Chapter Text
Autumn was on the brink in the night court. The leaves were painted vibrant colors and crisp breezes swept through the street. The street vendors stopped selling their usually ice creams and lemonade and opted for Carmel apples and warm ciders or chocolates.
It was wonderful.
It had started when she had told Feyre one day that she wanted to be more independent. She loved her sisters and their mates with all her heart years after the war, but she sometimes felt she was coddled by them too much. She was strong. And fierce. She had proved as much in the war. It was time for her to take charge.
She hated to admit though… she was a bit nervous. What if something happened and she was alone or she needed help. It’s silly though she thought, my family is mere streets away, and the people of velaris were rather kind. Someone might help her in a pinch. And if not she could- would handle it herself.
Easier said than done.
With feyres help, I had purchased a small townhome near the market by the beach. The closets member of the circle to me was Azriel, but with his random missions and secrecy, I wasn’t sure if he would be home much.
On the morning I moved in I was ecstatic! I had so many decorating ideas! Flowers and mirrors and marble counters! It’s wonderful.
I took Feyre by the arm and we swept through the apartment. Throwing open the windows and peering through ever door.
“ Feyre isn’t it wonderful. Can’t you see it!” I said tugging yellow curtains out of a chest I brought with me.
“ Of course! I’m so happy for you. ” she came over and clasped my hands. Down in the street, the bell rang 10 times. “ I have to go love, Rhys and I are having brunch. But I’ll be back around 7 for dinner. And then she was gone in a puff of smoke and shadows.
I could never grasp the winnowing ability myself.
For the rest of the day, I was stringing yellow curtains and laying out grey and green rugs. Placing mugs in the cupboards. New lamp shades and shelves and laying out my lavender and white bedspread.
I never knew I’d like decoration so much. By the end of the day, I was well on my way to being done.
When I looked out the window again the moon was rising over the ocean. The night was filled with stars of every color. You could see the whole universe from here.
My feet carried me out the door and on to my front porch. I could look at them forever. And never see the same picture twice.
I hadn’t noticed Azriel until I finally turned my eyes from the sky and met his piercing hazel ones.
I yelped and jumped back, knocking over a flower pot.
” Az what are you doing? Don’t sneak up on me like that!“ I hissed placing a hand over my rapidly beating heart.
” I was just - uh - I “ he looked flustered, which was an expression I very rarely saw on him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, it was then I noticed he carried a small wrapped box in his hands. I smiled up at him
” A gift?“ I was grinning now
” Yes, “ he awkwardly shoved the box at me and clasped his hands behind his back.
” Thank you, Azriel" I beamed up at him, heart studdering as the corner of his lip tugs upward. “ what’s the occasion?”
“ Housewarming, ” he said with a flourish to the door and a small smile.
“ Well thank you, would you like a tour?” I said as I lead the way through the front door and into the house. I heard his near silent footfalls trail in behind me and allowed myself another small smile.
Its been 2 years since the war and we are all still healing at different rates. Nesta still won’t get near a tub. I can’t eat red meat at all because of the blood. Cassian gets extremely agitated if there is ash in the fireplace or lots of dust anywhere. I’m not sure to what lengths Feyre and Rhysand are traumatized. I didn’t see everything they saw. Az is as calm and stoic as ever. Never showing emotion. Or feeling.
“ You are frowning.” Az voice floated up next to me pulling me out of my ravine. My arms were wrapped tightly around me in a hug. I get lost in thought a lot like that. Some people call me distracted and dazed.
“ Sorry, ” I murmur and try to turn away but his hand finds my elbow and stops me
“ It’s ok ” he whispered in his deep voice.
I lead him to the living room and point out the little trinkets I have. like the owl sculpture made of wood, I got from the old manor in the human world. My father had made it. Or the colorful throw pillows. As we walk I notice the blue pearls I have under a glass lid on the self in the living room. My face burns as Az studies the three gems. Oh, gods why did I put those out. I had brought them because they felt so familiar to me. And now I understand why. They match his siphons. He turns back to me with a neutral expression on his face, but his eyes are twinkling with mischief
“ These are quite lovely, ” he says
“ Thanks, I uh just got them. Ok moving on”
I grab his arm and pull him up the stairs.
“ This is the upstairs ” I mumbled lamely. Gods, why.
Ever since Az had given me truthteller and his kind quiet friendship something has changed for me.
It was stupid, I’m no better than a schoolgirl with a crush. But when he comes around I just get flustered and fidgety. But once that passes we slip into our current dynamic. Comfortable silence, quiet chatter, working side by side on a project, eating lunch. It’s just a nice friendship.
Friendship… or could it be more.
No, I think as I glance at him while he studies one of the paintings Feyre made I hung. It was of a cool calm lake in the forest she told me she visited. It couldn’t ever be anything more. He may not love Mor anymore but I highly doubt he could love me.
People call me crazy… delusional. Especially the people of the court if nightmares. I can’t help the visions. So I shouldn’t be judged by them.
Az had finished studying the painting and he turned back to me, studying me with a calculated gaze. I gave him a small smile, hoping that he would understand I don’t want to talk about it.
I wandered over to my bed and flicked the light on.
“ Should I open it now?” I asked him while pulling the gift into my lap and folding my legs under me
“ If you want to,” he said down a respectable distance from me.
The wrapping was crisp and precise and white with a blue bow
“ Aw, Az did you wrap this?” I grinned up at him. He’s so much taller than me even sitting down.
“ Yes...” he sighed with a small smile on his lips and a hand tuning through his fluffy hair.
“ It’s lovely ”
I pulled the bow loose and tire back the paper. Inside was a small brown crate with 6 small succulents in little black pots.
“ Oh, my gods Azriel. These are so cute! Thank you ” I jump up and start placing them immediately. One on my nightstand. One on the window sill. Another on my dresser. I’m dancing around the room in a flurry while Azriel watches from the bed with an amused small smile.
“ What are you laughing at? ” I quip at him.
“ Oh nothing, just you dancing over succulents ”
“ Oh haha, Mr. Shadow singer, you’re telling me you wouldn’t dance around a training mat over a new pair of knives?” I giggle as he rises and takes me by the elbow leading me to the stairs.
“ No. I would honor the knives by beating whoever is on the mat with me” he was grinning now too.
“ I’m calling your bluff,” I said turning back to him with a laugh. We were so close now out chest we’re almost pressed together.
“ Oh?” He let out a low chuckle
“ I bet you would do a dance for a new set of blades. ”
“ Not likely sunshine ”
Sunshine… he’s never called me that before. The air between us grew tight and electrical. His eyes bore into mine. Deep and endless and swirling between green and brown with a hint of blue. It was like looking at the earth in his eyes.
Was he leaning closer to me? Was I to him. Like two magnets wanting to cling together. He places his hand gingerly on my waist at a respectful place. Always respectful. Always kind and gentle. Always himself
And there in the quiet, candlelit hallway, with Azriels hand on my waist pulling me ever so impossibly closer
Close enough for a kiss.
A banging on the door tore the moment apart. I sprung away from him as if caught in the act of stealing. He looked away, cheeks tinged pink and bashful. Gods he is adorable.
“ I should uh ”
“ Yea ”
I scurried down the stairs quickly and threw open the door
“ Feyre!” I spoke too loudly “ What are you doing here?”
“ You promised me dinner remember,” she said with a wink. I was still blocking the doorway which made her eye me suspiciously.
“ What were you doing?..” she narrowed her eyes at me slightly and cocked her head taking a sniff of me.
Oh no. I pushed her out of the doorway and slammed it shut just as her eyes widened.
“ Is az here?” She was grinning wickedly now, “All alone with you in your new house? How scandalous my dear sister” she quipped in a sultry voice.
“ No no no it’s not like that. We were just talking. And plus it’s none of your business’s what we do behind closed doors”
“ I’d assume each other but that’s none of my business” she winked and stuck her tongue out at me. Gods my face is no fire now. As she sauntered off she called over her shoulder. “ don’t stay up too late you crazy kids!”
I growled at that under my breath and slipped back inside. Az was now lounging on the white sofa with his hands tucked behind his head.
“ Please tell me you didn’t hear any of that ”
“ I didn’t hear anything Elain ”
He was lying. I doubt anyone in the world could ever tell if the Spymaster of the night court was lying. He told me that he has only lied to Rhys and Cassian when absolutely necessary. Which hasn’t been often? But somehow I always knew when he lied. I think this may be the second time he’s lied to me. And both times have been to save me from mortification.
It didn’t help though. I was still mortified. I placed my hand on my burning face.
“ Gods. I’m so embar-"
” Would you like to have dinner with me?“
” What..“
He was sitting up straight now staring at me.
” I … yes, that would be great, yes"
“ Great, ” we sat there grinning at each other for a moment before I fumbled to reach for my cloak and pulled it on. He opened the door for me and we were off into the night of Velaris.