Chapter Text
The days never passed by too quickly for Darry. Time seemed to move at a snail's pace after the morning had shaken night off of its bones. But he tolerated the extra time. There were always animals to be fed and grain fields to be tended to. Chorin’ was repetitive, but there was something just so damn comforting about doing the same things over and over. It pertnear felt like he was depended on, despite how small it was. Someone needed to water the cows, load the trucks, clean the chicken coop, catch wild raccoons, and help sell produce down at the produce stand. It wasn’t a stable gig by any means- anyone could replace him- but it sure did feel nice.
And sometimes, when it felt like time had decided to take a small break, Darry would look out over the entire property. All throughout the fields, the barns, and the dirt. And every time he did it, he would feel as hollow as the wind. Like anything could pass through him. Sound itself was more visible than he was in those moments.
He eventually stopped looking out so far and focused on what was in front of him.
The best part about being on the farm, Darry realized, was that he never had to do anything alone if he didn’t want to. Help was everywhere- in Wayne, Katy, and Dan. The best batch of people Darry could ever hope of getting shacked up with. Not that he would ever say that out loud; he wasn’t asking for anymore soft boy points. Nothing great would get done without everyone’s hand, and no one was ever really bothered by the work. A simple, yet busy life, filled with good people.
Darry didn’t feel fine, though. People who are fine don’t lean against barns at night, wearing only their overalls, and damn near freezing their curls off. Letting a breath out and watching it dance, Darry shuffled as the wind rushed past him. The cold was getting to the point where his hands felt numb, but he didn’t worry too much. He did this often, and the worst that had happened to him was a small case of the sniffles. Almost felt the beginnings of a fever as well, but he sweated it out by hauling out some hay across the property. No one suspected a thing- except maybe Wayne, who squinted a little harder whenever Darry would sneeze.
Going numb never had any real consequences, so Darry kept sneaking outside when everything was as dead as it could be.
In the distance, the light of the porch sat in the corner of his eye. A beacon for whenever he wanted to actually go and get some sleep. Currently, it was being disturbed as a door opened and closed in front of it. In the short moment that it flickered, Darry knew someone was coming to find him. He stayed leaning against the barn, staring down as if that would make him harder to find.
Footsteps crunched towards him. They were large, and sounded like working boots. Darry knew who it was, but that only made him want to stay outside for longer. Confusion showed in their footsteps, and after wandering around for a while, they had finally stopped near him. There was a beat of silence. Darry couldn’t tell if it was in judgement or worry. Maybe both.
Then, “What are yah kickin’ your shoes around outside for?” Wayne asked.
Darry stopped his mulling and looked up from the ground, straining to see Wayne in the dark. He was wrapped in a thick, tan coat with his arms folded. It was too dark to see his expression, but Darry wasn’t too sure he wanted to see it anyway.
Darry shrugged “Don’t know.”
“That’s a big fuckin’ lie if I’ve ever heard one.”
“‘Kay.”
Something twitched on Wayne’s face. When he spoke next, it was softer. Still stern, but definitely softer. “The water in the pipes are frozen shut, Darry. You need to get inside before you do the same.”
He sighed. “I’ll be in a minute, gonna smoke a dart.” Darry went to reach into the pocket of his overalls, but he was stopped. Wayne had stepped directly in front of him, almost chest to chest, and stared him down. Darry’s heart thumped into his throat, and he could feel the warmth radiating off of Wayne. Something ached inside his ribcage, but Darry managed to push it down.
“I do not want to out of politeness and the likability of lingering awkwardness, but I will throw a shoulder under you to get you in that house.”
“D'aww, don’t wanna have a smoke with me?” Darry said playfully, trying to lighten the mood. Wayne’s concern made the ache come running back, and Darry didn’t care for that one bit. It stung in ways that twisted his gut up mighty fine. He silently prayed that Wayne couldn’t see his struck-stupid face.
Wayne then stepped away and nodded towards the porch light. “Pitter patter.” He says, leaving no room for talk. Darry didn’t want to take Wayne’s bluff on forcing him back to the house, so he solemnly started his trek back. Wayne fell into step alongside him, darting some quick glances over to his friend. Darry pretended not to notice.
“None of your fingers are turning black on us now, are they?” Wayne asks once they reached the porch. Under the light, he could now see how the cold had bitten through Darry’s face- leaving a pale red flush that brought out the pastiness of his skin.
“Nothin’s fallen off quiets yet.” Darry answers. Wayne nods curtly, opens the door, and goes in, trying to get away from the cold. A wall of heat hits Darry when he follows suit, making his body tremble. He didn’t realize how cold it was, and now he could feel a thick stiffness in all his joints. “I think I need to sit in the damn oven for a bit.” He says in one breath, shaking his hands to try and get movement back into them.
Wayne was shucking his jacket off. “What did you expects to happen- just standing out there?” Darry could hear some edge to Wayne’s voice, and he got the picture that he wasn’t too happy.
“10-4. I’m sorry, I must’ve lost track of time.” Darry had been doing that a lot lately. “You sure as hell don’t need to be getting frost on your boots just because of me, but I do appreciate you coming out there, Wayne.” All he wanted to do was go to sleep and hope that this night wasn’t brought up again.
“You’ve done this before.” Wayne states, staring at him with folded arms. “How often does someone lose track of time like that?”
To be honest, Darry didn’t quite know the answer to that himself. “Beats me.” He says.
Wayne fell silent. Darry couldn’t read his expression, and that was never a good sign. The man wasn’t exactly that emotive in the first place, but Darry has known him since they were kids. Wayne’s face was just something Darry had come to slowly understand over the years- except in moments like this. After a couple of seconds of nothing happening, Darry assumed that was the end of it and turned to start walking up the stairs.
“Pump the brakes.” Wayne placed a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. He then briefly pressed the back of his hand to Darry’s cheek. The numbness in his face immediately melted away as it flared with blood. The ache grew, but Darry wasn’t too surprised. What threw him was the worried look on his friends face. And he was then overcome with something much more powerful than the ache: guilt.
Wayne didn’t look like he noticed his friends malfunction when he took his hand back. “You’re damn near frozen, Darry. I’ll go start a fire- there’s no use in going to bed cold.”
Darry wasn’t sure if he could take that. He was soft, especially for Wayne, but that damn ache was giving him more and more trouble. The thoughts that came from it were getting harder to write off- and he knew he had to do something about it.
“Cool it, Wayne- it’s not that bad. My bed is all I need.” Before Wayne could answer properly, Darry had already begun climbing the stairs. “Don’t stay up too late, now!” He teased.
Wayne sent him a small glare in return. “Tone it down there, Darry.”
When the soft click of Darry’s door was heard from up the stairs, Wayne let out a breath. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to rid it of tension. Concern didn’t come easy to Wayne. This was different then when Darry got rabies and pertnear became a zombie. Hell, Katy and Dan even saw that. They had tried to be vague when addressing it with Darry, but it never went anywhere. It was as frustrating as it was concerning- especially since even Wayne couldn’t see through the bullshit Darry built up.
He wasn’t a paranoid man, but he had a sense for trouble. And Darry was in the center of it all.
Then, something lit up in Wayne. An idea. It was small and 10-ply as all hell, but it would sure make Wayne feel less worried on this particular night. With that in mind, Wayne then turned towards the kitchen and went to work.
After a couple of minutes, faint footsteps were soon heard. “Hey Wayne.” Katy greeted, coming down the stairs. She was wearing a fluffy robe, with her hair all up in a bath towel. Seeing what he was doing, she raised an eyebrow and then leaned against the banister. “It’s almost 11, why are you messing around down here?”
He grabbed the two mugs out of the microwave and quickly stirred them. “Darry was outside again.”
She sighed in disbelief. “Shit. He didn’t get eaten by a wolverine, did he?”
“No, but he’d keep his mouth shut about it if he did.”
“I’m guessing you got nothing out of him?”
“You’d be right.” Wayne finished with the mugs and then picked them up. Walking over, he offered one to Katy. She smiled slightly and took it.
“Thanks, big brother.”
Before Wayne went to walk up the stairs, Katy stopped him.
“Hey,” She said, “he can’t hold onto everything forever. Eventually something will come loose.”
“If he knows what’s good for him, it’ll happen sooner than later.” Wayne responded.
Darry wasn’t an idiot. His parents always told him he was slow, and maybe that was true, but he refused to believe he was stupid. He knew what the ache really was- that damn knot that never fully left his chest. Darry was well aware of what attraction felt like in all of its variations, but love was different. It was new to him, especially since it was towards the toughest kid in Letterkenny. He could feel it pump away at his heart and turn his mouth dry. It was timeless. No one in the entire town had ever made Darry feel like that.
Wayne was a good man, and Darry had come to realize that that’s all he’s ever wanted.
Maybe Darry didn’t know why the seconds turned into hours when he went out at night. Or why the cold felt safer than his bed. But he knew what it was not- and that was Wayne. Wayne was warm, like coming home after being away for too long. What he felt for his friend didn’t alarm him too much, and it sure as hell didn’t drive him outside to the hands of the cold. All he was really worried about was people finding out about it. Secrets like his were wind over a pond in a small town like theirs. Darry just didn’t want any trouble thrown his way.
But if it wasn’t Wayne, then what was making him go out into the dark? The fact that Darry didn’t know scared the shit outta him, as he didn’t think freezing to death would be very nice.
After he walked into his room and had changed clothes, Darry then laid on his bed and wrapped himself up in as many blankets as he could. The cold would linger on him like perfume, and that night was no different. He had been laying there for only a little while when someone knocked on his door. Sleep had just begun pulling at him, so his voice was a bit groggy as he said, “Come on in.”
Wayne’s form appeared from behind his door, and Darry furrowed his brow.
“What brings you here?” Darry asked. He was ready to jump out the window if Wayne wanted to have another serious conversation, and he was sure Wayne felt the same.
He walked in, holding a mug in one of his hands. “My own need for a peace of mind.” He replies, holding out the cup to his friend. Steam rose from it, hitting Darry’s nose with a punch of chocolate.
Darry sits up, trying to keep a smile down and failing. He takes the hot chocolate, savoring the heat. “Is this Aunt Nancy’s recipe?”
Wayne felt his heart skip at Darry’s small smile. “Of course. She’d skin me if it wasn’t.”
“So would Squirrely Dan.” Darry said, taking a sip. It damn near felt like a hug from the inside, just like always. “Thanks, bud.”
“Well, hypothermia doesn’t make chorin’ any easier.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
Wayne lingered, watching Darry take a couple more sips. From outside the wind blew hard, making the windows whistle. He turned cold just by the sound of it, and wondered how Darry could stand to set a foot out there.
“You gonna share the bed with me or something?” Darry teased, his shit-eating smirk in place. Heat flushed over Wayne’s face, and his stomach tied itself up. He glared down at Darry’s face, trying to convince himself that he wasn’t that pretty.
“Hard no.”