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An Ode To Her

Summary:

Bakugo needs to write a poem for class and he breaks the dam holding him back

Notes:

Still not trying to justify his actions with this, just to make that clear.
Anyway I only have two settings: angst and fluff and I'm in a self projecting ass mood today.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Bakugo was sweating, which was normal since that's his fucking quirk, but more than usual. It wasn't hot or humid and the A.C was on full blast in the classroom. Bakugo was nervous sweating, his palms were drenched and it was making it hard to not explode every three fucking seconds. He had a wet streak on his pants from wiping his hands off on it. Fucking gross.

But why was he sweating so much? Why was he so damn nervous? Well, if you stopped asking and was patient for a couple of seconds he would tell you. Present Mic was forcing them to do this project. Write a poem and perform it in front of the class. They were going in order of seats and he just so happened to be last so all the anxiety he had was becoming larger and larger.

The others didn't write what he wrote, they were all silly and carefree and his was….well his. He didn't gush about rainbows and cotton candy themed heros. He let the dam containing all his feelings loose onto this piece of paper and now he had to recite it in front of every single person in the room. Including fucking Deku.

He tapped his knee and wiped his hands off one more time as he stood up at his name being called. Fuck, he was really doing this. He stood up, walked to the front of the classroom and looked out at the sea of faces watching him intently before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth.

“This is an ode to her.” He glanced at Midoriya who seemed to sit up just a bit giving him that nervous, wary look he always did. He hated it.

“Some kids have cobwebs in their attic

I have have cobwebs in my brain

And the spiders sleep in my throat.

 

Some kids do cartwheels for fun

I have cartwheels in my lungs

Knocking them around and bumping into my heart.

 

Some kids play with trucks and dolls

I played with my scabs since they'd never run out

Mom always made sure.

 

Some kids picked flowers

I picked at blisters and burns

I was the only one there who cared about them.

 

Some kids love their dads

Mine sat around reading the newspaper

Asking me to shut up was his favorite favor.

 

Some kids play dress up

I play hush up

But only when mom is angry, I don't want her to find me.

 

But I don't know why

Is it my fault because I interrupted her perfect life?

I didn't ask to be born so why am I in trouble?

 

Sometimes she grabs me by the hair

She drags me down the hallway

And I sit in a closet crying.

 

At least she won't find me after drinking brandy and rum

Attack me with her poison tipped silver tongue

Words that make my cartwheels start to run

Mom thinks I like to hyperventilate for fun.”

He glanced up from the page just a bit and was caught off guard by the looks on everyone's faces. Pity? He didn't want their pity.

“She likes to tell me I'm useless

And I was eager to agree

Maybe if I weren't so useless she'd actually love me.

 

I think the last time she was proud of me was when I was four

I could make explosions in my hand now

And everybody adored.

 

They talked to me, they said nice things

I didn't care if it was all for my power

At least they were there."

"And then there was you.” His gaze pulled up completely from the page and he pointed to Midoriya. Maybe it seemed rude to outright expose who he was talking about but he didn't give a fuck.

“Even after the walls a four year old put up

Not even adults could see through my maze and hoops.

 

You saw the things no one was supposed to

My bruises weren't between me and you

Stop looking at me, don't look at them.

 

You smiled at me

It wasn't like the others

That smile was real and it hurt so much.

 

I want to make you shut up

Stop saying my name

Every time you do something inside chips away.

 

My persona is stiff

My heart was cut out and has no beat

If beating you makes you stop then so be it.

 

My hands are calloused

My heart burns bright

Maybe that's why I cry at night.

 

I don't like to sleep

She there in my dreams

Shouting, screaming, taunting me.

 

I don't like you

She liked you more than me

My mom liked you more than her son.

 

My mom liked you

And I don't like my mom

Whatever my mom likes is bad in my book.

 

But now I'm here

And she's somewhere else

My mind is getting clear with each passing day.

 

I still feel the drowning

I feel the pulling on my arms

But right now I'm not afraid the farther I step away.

 

She's not in sight

Her words don't reach

I'm so far away I feel free.

 

I'm here

I'm me

She can't do anything about that.

 

I won't listen to her

I'll block her number

Because for all the years I had to deal with her?

She can tell me how my whole ass tastes.”

He handed the paper to Mic and strode over to his desk to grab his bag. He slung the heavy piece of shit over his shoulders and spun on his heel, he was out of the classroom faster than the stunned kids in room could blink.

He shut the door to his room and counted the seconds go by as he sat on his bed. He was about three thousand in when a knock came on his door. He grunted softly in reply and watched as the gang of idiots he called friends strode in with blankets and pillows. He scoffed at the worried expression on their faces and stood up to turn the TV on.

“Don't just fucking stand there like barbie dolls, help me pick some damn movies.” And without even a second of hesitance, he was surrounded and crowded by idiots shouting over what to watch like children. It felt nice.

Notes:

THANKS FOR READING AND SORRY ABOUT BEING A BAG OF SHIT

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