Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Ahzek Ahriman - Alright, I'm done with those questions. Let's answer them so they no longer echo inside my skull.

From : Adeptus maddog

Oh Hello there This is one of Malcadors assistants speaking, I have managed to get a copy of what you are watching and I managed to discover half of the Primarchs shall betray the Emperor, but I'm unable to determine which, Any ideas on who could remain loyal and who would be traitor? Malcador got very worried, although Our Glorious Shinnymperor Glory be to his light seems amused, Still, If you could be of assistance i would appreciate it. Also, Can you Explain why intel reports from Ultramar mention Something called Ultra-chanting ? AND WHO THE HELL IS CATO SICARIUS AND WHY DOES HE KEEP POPPING UP IN THE INTEL REPORTS ?

Ahriman - This is most surprising. I didn’t think Swedesia was close enough to Earth for Malcador to have assistants there.
Ezekyle Abaddon - The Luna Wolves have conquered most of the sector of Terra, and I can ensure there is no Swedesia in there.
Ahriman - Alright then. Probably a Daemon wanting some succulent information.

From : Daemon Sergio2592

YOU ALL HAVE TO STOP BEING SUCH A CREEPS!
LUCIUS STOP MOLESTING LITTLE BOYS THAT'S CREEPY AND ILLEGAL!
KHARN CHILL THE FUCK OFF AND STOP COLLECTING SKULLS THAT ROAD ONLY LEAD TO SERVING AN USELESS PARAPLEGIC SOCIOPATH!
AHRIMAN DON'T GO DESTROYING STARS IN YOUR TEMPER TANTRUMS BECAUSE YOU CAN ENTER THAT ELDAR LIBRARY!
TYPHUS STOP PRETENDING NOT BEING A PSYKER AND ALSO STOP DOING SCAT THAT'S DISGUSTING!
ABBADON YOU'RE A LOSER AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT LOKEN IS BETTER THAN YOU!
AND TO ALL SPACE WOLVES STOP MOLESTING YOUR WOLVES YOUR DEGENERATES!
PS: Lorgar is most likely a traitor working with warp entities to destroy the Imperium transforming it in a hellish landscape because he is a whiny little bitch
PSS: Iron Warriors and Imperial Fist you must fortify both Cadia And Tyran ASAP this will solve A LOT of problems in the Long run.

Ahriman - Alright. First thing, you’re yelling so loud psychically everyone heard.
Khârn - AND YOU. NEED. TO. CALM DOWN !
Ahriman - Second, why exactly would I destroy stars ? Although that mention of an Eldar library sounds interesting. I might tell Magnus about it.
Targutai Yesugei - Should we tell Vespasian about Lucius molesting little kids?
Ahriman - Do you really think he’d believe that? Just ask Saul to keep an eye for a while.
Anyway. Probably one of those angry Daemons.

From : ‘Rogue Trader’ @CaekDaemon

Dear Ahriman,

It is said that the sons of Roboute Guilliman, the Ultramarines, are the greatest of all Astartes and that there is no mission that they could not accomplish. At the same time, however, I have heard that some of your kin in the Thousand Sons are greatly interested in the collection of relics, and this made me wonder: if the Ultramarines were given the task of guarding an object, would they be able to stop your brothers from acquiring it for their collection, or would this have the risk of tearing a hole into the Immaterium?

Yours truly, a curious warp daemon Rogue Trader.

Ahriman - The Ultramarines are allowed to believe there are. However, the Thousand Sons’ psychic gifts can be very helpful in the collection of artifacts.
And that is all I will say given that I can hear strikethrough text.
Yesugei - Nothing would stop your Legion from...lets say “borrowing” an object if you want it, actually the Thousand Sons have quite a reputation because of this.
Ahriman - Then again, we mostly do it on planets we bring to compliance, not other Legions.
Yesugei - Still better for us to lock the reliquary when of you visit, Yesugei thought.

From : Tyranid Hive Mind ‘@Jonofthezombie

Ḩ̴̭̗̦̪͙͞e̻̖̥y̹̠̗̻͜ ̠̼͈̦͚̱̩͟g͏̼̥̘̤̥u҉̢̡͙ͅy̷͍̜͟s̡̗͚̲͈̟͚ͅ
̧̛͈̳ͅ
̸̷̧̟̳̗̱̹͖ͅA̰̪͠͞n͍͈̬̲̤̱͉͈͢͜͢y̺̲͡b̗̭͇̜̘̩͍͎o̫̖̫̫͕͉̳͝d̸̻̙̦͓y͓͞ ̶̞̦͇̲̟͎͎͠͝e̻̹̦̼̥̭l̗̩̮͎̬͔͙s̭̥͇̩̖̖̦̝͡e̸̵͇͍͇͚̬ ̹̞̖̖̮̬h̷̡̲̯͎͖ͅu̷̢̯͙̯̕n̪͚̪͕g͏҉̭r̵̹͙̮̹̥̫̯y̼̼͚̘̹̠̰͓?͏̢͎̺͓͖̻̤̕
̼̗͍̫
̮͙̫̭̟͜C̤̫̳̝̝͈̬a̢҉͓̫̠̰̳̮̩u̬̩͓̠̥̕͡s̞̜e̵͙̳̪̲̱̳ ͓̳̳̳ͅw̢̩̬̭e̸͈̮̖̯̺̙̜̩̕͢ ̩s̸͉̖̫͈̺̰̕͟ͅu͏͚͓͓͖͖̥̼r̳̤͖e͙͚ ̠̜̣̩ą͇̬̱͢͡r̸̫e͏͖͕̩̤͢.̢̩̝̜͈͖̘͈̞
̵̶̠͓̳̣̳͔̭
̸̭̯͡
͍͉̰̲͇S҉̞̳e͇͎̲̝̺̖͇̙͍͞ẹ̩̻͙͇͟ ̢͚̜̬̞͔̺̖y҉̶̛̻͎o͜҉̠̙̙̟u͎̲̞͡ͅ ̝̙̙̘͇̗̬ͅa̠̹̩͡l҉̫̥̳͕l̰̟̗ ̸͍͉͙͔̳̺̫i҉̡̠̗͖̯̹̣̬̬n̖̱̼̺̹̼̣̼͈ ̝̣̝͈̟ͅ1̛̯̗̤͍̥͈͔̮͡ͅ0̴̛͕̜͖͚̟0̼̖̰̟̮0͢͏̠͇̺̮͇̖̭0̸̪̱̥̫̜̬̭̹͘͞ͅ ̮̞͡y̘̥͘e̷͇̺͉̘͢͜ͅa͓̮̞͢͝r҉̢̥̻͉̳̖̳̪͝s̸͉͈̲̰
̭͙͎̝̠͜͠
̡̟
̪T̪̰̣̦̭̰͔͔̳͟y̡͏̛͚̳r̖̯̟͎̟̬̙̩͞a̠͚̖͓n҉̰i҉͚͚̪̯̺͠͝d̷̦̟͙̠̮͎ ̵̰̮̫̫̗̙h͍̗̺̺̫͢i̗̻͚̭̳̮ͅv̬̩e̴̦̰̫̩̭̤̰̼͜ ̷̵̱̳̥̪̻̠m̥̝͢͜͡ͅi̻̻̬̖͓͞͡n̠̬̙̞̹̹d̺̝̱͎͓̤̯ͅ

Ahriman - This is definitely not creepy.

From : LordZeddthedrunk

Garro
You should make sure to check up on Calas typhon with the help of Ahriman and Targutai Yesugei Incase Erebus has already corrupted him.
Ps. You should keep an eye on the Crysos Morturg. That badass survives with a direct orbital bombment striking him from the traitorous Horus.
Loyalist for life.

Ahriman - Very appreciated. Garro, did you get this ?
Nathaniel Garro - Excuse me if I can’t believe it. Why would I listen to someone who uses psychic powers
Ahriman - Excuse me. Fourth-dimensional warp fuckery.
Garro - Psychic Powers to talk to me ? I will investigate Typhon, but if he proves innocent, Morturg is going down.

From : ‘Xeno with the strange language that we are going to exterminate with Promethium’ poketwo

Ke kekeke
Kekekekekekeke? Ke ke keke? Ke ke! kekekekekekeke! ke ke ke keke ke kekekeke ke ke ke ke. Ke ke ke. KE! keke kekekekekeke ke ke ke ke ke. Ke Ke Ke. Ke keke ke kekeke ke ke ke? ke ke ke kekekeke. Keke kekeke keke kekekekeke ke ke kekeke kekek. ke? KE!
ke
Kekekekekekekeke
K E: kekekeke ke ke ke ke ke. Ke kekeke.

Bjorn the Fell-Handed - Well, that sounds like something that needs to be heated to in-ke-descence.
Artellus Numeon : I’ll go get the flamer.

From Imperial Citizen Baran3
A question?
Just one: How the warp did you managed to put all those Astartes together without (too much i hope) problems?

Bjorn - With Booze!!
Ahriman - Essentially this.
Yesugei - That’s also the reason why I’m here.

From : Genetor Jonofthezombie

Ahriman

Have you noticed the similarities between the flesh change and the wulfen curse? And if so what do you think about it? I mean what are the odds that two legions have genetic defects that result in some of their members turning into monsters?
Also just so you know Wyrdmake is going to backstab you, the Tutelaries are going wreak havok on Prospero and you are really going to enjoy episode 23.

Ahriman - The Wulfen Curse ?
Bjorn - Nothing worth mentioning.
Ahriman - … Alright.
As for the Tutelaries, why would we unleash them on Prospero ?

From : Captain TheExtranatural ‘Hairgel’ Aramus of the Blood Ravens Chapter

Okay, I have a question:

"Hey, could you tell the Word Bearer that is amongst you that there is this one Astartes Legionnaire named Eliphas who will kill his CO and wreak havoc in our recruitment worlds in the future? Oh and could he pass this message from us, stating that the Word Bearer that we named is an asshole since he killed one of our Captains and helped our Corrupt Azariah (Chapter Master/Chief Librarian) out in corrupting half of our brothers to Chaos that it started a civil war within our ranks? I know that killing him might be bad if the time-space continuum was disturbed, causing billions of lives being snuffed out of existence in an instant just because something small changed and all but this is as far as we can get. Also Ahzek, while the future might seem bleak to your legion, there is a small portion of it that managed to find a way to stave off the flesh change. They still fight for the Emperor up to this day."

-4th Captain "Hairgel" Aramus of the Blood Ravens Chapter

Ahriman - Passing this info on to Narek.
Barthusa Narek - I don’t know about an Eliphas, but first let’s take care of Erebus and Kor Phaeron. Those two are way more in a position to make damage than that Eliphas. After we’re done with these two and maybe Typhus we’ll look into it further.
Ahriman - This theory about the space time continuum is interesting. Fortunately, however, if I were to guess, you are instead from an alternate timeline since the future is altered by our having seen the videos.
The knowledge that some of our legion has remained loyal anyway remains comforting. Thanks for this question, brother.
Yesugei - Captain ‘Hairgel’? I would expect this from a Space Wolve, Ahriman, not from a Thousand Son.
Ahriman - Everyone is allowed to have their own style. Not everyone can rock the Achaemenid look, you catch my drift?
Yesugei mental sigh.

From : Lord Commissar Antonius:

So for the questions I'd like to pose one: Why do you want to FAHCKING MURDER THE STARS Ahriman? Were you bad touched by a C'tan or something?

Ahriman - Uh… I have no reason to kill the stars? Unless they want to kill me? Also why are people asking me why I kill stars? I never killed one in my life. Do they want me to kill stars?

From : Astartes Librarian Rjrulew

Wyrdmake, what makes you think your traditions are any less psykery then the thousand sons. The White Scars channel their power through a world spirit like you supposedly do via Fenris but they still admit that its warp energy albeit filtered so why are your rune priests not psykers when there is literally no difference in energy type or it being filtered from an external source like a world spirit, Like for example the Riders of Chogoris who also channel the blessings of their homeworld for powers while still having the balls to admit that they’re not solely from the planets world spirit.?

Ahriman - Wyrdmake is not here, but I’ll make sure either Bjorn or Yesugei will transmit the message.
Yesugei - About us White Scars, while we believe that our powers are connected to the spirits of the land and air, and even admit that they are related to the warp, we, Stormseers, are not like the Psykers from the Thousand Sons, unlike them we know when to stop messing with the Warp.
Ahriman - Well if this Chaos thing comes from the Warp and corrupted us, well, this might be a good moment to stop or at least go easy on it. But exploring and categorising the properties of the warp, to advance human knowledge, is very important to us.

From : Tech-Priest Lass McChurros

For Yesugei, since your legion disapprove putting old or wounded astartes into dreadnought partially for not being able to accomplish your strategy of hit-and-run (dreadies just hit-and-waddle). How about asking help from the mechanicum (or the ones that can do it) to customize them to go faster just the way you guys like?

Yesugei - While there is a couple of orders of magnitude between the speeds the White Scars and dreadnoughts achieve, it would probably help if the dreadnoughts could be made faster.
Cogboy - These interrogations would need to be transmitted to the closest Magos. Adjunction of wheels has been offered but refused. Lord Khan refused to see his warriors rollerskating on the battlefield.
This is true.
Bjorn - Maybe they should get tank tracks ? They’d be called Treadnoughts !
Yesugei - This is stupid Bjorn, even for you.

From : Genetor billthesomething

Abbadon

Do your arms hurt?

Abaddon - Occasionally. But only after sparring with either Khârn, Sigismund, or an exceptionally annoying Ork. Why do you ask ?
Honestly, I’m much more concerned by Calgar the Armless.
Bjorn - ^_^
Abaddon - Bjorn no.
Bjorn - He should’ve stayed out of arm’s way.
Khârn - Stop.
Bjorn - The situation clearly went out of hand.
Abaddon - Bjoooorn...
Bjorn - He should have known there was deviltry afoot. He'd have had a leg up on it.
Khârn snaps - BJOOOOOOOORN !

From : Servitor feral wolfskin

01001000 01101111 01101110 01101111 01110010 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01100101 01100011 01101000 01110000 01110010 01101001 01100101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101111 01101101 01101110 01101001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101000 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101100 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101101 01100001 01101100 01100101 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101110 01100101 01101001 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00111111

Cogboy : 01011001 01100101 01110011 00101110

“Dear hunam
We of the [REDACTED] Star empire have decided to invade you lot. Your blatant arrogance, hostility, and mocking of our lack of opposable appendages are the reasons for this. You claim to Have "Over a million worlds", but your army is the size of a planet-bound empire. Your bluster is clearly a bluff, a facade, meant to scare away any relevant galatic power. You have fooled those idiots around us, but not our superior minds. We shall conquer Terra, and you will be enslaved. Your empire is no match for our 1,000 light-year territory! HAIL SCYTHIA, GLORY TO [REDACTED]!"

Ahriman - Hey Dantioch, there are Xenos from your side of the Great Crusade talking shit !
Barabas Dantioch -  I’m sure Perturabo will come up with the most creatively efficient way to end them.

From : Remembrancer Shadaki

Ahriman, Khârn, you've been Space Marines for as long as the Legio Astartes have existed. What do you think are some of the most interesting events that have happened over the course of the Great Crusade?
Also, What happened to II and XI?

Ahriman - Well, usually Crusading is pretty boring
Khârn - It’s pretty much land, crush, reembark. Occasionally the Orks prove slightly more annoying, but in the end, it’s just that. The eldar sometimes decide to annoy us, but we let the Imperial Army take care of the knife-eared pricks.
Ahriman - Aside from when Primarchs are discovered. When we first met Magnus… It was as if the great fear of our legion had been lifted. Well, to be fair, it was technically exactly that, our curse was lifted. So there’s that.
Khârn - You were lucky. When we picked up Angron, he was nowhere happy. He was significantly angrier than his later average.
Ahriman - As for II and XI, there never were legions by this name. They totally never existed! (*looks to the sides, concerned*)