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It happens sooner than expected.
Not that it’s completely unnatural for people to become grandparents when they’re in their fifties. They don’t have a normal, never did, so why would this be any different?
Ellie sits them down on a Friday night. Dan and Phil are on the sofa next to each other, knees touching. She sits in her favourite armchair, blue and ancient. It has the same kind of crease their sofa had all those years ago. As they wait for her nerves to quieten, Dan looks at his husband of 22 years. When Phil stopped dying his hair long ago, it was all brown and a bit gingery even, but soon the grey took over. There are lines, on his forehead, around his eyes, but to Dan, that just makes it even better. He knows those lines signify all those years they have behind them. He still remembers, of course he does, the awkward nerds they were when they met.
Ellie looks so much like Phil. Same hair, even the fringe, which somehow became trendy again. She has his eyes, kind and yellowy greeny blue. She was tiny when they had her, when they first held her in the hospital. It was love at first sight and they became a family right in that moment.
Now, Ellie’s 20. She’s an adult now, but to them, she’ll always be that baby. She’s away at university, so they rarely get to see her. Soon, Oliver will move out, too, go to university as well. Two thirds of their kids leaving the family home to start their own lives. Thankfully, they still have a couple of years with Milo.
“It’s okay, love.” Phil walks to her, and sits on the ottoman in front of the chair. “Are you okay? Your dad and I need to know if you’re fine, otherwise whatever you say, it won’t matter.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Dan and Phil share a look. They’ve talked about this because they knew it would happen, eventually. Ellie’s been in a relationship with David since they were 15. Young love, they first thought, but soon began recognising the same things that happened to them. They knew Ellie and David were meant for each other, just like Dan and Phil.
So of course they discussed this. They knew, no matter when it happens, they would show her support.
“Oh, baby girl.” Dan sits on arm of the chair, hugging her. “Are you okay? Any morning sickness?”
“I’m fine, dad,” she says, annoyed; it’s one of the things she learned from Dan.
“Does David know?” Phil asks, to which Ellie nods.
“I wanted to wait for the first trimester to end.” Dan’s about to speak, but she continues. “I know, I should’ve said something earlier. I’m sorry.”
Phil gives Dan a quick look. “It’s alright. We’re really happy for you.”
“Really?” He’s only noticing the tears in her eyes. “Even though I’m like a year away from getting my degree?”
“You can always take a year off. Or you can go to school because we’d happily watch the baby.”
“In fact, you can move back home because we need a baby in our lives again,” Phil says with a smile.
She rolls her eyes. “God, you’re a lost cause.”
Half a year later, in late August, they’re doing a puzzle with Milo. It’s mid-morning on a Saturday, the rays of sunshine flooding the conservatory. He’s sat on Phil lap and reaches for the pieces Dan’s handing him. He’s only seven and has Phil’s genes so he knocks pretty much everything around.
“See this?” he holds a piece so Milo can see it. “It has two smooth edges. That means…”
“It’s a corner piece!” he says proudly.
“Good boy.” Phil kisses the top of his head. “How many corners are there?”
“Um… Four!”
“That’s right.”
Dan’s phone rings. He picks it up from the table, to see David’s name. “Hey, Davy Jones, what’s up?”
“Dan, uh... God, I’m freaking out.”
“David, what’s up? Are you okay? Is Ellie okay?” Dan’s intense tone and their daughter’s name makes Phil look up, the same worry on his face. Milo watches his dads with curiosity.
“Oh god, I’m gonna fuck it up…” He takes a deep breath and counts to three out loud. “I think the baby’s coming.”
“Phil, the baby’s coming.” He nods and stands up, still holding Milo. Dan watches them walk away, as he turns his attention back to David. “It’s alright, calm down, everything’s fine. Take another deep breath for me, please?” He does so. Dan can hear Ellie grunting in the background. “Get her in the car and go to the hospital, okay? We’ll meet you there.”
“I don’t… I don’t know if she’s okay enough to go.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know a single thing about labour and parenting and I’m gonna end up killing my kid.”
“Give the phone to Ellie, please?” Dan says, rubbing the bridge of his nose. David’s not the best at handling stress, he knows that. “Hey, baby.”
“Dad, I’m fine.” She grunts loudly and pants for a bit. “David’s dramatic as hell, but I’m fine to go to the hospital.”
“Good. It’s all gonna be fine.”
“I know. I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?”
“We love you, Ellie.” Dan hangs up and walks to the kitchen. Phil’s stood leaning against the counter while Milo is sitting on the counter, drinking orange juice. “It’s time.” He smiles at him, excitedly. Phil hugs him before pressing his lips against Dan’s. Through the kiss, Dan feels the same buzzing running through Phil. They’re going to be grandparents.
“Ollie?” Phil shouts. No answer. “Oliver!” They hear moving from upstairs, followed by a loud ‘What?’. Phil rolls his eyes at Milo and tickles him a bit, which ends up with him spilling the drink on the counter. “Come down here!”
Dan is wiping the counter as Oliver walks in. It’s bad to say this, but it’s actually quite terrifying to look at him. He looks just like Dan did when he was 18. Same hair, same style, same clothes, same mannerism. Everything. Even the same locks of curls hidden by straighteners. It’s like whenever Dan looks at him, he’s looking into a portal and at his old self.
“The baby’s coming,” Dan says proudly. “Can you watch Milo? We don’t want to take him to the hospital with us.”
“Yeah, sure.” He might be just as nonchalant as Dan was back then, but he’s more responsible than Dan and Phil combined. “Call me after, yeah? If it’s not too late, we could visit.” He walks to Milo, picking him up from the counter. “You’re going to be an uncle!” They walk away, but Dan and Phil can still hear him talking. “That’s really important, you know. You have to show him or her how to play video games.”
“Can I do it tomorrow?”
They laugh, but don’t hear Oliver’s response.
Half an hour later, they’re stood in a hallway at the hospital. It’s a long corridor, with too many doors. At least it’s not plain white, there’s nothing worse than the plain whites of a hospital. The walls are pale green and the doors leading to the rooms are blue, pink and yellow. In the middle of the corridor is a nurse station; the wall behind is blue with clouds and animals.
“Hi, how can I help you?” A nurse asks; Agnes, according to her name tag.
“We’re looking for Isabelle Howell-Lester, please. Ellie.”
“And you are?” She asks, which, they guess is standard procedure.
“Her dads,” Dan says. It’s been almost 21 years, but he’s still so happy that he’s able to say that.
Agnes smiles and looks in her tablet. “She’s in room 10, right this way.” She leads them to a baby pink door with elephants on it. There are others walking past them in the corridor, some with big bumps and some with tiny bundles of babies. But they don’t care about them, not when it’s their daughter.
Agnes opens the door to let them in. The room is fairly small, but it has its own bathroom. The walls are yellow, but not the boring, disgusting kind. Ellie’s laying in bed, her hands on her bump. Her brown hair is in a ponytail, and bouncing as she laughs at David’s jokes, who is sitting next to her, in bed as well. When they notice them, Ellie grins.
“You made it!”
“Of course we did.” They walk over to her bed. Phil’s the first to kiss the top of her head, then Dan. “We’re not gonna miss the birth of our grandbaby,” Phil says with a soft smile.
As Ellie smiles back, Dan’s once again reminded how much she reminds him of Phil. It’s his genes, after all , an annoying voice reminds him, a voice that never seems to go away. There’s no jealousy there, there never was, but Dan’s self-doubting, self-sabotaging brain never sleeps.
“You doing better, buddy?” Dan asks David.
“Yeah. Sorry about the freaking out.”
“Oh, another one.” Ellie grabs David’s hand, squeezes it until all his fingers seem to break. She pants and grunts through her contraction, releasing his hand once it’s over. “Sorry, babe.”
“I’m alright,” he says quietly. Once Ellie’s hands are back on her bump, David covers hers with his.
Dan and Phil share a smile. Ellie and David are beautiful together, their love strong and never ending. There was no doubt David would stay with her through her pregnancy.
“So, how are you doing?” Dan asks, once they pull two chairs next to the bed.
“I’m alright. I woke up around four to having contractions, but it wasn’t that bad, so I didn’t wake David. Then around… 8, I think, it became stronger and more frequent, but it was manageable. I called my midwife and she said call in an hour, earlier if needed and time the contractions.”
“Why didn’t you call, love?” Phil squeezes her hand.
“I was fine. Then I wasn’t. That’s when David called you. Where’s Ol and Mil?”
“At home. How are we looking now?”
She grabs both David’s and Phil’s hand as she has another contraction. It’s more painful now, Dan can tell, not that he has the slightest clue about labour. Three kids, sure, three labours, but he never actually had to go through it.
Before Ellie could answer, a doctor comes in, midway through her contraction. The doc is wearing pink, her blonde hair in a tight ponytail. “Oh,” she says when she sees the number of men in the room. “Who’s the dad?”
“I am,” the three of them answer at the same time.
As Ellie’s contraction ends, she laughs and swats at Dan. Of course him. She has his humour, after all.
“I’m the dad,” David says getting up from the bed. “They’re hers.”
“I see.” She turns to Ellie. “And you’re okay with such a big company?”
“Yeah, of course,” she says, panting a bit.
“Alright, then. Mind if I take a quick look?”
Dan and Phil step back, holding hands. Dan’s not sure Ellie wants to worry about them seeing her, as Phil would say, lady door. “This is really happening,” Phil whispers to him as they’re waiting for the doctor to finish her exam.
“I know. God, we have the perfect family.”
“We really do.” He smiles at him. “So, place your bet. Boy or girl?”
Dan rolls his eyes. They’ve had this conversation many times, as Ellie refused to find out the sex. No names, nursery with greens and pinks and blues and oranges.
“I’m still gonna go with boy.”
“Be prepared to lose, Howell.”
Dan smiles fondly. “So is this a Dan vs. Phil?”
“Okiedokie, we’re all set,” the doctor says and they walk back to the bed. David is stood on the other side, holding Ellie’s hand as she works through another contraction. “You’re seven centimetres dilated, so not long now. I’ll be back shortly.”
Ellie looks at Dan and takes his hand. Suddenly, there’s fear in her eyes, pure and raw terror. He’s never seen her so scared, not even on the big swing at the theme park when she was little. “You’ll be fine, baby girl.”
“I’m so scared.”
“You don’t have to be,” Phil says as he places a hand on Dan’s back and leans closer. “Your dad and I are right here, but you have someone more important.” David lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles.
“When you had me, what did you feel?”
Dan pushes her fringe away from her forehead. “Before, excitement. We wanted you for so long, so of course we were excited.”
“Your dad actually repainted your nursery in the old house like three times,” Phil says, which makes Dan’s face flush.
“Okay, I did. Everything needed to be perfect, even though the only thing you could see back then was a thing about two inches from your face.” He pauses as Ellie pants through a smaller contraction. “When you were born, you were perfect. You were tiny, and rosy and smelled amazing. I felt so happy. I felt love I’ve never felt before.”
“Dad,” a tear rolls down her cheek. She sniffs and looks at Phil. “What about you, papa?”
“I felt scared, too. You know how clumsy I am. I was afraid you’d fall from your high chair and break something and then I couldn’t take your pain away. But you were strong, you were a fighter, even as a kid. But now, as an adult, you’re even stronger now. You’re my little Wonder Woman.”
“I’m not that little anymore.”
“You are, and you’ll always be. Dad and I love you so much.”
There’s a lull in the process after this. For about an hour, the contraction come and go about every four minutes. She looks more and more tired after each contraction, but there’s nothing they can do. During that hour, they move her to a delivery room. Dan gets coffees for Phil, David and himself, but the smell of it makes Ellie sick.
The doctor comes in just as David finishes cleaning his T-shirt (some got on it as well, but he’s taking it like a champ). She examines Ellie and determines it’s time.
“Are your fathers staying?” she asks her.
Ellie, unable to say anything through her contraction nods vigorously. So Phil takes his place next to Ellie’s head, with Dan next to him. David’s on the other side, holding Ellie’s hand. There are nurses running about, telling each other things in what seems to be a foreign language as they set the scene up.
She didn’t want epidural. Maybe, after all, she is Wonder Woman, Dan thinks. She pushes through her pain, and even when she’s about to give up, David encourages her.
It’s not long. Or maybe it is, but Dan’s just so excited to meet his grandbaby that time forgets to exist. They hold her hand, letting her squeeze as hard as she needs to. Seeing her give birth should be terrifying, maybe it will be afterwards, but she said she couldn’t do it without them. Still, it’s fantastic to see the little baby they had in the same hospital, through pain and sweat, and swearing that even puts Dan to shame, become a mother.
The crying is overwhelming. He forgot how loud it is as the little body fights for that first breath. It echoes between the walls, the tiny thing louder than the cry laughter of the four of them.
“Congratulations, mummy,” the doctor says as she places the baby wrapped in white on Ellie’s chest. “You have a baby girl.”
“Oh!” she says, laughing a bit but crying otherwise. She pulls the muslin cloth a bit so they can see the tiny face. “We have a baby girl,” she says to David who smiles at him and kisses her forehead, murmuring words of admiration.
Dan watches his granddaughter. She’s perfect. She’s soundly resting on her mummy’s chest, taking the tiniest of breaths. Newborns look weird, Dan knows that, but she is beautiful.
“Dan,” Phil says quietly. He looks at him and sees big, fat teardrops rolling down his cheeks.
He kisses his lips before hugging him. “I know.”
“She’s wonderful,” Phil says. “You did good, kids.”
They all say ‘awww’ in a synchronised manner as the baby yawns.
An hour later, back in her room, Ellie’s resting. David’s lying next to her, sleeping and trying to be as close to her as possible. Everything went perfectly well.
The baby, still unnamed, is in Phil’s arms. Dan and Phil are sitting in the chairs and watching their granddaughter like she’s one of the Seven Wonders. Because to them, she is. She’s all of the wonders.
Ellie wakes when a nurse comes in, waking David, too. “Sorry, love. I know you’re tired.”
“I’m alright.” She rubs her eyes and reaches for her daughter. Phil gingerly places her in her arms. “Is everything fine?”
“Oh, yes, of course, it’s just paperwork. We’ll need to take her for a bit to check her.” Ellie nods, worried. Now she’ll understand, Dan thinks, how worried parents can be. “Have you decided on a name yet?”
Ellie’s quiet for a bit. She shares a look with David who smiles and nods. Then, she looks at her fathers. “Fiona Rose.”
Phil starts crying again and Dan, no matter how hard he tries not to, sheds a tear too. “That’s beautiful.”
Baby Fiona is then taken and David steps out to call his parents. “I hope it’s okay,” Ellie admits.
“Oh, baby.” This time, Dan and Phil lie in her bed, on both sides, holding their daughter close. “It’s perfect, you both are,” Dan murmurs into her hair.
“Can I ask why you chose it?”
Ellie nods and looks at Phil. “I know how much Nana loved the name Fiona. I know she wanted you to call me that so I’m honouring her this way.” She sighs. “I miss her so much.”
“I do, too.” Phil kisses her forehead. It was hard losing his mother, but that’s life. “And Rose?”
“Dad’s stupid rose jumpers,” she says which makes the three of them laugh. “Ohh, don’t, everything hurts.” She smiles, snuggling into them further. “So this way, you guys will always be with us.”
“I love it.” Dan pets her head, then takes Phil’s hand. “I love you, Ellie-Bellie.”
“You haven’t called me that in years.”
“You’re still our Ellie-Bellie.”
Soon, David returns, then baby Fiona as well. Dan takes a picture of the three of them and sends them to Ollie. Within twenty minutes, he comes in, bringing Milo with him. Dan and Phil sit back as they meet their niece, watching their family.
“Can you believe that in 35 years we managed to get everything in life?”
“Urgh, 35 years!” Dan groans. “I’m not that old.”
“You are, but that’s okay. I did get to grow old with the love of my life.”
“God, you’re such a sap.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Then, they quietly watch as their family gets to know Fiona. Now, Dan’s happy that it came so soon, in his mid-fifties because he gets to see his granddaughter grow up. Fiona Rose. What a perfect bundle of joy.