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"claire, do you think i could sleep with you?" he hears himself asking before having a chance to think about it and almost bites his tongue trying to get the words back, she looks up from her tea, an aromatic blend that they found on a cupboard earlier, and blinks slowly.
"i don't mind" she says with a smile and noel can feel his smile growing a little wider and his eyes sparkling and knows that his whole face is lighting up in that way rouge says looks stupid but he doesn't care "ah, but my bed is a little small for you i think?"
"i don't mind!" he echoes her words, shaking his head a few times "it'll be like a sleepover, i'm sure we'll have fun!" and she laughs and is the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.
another cup of warm tea and a plate of biscuits later, they make way back to claire's room, the girl chatting excitedly about something that happened the other day and he knows he's heard it before but his memory is a little hazy and she keeps talking and if he ignores the situation he could pretend everything is normal, they're childhood friends and he has walked her home and everything is okay. sirius and dorothy are home and waiting for them, maybe he'll stay for dinner...he spots a red demon out of the corner of his eye, smiling and leaving a sticky trail behind and his chest feels tight with a reminder that they can't never live that way but he manages to keep smiling and nodding along at the story of the nice old lady that gives claire apples for being always so helpful.
she sits on the floor when they enter the room, smiling even when noel looks more than confused "i'll sleep on the floor then~" she finally explains, undoing the ribbon adorning her hair while speaking, folding it neatly at her side. "ah but claire, that's not what i meant!" the girl blinks, now her turn of being confused and noel wants to laugh "i meant sleeping together on the same bed" claire blinks again, once, twice before her eyes open more than he's seen lately "oh, i see!" she gets up with a laugh, dusting off her ribbon and leaving it on the closet "you should have told me before, noel!"
i did he wants to say, but brushes it off because claire is just like that and he's not the one meant to scold her for being herself when he's not annoyed in the slightest "are you still okay with it? i thought it might help me sleep at night if i was with someone..." it's a lie and noel wants to feel bad about it but he doesn't "i am! if it helps you, you can count on me for anything!"
she lies down on the bed (unmade, he notices now, and it's more endearing than anything) and sets herself against the wall to leave room for her guest "make yourself comfortable!" claire pats the free space next to her and is more invitation than he needs, leaves his jacket and tie neatly folded on a chair and lies on his side, staring at claire without a trace of shame. it's a little cramped, he thinks when his knees keep bumping against claire's legs, and he curses having grown so tall when not too long ago they could have slept on an even smaller bed.
"ah...is a little embarrassing" there's pink dusting her cheeks and she looks lovely, enough to have noel wanting to kiss her. he doesn't, just laughs "sorry, i'll close my eyes"
he does and can feel her relax, smells the faint scent of her shampoo (it's the same everyone uses, but it doesn't smell as good in ashe when he walks by as it does on claire pressed against him). it reminds him of when they were kids, taking a nap together on their hiding spot when sirius didn't even bother looking for them, he remembers holding hands that day and being found later by dorothy, impossibly close even in dreams. now they can't do that, he can't even have a night of sleep, but this is much better than anything he could think of.
claire's soft snores make noel open his eyes, the smile he always has when around her not fading even if she can't see it. "goodnight claire, have sweet dreams" he whispers before kissing her forehead, he feels brave now, this ending will be a happy one for sure.