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He doesn't really remembers when it all began, he can't pin point a moment he realized but as far as his romantic mind can think, he had always been in love with Gertrude Yorkes. And it's not because he can't say the exact moment it happened that it's not romantic - in fact if there's one thing Chase Stein for sure is, is romantic - what really happens is that he has this whole lot of memories of her and doesn't know how to make his mind choose just one.
There are his favorites, of course and on the cold days in the hostel - cold both because of the wether and because she keeps avoiding his eyes - he likes to remember them so the air can warm up a little bit, even if just on his mind...
The age was eight when they had their first sleepover, just the two of them. His father didn't liked the idea very much since Gert had always been his least favorite among the pride kids. And back on that time Chase didn't understood why and couldn't care less because for him, she was the best. He was nervous for the day, scared for his father's behavior and also because he wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted her to like being with him and only him. He wanted her to think he was as smart as she, even thought he didn't believed that himself.
After a long day of playing in the backyard and eating all of Gert's favorites foods that his mother so kindly made for them - after he bugged her for weeks - Chase had the felling that they had had the best day ever and that she was as happy as he was, but while laying under the fake stars in the celling of his room he heard a sniff of cry. And there she was, trying to hold back the tears that were falling from her eyes and traveling to wet her long brown hair.
"Gert, is something wrong?" He asks with innocent voice and wide eyes as he looks at her and she tries her best to clean the tears away from her face.
"Yeah it's just..." She breaths deeply so she could bring herself to talk without cracking her voice and for the stars in the sky, he really hated to see her like that. "It's silly... I'm just scared because i didn't brought dino and yes, I still sleep with my stuffed animal, don't judge me, you have shining stars in the celling because you're afraid of the dark.” She explain the fasted she could, a little ashamed of herself.
"I'm not." He says just as fast. "I'm not judging you, I have stuffed animals if you want one or..." Without even thinking and in a very innocent and childish action, he lays on his side and trails his hand against the covers until they reach hers. At first she flinches at the touch, but then relaxes. "Or you could hold my hand so it gets less scary, I mean if you want too."
She shakes her had up and down a little while also turns on her side, facing him. “I guess that could work too.”
Chase shifts himself in bed trying to quick from this game of sabotaging his mind plays on him every night: he closes his eyes and all the memories that it have been so well barried inside of him starts to pop up just as vividely as if it happened yesterday, it's like he can almost feel the way their hands used to always be interwinded when no one was looking, after that night in his room. And the thought of how he was never ashamed or scared that Gert would see his weeknesses - like being afraid of the dark - ...and God, things were so much easier when they were kids.
He lays in his back and closes his eyes for another round of trying to sleep but another memory takes place in his mind.
Not simple memory, one that always make his mind and heart race with each other to see which will go crazy first: one of the pride's dances for charity. The age was thirteen and he was so tired of posing for pictures and dancing with Karolina for the cameras while the others were having fun on the dance floor, like kids should be doing. He wanted to go have fun too, but his father had warned him before they left the house "don't do anything that could embarrassed me kid or there will be consequences" and he knew he wouldn't like those, so he kept himself doing as he was told while hoping that everything would be fine.
Well at least that was the plan, but when he ended another dance with Karolina his eyes wandered around the dance floor only to find Gert sitting at one of the tables, looking just as miserable as he was behind all of the fake smiles. And if there's one thing that will always take Chase out of his path is seeing her sad. So he walked in her direction, stood right in front of her and extended his hand.
"What are you doing?" She asked with her voice on the defensive, like she was mad at him. "Would you dance with me?" He asks, voice a little shaky from nervousness and puberty and her eyes go wide for a second while she looks at him but then they flinch to look just past him. He turns around to do the same only to find his father watching the scene from a far.
While younger he didn't understood why his father never liked Gert, but as the years passed he started saying it out loud "she is so reckless, unpredictable, tameless, so sure of herself..." and it made sense since Victor Stein has never been someone to like what he can't control and it has never been a surprise for anyone the fact that he didn't liked the girl. Not even for her.
But in between so many other's, for Chase, those things his father hated were his favorites things about Gertrude Yorkes.
"It's okay." He says trying to make her believe that they could dance together, but it's Gert and she could always read him "No it's not... just go dance with Karolina okay? I'm fine." She says after a long sigh, trying not too look in his eyes.
"But I'm not! 'cause I wanna dance with you." She looked at him with eyes that begged him to forget, because she knew what would happen if they danced together. She was the only one that knew.
"But your father, he will..." She can manage to finish the sentence because it's too hard, too sad and too cruel. "If he does, at least it will have been for a good reason." He says with a warm smile that wins her. Gert shakes her head in denial with a smile and blushing cheeks, while her hand finally reaches his.
So they danced while the stars and the moon from the decoration swirled under their heads and even though his father did beat him that night, no pain was felt when he lay in his bed and thought of how right if felt to have Gert in his arms while they danced that one song together.
Back in the hostel, Chase wandered around his bed while he was taken by memories and the silence since everyone was already asleep. He looked at the clock in one of the old walls of the space he now calls 'his room' and it marked 4:23. He decided to get some water and the perfect timing just putted him out of the door and into the hallway at the same moment Gert was leaving her own room. She was right in front of him so she couldn't pretend he was no there and he couldn't pretend he didn't wanted her to see him.
After what happened in the dance and all that it went down after they didn't talked much, they barely even looked at each other. Better saying, she barely even looked at him and Chase knew because his eyes were always on her, always eagering to find hers. He wanted to talk but he wouldn't push and also she let it clear: it was just a one-time thing. And he was fine with that if it was to make her happy, he would shut his feelings for her down like he once did years ago and keep himself distant until she could feel comfortable around him again.
"Can't sleep?" He asks trying to start a conversation since they are the only ones there and she would have to answer him, while they kept themselves as close as possible from the doors of they respective rooms. She only nods in response, so he speaks again "Same." Gert sighs as she slides down, sitting on the floor with her back on her bedroom door which makes him smile because some might no see it, but the fact that she's staying it's already a big steep into the comfortable zone. So he does the same against his own, staying right in front of her and since she doesn't say anything he starts "You know what I used to do when I couldn't sleep back home?"
"Jerk off?" She asks in the mocking voice she only uses for him and it was like music to his ears, both laugh lightly.
"Sometimes" He jokes too before going back to a more serious tone "But normally I would go on the roof where we used to stargaze, remember?" Chase notice how she shifts in her place, clearly uncomfortable and he can't stop himself to think that she remembers too. He was not trying to take her back to when they were astronomy partners and everything was already kind of mess up between them, but to that one time he kissed her in between a sentence about some constellation when they were only fifteen. Another memory that makes him feel like an idiot for wasting all this time trying to hide his feelings for her, feelings he was once so proud about "...and I would just stay there until my eyes couldn't handle all that brightness anymore."
"I miss being able to just go outside, watch the sky at night always calms me down" She confess like if he doesn't know. Only he does because it's about her and even though she seems not to believe on him, he does pay attention to her.
Chase stands up and extend his hand for her "Come with me." He doesn't ask or wait for her to make some sarcastic comment before he's dragging her into his own room, closing the door behind them.
"What you are doing?" She asks standing in the middle of the room while he lays in his bed "Just lay with me." Chase closes his eyes right away after the words are out of his mouth, he could try to sound more cool but it's like his brain of 173 IQ turns into jelly when he talks to her.
She opens and closes her mouth a few times, like she's trying to figure it out what to say or do. Gert than lets out a sigh and takes her flip-flops off before laying by his side. Distant, but still by his side which was a total win for Chase's heart that was doing flips inside his chest in that exact moment "So..." She starts to asks but he shushes her while reached his hand to turn off the only light in the room, coming from his nightstand.
It took a while for her eyes to get used to the darkness, but when they did the first thing she saw was some very poorly drawn stars in a green faded marker on the celling of the bedroom. And she smiled like she hasn't for a long time.
"It's not as well made as the ones in my room when we were kids or as shinier as the ones in the real sky, but if you ever need stars to calm down.... now you know you can always found it here." He says staring a the celling because he couldn't bare to look at her right now, he was afraid to find her looking at him like his a fool.
He felt a shifting in the mattress and in the next second her hand was holding his and for the stars in the sky, he really did missed the coldness of the tip of her fingers against the warmness of his own hand. He turned to look at her and she was on her side, staring at him just like he did with her years ago. Than slowly she got closer, her head rested in between the crack of his neck and his chest, and before he could even process what was happening she whispered wearing a smile in her voice.
“I guess that could work too.”