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Richie had always been extremely affectionate with Eddie (and not at all shy about it), but there were things that even HE knew he shouldn’t and couldn’t do.
Yeah, he and Eddie used to secretly cuddle and hold hands when no one else was around, but some how they had convinced themselves that those were just things that really close best friends did.
There were things that Richie would be tempted to do to Eddie (like kissing him) that would pop into his head like intrusive thoughts, but he knew that no matter how in denial he was, he could never justify it if he ever went through with it.
But now that they had been dating for a little over two months, he allowed himself to really take delight in the things he finally got to do with Eddie, even if it could only be behind closed doors.
“You know, I don’t think I could ever get used to being able to kiss you whenever I want!” Richie says, while he and Eddie are enjoying a lazy sunday afternoon cuddling in bed.
“TF are you talking about? You would always kiss me, even waaay before we ever started dating!”
Richie rolls them both over, so he’s on top of Eddie and hold both of his hands over his head. Eddie tries to pull away, but Richie is stronger than him and knows it.
“Yeah, but those were just quick pecks on the forehead. Now, I get to feel your lips against mine!” He leans down and kisses Eddie gently, and the smaller man smiles into the kiss. “I used to daydream about kissing you all the time.”
Eddie looks up at Richie with a smug smirk. “Really? What else did you fantasize about doing to me?”
A vibrant blush spreads across his face. “I always wanted to kiss your ardorable little button nose …” He leans in and kisses Eddie’s nose. “your cheeks … “ Eddie giggles as Richie proceeds to kiss him on the cheek. “Your jaw . . your neck …” Eddie turns his head to allow Richie to trail kisses from his jawline and down his neck.
“So you’ve only fantasized about kissing me all over?” Eddie challenges.
“Hmmm, no. I’ve always always thought about nibbling on your ears.” An involuntary sigh escapes Eddie’s lips when Richie’s plump lips begin to play with Eddie’s earlobe.
Eddie begins to feel a very familiar and exciting heat begin to pool in his lower tummy. “Richie … “ He breaths out.
“You like that, Baby boy?”
“Mm-hmm… Tell me more.” Eddie ruts his hips against Richie’s.
Allowing his hands to playfully cruise down Eddie’s torso until they found the hem of Eddie’s shirt, Richie began to trail kisses down Eddie’s neck, then his collarbones, his clothed chest and stomach until he found himself just over the waistband of Eddie’s briefs. He looked up at Eddie as he slid his shirt up, exposing his taught toned abdomen. Eddie looked back at him with blown out pupils and flushed cheeks.
“Whenever I would lay my head on your tummy, I had to fight the urge to kiss it all over… “ Richie’s lips began to adorn Eddie’s abs with firm kisses and Eddie began to giggle because he was so ticklish, even when he was horny. Richie smiled up at him, because he ADORED the sound of Eddie’s laugh. “I’ve also always wanted to kiss your hip bones and leave lovebites all over!”
“Richie don’t!”
“Why not?”
“Because hickeys are trashy!”
“Well, how else will people know you’re all mine?” Eddie felt his heart skip a beat and butterflies collecting in his stomach at the idea of being Richie’s and only Richie’s, but he’d never admit it.
Eddie wanted to continue protesting, but as soon as Richie began to suckle on his hip bones his mind became a jumbled mess and he totally forgot how to say words.
Richie knew that once he had Eddie turned on enough, he could pretty much have his way with him completely.
Once he felt satisfied with the amount of deep purple marks he had left in his wake, he slid even further down the bed until his head was in between his thighs.
Eddie’s heart began to race as his excitement began to manifest itself underneath his briefs. Richie took notice, then looked up at him with a self-satisfied smile. Eddie rolls his eyes, feeling betrayed by his own body.
Just as Eddie thought Richie was about to pull his waistband down, Richie lifted Eddie’s legs and started to kiss and nibble on his inner thighs.
It was no secret that Richie LOVED Eddie’s thighs and took every opportunity to worship them!
Eddie felt himself getting lost in the pleasurable sensation of Richie’s lips roaming all over his thighs and inching closer towards his dick.
Richie loved to listen to the little whines and moans that Eddie wasn’t aware he would make when he was really turned on.
Eddie could feel Richie smile as his lips pressed against his delicate flesh.
Annoyed by Richie’s overconfidence, he sat up and pulled Richie up along with him. He slammed their lips together passionately and then pulled away to look up at Richie with big doe eyes, feigning innocence.
“Do you want me to show you all the things I’ve always wanted to do to you?”
“Uh … uh-yeah!” Richie nodded almost violently with excitement.
Richie wasn’t wearing a shirt (only boxers).
So, Eddie started to nibble on Richie’s nipple, while his hands wandered down Richie’s back until he they were over Richie’s b-b-booty.
“Eddie, what are you doing?”
“I think you know what I’m doing.” Eddie said as both of his hand firmly grasped onto Richie’s toned ass.
Richie was taken completely off guard by Eddie’s boldness, but he very much excited with where this was going.
So excited that his dick instantly stiffened, just from Eddies hands grabbing onto his ass.
Just as Eddie’s hands began to slide underneath Richie’s boxers and towards his firm ass, Eddie’s bedroom door flew open.
“Eddie-Bear, I’m home early- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY LITTLE BOY!?”
It was the one and only…fashion icon … neon pink nail varnish enthusiast . . queen of the windbreaker… Sonia Kaspbrak!
Eddie startles and pushes Richie off. He didn’t mean to, but it was just like reflex or whatever.
Richie lands right on his ass! He looks over at Eddie with a hurt look on his face, and Eddie looks super scared, but still mouths a silent apology back at him.
Richie tells him, “Don’t worry princess, I got this.”
Eddie got chills from the new petname, but decided it wasn’t the appropriate time to focus on that.
“Richie, dont!”
“You disgusting heathen! How DARE YOU-”
Richie gets up and ushers Sonia out of the bedroom. “Mrs.K, I love you, but I am trying to seduce your son and things were just getting good. So I’m gonna need to to fuck all the way off, okay? Why don’t you go downstairs and watch your soaps. Oh, and I would turn the volume up… . WAY UP, cause things are about to get loud. Well, Eddie’s gonna get loud. You’d be surprised, he’s quite a vocal boy when you get him goin.”
“RICHIE! OH MY GOD! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Richie slams the door and locks it using the deadbolt Eddie had installed a few weeks earlier.
Sonia begins to bang on the other side, screaming every curse word she knows and some that Richie had never heard of before.
Some were even in French.
Neither Sonia nor Eddie speak French, but whatever.
“You won’t like me when I’m angry, Tozier!”
“I don’t like you now!”
“Richie, what the fuck!? Why would you say that to her!? She’s gonna kill me! OMG I’m dead! I’m fucking dead!”
“Eddie, she literally saw you about to fingerblast me. I don’t think anything I said was anymore incriminating than that!”
“Richie this is no time to joke around! What the fuck do we do!? If she doesn’t murder me, she’s gonna lock me in here forever or worse she might send me away! We’re never gonna be able to see each other again!”
Before Richie had the chance to say anything or try to calm his little boyfriend, Eddie’s bedroom door flies across the room.
Both Richie and Eddie are shocked to see Sonia has turned green, grown by like a foot and had bulging muscles and red eyes.
She literally Hulked out!
“Sonia kill Tozier! Sonia eat Tozier!”
“Oh fuck!” Richie and Eddie dart out of the window.
Sonia break though the wall like the kool-aid man, chasing after them.
She corners them right at the edge of the roof, with no way for them to climb down. “Richie! What do we do!?”
“Eddie, this isn’t how I wanted you to find out, but She-Hulk Sonia has left me no choice.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?!”
Richie pulls out a bedazzled pipe and yells “Moon Prism Power … MAKE UP!”
Eddie is in awe and (kinda turned on) as Richie transforms into Sailor Mary-Jane.
Its totally cinematic and very much like the original anime with glitter and ribbons, but like instead of moons it’s all pot leaves and green.
Eddie takes a mental note that he kinda like how Richie looks in a miniskirt, but he’s gonna have to save for later.
“Richie, what-what the hell… “
Sonia and Richie fight it out and Richie obviously wins.
Sonia turns back to normal after she’s knocked out.
Richie and Eddie go back inside without saying anything.
What can Eddie say? He’s just … confused.
“Richie, what just happened?”
“I did, baby. I did.” He says proudly. He takes Eddie in his arms and starts to caress his head. “Ssssh, it’s over…it’s over. I got you. No one is gonna hurt you. ..Big Daddy’s got you.”
“What’s gonna happen now!?”
“Well, I’m gonna turn back and then we can call the police-”
“No! No…how about you wear that just a little longer…” He says meekly.
“Eddie! Is this doing it for you?”
Eddie looks really bashful. “Kindaaaa……”
“Okay, but what about your mom?”
“Fine we call the ambulance, but we can do sexy-fun-stuff til they get here.”
“EDDIE! … I’m down.”
The ambulance comes, and Sonia gets tested for radiation and shit.
The government takes her away to do experimental studies and tests on her.
Eddie’s like whatever, cause he’s already 18 so he doesn’t need her around.
Richie moves in with him.
Eventually Eddie discovers his own powers and becomes Tuxedo Kasp and fights crime and aliens and shit with Richie.
Bill is Sailor Maine, Bev is Sailor FireCrotch Stan is Sailor Pidgeotto, Mike is Sailor Oprah, and Ben is Sailor Iambic Pentameter.
They join the avengers and defeat IT when it comes back.
No one fucking dies, because that’s fucking stupid.
The end.