Chapter Text
On a first look, there’s nothing different about this day than any other.
It’s a cold day in the middle of winter, so cold that Ritsu can’t even find the strength to complain about it as his face feels like it’s freezing even when he tries to bury it as much as he can on the scarf that Maa-kun so dearly wrapped around his neck.
A cold day in the middle of the winter of his last year of middle school, walking home back together with his neighbour and childhood friend, something that he hopes that will never change, he wishes for it unconsciously, not even wanting to think about the possibility of some day walking this path all by himself.
He’s sure that if he walked by himself, the cold winter would feel even colder and his heart might even freeze.
Still, Maa-kun, young and somewhat brash Maa-kun, as if reading his insecurities decides to bring up the topic that he was trying to avoid so much.
“Even if it’s so cold, spring will arrive soon…” He says, looking up at the dirty grey sky, so dark that it looks as if it would start dropping snow on them in any moment. “And once spring arrives, you will graduate and go to high school…” He adds, and for a second Ritsu sees a hint of sadness, as if life left Maa-kun’s eyes when he thinks about that, but maybe it’s just that the sky is reflecting in them.
It must be that, unlike Ritsu, Maa-kun doesn’t have any reason to feel sad after all.
Unlike Ritsu, he doesn’t feel a sting in his chest, right in his heart, whenever he thinks about walking alone, being without his childhood friend in a new place.
Painful, so painful that he feels he might collapse in the spot, that he’s unable to continue.
“You still haven’t told me the one you will be going to.” Mao says, glancing at Ritsu, his cheeks and nose having a red colour that seems to take a darker shade every second, probably because even in this cold, he has decided to sacrifice his comfort and given Ritsu the one and only scarf that they had.
“I haven’t?” Ritsu asks, genuinely, tilting his head and thinking that maybe he never mentioned it, the high school he applied for, the one he got accepted in.
“You haven’t.” Mao repeats, looking down, kicking a small pebble on the way and Ritsu can’t help but smile at how cute he looks while sulking.
It’s something that has been on his mind lately, a worry at the back of his mind that makes him feel somehow uneasy. He has always thought that Mao looked cute, and everyone agreed with him when they were little. He has tried to convince himself that the way he looks at Mao is just that of a childhood friend that can’t move on from the past, or maybe he looks at him the same way an older brother would think that his little brother is cute.
He tries to convince himself that’s the case, and yet, it simply feels wrong, it’s not right, but he can’t point exactly what’s it.
“Yumenosaki.” He says, plainly, not giving it much importance, trying to distract himself from the sudden thoughts he has.
Mao raises his head and looks at Ritsu in awe, blinking twice and trying to process what he has just heard.
“Yumenosaki? that Yumenosaki?” He asks, and the way he’s making a big deal out of it makes Ritsu feel a bit nervous. Maybe Maa-kun thinks that he doesn’t fit, that there’s no way he could ever be an idol. “That’s amazing!” He says instead, with a smile as bright as the sun itself, so warm that it makes Ritsu believe that the only reason it hasn’t started snowing yet is because of him, because his warmth isn’t allowing it.
Being praised so suddenly, unexpectedly, actually makes Ritsu feel a bit embarrassed, not being able to look directly at Mao.
“I guess I will have to work even harder, I can’t fall behind…” Mao continues talking and Ritsu realizes that if Maa-kun decides to go to a different high school they won’t see each other that much anymore for years, their relationship might get strained, Maa-kun might meet more people, they might grow apart from each other…
The pain in his chest grows, painful, so painful that he almost feels breathless.
“Where do you plan to go?” He still asks, but truth is that he doesn’t want to know, he only wants to ask Mao to accompany him.
“Mhm? Isn’t it obvious?” Mao asks confused. “To Yumenosaki, where to if it’s not there?” He adds and as soon as Ritsu hears that he can’t hide the smile that appears in his face and he’s sure that if it weren’t because Mao is right in front of him his eyes would be filled with tears of happiness.
Maa-kun doesn’t want to grow apart from him, he wants to stay together with him, and yet, when he thinks about being able to spend his high school life along with Maa-kun, the pain in his chest doesn’t disappear.
It does becomes more bearable at least, it changes, to something more pleasant. A pain caused by the feeling of having his heart beating strongly against his chest. It’s not a bad feeling and he realizes that it’s actually warming him up, just as much as Maa-kun’s smile does.
And it’s in that moment when he has the realization, for the first time ever, that he’s in love with the boy whose smile shines brighter than the sun itself.