Chapter Text
Sonder (n.)
The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
(THE DICTIONARY OF OBSCURE SORROW)
The cherry blossoms whirling in the wind at the start of the university year resembled snow. An Accounting and Finance major student like himself, Keiji found life to be as bland as the numerical balance sheets he could never balance and the financial statistics he could never get right. Yet here he was in Tokyo, studying for this degree which his parents had forced him into.
Forced would be too harsh a word for this. Rather it was the doubt of not being successful in his dream of being an author and the probable guilt of failure in a practical life that would eat him away slowly like termites on wood. With his books in his hands he treaded to the library. His cold fingers tapped the hard cover of his ‘Accounts: A guide’ book and his dark eyes darted here and there to take in his surroundings.
Pink, as the cherry blossoms bloomed at this time of the year. Pink, as the blush dusted on the passerby girl, who walked briskly past him muttering about how late she was. Pink, as the color associated with hope and the tidings of better days to come. Pink was what he needed, Keiji noted as he pushed open the library doors and sighed as the murmurs and hum of people echoed in the establishment.
He walked to the corner most tables he could find and sat on the chair to the side. His books were kept on the table, pouch taken out from his bag and a notebook flicked open as he began his studies.
Balance, invoices, certainty, prevention, fraud and such topics filled his brain till it felt as if all he learned would surely pour out if he did not close his books. So that he did and with an audible flap of books, he pushed them aside and flipped through his notebook and opened the pages at the end. He let his eyes close as he imagined a world unlike his, a timeline of an alternate universe with destruction and havoc. The main character, introverted and weak pushed through a hell of his past and working with a hardened heart, fighting against those who wronged him. The clash of swords and the sounds of lasers echoed in Keiji’s mind as he thought further.
Blank was the scene in his mind and blank was the page opened for further ideas. Keiji could not help but groan. Writer’s block was his obstacle and perhaps every other writer’s as well like a gigantic white wall.
How will you paint it Keiji?
“Pinks and blues and oranges…” Keiji muttered as the pen in his hand began writing the scenes he had already written, revised and published online. He knew that he just had to overcome this wall and he will too, but how was the question. One could not keep on wandering in the abyss with the start and the end. It was the journey which colored the whole story. Keiji looked around and decided to describe his surroundings. Description helped a lot. It would spontaneously give Keiji ideas and approaches.
He observed his partner sitting next to him, reading a book with his brow knit in worry. He may have a test, Keiji noted. A computer science major perhaps, given the formulae and codes scribbled on his notebook. Keiji turned his attention to the bookshelves where two girls whispered to each other and their faces broke into cheeky grins as a boy greeted them. A popular guy amongst the girls, Keiji assumed.
The librarian stamped some books, the sound of the stamp pressed and the book clamping shut and kept to the side felt like a rhythm which travelled far back to Keiji’s table. It was calming yet it held the mood of repetition. The two boys seated in the table in front of him snickered as one of them showed the other a picture on his mobile. Keiji rolled his eyes. They were probably a couple of perverts who did not respect the library’s place of studies.
He looked around to observe some more, his pen tapping lightly against his notebook when the library’s door opened and a loud group of entered. He noted the two men who were probably leading the group given their strong postures, backs straightened, huge lanky grins and loud voices. Not to mention the duo’s interesting hairstyles. One of them looked as if he had just rolled out of bed, decided to properly wear his clothes but not comb any of that messy hair. Or perhaps his hair was like that naturally, Keiji thought to himself. The other looked as if he had applied gel to his hair to make him resemble a horned owl, hair silver with black streaks as if to add the effect.
The other was a tall foreigner, his eyes wide and alert, his grin resembling the Cheshire cat’s in the Alice in Wonderland tale. He had to bend down to talk to an angry short boy who at first sight would not have been taken as a university student but his mature stance and the confident glare in his eyes made Keiji think otherwise. They seemed like an interesting group and Keiji found himself hoping that they would come near so he could observe them better.
It was then when he heard a hushed yet clear voice belonging to the horned owl man who had paraded to the table besides Keiji’s, bag kept on the table with an audible sound and had leaned on the chair and grinned at the girl seated opposite.
“Hey, hey, hey!” He greeted and Keiji noticed his eyes.
Gold. A color which Keiji had not yet thought of.
“Do you have money for the phone line? Cause I told my bro Kuroo I’d call him when I fell in love.”
Keiji tried not to cringe. That was a terrible pick up line.
“Isn’t he already with you?” The girl questioned with a sneer. “You could do better Bokuto.”
With that she got up and picked up her books and left the table. Keiji noticed the small frown on the horned owl man’s face before it was quickly replaced with a playful grin.
“Kuroo my man, I fucked up because of your existence.”
The man with the outrageous bed head laughed loudly as he slapped the other’s back.
“You fucked up. What was that? Flirting? Man, you suck bro.”
“Shut up. Do you want to learn these graphs or not?”
Keiji breathed out with a hint of annoyance as he quietly put his things back into his bag. He took his books and walked to the library doors, away from the noisy duo who was now being scolded by the librarian when he slipped out.
Bokuto, probably a year older than Keiji. Male. Terrible in flirting.
He seemed like the one to cause trouble. But Keiji grinned as his steps turned to small skips and he thought of the wall which was his writer’s block.
I’ll paint it gold.
Lodestone (n)
2. Something that strongly attracts.
(MERRIAM WEBSTER)
“Bokuto Koutarou? He’s a second year in the Economics course. He and Tetsurou were in the same volleyball team in high school.” Keiji’s roommate Kenma said without looking up from his game.
“The one with that outrageous bed head is your boyfriend?” Keiji asked in surprise. He had just mused out loud about the group which had entered the library yesterday and Kenma had recognized them.
“Yeah. He doesn’t come in our room because he knows about your tough course. He doesn’t like to disturb people despite what his appearance might suggest.” Kenma replied with a slight shrug.
“Oh.” Keiji was caught off guard. Perhaps he had taken in just the playfulness of the group at first glance. Their carefree attitude was a little misleading. He would have never imagined that Kenma’s respectful boyfriend who asked about Keiji from the very first day he and Kenma became roommates, the one who would call and tell Kenma to take care of himself would be the very ‘Kuroo’ who laughed so loudly.
“Yaku is a complete mom by the way, and Lev… he’s annoying.” Kenma added while licking his lips. Keiji’s roommate didn’t talk much and when he did it was always worth the listen. “Bokuto… well he’s just him I suppose… damn it.” He squinted at his game which played the ‘Game over’ music in a mocking tune.
Keiji remembered the first day he moved into the dorm and met Kenma. The shorter boy’s hair was a strange sight at first. His dye was faded from his roots which gave him an odd look as he eyed Keiji before flopping on the bed.
“Too much effort.” was Kenma’s reply when Keiji asked about his hair.
The subject was never brought up again.
To Keiji, Kenma’s presence reminded him of the color turquoise. His presence was calming like the coolness felt at a freshwater lake. Keiji found himself most comfortable around him; the fear of any sort of rejection was never displayed by Kenma. His eyes however would remind Keiji of a cat’s, bright and focused. At first encounter, Kenma’s presence did intimidate Keiji. He went back to the first days with them being new roommates. He remembered how he had found himself asking:
How shall I paint this situation?
The question was answered by silence. And by silence they both warmed up to each other and movements were coordinated according to each other unconsciously. A harmony, Keiji noted, like what the beautiful turquoise represented.
Keiji smiled tiredly at his friend and got up to make his way to the kitchen.
“I’m making cold coffee, do you want some?”
The “hmm” from Kenma was taken as a yes and Keiji took out the blender and the instant coffee sachets. He found himself soon thinking about his story so far. The color gold! He wanted to scold himself for not thinking of it before.
“Wealth, grandeur, passion”, Keiji thought in his head what it signified when he had searched about the color as he poured milk and emptied the coffee, “Courage, wisdom and magic…” The blender’s noise filled their dorm as Keiji delved in deeper in his imagination, Bokuto Koutarou’s face flashing from time to time. The white wall was now painted in gold, a character emerging from it and Keiji had to stop himself from exclaiming ‘Eureka!’
He poured the coffee in two glasses and walked to the couch with them where Kenma sat cross legged now, working on his laptop.
“Thank you.” Kenma said as he took a glass from Keiji. His cat like eyes studied Keiji for a while before they flicked back to the screen. “You thought of what to write further?”
Keiji nodded and he took a sip from his glass. “A new companion this time. Alien, a bird type, humanoid yet unearthly. Brave, loud and funny, brash yet passionate…” He bit his lip, “And perhaps a little mysterious even?”
“Interesting.” Kenma commented without looking away from his work.
“Thank you.” Keiji said as he finished the last of his cold coffee. “I’ll have to research a bit further though.”
“Good luck, its hard writing Sci-Fi.”
“Yeah.”
After completing his studies, Keiji laid in bed trying to welcome sleep. Instead ideas poured into his mind of how the scene would continue further. The new character quite literally barges into the main character’s life and makes a place for himself in the primary mission. He is loud, as Keiji had thought of before… and then what?
The painting was incomplete and he didn’t know how to make the next stroke. Time ticked by and the new character was placing himself in the story line, yet being a blur at the same time. Was the new character supposed to be tall and thin… or built and buff… or what? How would he turn the tables for the main character? Will he be good or evil?
Keiji groaned as he tossed and turned. His hand reached out to his phone and when he checked it for the time he sighed. It was about to be five in the morning and Keiji had a sleepless night. Perhaps the coffee was a bad idea? He got out of his bed to glance at Kenma who was fast asleep, a strand of hair in front of his opened lips moved along with the sleeping boy’s breath. It was probably not the coffee but his imagination and frustration rather, that had kept Keiji up all night.
Instead of going back in bed and waiting for eight to strike, Keiji decided to go for a jog. He stretched his arms and stifled the tired yawn escaping his lips. It was no use to sleep now. He washed his face and took out a change of clothes; a T shirt and track pants and headed for the dorm’s showers.
A few minutes later he returned to his room, fresh and alert. He took out his jacket and wore it along with his jogging shoes and then covered Kenma better with the blanket that had been tangled in between the sleeping boy’s legs, leaving him exposed to the cold. He quietly locked the door behind him and made his way down the stairs.
He felt the cool morning air greet him as a numbing force while he jogged. He began to make a to-do list for the day mentally. He had to attend classes as usual, talk to his professor about the upcoming project in his finance class and study for his calculus test later in the week. Not to mention the days had gone by in a flash and Keiji had to update his story online otherwise the readers would lose interest.
He yawned and made another note; coffee before class.
He then switched to brainstorm about his story again. He had thought of the color gold. However he was stuck yet again. The character lingered like a small light blinking in a foggy and abandoned train station. It was a brilliant idea yet it was at its infancy stage. A character that is easily noticeable, who bickers about and maybe tries to be funny…
Keiji was cut off in his thoughts when he heard a few voices coming from ahead. He slowed down in his jogging as he recognized the four people from before along with a couple more. All wore matching jackets and track pants in the university’s colors and were laughing and talking quite loudly.
One voice was louder than the rest and Keiji had recognized it. It belonged to Bokuto Koutarou, who was grinning as Yaku shook his head in exasperation. Keiji jogged behind them, but not close enough that the group would actually notice him. He never thought he would find himself in the same place as Koutarou. He could turn and change his jogging route, it was that simple really, yet he found himself following them.
The group rambled on in their conversation and then Koutarou decided to change his jogging position to that closer to a grey haired boy who was laughing.
“Hey Suga!” Koutarou spoke.
The grey haired boy looked at him smiling. Keiji noted that the said ‘Suga’ had an attractive face.
“Yeah Bokuto san?”
“Are you tired?”
“Um… a little? Why?”
“Cause you’ve been running on my mind this whole time!” Koutarou replied with a grin.
The whole group barked with laughter and Keiji felt as if he had swallowed a glass full of sour lemon juice. That pick up line… was very lame in every single way. He may have had the opportunity… but really?
The grey haired man giggled and patted Koutarou on the back. “Bokuto san, you’ve done your best here I suppose… but really I’m taken.”
At this the group stopped and Keiji found himself jogging still. He should turn away and not cause anyone to look his way, but then again why would they bother? He just happened to be jogging by.
“Oho? Who’s the lucky person Suga?” Kuroo asked eying the man with the short cropped brown hair who seemed to have his ears red.
“Oh it’s him…” Keiji muttered as his jogs were switched to a fast walk as he made his way ahead of the group from the side.
Keiji heard a loud voice from behind him.
“So Bokuto san? When will you use your owl pick up lines?”
“Lev my boy, those are for ‘the one’. I knew Mr. Refreshing Suga would be taken… I just needed to see if I had a chance really.” Koutarou replied.
“You’re too late. Ah please don’t look so down though!” Keiji heard Suga say between laughs and he found himself smiling.
Bokuto Koutarou. Male. A year older than Keiji. Economics major. Probably aiming for the sports world. Bisexual probably. Terrible at flirting. Frequent minor mood changes.
He resumed his jogging stance and the wall began to paint before him.
Humanoid with traces of feathers on his arms and lower legs only. Head is covered with feathers and gold accessories. Built and has good reflexes. Feathers are black with a hint of silver and grey. Tanned and has talons for nails. Has a mysterious background. Unstable with his terrible mood swings. Very playful and tends to say terrible pick up lines. But he is loyal to his comrades and the main character.
All Keiji had to do now was to come up with a name.
Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon (n.)
When you find out about something and it starts to suddenly come up everywhere in your life.
(COINED IN 1994 BY A COMMENTOR ON ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS)
Bokuto Koutarou began to appear everywhere Keiji looked. Be it in the hallways or the cafeteria or even when exchanging rooms, Keiji began to notice the loud individual in general. He did not mind it though. Rather, he was actually quite pleased with the owlish man popping up everywhere.
He had recently made the new character appear who was greeted with a renewed enthusiasm from his readers. His funny personality and interesting appearance was what the readers praised and Keiji had to admit, he could not have achieved this much had not Koutarou appeared in his life.
Not to mention the terrible pick up lines. Bokuto Koutarou, Keiji noticed, was an eager person, ready to ask just anyone out with a pick up line. Keiji had tried searching pick up lines online, but he got worse than those which escaped Koutarou’s lips. His pick up lines had a hint of playfulness, but they were never dirty unlike the ones Keiji found.
Hence began the unintended yet now fully intended observation of Bokuto Koutarou. Keiji needed the pick up lines. He had creatively made the last two he heard adaptable to his Sci-Fi and now he needed even more to keep the mood of the character afloat. A character of comedy relief, yet, at times one who doubts themselves which was a rather dark character trait.
He would subconsciously be listening to the conversations of the group from time to time, whether it was during their morning runs or when Keiji would be getting his lunch. Bokuto Koutarou appeared everywhere.
It was just the other day when Keiji had decided to get himself a proper coffee from the university café when he noticed Koutarou once more. Keiji stiffened a little as he realized he was standing right behind the person he had just started stalking.
Stalking was too overboard. Observing was more like it. Never the less, it made Keiji nervous. The thought of Koutarou turning around and perhaps recognizing him was a little terrifying. Keiji was not very good with coming up with excuses. Give him something like an object and tell him to write a story related to it he would do so in five minutes. But catch him doing something off guard like writing or in this case observing someone for a character and he would be blank.
“Here’s your coffee, sir.” The girl on the counter said as she handed the coffee.
“Oh, it’s hot!” Koutarou exclaimed and then with a chuckle he added, “But not as hot as you.”
Keiji had tried not to groan as the girl laughed nervously and waved the other off.
“I’m on my shift.”
“Of course. Keep it up.” Koutarou lifted his coffee up a little and walked away.
Keiji saw the Koutarou saunter off to the table where the short guy, Yaku if he remembered correctly, was seated. The shorter of them had a face palm while Koutarou grinned as if he had accomplished something great. Keiji found himself shaking his head before he turned to the still blushing girl.
“I’d like a cappuccino with extra froth?”
“Right away sir.”
Nowadays, Keiji observed the color brown. The shade was more like that of chestnuts and as he noticed the color more, he realized how relaxed his life was currently. He was able to write most of the times, his results were above average and he felt a sense of being content with his life. Perhaps stability was the key here and that was why he noticed brown more. Be it the hair of someone’s blowing by the wind or the wooden benches in the campus. Or the tree bark against which he would rest after his morning jog or the brown tiles in the library which gave off a rustic vibe.
He noticed his story was going along smoothly; reviews were increasing along with positive feedback. People liked it, he saw his work getting recommended on social media and Keiji couldn’t help but feel extremely pleased with his life so far. Writer’s block had vanished completely and his path had no walls ahead so far. If only it could go on forever like this.
But of course; it didn’t.
After a few days, Kuroo stopped by Keiji’s and Kenma’s dorm. The tall man grinned at Keiji who was seated on his bed while the latter sat on Kenma’s. Keiji was not the least bit threatened by Kuroo’s presence. He had grasped an idea of how the man with the outrageous bed head was exactly.
Loud, witty, teasing yet kind and concerned. That was what Keiji was able to deduce so far about him. He was cut off in his thoughts by the one in question.
“I knew you were familiar!” Kuroo exclaimed as he slapped his hand on his own thigh. “You’re the one who jogs alone behind us in the mornings! Nice to meet you Akaashi kun.”
Keiji felt his throat go dry. They had known all long that Keiji had been jogging behind them for weeks. He tried not to stutter as he replied quietly, “It’s nice to meet you too Kuroo san… Thank you for being so considerate though you really didn’t have to with coming here.”
“Ah, no problem, my friend Sawamura has the same program as you. He works himself a lot so I thought hey! Maybe I shouldn’t crash much at your dorm.”
Keiji shook his head, “Come over whenever. I really don’t mind.”
They were interrupted by Kenma who entered the dorm room with a small scowl. “Tetsurou, they ran out of your favorite drink, so will coke work?”
Kuroo smiled and walked over to Kenma to kiss him on the forehead. “It works fine. I didn’t know you were out to buy drinks.” He then turned to Keiji and offered something which caught Keiji off guard.
“Why don’t you jog with the volleyball team from tomorrow? We don’t really mind you know.”
A chance to know Koutarou and his group of friends was something Keiji couldn’t miss. He could then observe them more and it would help a lot in his writing. Also, making new friends didn’t seem like such a bad idea. He didn’t talk to many people besides those in his classes and Kenma. It would be a nice change.
Keiji felt his lips twitch upwards as he walked over to take his iced tea from Kenma. “If its fine… then I shall join.”
The only thing he hoped was that Koutarou did not notice Keiji watching from time to time.
“Awesome, you’ll love everyone.”
That night Keiji wrote the next chapter. It was a rather depressing one about the main character and his friends losing a fight. He needed Koutarou’s character to brighten up the mood. He decided to let it go for now and saved his work. The wall had returned, all bare and dull. He’ll overcome it, he told himself. He just needed another of Koutarou’s pick up lines. He stretched his arms and then turned off his laptop.
He found himself lucky as he would join the volleyball team in their morning run. New people and the high chance of knowing more about Koutarou made him want the night to be over already. This was all for his story of course and nothing more.
Slumber had made its crafty move on Keiji and he soon found himself collapse on his bed. Droopy eyes checked the alarm set once more and then they crashed shut.
In his dreams he saw his character in a rather sad position, his back was bent and his gold eyes had no spark. He saw the wall loom above him in an intimidating manner. Darkness followed soon and Keiji found himself gasping for air as his alarm rang in his ears.
It took him a while to register his surroundings. It was about to be dawn, judging from a little light peeking in through the curtains. He let out a yawn and he rubbed his eyes. The dream was recalled and it worried him a little but he set it aside to get ready.
Today was a big day. The feeling of being judged would cause a lump in his throat from time to time. As he washed his hair, the dreaded scenarios played in his mind. What if Koutarou had noticed him looking? They had been in the same places more than Keiji could count.
He smacked his hands against his cheeks to get a hold of himself. It’ll be fine, if he asks, Keiji would just tell him that he looked interesting. He’ll get out of an embarrassing situation while Koutarou also gets sort of complimented. He walked out of the shower area after drying himself and tossed the towel in the used basket before wearing his clothes. The shower was running in another stall. Someone else was awake this early as well. Keiji wore his boxers and track pants and then plugged in his hair dryer.
He tried to dry his hair as quickly as possible. While trying to reach the back to his wet curls, someone tapped him on his back. The touch of skin on his own startled poor Keiji and for a minute he thought he saw red all around him. He turned around cautiously and breathed in sharply when he recognized the person behind him.
“Yo!” Bokuto Koutarou greeted, his hair wet and covering his forehead mostly. He looked less of an owl and more of a suspicious delinquent right now. However the sheepish grin on his face countered the impression. “Look, my hairdryer broke and I have to go on a run today so it’s okay if I borrow yours? After you’re done that is… I mean sharing is caring and all that!”
Keiji’s eyes darted to his hair dryer and then to Koutarou. Koutarou had not recognized him. Keiji felt relieved to know about that, yet he felt he felt a pang of disappointment as well. “Sure.” He replied quietly.
The other man’s face lit up with joy and a little relief, Keiji noted the subtle emotion in Koutarou’s face. He was drying arms and Keiji tried not to swallow. Koutarou was very well built, like his own character.
“Hey hey hey! Your hair is still wet from behind, give me your hairdryer and I’ll do it for you!” Koutarou offered, “By the way my name is Bokuto Koutarou.” Keiji found himself looking at those gleaming golden eyes again.
“There’s no need to inconvenience you Bokuto san, I’ll get done with my hair shortly.” He assured as he turned his hairdryer back on.
The hairdryer was taken from his hand and Keiji looked at Koutarou surprised. The other grinned and kept his left hand on the other’s shoulder while he hummed.
“It’s no inconvenience really, rather it’s quicker!”
Keiji sighed as he tried to ignore the other’s warm fingers against his bare skin. He felt his neck grow hot by the second and he could only pray that it was because of the hairdryer. Koutarou didn’t talk which surprised Keiji, him knowing that the other had quite a talkative nature. He let it slide and offered to do Koutarou’s hair after his were done. They both remained silent during the time period.
Keiji wondered about Koutarou even more. There was so much to know about him.
Bokuto Koutarou. A year older than Keiji. Male. Bisexual. Volleyball player. Economics major. Terrible at flirting. Frequent minor mood changes. Mostly loud but some times unnaturally quiet.
He hummed a bit as the other directed him to the wet hair.
Adronitis (n.)
Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
(THE DICTIONARY OF OBSCURE SORROWS)
“Hey hey hey Akaashi!” Koutarou jogged besides Keiji, “You jog every day?”
Keiji tried to look forward instead of looking into the other’s eyes.
“Yes.” He replied quietly.
“Cool! Y’know the volleyball team also takes this path, why don’t you join…oh Kuroo!” Koutarou smiled widely as he waved his arms animatedly to the taller of them.
“Yo, you took your time.” Kuroo commented, punching Koutarou playfully on his side. His eyes found Keiji and he grinned. “Hey Akaashi kun. You’re joining us today right?”
“Wait you two know each other?” Koutarou asked glancing from Kuroo to Keiji.
Keiji shrugged as he tried to keep a neutral expression. “I’m his boyfriend’s roommate. He noticed I took this path so he invited me.”
“Damn it Kuroo, I wanted to ask him out… I mean ask him to join us. Why you do this to me bro?” Koutarou whined.
Kuroo shook his head with a cheeky smile. “Oho? Bo what is this?”
“Shut up Kuroo.” Koutarou reached up to mess his friend’s already wild hair.
“What’s up?” a high voice interrupted them and Keiji turned around to look up at their tall friend. He still reminded Keiji of the Cheshire cat, eyes full of mischievousness and the rather intimidating aura encircled him as he towered over Keiji. “New guy?”
“Leave him alone Lev.” The short guy appeared from behind the tall man. He smiled at Keiji and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, call me Yaku.”
Keiji took his hand and shook it. “Akaashi Keiji.”
“So you’re the one who stalks us from behind every morning!” Lev pointed at Keiji.
Alarm bells rung inside Keiji’s mind as he tried to come up with a response. He wanted to say no it was rather he was observing them, but that too sounded weird. He really hoped his face wasn’t giving any hint of embarrassment. The last thing he wanted was to actually look guilty.
Kuroo’s hand slapped his back lightly and he chuckled. “Give the poor guy a break Lev. He’s probably shy. Or he finds you obnoxious.”
“Hey!”
“Oh shut up you are obnoxious.” Yaku scolded Lev.
Lev huffed a little before breaking into yet another big grin. Keiji was relieved. At least he was surrounded by positive people and that was a plus. That and the fact that they did not mind Keiji being part of their group made him relax a little. Besides being accused of stalking.
“Hey hey hey! Let’s go on our run already! Where’s Sawamura and Suga?” Koutarou said in a rather loud voice.
“They’ll come soon; we don’t have to wait for them.” Yaku replied.
“Oho?” Kuroo, Lev and Koutarou broke into cheeky smiles.
“Grow up you idiots!”
If Keiji noticed any color, he noticed the gold in Koutarou’s eyes as their gazes met from time to time. Koutarou was loud and he seemed to not have grasped the concept of personal space. During the whole jog with the volleyball team, Keiji was thrown questions. Most of them were from Koutarou.
“So what do you do in your free time?”
“I write Bokuto san.”
“Cool… hey what’s your favorite color?”
“I never thought of it.”
“Really? That sounds mysterious.”
“Bo, what’s mysterious about that? Are you trying to get laid?” Kuroo sneered.
“Fuck you man I was making small talk with Akaashi.” Koutarou scowled at his friend.
“Don’t mind them.” Daichi shook his head. “Akaashi kun, if you need help with any class you can ask me.”
“Since you’re both in such a difficult course.” Koushi added with a grin.
Keiji decided to ask the team a bit as well. “Do you have more members?”
“Yeah we do, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are third years so their schedule is different.” Koutarou replied. “Our first years join us in practice. You can say our second year batch is full of enthusiastic volleyball fans.”
“And we’re the best.” Lev added.
“You’re a first year Lev.” Yaku said with a groan.
“Same thing.”
Keiji couldn’t help but smile. It was refreshing to be with this group. Loud, yes, but at the same time wonderful.
“Hey hey hey Akaashi!”
“Yes Bokuto san?”
“You look amazing when you smile.”
Keiji did a double take when he heard the words escape Koutarou’s lips. The other grinned as he jogged ahead and for a moment Keiji found himself lost. Koutarou knew how to throw someone off in a good way and Keiji found his neck getting warmer. He took a deep breath and looked ahead, ignoring the knowing smiles of the others.
Days had passed and Keiji jogged with the volleyball team. He had gotten to know them a lot better. Soon he found himself hanging around with them. He would greet Daichi in the hall or meet Koushi and Yaku at the library in the evenings. Lev would ask him if he’s seen a cat in the university grounds. Kuroo would drop by more often and his company was more intellectual alongside Kenma than with his other friends. It was a great change.
However there was one problem. Koutarou was lively as ever but he stopped with his pick up lines. Keiji waited for days, he would look at the latter’s way. Anything flirty, just anything would be fine. When two weeks passed with absolutely no sign of Koutarou being a flirt, Keiji turned to the search engine and found himself cringing through the results till he found the pickup line he was fairly satisfied with. He was not exactly happy with it. Even though Keiji had fashioned it according to his story, it still didn’t feel right.
It was like as if he had to make do with a marker instead of paint on his wall. It was there but foreign. A thought came to his mind.
Perhaps because Koutarou did not say it?
He brushed it off. He had started his story without knowing of Koutarou’s existence and he could finish it without him as well. But the thoughts piled on like snow against the door which was difficult to push away.
The new character was based off Koutarou, so of course he needed the lines and the same characteristics as him. However, it was only a character and Keiji had the power to change his own character with his imagination. Besides, Koutarou was full of surprises. At one point he would be as quiet as a hawk waiting for its prey to come out and yet at another occasion he would be as noticeable like a beam from a light house. He would highlight his presence with his voice and shenanigans. Then at times he would be in a dangerous mood like the one Keiji saw his own character in his dreams.
He would skip the morning jogs when he would be in those moods.
“He’ll get over it, takes a few days but we’ve decided to leave him at that.” Kuroo told him when questioned about Koutarou skipping on the fourth day.
“He just needs a break I guess.” Lev added, his normal Cheshire smile replaced with his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Well, at least he shows up in practice.” Koushi said with a small smile.
“His performance drops significantly though.” Daichi pointed out.
“Do you know the reason why?” Keiji asked the group. Some of them shook their heads and Kuroo patted his back.
“He gets these feelings of being worthless and all. It’s terrible and sometimes it’s so bad I feel he needs help. But he pulls out of it. Don’t worry. That’s the only worrisome side of Bo.”
“Oh, okay…” Keiji trailed off.
Bokuto Koutarou. A year older than Keiji. Male. Bisexual. Economics major. Volleyball player. Terrible flirt. Has more serious mood swings than what Keiji expected.
That night Keiji found himself writing a tragic back story on the character based on Koutarou. His pen tapped against his notebook, arrows linking relations to each character to frame the side chapter. He yawned and glanced at Kenma who was playing on the Xbox. He wondered if Koutarou was over his terrible mood swing. He remembered the color gold. Mysteriousness is what it also represented. He leaned back on his chair and rubbed his temples. It was sort of frustrating not knowing everything about Koutarou.
What kind of person was he exactly? Keiji knew people were complex and full of hidden secrets. But Koutarou seemed like a storm. Grey is what Keiji thought of when mood swings came to his mind. Koutarou in his bad days was like a thunderstorm, grey and brooding. However like the storm, his mood was temporary and then the sun would shine.
As he wrote notes and excerpts about his character he began to wonder. Why was Koutarou like this? His character had a past which Keiji had fabricated. But Koutarou was real and so near. Keiji shuddered as a terrible thought came to his mind.
Some childhood trauma masked with a carefree nature… or a happy individual living his life trying to forget his ordeals in the past… but failing at times.
He waved the thought away. Koutarou would be fine. He was still technically a stranger to Keiji and nothing more. It was best to wait and see.
The next day Koutarou bumped into him in the dorm showers. He was smiling widely as he offered to dry Keiji’s hair once more and through the shower stalls he talked cheerfully. The sound of water running echoed in the dorm showers and Koutarou’s voice easily cut through it.
Keiji rinsed his hair and sighed in relief as he heard the other make animated sounds as he described how he spiked the ball in that one practice match against that one other elite volleyball team.
“Their faces Akaashi, priceless I say, priceless!” The man echoed from his shower stall.
“That’s amazing Bokuto san.”
“I know right?!”
Carpe diem (n.)
Seize the day; enjoy the present, as opposed to placing all hope in the future.
(LATIN)
“So, who’s going to Tanaka’s party tonight?” Lev asked, the Cheshire smile returned once more.
“I can’t believe he actually got the keys to that luxury pent house near the university.” Daichi said with his brows furrowed.
Koushi laughed as he swung his hand around Daichi’s neck playfully. “His sister lives in that luxury pent house Daichi. She had to go on a business trip and Tanaka happened to get permission for throwing a party.”
“It’ll be nice to loosen up a bit.” Kuroo said as he mock punched Koutarou’s shoulder.
“Like you need to loosen up.” Yaku narrowed his eyes on the man.
“Well excuse me; I get to meet Kenma so of course I have every right to have fun tonight.”
“Hey Akaashi are you in?” Lev asked, turning around to face Keiji who was jogging at the back.
“I didn’t know about any party…”
“What!” Koutarou exclaimed. “You don’t know about Tanaka’s party? Man Akaashi get your head out of the books sometimes! You absolutely have to come.” He had somehow inched closer to Keiji and Keiji found himself slowing down more.
“I don’t know…” Keiji trailed off. He had never been invited to parties. Correction, he did not go to the parties he was invited in. School work seemed more important and the idea of getting drunk never really appealed to him.
“Come on Akaashi kun, just one night. You don’t have any tests this week right?” Koushi said with an almost knowing smile.
“I have a calculus test…” Keiji tried to excuse himself.
“Which got postponed to next week right? Noya san is in your class if I remembered correctly.” Lev interrupted.
Keiji swallowed uneasily as he remembered the noisy short man with the blond streak. “It must have slipped my mind.”
“Come on Akaashi!” Koutarou bounced next to him.
Keiji decided to give in. Maybe one night won’t hurt. Even Kenma was going. Perhaps it was worth it.
“I’ll come.”
“Yay! Akaashi we’ll have so much fun! You have to dance with the Bokuto bot!” Koutarou cheered as he pulled Keiji into a big hug.
“Bokuto bot?” Keiji asked, “What?” his voice was muffled because of being pressed against Koutarou’s jacket.
The group broke into hearty laughter.
“Oh man…” Kuroo wheezed. “He still calls himself that.”
“Shut up bro, you love all my moves.” Koutarou huffed out; a playful smirk on his face appearing in the next second.
“You did do the economics work you were procrastinating on?” Kuroo asked, poking Koutarou’s side. Keiji was released from the other’s hold as he swore.
“Shit! I completely forgot! God I can’t drink too much tonight then, hell I’ll even leave early!”
His statement was greeted with a lot of ‘boos’ and ‘chill man’ from the others but Koutarou shook his head.
“This assignment is important and I can’t work in a hangover. Tried that last year and failed miserably. Nope.”
Keiji noted the change in Koutarou’s character all of a sudden. Just a minute ago he was jumping around excited and now his brows were furrowed as they jogged ahead, as if deep in thought. Was he thinking about how to do both?
“Bokuto san?”
Koutarou looked at him in surprise and then he laughed. “I really can’t get out of this one. Man, I was really looking forward to partying all night. Economics you bastard.”
“Maybe this will teach you to not procrastinate.” Daichi muttered.
Keiji looked into his reflection once more. After going through his closet he decided to settle on a simple black, V neck, long sleeved shirt along with denim jeans. He decided to roll up his sleeves to look more casual. He wasn’t able to write the whole day. After classes he couldn’t stop thinking about the party. What kind of people would be there? Was it a mixed gathering or only guys? How much should he drink?
“Stop thinking so much.”
Keiji turned around to see Kenma standing behind him, wearing black pants and a red polo shirt. He smiled at Keiji before speaking,
“It’s just a party, just have fun. No one really judges.”
“I never thought you attended many parties.” Keiji blurted out. He wanted to slap himself. He never says something out of the blue. Was it nervousness? He blamed it on being nervous.
Kenma shrugged. “I guess. Shouyou and Tetsurou always pull me into them.” He bit his lower lip before adding, “Mostly Shouyou.”
A loud knock interrupted them and Keiji opened their room’s door. Outside, the said ‘Shouyou’, a short boy with wild orange hair stood grinning up at him.
“Is Kenma ready?” He asked.
“Yeah, come on in.” Keiji made way for the red head to enter.
“Kenma what are you wearing?!” Shouyou exclaimed in disappointment.
“Clothes.” Kenma muttered before he turned his attention to his phone.
“No, no, no. Class it up. Where is your black jacket?” Shouyou opened up Kenma’s cupboard and went through it.
“I don’t want to wear it.” Kenma scowled.
Shouyou took out a black denim jacket with a ripped sleeves design. “You will wear it because it’s practical and stylish.” He threw it in the fake blond’s direction who caught it and began to wear it slowly while shooting daggers in his friend’s direction.
The red head’s eyes found Keiji standing there and he grinned. “Akaashi san, are you going to Tanaka san’s place as well?”
“Yes.” Keiji replied.
Shouyou studied him a bit and shook his head. “Okay, why are you not wearing any bling?”
Keiji blinked. “Bling?”
“Yeah, like bracelets and a nice watch maybe. You can’t go in with your nice arms bare.” Shouyou emphasized on the last word. “Wait, where are your accessories? Any piercings?”
Keiji shook his head as a no and opened his side drawer to take out a silver watch. “Will this do?” He showed it to Shouyou who gave him a thumbs up.
“It’ll do… and shoes?”
Keiji pointed to his black loafers to which Shouyou shook his head again.
“Look,” He began as he opened up Keiji’s cupboard without permission, “When we go to a party, especially parties like this one, we dress to impress.”
Kenma clicked his tongue in annoyance and he groaned. “Here we go again…”
Shouyou ignored him and glanced back at Keiji. “It’s like…you meet someone and BAM.” He animatedly flung his hands around as he searched for the words. “They don’t forget you ever. Appearance is the key. Try these instead.” He placed Keiji’s red sneakers to the side.
Keiji didn’t know how to respond. He never really expected to be lectured on clothing by Kenma’s best friend. Then again with Shouyou’s helpful and bright nature, it was probably a given.
“Thank you for your help,” Keiji said as he picked up the shoes.
“Meh, I try. I mean you have to show off once in a while.” Shouyou laughed as he shuffled with his own jacket.
“Showing off to Kageyama that is.” Kenma said in a dead pan voice before he began to put on his shoes.
“S..shut up! I try to but… he’s so dense! I’m going to catch his attention this time! I’ll buy you a drink if I get him to kiss me tonight!” Shouyou rambled out.
“You’re not that type though Hinata kun.” Keiji offered as he finished tying his laces.
“Just be yourself, I don’t want a drink anyways.” Kenma waved off. “Besides your appearance screams pay attention to me and all…” He eyed Shouyou’s slightly rolled up jeans, the yellow shirt with bold black ‘Howzzat!’ printed and red jacket.
“Whatever, let’s go.” Shouyou huffed out.
Keiji couldn’t help but smile a little as the two short friends walked ahead of him, one of them quiet as if he never wanted to be noticed while the other loudly speaking and telling stories of practice and how dense this Kageyama really was.
Hinata Shouyou, Keiji found out, was also in the volleyball team as a first year. He talked about how cool his seniors were and he would mimic moves which he claimed were the best he had ever seen in the volleyball matches. He reminded Keiji of a tiny Koutarou, lively as ever.
Upon entering the penthouse, they were greeted with people dancing and loud music drowning the conversations. Shouyou grabbed Kenma’s hand and they made their way to the music system. Keiji stayed near the entrance and studied the new environment he was in. The lights were dimmed and he couldn’t quite make out the people present.
A group of people broke out laughing loudly, a guy stumbled into the main lounge and a couple was making out in the side. Keiji glanced around nervously, hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do. He could dance but on looking towards the main dancing, seeing hands exploring waists and hips, people grinding, sharing swift kisses, Keiji decided he wasn’t really cut out for dancing anyways.
He could use this party as a scene for his story though. He imagined a bar full of strange and interesting aliens, the main character getting intoxicated, lowering their guard. An attractive individual approaches them and offers them another drink to which they accept. They get tipsy and tell their new attractive friend about the plans to infiltrate the dynasty’s head quarters. The individual is actually an undercover dynasty soldier. The main character would be in a pinch further ahead but unaware of this as they enjoy-
“Hey, hey, hey Akaashi!”
Keiji pulled away from his imagination as he turned to face Koutarou who jumped towards him. He was followed by Kuroo and another man with a shaved head. All of them were holding drinks.
“Hello.” Keiji greeted.
“Yo Tanaka!” Koutarou shouted through the music, “This is our new pal Akaashi, we invited him, the poor dude doesn’t know about partying man!” He mocked wiping a tear as Tanaka sneered at him.
“Nice to meet ya!” Tanaka extended his free hand which Keiji shook. “Akaashi san huh? The name’s Tanaka Ryunsuke, welcome!”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I came uninvited though.” Keiji said shuffling his feet a bit.
Tanaka laughed. “Oh my god you’re in need of this.” He handed his cup to Keiji. “I haven’t drunk from it; go ahead, you need it in your system. Loosen up!”
“Well, Akaashi kun, I’m off to find Kenma. Have fun ‘kay.” Kuroo said, taking a sip from his cup. “And you,” He punched Koutarou lightly, “No more drinks than four. You have an assignment remember.”
“Go find your Kenma, I know my limit bro.” Koutarou grinned and swung his arm around Keiji’s shoulders. “Akaashi, let’s meet new people shall we? That’s a first in any party.”
Keiji nodded and took a sip. He scrunched his nose. Besides the faint orange taste it had a strong taste of alcohol…vodka maybe? Keiji wanted to put his cup aside somewhere. He did not want to drink that. Koutarou must have noticed his face as he began to speak.
“Heh, it tastes bad at first but then you really don’t notice it later. When you’re dancing it off and all,” He waved at a couple of girls near the counter and steered Keiji towards their direction, “Say have you ever had anything alcoholic before?”
“I’ve had champagne a few times at new years eve.” Keiji replied, with his voice raised so that Koutarou could hear.
“Ah never had a tequila shot before?”
“…no.”
“So are you straight or homo or what? Like we can hook you up with someone if you want. If Kuroo holds a party it’s like full gay but Tanaka’s straight so a bigger crowd you know,” Koutarou finished the last of his drink, “With more people to know. So here’s where you can find someone.”
Keiji looked at Koutarou seriously. “Bokuto san, I really don’t want to hook up with some one. And as for sexuality…” He gulped down his drink regardless of how bitter it was, “I haven’t really cared about that to be honest.”
He felt Koutarou study him a little before he chuckled. “Fine, fine. Maybe we’ll find out your preferences tonight. Who knows? Come on with me.”
Koutarou removed his arm and marched towards the girls. “Ladies.” He said receiving giggles and hellos from them. He turned his head to Keiji and motioned him to come over. “This is my friend Akaashi.” He introduced Keiji who nodded awkwardly.
“Bo-ku-to…” One of the girls drawled out, “Is he your boyfriend? Quite a looker.”
“Give him a shot won’t you?” Koutarou said with a huge grin.
He was handed over a small glass. “Akaashi, try this. I would but…” He shrugged, “Assignment. Besides you need a little buzz right?”
Keiji eyed the glass before taking it and drank it whole. It felt as if he drank burning water. His throat felt on fire. He tried not to show his disgust and handed the glass back to Koutarou before covering his mouth. Koutarou slapped his back playfully and laughed.
“Not bad eh?”
“I guess Bokuto san…”
“Not good.” He thought to himself.
One of the girls tried to talk to him over the loud music and when he couldn’t hear her he came closer to her. He found himself leaning against the counter as a few girls who were sober enough asked him about his courses and hobbies. He was handed yet another drink in a plastic cup as he listened to the others chat.
Keiji found himself drinking the booze and he felt freer… Questions thrown to him were easily answered; his shoulders which were stiff before relaxed and he found himself laughing easily in front of strangers. Koutarou had excused himself to the main dancing and Keiji found himself tapping his feet to the music.
He could use this scene well, he thought, as he observed strangers and not so strangers dance and stumble about. He noticed Kuroo and Kenma in the corner, Kuroo’s hands on Kenma’s hips as they tried to sway to the beat and kiss at the same time. He saw the flurry of orange hair and a tall raven haired man holding each other from the sides as they walked out of the main lounge to some other area of the house. Lev was seen trying to pick up an angry Yaku.
“Fun…” Keiji muttered as he finished his fourth cup? He didn’t quite remember. One of the girls grabbed his hand and pulled him into the dance floor. It was cramped near the music system and as the girl began to dance, Keiji spotted white and black hair. He found his eyes following the hair and he left the girl and made way through the sweaty and buzzed crowd.
How would Koutarou’s character act in here? Keiji wondered as he shuffled through people, following Koutarou’s hair which was peeking up from time to time. His thoughts began to jumble. It was dark and lively. What color would suit this atmosphere?
“Emerald… no orange…” Keiji muttered as he finally found Koutarou. “Gold…”
“Broooo why not?” Tanaka slurred his words as he tried to stop Koutarou. “We’re just starting th’games!”
“Dude, I love the party. I really want to get hammered and all but I can’t fail this class.” Koutarou replied.
“Fuck you.” Tanaka spat at him and staggered away mumbling things which Koutarou didn’t understand.
“Found you Bokuto bot!” Keiji shouted through the music as he grabbed Koutarou’s arm.
“Huh? Akaashi?” Koutarou’s eyes widened as he studied Keiji.
“Dance…” Keiji said before breaking into giggles. His hands were on Koutarou’s shoulders and he began to move his hips. Keiji looked up from his lashes to meet the taller man’s gaze who swallowed uneasily. He seemed to be too confused for words.
“Akaashi, how much did you drink?” Koutarou asked while his hands found Keiji’s waist.
“Bokuto bot.” Keiji studied his face as he said the words slowly, his fingers trailing up Koutarou’s neck to his hair.
“Okay… you clearly are drunk.” Koutarou stated as he pushed Keiji away gently and took his hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
Keiji giggled as they walked out of the main door. Koutarou was acting weird as they crossed the streets to somewhere. Probably the university dorms. Keiji kept glancing towards the man besides him, breaking into smiles. He looked so unreal. His hair spiked that way, broad shoulders and a slight pinkness dusted on his cheeks. It was as if his character was brought to life- save the feathers- his gold eyes glittering despite the darkness of the night whenever he glanced at him.
“You know, I would have left you there… but I felt as if you’re the type to regret. Hell I regretted it, I think I slept with a person the first time I partied, no pants and all when I woke up but no… person. Still don’t know who it was.” He chuckled and looked at Keiji.
He was real, Keiji thought to himself. His character was here with him holding his hands. Talking with his brows furrowed, the crinkles in his forehead to the lining of his lips, the gleam in his eyes, he was perfect. Not only was he perfect but he was all Keiji’s.
Keiji stopped in his steps and Koutarou looked at him questioningly.
“What’s wrong Akaashi?”
Keiji was so lucky, this man before him was perfect and all-
“Mine.” Keiji breathed out and then giggled.
“Huh?”
He slipped his hands out of Koutarou’s and cupped the other man’s face, lowering it till their noses brushed.
“You’re perfect and you’re aaallll miiiinee.” Keiji slurred and he broke out into a silent laugh.
“I see…” Koutarou stiffened a little at first but then he smiled, “You look really nice today Akaashi.”
Keiji broke into a yawn and his hands found Koutarou’s waist and his head rested on the other man’s shoulder.
“I’m so lucky…” Keiji mumbled before his eyes drooped.
Bokuto Koutarou. Male. Economics major. Bisexual. Terrible flirt. Volleyball player. Get’s a range of minor to terrible mood swings.
And he's all Keiji's.