Chapter Text
Present
“Not to be dramatic,” Jisoo says, slumping against the nearest brick wall. “But please kill me.”
“Sure, how do you wanna go?” Lisa asks, cracking her knuckles.
Chaeyoung elbows her in the ribs, then frowns at Jisoo. “What’s wrong?”
“The results of the org chem midterms are out.” Jisoo says, holding up her phone.
“Oh hahaha fuck.” Lisa slumps against the wall next to Jisoo. “I bombed that one so hard.”
“Really? Where?” Chaeyoung takes the phone from Jisoo, scrolling up and down their teacher’s email in a panic. “She posted the scores? On the bulletin board? Where everyone can see them?”
Lisa wipes one tear from her eye. “Hahahaha what a bitch.”
ˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣ
“You’d have thought someone was handing out free food or something,” Jisoo mutters, elbowing her way through the crowd collected ouside their professor’s office.
“Or free coffee.” Chaeyoung whimpers as she turns sideways to avoid someone’s elbow.
“Or free sleep.” Lisa squeezes between two hefty guys.
Jisoo whirls around to give Lisa a dry look. “What the hell.”
“What?” Lisa shrugs back at her.
Chaeyoung shrugs too. “I’d totally get free sleep if I could.”
“Excuse me, excuse me, sorry, excuse me,” A tired voice cuts through the crowd. Jisoo’s back straightens out involuntarily. She’d recognize that voice if she were deaf.
Jisoo rolls her eyes as the crowd parts like the Red Sea for a bored-looking girl scrunching up her shoulders in mild disgust, like she doesn’t want to touch anyone.
Jisoo holds up an arm to stop her. “There’s a line, Jennie.”
Jennie frowns and looks around. “Uh, where?”
“Anyway, we got here first.” Jisoo huffs.
“We cut in, too, Jisoo.” Chaeyoung hums from behind Jisoo.
Jisoo whirls around, elbowing an unsuspecting male classmate in the ribs as she does. “Whose side are you even on?”
“Mine.”
Jennie laughs into the back of her hand, disguising it as a cough. “You guys go ahead, then.”
“It’s not like you need to know if you passed or not,” Jisoo rolls her eyes. “You’re just making the rest of us feel bad.”
Jennie rolls her eyes back at Jisoo. “I’m not-”
“Sure you aren’t.” Jisoo folds her arms. She doesn’t know why she’s acting like this, it’s not like Jennie’s really trying to start anything – Oh wait, she knows why. She doesn’t want to see her grade. Of course.
“Jisoo, can you not?” Jennie groans.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
Jisoo clenches her jaw. “You’re pissing me off.”
“I don’t have time for this. Excuse me.” Jennie nudges Jisoo lightly with one hand.
Jisoo rolls her hands into fists. “Did you just push me?”
“What are you, eight years old? I said ‘Excuse me,”
“Bitch.”
“You started– You know what, I really don’t have time for this.” Jennie sighs. “Get out of the way. Please.”
“Wow, so polite.” Jisoo steps aside anyway, making a face at Jennie as she passes.
Jennie makes her way to the bulletin board, the entire crowd clearing for her as she comes near. She takes one look at the board, then says, “What the fuck?”
The crowd in the hallway starts dispersing, casting quick glances in Jennie’s direction as they whisper to each other in hushed voices.
Jennie peers closer at the bulletin board, frowning. “Is Prof. Lee in?”
“I think she’s in the office.” One of their other classmates says, looking at his 16/130 score with a resigned look on his face.
Jennie shuffles past the quickly dispersing crowd to knock on the professor’s door. “Prof. Lee? It’s me, Jennie.”
Jisoo watches Jennie slip into the professor’s office before turning to Chaeyoung and Lisa. “Ugh, look at her. She’s probably upset she didn’t get perfect.”
“She should be happy with what she’s got.” Chaeyoung pouts. “Or donate some of her points to the needy.”
“Uh, yeah, maybe not.” Lisa says, staring at the bulletin board. “She didn’t pass.”
“What?” Jisoo doesn’t know what she’s feeling. Happiness? Pure joy? “Jennie Kim didn’t pass?”
“Not by a longshot.” Lisa steps aside to let them see the bulletin board.
“If Jennie didn’t pass, then nobody did,” Chaeyoung groans.
Jisoo squints at the bulletin board. The professor had squeezed the entire class’s names on a single sheet of paper, and Jisoo’s beginning to regret leaving her glasses at home. However happy she feels about Jennie Kim flopping for the first time in human history, Chaeyoung’s right – if Jennie failed this exam, then Jisoo’s score is probably negative.
Jisoo’s vision, as if controlled by some bitchy movie director, decides to focus just then.
Kim Jendeuk, ID No. XXXXXXXX…………………………………………………52/130
Kim Jisoo, ID No. XXXXXXXX……………………………………………..………128/130
Jisoo squeals, jumping two feet off the ground. She’s beyond happy now. “Oh my god I could die right now.”
Lisa and Chaeyoung rest their chins on her shoulders. “What happened? What did you get?”
“Ha ha bitches!” Jisoo says, wiggling her shoulders in a victory dance. “Your girl pulled through!”
“Oh!” Chaeyoung pulls Jisoo into a bear hug. “Congrats!”
“Did you guys pass?” Jisoo asks her, trying to squint at the board again, but her eyes have given up.
“No, but like, I’m the fifth highest so…” Lisa shrugs. “It’s good? I guess?”
“I’ll do better next time.” Chaeyoung says, her smile never cracking. She goes back to squeezing Jisoo like a half-empty toothpaste tube. “I’m so proud of you!”
“Thanks, Chaeng,” Jisoo wants to cry. This is the best day of her entire life, hands down. When she gets home, she’s going to toss out all her medals and trophies and just pin this damn sheet of paper on the wall.
The door to the professor’s office opens. “I’m so sorry, Jennie.”
“It’s all right, Prof. Lee. It was just an honest mistake,” Jennie says, holding the door open for their professor.
“Excuse me, girls,” Prof. Lee says, reaching out to pull the sheet of paper off the bulletin board. “There was a misprint.”
“What?” Chaeyoung asks, her voice cracking with hope.
Prof. Lee pins up a new sheet of paper, then apologizes softly before going back into her office.
Jisoo doesn’t care what Jennie’s brown-nosing got her. Jisoo beams at her friends. “Ramen? Yes? Yes? Second serving of noodles are on me!”
Chaeyoung and Lisa turn from the bulletin board to Jisoo very slowly, their mouths drawn in a line. “Jisoo?”
“What?”
Lisa points one finger onto the new sheet of paper.
Kim Jendeuk, ID No. XXXXXXXX…………………………………………………128/130
Kim Jisoo, ID No. XXXXXXXX……………………………………………..………52/130
“What?”
“Sorry, Jisoo.” Jennie says quietly from behind them.
Jisoo ignores her, then tries to ignore the sound of Jennie’s sneakers padding away down the hall.
Chaeyoung hooks her arms around one of Jisoo’s. “…Ramen?”
Jisoo only sighs in reply, blinking hard.
“Second serving of noodles are on me?” Lisa offers.
Jisoo brings up the sleeve of her sweater to try and dry her eyes discreetly, but she’s sniffling so loud that it’s echoing down the hallway.
“I’ll pay for your whole bowl,” Chaeyoung offers, squeezing Jisoo’s arm tighter.
“No thanks.” Jisoo says. “I think I’ll just go home.”
ˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣ
Jisoo shuts her bedroom door behind her, leaning against it. Her phone’s been buzzing with messages in the pocket of her bomber for the past half hour, but she hasn’t felt like picking up in the past half hour.
She squirms out of her bra and tosses it onto her desk before flopping face-first onto her bedcovers.
She puts her phone up to her face.
143 new messages in group: I don’t care guys just give this group a name so I don’t send the whole class ugly my selfies
Lisa: u wanna drink? lets drink
Chaeng: we have class tomo >:(
Lisa: k
Chaeng: jichu bb text us when u get home
Jisoo locks her phone and tosses it somewhere else on the bed. She’s got no right to feel bad, really – Chaeyoung’s score was worse than hers, and she’s the one comforting Jisoo. Chaeyoung’s always failing, but she manages to pull through. Failing one exam doesn’t mean you fail the whole class, right? Even if it’s the midterms?
You failed once and you wanna quit already, Jisoo rolls her eyes at herself. You weak bitch.
But that’s just the thing. Jisoo’s never failed an exam in her entire life. She doesn’t know what she’s gonna say to her parents, knowing full well that she doesn’t have to say anything to them at all, but she knows they’re going to ask, because they’re her parents.
Jisoo rolls over to stare at the ceiling. It’s not that dark out yet, but the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling are shining at her, reminding her of the time when she was a child prodigy who recreated the constellations visible in the sky during her birthday using glow-in-the-dark stars.
Jisoo rips one sock off her foot and throws it right at Taurus. “Bullshit.”
She rolls over onto her side, mutes her phone, then shuts her eyes, groaning.
ˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣ
3 Years Ago
“This is unacceptable.”
Jisoo watches the beads of sweat collecting on the principal’s forehead.
“Mrs. K- Kim, your daughter’s d- done really well,” The principal stutters out. “She’s consistently been second highest in the entire-”
“Second?” Jisoo’s mother leans back in her seat. “I didn’t raise my daughter to be second best.”
“Ah- Uh- O- Out of 300 students, number 2 is virtually the same as first-”
“She’s going to be applying to university next year. Do you know how tough the competition is these days?” Jisoo’s mother says, never once glancing in Jisoo’s direction. Which is all for the best, because Jisoo’s chewing her lips raw with anxiety. “When the admissions offices see her application, they’re not going to think, Oh, second out of 300 is virtually first. They’re going to think, This girl isn’t the best. We don’t want her.”
Jisoo fiddles with a hangnail.
“Mrs. Kim,” The principal says, taking deep breaths. She looks almost as nervous as Jisoo feels. “I understand what you’re saying, I completely understand. But I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do-”
“Hm?” Jisoo’s mother lifts her eyebrows.
Jisoo tugs at her hangnail.
“How long have my children gone to this school?” Jisoo’s mother asks.
“I, ah…” The principal furrows her sweaty brow. “I’m not entirely-”
“Nearly 15 years.” Jisoo’s mother says. “I’ve been sending my children to this school for nearly 15 years now. And every year I’ve given this school a generous donation- I would say that we have a pretty good relationship at this point, don’t you think, Principal Ko?”
The principal grimaces. “Of course, Mrs. Kim, we truly appreciate your-”
“I’ve always believed that relationships should be give and take, Principal Ko.” Jisoo’s mother folds her hands in her lap.
“Of course.”
There’s this long silence, where Jisoo tugs the entire hangnail off and instantly regrets it.
“Who’s first in the batch?” Jisoo’s mother asks.
“Jennie Kim.” Jisoo answers quietly, earning a soft, sympathetic look from the principal. Her mother doesn’t even look at her.
“How much has Jennie Kim’s mother donated to this school?” Jisoo’s mother asks.
“Nothing, Mrs. Kim.”
“I’ll donate double- What? Nothing?” Jisoo’s mother frowns. “That’s not possible.”
Jisoo’s pulling on a loose thread on the edge of her school skirt, waiting for her mother to finish trying to negotiate with the principal. She’d excused herself to “go to the bathroom” and not returned in a half hour.
The door to the principal’s office opens and slams.
“I can’t believe that woman. After all I’ve done for this school! Come along, Jisoo.” Jisoo’s mother takes Jisoo by the elbow and starts dragging her towards the school’s parking lot. She stops to glower at a brass plaque by the new auditorium, where her name is chiseled among the top donors. “Unbelievable!”
Jisoo clips her seatbelt on in silence as her mother starts her car.
“You need to work harder, Jisoo,” her mother mutters, punching on the gas without looking. Luckily, no one was in the way. “You need to beat Jennie Kim, or you won’t get into a good university.”
Jisoo thumbs over the raw skin left behind by her hangnail. “I will.”
“If you don’t get into a good university, you won’t get a good job, then you’ll end up like your brother.”
Jisoo turns to stare at her reflection in the sideview mirror. “I know.”
ˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣˣ
Present
Jisoo wakes up to find something vibrating under her elbow. She’s not entirely sure what’s going on or where she is, until she sees the vague outline of stars in the ceiling.
She rubs her eyes, frowning at the light streaming in through the window.
She pulls her phone out from under her elbow to find someone calling her.
“Chaeng?” Jisoo mumbles, rubbing her eyes some more.
“Kim Jichu!” Chaeyoung hisses in a panicked whisper. “Where are you!?”
“M’at home… why?”
Chaeyoung lets out a low whine. “Prof. Park is here!”
Jisoo sits up. “Shit.”
“Get your ass here now!” Lisa hisses from somewhere near Chaeyoung.
“Shit shit shit.” Jisoo scrambles for her school bag and car keys. “Shit shit shit.”
She runs out of her room, still on the phone with Chaeyoung. “Is he taking attendance yet?”
“Not yet,” Chaeyoung whispers. “Not yet please come here now!”
“I’m going to fucking fly there.” Jisoo runs out of the house and hops into her car. “Shit shit shit shit.”
Jisoo’s already illegally parking in a slot reserved for Professors Only when she realizes she’d run out of the house without a bra.
“Shit.” Jisoo slams the door shut. Her stomach grumbles. She hadn’t had breakfast, or dinner, and she’s not wearing a bra. “Shit shit shit.”
She checks her phone, and Chaeyoung’s been sending her panicked messages about every little thing Professor Park’s doing.
Chaeng: JICHUUU HE’S STARTING TO TAKE ATTENDANCE!!!
Chaeng: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Jisoo looks over at the silver secondhand Nissan parked next to her car. She would never admit it, but she knows it’s Professor Park’s car. Chaeyoung found him cute, so naturally the three of them lowkey stalked him for an entire semester before taking his class.
Chaeng: JICHUUU WER U????
Jisoo frowns at the Nissan for only half a second, before giving it the hardest kick she can.
The car wobbles, then starts screaming out its alarm loud enough for the entire country to hear.
“Oh shit.” Jisoo scrambles towards the building.