Work Text:
“Hey handsome,” Darcy said, voice bright.
“Hey pretty love,” said Hulk, bare green ass sitting on the steps of the Metropolitan museum, hands only coincidentally covering what all bystanders trapped behind the partition on the opposite side of the street were maaaaybe hoping to catch a glimpse of. Darcy tried not to judge, but hadn’t New York gotten tired of seeing Hulk’s goods yet? He ripped out of half his clothes most weeks.
“Tony messed up your pants again, huh?” Darcy asked, looking at the shredded scraps of khaki still twisted around the Hulk’s ankles.
“Tony stupid,” Hulk said.
“Yeah, he is stupid,” Darcy agreed, grinning. The Hulk’s cheeks twitched with a smile. “How’s my little guy?”
“Bored,” Hulk said quickly.
“Oh yeah?” Darcy asked, trying not to laugh. Bruce was, almost certainly, not bored at this moment. “Well I brought you your favorite robe,” she said, and hefted up the massive, obnoxiously green and monstrously furry bathrobe.
Hulk chuckled at that and Darcy kept her eyes determinedly on his face (mostly determinedly) as he shrugged back his arms and stood upright. She lifted the robe up above her head and he plucked it carefully out of her arms with two fingers.
“Thanks, pretty love,” Hulk said.
“Thanks, handsome,” Darcy said, and watched the robe swing around massive shoulders that were very quickly beginning to shrink back down. She turned around to let Bruce change in relative privacy, aside from the audience of New York City, of course.
She heard him fall back to the steps with an exhausted ‘oof’ and turned back to see her boyfriend swallowed up in lime green shag carpeting.
“Darcy,” he said, raspy and relieved. He was blinking up at her, all groggy and grumpy and rumpled and she nudged away some of the robe swimming around Bruce’s legs with her foot so she could step closer. He looked down himself and added, “I thought we agreed on pants.”
“Well, we did. But Hulk and I agreed on the robe and really, he’s the one I have to negotiate with,” Darcy said with a shrug. She reached out a hand and Bruce took it, letting her pull him to standing. She added, leaning up onto her toes to kiss at the scruff on his cheek, “Besides, robes are easy access.”
He huffed a laugh and squeezed her hand. “I appreciate your confidence in my manly vigor.”
“Don’t knock it,” she said. “I’ve had a lot of pleasant experiences with your manly vigor.”
