Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jim Kirk was fourteen years old when he went to rob an innocent family’s home for food.

It was nothing he hadn’t done before. It was nothing half the damn colony hadn’t done before. So he tried not to feel any guilt about it. Tried not to think about how his eating meant other people going hungry. Tried to ignore that little voice in his head that said he was valuing his life as worth more than those of other people, and that was straight-up illogical, heinous, immoral, exactly what Kodos was doing—

No. He wasn’t like Kodos because he wasn’t going to be selfish about it. Because he wasn’t valuing his life above strangers’, he was valuing the lives of the eight kids back at camp above those of whatever tiny family lived here, and that was just simple math.

Logical. Rational. He would be blameless.

He wondered how many times Kodos had said that exact same thing to himself.

The second he stepped through the front door, he was immediately overcome by the stench of death. It was old and stale and thick in the air. It hit him like a wave, almost powerful enough to knock him back.

A young couple lay on the ground in the livingroom, a broken jar of salsa shattered between them. They’d killed each fighting over it.

A baby wailed.

Jim’s heart dropped to his stomach.

Blood pounding in his ears, he followed the sound until he came to a nursery. He knocked lightly on the door, then shook his head at his own absurdity and walked in.

The baby was in a crib just under a window, trying to kick a pastel blanket off but instead tangling themselves further in it.

Jim smiled slightly.

“Jim,” Tamara asked. “What is that?”

“A baby,” he said calmly.

“It’s green,” Kevin said.

“Yeah, it’s an Orion,” Jim smiled slightly.

“Jim, you know you can’t keep that thing, right?” Tom asked.

“Why not?”

“What’s it gonna eat, first of all?”

“It can have half of my food.”

“Jim…” Dani started, concern clear in her big, wide eyes.

Tom sighed and rubbed his face. “We aren’t gonna let you do that. We’ll… we’ll figure out a way.”

“Tom—“ Tamara started.

“No, it’s fine,” he said with a grin. “What’s one more mouth to feed?”

Rescue came one year later, and by then the baby was maybe possibly one and a half or two or somewhere in there. She was toddling about and babbling and learning more complicated ways of talking.

Jim taught her patty cake and she went wild.

He had decided her name was Devyn, which was the only Orion name he knew.

The first thing the doctors try to do is take her away.

Jim was a kicking, screaming, hissing mess, throwing punches and kicks at every doctor who came near, until one stabbed him in the neck with a hypospray and the next thing he knew, he was restrained to a biobed, Devyn nowhere in sight.

He started crying.

He was just barely sixteen when he got out of the hospital and the first thing he did was apply for emancipation and adoption of Devyn and Kevin, whose whole family had been killed. It was technically legally plausible for an emancipated sixteen-year-old to adopt. Usually it was only done if the not-minor was financially stable and had a place to live and was adopting their younger siblings due to extenuating circumstances.

He was rejected.

He applied again under Orion law, where sixteen is the age of majority. Either Orions age different or they just don’t give a shit, but either way, it worked out in Jim’s favor and he was allowed to adopt Devyn.

He clicked open the notification immediately, a broad smile spreading across his face as he read.

“What’s it say?” Kevin asked.

His smile broke. “Oh, Kevin, I’m so sorry. But… Um, Orions don’t have any authority over human adoptions. I could—I could only get Devyn.”

Kevin’s face crumbled. A second later, the tears started, and the child hugged Jim tightly, burrowing into his leather jacket.

“Jim, what the hell?!” Winona shrieked. “You adopted an Orion?”

“Yeah?” he said defensively. “So?”

“You’re sixteen! You don’t know the first thing about raising kids! You are a kid!”

“I was a kid back on Tarsus and I did just fine there!”

“Yeah, in an emergency situation! It’ll be a hell of a lot different when she’s teething and needs her diaper changed and wakes you up every half hour and you have no adrenaline to keep you going.”

He laughed acidly. “Mom, she’s almost fucking two. I already did the teething and the diapers and the lack of sleep. I was in Tarsus for the long haul; it wasn’t like the famine just ended six months in. In fact, I bet I had it hell of a lot harder than you did. What would you have done if you had to find bugs and worms to clean and grind up into baby food? What would you have done if there was no way to just replicate a fucking fresh diaper whenever you needed one?”

She rolled her eyes. “You act like you’re so superior, Jimmy. That’s why you get in so many fights, you know. And that’s another thing! You really think your lifestyle is suitable for raising a kid in?”

“What do you mean, my lifestyle?”

“What happens after the fight you don’t recover from, Jimmy? When you come home drunk at three a.m. and forget you even have a daughter? You can’t bring some constant parade of men, women, and aliens home with you when you have a child in the next room.”

Blinding red filled Jim’s vision. “You really think I would do that?” he asked.

Her silence and glare answered for her.

“I’m not fucking Frank, Mom,” he said. “When do you ship out next?”

She scoffed and flipped him off, storming out of the room.

She was gone three days later.

He got a job as a bartender and hired a really good babysitter that he trusted in his gut.

Devyn had wild, curly black hair that bounced when she ran. She looked particularly alien dressed in human clothes.

When he took her out places, people assumed Jim was her babysitter. Next guess was adoptive brother. Then they would awkwardly ask where his um, uh, girlfriend? was.

He became used to a very specific judgmental look when he explained that he was Devyn’s father.

Cadets come to the bar a lot. After all, it’s right next to the shipyard.

One night, four guys started harassing this one girl who was having none of it and neither was Jim, and ten minutes later, Jim was on his back on a table, a fist slamming into him over and over, the only sound in the shocked-silent bar.

Then someone let out the loudest whistle Jim had ever heard in his life.

“You know, I looked up your file while you were drooling on the floor. Your aptitude tests were off the charts, so what is it? You like being the only genius-level bartender in the Midwest?”

He gave a wry smile. “I have a kid.”

Still didn’t seem to get it.

“She’s eleven.”

Aaaand the eyebrows shot up.

But Pike recovered quickly and took it in stride. “Okay. So you have a kid way too young. You can settle for a less than ordinary life. Or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special?” he said. “Make your kid proud. Enlist in Starfleet.”

“Enli—“ He almost choked on his laugh. “You guys must be way down on your recruiting quota for the month.”

“It takes someone special to do what you’ve done, Jim. Starfleet could use you,” he said. “You could be an officer in four years. You could have your own ship in eight. You understand what Starfleet is, don’t you? It’s important. It’s a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada.”

“We done?” he asked.

“I’m done. Riverside Shipyard. The shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow at 0800,” he said, rising. “You know, your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. During that time, he saved 800 lives, including that of his newborn child. I dare you to do better.”

Chapter Text

“Say, do you have a roommate yet?” Bones asked as they stepped off the shuttle together.

“Nah. I’m assigned to the family dorms? I’ve got a daughter.”

Bones eyes lit up. “Really? Me too. Maybe we can get up together for a playdate sometime.”

“Uhh, she’s not really the right age for playdates.”

“Oh, is she just a little bean yet?” he asked, eyes softening even further. Sensing Jim’s hesitation, he added, “Don’t worry, kid, I won’t judge you. I had mine way too young too. I was only twenty-six when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant.”

Jim, age twenty-five, physically winced. “Um. My daughter’s eleven.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

Jim didn’t dare look Bones’ way. He could safely say that was the fastest beginning and end to a friendship he ever had.

Bones slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m your roommate now.”

Devyn and Bones had started an intense stare-down the second they met each other. If Jim didn’t know for a fact that they both came from psi-null species, he would assume there was a telepathic conversation going on over his head.

“So you’re going to be living with us,” Devyn said.

“That’s correct,” Bones nodded.

“Why?”

He met her gaze defiantly. “You two children need adult supervision.”

“Hey!” Jim snapped.

“Dad does a great job raising me, thanks,” Devyn snarked. She had recently discovered sarcasm and taken to it like a fish to water.

“Hey now, I didn’t mean no offense. But you could use some help, couldn’t you?”

“Yeah? And why are you offering?”

What did Jim do to raise such a cynical and suspicious preteen?

Actually, scratch that. He should’ve expected that. She was his daughter, after all. And growing up in Riverside hadn’t exactly been a basket of kittens. Jim had had to resist the urge to punch budding young xenophobes on more than one occasion.

“I got a daughter of my own,” Bones said. “She’s five. Wife got sole custody in the divorce and now I never get to see her. So maybe I’m a sucker, but I wanna help make sure you two get a shot at what I never will.”

Devyn stared at him for a long moment.

She turned and nodded to Jim. “He can stay.”

Jim first spots Gaila in Advanced Computer Coding.

He practically sprints to catch up with her after the class lets out.

“Hey!” he says excitedly.

He immediately realizes he has no clue what to say after that.

“Hey,” Gaila says, smiling fondly.

“I’m Jim,” he says, sticking out his hand.

“I’m Gaila,” she replies. “Why are you doing that with your hand?”

“Oh! It’s a human greeting ritual. Called a handshake. You’re supposed to hold hands with the other person and then shake them up and down slightly. Like this.”

He takes Gaila’s hand in his own and demonstrates slowly.

“Hm. Sexy.”

He blanches. “What?”

She blushes. “Oh, no, it’s Orion slang! We use it like humans use… It means good or awesome or neat. Something like that.”

“Oh,” he said, weirdly relieved. He never thought he would see the day when someone called a handshake sexy. “Humans do have a word like that. It’s ‘cool’.”

“Cool,” Gaila said, trying it out. “Gotta say, the Orion version is easier to figure out. I didn’t even know humans liked the cold.”

“We don’t, really.”

“Then why…?”

“I don’t know, we’re pretty stupid,” he shrugged, and she laughed. “Okay, so. I have an idea. My daughter’s an Orion—“

Gaila instantly shutters off, wariness and almost fear covering her features.

“No, no, it’s not like that. She was an orphan I adopted,” Jim said, and Gaila seems like she can breathe again. “And anyway, I was wondering if we could come up with a trade of sorts? I’ll teach you about human culture if you teach her about Orion. I’ve always tried to do it myself, but there’s only so much you can learn from books, ya know?”

And it was damn hard to find those books. They were few and far between when you searched for them. Jim had to spend hours wading through porn that made him uncomfortable, racist vitriol, and very concerning ‘ads.’ All he’d really managed to learn was that Orion was a pretty thoroughly sexist society, enforced slavery, and was not unlike the Ferengi when it came to business.

It really says something about the Federation’s reliance on stereotypes that the first thing that pops up when you search ‘Orion culture’ is a bunch of porn sites. Almost any other species and you get actual results.

She smiles warmly. “I’d love to.”

He doesn’t tell Devyn about Gaila until she’s literally walking into their dorm.

The girl drops her astronomy textbook and her jaw.

“Devyn, this is Gaila. Gaila, Devyn.”

“Mumnoo ne holohala,” Gaila said, bowing her head. Devyn looked fit to burst.

Gaila smiled gently. “It means ‘hello’ in Kolari. I mean, I guess literally, it means ‘may the sun shine brightly on you,’ but it’s used as the standard greeting.”

“Mumnoo ne holohala,” Devyn said. “May the sun shine brightly on you.”

She was beaming, a light of hopeful excitement in her eyes. Jim couldn’t help but smile too.

Gaila looked over to Jim. “I only speak Low Orion. I hope that’s okay?”

“That’s perfect,” he said.

She smiled and sat down on the couch next to Devyn. Jim took the seat across from them, figuring he should probably learn as much about his daughter’s native culture as he could. Devyn pulled up a notes sheet on a padd and wrote down the translation for mumnoo ne holohala.

“What’s your last name?” Gaila asked.

“Kirk,” Devyn said.

“Devyn, of the House of Kirk. In Kolari, it is Kirkkar Devyn.”

“What’s your name in Orion? I mean, Kolari?” Devyn asked.

“Just Gaila. I have no House. My parents sold me to the fesin when I was five.”

Jim had worked very hard to shield Devyn from the worst of the stereotypes about Orions. That all of them were slaves or pirates. That the women were little more than animals constantly begging to be fucked. That their pheromones meant they were asking for it, forcing men to be uncontrollably attracted to them.

He had lost count of how many times over the years he had said that not all Orion girls were slave girls.

So of course the first other actual Orion she met was a former slave girl.

“Oh,” Devyn said. She bit her lip. “So, um… uh—“

Gaila smiled gently, bless her. “It’s okay. I’m out now and that’s all that matters. Now. How about we get started with some basic vocabulary?”

Chapter Text

Jim learns a lot about Orion culture over the next three years. He learns that they used to worship the sun and it still holds an extremely significant place in their culture. He learns that their language sounds very flowery and poetic and is really good for swearing, arguing, and deceiving.

He learns that they have no cultural taboo against lying and it becomes a Huge Debate for over a month. Bones threatens to move out eight times.

He learns that they value love and power above all else. That the slave girls’ pheromones work in such a way that they often end up in the position of giving their “masters” orders. That their society is actually matriarchal and this is their most closely guarded secret.

Gaila makes him swear not even to tell Bones. Devyn walks just a little bit taller that day.

“Dad!” Devyn calls, running out of her room. Her eyes were wide and her skin a pale celery color. “I’m-I’m bleeding. There’s blood on my bed.”

Oh, shit, he forgot about periods.

Also he had sorta hoped that maybe that was just a human thing so he wouldn’t have to talk to her about it.

And then he catches a strong whiff of something that makes his dick interested and he feels sick to his stomach.

Devyn has started producing pheromones.

“Kid, I’m not giving your daughter the talk for you.”

“But you’re a doctor,” Jim said. “Isn’t that somewhere in your job description?”

“Being your personal sex ed instructor? No, no it isn’t,” he said. “For Christ’s sakes, Jim, the girl’s fourteen. Why’d you put this off for so long?”

“You have no idea how intensely I don’t wanna have this talk with her.”

“Oh, I think I do.” Bones thrust a box of tampons into his hands, and Jim stared at them dumbly. “Be sure to talk to her about pheromone suppressants. They aren’t a necessity, but they are an option.”

By the time Jim’s finished talking, his face is bright red and Devyn’s is about the shade of a cucumber.

“So there ya have it,” he finished lamely. He had never felt so thoroughly unprepared for parenthood as he did in this moment. No one had ever given him the talk. But then, he had been on Tarsus since he was thirteen.

It was sort of amazing really, how different their lives had turned out. When Jim had been Devyn’s age, he had been starving and doing anything to survive and keep nine other kids alive with him. He hadn’t known if he was going to eat the next day. If he was going to live to see the next day.

Devyn sat comfortably on a plush couch in San Francisco, arguably the safest city on Earth, in the heart of the Federation. She had told Jim over lunch that she was worried about her algebra test coming up, and she sort of had a crush on one of the girls at school.

So maybe he had done almost alright by her, so far.

“So, um,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Any questions?”

She shook her head fervently, snatched up the box of tampons, and made a mad dash to the bathroom.

Oh.

“Hey, Kirk,” Finnegan called out. “Saw you around campus the other day with an Orion girl. Care to give me her number?”

“She’s fucking fourteen, you sick freak.”

He shrugged. “So? They’re Orions, man, they age differently. Besides, that chick was practically soaked in pheromones, so that means she’s an adult enough. I’d be doing her a service, really.”

“Kirk, you can’t assault fellow students,” Pike said wearily, rubbing his temples.

“I was provoked,” Jim hissed.

“Oh, I’m sure you were,” he said. “I mean, if you weren’t, then that’d mean you had serious psychiatric issues. Which I’m still not convinced you don’t. You broke three of Finnegan’s ribs, dislocated his shoulder, and nearly bashed his skull in. He could have died, Kirk. You wanna go to jail for murder?”

“No, sir.”

Pike leaned. “Okay then. You wanna at least tell me why he isn’t pressing charges?”

“That has to do with the circumstances under which I was provoked, sir, and our deal was I’d keep it a secret.”

“Kirk, tell me you aren’t blackmailing this man.”

“I’m not!”

“What’d he do to provoke you?”

Jim opened his mouth. Shut it. Sighed. “Well, since I have no choice,” he said cheerily, and Pike was instantly suspicious.

And then Jim told him. And Pike handled it.

Devyn started wearing more conservative clothing. Longer, covering more skin. Jim knew San Francisco was a bit colder than the Orions’ jungle-covered homeworld, but it wasn’t that big a difference. And the change was… sudden.

She still got plenty of long and inappropriate stares, and Jim got to practice his best stern and disapproving glare on a tone of strangers.

She came out her room one day dressed in her normal shorts and a t-shirt.

“I want to go on pheromone suppressants,” she said.

Jim set down his cup of coffee slowly and gestured for her to join him and Bones at the table.

“Are you sure this is what you want, sunshine? You don’t have to do anything just because other people are acting funny. That’s on them, not on you.”

“I’m sure,” she said.

“Pheromone suppressants come with some side effects,” Bones said.

“Aunt Gaila takes them and she’s fine.”

“She’s been on them a long time, sunshine. And she’s an adult.”

“They’ll affect you differently than they do her. The suppressants run roughshod all over your hormones and make ‘em go completely haywire. You’re just a teenager, so your hormones are already a mess.”

“I want them,” she said. “What are the side effects?”

“Severe and sudden mood swings, headaches, and nausea is common while your body is first getting used to them,” Bones said.

“The nausea will fade, but the headaches and mood swings, those’ll stay?”

He nodded. “Though the symptoms will get less intense over time. Or at least more manageable.”

“Sweetie, I don’t want you to feel pressured into possibly hurting yourself just because men are shit. Are you sure this is what you want?” Jim asked.

She nodded. “I’m sure.”

The first three weeks were agony.

Devyn would cry and clutch at her head and pull her hair and beg for Jim and Bones to make it stop, just make it stop! She got in three fights at school, two of them physical, and was sentenced to a one-week suspension.

Bones affectionately referred to that week as hell on wheels.

Devyn did not like being stuck at home, and within a day, neither did Jim and Bones. ‘Intense mood swings’ had been the understatement of a lifetime. She would go from broken sobbing to bubbly laughter in the span of a minute, and Jim was just. Fucking terrified.

And so, so confused.

She started sleeping with her old stuffed slethi, which is some bat-like predator thing. Its name was Cinnamon and she announced that it was the only thing she trusted anymore.

At one point Jim asked if these drugs were actually safe for Devyn to be taking and Bones just rolled his eyes and asked if he honestly believed Bones would do anything to harm his goddaughter.

Devyn snarled an Orion curse and ran to the bathroom to go throw up.

Jim frowned.

Chapter Text

“Hm. Whatcha studying for?” Gaila asked, looping her arms around Jim from behind. She was a very affectionate person, both physically and emotionally. She had implied that it was an Orion thing.

“The Kobayashi Maru,” he said.

“You’re taking it again?”

“I’m gonna pass this time!”

She scoffed. “If you cheat, maybe. Hey! You want me to help you cheat?”

He flicked the padd off. “Oh, hell yeah.”

They worked on the code in Gaila’s dorm, because Bones would disapprove and Jim didn’t want Devyn to think cheating was okay. Do as I say, not as I do and all that.

It became a daily thing, sneaking off together between classes to slip away into Gaila’s dorm to work on their secret illicit project.

Naturally, rumors spread.

The main one was that everyone just assumed right off the bat they were sleeping together. Some people even went as far as to say Devyn was their secret lovechild. Next on the list was that Jim was actually an Orion pirate and he was both girls’ pimp. Others were that he was blackmailing Gaila, that Devyn was her sister and Jim was holding her captive to use against her.

Some of them were so horrifying that Jim was actually grateful the most popular one was just people thinking Gaila was Devyn’s mom.

It was kind of sweet actually, and Gaila laughed when she first heard about it, and Devyn jokingly called her Mom and asked Jim when he was going to propose already.

Then a week later she really did call Gaila Mom by accident and blushed greener than Jim had ever seen her, but Gaila just hugged her, smiling, and kissed the top of her head.

Jim didn’t really know how to react when Gaila kissed him.

His eyes were the size of saucers and his lips were stiff and nonresponsive.

Gaila pulled back. “I-I’m sorry, is this okay?”

His throat felt like it was closed up entirely and his heart was beating like a jackhammer. He couldn’t screw this up. He couldn’t ruin what he had with Gaila. She was too important. To him and to Devyn.

Wordless, he nodded.

She grinned and looped an arm around his neck, tugging him down on top of her.

Jim hadn’t done this in a while—in years, actually, not since he came to the Academy. But he knew the motions, knew what to do to get Gaila squirming and writhing and near-naked beneath him.

“Jim,” she moaned. “I love you.”

“This is too weird,” he said instantly, obviously not thinking first.

Gaila froze, and then pushed him off and sat up. “Lights,” she called out. “Jim? What do you mean, ‘this is too weird’?”

“I—“ he started.

“Did you not actually want to sleep with me?”

He swallowed. “Gaila. I love you too, I really do. But just… not like that.”

She pursed her lips and nodded, looking down.

“Hey.” He tilted her chin up to meet his eyes. “I love you. You’re an amazing person and any guy would be lucky to be with you. I’m just not the right one.”

She quirked her lips wryly. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I knew that. It’s just—you’re the first guy I’ve met who didn’t treat me like… like an Orion whore.”

Jim opened his mouth to say something, to reassure her that she was so much more than that, when Gaila gasped and turned to the door.

“Oh my god, my roommate!” she said.

“I thought you said she was gone for the night,” Jim whisper-hissed.

“Obviously she’s not. Quick, get under the bed. Take the padd. She can’t see the code.”

“Can’t we just—“

“Now!”

Jim grabbed the padd and scrambled underneath Gaila’s bed.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How are you?” Gaila asked sweetly. Was it normal for her to lounge around in her underwear? Was that a thing that women did?

“Good,” her roommate said. Jim saw a flash of polished cadet boots approaching. “Ugh, the strangest thing. I was in the long-range sensor lab—“

“Yeah, I-I thought all night.”

“I was supposed to be. I was tracking solar systems and then I picked up an emergency transmission.”

“Really?”

Okay, her roommate was definitely undressing now and how was Jim ever going to get out of this situation? He stared pointedly at the floor beneath him, feeling like a pervert.

He couldn’t just walk out now. He would have to wait until the roommate left first.

What if she didn’t leave until morning? What if Jim died here, under Gaila’s bed, the victim of the dumbest plan ever conceived? Why the hell hadn’t Gaila just let him walk out of here normally and let her roommate assume they were sleeping together like everyone else already did?

She was going to hear about this. And then she was going to laugh at his misery, he just knew it.

“Yeah. Klingon prison planet.”

“No,” Gaila said in disbelief.

“There was an escape. A prisoner got away and stole a ship.”

“Sooo, you’re not going back to the lab tonight?”

The roommate paused and turned around. “Gaila, who is he?”

“Who is who?” she asked innocently.

“The mouth-breather hiding under your bed.”

Jim scrambled out and to his feet. “You could hear me breathing?”

“You?!” the roommate asked.

“Oh hey, I recognize you. You’re that girl from the bar that night.”

She blinked. “Uh, yeah. I am. Thanks for that, by the way. Sorry those guys were douches.”

“Eh, it’s no big deal.”

And now all three of them were standing around in their underwear, staring at each other.

Jim had the brief, insane thought that this was not at all what he thought adulthood would be like.

“Big day tomorrow,” he said.

Uhura flashed a grin and rolled her eyes affectionately. “You’re gonna fail.”

He picked up his clothes from the floor with as much dignity as he could muster. “We’ll see.”

“We’re receiving a distress signal from the USS Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them,” Uhura said pleasantly.

“Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue them… Captain,” Jim said dramatically. She gave him a dry look. Bones rolled his eyes.

“Two Klingon vessels have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us,” he said, from where he was pretending to be a pilot.

“That’s okay.”

“That’s okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” he said.

“Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and targeting our ship. I don’t suppose this is a problem either?” Bones said.

“They’re firing, Captain.”

“Alert medical bay to prepare to receive all crewmembers from the damaged ship,” Kirk said.

“And how do you expect us to rescue them when we’re surrounded by Klingons, Captain?” Uhura asked.

“Alert medical.” He smiled.

“Our ship’s being hit. Shields at 60%,” Bones said.

“I understand.”

“Should we—I don’t know—fire back?” he asked.

“Nah.” He crunched into an apple.

“Of course not,” Bones muttered.

Everything powered down and malfunctioned all at once. And then it powered back up.

“Hm. Arm photons, prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds,” Jim said.

“Jim, their shields are still up.”

“Are they?”

He looked back to his console. “No. They’re not.”

“Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do. Let’s not waste ammunition.”

“Target locked and acquired on all warbirds. Firing,” the ‘navigator’ said. “All enemy ships destroyed, Captain.”

“Begin rescue of the stranded crew,” Jim said, standing. It was always best to be standing when you were about to make a grandiose proclamation. Unless you were sitting on a throne, which is the only exception. “So, we’ve managed to destroy all enemy ships, no one on board was injured, and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is underway. I’d consider that success.”

Chapter Text

“Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you’ve violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet Code,” the dean said. “Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?”

“Yes. I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly?”

The dean nodded, and a professor in an extremely slim-fitting black uniform stood and adjusted his tunic.

“Step forward please.”

The professor stood at the podium beside Kirk’s, and Jim noticed now that he was closer that the guy was Vulcan. Great. His arguments on why Jim was a bag of shit would probably have bulletproof logic.

Well, Jim was nothing if not up for a challenge.

“This is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished graduates. He’s programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years.”

And he was the Academy’s golden boy on top of it all. Of course. Jim was sure there would be no bias in this hearing at all.

At least Devyn wasn’t here to listen to her dad get fucking eviscerated by ruthless Vulcan logic.

“Commander?” the dean said.

“Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test.”

“Your point being?” he asked.

“In academic vernacular, you cheated,” the dean said.

“Let me ask you something I think we all know the answer to, the test itself is a cheat, isn’t it? You programmed it to be unwinnable.”

“Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario,” the commander said.

“I don’t believe in no-win scenarios.”

“Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principal lesson.”

“Please, enlighten me.”

“You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk. A captain cannot cheat death.”

Cool rage built slowly in his chest.

“I of all people?” he asked. He dared the Vulcan to repeat it. He dared him.

“Your father. Lieutenant George Kirk assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?”

He had just declared Jim to be his mortal enemy and yet he did not know it.

“I don’t think you like the fact that I beat your test.”

“Furthermore, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test.”

“Enlighten me again,” he said.

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.”

He shook his head. “I would never accept certain death. I will never. There will never come a day when I just give up and roll over, Commander, do you get that? I will scrape and claw and fight for every second of my life and my crew’s lives.”

“Again, you misunderstand. There may come a situation in which you are not given that option. Your refusal to see reason in this matter proves your unsuitability for command.”

“Don’t you see? There already came a situation in which there was no way out! But I don’t accept that. I don’t believe in the no-win scenario. I believe you should do whatever you have to, be it cheat, lie, or steal, so that you can as many lives as possible.”

“Starfleet does not—“

The dean held up a hand. The whole auditorium went silent. “We’ve received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar 1 immediately. Dismissed.”

To say the mind meld was intense would be putting it lightly.

Elder Spock showed him all the relevant information. But then he showed him more.

He felt Jim’s curiosity about what their lives would have been like and so he showed him.

He showed him a crew that was a family. He showed him a soft and hesitant friendship between Spock and Uhura and Chekov. He showed utter, absolute brotherhood between the two of them and Bones. He showed him Jim, some alternate version of himself, sweet and good, loving and well-loved. A successful, honorable man.

He showed him adventures among the stars that last for years and years, the best people in the galaxy at his side.

He showed him a silver thread that linked Elder Spock’s mind to the other Kirk’s and at first Jim was confused but then he saw the biggest, gaudiest wedding on Yorktown and he thought he got it.

He showed them growing old together, their adventures never stopping even then.

The meld broke off suddenly, and Jim fell to the ground, shaking and drenched in sweat and, oh god, were those tears?

“Forgive me. Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld,” Elder Spock said.

His brain had just short-circuited and pretty much the only thing he could feel was pain, so he thought he couldn’t be blamed too much when the only thing he could think to say was, “So you do feel?”

“Yes.”

“Going back in time, you changed all our lives.”

“Jim, we must go. There is a Starfleet outpost not far from here.”

“Wait. Where you came from, did I have Devyn?”

Elder Spock paused. “Devyn?”

“My daughter. Did I have a daughter?”

“No.”

Cold washed over him. What had happened in that alternate timeline? Had he heard Devyn crying and turned and walked the other way? Had he not fought hard enough for the right to adopt her?

Did the other Kirk just choose a different house to rob that day?

What had happened to the other Devyn? Had someone else got to her in time? Did they treat her right, or did she end up in some Orion orphanage—if those things even existed and abandoned little girls weren’t just taken straight to the fesin? Had she even made it off Tarsus?

He nodded numbly in acknowledgement and followed the Elder Spock out of the cave.

After everything is said and done, Scotty estimates it will take two or three weeks to limp back to Earth on impulse power. And then he rants to Kirk for half an hour about how he just had to eject the warp core from his beautiful ship.

“Why don’t ye just tear my own heart out while you’re at it? That’s what ye did to my silver lady, innit?”

“Scotty, for the forty-fifth time, I am sorry.”

“Actually Captain, you have only apologized twenty-two times to Commander Scott,” Spock said.

He turns to look at him. “Well, it feels like more.”

So much for that epic, soul-defining friendship Elder Spock had promised. Maybe in another universe that’s how it played out, but it sure as hell won’t happen here.

God. They had been married. For thirty some odd years.

His Spock had almost killed him twice so far and they’ve known each other for a matter of hours. The prospects were not bright.

Jim didn’t even want that, really. Sure, he wasn’t totally unlike that other guy, the other Kirk. He believed in true love and The One and finding your happily ever after.

He just didn’t think or want his to be with Spock.

But the guy was a damn good officer and a hell of a scientist. Jim may not be willing to shack up with the guy, but he wanted him on his crew.

So at 1900 hours, he went and knocked on the door to his temporarily-assigned quarters.

The bulkheads were soundproof, so Jim had no clue what was going on, but Spock didn’t answer for long enough that he decided to knock again. The door was instantly flung open, revealing both Spock and Uhura.

Uhura straightened her hair, which was slightly messy, in a way that Jim had never ever in his life seen it.

He was staring. He should stop staring.

“Captain,” Spock said formally. “Was there something that you needed?”

“Oh, uh, I just wanted to talk to you. It can wait—“

“Captain, I don’t want to interfere with ship’s business,” Uhura said.

“No, no, it’s nothing like that, it’s a personal matter. I’ll just get out of your hair.”

“I assure you you are not ‘in my hair,’ as you say. Please come in, Captain,” Spock said.

“Guess that’s my cue,” Uhura said, and slipped out the door.

Great. And now he scared the grieving man’s girlfriend off.

Why does Spock hate him again?

Jim noticed a blanket lying messily on the couch and a half-eaten bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and yeah, he felt like shit.

And now for the reason he came here: to bring up the dead mom.

“Spock,” he said. “About what I said on the bridge. I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that, I swear. I just—um, something in my gut told me I had to have you declared emotionally compromised. I’m sorry.”

“Am I to assume that in truth, you were acting on orders from my older counterpart?” Spock asked.

“Wh—You know about him?!”

“It was the only logical deduction given the day’s events, Captain.”

Of course. Of course. This is what he gets for running a ship full of geniuses. There will be no secrets here.

“Uhh—You know what? Okay. Yeah, he told me to emotionally compromise you because he thought I had to take command of the Enterprise.”

“It was fortuitous that he deduced such. If he had not, Earth and unknown countless other planets might have been destroyed.”

“Yeah, but still. I’m sorry about the way that I handled it. I went too far. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m sorry.”

“Apologies are illogical, as you were acting on my own orders.”

He shook his head. “No. He’s a different person, from a different universe. Trust me.”

“Nevertheless,” Spock said. “I do not hold you at fault.”

His lips twitched. “Well, I’m sorry anyway. For everything.”

Spock clearly wanted to call that illogical but he refrained, sensing the futility of arguing with a human. “I see. I accept your apology, Captain.”

“You don’t have to, you know. Just say that because you think you’re supposed to. It’s okay if you don’t forgive me.”

His brow furrowed. “But I do.“

Jim bit his lip to keep from asking why. Instead, he nodded. “Alright. Thank you, Commander. Good night.”

The captain turned and exited the room. Spock shook his head slightly. He had thought he was beginning to understand humans, through his relationship with Nyota. He could now see that he was plainly wrong.

Chapter Text

The admiralty demanded that the bridge crew be the first to beam down into space dock.

The place was flooded with friends and family members of the 430 personnel on board, most of the admiralty for the photo op, security forces, fan-like civilians, and of course, the press.

The second they materialized, they were bombarded with lights, holocams, and microphones. The security kept people at least fifty feet away from the transporter padd, and their shouted questions became an indistinct hum.

A teenager ducked under the guards’ arms and barreled towards Jim, who motioned for the security to put their phasers down. Devyn nearly knocked him off his feet with the force of her hug.

“I missed you!” she accused.

“I missed you too, sunshine,” he said, stroking her wavy hair. He planted a kiss on top of her head and continued to hold her hand when she refused to fully let go of him.

The press was going wild.

He stepped forward and projected his voice. Better to set the record straight before they got ahold of the rumors that had been circulating the Academy and spread those instead. People who thought Devyn was half-human and his biologically always jumped to the worst possible conclusions. That Jim used to be a slaveowner. That he had knocked up a prostitute at an alien brothel and somehow got saddled with the kid. That he had killed her mother and taken her by force—god knows what the reasoning behind that one was.

“This is Kirkkar Devyn, my adopted daughter,” he said.

“That was a smart move, having the kid hug you like that. Gave the press a nice, distracting fluff piece to chew on,” Admiral Komack said.

“It wasn’t planned, sir. She had just been worried.”

Komack clearly didn’t believe him, but nodded anyway. Guess meeting him just a few weeks ago at the academic hearing had really left an impression.

Jim had the strangest feeling that that was going to come back to bite him in the ass, painfully and frequently.

“Well, remember Kirk. You’re the face of Starfleet now. Hero of the Federation, Savior of Earth, all that bullshit that you somehow managed to swing. So you damn well better put on a good show for us.”

“A good show, sir?”

Komack handed him a padd. “This is your schedule for the next two weeks. Your first TV interview airs tomorrow at 0900 hours, so they want you to be at the studio by 0530. Good luck.”

He grinned sharkishly, and Jim did his best not to glare.

There was a mass funeral. A memorial, really. It honored the 7635 cadets and officers who had given their lives in the Battle of Vulcan.

92% human. 4% Tellarite. 2% Andorian. 1% Vulcan. Less than one percent other Federation species.

Of the 7635, only one had been a non-Federation immigrant. Only four people mourned her, Uhura standing stalwartly at Jim’s side, looking stoic and pained, Jim too shocked to do anything but hold Devyn while she sobbed.

People fucking begged Jim to bring to bring Devyn to the interviews with him. At first, he always flat-out refused, but then Devyn said something sheepishly about how it maybe sounded sorta cool, and so he worked out a deal where the networks would have the comm number to donate to the Vulcan Fund constantly on the bottom of the screen with the studio offering to match any donations made, and in exchange, Jim would bring his heartwarming adoptee child with him.

Devyn groaned in frustration in front of a mirror. “Great. I’m out of my favorite lipstick.”

“We can pick up some more on the way there. I’m sure we’ll pass at least one drug store,” Jim said.

“Dad,” she said. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to find green makeup products? The best I can usually find is this barely green pale stuff that’s clearly marketed for Vulcans. No one sells Orion makeup products.”

“Oh,” he said, feeling dumb. “Well… Can you wear a color other than green?”

In a way, this was Jim’s fault. Devyn and Bones frequently reminded him of that.

His heartwarming adoptee daughter showed up to the TV studio in black lipstick and thick eyeshadow and mascara—also black. She had also decided to wear black clothing. To match.

She refused to let the professional stylists change a single thing about it, though she did allow them to mess around with her curls a bit.

They ran so late to get there that by the time everyone got done fussing over Devyn, they had thirty seconds to realize Jim was in a beat-up leather jacket, torn up jeans, and looked like he hadn’t slept in three days. The interviewer was doing her best not to snap their necks in half as they holocams started rolling.

“Hello, Earth! I’m Laticia McNamara and this is the Federation Report. I’m here today with the legendary Kirk family. 28 years ago, Lieutenant Commander George Kirk sacrificed his life to save the 800 people aboard the USS Kelvin, including his wife and newborn son, who I have here with me today.

“As I’m sure you all know, James Kirk is the hero who commandeered the Enterprise to defeat Nero, avenge Vulcan, and save Earth and possibly the Federation at large. Captain Kirk, it is an honor to be in your presence today.”

“Thanks, Laticia, it’s an honor to be here,” he replied smoothly.

Everything went exactly the same as every other interview they had done so far and Jim gave the same answers he used already a dozen times these past two weeks—watered down, admiralty-approved versions of what he had said in the eighty billion debriefings he’d been made to go through.

But then Laticia caught on that she was getting nothing new out of him and she was either smart or bored or both, because she dropped the subject of Nero entirely.

“So you two are a very untraditional family compared to the usual Federation ideal, if you don’t mind me saying. What inspired you to adopt an Orion child, James?”

“Well… To be honest, there was never really a question for me. I met Devyn and she had no family left to raise her, so I decided I would.”

“That’s very noble of you. Not many people think that way. How exactly did you two meet?”

Jim froze, and Devyn instantly looked to him.

“I—“

“Aboard a rescue ship. Dad was volunteering there for the summer, and they ended up picking up a bunch of Orion refugees,” Devyn shrugged. “I was one of them.”

They went back to their old dorm that night and Jim sat down with a spiked cup of coffee. Bones was off in Georgia visiting Joanna. He’d be back when classes resumed. For now, the Academy had temporarily cancelled everything in order to observe a period of mourning.

Devyn came out of the shower in pajamas and a sweater, makeup free and hair tumbling wildly around her. She sat down across from Jim at the table.

“So you don’t have to answer this,” she said. “But it’s something I’ve been wondering about for a while. And I was thinking now would be a good time to ask.”

He waited patiently.

She took a deep breath. “What do you remember about my bio parents?”

What their corpses smelled like.

That they killed each other over a jar of salsa.

“I know you don’t like to talk about Tarsus, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I was just thinking, maybe you would, you know? ‘Cuz you already told me what happened there, with the starvation and the kids and everything. And I know I was there too and that’s where you found me, but I was too young to remember anything and—“

“Devyn.” He laid a hand on top of hers. “I’d love to tell you. I never really told you that much about Tarsus, because I’ve been waiting until you were older, but I think you’re old enough now.”

Her eyes widened.

“When I found you, you were crying in your crib in, safe inside your parents’ house. I don’t know how long you had been left there.”

“Where were my parents?”

“Dead in the livingroom.”

She flinched. “Kodos?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“It, uh… From what I saw, it looked like they did it to each other.”

She blinked rapidly, breaths shuddering.

“Hey,” Jim said gently. “We don’t have to talk about this. Don’t feel like, like you’re obligated to hear about this. I know it’s rough.”

She shook her head. “You were fourteen and you lived it. I can at least listen to it.”

“Hey. Shh. That’s not how it works. Just because I went through tough shit doesn’t mean you have to too. I don’t want that for you.”

She swallowed and steeled her gaze. “What were you doing at their house? Did you know them? Were they—Did they love each other?”

He fiddled with his cup of coffee. “I didn’t know them, actually. I was a stranger. Never even met ‘em before.”

“Then why did they invite you over?”

“They didn’t. I broke in. I was there to rob the place. For food. I was going to steal food from your parents.”

For a while, Devyn just looked at him.

Jim took a sip of his lukewarm coffee, grimacing at the taste.

He finally forced himself to look his daughter in the eye. Her expression was completely closed off and unreadable.

“I’m glad you made it out alive,” she said quietly.

Chapter Text

“Mr. Spock!” Devyn called pleasantly down a corridor of the Enterprise. “Can we talk for a minute?”

She had on a plastic smile that for some reason set Spock on edge.

It had been three months since the conclusion of the Narada incident. All field promotions had been finalized following the mass destruction of the secondary fleet. The cadets had been rushed through the end of the semester to get as many new officers graduated as possible. The Enterprise had been repaired as quickly as possible and launched as the flagship with a great deal of fanfare.

“Of course, Ms. Kirk.”

The smile broadened somehow, looking even more predatory.

Devyn grabbed Spock by the elbow and pulled him into a conference room.

“My dad told me about you.” She said it like an accusation.

“I was under the impression that your father had a favorable opinion of me.”

“Oh, he does. He’s forgiven you for marooning him, for almost getting him expelled, even for trying to murder him.”

Spock opened his mouth to defend himself but Devyn cut him off, clearly not finished.

“Let me make something very clear to you, Commander. My dad may have forgiven you. But I haven’t. So you better fucking watch yourself.”

She gave him one last glare and whisked out of the room.

Spock was fairly certain he had been threatened. He had never been threatened by a child before. Correction. He had not been threatened by a child since he was a child. He was unsure about how to handle the situation.

“Why are we sitting all the way over here?” Nyota asked. “The rest of the bridge crew’s on the other side of the mess. Are you avoiding someone?”

Spock diligently continued eating his salad.

“Spock.”

“Yes, Nyota?”

“Answer me.”

“Very well. I am avoiding the captain’s daughter.”

She laughed. “What? Why?”

“I believe she has threatened me.”

“What?”

“Indeed. Her instructions were, and I quote, to ‘fucking watch myself.’”

Nyota burst out cackling so loudly it drew attention from several surrounding tables. She tried vehemently to suppress her laughter, but it took several minutes.

“So let me get this straight,” she said. “A fourteen-year-old Orion girl threatened you and you’re avoiding the entire senior staff because of it.”

“That is correct.”

She choked on another brief bout of laughter. “What did you do to acquire such a fearsome enemy in the first place?”

“She believes me to be a danger to her father.”

Nyota sobered. “I’m sorry, Spock. She’ll warm up to you eventually,” she said. “But not if you keep avoiding her.”

“I believe it is a wise course of action. Experience has taught me to never underestimate the deviousness of teenagers. One has no way of knowing what she might do.”

Nyota quirked up an eyebrow. “Were Vulcan teenagers really that bad?”

“Indeed.”

She looked at him curiously, seriously. In the whole year they had been together, Spock had always avoided talking about his childhood. That in itself was very telling, but Nyota wanted him to genuinely trust her, to open up to her. “Spock…”

“I believe you are right, Nyota. This issue will not be resolved by avoiding it.” He gathered up his tray and headed to the other end of the mess.

Nyota sighed, and then stood up to follow.

“May we join you?” Spock asked politely.

“Sure! There’s plenty of room,” Jim said cheerily. Spock and Nyota took their seats.

“I was just telling everybody about what our first-ever mission’s gonna be,” Jim said.

“Yeah, it’s a real thriller,” McCoy said dryly.

“We’re going star-charting in the Beta Quadrant!” he said. “Star-charting, guys! No one from the Federation has ever seen those stars before. We’re gonna be the first. We really are going where no one has gone before, and right off the bat, too.”

“It does pose numerous interesting scientific opportunities. Exploration and discovery form the foundation of expanding the scientific canon,” Spock said.

“See? Spock thinks star-charting is cool. You guys are just mean.”

“Oy, you two have gotta be the only ones in the Federation who do. And you’ll be singing a different tune after the eighth week in a row of nothin’ but star-charting. Trust me. I’m the only one of ye who’s been on a deep-space mission before.”

“That is false,” Spock said. “I completed one mission before accepting a professorial position at the Academy.”

“You did?” Nyota asked.

“Indeed,” he said. She frowned, ever so slightly.

“What happened?” Devyn asked. Jim kicked her under the table, which she ignored.

“I do not wish to discuss it.”

“Aww, but Spock—“

“Devyn,” Jim said. She opened her mouth in protest, then caught his glare and returned to her meal.

“What was that with Spock at lunch today?” Jim asked, folding his arms.

“What do you mean?” Devyn asked innocently.

“You know what I mean. You were goading him. And moreover, you were being rude. That’s not like you. Why were you acting that way?”

She looked down at the ground, sufficiently ashamed. “I-I don’t know. I just don’t like Spock.”

“Why? You just met him, Devyn. You haven’t even given the guy a chance.”

“He tried to kill you.”

“I provoked him.”

“You were assaulted, but it’s okay, because you were asking for it. Imagine if I said that to you.”

Jim’s heart actually stopped for a beat. “Okay. You’re right. I didn’t know he would attack me. I didn’t think it would go that far. The most I expected was for him to scream or storm off the bridge.”

“Why do you expect me to forgive him? Why do you want me to?” she asked. “Why should I?”

“Because…” Damn, his kid asked hard questions. “Because he’s a good man and he would never hurt a soul in his right mind. He was suffering from multiple broken bonds right then—which is the telepathic equivalent of getting a limb chopped off—and was probably using all his remaining control just to keep standing.”

“How do you know all this?” she folded her arms.

“I melded with him.”

“Vulcan mind magic?”

“You spend too much time with your Uncle Bones, but yes. Only it wasn’t technically him. You can’t tell anyone this, Devyn, but like a hundred and thirty years in the future, Spock travels back in time and creates a parallel universe. This universe. Only Old Spock is still alive, and I met him in a cave on Delta Vega and he touched my mind.”

Devyn stared at him, gaping.

“You expect me to believe this?”

“Yes. Because it’s true.”

“It’s a load of bullcrap, Dad.”

“What incentive do I have to lie to you?”

“To get me to like Spock.”

“And why would I want that unless it was true?”

She stared at him. “I suppose you wouldn’t,” she said. “But it’s still a load of bullcrap.”

He grinned. “So you’ll be nice to Spock, then?”

“I’ll give him a chance.”

Chapter Text

Jim asks the transporter tech to clear the room after initializing beam-up. Says he wants to have a private word with the new crewman.

Devyn stands expectantly at his side and they watch as Kevin Riley beams aboard the Enterprise.

He immediately salutes. “Captain Kirk. It is an honor to serve under you, sir.”

“At ease, Ensign,” Jim says formally. Then he breaks out into a big grin. “C’mere, give me a hug.”

Kevin easily steps into his arms and buries his head in Kirk’s shoulder. “I missed you.”

“I know. I missed you too, little buddy.”

“Thanks for getting me into the Academy.”

“Anything for family.”

Kevin laughed a little awkwardly and pulled back. “Hey, Devyn. I don’t suppose you remember me?”

She shook her head. “No, sorry.”

“That’s alright. I figured. You were really young,” he said. “I actually—I helped teach you how to walk.”

“Really?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I always thought of you as a sister.”

Jim’s heart panged. “Kevin. I’m so sorry—“

“No, JT, it’s not your fault. You did everything you could, and the important thing is, we’re together now.”

He nodded, and pulled Kevin in for another hug. “So, um. The crew doesn’t know that I was on Tarsus.”

“Don’t worry, JT, I won’t tell.”

He smiled affectionately and ruffled the ensign’s hair.

They’re called off on a simple mission to watch a planet break up—which will be emotionally traumatic for Spock, but of untold worth scientifically—when they find every scientist left at the research station, some killed by the elements, some killed by each other.

And then it turned out that fucking Tormolen took his glove off at some point and brought a virus on board that spread to the entire crew.

People died because of that. Including Tormolen.

Bones said the Psi 2000 virus mimicked the effects of alcohol. Jim made a mental note to never ever go drinking with Sulu and also to confiscate all of his swords. At least some of swords.

How the hell did he get swords on a starship anyway. There had to be regulations against that. Jim can’t keep a few switchblades hidden in his clothes but Sulu can have a fucking katana? How was that fair?

But, horrifically enough, Sulu drunkenly attempting to duel various crewmembers wasn’t actually Jim’s biggest problem that day.

No, because Kevin Riley committed fucking mutiny and stole Jim’s starship.

Even drunk off his ass, it was sort of a brilliant plan and it successfully circumvented every security protocol in place with ease. The kid was a genius. Jim would have to consider promoting him to lieutenant after this.

That is, if he didn’t crash Jim’s starship.

Devyn wandered down the hallway, an exaggerated, drunken sway to her hips.

And then she caught sight of Ensign Chekov. Sweet, innocent, only-three-years-older-than-her Pavel.

She grinned seductively and waltzed over to him, only it was really more of a directed stumble.

“Ms. Kirk! The keptin has been worried sick about you. You were supposed to stay in your quarters,” he said.

She ran her hands up the ensign’s chest, locking them behind his neck. He froze like a broken computer, all visible skin flushing bright red. Adorable.

“Oh, poor baby. You are waaay too lucid,” Devyn said. “Let me fix that.”

She planted a kiss on his lips and that was enough to startle him to his senses. He jerked away from her immediately.

“Ms. Kirk! This is inappropriate! You are a small child! And intoxicated!”

“You’re only three years older than me,” she said. “And it’s not like you’re an adult.”

She took a step forward and Chekov took two back. Then he turned around and sprinted away.

“Keptin, I have located your daughter!” Chekov said, bursting onto the bridge.

“Oh, thank god. Where is she?” he asked. “And did you happen to find Spock? He took his comm badge off, so the computer can’t locate him.”

“I did not see the commander, no.”

“But Devyn? Where is she?”

“Last I saw, she was in corridor A3 on Deck 17.”

“Last you saw? Why didn’t you bring her here with you? Or even take her to medbay?”

“I—I left rather suddenly, Keptin. I did not think. I apologize.”

The captain’s face darkened with suspicion. “What exactly happened, Ensign?”

He swallowed. “You must understand I did nothing to encourage her behavior.”

“Answer the question.” His voice cut like a blade of ice.

“Sh-she kissed me, sir,” he squeaked.

The entire bridge went dead silent.

“Uhura, you have the conn,” the captain gruffed. And then he stormed off the bridge.

“Devyn!” Jim called out. His daughter giggled and sort of… walked into a wall.

Jim took her by the arm. “You are going to medbay and you are going to stay there with your Uncle Bones until he double-checks that every last person on this ship is cured of the virus.”

“Where’s Pavel? I love him. I wanna tell him I love him.”

“You don’t love Pavel. You’ve only spoken to him like three times.”

“Oh, what do you know? You’ve never been in love.” She shoved at him lightly, and Jim grit his teeth. “Let me go, I wanna go to Pavel.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?” she said. “Why can’t I date boys, Dad? You’re so sexist.”

“You can date boys, alright. You just can’t date Pavel.”

“Whyyyy?”

“Because he is seventeen and you are fourteen.”

“So? That’s only three years.”

“It’s a bigger difference when you’re as young as you are.”

“That’s stupid, Dad. You’re stupid.”

“And you’re drunk.”

“Drunk and in love!” she proclaimed. “Juliet was thirteen and Romeo was seventeen and they made it work.”

“They both died, Devyn.”

She sighed. “And it was so romantic.”

Spock burst out of a conference room right in front of them and they both jumped back and screamed. Spock grabbed Jim by the shoulders and held him in place.

“Captain! Captain, I am having an emotional breakdown.”

Jim stared incredulously. Of course. Of course this would happen to Spock, the one person he had hoped would still have a level head in this crisis.

“It’s okay, Spock, we’re on our way to medbay right now. Why don’t you come with us?”

“I cannot,” he said.

“Why?”

“I must cry.”

And then he sat down right in the middle of the hallway to do just that.

If God was real, then he was definitely laughing at Jim right now.

Jim decided he hated God.

Chapter Text

Thomas Leighton’s half-masked face lit up the vidscreen. “JT!”

“Tom!”

“I heard you got Kevin on your ship.”

“Yep,” he said. “He’s in the communications department. He’s starting out at the bottom of the barrel, but he’ll work his way up. Kid’s a fighter.”

“No doubt,” Tom laughed. “Actually, JT, this isn’t a social call. I need to talk to you as a scientist to a starship captain.”

He immediately straightened. “Of course. What can I do for you?”

“Me and my team have just successfully engineered a new form of synthetic food that’s resistant to fungi and, well, pretty much everything else. It doesn’t taste the greatest, but it will completely eliminate the threat of famine on Cygnia Minor, and any other planets that end up in a similar situation.”

Jim looked at him in awe.

“Tom,” he said. “Tom, that’s amazing. I’ll be there right away.”

And then it’s off to Cygnia Minor.

Tom insisted on taking the entire landing party out to see a play before showing them his discovery. Jim went along with it, because this was Tom, and always because you go along with anything when crazy genius scientists are offering you the solution to all your problems on a silver platter.

“An Arkturian Macbeth,” Jim said. “That’s interesting.”

“Watch him,” Tom whispered. “Watch Macbeth.”

Jim gave him the side-eye, but turned his focus back to the play.

“That voice,” Tom said. “That man on the stage. That’s Kodos.”

Jim slammed a hand down on the table. “You called me three lightyears off my course just to accuse an actor of being Kodos?”

“He is Kodos!”

“And what about your discovery, huh? Are the people on Cygnia Minor going to have to worry about starving next year or aren’t they?”

“I’m sorry about that. But it was necessary to get you here.”

“And what am I supposed to put in my log? That you lied, diverted a starship with false information? This could ruin your career, Tom! They’ll revoke your research license over this.”

“I did it to trap Kodos!”

“Kodos. Is. Dead.”

“Is he?” Tom asked. “Jim. Four thousand people were butchered.”

He turned to Tom’s wife in exasperation. “Martha, couldn’t you have talked him out of this?”

“I can’t tell him anything, Jim. He’s been like this ever since that acting troupe arrived.”

“Kodos is dead,” Jim repeated. He needed to convince himself as much as he did Tom. “That’s good enough for me.”

“Well, it’s not for me,” Tom said. “I remember him. I remember that voice. Jim, I need your help. There are only nine witnesses. If you and I both testify—“

“Kodos is dead.”

“Then I guess Martha and I invited a ghost to join us for dinner tonight. The entire troupe is coming over for a cocktail party,” Tom said. “I have to be sure.”

“And I have to get back to my ship,” he said. “And come up with some lie that clears us both for my log.”

The first thing he did when he got back to the ship was seclude himself away in his ready room to consult the historical database.

“Kodos the Executioner. Summary: Governor of Tarsus VI 14 Earth years ago. Invoked martial law. Slaughtered 50% population of Earth colony on planet. Burned body found when Federation forces arrived. No positive identification. Case closed. Detailed information follows,” the computer intoned. “On stardate 2497.7, Kodos—“

“Stop,” Jim commanded. “Information on Anton Karidian.”

“Director and star of travelling company of actors sponsored by Galactic Cultural Exchange Project. Touring official installations last nine years. Has daughter Lenore, thirteen years old—“

“Stop,” he said. “Give comparative information between the actor Karidian and Governor Kodos.”

“No identification records available on actor Anton Karidian.”

All but impossible in the twenty-third century. That took effort. A lot of effort. Karidian must have gone to great lengths to keep himself off the grid. He would create a lot of trouble for himself that way, live a very inconvenient life.

You don’t do that unless you have a damn good reason.

“Give information on Anton Karidian prior to Kodos’ death,” he said.

“No information on Anton Karidian prior to fourteen years ago.”

Jim leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers.

Well. The information certainly was damning. But it was entirely circumstantial. For all Jim knew, Karidian was on the run because he’s a former assassin or Klingon spy or something. There are any number of reasons and using a fake identity.

And this wasn’t the first time that Tom had been dead certain some innocent stranger was Kodos the Executioner.

He wanted to trust Tom, he really did. He was one of his best and oldest friends. He was one of the Tarsus kids. The Tarsus Nine. They would always hold a special place in Jim’s heart and life that no one else could ever reach.

Could he trust his perception on this? Was his judgment clouded by his feelings for Tom?

Spock entered the ready room and Jim whirled around in his chair, quickly clicking off the computer.

“Mr. Spock,” he said. “You’ve worked with Dr. Leighton, haven’t you? Would you say he’s paranoid? Delusional maybe?”

“Dr. Leighton is an adequate empirical research scientist. Steady, reputable, occasionally brilliant.”

“With a very long memory.”

“I have no information on that, Captain,” he said. “We are ready to leave orbit.”

“Not yet,” he said. “I’m beaming back down to the planet.”

The thing about kids is that they talk, and they observe far more than any adult ever wants them too. Jim wants information. He has a fourteen-year-old daughter. Karidian has a thirteen-year-old daughter.

It’s an espionage mark chosen by Cupid himself.

And Devyn is all too excited to be participating in a “secret mission.” She initially wants to show up to the cocktail party in cool black shades and a tux, but Jim tells her no, successful spies don’t dress up to look like spies, no matter how cool it would be.

Lenore Karidian was a pale blonde human with icy blue eyes and also one of only two children at the entire party. She sidled right up to Devyn instantly.

“These things are so boring,” Lenore said.

“I know, right? Can’t even drink any of their stupid alcohol to make it more fun either,” Devyn said.

Lenore huffed in agreement. By unspoken decision, they made their way over to a room just off from where the main party was at. Lenore started inspecting the bookcase, while Devyn laid down on couch and stretched out her limbs.

“I like your hair,” Devyn said suddenly.

Lenore brought a hand up to touch the elaborate half-updo. “Thanks, I did it myself.”

“Really? How’d you see to do that?”

“Lots of mirrors,” she said.

“Well, it looks great.”

“Thanks,” she said. “So how come you had to come to this thing? I know I’m here because I’m one of the actors’ daughters, but I thought this party was for Starfleet members only.”

“Oh, my dad is Starfleet. He’s the captain of the Enterprise, actually,” she said casually.

Lenore’s eyes widened. “Really? Wait, they let kids on starships?”

“Oh yeah, sure. As long as your parents agree to it and one of them is serving on board.”

“That’s so cool,” Lenore said. “Do you get to go on space adventures?”

“Yeah,” she smirked. “Tons.”

You know, she totally didn’t even need the tux and sunglasses. She was a super cool superspy even without them.

Hell, she was amazing.

“Wait, captain of the Enterprise? Oh my gosh, is your dad James Kirk? The guy who saved Earth?”

“Yep,” she drawled. Lenore was practically buzzing with excitement and… hesitation? Devyn smiled. “Do you want his autograph?”

“Yes please!”

“Come along, Lenore.”

“So where’s your dad?” Devyn asked later, sipping a Shirley Temple.

“Ugh, he’s super lame. He’s sitting back at the hotel, probably watching the holovision right now. He has, like, weird rules about that kinda thing. He never meets his fans and he never goes to parties.”

“That’s weird. I thought actors liked having fans.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, normal ones. Not my dad though. He’s super paranoid.”

“About what? What, is he worried someone’s gonna hate his performances so much they decide to assassinate him for it?”

Lenore laughed. “Yeah, probably. I mean. I wouldn’t know.” She took a quick sip of her drink. “Um. I have to go.”

“…Okay. See ya,” Devyn said, frowning as the other girl dashed off.

The party was cut off early when Jim found Tom Leighton’s dead body just outside.

He felt numb, numb and cold and stupid. He had known Karidian wasn’t who he said he was. He had known he was dangerous. He practically fed his friend to the wolves.

God, he was sick of himself.

He paced the length of his bedroom angrily.

Like hell was he gonna let Karidian get away with this. It was time to call in a favor.

“Ready to resume course, Captain,” Spock said, taking his customary place just behind his chair.

“Actually, I think we’re due for a pick-up,” Jim said.

Spock arched a brow. It was unusual for the First Officer to not be informed of such things in advance. But then, they were just a few months into their mission and Spock had already determined that he had aligned himself with a most unusual captain. “What kind? Personnel? Cargo?”

“Captain,” Uhura spoke up. “A Miss Karidian has been beamed aboard the ship. She requests permission to see you.”

“Tell her to come up to the bridge.”

“How did you know this lady was coming aboard?” Spock asked.

“I’m the captain,” he said simply, as if that explained everything.

A nervous thirteen-year-old stepped out of the turbolift. “Um, hi. Captain Kirk?”

This was not what Spock had expected.

“Yes, Miss Karidian?” Jim said, smiling pleasantly.

“So I was talking with Devyn last night. You know, your daughter?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And she said if we ever needed help we should ask you guys.”

“Of course.”

“Well, and now we need help,” she said. “We need to get the Benecia colony like, ASAP, or else our whole tour schedule is ruined.”

“Miss Karidian, would not this conversation be far more appropriate to conduct with one of the adult leaders of your troupe? Your father, for instance?” Spock said.

She shook her head. “Dad doesn’t like seeing people. And the manager thought you’d be less likely to say no to me because I’m a kid and I can cry on command.”

Jim laughed. “Well, how can we say no now? Chekov, plot a course to Benecia. Sulu, lay it in at warp one.”

“Captain, the Benecia colony is eight lightyears off our course. In addition, it is against regulation for a starship to take on civilian passengers.”

“If my memory needs refreshing, Mr. Spock, I’ll ask you for it. In the meantime, follow my orders,” Jim snapped.

“Mr. Spock,” Jim said.

“Captain.”

“Lieutenant Kevin Riley in communications—I want him transferred down to the engineering deck.”

“He came up from engineering, Captain.”

“And now I’m sending him back.”

“Shall I give him an explanation? He is bound to see this as a disciplinary action.”

He closed his eyes. “Spock. Just—please follow my orders.”

“Spare me your philosophical metaphors, doctor. The captain is acting strangely. I am inquiring as to whether you have noticed,” Spock said.

“What are you so worried about anyway? I find Jim generally knows what he’s doing.”

“It was illogical for him to bring those actors aboard.”

“Illogical? His kid’s friends with that little one. Or maybe she’s got a crush, hell do I know about teenage girls?” McCoy said. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe he’s just indulging his little girl?”

“It occurred. I dismissed it.”

“You would.”

“Did you know he suddenly transferred Lieutenant Riley to engineering?”

“Lots of things going on around here that I don’t know about, Mr. Spock. Now, he’s the captain, he can make any transfers he wants to make. You can look that up in a hundred volumes of space regulations somewhere, alright?”

“Hey, Bones, what’s up?” Jim asked cheerily, striding into medbay.

He froze dead in his tracks.

“Hey, uh, what’s Kev—Lieutenant Riley doing in here? Did something happen?”

Bones didn’t even look up from his padd. “Yeah. Strangest thing. He’s got tetralubisol poisoning.”

“He was poisoned?” Jim asked, voice low and serious.

Now McCoy looked up. “I’m sure it was an accident. Tetralubisol is a milky substance, and we found traces of it in his milk. Someone could have made a mistake.”

“What, are the replicators just spitting out poison now?”

Bones snorted. “I’ve been saying that since the start of this mission, Jim. Man was not meant to live on artificially reconstituted food. Ain’t natural.”

Jim shook his head. “Keep me informed of the lieutenant’s status. I want regular updates.”

“Didn’t know you two were close.”

“He’s a member of my crew, Dr. McCoy, and it’s my responsibility to ensure his wellbeing. If someone’s poisoning my staff, then I want to know about it.”

“Did you just call me Dr. McCoy?”

Jim gave him a stern, almost fiery look that Bones had never seen before. “Sure thing, Captain,” he said. “I’ll have Chapel keep you updated.”

Jim nodded and promptly left medbay. Ship’s business was concluded, after all.

Maybe that hobgoblin was onto something.

The chime rang for his quarters.

“Enter,” Jim called.

Both Spock and Bones walked in in unison. Jim set down his padd.

Bones being concerned was one thing. But Spock being concerned was just insulting. Jim knew the Vulcan didn’t give two shits about him personally, so that meant his concern was professional.

And over his dead body would Jim let his issues with his past endanger the ship.

Bones set a padd on his desk. “My report on Lieutenant Riley.”

“Will he make it?”

“He’s got a good chance.”

“We predict the same for you, Captain.”

He folded his arms and did his best to look intimidating without outright glaring. “Alright, Mr. Spock, let’s have it.”

“Lieutenant Riley was a witness. So were you.”

Jim glanced down at the padd. “Someone tried to kill him.”

“Coulda been an accident,” Bones said.

“You should be told the difference between empiricism and stubbornness, doctor,” Spock said. “I checked with the library computer just as you did. I got the same information.”

“Aren’t you getting a little out of line, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked lowly. “My personal business—“

“It becomes my personal business when it might interfere with the smooth operation of this ship.”

Jim stood up abruptly, getting in his space, tension coiled in his body. “You think that happened?”

“It could happen.”

“You’re my second-in-command, Mr. Spock, not my keeper. Maybe you should try to remember that and mind your own business.”

“Jim, Spock’s just trying to—“

“I know what he’s trying to do and I don’t like it,” Jim snapped. “Am I emotionally compromised, Commander? Are you going to relieve me of command?”

“It’s his job and you know it,” Bones said, and that was really the last betrayal that Jim expected—Bones siding with Spock.

Next thing you know Devyn’s gonna come in here and tell him he’s a shitty father and that’ll just be the icing on the cake.

“It is also my duty to protect you, Captain. Almost certainly an attempt will be made to kill you. Why do you invite death?”

“What are you, my shrink?” he hissed.

“Captain, Karidian is Kodos.”

He laughed. “And you are just so certain about that, aren’t you? You’re willing to accuse someone of being Kodos the Executioner based on what? A hunch?”

“Logic, Captain. Dr. Leighton was murdered while the Karidian company was on Planet Q. Now an attempt has been made against Lieutenant Riley while the company is aboard the Enterprise.”

Jim’s head swam. “But we have no proof that was an actual murder attempt. Besides—“

And then Spock’s sensitive Vulcan ears picked up the ever-rising sound of a phaser on overload.

Kevin was backstage, holding a phaser in shaking hands, pointed at Karidian. At Kodos.

“Kevin,” Jim hissed. “Get back to medbay.”

The phaser turned to point at Jim now. “He murdered my parents. My sister.”

“You could be wrong,” he said. “Don’t throw your life away on a mistake.”

“I’m not wrong! I know that voice. Those eyes, I know them. I saw it. He murdered them.”

“Give me the weapon. That’s an order,” Jim said, approaching slowly. His hand closed around the barrel of the phaser and he pulled it from his grasp. “Get back to medbay. Now.”

And then Lenore Karidian confessed to seven murders and shot her father, the little teenage psychopath quoting Shakespeare and sobbing as her father breathed his last breaths.

She suffered a severe mental break and traumatic amnesia. The Enterprise was tasked with transporting her to Elba II.

She even believed her father was still alive.

Chapter Text

The chime sounded on his quarters.

“Enter,” Jim called.

Uhura stepped inside, the perfectly polished officer, and stood at parade rest in front of him. “Captain, can I speak with you?”

“Sure. Of course. Um,” he said. “Is this ship’s business or personal?”

“Both,” she said, taking a seat. “May I speak freely?”

“Go right ahead.”

“I realize this ship does not have an HR department.”

Oh no.

“Is there some sort of problem among the crew?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, giving him a look he couldn’t decipher. “I have noticed that there are two crewmen who cannot work amiably together. Efficiency noticeably decreases when they are on shift together. And not just between them, but for their whole department. Their personal issues with each other are creating a hostile working environment that only seems to be getting worse over time.”

“I see. And what do you recommend?”

“You are the captain, sir.”

“Okay. Um. Can we lock them in a room together somewhere and refuse to let them out until they learn to get along?”

Her eyes seemed to light up with humor. “While I’m sure there are no regulations against that specifically—“

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, chuckling slightly. “But I bet we could do that anyway. Just dress it up a bit and give it a fancy name. Umm… These two crewmen have to spend one hour together twice a week for the next two months. And it has to be verified by a third party. We’ll call it… Mandatory Intra-Departmental Cohesiveness Training.”

“Excellent,” Uhura tapped away at the padd she had brought in with her. “Just sign here and it’ll be an official order submitted to Starfleet Command.”

He scribbled down his signature. “I assume these two crewmen are in your department?”

“In a sense,” she said, taking the padd back.

“In a sense? Who are they?”

“The Captain and First Officer,” she smiled.

Uhura was an evil, evil woman who tricked Jim with her trickery word magic.

He didn’t want to hang out with Spock.

And yet here was, in the rec room so there would be witnesses, hanging out with Spock.

They sat at a small table in the center of the room in dead silence for five minutes.

Jim broke first.

“So,” he said. “How are things with you and Uhura?”

“Adequate.”

“Ah.”

And they were back to silence.

Jim circled his fingers around each other, bored out of his mind. Spock seemed to be watching the movement, oddly enough.

Jim sighed. “Screw this. Let’s just get out a board game or something so that we don’t have to talk to each other. Do you play chess?”

“Affirmative.”

“Checkmate,” Jim said.

Spock blinked. He stared at the board for a full minute, then turned his attention back to Jim, his gaze penetrating. He looked extremely puzzled—as much as a Vulcan would allow themselves to look extremely anything.

“No one has beaten me in chess since I was 7.18 Earth years of age,” he said.

Jim grinned. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, Mr. Spock.”

“I would have a rematch.”

He laughed and began rearranging the pieces, taking black this time.

The second game, they gathered a small crowd of observers, including Devyn. She watched the board with unwavering intensity, eyes flitting as pieces were moved, absorbing the rules and tricks of the game.

Before anyone knew it, an hour and forty-five minutes had passed and Uhura came over to their table and signed a padd acknowledging that they had in fact spent time together. She was smirking the whole time.

Jim did his best to be mad, he really did.

“Um,” Devyn said. “Mr. Spock?”

He set down the weights and rose from the bench press. “Yes, Ms. Kirk?”

“Do you know Suus Mahna?”

“Affirmative.”

“Would you teach it to me?”

He took a moment to truly observe her. Devyn was a somewhat small Orion teenager. Orions were known to be stronger than humans, but only marginally, and that still left them significantly weaker than Vulcans. She was clad in the smallest regulation workout clothing available, which was still slightly big on her.

She did appear to have a higher than average degree of muscle definition and bulk, however.

“Have you had any previous training?”

She shook her head. “Not in Suus Mahna. But I do know two other forms of martial arts. And Aunt Gaila taught me how to throw knives. Apparently all lodubyaln are trained with a poison blade.”

“What forms of martial arts are you familiar with?”

“Klingon Mok’bara and human krav maga. My dad taught them to me when I was ten.”

“For what purpose?”

She shrugged. “I think he just wanted to make sure I knew how to kick ass before I started producing pheromones.”

“And you deemed this training insufficient?”

“No, it’s just—Okay, you have to promise not to tell my dad this, deal?”

“You have my word.”

“Okay,” she breathed out. “I wanna join Starfleet.”

“I fail to see the relation between this and our previous conversation topic.”

“Security track.”

Spock carefully hid his reaction. He could easily imagine the captain’s reaction to that. The so-called “redshirts” had the highest mortality rate of any branch of Starfleet. They made up the highest number of personnel, but their numbers also had to be frequently replenished.

“May I ask why?”

“People need defending,” she said. “I’m good at that. I have a moral obligation to help as many people as I can in the best way that I can.”

Spock blinked at that. “Devyn,” he said. “I believe you would have made an excellent Vulcan.”

She grinned, and Spock demonstrated the first stance.

“Dad, is it okay if I go off my suppressants?”

“Like, temporarily? I don’t think that’s a good idea, sunshine, that could really screw with your hormone levels, and then you’d have to get readjusted to them all over again.”

“No. Permanently.”

“Oh,” he said. “Well sweetie, if you want to do that, then that’s your decision. It’s your body, after all. Can I ask what made you change your mind?”

“I really, really don’t like the headaches and the mood swings. And—“ she paused. “I feel safe here.”

He melted and pulled her in for a hug.

Entirely against his will, Jim was starting to actually look forward to the biweekly chess matches with Spock.

Especially since they had been moved to Jim’s quarters and they actually started to talk during them.

”Can I throw someone in the brig for looking at my daughter wrong?”

”Negative, Captain.”

”Its Jim. And are you sure?”

”Certainly. Looking at someone wrong is not a recognized crime within the Federation. It would be an abuse of your power.”

”Damn,” he said. “Devyn went off her suppressants two weeks ago and now every male crewmember is jumpy around her. Or maybe that’s just when I’m around. Thing is though, she doesn’t smell different at all to me. If I didn’t know better, I’d still think she was on the suppressants.”

”You would not notice a difference. Orions take the same scent as all those residing in their nest. As such, you would be immune to her pheromones. Possibly Dr. McCoy will be for a time as well, given how long you cohabitated together. I would estimate that Devyn gives off the same pheromone scent as the departed Ms. Gaila.”

”Huh. So basically, it’s like a family thing.”

”It is a natural result of cohabitation in any species and has nothing to do with genetics, but yes, in a sense.”

”I heard Vulcans are immune to all Orion pheromones, even ones that aren’t their... nest-mates. Is that true?”

”Affirmative. Our control is sufficient to suppress all unwanted bodily reactions except in the most dire of circumstances.”

”Huh. Neat,” he said. “Good thing, too, ‘cuz otherwise I’d have to punch your face in.”

“Captain?”

”A joke, Spock.”

”I see.”

He smiled fondly. “And they say that Vulcans can’t lie.”

”Indeed, Captain,” he said. “Checkmate.”

Jim gasped in outrage, eyes snapping back down to the board.

Chapter Text

“Anything from the landing party?” Jim asked, signing off on a yeoman’s proffered padd.

”They should be sending up a report momentarily, Captain,” Spock said from his usual spot just behind him.

Jim shifted, grunting in pain.

”Something the matter, Captain?”

”A kink in my back,” he said. He felt firm pressure rub circles in the afflicted area. It was heavenly. “That’s it. A little higher, please. Push. Push hard. Dig it in there, Mr. Sp—“

Spock stepped into his line of vision.

Jim cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thank you, Yeoman, that’s sufficient.”

Uhura gave him an incredulous look, mouth hanging slightly open. Going from the gleeful expression on Devyn’s face (who wasn’t supposed to be on the bridge in the first place), he was never going to live this down for the rest of his life.

Fuck, she was typing away at her communicator, probably relating all of this live to her favorite Uncle Bonesies. Those two were out to get him, he swore by it.

“You need sleep, Captain.”

And now he was being shamed by his own yeoman.

“You like Spock!” Devyn accused, cornering him in their quarters all too happily.

“I do not!”

”You were moaning ‘harder, Mr. Spock’ on the bridge in front of everyone!”

”That is not what I said!”

”That’s what I told Bones that you said.”

”Oh my god. You traitor. You goddamn traitor,” he said. She wasn’t even fazed. “Why are you so excited about this anyway? I thought you hated Spock.”

”I said I would give him a chance. And he’s been teaching me Suus Mahna.”

”You’re learning Suus Mahna?”

”And you’re avoiding the topic. Which is that you totally have a crush on Spock!”

”I am a grown starship captain, not a high schooler. I don’t get ‘crushes’.”

”Ooh. Sure.”

He flicked her forehead affectionately and she grinned and shoved his hand away.

“Sir, I don’t see your name on any of the shore parties lists,” Yeoman Barrows said.

“Well I may be tired, Yeoman, but I’m not falling apart. Dismissed.”

”Yes sir.”

She left and Spock immediately walked in in her place.

”Mr. Spock. We’re beaming down the starboard section first. Which section would you like to go with?”

”Not necessary in my case, Captain. On my planet, to rest was to rest— to cease using energy. To me, it is quite illogical to run up and down on green grass using energy instead of saving it.”

Jim smiled, he just couldn’t help it. Spock was just so adorable sometimes. Not that he had a crush on him or anything, because he didn’t.

And then Bones commed him with a bad prank/mystery whatever to try and trick him into beaming down to investigate. Jim rolled his eyes affectionately.

He loved the good doctor, he really did, but he worried way too much.

”Something of factual import that I picked up from Dr. McCoy’s log, Captain. We have a crewmember aboard who is showing signs of stress and fatigue— reaction time down 9-12%, associational rating norm minus three.”

”That’s way too low.”

”He’s becoming irritable and quarrelsome, yet he refuses to take rest and rehabilitation. Now, he has that right, but—“

”A crewman’s rights end where the safety of the ship begins. That crewman will go ashore and that’s an order. Who is it?”

Spock looked down at his padd to read from it. “James Kirk.”

That Vulcan bastard.

He had the barest hint of a smile on his face. “Enjoy yourself, Captain. It is an interesting planet. I believe you will find it quite pleasant— very much like your Earth.”

”You are just like your girlfriend, you know that?”

”I shall take that as a compliment, as Nyota is a most admirable individual.”

He couldn’t stop grinning, as much as he wanted to. He didn’t even know why.

Things got weird as hell very quickly on the planet, and Jim suspended shore leave until it was investigated, to the extreme grumbling of the crew.

Bones’ stupid prank turned out not to be a prank, Sulu got a gun and just started shooting at things— trigger happy lunatic that he was— and making vague references to wishing he had a gun like that in his collection, so Jim instantly confiscated it.

He really needed to find out how many weapons Sulu secretly had aboard the Enterprise. He had been putting that off for far too long.

And then Yeoman Barrows got attacked by Don Juan and Finnegan from the Academy showed up and picked a fight with Jim, and in a stroke of truly terrible strategizing, everybody got lost and separated.

Jim was supposed to be looking for Sulu, because god knows what Sulu was doing now.

Instead, he ended up wandering through some stony hills and when he turned a corner, there was Ruth.

”Ruth?” he asked, incredulous.

”It is me, Jim,” she said.

She was wearing the same dress she had worn to their four-year anniversary dinner, the night Jim had proposed. The night she had rejected him and Jim had gone and thrown the ring into the river.

She smiled, approaching, running her hands up his arms to link up behind his neck.

And then she was kissing him.

His comm beeped and he jerked away to answer it.

When he got done talking to Spock, he looked back and Ruth was gone.

There was a tiger, there was a samurai, there was a knight.

The knight killed Bones in front of them all and then Spock declared him to be a mere multicellular casting, similar to a plant.

Jim was damn, damn glad he had cancelled shore leave. He definitely didn’t want Devyn anywhere near here.

God. He would have to tell her that her Uncle Bones was dead. She was fourteen and she had already seen enough death. The loss of Gaila had hit her hard.

Had hit them all hard.

Jim realized he didn’t know much about Orion beliefs surrounding death. Did they have an afterlife? Specific burial rituals? He knows her body had never been recovered— lost along with Vulcan and so many other cadets.

He wished he had known her longer. Had known her family. Hell, he wished she had known her family. She deserved so much better than she had gotten in life.

Jim should have done more, done better by her. She had been so great with Devyn. A small part of him wished she really had been her mom. Sure, they didn’t love each other that way, but they had loved each other. They had been family. Nest-mates, as Orions said.

And just like that, she was there.

Gaila. Beautiful, genius, caring Gaila. She was wearing the skimpy Terran civvies she had always preferred.

She smiled and it was the most beautiful thing Jim had ever seen.

”Gaila,” he breathed. “What are you doing here? How- how is this possible?”

”Anything’s possible, Jimmy,” she said.

”You’re dead.”

She shrugged. “Do I seem dead?”

”You aren’t real.”

”But don’t you want to spend time with me anyway? C’mon, Jimmy, I know you love me.”

He nodded, throat thick. And then he hugged her tight like he never wanted to let go.

She was overly-warm and soft and smelled just like she always had, like Gaila, like the Academy. His nest-mate.

She hugged him back, kissing his cheek and running her fingers through his hair.

”I love you,” she said.

”I love you too.”

And god, how many times had he thought about saying those words to her one last time? About giving her the proper goodbye she deserved the last time he saw her? About pulling all the stops and doing absolutely anything to make sure she got stationed on the Enterprise instead?

He’d have sacrificed his whole Starfleet career in a heartbeat if it meant saving Gaila.

He had thought about it. About how he would have done it. Accept that he was grounded from the get-go and have Bones take Gaila aboard the Enterprise instead of him. It would save her. It would have been fine, someone else would’ve saved Earth, and Gaila would still be alive.

”Marry me,” Gaila said.

”What?”

”Marry me. Jim. We can be a real family, just like you’ve always wanted to have. You can marry me and I can adopt Devyn and we can move in together.”

Jim’s heart caught in his throat.

”You can retire from Starfleet and we’ll move back to Iowa, settle down in your parents’ farmhouse and fix it up all nice. We can have more kids together, little human-Orion hybrids with your eyes and my hair, and Devyn would just love to have little siblings, I know it. You could take a job at that engineering firm and I could be a dance teacher. Everything would be perfect, Jimmy. Marry me. Please.”

Tears slipped down his face against his will. He had never wanted anything so bad in his life. “You’re not real. You’re dead. Nero killed you.”

Gaila looked at him sadly and stroked his cheek. He leaned into the touch, desperate for her, desperate for that life that she described.

Their lips met softly but it felt like stars exploding.

”Captain.”

Jim whirled, and instantly, Gaila was gone. “How long have you been standing there?”

Spock ignored the question. “We have deduced what is causing the manifestations. This planet is similar to old Earth amusement parks. Our thoughts are somehow read and then our desires are created physically as multicellular castings.”

”Our desires?! Bones was killed!”

“Not as such, Captain. Dr. McCoy lives. His casting replicate was killed. He is currently fine and engaged with the company of two chorus girls he met in a cabaret on Rigel II.”

He grinned. “Tell Scotty to start beaming down landing parties. Have the crew prepare for the best shore leave of their lives.”

”And yourself, Captain?”

”Oh, I think I’ll be staying down here for a few days.”

Chapter Text

“Carol Marcus likes you.”

”What?”

”You heard me,” Devyn said.

”Kid’s right,” Bones said. “She keeps looking over here.”

”Maybe she likes you, Bones,” Jim said.

”Yesterday she asked me if you were single,” Devyn said. “So I gave her your comm number and a list of date ideas.”

”What?! Devyn!”

“What?” she asked.

”You could have at least asked me first!”

”You would’ve said no. And you haven’t seriously dated anyone since Ruth. You need to get out there again, Dad.”

”I’m not gonna date my subordinates!”

Bones rolled his eyes. “She’s a senior-staff lieutenant, Jim, not some doe-eyed young ensign. She’s the same rank as most of your bridge crew. The only ones higher up in the chain of command are Spock, Scotty, and myself. And are you planning on asking me out?”

”No!”

Devyn gagged and shuddered. Bones swatted her on the arm.

“Daddy!” an eight-year-old Devyn flung the door to the Riverside farmhouse open and bounced on the heels of her feet. “What’d she say? What’d she say? Is she gonna be my new mommy?”

Jim smiled weakly. “Sorry, sunshine. She said no. She isn’t gonna be your new mommy.”

Devyn’s eyes widened, eyebrows scrunching up. “But-but doesn’t she love us?”

No.

Yes.

Not enough to take on motherhood at age twenty-two. She has goals, you know.

”C’mon, sunshine. It’s late. Let’s get you to bed.”

 “Am I to understand you have initiated a romantic relationship with Dr. Marcus?” Spock asked, moving a pawn.

”Yeah. I mean, sorta. It’s casual. We’re taking it slow.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Devyn informed me that you did not return to your shared quarters last night.”

Jim’s face burned. “Slow emotionally. We’ve been going out for two weeks now, but I’m not sure if it’s actually gonna go anywhere.”

”...I have a query. It may seem rude.”

Jim shrugged. He was pretty much used to that. “Go right ahead.”

”Vulcans do not engage in relationships of a casual nature. What is their purpose?”

He sighed. “It’s not like I don’t want something more serious. I do. But I’ve tried that in the past and it didn’t work out. Not many people want to settle down for life with a twenty-eight year old man who’s already got a high school age daughter.”

One of the many differences between this universe and Ambassador Spock’s. Kirk hadn’t been a teen parent in that universe. And he had ended up with Spock.

Not that Jim blamed Devyn or regretted adopting her in the slightest. But he knew how he was perceived, judged, because of her. He knew how that had changed his life in ways he couldn’t even imagine.

He wouldn’t change that for anything, though. Devyn was the light of his life.

Monogamy was for suckers anyway. His casual thing with Carol was just fine.

And she had already made it clear that she had no intention of ever being a mother, so they both knew where they stood with each other.

Casual and temporary.

”I do not understand.”

”I’m not exactly a catch, Spock.”

”On the contrary. I should think you are a most desirable mate. You have proven yourself to be intelligent, honorable, and of exemplary morals. You have a host of other admirable qualities as well. In addition, you are quite aesthetically pleasing by the standards of humans and numerous other Federation species. One should be honored to become your mate and parent of your child.”

His lips quirked wryly. “Thanks, Spock.”

If only Carol thought like that.

 Jim answered the chime at the door and Carol strode into his quarters, wringing her hands and pacing.

”Carol. Carol, what’s going on? What’s the problem?”

She stopped abruptly and turned to face him, eyes wide and fearful.

”I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

Jim’s heart stopped.

Pregnant. A baby. Jim was going to have another baby.

He was dimly aware that he was grinning like an idiot, like the sun itself had lit up his entire face. He was awestruck.

He took her hands in his and kissed them, then got down on one knee. “Marry me,” he said reverently. “Carol. This is amazing. This is perfect. Please. Marry me.”

For a moment, all Carol did was gape.

And then she laughed.

She pulled her hands out of his grasp. “Marry you? Are you kidding me, Jim? I’m not going to marry you! We barely know each other! Just because you knocked me up—“

”Wait. Wait a second,” Jim said. “You’ll still— I want to be involved in this kid’s life, Carol. One way or another. Please tell me you aren’t going to deny me that.”

She looked at him like he was a lunatic. “I want to get rid of it.”

He was on his feet in an instant. “No! Ple-please no. I’ll do anything. I’ll raise the kid on my own, you won’t have to be involved at all. We can have Bones extract the fetus and put it in an artificial womb. You won’t even have to carry it. I won’t ask for money or anything. It’ll be like it never happened. Please.”

She considered him for an interminably long moment.

Then she nodded and Jim let out the biggest sigh of relief in his life.

”And I want a transfer,” she said. “Captain.”

He nodded immediately.

“Bones, I’m never proposing to anybody ever again. From now on, if someone wants to marry me, they’re going to have to man up and ask me themselves.”

”Shit, kid,” Bones said, sitting up in his office chair. “Tell me you didn’t propose to Carol. You haven’t even been dating for a month! Jim, you couldn’t have expected that to go well.”

He collapsed into a chair, head lolling backwards. “She’s pregnant,” he told the ceiling.

For a long moment, Bones was silent.

”I assume you want to keep it then?”

”Yeah.”

”Is she gonna?”

”No. Yes,” he said, finally looking at his friend. “She isn’t getting an abortion, but she isn’t carrying it either. We want you to take it out of her and put it in an artificial womb.”

”So where does that leave the two of you? You gonna raise it together or split the custody?”

”Neither. I’m gonna raise it. Carol’s getting a transfer.”

 Bones instantly stood up and pulled two glasses and a bottle of whiskey of a cupboard. He poured them both a drink, which Jim accepted gratefully.

”You told Devyn she’s getting a younger sibling yet?”

”Nope. That’s next on the list. Needed to come see you and have a drink first.”

Bones grunted in acknowledgment.

Long minutes passed in silence.

”I’ll help you raise it,” Bones said. “Like it was my own. You aren’t alone, kid.”

Chapter Text

Jim and Devyn peered at the strange mechanical device that held the fetus. Bones flipped a switch and a hologram appeared in the center of the room, glowing green and showing the inside of the device.

There was a little speck in the center.

”The fetus is eleven days old. It’s pretty much a clump of cells at this point. I had to turn the magnification up to max so you could even see the little bugger. I can run a DNA analysis, if you want,” Bones said.

”What would that tell us?” Jim asked.

”Everything. From a medical point of view, we would know viability, paternity, and any possible medical issues or deformities. We would also get more personal information. Sex, eye color, hair color. I can tell you guys that information or I can omit it. You wanna be surprised or you wanna know everything?”

”I want to know literally everything,” Devyn said.

”Yeah,” Jim said. “Can you tell personality traits with that thing?”

”No, genius, it’s not magic. Your kid will actually have to develop a personality,” he said. He typed away at a padd and the controls of the artificial womb. “There. Kid is... 100% human, big shock there. It’s birth will unfortunately unleash another Kirk onto the galaxy. The fetus is 96% likely to be viable within the artificial womb. It’ll probably be carried safely to term.”

”Probably?” Jim asked.

”Probably,” Bones repeated. “No genetic issues. Couple of allergies— again, big shock. Let’s see. Little Bugger is allergic to tree nuts, Rigellian root vegetables, certain chemicals found in Orion makeup products, and latex. Bugger has blond hair and blue eyes—“

”We’re not calling it Little Bugger,” Jim said.

”Oh I’m sorry, what’s the kid’s name then?”

Jim glared.

”As I was saying. Little Bugger has blond hair, blue eyes, and the thing’s a boy.”

”I’m gonna have a little brother?” Devyn asked excitedly.

”Yes ma’am,” he said. “Little Bugger Kirk.”

”Do I get to name it?”

”You can help name it,” Jim said.

Devyn took that as a victory.

 Uhura signed off on the padd for the last time, officially confirming that Kirk and Spock had successfully completed their Mandatory Intra-Departmental Cohesiveness Training.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t relieved. She knew Spock was loyal almost to a fault and he would never cheat on her, but...

But something about how his face looked during the ‘dig it in there Mr. Spock’ incident had bugged her. Almost smug, somehow. She supposed there was nothing wrong with that.

Plus Kirk had the hots for Spock and he wasn’t half as subtle as he thought he was.

In truth, she hadn’t expected it to go so well. She had hoped to get an amiable work environment out of the arrangement. She hadn’t expected Kirk to become the closest thing Spock had to a friend. His best friend, really.

She would have been ecstatic that Spock had made a friend if it had been with anyone other than Kirk. The captain was... tactile. He was overtly sexual and flaunted it. He enjoyed flirting, especially harmless flirting with his friends. He sometimes shot Spock searing looks across the bridge.

But that wasn’t so bad. The bad part was him constantly saving Spock’s life and offering to sacrifice himself for him and how sometimes those looks across the bridge were gentle, almost loving.

That. That Nyota worried about.

She handed the padd back to her captain. “There. You never have to play chess with Spock again.”

He smiled softly. “It wasn’t so bad,” he said. “Actually, Lieutenant? Thank you for setting it up.”

 The landing party followed Sandoval into what seemed to be some sort of office for him.

”Omicron Ceti III is an ideal agricultural planet. We were determined not to suffer the fate of some expeditions before us,” Sandoval said.

A young blonde woman stepped forward, glancing over them all, and then locking eyes with Spock. Her face instantly got a distant, almost sad look to it.

”This is Leila Kalomi, our botanist. Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock,” Sandoval said, introducing them all.

”Mr. Spock and I have met before,” Leila said. “It’s been a long time.”

Spock said literally nothing. Just stared at her. Eventually she got uncomfortable enough to cast down her eyes.

”Mr. Sandoval, we do have a mission here. Examinations, sir,” Jim said.

”By all means, make them,” he said. “I think you’ll find our settlement an interesting one. Our philosophy is a simple one that men should return to a less complicated life. We have few mechanical things here. No vehicles, no weapons. We have harmony here. Complete peace.”

”We’ll try not to interfere with your work,” Jim promised.

Leila led Spock out into the middle of nowhere with the promise that she would explain how they were all alive despite the deadly Berthold rays as long as he followed.

”Its not much further,” she chirped.

”You have not yet explained the nature of this thing,” Spock said.

”It’s basic properties and elements are not important,” she said. “What is important is it gives life, peace, love.”

”What you’re describing was once known in the vernacular as a happiness pill. And you, as a scientist, should know that that is not possible.”

”Come,” she smiled, laying a hand on his arm and leading him further. He followed obligingly.

He may not reciprocate Leila’s romantic interest, but she was a renowned scientist and an individual he respected. He trusted her. If she said that the only way to explain was to show him, then Spock would follow her to the site of such an inexplicable discovery.

She brought him before some flowers. “I was one of the first to find them. The spores.”

”Spores?”

And then he got sprayed in the face with spores.

His face contorted in pain and he pressed his hands against his temples, gasping helplessly as he crumpled to the ground. “No...”

”It shouldn’t hurt,” Leila said.

He curled in on himself, kneeling, feeling such pain like he hadn’t known in his mind since Vulcan’s destruction. “No, I can’t— Please don’t!”

”It shouldn’t be like this. It didn’t hurt us.”

”I am not like you!”

And then the pain eased and Spock was left with nothing.

His mind was gone. His control was gone. He should be panicking.

Leila knelt down beside him, hand cupping his face. “Now, now you belong to all of us. And we to you. There’s no need to hide your true self anymore. We understand.”

Her touch, her emotions were intoxicating. Happiness, joy, peace, and above all else, love.

Spock wrapped a hand around hers. “I love you,” he said. No. That wasn’t right. Not quite. “I can love you.”

He kissed her. She kissed back enthusiastically, and he grabbed her by the shoulders and bore down on her, and she was smiling and laughing and ecstatic the entire time.

They had managed to put their clothes back on after, when they decided that the grass was prickly and some form of a barrier would be beneficial. Now Leila was sitting leaned back against a tree, Spock’s head in her lap while she petted his hair.

”That one looks like a dragon,” Spock said. His communicator was beeping from where it lay discarded in the grass. “See the tail and dorsal spines?”

”I’ve never seen a dragon,” Leila confessed.

”I have,” Spock said. More beeping. “On Barengarius VII. But I’ve never stopped to look at clouds before.”

Beep beep beep.

”Or rainbows.”

The communicator was officially annoying now.

He stood and stared at the sky liking He was trying to soak it all in. “You know, I can tell you exactly why one appears in the sky. But considering it’s beauty has always been out of the question.”

”Not here,” Leila smiled.

Beep beep.

Spock smiled and returned to her, pulling her up by her hands until he could kiss her again and hold her close.

Leila bent down and picked up the offending communicator. Spock continued  showering her face with kisses, holding her still by the back of her neck.

”Spock!”

”Yes, what do you want?” he asked, voice low and impatient.

”Spock, is that you?”

”Yes, Captain, what did you want?” Leila was so soft and beautiful and just utterly kissable. She smiled so frequently. So human.

”Where are you?”

”I don’t believe I wanna tell you.”

”Spock, I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but this is an order. Report back to me at the settlement in ten minutes. We’re evacuating all colonists to Starbase 27.”

”No, I don’t think so.”

”You don’t think so, what?” Jim asked slowly.

”I don’t think so, sir,” he said, amusement tinging his voice.

”Spock, report to me immediately.”

But he was back to kissing Leila now and as the captain was not involved in this activity, he did not matter. Spock dropped the communicator to the ground.

”Spock, acknowledge. Spock!”

Jim tapped at the buttons on his communicator. “The frequency is open, but he doesn’t answer.”

”That didn’t sound at all like Spock, Jim,” Bones said.

”No, it— I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed out a little.”

”I didn’t say that!”

”You said that.”

”Not exactly,” he said. “He might be in trouble.”

”Yeah. Take over the landing party detail. Start getting those colonists aboard.”

”How are you gonna find Spock?”

He held up his communicator. “The frequency is open; it’ll act as a homing device. Contact DeSalle, have him meet you here. Make sure the landing party works in teams of two. I don’t want anybody left alone down here.”

Jim stepped onto the bridge. The whole damn colony was drugged on plant spores and his crewmen were beaming up the evil flowers instead of the colonists. He’d told Sulu to arrest Spock, but Spock just said “very well,” and two seconds later, he’d gotten Sulu infected too.

Even Bones was in his drunk-off-his-ass and overly Southern mode and frankly, Jim was sick of it.

”Lieutenant, put me through to Admiral Komack at Starfleet.”

Uhura turned around from her station, a dopey grin on her face. “Oh I’m sorry, Captain. I can’t do that.”

”What do you mean, you can’t do that? Follow standard procedure. That’s an order.”

He seemed to be pulling rank a lot today.

”Oh, I know it is, Captain.” She smiled. “But you see, all communications are out.”

”Out?”

”I short-circuited them, except for ship-to-surface. We’ll need that for a while,” she walked away towards the turbolift doors, pausing just before them. “It’s really for the best, Captain.”

He found at least thirty crewmen lined up outside the transporter room.

”Go back to your stations,” he said. No one moved. “Go back to your stations!”

”I’m sorry, sir,” Hendorff said. “We’re all transporting down to join the colony.”

”I said get back to your station.”

He shook his head. “No, sir.”

”This is mutiny, mister.”

”Yes, sir. It is.”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut.

Devyn ducked her head out from further up in the line. “Dad?”

”Devyn!”

”Why aren’t you affected by the spores? They’re all over the ship now. They’ve been traveling through the air ducts.”

”I don’t know. Devyn, are you alright? Why are you in line?”

”So I can join the colony?”

”What?!”

”Its peace, Dad. Peace and love. Come with us. Then you’ll see.”

”No! Devyn, get out of that line right this instant!”

”No, I don’t think so.”

”What do you mean, you don’t think so? You can’t just... leave!”

She shrugged. “If you don’t wanna join us, then I’m sure someone else will adopt me. Or I’ll be fine on my own. I’m not that much younger than you were, you know. But Dad, you really should come with us. You’re missing out.”

He reeled back as if struck, never feeling so betrayed in his life. Devyn. Devyn, his daughter, was abandoning him without a second thought. She didn’t care at all.

He ended up mostly stumbling his way out of the corridor.

 The plan was risky to say the least. But Jim had cured himself of the spores through the sheer force of his anger, so he figured (hoped) that would work on Spock too. He couldn’t fix this alone.

But he was not relishing having to emotionally compromise his First Officer a second time.

He was at least prepared this time. When he tricked Spock into beaming back up, he already had a large metal pipe in his hands, ready to attack him with.

He mentally cringed, steeled himself, and moved the pipe aggressively.

”Alright, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed, we’ll see about you deserting my ship.”

Spock stepped off the transporter pad. “The term half-breed is somewhat applicable—“ oh god, Jim was going to have to have a long talk with him about that “—but computerized is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, not a man.”

”What makes you think you’re a man?” he asked. “You’re an overgrown jackrabbit, an elf with a hyperactive thyroid.”

He really needed to work on his insults. It was just— he couldn’t think of anything. Spock didn’t really have any flaws? He was pretty much as close to perfection as a being could come.

Spock smiled, laughing and coming closer. “Jim, I don’t understand—“

”Of course you don’t understand! You don’t have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits.”

McCoy had said something similar to that two weeks ago, about Spock having mathematically perfect brainwaves. Spock had said thank you.

This probably wasn’t going to work. He needed to change tracks.

He needed to get meaner.

”Captain, if you will excuse me—“

”What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother was an encyclopedia?”

”My mother was a teacher. My father, an ambassador.”

He pointed the pipe at him accusingly. “Your father was a computer like his son. An ambassador from a planet of traitors. A Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity.”

He knew enough about Vulcan culture to know that insulting the honor of Spock’s clan would get him from zero to murder as fast as possible.

The happiness had dropped off of his face, replaced with something more sober. “Captain, please don’t—“

”You’re a traitor from a race of traitors. Disloyal to the core, rotten like the rest of your subhuman race, and you’ve got the gall to fuck that girl. What happened to Uhura, huh? You didn’t even have the decency to break up with her first!”

Spock's face was completely impassive now. “That’s enough,” he said, voice low.

”You’re just proving my point, really. You’re nothing but an animal! You’re incapable of love or decency or honor. You just fuck women and leave their broken hearts behind, because nothing fucking matters—“

Spock’s fist slammed down on the metal pipe and bent it cleanly in half. He threw Jim into a wall and advanced on him, a tiger stalking prey. Jim ran just as his fist crumpled a wall panel like paper right where Jim’s head had been.

Spock threw him him around the room hard enough to break things, like he was playing with him, like a music with a captive mouse. He finally got tired of throwing Jim around and yanked up a plastisteel table, hoisting it over his head.

Jim cowered on the ground beneath him, too beat up to move. This was it. Spock was going to kill him for real this time.

Spock paused to relish the sight of his prey accepting defeat. Beautiful. There was such fear in those clear blue eyes, it was intoxicating. He would destroy this man and rip him limb from limb and tear his vile heart out of his chest and—

He struggled with himself. He swallowed and put the table down. 

“Had enough?” Jim asked. “I didn’t realize it would take that much. Damn, Spock. That hurts worse than last time.”

”You did that to me deliberately.”

”Believe me, Spock, it was painful. In more ways than one. I know Vulcans aren’t computers and you’re as capable of love as anyone else. I’ve heard half that stuff directed at Devyn before. I just— I didn’t want to bring your mom into it this time. I guess I sorta did anyway. I honestly thought you would snap a lot sooner than you did. I mean, hell, why didn’t you punch me three words in?”

”I am not a naturally violent person, Captain.”

Jim winced. “I know. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean a single word of that. I won’t blame you if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.”

”Illogical, Captain. You were doing what had to be done.”

”Still. As soon as this mission’s over, we can go to the gym and you can beat the crap out of me and call it sparring.”

”Your masochistic streak aside, I believe we should get back to the matter at hand,” he said. “You were able to override the spores’ influence in myself by initiating a violent altercation.”

”Yeah. It’s the emotion that does it. Violent emotions, namely anger.”

”That may be correct, Captain, but trying to initiate a brawl with over 500 crewman and colonists is hardly logical.”

”That totally wasn’t my plan. I have something else in mind,” he said. “Can you put together a subsonic transmitter, something that we can hook into the communications station and broadcast over the communicator?”

”It can be done.”

”Good. Let’s get to work.”

Chapter Text

“Okay, So I downloaded this book called the Big List of Federation Baby Names, and I’ve been going through the humans section. This is what I like so far,” Devyn said.

”Hit me with it,” Jim said.

“Hero.”

”No.”

”Jetaime.”

”No.”

”Cornwallis.”

”No.”

”Adonis.”

Jim paused. Was it presumptuous/vain to name his child after a Greek god? Because that was one hell of a namesake.

”Pencil that one in as a maybe.”

”Great! Okay, what about Thermopylae?”

Jim burst out laughing.

”What?” Devyn. “It is a registered name that has been used by at least one human boy.”

”Yeah, and probably only one. Come on, kid. You can do better than that.”

“Jamaal.”

”Devyn, he’s white.”

She just looked confused.

”You have to match names to culture. Like, just because it’s a human name doesn’t mean Little Bugger can use. Like, I wouldn’t name him Makoa or Sayid or something. It’s for the same reason why you only looked up human names even though the book lists all the ones in the Federation.”

”Okay,” Devyn looked down at her list in confusion. She had grown up on Earth, after all, she wasn’t completely clueless. She began deleting a large number of names off the list.

A shame, because some of them were really pretty.

”What about Claudius?”

 “Enter,” Nyota said. Spock walked into her quarters.

”I have come here to arrange for the termination of our romantic relationship,” he said.

”Spock,” she said. “Sit down. We’re going to talk about this.”

He obliged, taking the seat across from her. 

“Why do you want to break up with me?”

”I do not.”

”Then why are you?”

”While on Ceti Alpha III, I engaged in sexual relations with Leila Kalomi. This goes against the mutually exclusive terms of our relationship and stains my honor as a Vulcan, for I have betrayed my sworn-one. As such, I have committed an unforgivable offense and have forfeited all rights to claim thee as my mate.”

”Your logic is faulty,” she said.

”I beg your pardon?”

”You didn’t cheat on me because you didn’t choose to. You were drugged, Spock. You never would have consented to have sex with her if you hadn’t been. You don’t need to break up with me. Believe me, Spock, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

He shook his head. “I do not deserve your forgiveness.”

”You don’t need to ask for it in the first place. You were drugged, Leila was drugged, nobody was in their right mind and the whole thing was a big mistake.”

Spock was silent for a moment. “I cherish thee,” he said quietly.

”Taluhk nash-veh k’dular,” she replied. She took his hands in her own. “Are you okay, Spock?”

”I am adequate.”

”No. Really.”

He paused and considered it for a moment. “I suffered no permanent damage,” he said finally. “Nyota. I have no right to ask anything of you.”

”Yes you do, Spock. You always do.”

”My regard for you has been called into question. This is unacceptable. I must prove my devotion to you. I would ask... I would ask for a meld.”

Her heart fluttered. She’d been trying to hint to Spock about melding for months now. But...

”Spock, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to prove anything to me. I know you love me. And I don’t want you to feel pressured to do something you aren’t ready for yet.”

”I am ready.”

”Are you sure?”

He nodded, and she guided his hand to her meld points. And then—

Nothing exceptional really happened.

There was a sense of togetherness, sure, and it was undeniably intimate. But it felt... uncomfortable.

It was not an easy meld. There was resistance on both sides. When Spock sensed slight pain from Nyota, he immediately withdrew.

”I apologize,” he said. “I did not expect that.”

”That— that’s not what all melds are like, is it?”

”Indeed not.”

”What went wrong?”

“Our minds are not quite compatible.”

Dread washed over her like a bucket of ice water. “What does that mean? For us?”

”It means that repeated melds are inadvisable. They could cause headaches and eventually permanent mental damage. A bond between us would be unstable and result in instability of the mind and emotions.”

”We can’t ever get married,” she said. “Not in the Vulcan way. I would never be able to help you through Pon Farr. You would have to take a different bondmate when...”

”Indeed.”

”So I guess this is it, then,” she said, bitter irony in her voice. “You really did come here to break up with me.”

”Nyota, I deeply apologize. It was never my intent to keep in a relationship with no future. Had I known—“

”I know,” she said. “I know. You never would have dated me in the first place.”

”I found our relationship to be most pleasurable and fulfilling.”

”So did I,” she said. “I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss you.”

”Is it not possible for us to remain as friends?”

”Of course, Spock, I’m just going to need some time first. I definitely want to stay friends with you. This wasn’t your fault. But I need to be alone for a while. Have some time to myself.”

He nodded. “Of course. Whatever you need, Nyota.”

 “Enter.”

”Captain,” Spock greeted, coming to parade rest just inside his quarters. “I was wondering if you would be amenable to a game of chess.”

Both Jim’s eyebrows shot up. He had sorta assumed that since their mandatory male-bonding time was over now, the chess games would stop. Spock didn’t seem to hate his guts anymore, but he had never imagined him actually seeking out more of his company.

”Sure, Spock. Of course.” He smiled warmly.

He got out the chess set and raised the room temperature five degrees as they began setting up.

“So Devyn’s turning fifteen in three days and she’s gonna have a small party for it. Whole senior staff is invited and also the two other teenagers who are on board.”

”It was to my understanding that there were three teenagers on board.”

”Chekov doesn’t count. He’s included in the senior staff group, not the civilian teenagers group.”

”Ah. Of course.”

Jim slid a bishop diagonally, an aggressive move that put Spock’s queen in danger. Spock defended it with a pawn, and Jim was forced to retreat.

Spock was grateful that Jim had agreed to this. He did not have many friends, and was loathe to lose another simply due to the end of their “cohesiveness training.” In truth, he did not desire in any way to be alone at this time.

”So we’re gonna be traveling past New Vulcan pretty soon. You wanna stop off there for a bit?”

”For what purpose?”

Jim shrugged. “You and Uhura are getting pretty serious, right? We likely won’t be back in this section of space for a long time. If you want to introduce her to your dad— or, y’know, do anything else while you’re there— then now’s the time.”

Spock moved a pawn. It was not a strategically viable move. But he had no strategically viable moves left, and this one did not outright put any of his pieces in danger.

”I do not believe I will be doing that,” he said.

”Oh. Really? ‘Cuz like I said, we won’t be back around here for a really long time, Spock.”

”I am certain. For one thing, Nyota has already met my father and he has given his wholehearted approval of her. For another, the lieutenant and I have terminated our romantic relationship.”

”What?” Jim’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? When?”

”1.27 hours ago.”

Spock had meditated over it for an hour and then come straight here.

”Why? Wait. Did she dump you or did you dump her?”

”It was a mutual decision on our parts. We engaged in a mind meld. It was not particularly pleasant, and demonstrated our mental incompatibility to one another.”

Jim winced, remembering his own painful mind meld with Ambassador Spock. “Is she okay? Does she need to go to sickbay?”

”The pain was mild. She does not require medical attention.”

”Are you sure? Because when the Ambassador melded with me it hurt like hell, I was gasping and shuddering, I felt like my head was gonna explode. And he just called it emotional transference.”

Spock froze in the middle of moving a rook. “You were engaged in a painful mind meld?”

”Yeah?” He just said that.

”What ambassador was this?” Spock all but spat.

“Um. Your counterpart?”

Spock did nothing but stare at him for two solid minutes, still holding the chess piece just above the board. Jim refused to squirm and met his gaze head-on.

”If you will excuse me Captain, I have just recalled some matters I must attend to. Perhaps we can finish our game another night?”

”Uh, sure.”

And Spock was out the door.

He immediately went to his computer terminal and initiated a vidlink to the colony.

Spock would not say that he was impatient. But his internal chronometer seemed to be malfunctioning as what was only a few moments seemed interminably longer.

Finally his elder counterpart appeared on the screen.

”How dare thee,” Spock immediately said. Selek put down the ta’al, slight smile dropping off of his face.

”What is this in reference to?” he asked.

”You initiated a painful mind meld with the captain.”

”It was never my intention to cause him pain in any way. I cherish his presence.”

”He is not yours to cherish,” Spock snapped.

Selek seemed merely amused. “Am I to presume he is yours, then?”

”The captain belongs unto himself.”

”Indeed. And if he wishes to meld with me, then he may.”

”He does not understand our culture. He does not understand the intimacy of such an act.”

”I believe he understands perfectly well, young one. You have yet to learn not to underestimate him.”

Spock glared and cut off the connection. He leaned back in his seat, arms crossed.

He required meditation.

They had Devyn’s birthday party in a rec room, serving chocolate cake and small Orion pastries that Gaila always used to make.

Jim sipped at a glass of replicated pop and watched his daughter talk to the other two on-board teenagers— a human and a Tellarite, both female and close to her age. He noticed Chekov standing mostly alone, away from everybody.

”Why don’t you go talk to them? Spend some time with some kids your own age, Pavel, it’ll be good for you.”

He huffed. “I am hardly a child, Keptin.”

”You aren’t an adult, either,” he said. “Go on, have some fun. It’s a party, Pavel. Be a teenager for once instead of a Starfleet officer. That’s an order, Ensign.”

Pavel still looked hesitant. Jim ruffled his hair lightly, earning a grin and an instant retreat.

”Pavel!” Devyn said. “This is Gronk and this is Allison. Guys, this is Pavel. He’s an ensign.”

”Whoa, really?” Allison asked. “How old are you?”

”Sewenteen,” he said.

”No way,” she said. “I’m sixteen and I don’t even know what I want to do yet. That’s so cool, Pavel.”

He blushed. “It is nothing.”

”It’s  totally not,” Devyn said. “That’s literally a flat-out lie. He’s the Alpha shift navigator, guys, it’s awesome.”

”Puh,” Gronk snorted. “You can navigate the stars and yet you cannot grow a beard to be a real adult.”

She stroked the beginnings of her own short blonde beard as she said that, small tusks jutting out proudly.

”I-I do not know what to say,” Pavel said.

“Ha! You speak of beards but your own is that of a child,” Devyn said, condescension clear in her voice.

Gronk’s eyes lit up in excitement at the prospect of an argument. “And why should I heed the words of a bald-faced Orion? I know of your people’s customs, their elaborate grooming practices. You could spend all day making yourself pretty but you would still never seem so to a Tellarite.”

”Why would I want to?” she asked. Then she smiled laciviously, trailing her fingers down the Tellarite’s shoulder. “Unless you want me to be attracted to you, Gronk.”

Gronk’s eyes narrowed. “Your pheromones are giving me a headache.”

”That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”

”You act like a human.”

”I was raised by a human on Earth. Of course I act a bit human.”

Then Gronk slipped into speaking Kolari. “It is said that this language is especially good for arguing. Do you speak it?”

”Of course I speak it. It is the tongue of my people.”

”Good. You are strong-hearted and belligerent and I look forward to clashing tusks with you.”

Devyn waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Clashing tusks?”

Gronk rolled her eyes. “Arguing, you over-sexualized Orion fool.”

”If that’s your way of calling me a flirt, I will have you know I am a flirt because I am a Kirk, not just because I’m an Orion.”

”Oh yes, the ship captain’s daughter. He is the one who saved Earth. Does being the child of the species’ most accomplished warrior make you a princess by Earth standards?”

Devyn paused. “No, but it totally should. I would be a great princess.”

“If that is your ambition, you can still marry some young royal.”

”Nah. I’m gonna join Starfleet and be a security officer when I grow up.”

”I have heard of the ancient Orion warriors. You will do your father’s House proud,” she said. “If you make it, that is.”

Devyn tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Of course I’ll make it. And you? What are you going to do?”

Gronk thrust her tusks up a bit in pride. “I will be the most feared lawyer in the Federation.”

Devyn laughed. “In that case, I pity your opponents.”

Gronk smiled just a little bit. “You’re alright for an Orion. I suppose.”

“I guess you’re an okay Tellarite,” she said. “Hey, what happened to Pavel and Allison?”

”They left like, five minutes ago.”

”Oh.”

Chapter Text

“Okay. The baby’s at two months development now, perfectly healthy, but I do have some concerns. First concern is that there’s a risk of premature birth. That’s fairly common for fetuses housed in an artificial womb, and in this day and age, there’s very little risk of losing Little Bugger even if that does happen,” Bones said.

”That’s your first concern? What else is there?” Jim asked.

”I was reviewing the genetic profile and I realized I missed something last time I went over it. There’s a 25% percent chance that Little Bugger will be born blind. You and Carol were both carriers for the gene.”

”Is that... Is there anything you can do about that?” Devyn asked.

”’Fraid not, sugar. If the kid is blind, then he’s blind, and that’s just that.”

Devyn rested a hand on top of the machine.

 Bones stepped onto the bridge, the red alert blaring. Jim immediately pointed to where Sulu laid unconscious on the floor after his console had exploded, Devyn holding his head in her lap, looking worried.

He ran his medical tricorder over him. “Some heart flutter. Better risk a few drops of cordruzine.”

”That’s tricky stuff. Are you sure you want to risk—“

The hypo depressed in Sulu’s neck with a hiss and his eyes fluttered open.

”You were about to make a medical comment, Jim?” Bones asked dryly.

”Who, me, Doctor?” he grinned. Bones could be as smug as he wanted to be as long as he kept Jim’s crew alive.

”We’re  guiding around most of the time ripples now, Captain,” Scotty said from where he had taken over Sulu’s station.

”Mr. Spock?” Jim asked.

”All plotted but one, Captain. Coming up on it now. Seems to be fairly heavy displacement.

The ship shook with the force of the time ripple, sending most people flying and causing Bones to inject himself with the entire hypo of cordruzine.

”Bones!” Jim yelled.

 “Incredible power,” Spock said, laying a hand on the... thing. The rest of the landing party had fanned out to search for McCoy, leaving him and Kirk alone to study the whatever that was producing time ripples. “It can’t be a machine as we understand mechanics.”

”Then what is it?” Jim asked.

The thing lit up colorfully. “A question.” A booming voice rumbled out from it.

”Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I have awaited a question.”

Well thank god, because Jim had a ton of those.

”What are you?” he started with.

“I am the Guardian of Forever.”

”Are you machine or being?”

”I am both and neither. I am my own beginning, my own ending.”

”I see no reason for answers to be couched in riddles,” Spock said.

”I answered as simply as your level of understanding makes possible.”

Spock stared at the Guardian like he wanted to take it apart down to the very molecular level just so he could understand it to his satisfaction. “A time portal, Captain. A gateway to other times and dimensions, if I’m correct.”

”As correct as possible for you. Your science knowledge is obviously primitive,” the Guardian boomed.

”Really?”

Jim suppressed a smirk. “Annoyed, Spock?”

”Behold,” the Guardian said. Ominous mist started drifting down, and inside the Guardian were visions of ancient Earth. “A gateway to your own past, if you wish.”

It turned out that McCoy did wish, and he erased the Federation in the process. The ship. Everyone on it.

Fucking great.

The general plan was that they would either fix time or get lost forever in it, trying.

After all, they had nothing to come back to. Jim told the entire landing to take their turn trying after enough time had passed that it was clear they had failed and gotten trapped in the past.

Scotty wished him luck. Uhura wished him happiness.

They jumped.

 “I’ve seen old photographs of this period,” Jim said. “An economic upheaval had occurred.”

”It was called Depression, circa 1930,” Spock said. “Quite barbaric.”

Two older women passed in front of them and stared. Spock tried to turn his head subtly and scratch above his ear to hide the pointed tip.

”We look just a little bit out of place here,” Jim murmured.

”Even with Terran clothing, I will be hard to explain in any case, Captain.”

”I’m sure I can come up with something.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “That should prove interesting.”

They started walking and almost instantly, Spock almost got run over because— genius that he was— he forgot that this period had ground cars to look out for. The driver screamed insults at them and Jim pulled Spock off the road.

He paused to glance up at some clothes hanging out on a fire escape.

Spock gave him his best disapproving professor look. “Theft, Captain?”

”Whatever it takes, Spock. Lives are at stake here. You remember what I said during my Kobayashi Maru hearing, don’t you?”

He jogged over and climbed up the fire escape easily, picking up a bundle of clothes before shimmying his way back down.

”I think I’m going to like this century. It’s simple. Easy to manage. We won’t have any problems—“

”Ahem.”

A police officer stood there, an old-style gun at his hip and a wooden baton behind his back. Both men instantly froze.

Jim was acutely aware of how lucky he was to live in an age where police were armed with only a phaser locked permanently onto stun. This man was armed to kill.

”Well?”

He had them cornered in this alley, blocking the only way out. They could take him if they needed to, easily, but somehow assualting a police officer in broad daylight didn’t seem like the smartest idea.

”You’re a police officer,” Jim said, clutching the bundle of clearly stolen clothes to his chest. “I recognize the uniform.”

He turned to Spock, who just gave him a dry look. “You were saying you would have no trouble explaining.”

Just throw him under the bus like that, why don’t ya.

”My friend is obviously Chinese,” Jim said. Spock appeared to wince.

No trouble explaining things, sure. Surely not even in Earth’s 1930s was anyone stupidly racist enough to buy that.

But the officer appeared to be buying it, against all odds.

Spock had to be honest, he lost a bit of respect for the human race as a whole in that moment.

”I see you’ve noticed the ears,” Jim continued, dreadfully. At least he was distracting him from their blatant theft that the officer had probably witnessed from beginning to end. “They’re actually easy to explain.”

And then he looked to Spock to explain.

He repressed a sigh. “Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child.”

”The unfortunate accident he had as a child! He caught his head in a mechanical... rice picker.”

Spock gave him a withering look.

”Alright, drop those bundles and put your hands on the wall,” the officer said, officially sick of their shit.

He patted Jim down in a way that seemed to mostly involve punishing grasps on the captain’s hips, and Jim turned half-around with a gasp.

”How careless of your wife to let you go out that way!”

”Quite untidy indeed. Allow me to help,” Spock said, and nerve-pinched him.

 They ended up taking shelter down in a dingy, cobweb-filled basement.

”You were enjoying that,” Jim said accusingly.

”Enjoying what, Captain?”

”Oh, you know what. Watching me flounder. You could have helped, you know.”

”I believe I did,” he said, stripping off his science blue shirt swiftly. “I provided the idea for a childhood accident.”

”Yeah, and that’s it! You left me to come up with everything else!” He stepped out of his pants and turned around to find Spock wearing nothing but his black regulation briefs and thermal undershirt. Jim’s face instantly heated and he turned away. The last thing he needed was to be memorizing the sight of Spock in his underwear and a muscle tee.

He was a professional, godammit, not the sort of sleazy captain who ogled his subordinates.

”Captain, are you alright? You appear flushed.”

”Yeah, that’s just from the— the running from the police.”

”Perhaps you should undergo more intensive endurance training upon our return to the Enterprise. A fit human should be more than capable of making a run of that distance.”

”I’ll work out some more, Spock, don’t worry.”

And now his face was heated with embarrassment.

They finished stripping and redressing in silence, Jim very careful not to look over at Spock again. 

“Time we faced the facts,” Jim said.

“First, I believe we have about a week before Dr. McCoy arrives, but we cannot be certain,” Spock said.

”Arrives where? Honolulu, Boise, San Diego? Outer Mongolia?”

”There is a theory that time is like a river— with currents, eddies, backwash.”

”And the same currents that swept Bones to a certain time and place might sweep us there too,” Jim said, putting it together.

Spock nodded, pleased at his captain’s intellect. Few would be able to come to that conclusion with so little provided information. Spock had expected to be required to explain more. “Unless That is true, Captain, we have no hope.”

He picked up his tricorder and examined it. “Unfortunate. This device could tell us the place and moment of his arrival, even the images of what he did. If I could tie this into the ship’s computers for even a moment, we would know exactly what to do.”

”Couldn’t you just build your own computer here?”

”In this zinc-plated, vacuum-tubed culture?” He raised an eyebrow.

Jim nodded understandingly. “It would take a genius. I would need the foremost scientific mind on the planet to solve such an extremely complex problem in logic.”

Spock said nothing, and Jim shook his head. “I’m sorry, Spock. Sometimes I expect too much of you.”

Spock's eyebrow twitched, and just then a woman appeared at the top of the stairs and flicked on a light. Spock dove across the room and shoved a beanie on his head.

 Jim stepped into their shared apartment with two bags of groceries in hand.

“Captain, I must have some platinum. A small block would be sufficient— five or six pounds.”

Jim turned slowly to look at him, unbelieving. 

“By passing certain circuits through there to be used as a duo-dynetic field core—“

”Spock, I’ve bought you a bunch of vegetables— baloney and a hard roll for me— and I spent the other 9/10s of our combined salaries for the last three days on these supplies you asked for. This bag doesn’t have any platinum in it, or silver, or gold, and it isn’t going to any time soon.”

”Captain, you’re asking me to use equipment which is barely more advanced than stone knives and bearskins.”

”Listen, Spock, Bones gets here in a few days, if that. We have no guarantee of meeting up naturally. This computer needs to be working by then.”

”Captain, at this rate, I might reach the first mnemonic circuits in three weeks, perhaps a month.”

There was a knock on the door and Spock rushed to put the beanie back on, Jim catching Edith as she entered.

”If you can leave right away, I can get you five hours’ work at twenty-two cents an hour,” she said. She looked over his shoulder at the massive, half-built computer. “What-What on Earth is that?”

”I am endeavoring, ma’am, to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins,” Spock said. Jim shot him a glare.

Spock grabbed his coat and they both followed Edith out the door.

They learned a lot about each other, living together. Spock learned that the captain preferred to be called Jim whenever possible. He was restless and always moving even in sleep, and illogically insisted that he get the left side of the bed. He slept remarkably light, and had occasional nightmares that Spock knew it was not his place to pry into.

He knew that the captain— that Jim— slept as little as a Vulcan and consumed more coffee than was medically advisable. He had a most pleasing laugh and his smile reminded Spock of Vulcan’s sun— searing, so bright as to be all-consuming.

He knew that Jim was tactile and friendly and kind to the others he worked with. That he refused to button his plaid shirt more than three quarters of the way up, despite the cold. That he was the most physically attractive being Spock had ever seen when he first woke up in the morning.

And in contrast, Jim learned that Spock hogged the covers and snored lightly on some nights. That he was sassy and looked ridiculously adorable in that stupid beanie.

He learned that Edith Keeler was brilliant and kind and meant for another era. She was too exceptional to be here, a diamond among rocks. That she was demanding and never settled for less than she deserved, and in Jim’s eyes, she deserved the world.

Spock noticed the way the captain seemed to light up entirely around her.

Las’hark.

 “Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler?”

”You? At his side, as if you’ve always been there and always will.”

“How are the stone knives and bearskins?” Jim asked, walking in.

“I may have found our focal point in time,” Spock said. 

“Hey, um, I think something’s burning.”

”Yes. I am overloading those lines. The answer should appear on this screen, Captain.”

”Good.”

”Captain...” he said. He already knew what the answer was. This exercise was merely confirming it. “You may find the answer a bit distressing.”

”Alright. Hit me with it.”

”I’ve slowed down the recording we made from the time vortex,” he said. 

“February 23, 1936. That’s six years from now. ‘The president and Edith Keeler conferred for some time today—‘“

The machine shorted out, sparking horrifically.

Jim grimaced. “How bad?”

”Bad enough.”

Great.

”The president and Edith Keeler.”

”It would seem unlikely, Jim. A few moments ago, I read a 1930 newspaper article—”

”We know her future. Within six years from now, she’ll become very important, nationally famous.”

”Or, Captain, Edith Keeler will die this year.”

Jim froze.

”I saw her obituary,” Spock said. “Some sort of traffic accident.”

”No. No, you’re wrong. That’s impossible. They can’t both be true.”

”Edith Keeler is the focal point in time we’ve been looking for, the point in time that both we and Dr. McCoy have been drawn to.”

”So basically the whole of history changes depending on wether Edith Keeler dies or not?!” He paced the room, hands running through his hair. “Fuck, Spock. Which is it, then? Is she supposed to live or die?”

“Spock. I’m in love with Edith Keeler.”

”I’m sorry, Captain. But Edith Keeler must die.”

And at the stricken, devastated look on Jim’s face, Spock really was sorry.

Chapter Text

The first thing Jim did when he beamed back up was head straight to his quarters to go and hug Devyn.

”Dad?” she asked, arms wrapped around him. “Is something wrong? What happened?”

”Oh...” he laughed bitterly. “I travelled back in time for a month, fell in love with a woman, and then killed her to save the timeline. Pretty bad day, all in all.”

Devyn nodded. “I’m gonna get Uncle Bones. You need him.”

The landing party rushed in to find Dr. Aurelan Kirk screaming her lungs out.

”They're here! They’re here! Keep them away! Please!”

She clutched at her head madly, pulling on her hair, screaming and sobbing. Jim wrapped her in a tight, encompassing hug and Bones stabbed her with a sedative hypo. Jim gently laid her down on a nearby chair.

McCoy went to inspect the dead bodies.

And then—

“Is this your brother, Jim?”

“Both Aurelan and Peter are in extreme pain. I sedated them pretty heavily, but your sister-in-law seems to have a high tolerance. The tranquilizer hasn’t affected her much.”

”Can she talk?”

”Yes.” Bones nodded.

They made their way over to her biobed and Jim took a seat next to her.

”Aurelan,” he said. “Aurelan. It’s Jim.”

”Jim? Sam, he’s—“

”He’s dead.” Jim clasped her hand in his own. “But your son’s still alive. You’ve got to help us.”

”You are here. It is you, Jim.”

”Yes, I’m here,” he said. “You have to tell us what happened, Aurelan.”

”They came eight months ago.”

”Who came?”

”Things. Horrible things.” Her pain seemed to be getting worse the more she spoke. “Visitors brought them in their vessel from another planet. Egrabie.”

”What kind of things?”

”Not the ship’s crew’s fault. The things made them bring their ship here.”

”Aurelan, it’s important that you tell us what kind of things.”

”Not their fault.”

She let out a broken, screaming sob that seemed to go on forever, the measures above her biobed inching up into the red zone. McCoy gave her another hypo. Her face was pale and drenched in sweat. Finally, the pain seemed to ease.

”It’s like she’s fighting to answer your questions, Jim. Like something is causing her pain to get her to stop.”

”They use it to control us,” she said. “They’re spreading, Jim. They need us to be their arms and legs. They’re forcing us to build ships for them. Don’t let them! Don’t let them go any further!”

She screamed, arched, and dropped back against the biobed. All her vital signs plummeted into the red zone.

This was too much. In the span of one week, Jim had lost three people he cared about. He was personally responsible for the death of the woman he loved. He never even got to say goodbye to his brother. And now he had to watch helpless as his sister-in-law died of agonizing pain.

This was too much. This was too much.

He laid her limp hand back down on the biobed and stood. His ears were ringing. This was insane.

Peter was still writhing slightly in pain on the next biobed over.

”Peter?” he asked Bones.

“I’ll do everything I can to save him.”

 Then things got worse.

”How is he?”

”To be honest, Jim, I don’t know if there’s anything I can do for Spock or for your nephew.” He held up a jar full of liquid and some floating thing that he had brought onto the bridge, for god’s sake. “They’re pieces of some living tissue. I removed one from Spock’s spinal cord. The other from your sister-in-law’s body. They’re both the same. The boy’s far too weak to touch. Besides, removal of the tissue won’t stop the pain anyhow, as far as I can tell.”

”Did you operate on Spock in time?”

”No. I just removed these for examination. His body’s full of these tentacles, entwining and growing all through his nervous system.”

”My nephew?”

”The same,” Bones said. “Evidently, when the creature attacks, it leaves a stinger like a bee or a wasp, leaving one of these in the victim’s body. It takes over the victim very rapidly, and the entwining is far, far too involved for conventional surgery to remove.”

”Recommendations?”

”I’m sorry, Jim.”

 “I’m sorry, Jim. I’ve tried everything I can. Variant radiation, intense heat even as great as 9000 degrees.”

”Then you’re wasting your time. There has to be something that’ll kill the creature without destroying the human host.”

”Which happens to be my point. The thing won’t die, even at temperatures and radiation that would burn Spock and your nephew to ashes.”

”I can’t accept that, Bones. We’ve got fourteen science labs aboard this ship. The best computers and equipment in the galaxy.”

”Captain...” Bones started. “I understand your concern— your affection for Spock, the fact that your nephew is the last survivor of your brother’s family—“

”No. No, Bones! There’s more than two lives at stake here. We can’t let this thing spread past the Deneva colony, even if it means destroying a million people down there. Do you understand?” he asked. “Now find me a goddamn cure, Doctor!”

“We’ve tried heat, light... What other properties does the sun have?” Jim asked.

”It exists physically,” Spock said.

”Jim, this is hopeless,” Bones said.

Devyn looked between them all. “You idiots. It’s bright. The sun is bright.”

 “Captain,” Spock said, approaching. “You’ll need a host for the next step in the test, to determine whether the creature can be driven from the body. I am the logical choice.”

”Do you know what one million candlelight per square inch will do to your optic nerves?” Bones asked quietly. Jim had never heard him speak quietly to Spock.

”There’s no other way, Bones,” he said. “We have to duplicate the brilliance that existed at the moment the Denevan declared himself freed.”

”Alright. I’ll rig up a pair of protective goggles.”

”There will be none on the planet’s surface, Doctor,” Spock said. Unselfish to the last.

”I agree completely,” Jim said.

“Unfortunately, you’re both right,” McCoy said. “It’s the only thing we can do. Alright, Mr. Spock.”

Spock stepped into the light chamber and took his seat. The last thing he saw was McCoy pulling the door shut on him, a grim look on his face.

If he was to be blinded, he could have wished for one last brilliant Jim smile, illogical as that was.

Bones took his place at the controls. “Spock’s the best First Officer in the ‘Fleet,” he said.

Don't make me disable him.

“Proceed,” Jim said.

The procedure was over within seconds.

”Spock, are you alright?”

”The creature within me is gone. I am free of it, and the pain,” he said. “I am also... quite blind.”

Jim came up behind him and grasped him by the arms, halfway to being a hug.

”An equitable trade, Doctor. Thank you,” Spock said.

McCoy looked like he had just kicked his puppy.

Jim helped Spock into a seat and Chapel came by with the test results on the creature’s remains. McCoy read through, looking for all the world like he had just seen a ghost.

“Oh no,” he said.

”What is it?” Jim asked.

”I threw the total spectrum of light at the creature. It wasn’t necessary. I didn’t stop to think that more than one kind of light might have killed it.”

”Interesting,” Spock said. “Just as dogs are sensitive to certain sounds which humans cannot hear, these creatures evidently are sensitive to light which we cannot see.”

Jim, personally, didn’t think that was interesting at all.

He turned to his best friend, voice perfectly calm and burning with slow rage. “Are you telling me it wasn’t necessary to blind Spock?”

Bones nodded. “I didn’t need to throw the blinding white light at all, Jim,” he said. He sounded heartbroken. “Spock, I—“

 “Doctor, it was my selection as well. It is done.”

”Bones,” Jim said. He was simmering with rage that he tried to clamp down on.  It wasn’t Bones’ fault. Not any more than it was his own.

He would have to accept that he had just permanently blinded his First Officer and friend. Because he didn’t think to wait and further analyze the goddamn test results.

God, Spock must hate him. He sure hated himself.

”Take care of him,” he said, leaving. He couldn’t stand to be around them and he was pretty they didn’t want him around either.

It was for the best.

“Sickbay,” he said, pressing the intercom button on the captain’s chair.

”Yes, Captain?”

”Tell Spock... it worked.”

Silence.

”Bones,” he said. “Bones, it wasn’t your fault.”

It was mine.

Spock strode onto the bridge, steps quick and sure.

”Spock,” Jim said, walking up to him. He felt breathless. He couldn’t believe this. It was too good to be true. “You can see.”

”The blindness was temporary, Jim,” McCoy said, folding his arms and staring at the Vulcan. “There’s something about his optical nerves which aren’t the same as a human’s.”

”A hereditary trait, Captain,” Spock said. “The brightness of the Vulcan sun has caused the development of an inner eyelid, which acts as a shield against high-intensity light. Totally instinctive, Doctor. We tend to ignore it, as you ignore your own appendix.”

He finished his statement with a smug Vulcan smirk. Jim was torn between slapping him and kissing him.

He decided to go for pointed teasing instead.

”Mr. Spock,” he said. “Regaining eyesight would be an emotional experience for most. You, I presume, felt nothing?”

And then Spock, thank god, teased back. “Quite the contrary, Captain. I had a very strong reaction. My first sight was the face of Dr. McCoy bending over me.”

Uhura bit her lip and looked over to Bones, who scowled.

”It’s a pity your brief blindness didn’t increase your appreciation for beauty.”

”I assure you, Doctor, I am quite capable of recognizing beauty when it is present. Several of the crewmembers in the nearby vicinity are quite beautiful. You, however—“

”Finish that sentence, Spock, and I’ll make you regret being born. What the hell would you know the emotional appreciation of beauty anyway? I oughta—“

”Sulu!” Jim called out. “Lay in a course for Starbase 10. Warp 2.”

Jim sat in Bones’ office, nursing a glass of whiskey with the good doctor.

”This mission is kicking my ass, Bones,” he said. “You know today’s the one year anniversary of when we shipped out? One year. And in that time... God, it’s just been one thing after the other.”

”It won’t stay like this, Jim,” he said. “The last few months have been rough. But things’ll even out. You just gotta give it time.”

”What am I gonna do if the baby’s born blind, Bones?” he asked. “I don’t know anything about raising a blind kid.”

”You didn’t know jack shit about raising an Orion either, and you managed that all right. Even if Little Bugger is blind, you aren’t alone in this. Don’t ever think that you are.”

”I know, Bones. You’ve been like a second parent to Devyn. I don’t what I’d do without you. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I should marry you.”

”Aw, come on now, Jimmy. What happened to no more proposing?” he drawled.

Jim laughed, but he hadn’t really been joking. Was it possibly to marry someone platonically? Because he honestly wanted to. Some formal best bros for life ceremony in which they exchanged vows and went to a strip club after and then Bones formally adopted Devyn. Yeah, that’d be nice.

He should leave before he got drunk enough to actually say that. He’d never live it down.

Bones held up his glass in a toast. “May next year be better than this one. God knows it’d have to be.”

Chapter Text

Devyn crept into their quarters wearing a bikini and drenched head to toe in mud. She jumped when she turned around and saw Jim standing there.

”Devyn,” he said. “Why are you covered in mud?”

She jutted her chin up defiantly. “Gronk and I had a traditional Tellarite mud bath. It’s a very important part of their culture, Dad. It would’ve been extremely rude to refuse.”

”Oh, so this was Gronk’s idea?”

”Yep.”

”Uh-huh. And what’d you do with the mud?”

”What do you mean?”

”You somehow managed to find mud on a starship, which I’m not even going to question—“

”We replicated it.”

”What?”

”We replicated one hundred gallons of mud.”

”...How long did you spend programming that?”

She shrugged. “Like ten minutes. It only took some slight modifications to the replicator code for coffee.”

”Okay. The mud. The hundred gallons of mud that you replicated. Where did you put it?”

”In the hot tub.”

He paled. “Devyn. Tell me you didn’t ruin the ship’s hot tub by having a mud bath in it.”

”Okay.”

”You did, didn’t you?!”

”Yeah,” she said. She at least had the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry.”

”Okay,” he sighed. “You and Gronk are going to personally haul every drop of mud out of that hot tub and throw it out an airlock. I don’t care if you have to move it one teaspoon at a time. You’re going to scrub that thing top to bottom and repair any systems you broke. Alone. No using your pheromones to get a yeoman or engineer to do it for you.”

”Can I at least ask Scotty for help?”

”You can ask Scotty for instructions, but you’re doing those repairs yourself, Devyn. I’m disappointed in you.”

He was pretty sure he had heard dads on TV say stuff like that before. He was pretty sure it was a good move.

Devyn was looking down at the floor now. “I’m sorry,” she said.

”It’s okay. Just next time please engage in less destructive cultural rituals,” he said. “And go take a shower, sunshine, you’re dripping mud all over the floor.”

She nodded and scurried into the bathroom.

 Jim went to visit Gronk’s father.

Groval was a burly security officer with a long, full beard. He was huge for a Tellarite— almost the size of a human. And Jim knew from field experience that he was one hell of a fighter.

He knocked on his door politely, and it immediately opened.

Groval’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Captain.” He grabbed his phaser off a nearby table. “Has there been a security breach?”

”No, no, Lieutenant. I’m here on personal business. You can put the phaser down,” he said. “Can I come in?”

”Of course, Captain.”

”It’s Jim,” he said. “So you know how our daughters are friends, right?”

He nodded.

”Well, apparently they got the bright idea to have a traditional Tellarite mud bath in the ship’s hot tub and ended up ruining it. Now, I’m having Devyn clean and repair it herself. I know it’s none of my business, but I thought you might want to punish Gronk similarly.”

Groval laughed. “I suppose. I remember pulling many similar stunts when I was a young boy, though, and I’m sure you do too, Captain. We shouldn’t be too harsh on them. They are teenagers, after all.”

He smiled. “Yeah, of course. I just want them to fix up the stuff they broke. Is that okay with you?”

”Of course, Captain,” Groval said. “You know, if you ever need any help or advice with parenting, feel free to ask. My oldest son is about your age. I do have to say, you seem to be doing a remarkable job of it.”

He kept his smile in place. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

 “This is stupid,” Gronk said. She and Devyn were making their eighteenth long trek from the ship’s pool room to the nearest airlock, heavy buckets full of mud in hand.

”It was your stupid idea,” Devyn reminded her.

“It’s gonna take forever to get all the mud out of the jets.”

Devyn nodded grimly. She set her buckets down and typed in the code for the airlock, swiping a lock of curly out of her face in the process.

”Well, next time is my turn,” she said. They both shoved their buckets into the small room, closed it back up and opened the outer door. Four more buckets of mud got sucked into the vacuum of space. “We’ll have a Terran sleepover and I get to do Orion grooming stuff with your hair. I am a child of two cultures, after all.”

They walked back to the pool room, hands brushing slightly on the way. Devyn took Gronk’s hand in her own, making the Tellarite glance up at her in shock.

And then she blushed and Devyn grinned.

 “Uncle Bones, can I talk to you?”

”Sure thing, sugar, have a seat.” He gestured to the one across from his desk.

She sat. “You were married once, weren’t you?”

”Yep. Real long time ago and for all the wrong reasons. I only proposed because Jocelyn got pregnant. That’s probably why it didn’t work out.”

”Like Dad did with Carol.”

”Yeah, exactly like that. There is a lesson to be learned there, kiddo. Don’t you forget it.”

”I won’t,” she smiled. “But, um. How did you ask her out?”

Bones stared at her. “This about that Tellarite girl you been hanging around with?”

She blushed deep green in answer.

”Does your dad know you like this girl?”

”No. And no offense to Dad or anything, but I’m not exactly going to come to him for relationship advice.”

”Smart move. He asks me the same questions you do. Best just to cut out the middleman and come straight to me.”

”Its just... I really like her. And I’m not sure if it’s a friendship like or a like-like. Y’know? ‘Cuz we pretty much just act like you and Spock— we’re friends, we argue, we flirt—“

”Now wait just a gosh darn second there,” he said. “I am not friends with that hobgoblin. And I certainly don’t flirt with him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, Uncle Bones, sure. You and Dad totally never flirt with Spock and the whole ship totally doesn’t talk about it constantly.”

Bones choked on air and visibly paled. “I’m dying. I’m dying,” he croaked.

Devyn fucking laughed at him, and he shot her his best glare, face rapidly turning red now.

”I am disowning you, both as your uncle and as your godfather, you know. See if I give you romance advice after this, you ingrate.” A thought occurred to him. “You said the ship talks about it. How would you know?”

She mock-gasped, laying a hand on her chest. Bones swore she looked just like her father in that moment. “Are you accusing me of starting rumors, Uncle Bonesy? I’ll have you know I am simply an all-knowing, omnipotent being aware of everything that happens on this ship, because Pavel is the crew’s biggest gossip and he tells me everything.”

He shook his head. “Who’s bright idea was it to let teenagers on a starship anyhow? And this ain’t about me or your lies. This is about your embarrassing crush on a Tellarite.”

As expected, that shut Devyn up and made her blush. McCoy softened.

”Look, kid, just go with the direct approach. Walk up to her and if she’d like to go on a date with you. That’s all there is to it. And if she says no, you come to me and I have a box of Andorian chocolate with your name on it. Got it at Starbase 10 and it’s not even replicated.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Uncle Bones.”

 Devyn walked into their quarters and immediately slumped against the door. Tears sprung in her eyes, and she let them fall.

”Devyn?” Jim asked. “Devyn, sunshine, what’s wrong?”

”I asked Gronk out,” she said, voice bitter and choked with tears. “She’s straight.”

”Oh. Oh, sweetie, come on, sit down. Let me replicate you some hot cocoa,” he said.

He had known this would happen. Well, not this specifically, but everyone got their heart broken by a straight person at least once. It was practically a rite of passage.

He got the cocoa and sat down on the couch next to her. “What happened?”

”Nothing. Just— nothing. I asked her out, and she said she was straight and it was so awkward, Dad, it was the worst. And then she got super weird about it and I don’t think she’s my friend anymore. I ruined everything, Dad. God.” She hugged a pillow to her chest. “Now I’m that gross gay girl who scares her straight friends. I’m literally the worst.”

”Hey. Shh,” he said, pulling her into a hug. He stroked her back in slow, soothing circles. “You aren’t the worst. And you aren’t gross for liking girls. I’m sure Gronk doesn’t think that. I sure don’t think that. You just give it a day or two and everything will calm down and go back to normal. I’m sure Gronk won’t stop being your friend just because you asked her out.”

”I really thought she liked me,” she said. “She— we flirted. I thought— I mean, we held hands, or... I held her hand. God.”

”Sometimes straight girls are like that with their friends. You’ll get better at being able to tell. Don’t worry.”

For a while, they just sat there, Devyn sipping her cocoa and Jim rubbing her back.

”Dad,” she said. “I think I’m a lesbian. I mean— I know I used to say that I was bi, but um, I don’t think I actually like boys. I just thought I did. Like-like I was supposed to? I don’t know. It’s just—“ she swallowed. “I’m gay.”

He smiled gently. “It’s okay. It’s perfectly fine if you’re still figuring things out. You’re only fifteen, Devyn. Not everyone is sure about things right off the bat. It’s fine if you’re gay. I’m definitely not gonna judge you; it’s not like I’m straight either. I love you no matter what, sunshine. Forever and always.”

She smiled and snuggled deeper into the hug. “I love you too, Dad.”

Chapter Text

“Hey Dad, can you teach me like, street fighting techniques?”

”Um?”

”I mean, if you don’t wanna, I can always ask Hendorff—“

”No, I’ll teach you, it’s just— Why are you learning all this stuff? It just seems a bit paranoid. You know that you’re safe here, right? You don’t need to be learning Suus Mahna with Spock—“

”And how to use a lirpa and ahn woon.”

”...Right. And Sulu told he’s been teaching you how to use a sword?”

”Three different types of swords actually: a rapier, a broadsword, and a katana.”

”Yeah, you really don’t need to be learning that. It’s just— what’s going on, sweetie? Did somebody threaten you or something?”

“No no, nothing like that,” she laughed. “It’s just, um... I’m thinking about joining Starfleet.”

”Starfleet’s not that militarized, kiddo, knowing one form of martial arts is more than enough. Besides, if you go into command track, they have you take all the combat courses you need anyway.”

”I... wasn’t planning on going into command.”

”Then why all the martial arts? It’s the only track that needs it.”

”Not the only track.”

He stared at her in confusion. Then understanding dawned.

His eyes widened and then narrowed just as quickly.

”You’ve neglected your most important area of study,” he said. “If you’re gonna do this, you gonna do it right, and like hell am I letting you get shipped out unprepared.”

”What?” she asked. “I haven’t forgotten anything major. Except strategy and tactics, but I’ve been trying to read up on that and it’s what the majority of my classes at the Academy will be on anyway—“

”That’s not what I’m talking about.” He unholstered his phaser and pressed into her hands. “You need to learn how to shoot.”

 The Enterprise has a target practice range for officer training, put in by Archer’s original crew.

True father-daughter bonding is putting on protective goggles against the laser glare and then shooting the shit out of some humanoid-shaped targets.

”You should’ve told me you wanted to join Starfleet,” Jim called over the sound of rapid phaser fire. “We coulda been doing this ages ago. Plus the Academy has an early entrance program for advanced youths. It’s how Chekov became a cadet when he was fourteen. I can get you in there, you can start taking your classes right here on the ship through correspondence.”

”How would that work?” Devyn shouted over a blast of phaser fire. “What about the combat courses?”

”Those can be supervised by a commissioned officer with equivalent training.” He slammed down on the button to make the targets move faster.

”Hey!” Devyn said. “I was barely keeping up with it earlier!”

”I know, and you aren’t hitting the center of the targets either,” Jim said. “You need to get a hell of a lot more accurate and you need to be able to shoot beings that move faster than Orions can. If you’re gonna be a security officer, then you’re damn well gonna be the best one in the ‘Fleet. Now speed up and keep your eye on the targets.”

She set her jaw and fired.

 Devyn winced and limped slightly into sickbay. Bones, M’Benga, and Chapel pounced on her instantly, a veritable flurry of parental concern and hovering. She was all but shoved onto a biobed and was instantly being scanned by two different people and dermally regenerated by a third.

”What the hell happened, Devyn?” Bones asked. “Who did this to you?”

”No one!” she said. “Really, I’m fine. And there’s no reason to tell my dad about this, okay?”

”Like hell!” Bones yelled. “You tell me what happened right this instant or so help me, I will call your father down and you can explain it to him.”

”I tripped over a table and fell.”

McCoy scoffed in disgust. He pointed to a particularly large bruise on her arm. “That is from somebody’s fist. You think I haven’t seen these types of injuries before? Just last night I had to patch them up on your father and half a security team. Somebody beat you up. Now, who the hell was it?”

She bit her lip. “It wasn’t like that, okay? We were just sparring and it was a bit more intense than usual.”

”You mean violent,” he snapped. “Who was it?”

”I—“

The three adults simultaneously gave her their best, sternest glares. She looked down at the ground.

”It was Spock.”

 “Medbay to Mr. Pointy Ears.”

Spock stabbed at the comm button. “Doctor, that is hardly a regulation form of address.”

”I don’t give a shit, Spock. Get your ass down here or I’ll hypo you and have security drag you into a biobed and chain you there. ... Shut up Devyn! That’s inappropriate!”

Rage boiled under Spock’s skin, and he stormed to medbay, ensigns and yeomen skittering out of the way like startled rats as he approached.

”You wanted to see me?” he asked, barely repressing the urge to clench his fists.

”Yeah, I got some things to say to you.” McCoy stood at the edge of his personal space, folding his arms and glaring up at him, no doubt trying to appear intimidating. “First of all, who the fuck do you think you are?”

Spock’s fingers twitched with the urge to strike.

”I am Spock,” he said, with what he thought was remarkable calm. He recognized the Terran challenge to battle, of course. But he would not rise to it. It would be immoral to kill this man, as much as Spock desired to.

McCoy rolled his eyes. “I know that, dummy. What I mean is, where do you get off beating up a fifteen-year-old girl? What sort of sick freak are you? And you beat up Jim and an entire security team while sparring last night too. Are you having some sort of mental breakdown? Is that what this is?”

”I assure you, Doctor, it is of no concern to you.”

”Of no concern?! I’ll show you no concern! You get on that biobed right now, I’m gonna run every test in the book on you, including all the mental ones. Don’t think I won’t bring Dr. Dehner in here.”

”There is no need for such extreme measures, as I do not suffer from any abnormal health maladies, mental or physical.”

”How about I be the judge of that, since I’m the one with a medical license here? You’re about due for a physical anyway. Full work up will do you good.”

”You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck.”

He turned on his heel and stormed back out.

 “Captain! Got a minute?” Bones called, jogging to catch up with him in the corridor.

”A minute,” Jim stressed.

”It’s Spock,” he said. “Have you noticed anything strange about him?”

”No, not really. Why?”

”Well, it’s nothing I can prove without an examination, but something about him is off. He’s been restive. If he weren’t Vulcan, I’d almost say he was nervous. And for another thing, he’s avoiding food. I checked his meal card and he hasn’t eaten anything in the past three days.”

Jim grimaced. “Unfortunately, that’s not particularly unusual for him. He gets like that sometimes. Probably just has a really interesting science experiment going on.”

Uhura used to keep tabs on that sorta thing and make sure he took care of himself, but then they broke up, and Jim wishes he was close enough to Spock to step up into her place. He didn’t want to push any boundaries, but shit like that scared him. And whenever he tried to subtly hint Spock would just brush him off, and being more obvious just got him dismissed more forcefully.

Captain, I assure you, Vulcans do not require as much sustenance as humans do.

He’s half-human, that asshole. Jim worries.

Chapel approached, tray in hand, then saw the two of them and turned the other way.

“Chapel!” Bones called out. Jim started to walk away, but Bones called him back too. “What’s this?” He lifted the little lid over the dish. “Oh! Vulcan plomeek soup. And I’ll bet you made it, too. You never give up hoping, do you?”

”Well, uh, Mr. Spock hasn’t been eating, Doctor. I was there with you in medbay, you know.”

”it’s alright. Carry on, Miss Chapel.”

She smiled and buzzed for entry to Spock’s quarters.

”Bones, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m super busy right now, and Spock is pretty much always like this—“

”Jim, last night he took out you and six other guys. You all ended up in medbay with minor wounds.”

”Minor wounds. And I don’t want him going easy on us in the first place. If me and my crew can’t take one pissed-off Vulcan, then we have no business being on the flagship anyway. We can handle getting a little roughed up.”

”Well, he ‘roughed up’ your daughter too.”

Jim froze. “What?”

”Devyn came into medbay this morning looking just a little better than you did last night,” he said. “And Jim, when I suggested to him that it was time for his routine check-up, your logical, unemotional First Officer turned to me and said ‘You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck’.”

”Spock said that?”

”What is this?” Spock yelled from inside his quarters. Christine screamed as she was shoved out of the room.

A bowl of purple soup splattered on the opposite wall.

”Don’t keep prying! If I want anything from you, I’ll ask for it!” Spock yelled, practically chasing her into the hall. He came to a halt when he spotted Jim. “Captain, I should like to request a leave of absence on New Vulcan. At our present course, we can divert there with but a loss of 2.8 light days.”

”Spock, what the hell is going on here?”

”I have made my request, Captain. All I require of you is that you answer it— yes or no?”

“You changed our course for New Vulcan, Mr. Spock, why?”

”Changed course?”

”Are you denying it?”

”No. No, by no means, Captain. It is entirely possible.”

”Why did you do it?”

”Captain, I accept on your word, that I did it, but I do not know why, nor do I remember doing it.”

The turbolift doors opened, and Spock turned to face him. “Captain, lock me away. I do not wish to be seen. I cannot. No Vulcan could explain further.”

”I’m trying to help you, Spock.”

”Ask me no further questions. I will not answer.”

”I order you to report to medbay.”

”Medbay?”

”You’re getting a complete examination. McCoy’s waiting for you.”

 “McCoy has given me his complete medical evaluation. He says you’ll die unless something is done. So tell me. What needs to be done?”

Spock looked away, forcing himself to drag his eyes away from that mouth, that beautiful mouth that so desperately needed to be claimed.

”Is it something only your planet can do for you?” he asked. “You’ve been called the best First Officer in the ‘Fleet. That’s an enormous asset to me. If I have to lose that First Officer, I wanna know why. If I have to lose my friend, I wanna know why.”

Spock stood from his desk to go stand by his meditation alcove, covered in red tapestries and Vulcan artifacts.

”It is a thing no outworlder may know, except those very few who have been involved. A Vulcan understands, but even we do not speak of it among ourselves. It is a deeply personal thing? Can you see that, Captain, and understand?”

”No, I don’t understand. Explain. And consider that an order.”

”Captain, there are some things which transcend even the discipline of the service.”

”Would it help if I told you I’d treat this as totally confidential?”

”It has to do with... biology.”

”What?”

”Biology.”

”What kind of biology?”

”Vulcan biology,” Spock said, and did he just roll his eyes?

”You mean the biology of Vulcans?” he asked, and Spock gave him a pained look. “Biology as in... reproduction?”

He was going to die because of a sex thing?

Spock nodded curtly.

”Well, uh, there’s no need to be embarrassed about it, Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees.”

This was getting to be disturbingly similar to an equally awkward conversation he had with Devyn once. Jim really didn’t want to give some fucked-up version of the talk to a thirty-two year old Vulcan Starfleet officer.

If that was at all what this was.

”The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, Captain. If they were— if any creature as proudly logical as us were to have their logic ripped from them as this Time does to us...” he trailed off. “How do Vulcans choose their mates? Haven’t you ever wondered?”

“I guess the rest of assume that it’s done... logically.”

”No,” Spock said. “No. It is not. We shield it with a ritual and customs shrouded in antiquity. You humans have no conception. It strips our minds from us. It brings a madness which rips away our veneer of civilization. It is the Pon Farr, the Time of Mating.”

Spock continued. “There are precedents in nature, Captain— the giant eel birds of Regulus V. Once each eleven years they must return to the caverns from which they hatched. On your Earth, the salmon. They must return to that one stream where they wore born to spawn or die in trying.”

”But you’re not a fish, Spock, you’re—“

”No. Nor am I a human,” he said. “I’m a Vulcan. I’d hoped I would be spared this, but the ancient drives are too strong. Eventually, they catch up with us and we are driven by forces we cannot control to return home and take a wife, or die.”

”I didn’t hear a single word of that,” Jim promised. “And I’ll get you to New Vulcan somehow.”

Jim did not think of his First Officer and friend in a sexual way whatsoever. Until now.

Now it was all he could think, and he knew that no matter how turned on he got, Spock would be even moreso, and for some reason that was unbelievably hot.

“Captain, there is a thing that happens to Vulcans at this time. Almost an insanity, which you would no doubt find distasteful.”

He had a feeling he would it arousing and hot as hell. But yeah, Spock was probably right, ‘tasteful’ wouldn’t be his word of choice.

”Will I?” he asked, because he couldn’t resist. McCoy cast his eyes heavenward, as if praying for strength. To cover his ass, Jim added, “You’ve always been patient with my kinds of craziness.”

”Then would you beam down to the planet’s surface and be with me? There is a ceremony?”

”Is that allowed?”

”It is my right. By tradition, one suffering this affliction is accompanied by their closest friends,” he said.

He felt all warm inside. “Thank you, Spock.”

”I also request Ms. Uhura and Dr. McCoy to accompany me.”

”It’s an honor, Spock,” Uhura said gently.

 Uhura patches through the vidlink.

Sarek’s face appeared on the screen.

”Spock,” he said. “It is I.”

”Have the arrangements been made?”

”Affirmative.”

”May I assume that Elder Selek will be in attendance?”

”Indeed. He wishes to speak with you before you pass into the Plak Tow. T’Pau will be there to perform the funeral rites.”

”Wait, funeral rites?” Jim asked.

”Indeed. Captain, I realize I have been remiss in my duties as First Officer. I should have clarified sooner. I will not be able to perform my duties following stardate 2536.67, as I will be dead. Given the circumstances, I would now like to resign my commission.”

The whole bridge crew was staring at him in varying states of shock. Chekov looked like he was about to cry.

”Commander, get in my ready room now.”

 ”What the actual fuck, Spock?!”

“Please clarify.”

“Resignation not accepted! You are not allowed to just... die!”

”I believe you have very little choice in the matter, Jim.”

”No no no. Don’t you start with that. You are not resigning, you are not dying, and I am still your captain. Is that understood, Commander?”

”Jim—“

“No!” he shouted. “Earlier you said you had to take a wife or die. What happened to taking a wife? Like come on, I know you’ve been with women before, even if like men more, surely marrying some girl is better than literally dying.”

”The gender of my potential bondmate does not matter, Jim.”

“Then what does? What’s stopping you?”

”Their existence. More specifically, their lack of it,” he said. “Vulcans form preliminary bonds as children to prevent circumstances such as these from occurring. The Va’Pak... was devastating. It left many without a bondmate. I will not be the first Vulcan to die of Pon Farr.”

”But... couldn’t all the bondless Vulcans just have been matched up with each other?”

”It is not that simple. You will remember that I ended my relationship with Nyota due to lack of compatibility. Pon Farr requires mental release as well as physical. A certain degree of compatibility is a necessity.”

”How do you test for compatibility?”

”With a mind meld. However—“

”Do it.”

”I beg your pardon?”

”Test me. Meld with me.”

”Jim, such an act is highly intimate. And in any case, there is an extremely low chance—“

”Please. Spock, I-I have to know.”

On some level, Spock had always known that Jim’s impossibly blue eyes would be his downfall.

”Very well,” he said, and he found himself reaching for his meld points.

It was like nothing he’d ever felt before.

It was intoxicating. It was glorious. Spock was in free fall through the most beautiful mindscape he had ever experienced, and he could feel Jim’s pleasure, forcing them both higher and higher until—

Spock broke the meld before the blood fever made him do something he would regret.

He longed to taste Jim’s mind, to wrap his consciousness around his own and bask in it, to bury his mind in his friend’s and anchor himself there, leave a permanent link and a bond there so that he always feel that beautiful sunshine warmth.

Jim was panting, eyes wide and pink mouth parted. “That was...”

He trailed off, seeming unable to finish.

Spock composed himself, as much as he was able. “We share a high degree of compatibility,” he managed.

”So we can do it? Get married— or bonded or whatever? I can save your life?”

”Affirmative. But Jim, I cannot ask this of you. It is too much.”

”You aren’t asking. I’m offering.”

”You do not know what you are agreeing to.”

”So tell me.”

”Our minds will be linked. I will be able to hear your surface thoughts and sense your stronger emotions at all times. Shielding would be an impossibility.”

Jim thought for a moment. “I can live with that.”

”Pon Farr is not normal sex.” At Jim’s excited look, he realized that was perhaps not the best phrasing to use with this man. He continued. “I will be driven to mate repeatedly over the course of three days. It will be rough and with little thought to your pleasure, only my own. It is not enjoyable. You may very well be injured. There will be little time to sleep or do anything else. You will be expected to do this every seven years for the rest of your life.”

He shrugged. “I’ll still do it if it’ll save your life.”

”Jim. You do not understand. Vulcans mate for life. To break a bond— while possible— is sacrilege and causes severe mental anguish. The pain would be excruciating.”

He shrugged. “So we just won’t break the bond, then.”

That gave Spock pause. “You would bind yourself to me for the rest of your life?”

”Yes, Spock, that’s what I’ve been saying the entire time.” He took his hands in his own. “Marry me.”

And Spock could not resist. He finally, finally captured those lips with his.

Chapter Text

“Where’s Dad?” Devyn asked.

”He’s on medical leave on New Vulcan for the next three days.” Bones took a long drink.

”What? Why aren’t you fixing him up? Why’s he down the colony?”

“It’s a Vulcan issue. He, uh, caught it from Spock. He’ll be right as rain in a few days though.”

”Well, can I go see him?”

”No. He’s in quarantine.”

”Can I at least comm him?”

”The, uh... No, because... Because of the ion storm. Yeah. I don’t know much about it, you’ll have to ask Uhura for specifics.”

She put her hands on her hips. “I will.”

 Uhura rolled her eyes. “That’s what Leonard told you?”

”Yeah, I figured it was a lie.”

”You can’t comm your father because he didn’t his padd or his communicator down with him. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.”

”Why? Is he really sick?”

”Sick? Honey. No. He’s on his honeymoon.”

”What?!”

”He and Spock got married.”

”They aren’t even dating!”

”Kirk’s told you about... stuff, right?”

”I know about sex, if that’s what you’re asking.”

”It was. There’s no way your dad could keep this a secret from you forever, and if he asks, that’s exactly what I’ll tell him. Okay, so Vulcans go through this thing called Pon Farr—“

 Jim lay on top of Spock, who seemed to have finally come out of it. His eyes were lucid and clear and free of that blind lust they’d had for the last three days.

”Hey,” Jim croaked. Damn. He really could have used more water breaks.

”Are you injured?” Spock asked.

”Little sore. Some bites and bruises. Nothing I haven’t had before.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. 

“Okay, so that was a little bit rougher than anything I’ve done before, but I’m fine Spock, really.”

”I insist that Dr. McCoy examine you upon our return to the Enterprise.”

”That’s completely unnecessary.”

”I insist.”

Jim sighed. “Fine. But before we go, we need to talk.”

Spock nodded. “I figured as much.”

”First off, I just wanna say— this doesn’t have to change anything. We can still just stay friends, Spock. Just friends who happen to be married.”

Spock shook his head, looking devastated. “No. You are my bondmate; for me, there will be no other.”

”What? Spock, I didn’t want to— I never wanted to keep you from seeing other people. To restrict you like that. You can date who you want and it won’t affect me none, promise. We can even break the bond if you want to someday. I can handle it.”

”Jim, you misunderstand. I will desire no other for as long as I am bonded to you. It is our way,” he said. “You, of course, are not held by such constraints. You may see who you wish. I will continue to function adequately.”

”I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t embarrass you like that.”

”Provided you are discreet, I have no objection. I understand humans are different. Your lives are short and your attentions fickle. Most do not mate for life, and those who do still ‘try out’ many potential mates before choosing one. I do not judge you for this. Humans are not like Vulcans. This is simple logic. If you require emotional connection and affection with your own kind, I will not begrudge you that.”

Jim wanted to object, but he wasn’t really sure why. Sure, he maybe had a crush on Spock. But that didn’t mean he was ready to genuinely get married to him and settle down. He was still in his twenties, for chrissakes. He had a universe to explore yet and worlds to discover and he still had to find his one true love, not cling like an unwanted pest to the first guy unlucky enough to get stuck with him.

He knew how it was. Spock had had the choice between Jim and death. He could have tried to search for someone else to bond with, sure, but if even Nyota wasn’t compatible enough, then who would be? The fact that Jim was was some weird fluke. He was surprised the bond had actually taken, but now it was there, thrumming golden and insistent in the back of his mind.

”Thanks, Spock,” he said.

They beamed back aboard the Enterprise and Devyn was already waiting for them in the transporter room, arms crossed.

”First of all, I already know everything, including the stuff you didn’t want me to know. Second of all, does this make Spock my other dad now?”

Jim and Spock glanced at each other.

”It’s not really like—“

”If your father will allow me to do so, I would be honored to adopt you, Devyn.”

Jim’s eyebrows shot up, but he wisely didn’t say anything.

”Great! You’re cool anyway. And anyway, third of all, I have a surprise for you two. Follow me.” She strode our the door without waiting to see if they listened.

She led them into medbay, where Bones was grinning like a fool and holding a small bundle wrapped in a soft yellow blanket.

Jim gasped and ran up to his friend, pulling the blanket back slightly. A pink-faced newborn blinked up at him, eyes shockingly blue. His head had small tufts of curly blond hair growing out of it.

Jim smiled down at him like he was the most precious thing in the galaxy. Bones immediately transferred him into his arms.

”He’s so small,” he whispered. “Is he supposed to be this small?”

”That’s what all newborns are like, genius,” Bones said affectionately.

”Is he blind?”

”Yes. I’m sorry, Jim. Science has come a long way, though. He might live to see the cure be invented.”

”That’s okay,” Jim said. “He’s perfect. We’ll figure it out.”

Devyn came to stand in front of Jim, poking and cooing at the baby. Her little brother.

”Oh,” Jim said. “Oh my god, he still doesn’t have a name.”

”Actually, Uncle Bones let me fill out the birth certificate. He does have a name,” Devyn said.

”Oh geez, please tell me it’s not Bartholomew or something.”

She huffed indignantly. “It is not. It’s a great name, for your information.”

”What is it?”

”David,” she said. “David Leonard Kirk.”

Bones choked on a half-breath. “You never told me that was his middle name.”

”Of course it is. It had to be. He has to have something from his greatest Uncle Bones, after all.”

Bones looked like he was tearing up. “C’mere, kid.” He pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.

Jim looked at them and Spock and the baby in his arms and he realized that somewhere along the way, he had gotten himself a family.

Chapter Text

Jim rearranged some things and had Spock transferred into the family quarters next to his and Devyn’s. They used one bedroom for Spock and another as a nursery for David. Jim had Scotty make a door between their mutual quarters to turn them into one big four-bedroom space house.

He told Spock that he didn’t have to move if he didn’t want to. Spock had asked if his presence in the children’s lives was unwanted, and Jim had assured him no, he was definitely welcome, he just didn’t want to force a family onto someone who wanted no part of it. Spock almost seemed offended, insisting that he would not have offered to adopt the children if he had not wanted to.

Jim had to admit he was great with the kids. He and Devyn were swapping instruction in Vuhlkansu and Kolari, respectively. Jim was also trying to pick up Vulcan as fast as he could— not that he was racing Devyn or anything. He was far too mature for that.

Spock estimated only 37% chance that David’s first word would be in Standard.

 “Jim, there is a matter which I would like to discuss with you.”

”Sure thing, Spock. Go at it.”

He sat down on the couch seriously and looked Jim in the eye. “Do you consider me a true parent to your children?”

”What?” he asked. “Of course, Spock. Why would you even question that?”

”Jim, I do not ask this question lightly and I do not desire to be placated. Please answer me with full honesty.”

”I am.”

”I understand that the bond between us was created out of necessity and not any desire on your part. You have graciously allowed me to adopt your children in the human manner. However, I would like to know if you intend for this to be a temporary arrangement, to last until you decide to break our bond.”

”No,” he said. “No, I— The kids love you, Spock. And you’ve been such a big help with David; you’re just as involved with him as I am. And as far as I’m concerned, we’re connected for life. I honestly wouldn’t mind just keeping the bond. I, uh... it’s nice. You know? Pleasant.”

Spock almost kissed him then and there, but Jim kept talking. Thankfully, he thought.

”Like I said, we can keep the bond. I can’t really see a future where you’re not involved in my life to some extent. I mean, we’ll always be friends, right? So as far as I’m concerned, you’re the kids’ other dad. If you want to be, that is.”

”I do want to be. I desire that greatly,” he said.

Jim smiled, golden and beautiful. “Then it’s settled. That’s all there is to say, really.”

”Not quite,” he said. “Jim, my t’hy’la, with your permission, I would like to adopt your children in the Vulcan way as well— by creating familial bonds to them.”

”Bonds? Like the one we have?”

He shook his head. “Not as such. Familial bonds are much more shallow than the type we have. They would allow for only awareness of presence and the ability to sense danger to each other.”

”Would you be able to create bonds like that between me and the kids?”

”Negative. They can only be formed when at least one party has psionic capabilities,” he said. “I am sorry.”

Jim waved a hand. “It’s fine. It’s not something humans need naturally anyway. But Vulcans do though. Right?”

”Indeed. However, if the idea is disagreeable to you, I have sufficient bonds to function adequately without additional ones.”

”It’s not disagreeable to me. It’s the kids’ heads you’ll be getting inside of though. You need their permission too. Is there a way for you to actually ask that of David? With as young as he is?”

”Affirmative.”

He touched David’s skin lightly to sense his surface thoughts.

person smell sound big touch family must touch—

His little hands flailed out to wind around Spock’s finger.

“He recognizes me as family,” he told Jim. Jim smiled brightly.

”Okay. Then do it. Make the bond.”

Spock touched the infant’s meld points and murmured the ritual words.

Devyn fixed Spock with a searing gaze.

She had not said anything in the past 3.8 minutes since Spock had asked her about creating a bond. She just stared at him.

He found himself wishing that Jim was here to facilitate the conversation.

”I have some questions,” she said.

Spock could not possibly speculate as to what they were. He had explained the nature of the bond in great detail.

”I will do my best to answer them,” he said.

”Why did you marry my dad?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You know of Pon Farr.”

”Yeah, but see, you didn’t have to marry him. After you found out you were compatible, you didn’t even test it with anyone else. Nyota told me. You just married him on the spot, didn’t even consider anyone else on the ship or any of the ten thousand Vulcans down on the colony. Why?”

“It was statistically unlikely to find another being that was compatible in time.”

”Boo. Try again.”

”...The level of compatibility we shared is... unusual.”

She folded her arms. “What do you mean by that?”

”I meant what I said. To find a match with compatibility as significant as ours is a rare and treasured thing in Vulcan culture. It is a statistical certainty that I would not have found a better match. Given the choice and time to test every possible candidate, I still would have chosen your father. He is my t’hy’la.”

Devyn stared at him again. “This isn’t a temporary thing for you, is it? You actually like him.”

”Do not tell him,” he said.

”I won’t,” she said. She smiled in a way she hoped was reassuring. “You can create your bond if you want.”

 “He’s single, you know,” Devyn said. Pavel turned to her in shock.

”I-I do not know what you mean,” he stammered. Devyn just grinned at him.

”Are you sure? Because I’m friends with him. I could ask him out for you.”

”No!” he said, perhaps a bit too loudly. He blushed hard. “Do not, Devyn. He does not like me. He does not even know I exist.”

”Oh, well I can fix that,” she said, and before Pavel could protest, she called out across the mess, “Hey, Kevin! Come over here!”

Kevin Riley looked up, grinned at her, and grabbed his tray and trotted over. He was a twenty-two year old lieutenant and communications officer, with chocolate brown and hazel eyes.

”Hey, sis. How’s everything going?” he asked.

”Sis?” Pavel looked between them in confusion. Devyn waved it off.

”Oh yeah, Kevin’s practically a big brother to me,” she said. “Kev, this is my friend Pavel, he’s an ensign and he’s almost nineteen.”

”Nice to meet ya,” Kevin smiled brightly. “You’re a bridge officer, right?”

Pavel blushed pink. “U-um, yes. I am the alpha shift navigator.”

Kevin’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s a pretty big accomplishment for someone so young.”

”He’s not that young,” Devyn said quickly. She pulled her comm out of her pocket and pretended she had just got a message. “Oh shit, I’m late for emergency procedures class with Giotto, I gotta go. Bye guys!”

 “Cadet Kirkkar,” Jim said, smiling wildly. Devyn snapped to attention and saluted her captain.

Jim was doing his level best to not think of her as a little kid playing dress up, he really was. She was just another cadet reporting for field training and he was her commanding officer.

But at the same time, he had taken like fifteen holos of her in her cadet reds.

The Enterprise currently had five cadets assigned to it away from the Academy for the chance to go on a real-life training mission. The other four were only staying for one semester though, and they’d had to scrape and claw to the top of all their classes to get the privilege.

”Are you ready for your first away mission?”

”Yes!” Devyn shrieked excitedly. “I mean, sir yes sir!”

”At ease, Cadet,” he said, doing his darnedest to suppress his smile. His kid was a cadet! “This mission should be fairly simple. It’s a diplomatic appearance at a Federation planet.”

Her enthusiasm dropped off instantly. “Dad, I don’t need to be babied. I can go on a real mission.”

”Hey, that’s Captain Dad to you. I mean— Captain Kirk,” he said. “And I’m not babying you. This just happens to be our next mission. Also, that is no way to address a superior officer.”

She frowned. “I’ve seen how you talk to Admiral Pike. When we first moved to San Francisco, I genuinely thought he was my grandfather for like, six months.”

”That is... not relevant to this conversation,” he said. “Anyway. Your orders. Um, the security personnel aren’t actually necessary, your presence is just a formality. You’re mostly just gonna be acting as a sort-of honor guard for the landing party.”

She was giving him the dryest, most accusing look.

Not babying her. Sure.

”Just stand around and look impressive, basically,” he finished up. “Oh, and we’ll have to get you a dress uniform.”

Chapter Text

“Dress uniforms. Spit and polish. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to stand this. I feel like my neck’s in a sling,” McCoy griped.

”Sarek is the last delegate we have to pick up. As soon as we get him aboard, we’ll be able to relax.”

”Sure a formal reception tonight, 114 delegates aboard for two weeks, 32 of them ambassadors, half of them made at the other half, and the whole lot touchier than a raw antimatter pile over this Coridan question.”

Spock fell in step beside them and all three of them made their way to the hangar deck in their tight, shiny dress uniforms. An entire honor guard of security officers stood at attention to greet Sarek as he disembarked.

”How does that Vulcan salute go?” McCoy asked. Spock demonstrated the ta’al, and McCoy clumsily tried to arrange his fingers into it.

”That hurts worse than the uniform,” he said.

Sarek disembarked, striding across the hangar deck past the honor guard, dressed in entirely black robes accented with gold. He stopped in front of Jim.

”Captain,” he greeted.

”Ambassador,” he returned. “I’m sure you’re familiar with your son and my First Officer, Commander Spock. And this is my Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy.”

”Live long and prosper,” Sarek said. McCoy nodded gruffly.

”Soon as you’re settled, I’ll arrange a tour of the ship. Mr. Spock will conduct you,” Kirk said.

”Indeed. Thank you,” he said.

 “Mr. Ambassador, I understand you had retired just a few years ago. Forgive my curiosity, but as a doctor, I’m interested in Vulcan physiology. Isn’t it unusual for a Vulcan to retire at your age? After all, you’re only 102.”

”102.437 precisely, Doctor, measured in your years,” he said. “I had other concerns.”

”Sarek of Vulcan,” the Tellarite ambassador said. “Do you vote to admit Coridan to the Federation?”

”The vote will not be taken here, Ambassador Gav,” Sarek said. “My government’s instructions will be heard in the council chambers on Babel.”

”No. You, how do you vote, Sarek of Vulcan?”

”Why must you know, Tellarite?” an Andorian asked derisively.

”In council, his vote carries others,” Gav said. “I will know where he stands. And why.”

”Tellarites do not argue for reasons. They simply argue,” Sarek said.

”No, you—“

”Gentlemen! Ambassador Sarek is right in that this is not the council chamber of Babel. I’m fully aware that the admission of Coridan is a highly debatable issue, but this is not the place to debate it.”

As if that even remotely resembled the turn their argument had taken. 

“You are correct, Captain. Quite logical,” Sarek said.

”My apologies, Captain,” the Andorian murmured.

”If you will excuse me,” Gav snarled, and left with his aide.

”Have you met Gav before, Ambassador?” the Andorian asked.

”We debated during my last council session,” Sarek said. He gave a slight bow and excused himself, returning to the company of his son and the doctor, Jim following at his heels.

 “Captain Kirk. I understand that you have offspring,” Sarek said.

”Uh, yes, sir. A son and a daughter.”

”I was not aware of this son.”

”He’s new,” Bones said. “Little fella was only born about three months ago.”

”You are his attending physician?”

”Yes, sir.”

”How is his health?”

”Perfect as can be. He’s one happy human baby.”

”Spock. Have you adopted your mate’s children as is proper?”

”Affirmative, Father,” he said stiffly.

”Good.” Sarek turned back to Jim. “I will meet my grandchildren now.”

 Jim had left Devyn with babysitting duty while he and Spock entertained the diplomats and she was responsible and he trusted her but also he really, really hoped she wasn’t like, drawing on the kid’s face with markers when they walked in.

Thankfully, she wasn’t. She was holding David in her lap and giving him his formula. Jim almost sighed with relief.

”Hi, Dad! And Spock,” she said. Her eyes skittered over to Sarek. “Um..”

”Devyn, this is Sarek, Spock’s father. Your grandfather,” Jim said.

”Oh.” She set the baby down on the couch and held out her hand. “Nice to meet you, uh, sir.”

”Vulcans do not shake hands,” he informed her. She dropped her arm awkwardly.

”Sorry?”

“And this is David,” Jim said, picking the baby back up and bringing him over to Sarek, whose eyes softened just slightly.

”This child is blind,” he said. “I was informed he was in perfect health.”

”He is,” Jim said defensively. “Other than that. And it doesn’t really affect him too much at this point anyway. He just cries when he needs us, and then we’re there.”

”I see,” Sarek said. “Captain, may I speak with you alone?”

 “I am not human. Nor I do possess the emotional wisdom of my former wife. I do not know if she would approve of you as a mate for Spock,” he said. “I do know that you fulfilled the logical purpose of a bondmate by keeping my son alive through the fires of Pon Farr.”

Jim was silent, unsure what, if anything, he was supposed to say.

”You are not the mate I would have chosen for Spock. You are not Vulcan. Your family is hardly cohesive nor ideal in the traditional sense.”

”Hey! If you’re gonna talk shit, I’ll have you know—“

He held up a hand. “Cease. I meant no offense. I only speak the truth. You are an accomplished and well-honored individual, Captain. You were responsible for saving many Vulcans on the day of our destruction. The Vulcan people owe you a debt of gratitude, and for that we grace thee with the name of our most honored clan, and a place in our most honored house. The High Command has given me the authority to grant you honorary Vulcan citizenship and dub thee S’chn T’gai Kirk James, of the House of Surak.”

”I-I don’t know what to say.”

”You are aware of Surak’s place in Vulcan culture?”

”Yeah, of course.”

”Then you understand the importance and prominence of his House.”

”I guess.”

”Your daughter is now heir to this House.”

”Wait, are you saying Devyn is Vulcan royalty or something?”

”Or something.”

 “Ohhh she’s going to be insufferable for months because of this.”

Devyn squealed when he told her and immediately dove for her comm to text Pavel and Gronk and tell them she would only answer to ‘Princess Devyn’ from now on.

Spock explained to her that her position was more of a figurehead anyway, and it only meant that she would inherit a large fortune and a seat on the High Council if she outlives Spock.

The average Vulcan lifespan is 200 years. Humans, 100. Orions, 70.

She said she didn’t care and it was cool anyway. Then she dashed off to go annoy the hell out of her friends.

“Vulcan, I would speak to you,” Gav said.

Sarek paused, glass of port halfway to his lips. “It does seem unavoidable.”

”How do you vote on the Coridan admission?”

”You seem unwilling to wait for the council meeting, Ambassador. No matter,” he said. “We favor admission.”

”You favor? Why?”

”Under Federation law, Coridan can be protected and its wealth administered for the benefit of its people.”

”That’s well for you. Vulcan has no mining interest.”

”Coridan has nearly unlimited wealth of dilithium crystals, but it is underpopulated and unprotected. This invites illegal mining operations.”

”Illegal? You accuse us?!”

”Some of your ships have been carrying Coridan dilithium crystals.”

”You call us thieves?!”

Gav rushed him in outrage and Sarek shoved the Tellarite hard into a wall. Jim jumped into the fray and physically held Gav back while Sarek, of course, stood there with implacable calm.

”Gentlemen! Gentlemen,” he yelled. “Whatever arguments you have between yourselves are your business, but my business is running the ship. As long as I command, there will be order.”

”Of course, Captain,” Sarek said. 

“Understood,” Gav said. He paused on his way out the door. “There will be payment for your slander, Sarek.”

”Threats are illogical,” he said. “And payment is usually expensive.”

 Bones ran a scanner over Gav’s corpse where it had been laid down in the hallway. He had originally been strung up by his feet, hanging from the ceiling in a small alcove.

”How was he killed?” Jim asked.

”His neck was broken,” Bones said. “By an expert.”

”Explain.”

”Well, from the nature and location of the break, I’d say the killer knew exactly where to apply pressure to snap the neck instantly.”

”Who on board would have that kind of knowledge?” Jim asked. Bones looked uncomfortably towards Spock.

”Vulcans,” Spock said. “On Vulcan the method is called tal-shaya. It was considered a merciful form of execution in ancient times.”

There were only two Vulcans aboard the ship. And Spock had an alibis.

”Spock...” he started. “A little while ago I broke up a fight between Gav and your father.”

”Indeed, Captain?” he asked. “Interesting.”

”Interesting?!” McCoy asked. “Spock, do you realize that makes your father the most likely suspect?”

”Vulcans do not approve of violence,” Spock said simply.

”Are you saying he couldn’t have done it?” Jim asked.

”No, Captain. I am merely saying it would be illogical to kill without reason.”

”But if he had a reason, could he have done it?”

”If there were a reason, then my father is quite capable of killing, logically and efficiently.”

Well, if Jim wasn’t piss-in-his-pants terrified of his father-in-law beforehand, then that certainly did it.

 “You want something of me, Captain?” Sarek asked.

”Ambassador, the Tellarite Gav has been murdered,” Jim said.

”His neck was broken. By what Spock describes as tal-shaya,” McCoy said.

”Indeed. Interesting,” Sarek said.

Like father, like son, apparently. Murder is interesting.

”Where were you during the past hour?” Kirk asked.

”In private meditation, Captain. Spock will tell you that such meditation is a personal experience, not to be discussed. Especially not with humans.”

“How convenient,” Jim said.

And then Sarek spontaneously collapsed.

“Bones, how is he?”

”As far as I can tell from instrument readings, our prime suspect has a malfunction in one of his heart valves. It’s similar to a heart attack in a human. But with Vulcan physiology, it’s impossible to tell without an operation. Spock, has he had any previous attacks?”

”No,” he said.

”Yes,” Sarek said, having awakened while they were talking. “There were three others. My physician prescribed benjisidrine for the condition.”

”Ambassador, when did you have these attacks?”

”Two before we left Vulcan. The third a few hours ago. I was on the observation deck. When the Tellarite was murdered, I was quite incapacitated.”

Again, how convenient.

”There were no witnesses?” Jim asked.

”None,” Sarek said. Jim pursed his lips.

”Doctor, do you propose surgery for the heart defect?” Spock asked.

”I’m not sure. It’s tough enough on a human. On a Vulcan, an ordinary operation’s out of the question.”

”Why?” Jim asked.

”Because of the construction of the Vulcan heart,” Sarek said. 

“I suggest that a cryogenic open-heart procedure would be the logical approach,” Spock said.

Sarek nodded. “Yes, unquestionably.”

”Bones, what about it?” Jim asked.

He huffed and folded his arms. “Well I’m glad somebody’s asking me something around here. The procedure they’re discussing would require tremendous amounts of blood for the patient.”

”Doctor, I’ve checked the blood bank. There isn’t enough Vulcan blood and plasma onboard to even begin an operation of this type,” Chapel said.

”There are other Vulcans on board,” Jim said. Well, one.

”My blood type is T-negative. Somewhat rare, even for a Vulcan.”

”My blood is T-negative as well, however,” Spock said.

”We’ve run a number of blood tests on you, Spock. It isn’t pure Vulcan blood either. Yours has human blood elements in it,” Chapel said.

”It should be possible to filter out the human factors,” Spock said.

”Even you couldn’t give that much blood, Spock. It would kill you,” McCoy said.

 The Andorian had a curved dagger and Jim didn’t even have his phaser on him.

The blade slipped in and out of his back before he could dodge it. A hit and a kick to the chin and the Andorian was out.

He stood shakily, pressing a hand to the warm, wet wound in his chest. He hit the button for the intercom.

”Bridge. Spock.”

“Spock here.”

”Spock, I’m on Deck Five bear my quarters. I’ve been attacked by an Andorian—“

God, it was getting hard to breathe. He sounded like he’d just run ten miles.

”Security,” he said. “Se-security team.”

He fell forward, eyes rolling back in his head.

 “It’s a bad wound— punctured left lung. A centimeter or so lower and it’d have gone through the heart,” Bones said.

”I’ll be in the brig questioning the Andorian prisoner,” Spock said. 

“Spock...” he trailed off. “Your father is much worse. There’s no longer a choice. I have to operate immediately. We can begin as soon as you’re prepared.”

They were going to use an experimental drug to increase blood production. It had had moderate success when used on Rigellians, whose physiology was vaguely similar-ish to that of Vulcans.

 “No, Doctor.”

”What?”

”My first responsibility is to the ship. Our passengers’ safety is by Starfleet order of first importance. We are being followed by an alien, possibly hostile vessel. I cannot relinquish command under these circumstances.”

”You can turn command over to Scotty!”

”On what grounds, Doctor?” he asked. “Command requirements do not recognize personal privilege. I will be in the brig, interrogating the Andorian.”

“He is Thelev, a minor member of my staff. I know nothing of him except that he has served adequately,” the Andorian ambassador said, his accent thick.

”He has been subjected to questioning under verified scanner and truth drug. He reveals nothing. I suggest his mind has been so conditioned as part of a preconceived plan.”

”My people are a violent race, but we have no quarrel with Captain Kirk.”

”Apparently Thelev did.”

”You suggest a plot. How could it profit us to harm the captain?”

”I do not know. There is no logic in Thelev’s attack upon the captain. There is no logic in Gav’s murder.”

The Andorian seemed amused. “Perhaps you should forget logic and devote yourself to motivations of passion or gain. Those are reasons for murder.”

Jim walked onto the bridge stiffly and slowly, followed closely by Bones. This would be a lot easier if it weren’t for the bond

He kept his mind focused on duty and assassinations and the alien ship that was following them. Very concerning, distracting matters. Hopefully Spock wouldn’t notice how numb and sluggish the painkillers had made him.

He flashed his bondmate his cockiest grin. “I can take over from here, Spock. You report to medbay with Dr. McCoy.”

”Captain. Are you quite alright?” he asked, turned halfway out of the captain’s chair to look at him better, studying him like a bug under a microscope. Jim kept his easy smile firmly in place.

”I’ve certified him physically fit, Spock. Now, since I have an operation to perform and both of us are required...”

”Get out Spock,” Jim said lightly. “Go save your dad.”

Spock looked back to Jim inquisitively, and Jim could hear him mentally calculating the odds of a human recovering from a stab wound that quickly.

It would be massively underhanded—

Jim gave a mental tug to the bond, caressing Spock’s mind as best he knew how. He had learned very quickly that that was a surefire way to distract him.

Spock’s calculations trailed off, the bond humming with pleasure. The Vulcan’s eyes glazed over slightly. He got out of the captain’s chair and started to walk away, then paused, brow furrowed.

Jim projected a wave of reassurance. I’m fine. You won’t regret this.

Spock nodded slightly and entered the turbolift.

“That pigheaded Vulcan stamina— I couldn’t have pulled them through without it,” Bones said.

”Some doctors have all the luck,” Jim said.

”Captain, I believe you’ll find the alien—“

”We damaged their ship. They destroyed themselves to avoid capture. Bones, Thelev’s body will be brought to your lab. I want an autopsy performed as soon as possible.”

”I think you’ll find he’s an Orion, Doctor,” Spock said. Devyn’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. She had sat at Spock’s bedside throughout the entire procedure.

”Orion?” Bones asked. 

“Intelligence reports that Orion smugglers have been raiding the Coridan system?”

”But what would they gain by an attack on Starfleet?” Jim asked. 

“Mutual suspicion and interplanetary war,” Sarek said.

Divide and conquer. The Federation wasn’t all that powerful if its member planets turned on each other.

Jim nodded. “And of course the Syndicate would remain carefully neutral. They’d clean up supplying dilithium to both sides and continuing to raid Coridan the entire time.”

Devyn’s frown deepened.

Chapter Text

Spock was meditating when David let out a squalling cry. Jim immediately set his padd down and hopped up, picking up his child and shushing him quietly.

Spock blinked out of his trance anyway.

”Sorry. Didn’t mean to disturb you,” Jim said.

”It is no matter.” He rose from his meditation mat and crossed the room over to Jim. David shifted and squirmed in his hold, waving around his arms at random until Spock allowed him to latch onto one of his fingers. David tugged it down to his chest, holding it close.

”He likes you,” Jim said.

”Our connection is facilitated by the familial bond.”

”Yeah, but that’s not all it is. He liked you before the bond. You said yourself he recognized you as family.”

”...Indeed,” Spock said. David gurgled up at him, and he almost looked fond. Jim felt warmth and affection and love flowing through their bond so freely he felt like he was drowning in it. It was intoxicating.

He could get used to this. So, so easily.

Prbably shouldn’t go there. Best not to think of it, really. Spock loved the kids and he felt friendly affection for Jim, but that was it, and it would be stupid to think Jim could ask for any more. It would also be wrong. He had a crush, that was it. It would go away. Right now Spock just seemed like perfection because he was the other father of Jim’s children and one of his best friends and his most trusted officer and Jim still had their three-day sex marathon branded on the forefront of his mind. Anyone would get a crush in those circumstances.

And Spock didn’t exactly make it hard, either. He was drop-dead gorgeous and utterly brilliant and loyal to a fault and a few outlier incidents aside, he was the gentlest, most human soul Jim had encountered in his travels. Jim loved him.

As a friend. A friend he wanted to have sex with.

“David requires feeding,” Spock said.

”Oh. Yeah,” he said. He started walking towards the replicator, ordering up strained peas. He struggled to keep a squirming David in one arm and a bowl of baby food in the other.

”Allow me, t’hy’la,” Spock said, taking the baby and moving him into his high chair. Jim sat down at the table with a murmured thanks and began trying to coax David into eating his peas.

”You’ve called me that before. T’hy’la,” he said absently. “What’s it mean?”

”It is what you are to me.”

”Co-parent?” Jim asked wryly. A depressing thought occurred to him. “Or, uh, Captain?”

”Negative. It is an endearment, of sorts.” A spark of hope lit up in Jim’s chest.

He smiled warmly. “Well, if you’re gonna use Vulcan endearments, then I’m gonna use human ones, sweetheart.”

”It is... not quite an endearment of that sort,” Spock clarified, and Jim’s little spark of hope died. “It has no direct translation in Standard. It means friend, brother, lover.”

The spark returned and blossomed into a warm heat that enveloped Jim’s chest. He was beaming like an idiot.

He only wished they could be lovers for more than just the one time. But Spock had said it clear as day: he was a friend. A friend that he happened to have had sex with.

Jim was sorta surprised there was a Vulcan word for that, to be honest.

But this was good too. It sounded like the highest level of friendship— as close as brothers. And Jim definitely wanted to be as close to Spock as possible.

So this was a good thing, he told himself firmly. Spock felt the same way about him as he did about Spock. Once Jim’s stupid crush passes, everything will go back to normal and they’ll be awesome space husbands with their awesome space kids and space ship, and they’ll take on the galaxy together.

Elder Spock had promised Jim a life-altering friendship. He had been dead right.

He wondered briefly if the other Jim had ever had a crush on his Spock, and if so, if Elder Spock knew about it.

The old man probably got a good laugh out of the idea. He would have told Jim if they had ever been anything more than friends, surely.

 “They’re pretty big. Seven feet tall is not unusual. They’re extremely fast and strong. Lieutenant?” McCoy asked, and Uhura flipped on the vidscreen in the conference room. It showed images of the native Capellans.

Which, yeah, they were giants.

”Make no mistake. They can be highly dangerous,” he said. “The Capellans’ basic weapon is called the kleeat. At any distance up to one hundred yards, they can make it almost as effective as a phaser.”

The vidscreen showed a monstrous Capellan throw his kleeat with enough force to sever a sapling in half.

”There’s also an assortment of swords and knives.”

”How long were you stationed on the planet, Doctor?”

”Only a few months,” he said. “They didn’t want anything to do with our offers of medical aid and hospitals. They believe that only the strong should survive.”

”Analysis?” Jim asked the group.

”Ordinarily under these circumstances, I would recommend a large, well-armed landing party,“ Spock said.

 “Yeah, but in this case, the more people we take down, the greater chance we have of violating one of their taboos,” Jim said.

”Agreed,” Bones said. “Once they’ve got it into their heads that we’re showing force, you can forget them signing any topeline mining treaty.”

”Got it,” Jim said. 

 They beamed down a landing party of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and two cadets— Devyn and Quinn Grant.

“Halt!” someone called out, and suddenly they were surrounded by hulking Capellans. “You are of the Earth vessel?”

”I’m Captain Kirk,” he said.

”We come with open hearts and hands,” Bones said, performing the native salute. 

A Capellan stepped aside and—

“A Klingon!”

”Grant, no!”

A kleeat was already embedded in his chest, and he fell to the ground, hand falling limp from where it hand reached for his phaser.

The Klingon gave the Capellan peace salute. “I was unaware of any state of war between our peoples, Captain,” he said. “Or is it your policy to kill Klingons on sight?”

”He was young,” Jim gritted out. “And inexperienced.”

”Does Maab know that the Klingons are our sworn enemies, by their own words?” McCoy asked.

The Capellan from earlier— Maab, apparently— spoke. “We understand only that he also offers things of value for our rocks, and that he has freely handed us his weapons and other devices. Will you do the same?”

”Let me call my ship and inform them—“

”To bring down an attack upon their village?” the Klingon asked in outrage. “It is as I told you, Maab. The Earth men fear to bargain honestly.”

”Will you hand us your weapons?” Maab asked.

They had no choice, really.

 The four of them were taken to a fancy tent.

”So they keep their word, scrupulously,” Jim said. “They’re unusually honest. That’s what you said in the briefing room, isn’t it, Doctor?”

”Yeah. I said that.”

”He also mentioned they can be highly dangerous,” Spock reminded them.

”If they’re lied to. If their customs are violated. But we have been nothing but honest since we got here. We’ve observed every single taboo,” Jim said. “So explain to me, Doctor, why one of my men is dead!”

”Because he drew a weapon on another one of their guests,” McCoy snarled.

”Grant looked up, saw a Klingon, made a purely instinctive defensive move,” he insisted. “And what’s a Klingon doing down here among your scrupulously honest friends anyway?”

”Dad,” Devyn said.

“Look, Jim, I know what it means to you to lose a crewman,” Bones said.

”That’s only one down, Bones. There’s 400 more up there in orbit,” he said. “And if there’s a Klingon down here, then there’s a Klingon ship up there.”

He sat down heavily. Devyn gave him an angry, accusing look.

”Bones,” he said.

”Yes, Captain?”

”I shouldn’t have said all that. I’m sorry.”

Bones gave him a gentle smile. “It’s okay. I understand.”

”He was a cadet,” Jim said. “Fresh out of high school. Pavel’s age. This was supposed to be a simple field training mission, and now I have to write a letter home to his family.”

”It’s his birthday in four days,” Devyn said. “The other cadets... We were gonna have a party. It was a surprise. He didn’t know.”

Jim slung an arm around her shoulders.

A beautiful blonde woman chose that moment to come in carrying a bowl of breads. She set the bowl on a nearby and knelt beside it.

”You’ve, uh, shown friendship by handing over our weapons. She’s making a gesture in return,” Bones explained.

Then the woman picked up a piece of bread and offered it to Jim, who reached out—

“Jim!”

Both Bones and Spock were on their feet in an instant, drawing closer to him.

”If you touch it, her nearest male relative will have to try to kill you. They’re offering you a chance for combat. They consider it more pleasurable than love.”

He was smirking. Jim hated him.

”Chura,” she cursed.

”It would appear, Captain, that they find you a disappointment,” Spock said.

Ah, well that, he was used to. Jim gave her his best I’m-a-disappointment shrug.

 There was a fucking coup/civil war/whatever, the Capellans just started killing each other, and the Klingon took advantage of the chaos to try and steal the confiscated phasers.

Naturally, Maab walked in right as Jim was holding a sword to the guy’s throat, questioning him.

A sword was pointed at Jim’s back. “Release him.”

He did. The tent filled up with sword-wielding Capellans.

”Akaar is dead,” Maab said. “I am the Tier.”

”Kill then now,” the Klingon suggested.

”Wait,” Jim said. “If you lead these people now, be certain you make the right decisions.”

Maab hesitated.

”Is the new leader of the ten tribes afraid?” the Klingon asked. “Let me kill him for you.”

”Or let the Klingon and me fight,” Jim said. “It might amuse you.”

Boy. He did not think that through.

Thinking before you speak? Jim doesn’t do that.

“Perhaps to be a tier is to see in new ways,” Maab said. “I begin to like you, Earth man. And I saw fear in the Klingon’s eye.”

”We had an agreement,” the Klingon hissed.

”That, too, may change.”

 Akaar’s wife Eleen was pregnant. With the child who would be Tier. So thus she was slated to die, and they tried to save her, and they all got slated to die because it was illegal to touch the wife of a tier, and now they’re running through the hills, essentially just waiting until the stronger and faster Capellans come and kill them.

Spock hypothesized they could find them by scent alone if necessary. That really dimmed the mood.

Spock, Kirk, and Devyn were scouting a valley for all possible ways in and out and trying to come up with defensive strategies. McCoy was dealing with a grouchy giant pregnant lady.

”Now listen, you may be a Capellan woman and the widow of a high Tier, but I am a doctor, and I’m going to care for the sick and injured whether they want me to or not. Now let me see that arm.”

Eleen glared but held out her arm so he could tend the burn. She had been walking to her execution when someone tripped her and knocked her into a fire pit.

McCoy fixed up her arm and then ran a scanner over her very pregnant belly. He placed a hand at the top of it, and she shoved it off, looking startled.

”You will not touch me in that manner,” she said.

”It’s a medical necessity and I’m going to make sure you’re okay,” he said, and went to do it again. She slapped him hard across the face.

He tried to touch her stomach again, and she slapped him again and smiled. He slapped her right back.

Then she allowed him to touch her.

”Just as I thought,” he said. “It could come anytime now.”

”How do you know?” she asked.

”Because I’m a doctor, that’s how I know,” he snapped.

”Even the women of our village cannot tell so much with a touch.” Slowly, she laid her own hand over his. “Strange hand. And very soft.”

Spock appeared right at that moment.

McCoy yanked his hand away quickly, but it was too late— Spock had seen and already judged him.

The man was making a facial expression to more fully convey the full force of his judgement. McCoy felt his face heat.

Count on a Vulcan to make someone feel dirty for holding hands.

 They managed to stall the angry mob of Capellans by using their communicators to create a sympathetic frequency that artificially triggered a landslide that blocked off the entrance to the valley. Now the Capellans would have to go all the way around the hills to come kill them. Might take them a while.

In the meantime, they were hiding in a cave.

They had missed their check-in hours and hours ago, so presumably the Klingon ship was keeping the Enterprise busy and incapable of sending down a rescue party.

It was a game against time. All they were doing was stalling. It was all they could do.

Eleen was being difficult and extremely pregnant. She needed help to move, but she refused all touch except that of Dr. McCoy, and had whacked Spock a few times when he tried to help her up the mountainside.

”How’d you arrange to touch her, Bones? Give her a happy pill?” Jim asked.

”No,” he said. “A right cross.”

”Never seen that in a medical book.”

”It’s in mine from now on.”

Wonderful. More lovely treatments from Dr. Bones for Jim to look forward to.

Eleen went into labor and everyone who wasn’t Bones excused themselves out of the cave to go try and make weapons out of various things.

”You have to want the child,” Leonard said.

”No!” Eleen shook her head. “Here, child belongs to husband.”

”So they take all the credit here. Well, poppycock!” he said. “Answer me. Do you want my help?”

She nodded.

”Alright. Say to yourself, ‘the child is mine. The child is mine. It is mine!’”

“Yes,” she said. “It’s yours.”

”No, you've got it all wrong.”

”Yes, MahCoy. It’s yours.”

”No. Say to yourself ‘the child is mine. It is mine. It is...’ Uh-oh.”

 McCoy emerged from the cave, looking smug as all hell. “It’s safe to come back in now, you infants. The baby’s delivered.”

They clamored into the cave just in time to hear Eleen say, “MahCoy. Bring our child.”

Jim’s head whipped around. “Our child?”

They had been here a matter of hours. But wait, Bones had been stationed here before, for months. No, that didn’t make sense, it was too long ago. It had been back at the Academy as part of a field training mission, there’s no way he could have knocked a woman up and have her only be giving birth now. Unless the Capellan gestation period—

”I’ll explain later.”

”That should prove very interesting,” Spock said.

McCoy ignored them and knelt down next to Eleen, placing the child in her arms.

“Contact Starfleet,” Jim said, back on the bridge. “Inform then that Federation mining rights have been secured on Capella IV by treaty, documents signed by the young high chief’s regent. Report follows.”

”Aye aye, sir,” Uhura said.

”The child’s regent?” Spock asked.

”Yes, Eleen, a remarkable young lady,” Jim smiled.

”Representing the High Tier: Leonard James Akaar,” McCoy said, positively smirking.

”The child was named Leonard James Akaar?” Spock asked.

”Has kind of a ring to it, don’t you think, James?” Bones asked.

”Yes. I think it’s a name destined to go down in galactic history, Leonard. What do you think, Spock?”

”I think you’re both going to be insufferably pleased with yourselves for at least a month. Sir.”

Chapter Text

They had a funeral for Quinn Grant. Jim gave the eulogy, and all his fellow cadets said a few words. They all stood together, protectively, supporting each other in more ways than one.

His girlfriend cried when they launched his body into space.

A new cadet would be sent out to them the next time they reached a star base.

 The remaining cadets all piled into Quinn and Tyler’s quarters. They had to share— only officers got singles.

Tyler dragged a case of synth beers out from under his bed. He started passing them around.

”Where’d you even get this?” Manuel asked.

“Mary reprogrammed my meal card to think I’m over twenty-one,” Tyler said. “Mine and Quinn’s.”

Mary knocked back her synth beer.

”Should we really be giving Devyn beer?” Manuel asked. “She’s like. Twelve. And the captain’s daughter.”

”Good point,” Tyler said, and snatched Devyn’s beer away.

”Hey!” she protested. “C’mon, I won’t tell if you let me have it. And Shalla’s only a year older than me and she gets beer.”

“I’m seventeen,” Shalla said. “You’re fifteen.”

”I’ll be sixteen in just a few months. And you just turned seventeen.”

”Does alcohol even affect Orions?” Mary asked.

The teenagers looked between themselves. Tyler handed the bottle back, and Devyn took a sip.

She shrugged.

”Guess we’ll find out,” Manuel said dryly.

Mary set down her empty bottle a bit more forcefully than necessary and reached for another.

”Damn,” Manuel said. “Slow down maybe?”

”Fuck you,” she said. “This shit isn’t supposed to happen to us. We’re cadets. We aren’t even graduated yet! The Admiralty’s fast-tracking every kid they can get their hands on, they’ve got recruitment stations in every school on Earth, they’re rebuilding ships left and right and there still aren’t enough of us because fucking thousands died. Cadets. People our age. Or even younger! Look at Devyn and Shalla, that Chekov guy who’s already a commissioned officer! What the fuck?!”

She waited for a reaction, but no one knew what to say. She huffed in disgust and chugged her beer.

”You keep going like that, you’re gonna be hungover for Alpha tomorrow,” Manuel said.

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll steal a hangover hypo from sickbay then. One of the nurses has a thing for me, it’ll be easy.”

 Manuel “voice of reason” Gomez clearly didn’t think so, but said nothing.

”Shoulda stayed at the Academy,” Shalla said. “Should never have enlisted in Starfleet in the first place. My dad wanted me to go to the Andorian School for the Arts and work on my painting. Best art school in the Federation, and I turned it down.”

”I was gonna be a pro b-ball player,” Tyler said seriously.

Mary laughed brittlely. “Judge told me I could do computers work for Starfleet or I could spend six months in jail for hacking. That’s the only reason I’m here.”

”I’ve known I wanted to be a captain someday since I was five years old,” Manuel said. “My mom was a captain, and her mom was a captain, and her dad was a captain. ‘Course, none of them ever considered raising their kids in space.” He turned to Devyn, who shrugged.

”What can I say? Space is my blood.”

”Tell us about Orion,” Mary said, now on her third bottle of synth beer.

”Yeah,” Tyler said. “Were you a slave before Captain Kirk rescued you? Can you tell us about the mission?”

”Um, not exactly.”

”Oh god, were you even old enough to remember?” Mary asked. “That’s sick.”

”I can’t tell you about the mission because there was no mission,” she said. “I’ve never even been to Orion.”

Mary’s brow furrowed in deep confusion. “But you are Orion, right? Or are you, like... half?”

”No, I’m fully Orion,” she said slowly. “I’m just from Iowa.”

”It’s not like all humans are from Earth,” Shalla said, the only other alien in the room. “You wouldn’t assume that for somebody from your own species, so don’t do it for somebody else’s.”

”She’s right,” Manuel said.

Mary shrugged and took another sip.

 Spock smelled the alcohol on Devyn the second she walked in the room. He stood up sharply.

”Where did you acquire alcohol?” he barked.

Devyn’s eyes widened almost comically. “What?”

”The Vulcan sense of smell is far superior to that of humans. Just because the majority of the crew cannot tell that you have been drinking does not mean I am likewise unaware.”

”I only had half a synth beer. It’s not a big deal.”

”It is in fact ‘a big deal.’ You are underage by the standards of either Federation or even Orion law. The acts you have committed tonight are illegal, morally reprehensible, and could justifiably result in your expulsion from Starfleet’s Academy.”

She flinched.

”We are going to medbay right now and I will be comming your father,” he informed her.

 McCoy was just getting to the really good part of what was definitely going to be at least a half hour long rant when Jim ran in, looking frantic.

Once he saw Devyn was fine, his eyes instantly narrowed.

Devyn had prepared her excuses, but Jim didn’t even ask for them, just called Bones and Spock over to talk to them instead, like it was a debriefing.

”She’s a bit tipsy,” McCoy said. “Had half a bottle of synth beer. Hypo I gave her will clear it right out of her system.”

”She acquired the alcohol via a replicator malfunction and decided to try it on a whim. I will re-examine the programming on her meal card at the soonest possible opportunity.”

Jim snorted. “She told you that?”

”Indeed.”

”Yeah, that’s a lie. If there was even the possibility of a ‘free beer’ replicator glitch, trust me, the whole ship would know about it. I would know about it,” he said. “She’s protecting someone, which means there is someone on this ship who is supplying minors with alcohol.”

He strode over to the biobed she sat on, his blues at his sides.

”Cadet Kirkkar,” he said. “You have committed a breach of the ethical code of conduct in regards to Regulation 9.57 of the Starfleet Code. This is grounds for immediate expulsion.”

Devyn paled celery-green, eyes huge.

 “However,” he said. “I won’t write you up for this. On one condition. Tell me where you got the alcohol. And don’t feed me that bullshit about the replicator glitch, we both know that’s not true.”

She wilted under his gaze. “Tyler gave it to me. Cadet Morrison.”

”Morrison’s only nineteen. Where’d he get it?”

“...Mary Gillette is good at coding. She was dating Quinn— Cadet Grant. As a favor, she reprogrammed his and Tyler’s mealcards to think they were over twenty-one.”

”Exactly how many of you cadets were involved in this?”

She faltered. That was all the answer Jim needed.

“I bet you’re all wondering why I’ve called you here,” Jim said, pacing slowly in front of the line of terrified cadets at brisk attention.

Gillette was trying very hard to make it seem like she wasn’t drunk. It was fairly obvious.

”I’ve decided to promote you all,” he said with a shark-like smile. “You’re all yeomen now.”

He paused for dramatic effect, and continued slowly walking in front of them.

”Medbay-assigned yeomen, to be specific. You’re essentially orderlies. We’re in desperate need of them with that bout of Andorian fever that’s going around,” he said. “You’re all to report directly to Dr. McCoy. You are going to do anything and everything he says. You are going to clean bedpans and puke buckets and get the ailing patients whatever they desire. Andorian fever tends to make people a bit... whiny and cranky, shall we say, so be careful not to upset them.”

Manuel raised his hand hesitantly. “Captain Kirk? This is an abuse of your power. You aren’t our drill sergeant; there are regulations against this.”

He nodded. “I am aware, Yeoman. Any of you who refuse this so graciously offered promotion will be required to report to medbay for an immediate blood-alcohol test that will go on your permanent record,” he said. “I am gonna give you a fair warning though, as someone who’s been on the other side of McCoy’s wrath. He’s in a mood.”

Chapter Text

Their “promotion” was set to last a month. During that month, Devyn learned some things.

Medbay was hell and Uncle Bones was the Devil. He ruled over his domain with an iron fist. He barked orders at them, hurled insults, assigned the most demeaning tasks on a whim, and was perpetually in a bad mood— at least when it came to the cadets.

Devyn was not spared. If anything, she had it worse.

She frequently envisioned him with horns and a tail. She was surprised he didn’t use a whip to make them move faster.

She was slightly afraid that if she suggested it, then he really would.

All the cadets also had a newfound respect for Nurse Chapel, who was a woman of steel and unphased by anything. If McCoy was the Devil, then she was the queen of hell.

Tyler was considering switching to med track. The other cadets refused to speak to him for the rest of the day when he confessed that. Shalla kept shooting him glares.

 “Mr. Lurry, if there was no emergency, why did you issue a Priority One distress call?” Kirk snapped.

”That was my order, Captain,” another man said.

”Captain Kirk, this is Nilz Baris. He’s out from Earth to take charge of the development project for Sherman’s Planet.”

”And that gives you the authority to put an entire quadrant on defense alert?” 

“Mr. Baris is the Federation undersecretary in charge of agricultural affairs in this quadrant,” a third man said.

”That gives him the authority,” Spock murmured.

Jim wanted to punch someone. Mr. Baris, specifically.

”This is my assistant, Arne Darvin,” Baris said.

”And this is my First Officer Mr. Spock.”

He hates this hated this hated this. Fuck diplomacy so much.

”And now, Captain, I want all available security guards. I want them posted around the storage compartments,” Baris said.

”Storage compartments? Storage compartments?”

”The storage compartments containing the quadro-triticale,” Darvin said.

”The what? What’s quadro-triticale?” A vial was placed into his hand, and he poured out some blue grain. “Wheat. So what?”

”Quadro-triticale is not wheat, Captain. Of course, I wouldn’t expect you or Mr. Spock to know about such things, but quadro-triticale is a rather—“

”Quadro-triticale is a high-yield grain, a four-lobed hybrid of wheat and rye. A perennial also, if I’m not mistaken. It’s root grain, triticale, can trace its ancestry all the way back to twentieth century Canada—“

”Spock, you’ve made your point,” Jim half-whispered. As much as he loved to watch his husband stick it to a bunch of bureaucrats who assumed the ‘Fleet was full of nothing but phaser-toting idiots, he really didn’t want to find out how these assholes might retaliate when insulted.

”Quadro-triticale is the only Earth grain that will grow on Sherman’s Planet. We have several tons of it here on the station. And it’s very important that that grain get to Sherman’s Planet safely. Mr. Baris thinks that Klingon agents may try to sabotage it,” Lurry said.

”You issued a Priority One distress call for a couple of tons of wheat?!”

”Quadro-triticale,” Darvin corrected indignantly. Jim glared at him.

”Of course, Captain, I realize that we—“

”Mr. Baris, you summoned the Enterprise without an emergency. You’ll take full responsibility for it.”

 "What do you mean?"

"Misuse of the Priority One channel is a Federation offense," Spock said.

"I did not misuse the Priority One channel. I want that grain protected!"

"Captain, couldn't you at least post a couple of guards?" Lurry asked. "We do have a large number of ships coming through."

"It would seem a logical precaution, Captain. The Sherman's Planet affair is of extreme importance to the Federation," Spock said.

But they're such assholes!

Nevertheless, Captain, they are assholes who make a good point.

They do not!

If you agree now, then we can leave now. We have had some harrowing missions as of late. Perhaps the crew would appreciate this relatively easy one.

Dammit.

"Kirk to Enterprise," he said, flipping his comm open. 

"Enterprise here," Uhura said.

"Secure from general quarters. Beam down two-- and only two-- security guards. Have them report to Mr. Lurry. Authorize shore leave for all off-duty personnel."

"Yes, Captain."

"Kirk out."

"Captain Kirk, how dare you authorize just two men for a project of this importance?" Baris asked.

Jim really hoped both the security guards ended up being women.

"Starfleet Command will hear about this--"

"I have never questioned the orders or the intelligence of any representative of the Federation," Jim said, walking halfway out the room. "Until now."

"Hey, Pavel. We're all going down to the starbase, wanna come with?" Devyn asked.

"I already promised Nyota I would go shopping with her, sorry."

"Maybe next time," Shalla said.

"Yes, next time."

That left Devyn, Gronk, and Shalla.

They immediately hit the shops.

Gronk was more into pastel colors and flounces and ruffles, Shalla all leather jackets and dark colors and a dozen glittering piercings in her ears. Devyn dressed more for practicality and mobility, and bright, bright colors that stood out against her skin.

Then they stumbled across a hair salon. An actual, honest-to-god hair salon.

Gronk and Devyn went nuts.

"Shalla, you have to get something done too. You won't see another one of these until you're back on Earth at the Academy," Devyn said.

"I mean," she said. "I don't exactly have much hair to style."

"Your own fault for cutting it so short," Gronk said. Shalla shrugged, pushing her fingers through her undercut and ruffling it up slightly.

"I know! You could dye your fringe!" Devyn said.

Shalla snapped her fingers. "Now see, that I could get on board with."

A half hour later, Shalla had red streaks on her bangs, in sharp contrast to her pale blue skin. Gronk got a perm, on both her head hair and on her beard. Devyn promised to weave flowers into it later. She herself just got hers cut and styled a bit.

They exited the salon and wandered down to the starbase's promenade, stopping at a Deltan restaurant. The place was beautiful, fine silks and cloths hanging from the ceiling, the entire place glittering with lights and glass decorations. The food looked just as good.

Two Klingon boys immediately approached them, and Devyn instinctively reached for a phaser she didn't have.

What the fuck were Klingons doing on a Federation starbase? Why weren't people freaking out? They were just... staring.

"Oh, I know this one," one of the Klingons said. "An Andorian, a Tellarite, and an Orion walk into a bar." His gaze settled on Devyn. "Or should I say a whorehouse?"

Gronk bared her teeth. "You will not speak of my friend this way. Apologize, you hol'joknyea."

"Aw, you've got a little pigwoman to fight your battles for you."

"I'm perfectly capable of fighting my own battles," Devyn said lowly.

And then she proved it.

 Jim was having a very shitty day.

And then he walked into a conference room to find a crowd huddled around Uhura and a bunch of fuzzy creatures.

"How long have you had that little thing?" Bones asked.

"Since yesterday," Uhura said. "This morning I found out that she had had babies." She smiled and continued petting the mother.

"Well, I'd say in that case, you got a bargain," he said. 

"You running a nursery, Lieutenant?" Jim asked, looking at the frankly alarming number of creatures scattered over his conference table. All of these had come from just one litter? The poor mother.

"Oh, Captain," she said. "Well, I hadn't intended to, sir, but the tribble had other plans."

"Did you get this at the space station?"

"Yes, sir."

Even Spock was holding a little white tribble and petting it. "A most curious creature, Captain. Its trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am... immune, to its effect."

The entire room was staring at him as Spock gently, lovingly stroked the little tribble. It was the most adorable thing Jim had ever seen in his life-- except for his kids when they were babies. Warm affection bloomed in the center of his chest and stayed there. Spock was so great. How had Jim ever ended up with him as a husband?

God. If only it were real.

But watching Spock be so tender and affectionate... Maybe it wasn't such a shitty day after all.

 Getting the call that Devyn, her friends, and two slightly older Klingon boys were in the starbase's detention facility was quickly followed by the call informing him that eleven of his crewmen had gotten into a bar fight, of all things, with some very drunk Klingons.

Jim really hated Captain fucking Koloth. What sort of an idiot thought a Federation-Klingon mutual shore leave was a good idea? And by treaty, the Federation couldn't even refuse to host them.

But just because the fights had been inevitable didn't mean Jim was any less mad.

"I wanna know who started it," he said. He had all the bar brawlers lined up in a row at attention, same way he had done with the cadets who'd gotten caught drinking a month ago. It was supposed to be reminiscent of the Academy's first semester boot camp. Really helped psychologically.

"I'm waiting," he said. "Freeman. Who started the fight?"

"I don't know, sir," he said, looking dead ahead, unseeing.

"Alright," Jim said. He'd need easier prey. "Chekov. I know you. You started it, didn't you?"

"No, sir, I didn't."

"Well who did?"

"I don't know, sir."

"'I don't know, sir'," he repeated. Seemed to be a popular phrase today. "I want to know who threw the first punch. You're all confined to quarters until I find out who started it. Dismissed."

They all turned on their heels and filed out in an orderly row.

"Not you, Scotty," he said. "I sent you down there to keep everyone out of trouble."

"Aye, Captain."

"Who threw the first punch, Scotty?"

"Um..."

"Scotty."

"I did, Captain."

"You did?!" The man winced. "Over what?"

"They insulted us, sir."

"That must have been some insult." Scotty was almost as hard to provoke as Spock. But then again, drunk Klingons.

"Aye, it was!" he said.

"You threw the first punch." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Aye. Chekov wanted to, but I held him back."

"You held-- Why did Chekov want to start a fight?"

"Um... Well, the Klingons, sir... Is this off the record?"

"No, this is not off the record, why would this be off the record? Starfleet officers got in a physical altercation against Klingon agents. Do you have any idea how bad this looks? Why did Chekov want to start a fight?"

"Well, Captain, uh... the Klingons called you a, uh, a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood."

"Is that all?"

It was impressive, but Jim's been called worse. One time old Doc Holliday down the road called the cops on him when he was eighteen because he'd seen Devyn toddling around a few times and he thought Jim was keeping her as a slave, possibly planning on selling her. Then Jim had to prove to the police that he had legally adopted her, but they still sort of bought Doc Holliday's story even then, so Devyn ended up in foster care for a few days while Jim was investigated.

She was four at the time. She spent the whole weekend away crying, and was extra clingy when she was given back.

"No, sir. They also compared you to a Denibian slime devil."

"And then they said that you were a--"

"I get the picture, Scotty," he said. "And after they said all this, that's when you hit the Klingons?"

He was sort of honored, in a way. His crew would fight Klingons for him. Of course they would, on his orders, because he was their captain. But. Also they'd fight Klingons of their own volition, just for talking shit about him.

He loved his crew. And his crew loved him.

"No, sir," Scotty said.

"No?"

"No, I didn't. You told us to avoid trouble."

"Yeah?"

"And I didn't see that it was worth fightin' about."

His crew did not love him.

Scotty continued. "After all, we're big enough to take a few insults. Aren't we?"

"Scotty, what the hell did they say that did make you start the fight?"

"They called the Enterprise a garbage scow! Sir."

"I see," he said. "And that's when you hit the Klingons?"

"Yes, sir."

This was fucking depressing.

Reminded Jim a bit of the time the entire crew very happily abandoned him while under the influence of sex pollen. 

And the day was back to shitty, just like that.

 Spock hated working in the lab with McCoy. He especially hated how frequently it occurred. There was simply too much overlap in their respective fields.

Currently, they were surrounded by tribbles. The study of the creatures' biology was going remarkably slowly.

Spock was scooping tribbles into a bowl for storage purposes. They seemed pleased with this development.

"What's the matter, Spock?" McCoy asked.

"There's something disquieting about these creatures," he said.

"Oh? Don't tell me you've got a feeling."

"Do not insult me, Doctor. They remind me of the lilies of the field. 'They do not toil, nor do they spin.' But they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them."

"Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice, they're soft, and they're furry, and they make a pleasant sound."

"So would an Ermine violin, Doctor, but I see no advantage in having one."

"It is a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're cute in some way."

"Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I have trained myself to put up with practically anything."

"Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there is one thing that I have discovered. I like them. More than I like you."

"They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic."

"What's that?"

"They do not talk too much."

 Jim stared at his daughter and her friends all sitting together in a holding cell.

"Gronk, your father will be along shortly," he said. "As for you two, cadets, I'm writing you up. This incident will be going on your records. And I've decided to so generously extend your promotion to yeomen for another month. You're welcome."

"I'm sorry," Devyn said.

She was covered in bruises, scrapes, green Orion blood and magenta Klingon blood. Her red shorts were completely ruined. She looked absolutely ridiculous. Jim sighed.

"I'm disappointed in you more than anything. Just because you can fight doesn't mean you should. If you're going into security work, then that's the most important lesson you can learn. I thought you already knew that."

"They called Gronk a pigwoman," she said quietly. Shalla's eyebrows shot up.

"They called you a whore," she said. She turned toward her captain. "They were making blatantly xenophobic comments, Captain. Devyn doesn't start fights for no good reason."

Great, because this needed to be more complicated.

Can he even punish them now? What sort of message would that send? But if he doesn't punish them, then that's sending a different message entirely. It'll be the second time they got away scot-free when regs say they should have gotten written up.

"What was the last straw?" he asked.

"Them calling Gronk a pigwoman," Devyn said instantly.

"You didn't hit them when they called you a whore?"

"No, sir."

Well, fuck. How could he possibly write her up for this? On the other hand, how could he not?

He couldn't even ask Spock for advice, because he wasn't exactly an impartial third party.

This whole situation sucks.

He has to file a report. He doesn't have to condemn them. He nods and signs them out.

The tribbles got into the grain. The grain then turned out to be poisoned. By Darvin, who was apparently a Klingon agent.

Cyrano Jones was given the task of picking up every tribble on the starbase. It would take him 17.9 years. As an alternative to a 20-year prison sentence for transporting animals proven harmful to human life.

Never let it be said that Kirk is not a negotiator.

"I don't see any tribbles around here," he said, looking around his bridge. The place had been covered with them earlier. He'd had to physically take one from Chekov, who wasn't manning his station because he was too busy petting the little thing.

"And you won't find a tribble on this entire ship," McCoy said.

"Bones! How'd you do that?"

He clicked his tongue. "I can't take credit for another man's work. Scotty did it."

"Scotty!" he said. "Where are the tribbles?"

"Oh, um, Captain, it was really Mr. Spock's recommendation."

"Spock. Of course." He turned to his bondmate.

"Based on computer analysis, of course, taking into account the possibilities of--"

"Okay, not to interrupt this mutual admiration society, but I'd like to know where the tribbles are."

"Tell him, Spock," Bones said.

"Well, it was Mr. Scott who performed the actual engineering."

Scotty paled.

"Mr. Scott," Jim said tersely. "Where. Are. The tribbles?"

"I used the transporter, Captain."

"You used the transporter?" he asked. "Well, where did you transport them?"

Nobody said anything. Nobody met his eye, either.

Horror slithered down his spine like ice water. "Scott, you didn't transport them into space, did you?"

"Captain Kirk, that would be inhumane."

"Where are they?"

"I gave them a very good home, sir."

"Where?!"

"I gave them to the Klingons, sir."

His face lit up. This was the first good thing that had happened all day. "You gave them to the Klingons?"

"Aye, sir. Before they went into warp, I transported the whole kit and caboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all."

Chapter Text

“It’s very important that this mission goes well. Delta IV is relatively new to the Federation-- only joined a few decades ago-- and while they have a strong sense of species unity, they don’t quite have that for the Federation yet. We’re to be one of five starships in attendance for the High Queen’s coronation, but as the flagship, it’s extra important that we represent the very best of the Federation. We’re to beam down twenty crewmen, and I’m only taking the best,” Jim said. “Dr. McCoy?”

Bones stood up and addressed the room. “Deltans are a pheromone-producing species. Similar to Orions. However, unlike Orions, both sexes produce pheromones and they affect everyone the same way. You will be attracted to them. This ability is likely aided by their mild telepathic and empathic abilities. They look just like tall and thin humans, if humans were entirely hairless except for their eyebrows and lashes.”

Jim nodded to Uhura, and she stood as Bones sat. “Their culture is very honest and open. Almost all of their cultural interactions revolve around sex; however, a non-Deltan having sex with a Deltan almost always results in insanity for the non-Deltan. Do not engage with them under any circumstances. This shouldn’t be hard, as they view other species as less sexually mature and have created a taboo around interspecies relationships. It’s the reason all Deltans in Starfleet are required to take an oath of celibacy upon enlistment. This is for your own protection. Nobody has had sex with a Deltan and lived to tell the tale. There’s an extremely emotional telepathic element to it that other species simply can’t handle. Do not take this warning lightly. The risk is very real, I assure you.”

“Because the planet is so covered in pheromones and telepathic projections, most diplomatic affairs take place on one of Delta IV’s moons. However, this is the High Queen’s ascension to the throne. That simply won’t do this time around. The Deltans are counting on us to be able to control ourselves. This is their most sacred, celebrated cultural event in decades. Don’t fuck it up,” Jim said. “Dr. McCoy will be administering hyposprays to inhibit the worst of the effects in all members of the landing party.”

“These people are very socially and sexually open,” Uhura said. “They're honest, highly emotional, and place a great value on sensuality of all kinds. They may seem cool and aloof to you. That’s just how they are.”

“Remember, we are guests on this planet,” Jim said. “We are here to show honor to the High Queen. You are to be respectful and courteous at all times. Anybody who slips up is grounded from the next twenty away missions. This coronation is a huge deal, and the higher ups in the Federation want to make sure everything goes perfectly. I will accept no excuses whatsoever.”

Jim gave one final, sweeping glare to his crew. They all stood at perfect attention, listening raptly. Or at least appearing to.

“Right. So the landing party will consist of myself, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Sulu, Giotto, Hendorff, Scott, Frederickson, K’kluub, Martinez, Smith, Nguyen, Washington, Xtor, Phillips, Lullulanmi, Santiago, DeSalle, and Biederstedt. Any questions?”

Devyn’s alarm blared and she shot up like a bullet, squealing, and jumping out of bed. She barged into her dad’s room and shook him awake.

“It’s my birthday!” she shrieked.

“Oh my god. It’s also the middle of the night,” Jim said. He rolled over and squished a pillow over his head, hoping to block her out.

“It’s not the middle of the night, it’s 0500 hours. And I know for a fact that you sometimes wake up even earlier than this.”

He groaned.

“Dad, it’s not just my birthday, it’s my sixteenth birthday. I’m a legal adult now!”

He sat up groggily. “What?”

“Sixteen is the age of majority for Orions. I’m a legal adult now. I’m not a little kid anymore!”

“No,” Jim said. “What the… heck? You were five yesterday. I distinctly remember you wearing pigtails and getting glitter all over the entire house and also in my hair.”

“I’m a grown-up now!”

“No, you aren’t. Real grown-ups don’t call themselves grown-ups. They say adults.”

She rolled her eyes and flounced out of the roll. “Whatever. I have to go call all of my friends.”

She shut the door behind her and Jim flopped back down into bed. He had the worst headache of his life.

Jim had no clue when Devyn’s actual birthday was, so he just set it as the same day as his own half-birthday, the day he actually celebrated it on. It was simple, it was easy, they could just do one combined thing or skip Jim’s altogether and then they were done for the entire year. It was great.

Then Jim joined Starfleet and got posted on a ship full of busybodies.

Who told the High Queen all about it and also Devyn at her reception banquet.

“Captain Kirk,” she admonished lightly. “Surely you didn’t intend to hide your daughter from me?”

“Of course not, Your Magnificentness. I simply didn’t want to display nepotism. I was instructed to bring only the best, most highly decorated and accomplished officers down with me, and well, Devyn, she’s only a cadet.”

“Nevertheless,” the High Queen said. “She is the daughter of the captain of Starfleet’s flagship. Even if she were not involved in the organization herself, I should expect her attendance. You must beam her down at once.”

“Alright,” Jim said, smiling at her. He pulled out his communicator and flipped it open. “Captain Kirk to Enterprise. Have Cadet Kirkkar report to the transporter room for immediate beam down. In dress uniform. Kirk out.”

Five minutes later, a very confused Devyn was wearing a red silk dress and standing in the middle of the massive reception hall, being quickly ushered into the High Queen’s presence.

She immediately flushed green and gave a deep curtsy. The High Queen seemed thoroughly amused.

“Captain, you never mentioned your daughter was an Orion.”

Kirk smiled tightly. “Yes, well. It didn’t come up.”

“Where is her mother?”

Dead, rotting in the livingroom of an abandoned house on Tarsus IV. Probably a skeleton by now.

“Oh, Devyn’s adopted,” he said. “Her other father, though, is my First Officer here, Mr. Spock.”

Spock inclined his head in acknowledgement.

The High Queen’s eyes sparkled. “How very… Deltan. It is said that humans are very backwards sexually, with primitive attitudes. But I must say, Captain Kirk, you are proving to be quite exceptional.”

Devyn was dismissed to go mingle in the crowd, most of whom were snobby old diplomats or nobles. She ended up standing on the sidelines, sipping a drink that was deep purple and tasted like berries. Possibly alcoholic.

A girl about her age came up and stood next to her, a matching drink in hand. “Boring, isn’t it?”

She snorted. “You’re telling me."

“It’s just an excuse for pompous old politicians to show off and brag about their connections. Delta has balls like this quite frequently, you know. This one’s just fancier than most,” she said. “Makes it even worse in my opinion.”

“You come to a lot of these things?” Devyn asked.

“Unfortunately,” she grimaced. “One of the many perks of nobility.”

Devyn glanced over at the girl and really looked at her now. She had dark skin and fathomless black eyes. Her headdress was one of the fanciest ones she had seen-- made entirely of gold and glittering all over with rubies and dilithium crystals. Her gown was equally elegant and expensive for the sake of being expensive. The girl was weighted down with a ridiculous amount of that fine, opulent jewelry Delta was so famous for.

Yeah, she was a noble alright.

“I’m only here because of my dad,” Devyn said. “He’s the captain of the Enterprise-- it’s the flagship? And I guess apparently that makes me important by association.”

The girl turned her searing gaze onto her. “Yes, I suppose you are,” she said. “By technicality, you would make an honorable mate.”

“Uh?”

“My mother intends to marry me off to another noble. I have no intention of allowing this. I have found other nobles to routinely be stuffy and arrogant. Their company is dull, and what is worse is that they do not think it so. And yet I have found no other willing to marry me.”

“That sucks,” Devyn said. “I’d totally marry you. You seem cool.”

“You would?” she asked.

She shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Those other girls don’t know what they’re missing out on. They would only be so lucky.”

“You truly believe so?”

“Of course,” she said vehemently.

The girl smiled brightly, like Devyn had just made her day.

“You must excuse me for a moment. I have arrangements to make.”

Devyn smiled and excused her with a wave of her hand. The girl kept glancing backwards to smile at her as she walked away. Devyn grinned into her drink.

The High Queen stood to make an announcement.

“People of the Federation,” she said, her voice smooth like silk. “The first sun now sets and our most happy occasion today is drawing to a close. But a great blessing has been bestowed upon us today. We shall finish off this momentous event in a ceremonial uniting of the people of Delta IV and the rest of the Federation. Today, as the second sun sets, we will celebrate the wedding of my daughter, Princess Ayapa, and the daughter of the esteemed Captain Kirk, Kirkkar Devyn of Terra.”