Work Text:
“Good day, geniuses!” Exclaimed Toby as he entered the garage with his usual mood.
“Hey Toby,” Sylvester called him. “You got a letter. It’s on your desk.”
“Thanks, pal.” He replied as he toddled to his spot.
He grabbed the envelope, there was no sender.
It read “Tobias M. Curtis”, but no “Doctor” was written on it so it couldn’t be work related.
Toby unwrapped it and he sat while pulling out the folded paper.
Happy fixed her gaze on him as he read.
After a minute, Toby opened his eyes widely, then he passed a hand on his forehead.
Happy noticed how he lowered his head, therefore his hat could cover his face.
He stood up but rest both his hands on the edge of the desk.
His sigh was noticeable and when he looked up, his jaw was clenched and his gaze so sad.
Happy wanted to ask if he was okay, but she changed direction because he clearly wasn't.
“What’s that?” She demanded.
“Nah, nothing.”
He approached the shredder and pushed the paper into it.
“Just some bank notification about my old account. Always better to delete info.”
She wasn't sure but she had to let it go since Cabe came in with a case.
“Toby?”
“Dilated pupils, he’s lying.”
“Are you sure?” Walter asked. “His voice was stable and his expression didn't flinch for a second.”
“Yeah. No. I mean. I haven't noticed...”
“Toby, you need to be sure.” Walter rebuked him, that case was bringing him down in a hole of frustration.
“Sorry Walter, it’s not a good day.”
“We can't have bad days Toby. I need to know if he was lying.”
“Well, sorry if my EQ level sometimes is higher than my IQ.” Toby answered piqued.
“That's why you need to focus on that guy, remember every detail and just tell me if he was lying or not.” Walt stated as order.
Toby opened his mouth but he couldn't speak. His mind was blank. He couldn't even remember that guy’s eyes.
“Toby!” Walter scolded him. “We don't have time.”
“I-I think.”
“Toby what's wrong with you today?” Walter was almost screaming.
“My mom died, Walter.” Toby snapped. “That's what's wrong with me today!” He slammed his hand on the table, making jump the rest of the team. “My mom died and they told me with a fucking letter. My mom died and I haven’t had the chance to say goodbye. So, sorry if I can’t lower my EQ today. But since, apparently, you are good at reading people too, you can do the job yourself.”
He grabbed his jacket and removed his comm. “I’m leaving.”
“You can't leave! We need you on this.”
But Toby couldn’t hear him because he was already out.
Silence fell in the room.
Happy realized what was the letter he destroyed that morning.
She stood up and rushed toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Walter asked.
“You're a dickhead, O’Brien.”
She left.
Happy found him on the steps outside the building, she sat near him and she took one of his hand in hers.
“So, that what the paper really was.” She said.
He nodded.
“They sent it at work because I’m pretty sure they don’t have our address. I don't even know where they found the garage’s one.”
“Our work is not so secret, and so our contacts.”
He nodded again.
“A letter.” He said still in disbelief. “Nor a message or a call. A bloody letter. The coldest way to give a news. I’m her son.”
He declared.
“They could at least tell me she was so sick.”
He left his head on his knees.
“I couldn't do anything anyway.” He admitted. “She kinda hates me...”
“Hated me.” He corrected himself. “I think she never forgave me for leaving.”
“How are you feeling?” Happy demanded.
Toby shrugged. “Lost?”.
“We have never been... She was... Oh God.” He exclaimed as he covered his eyes with his hands.
Happy encircled his shoulder with her arms and pulled him to her. He hid his face on her neck and she abandoned her head on his. He needed that.
“You should have told me right away, tho.”
“I know. I wanted to, but I needed to process the event and Cabe’s timing with the case... I freaked out.”
“Do you mind if I take your expertise and I shrink you?”
He smiled.
“Be my guest.”
“Let it go, Doc.” She said. “You are keeping it. Everybody knows that you need to vent. And as much as it may be, screaming at Walter is not a proper way.”
She tried to look down at him but he was motionless.
“You can scream.” She told him. “You can cry or if you want, just for this time tho, you can throw my wrenches to the door.”
He rounded her waist with both arms.
“And I think you need to call your dad too.”
He moved and he looked at her with a concerned expression.
“No.” He whispered.
“Toby, I don't want to quote myself but I will. What would you say if it were me?”
He snorted and Happy encouraged him.
“That it can be the way to get back in touch. That at the end of the day, she was still your mother, and your family. And you feel guilty for leaving her, because, in spite of your psychological studies, you haven't been able to do that much. But you have no guilt at all.” He said in one breath.
“There! Why should I do such a thing and should you be exonerated?”
“I hate when you use my words against me.”
“I’m not using your words against you. I just want you to see that you can't be mad or blame yourself if your first advice to other people would be to not do that.”
She was right and he knew that, but putting words in action wasn't always so easy.
“You're spending too much time with me.”
“Last time I checked, we worked and lived together.” She joked.
He laughed but he came back to be serious.
“I’m still not sure about what I want to do.”
“You know my mindset, but you can do what you feel.”
He nodded.
“So far,” he came back to his previous position with his face hidden in the crock of her neck and his arms around her torso. “I just want to stay here.”
She put her hand on his knee and caressed it with her thumb.
“I think Walt can manage that guy without me.” He said.
“No, I don’t.” Walter voice came from behind them.
Happy turned her head and Toby looked up. She patted his knee and stood up to come back inside.
Walter approached Toby and sat down.
“I should understand what are you feeling now.” He said. “I do, actually.”
Toby shifted to be shoulder to shoulder with his friend.
“I’m sorry if I lost it before, this case is exhausting.” Apologized Walter.
Toby knew he was sincere. “We process things in a different way.” He simply stated.
“You know how mind works, I know how to work with my mind.” Walter replied.
Toby nodded with a shy smile on his lips.
“Just like Happy.” Walter added then. “She seems the same old Happy, but she changed a lot.”
“So did you, Walter. It's just that sometimes you act like you really want someone to punch you in the face.”
Walter didn't reply.
He wasn't there for chatting, he was still Walter after all and Toby was sure he was pushed by Paige to go out to him.
“Ehm, uhm.” Walter mumbled. “I think you can take your time.” He stood up. “Our guy left the location anyway.”
This time was Toby who didn't reply. His gaze still locked on the ground.
“Do you need me to give a call to Happy?”
Toby shook his head.
“No, thanks. I just need time on my own.”
“Oh, okay then. I’ll go.” He pointed to the door behind them. “I’ll let you know if something urgent came up.”
Toby nodded.
As soon as he heard the door closing behind Walter, he crossed his arm on his legs and rested there his forehead.
Happy was right, he was keeping it.
He sighed heavily and he started to cry.
He needed to let it go.