeing another person? Did he really wait for me? Is he still waiting for me?

The presson lasted for a few more minutes. I want to go already. I want to see Soonyoung so much. I can’t wait to be held by him once again. I miss him. I just miss him so much.

“Mr. Lee Jihoon, any final words for your fans and the viewers?”

“Thank you for those who liked my song. I appreciate all the love and support that you guys are giving me…” I took a brief pause before saying the next words. “And if you truly love someone, don’t be afraid to show it. Tell that person how much you love him/her, because that’s what all that matters.”

Yes, and that is what I am going to do.

When the event ended, I rushed to my car with a hopeful heart. I need to tell Soonyoung that I still love him so much. That I do not want to lose him.

“Soonyoung-ah, I’m coming for you. Please wait for me.” I mumbled

I immediately held onto the stirring wheel and was about to start driving when I got a phone call.

‘Soonyoung-ie’

I excitedly pressed the answer button.

“Soonyoung-ie!”

“Hello, Jihoon. It’s me, Joshua.” Ohhh.

“Hey! How are you? Are you at the cafe? Is Soonyoung there? I’m gonna go there later.”

“I’m fine, but I am not at the cafe now.” his voice is somewhat different from what I know. He’s a cheerful person. He’s always greeting me happily whenever I go to the cafe back then.

“Is something wrong? You sound so different.”

“Jihoon…” I am starting to get nervous. My palms are starting to get sweaty and I can feel my heart thumping so hard.

“Jihoon, I am at the hospital right now… S-Soonyoung…”

Soonyoung? Did he say, Soonyoung?

I gulped and tried to control the shakiness of my voice. “W-what happened?”

“Soonyoung is in a critical condition right now… I don’t want to bother you, but I am hoping that you would visit him, today.” I can heard Joshua sigh.

I am already choking on my tears. This can’t happen. “Okay… I’ll go there. Text me the address of the hospital I’ll there right away.”

“Okay, bye.”

The call ended.

I quickly started the engine and drove to the address Joshua gave me.

There’s only him inside my head… Soonyoung.

“Soonyoung-ah, hold on. You have to hold on. I have so many things to say to you. Just please hold on.”

I look stupid, driving and crying at the same time. But I don’t really care. I just tried my best to keep my focus on the streets.

I blame myself for all this. I blame myself for being so stupid and letting him, the person I love the most, go.

Even if I run out of breath more, I’ll go quickly
So please wait there a little more

The day when your time and my time faces each other
I will hold you

Please be well until I get there
I really really
Miss you

I really, really miss you. Soonyoung.

I met Joshua at the entrance of the hospital. He looks exhausted and tired. His eyes were red from not getting enough sleep, but he still managed to give me a smile.

“What happened to him?” I asked as we enter the elevator. Seventh floor. Intensive Care Unit. I am trying my best not to break down in front of Joshua right now. I inhaled a few breaths and calmed myself down.

“I’ve always seen him take medicines everyday but I didn’t bother asking him. I thought they were just vitamins…” Medicines? but I haven’t seen him take medicines. “…until he collapsed. Just a few days ago, at the cafe.” Joshua’s voice is calm. I just listened to him while he talked. “The doctor just said it’s congestive heart failure. He also explained what it is, but I guess my brain didn’t absorb it well. I am so worried for Soonyoung.”

The elevator stopped at seventh floor.

We’re here already. I followed Joshua to where Soonyoung is.

Room 717

Patient name: Kwon Soon Young (21)

“We can’t just go inside his room right now, but I will ask the nurses so they can assist you later.” Joshua tapped my shoulders and went to the nurses’ station.

I remained in my position all frozen, my mind completely blank. I stood in front of the clear glass window barrier that separates us. Soonyoung is there, lying on the hospital bed, unconsious, with a tube inserted in his mouth to keep him breathing.

This is all my fault.

“You can go inside later at 5pm.” Joshua stood beside me. Both of us looking at Soonyoung.

“Jihoon… Soonyoung talks a lot about you. He always tells me that he misses you… that he adored you so much.” I bit my lower lip trying hard not to cry. “That silly boy kept the ‘Reserved’ sign on your favorite place at the cafe… saying you might comeback anytime, and that you might be upset if your favorite spot was taken from you.” Joshua let out a sad laugh. “By the way, do you happen to know his family? I think they need to know his conditon right now.”

I went inside his room, wearing a yellow disposable hospital gown, gloves, and a face mask. I called his mom to tell her what happened, and she said that she’ll book an immediate flight.

I sat beside his bed and held his hands tight.

“Soonyoung-ah, you can still hear me right?” I said. “I’m here already… I’m sorry if it took me a long time to come back. I just want you to know that everything I said, when you called me, are all lies…” I can feel my voice already cracking from holding my tears. “I thought I can move on… that I can be okay, without you… But I was wrong. You’re inside my head every single day… I still have a lot to say to you. So please, please wake up… I need you.”

I saw a tear fell from his eye. He does hear me.

I felt a small twitch from his fingers. I held onto his hand very tight.

Wake up, please wake up.

He began tracing letters in my palms. His eyes are still closed, but he can make just small movements using his fingers.

I paid attention carefully to each letter that he writes on my palm.

I.…

L.…O….

V…E…

Y.…O….

U...

I began sobbing hard. “Me too. I love you too, Soonyoung. I love you so much.”

His fingers stopped moving… followed by a rapid beeping sound from the heart monitor beside him. I immediately stood up and slightly stepped away from his bed, not knowing what’s happening.

Then I saw doctors and nurses running inside the room.

“Cardiac arrest! Perform CPR on the patient!”

I still have no idea of what’s happening, until Joshua pulled me feet away from Soonyoung’s bed. We stood by the door and watched them take turns in performing CPR on Soonyoung. Then a nurse pulled the defibrillator beside him.

“120 joules…. 120 joules ready…CLEAR!”

“Joshua! What’s happening to him?! Soonyoung!” he didn’t say anything and just held me tightly.

“160 joules….160 joules ready!…CLEAR!”

I close my eyes everytime the defibrillator touch Soonyoung’s chest. Sending electricity to his body.

“Still no response! Increase to 200!”

“200 joules…200 joules ready! …CLEAR!”

That is the last.

Heart monitor showed a flatline.

“NO! SOONYOUNG! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN!” I felt my knees go weak. I’m getting dizzy. Joshua is still holding onto my arms, both of us are already crying.

“Kwon… Soon…Young…. Age… Twenty-one…”

No I don’t want to hear the next words.

“Time of death…Five forty-seven… April four, two thousand eighteen.”

No. I’m not hearing it. This is not true.

This is just a dream. A bad dream.

I want to wake up.

His mom arrive at the hospital the next day and cried when she heard the news. My mom was also with her. She gave me a hug.

“Jihoon-ah, I didn’t know that he was a close friend of yours.” No, mom. He’s not just a close friend. He’s the person I love the most.

Now he’s totally gone. Never coming back.

Surprisingly, I am not crying today. I guess my tearducts already reached their limit. My eyes are already dry and exhausted.

Joshua sat beside me and handed me a key.

“Soonyoung wants you to have this. It’s the key to his apartment… Once you get there, you’ll see a black box on top of the piano seat.”

“Thanks, Joshua. Thank you for looking after Soonyoung.” he patted my shoulder.

“We lost an amazing friend. But Jihoon, you have to stay strong. Soonyoung doesn’t want to see you being so sad.”

I nodded. “I’ll get better. Through time. I guess.”

“I understand… By the way, I already need to go home. Take care Jihoon.”

“Oh. Okay.. Bye Joshua, take care.”

He just gave me a neutral smile. “If you need someone to talk to, you can visit the cafe anytime. Soonyoung reserved your seat already.” I smiled and waved at him.

My mom immediately sat beside me. “You know what, Soonyoung-ie is a good kid.” my mom said. “I saw him when he was still young. He’s also good in playing piano.” I smiled at my mom.

I rested my back towards the bench and closed my eyes.

Life is unfair sometimes, isn’t it?

This guy saved me, but I can’t do anything to save him.

It feels like the world conspired against the two of us.

It’s fate that brought the two of us together.

But in the end, I guess,

We are not really meant for each other.

Chapter Text

I went to Soonyoung’s place late in the afternoon, wearing a black suit.

I held the key on my right hand, while still holding onto my eulogy on the other.

I unlocked the door and took a step inside.

It’s still the same. Just like how I remembered it to be.

The furnitures are slowly accumulating particles of dusts on top of them. I think it’s been a while since the owner of the house was here.

‘You will see a black box on top of the piano table.’

There it is.

I slowly walked towards it and picked it up. I sat on the sofa and removed my coat, placing it beside me. I put the box on top of my lap. There is a small sticky note stuck on the lid of the box.

To: My Jihoon-ie

This is my gift for you… but don’t expect too much!

HAHAHA!

From: Your Soonyoung-ie <3

P.S. Stop crying already! It will make your face swollen and puffy…Do you want to look like an ugly puffer fish?

Be a happy marshmallow instead. OK?

The note actually made me smile. Happy marshmallow… Where did he even get that?

“Who’s an ugly pufferfish? You idiot, psh..” I shook my head and opened the box lid.

I checked the things inside the box. Each item has a sticky note attached to it.

First: A jacket.

Ahhhh, I remember this one. Our first face-to-face meeting. This is the jacket that he lent to me. He told me to wear it so that I won’t get soaked in the rain.

Soonyoung-ie’s Note:  I sprayed my perfume on it. I know you’re addicted to my scent. Kkkkk~~ I know you miss me that much but don’t use it everyday! The color might fade. :P

“What an arrogant brat. You think I miss you that bad? Well… you’re actually right.”

Second: The black mask and the bracelet

Right, this very memorable mask.

Soonyoung-ie’s Note: Our first ever meeting is really memorable right? Totally a mess. But I am happy. Why? Because you developed a huge crush one me back then. Haha! You fell in love with my eyes.*winks* They’re beautiful like stars right? Yeah, that’s why I picked Hoshi as my other name.

“Wow. I’m totally speechless Kwon Soonyoung. Look who’s talking? You’re the one who fell in love with me first. You even begged me to stay with you.” Yeah, I don’t care if I look stupid talking to myself.

Third: Videocam.

Soonyoung-ie’s Note: You can connect this to the TV. I know you want to see my handsome face in fullscreen and HD. :D

Okay you win, Kwon. I totally want to see your face in fullscreen and HD.

I connected it to the television and opened the only video file inside it.

Filename: Smile, flower.

*Play*

There he is in front of the camera. He looks like he’s still setting it up. This guy is really not into gadgets.

“Is it recording already? Wait…. Haaa, why am I so bad at this. Okay!

Hi Jihoonie!!!….”

Fullscreen and in HD.

“How are you? I’m sorry my condition is not good right now. *coughs* Do I still look pale? I already put a little tint on my lips… Look!

He pouted at the camera, pointing to his lips. “Silly guy.”

“Okay, I will start. There are actually many things I want to say to you… *sigh* First of all, I’m sorry. I know. I know you don’t wan to hear me say sorry, but this is the last time, I guess. I am a total jerk letting you go just like that. When we fought that night, I want to hug you, hold you in my arms, and take everything I said back…. But I was too late… Letting you go was the worst decision that I made. I am also sorry that I haven’t told you about my condition. Genes, weak genes.

Second, I want to thank you. Thank you for loving someone like me. A guy with many secrets, a guy who’s a living mess. Thank you for giving me your trust, back then. Thank you for the times we spent together. *sigh* I really miss kissing you though…”

His reaction made me laugh. 

“... But yeah, thanks for everything. And lastly, I want to say I love you. I love you so much, Jihoonie… Every hour, every minute, every sigle day. Ah! I actually practice palying piano… I will show you but don’t laugh at me. I’m not like you, ‘the music genius’…I’ll also sing! Listen very well.”

He took the videocam with his and set it up near the piano. 

“This is for you Jihoon-ie, this song is entitled, Smile, Flower…”

He started pressing the piano keys. 

I can smile because we’re together
I can cry because it’s you
So what can’t I do?
Don’t say it’s the end
Forever
Because I’ll stay by your side

Whatever happens
Just like always, we’ll be together

Don’t say it’s the end
Forever
Whatever happens, just like always
Our smile flowers will bloom

Whenever, wherever
Even if we’re not together, just like always
Our smile flowers bloom
I’ll be the spring to your smile

Yes, Soonyoung-ah, you’ll be the spring to my smile.

“Okay. That’s it. How was it? It’s not that perfect right? But I did my best, though…”

No, it’s more than perfect.

Soonyoung suddenly clenched to his chest. I gues he’s already tired. He focused the camera on him.

“Jihoon-ie, I’m getting a little tired now… I’m afraid I already have to stop this recording…”

He smiled at me. I can see the uneasiness in his face, but he tried to hide it.

“Remember that you are always here inside my heart. My heart is weak,  but since you are here, it keeps on beating…. If ever you feel sad, just look up to the sky at night, and you’ll see the brightest star…”

He flashed a very bright smile.

“I love you so much, my most beautiful song, Lee Ji Hoon….Till the end.”

He threw a kiss to the camera, and waved before ending it.

“I love you too so much, my brightest star, Kwon Soon Young….Till the end.”

END