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Sunken Temple of Osiris — 1923
“Come on,” Evy Carnahan said as she cast a worried glance behind her, faint sounds of hissing echoing down the corridor. She tapped the lacquered feather she held against the ornate pedestal with an increasingly frantic motion. “It’s just rude of you to not work. I did my research!” Evy informed the feather.
The feather was unmoved. As was the pedestal, which was supposed to shift, opening into an underground flight of stairs. Normally, Evy would be delighted with a puzzle, the chance to think things through. Right now, though, she was a bit pressed for time.
The hissing behind her got louder. Evy glanced over her shoulder again, flinching as several unusually large snakes rounded the corner, writhing their way toward her.
“I do not remember snakes being a part of Osiris’s general schema,” Evy muttered, staring at the feather. “I’m beginning to think you’re not worth the effort, public relations be damned.”
When the first person had come into the museum and informed her that the Nile wasn’t flooding because Osiris was angry, Evy had given a polite nod and asked if they wanted to browse the books dedicated to Osiris. The second she gave the same treatment, but made a mental note to research the matter further.
However, before she could do that, the third person entered the library, wailing, “The the twin feathers have been separated! Until they are returned there will be no floods, no harvest! All will starve!” That gentleman was escorted from the premises. Still, it all got under Evy’s skin. So she had done her research, and found that an ornate lacquered ostrich feather, associated with the Osiris’s Crown of Atif, had indeed entered their library archives.
Evy did not believe that an angry god was actually to blame for the continuing cold temperatures upriver and subsequent delay in icecap melting. What she did believe in was the importance of good public relations and the general population of Cairo not blaming the museum for agricultural difficulties.
Though, Evy mused as she looked at the feather she had smuggled out of the archives and back over at the overly-large snakes, this may be a bit too much fuss for public relations.
“You are going to get yourself killed!” a new voice broke in, and before Evy was entirely certain what was happening, strong arms circled her waist, picked her up and forcibly tossed Evy over their associated shoulder. Evy was treated to the view of the snakes slowly fading from view as the—woman? Yes, woman—sprinted down the hallway away from the snakes.
Evy nearly fumbled her hold on the feather, barely hanging onto it. As she clutched the lacquered spot-of-bother she tried to make sense of her situation. Discovering that sense was nowhere to be found, she fell back on social niceties. Occasionally useful things, manners. She cleared her throat, “Good afternoon,” Evy began, gave a small grunt as the woman leapt over an impossibly large hole in the ground with apparently little difficulty.
The excited twisting in Evy’s stomach was certainly due to adrenaline and not any baser motivations.
Evy tried again, “My name is Evelyn Carnahan, I don’t believe I—ack—have the pleasure of your acquaintance?”
The shoulder that Evy’s stomach rested on heaved as a chuckle rumbled through the woman underneath her. “English. So polite. I”—the woman paused to vault over a five foot stone wall, one handed, while still holding Evy—“am Diana Prince,” she said, before breaking out into a sprint again.
This was all a bit much for Evy, whose heart was making its presence known throughout her body, from tingling in her fingers to a thudding in her teeth. Still, courtesy was the way forward. “May I ask why you are hauling me—oof—down a hallway?”
Diana stumbled, slowed for two strides before picking back up again, “You were about to be eaten by snakes.”
“I had it well in hand,” Evy said, knowing she did not.
“I disagree, and I do not let people get eaten when I can prevent it.” Diana took a sudden corner, causing Evy to squeak and look for a place to hold on that wasn’t Diana’s rather shapely rear end.
Evy had been aware for some time that her attractions were not limited to the male sex, however, this was a blastedly inconvenient time to have that particular point driven home.
Once they were on the other side of the corner Evy found herself unceremoniously poured onto her feet, and steadied herself on a wall as Diana pivoted to slam shut the stone doors behind them. As she turned back around, Evy’s got a proper look at her supposed savior.
Evy’s breath caught in her throat. Diana was tall and bronzed, wrapped up in a dapper looking trench coat with a messenger bag slung across her shoulder. She was the most beautiful person Evy had ever seen, and it made her slightly angry. “And what brings you to the Sunken Temple of Osiris, Diana?” Evy smoothed her dress and stopped herself from fixing her hair.
Diana blinked over at her. “This is the Temple of Set.”
“I think you have the wrong temple,” Evy said, as Diana set off down the hallway at a brisk pace and Evy half-jogged to keep up with her.
“I know I do not,” was all Diana said. “This is the Temple of Set.”
“It is not,” Evy said. “I did my research.”
“You no doubt did the best you could with insufficient resources.”
“Insuff—the Cairo Museum of Antiquities is a well-established institution with the finest research library on the subject of Ancient Egypt! If anyone was going to know it would be its librarian!”
“Believe what you will, reality does not change. Though I am sure it is an excellent library, I do not mean to disparage it.”
Evy humphed, just barely mollified. “So, why are you looking for the Temple of Set?” In the wrong place, Evy refrained from adding.
“I need to ensure the Was-scepter of Set stands at the ready, for Apep rises again.”
“The chaos snake? That’s—a myth. Though, the Was-scepter would make a valuable archeological find…if we were in the right temple.”
“So naive,” Diana said, the words tempered by the warmth in her voice, “Myths are never just myths. You will learn. Or not.” She shrugged. “Why do you venture into what you believe is the Temple of Osiris?”
“I have a feather,” Evy held it up. “It apparently needs to be reunited with its twin, or the Nile won’t flood, crops will be ruined, all will be lost, despair, dismay, you know the story.”
“But you do not believe in these ‘myths’?”
Evy shifted, a bit uncomfortable. “It doesn’t really matter whether or not I believe in them. Plenty of people in Cairo do, and they knew we had the feather. It’s better to take the time to return it than have the museum overrun by rioters.”
Diana laughed, a throaty rumble that made Evy’s toes curl. “I appreciate your practicality, Evelyn.”
“You might as well call me Evy. Everyone else does.”
“Evy,” Diana said softly.
Evy regretted the familiarity immediately. It was distracting.
She was soon distracted from her distraction when the two of them arrived at a wall inset with a large stone slab, surrounded by hieroglyphs etched into tablets, set around the slab in an arch. Another set of hieroglyphs traced down the side, carved into the wall itself, topped by an image of…
“Oh, bugger,” Evy groaned as she saw the ambiguous, vaguely aardvark-like head of Set overseeing the display.
Sunken Temple of Osiris Set — 1923
Diana was smirking. Of course she was.
“I have some corrections to submit to several supposedly-reputable scientific journals when we get out of here.” Evy said darkly, as her eyes scanned over the symbols. As Evy read them, she was astounded to hear Diana murmur next to her, “Though the tongue knows its way, all bow before power.”
“You read Egyption hieroglyphs?” Evy blurted out without thinking, “That’s just...impolite. You’re already incredibly strong and gorgeous. It shouldn’t be possible for you to be any more perfect than you already are.”
As she ran the words back over in her head, Evy felt heat creep onto her cheeks. She was the one being impolite.
Diana didn’t seem offended, though, giving Evy a pleased smile. “I have picked up many interesting skills over the years.”
‘I’ll bet you have,’ Evy very carefully did not say, while also very carefully not thinking about Diana’s lush-looking mouth or elegant fingers.
No. There was a doorway to focus on.
Also, the distinct sound of rustling snakes in the distance behind them. Evy twisted, startled. “Don’t they give up?”
“Though they are not fast, they are persistent. We will need a way through this door.” Diana gave the slab a considering look, dug her fingers in the seam between the slab and the wall, and started straining.
“What are you—?!” Evy grabbed at Diana’s arms, pulling them back. “That is not how we get through the door!”
“Better than punching it!” Diana protested, letting herself be pulled away.
Evy mused that the woman had carried her nearly effortlessly across half a temple, she might actually be able to knock down the slab.
The hissing got louder.
“Just, give me a moment, I know I can translate this. The key is ‘mdw’, tongue, you see, in this case, it refers to a poetic arrangement of sounds—”
“I am going to go fight snakes,” Diana interrupted, pulling a golden coil of rope out of her bag. “Yell if you figure out how to get through the door.”
“Okay.” Evy said, only half-hearing her as she became lost in the puzzle. “Clearly the arrangement of the tablets are important,” Evy started pulling out tablets and rearranging them, “but what sort of a pattern would…I think if I…I could replicate—”
Evy stopped as a snake reared up next to her, hissing. A slim golden cord circled the creature’s head once, twice, then it tightened, snapped and the snake was yanked backward, falling limp.
Evy blinked. “Oh, that snake got very close to me and you killed it, well done.”
“Thank you for honoring me.” Diana nodded her head as she bounded up next to Evy. “There are a great deal more snakes. Shall I break down the door now?”
“No!” Evy pushed herself between Diana and the door, rearranged two more tablets, and the door swung open.
Diana stopped and gave Evy a slow impressed once over. Evy straightened and tucked some hair behind her ear. She wasn’t preening. The hair in her face was just itchy.
The hissing got louder. Evy looked up, startled. “Oh, snakes.”
“Ah,” said Diana, also sounding distracted. “Yes, snakes.”
And then Evy was scooped up again, held tight against Diana’s chest as they raced down the hallway.
Evy didn’t mind nearly so much this time.
Diana sprinted them down the dark corridor, not seeming to have any difficulty with the blackness. Evy wound her hands around Diana’s neck and held on tight, trusting Diana as they lept and skidded through the passageways.
Despite Diana’s speed, ever-more hissing surrounding them, for every pursuer they lost to the darkness, two new serpents seemed to writhe out of the walls around them. A pinprick of light appeared in front of them. With a grunt of effort Diana somehow pick up even more speed as she headed toward it.
The light grew larger and larger as they approached, until they were skidding to a stop in a small alcove, glowing from an indeterminate source. As they slowed Diana dumped Evy against a wall, not ungently but with a great deal of hurry.
Before Evy could protest her manhandling (or womanhandling in this case), Diana pivoted and scooped up a hooked staff with a forked end. The Was-scepter of Set. Evy’s eyes went wide as Diana sank low in what looked like a fighting stance, brandishing the scepter as she stood between Evy and the oncoming snakes.
Diana whirled the archaeological artifact of priceless scholarly value above her head what was she doing before slamming into into the ground, the forked end fitting neatly into two slots in the alcove floor. A bright light burst up from the base of the staff, twining up the staff until a ball of light started growing, brighter and brighter, centered around the hooked top of the staff.
Diana crouched and crossed her arms in front of her, waiting.
The snakes grew closer and the light grew brighter. As the snakes reached the door to the alcove— a mass of hissing, twisting scales— the light seemed to shimmer, so bright that Evy could almost feel its fluctuations.
Evy distantly wondered, through the panic rising in her, which she should be more worried about: the overly aggressive snakes, or the miniature sun growing less than five feet away from her?
Diana lunged forward with a scream. Something seemed to radiate out from her crossed arms, and as it hit the light, the ball burst open, brightness spilling out in a radiant, rippling, shockwave. Evy flinched, but the light passed over her without harm, only a whisper of warmth across her skin. But, as it raced forward and danced across the snakes, they writhed, shivered, shattered, turning to dust in front of them.
For two long seconds, everything was silent, the only sounds in the glowing alcove were Diana’s and Evy’s breaths.
“Snakes,” Evy said, as she regained her power of speech, “do not typically do that.”
“Neither do scepters.” Diana grinned back at her. “Do not worry, little translator, there will always be mysteries you do not understand, you must learn to enjoy them.”
Evy stood up from her slump, legs only shaking slightly as she got her feet under her. She set her chin and turned to Diana, “I don’t think you understand my guiding motivation all that well.”
Diana laughed again, a rolling sort of amusement that caused Evy to smile in return. She walked over to Diana. “Alright, so, Apep the chaos serpent is real. And now he is...dead?”
Diana reached over and took Evy’s arm, started strolling both of them out of the alcove. Evy let her lead. It’s not like Evy had any idea how to get out of the temple. The fact that it gave Evy a chance to wrap her fingers around lean arms corded with muscle was just a bonus.
“Well, probably not dead.” Evy continued, watching Diana’s face as they walked. “I imagine it takes more than a fancy bit of staff twirling to kill a god. But...delayed? Imprisoned?”
Diana looked down at her, “You are beautiful when your mind alights with curiosity.”
“Well then, you must constantly think I’m gorgeous,” Evy said as she felt the flush creep from her cheeks down her neck. “But how did you know the staff was here? All the current research says that the Temple of Osiris stands on this spot.”
“I do.” Diana said, holding Evy’s arm a little tighter.
“That’s not an answer,” Evy said, trying to keep focused despite the pleased smile spreading across her face. She took a breath, “…Clearly the Was-scepter has some sort of supernatural property—”
Diana’s beautiful, rich laugh echoed through the passageways as they made their way back to the sunlight.
The Next Day
Evy knocked at the hotel room door, waited about ten seconds, then knocked again. And again.
“I am coming,” a voice on the other side of the door said. It opened, to reveal a sleepy-looking Diana, whose tired expression soon brightened. “Evy! I didn’t expect to see you so soon after dropping you off at your museum.”
“Ah, yes, good morning,” Evy said, thrown off track by how…inviting…Diana looked in her silken robe.
Diana seemed to catch wind of where Evy’s thoughts were headed. She gave Evy a slow smile. “Would you like to come in, little translator?”
“Later,” Evy snapped, surprising herself. She blushed. “First, I have a few things I need to discuss with you.”
Diana raised her eyebrows. “Perhaps I should get dressed. Why don’t you wait in the parlor.”
“Ah, yes, okay.” Evy came in, sat down on the couch, and completely failed to control her imagination, which supplied her with helpful images of Diana sliding slowly out of that robe. Evy crossed her legs.
Eventually, Diana reappeared, fortunately and disappointingly not as nude as she had existed in Evy’s imagination.
“What do you need to discuss with me, Evy?” Diana asked.
“I know why I thought it was the temple of Osiris.” Evy stood up, started pacing around, never able to hold still as she explained something. “The Late Egyption dynasties demonized Set, moving his role from protector to aggressor, claiming that he killed Osiris.”
Diana gave a polite nod.
“So!” Evy made a pointed gesture, “I realized that it was entirely possible that one of the factions must have literally built a temple of Osiris over the temple of Set. It’s the only thing that makes sense with the archeological layering. However, knowing that this temple isn’t the true Temple of Osiris, I did some more digging, it was easy once I discounted any primary sources written after—I’m getting off track.”
Evy adjusted her glasses self-consciously before continuing. “I know where the temple of Osiris is now. The real one. I have also recently, very effectively been made aware that there actually are forces best described as supernatural acting upon this world.”
Diana inclined her head, looking affectionate.
Evy flattened her lips, determined not to get thrown off, “Considering this, it seems a great deal more urgent that the Feather of Osiris be reunited with its twin, lest famine actually rule the land. I am going to...go handle that. I was hoping you’d like to come along? You are very good at running. And punching.”
“Yesterday you thought this was all just myth. You were ignorant. And today you show up determined to fix the world’s ills.” Diana raised an eyebrow.
Evy set her chin and glowered down at Diana, only possible because Diana was sitting. “I…am a librarian. We do not stay ignorant for long.”
“I…see.” Diana said slowly. “Evy, I would be honored to accompany you.” Diana stood up, took two steps until she stood in front of Evy, who bit her lip as she looked up at Diana. “But first, I believe it is customary to kiss for luck before an adventure?”
“That,” Evy swallowed, “is superstitious nonsense used by men to get pretty women to kiss them when they would otherwise not be inclined.”
“Ah,” said Diana, who started to move back.
Evy’s hand darted up, wrapping around the back of Diana’s neck before she could go too far. “I will, however, kiss you because you are very beautiful and strong and have consumed my waking thoughts, and no few of my sleeping ones as well.”
“Even better.” Diana leaned down, warm and rich and perfect as her lips brushed Evy’s.
Evy made an embarrassing noise and surged up on her toes, pressing up, pressing in, wanting more, and getting it. She opened her mouth to Diana, who wrapped her up all the tighter, and Evy had never been so delighted to be consumed.
An indeterminate amount of time later Evy pulled back. “Diana Prince…” she murmured, dreamily.
“Yes?” Diana said, her lovely voice somehow even richer, sending a shiver down Evy’s spine.
Evy grinned up at Diana, certain she looked positively wicked. “...ess of Themyscira.”
Diana’s mouth fell open.
“I have so many questions for you.”
Diana laughed, sounding entirely delighted, and reeled Evy in for another kiss.