Work Text:
Steve finds himself in the hospital, sitting next to Bucky's bed alone. Sam had only stepped out a few minutes ago, claiming that he wanted to get some "real American food" because he was tired of eating cafeteria food, which translates to going to the McDonald's down the road and ordering forty McNuggets. Steve sighs, twitching his seat. He resists the urge to stand up and pace again in favor of thinking over the past few days.
After five months of following dead ends and false leads, one of Sam’s former squad members saw a person fitting Bucky’s description outside of a motel in San Diego. When Sam learned this information, he immediately relayed it to Steve and the two hopped on the first flight out west. It didn’t take long for them to track down the motel and after a short talk with the manager, they acquired Bucky’s room number.
Bucky didn’t answer when they knocked, so Steve broke down his door and the pair entered the motel room, finding the immediate area neat and tidy as if no one was living here. Sam stayed by the front door while Steve wandered into the bathroom. He opened the door and turned on the light switch, horrified at what was greeting him. His friend was lying face down in a tub filled with water, his metal arm detached and thrown carelessly on the ground while his good arm was littered with cuts and bruises, some old and some recent. Small plastic Ziploc bags filled with unknown substances and empty pill bottles are scattered around the area. Two bloody knives are sitting in the sink, while a third is laying a few inches from Bucky's metal arm.
Steve crossed the small bathroom in two long strides and pulled Bucky out of the tub. He laid the other man on the ground before kneeling next to him and placing his ear next to Bucky’s nose. Panic and fear flowed through him when he didn't feel Bucky’s breaths, worsening when he shouted, “Sam, I think he tried to kill himself.”
The pair immediately rushed Bucky to the hospital, where the doctors reattached Bucky's arm and confirmed that he had tried to take his own life. They weren’t sure if he would actually make it, considering the obvious strain and weakness of his body in addition to the self-inflicted wounds. Like always, Bucky proved the doctors wrong. His body completely healed thanks to his serum after about a day and a half. After that, it was only a matter of time before he awoke. Steve knew that Bucky would make a complete recovery and tried not to let the doctors doubts get to him.
Steve is pulled from his thoughts when Bucky groans. The blond slides to the edge of his seat, feeling hope rising through him. "Bucky?"
The brunet opens his eyes, glancing around the room before settling his gaze on Steve. “Why am I alive?” he asks, sounding dazed.
“We saved you,” Steve says simply. His eyes scan Bucky’s face as the man becomes more alert.
“Why?” The other man asks, anger flashing through his eyes. He moves into a sitting position and glares at Steve.
“Because you deserve to live,” Steve says.
“I have done so many horrible things to so many people and I’m pretty sure half of which didn’t deserve the torture and destruction I caused,” Bucky quips, his eyes narrowing in anger. “If there’s anything I deserve, it’s death.”
“Buck, that wasn’t you,” Steve begins.
“I’m nothing more than an unstable weapon just waiting to go off again,” Bucky continues as if Steve hadn’t spoken. “I don’t understand why you want to save me—”
“Because I love you, dammit,” Steve says, slightly raising his voice and cutting off Bucky’s words. “Because no matter what happened, you were always there to take care of me, and now it's my turn to take care of you.”
The brunet stays quiet for a beat before saying, “You love me?” He sounds confused and amazed that someone could still have any sort of feeling for him despite all of the things he’s done over the past seventy years.
Steve nods firmly. “I do. Always have and always will. I got you until the end of the line. Okay?”
Bucky scans Steve’s face, searching for the barest hint of a lie. He won’t find one; Steve was never able to lie to Bucky and whenever he tried, he was immediately called out and forced into telling the truth.
After a few minutes, Bucky nods. “Okay.”