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I’m Looking for You Now (지금 널 찾아가고 있어)

Summary:

“On the day your time and my time meet, I will hold you.
Until I arrive, you have to be well.
I really, really miss you.”

 

Lee Jihoon is a renowned landscape photographer with a penchant for wanderlust who travels to the small town of Itomori where he meets Kwon Soonyoung, an enthusiastic portrait artist who dreams of the far off city.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

 


FOUR.

 

“Wait, you’re already on the train?”

Jihoon hushed his phone, glancing around uncomfortably as the loud exasperation from Mingyu gathered the unwanted attention of other passengers. The rumble of tracks was loud enough to cover their conversation, but his childhood friend had a habit of being abnormally loud and distracting. Jihoon smiled apologetically to an older group of ladies who were side eyeing him, pulling out his most charming grin. They seemed to take that as fair payment for his interruption before going back to their knitting.

“Yes, I am already on the train.” Jihoon replied indignantly as he pulled out the boxed lunch he had bought at the station, having left his apartment before he’d been able to eat breakfast.

“You weren’t even here for more than a week,” Mingyu said, sounding somewhere in between hurt and disbelief.

Jihoon could merely hum, having nothing else to say. He had a weakness to what most called ‘wanderlust’ or the uncontrollable urge to travel. Mingyu claimed it was more like the inability to stay in one place for more than a month. His family had always hoped it was a phase, but since his accident he hadn’t been home for more than two months at a time. It didn’t help that the urges tended to hit Jihoon at the strangest and most inconvenient of times. Usually he was already on a train or a plane before his friends and family even knew he was gone.

He knew his habits sometimes made the others worry, but Jihoon’s personality was that of an untamed storm. If confined he would only get more volatile, so they were forced to let him wander as he wished.

“Fine,” Mingyu huffed, seeming to come to a conclusion. “But you do remember that my birthday party is this week, right? You said you would come.”

“Ah… Of course.” Jihoon mumbled, like he’d remembered, even though he most certainly had not. “Right. Yeah, I’ll be there.”

He could practically hear Mingyu’s scowl through the phone. Honestly, he should have gotten used to Jihoon’s tendencies by now. Sometimes Jihoon wondered how Mingyu continued to stand him.

“I intended to keep this a secret, but you leave me with no choice!” Mingyu said indignantly. “I invited Choi Seungcheol to keep you company, so you better be there!”

Jihoon blinked, the name ringing familiarity in his ears and bringing back fond past memories. He hadn’t heard that name in a couple of years, not since they’d crossed paths in France while he was visiting a mutual friends exhibit. He was a high school senior of Jihoon’s, and now a well respected photography sponsor. Jihoon saw him more on the cover of magazines and on TV than in person.

“Well, I’ll be glad to see him then,” Jihoon replied simply. “Its been awhile since we’ve met.”

“Don’t act like you were just friends!” Mingyu hissed, disapproval in his tone. “I know you were fond of him years ago.”

Jihoon gasped, scandalized. “That was back in college! We took a couple classes together. There was nothing going on!” Even though he wouldn’t admit it, he could remember a few couple fond moments, but nothing had ever progressed after they’d parted ways.

“Well then, think of it as a way to rekindle old flames.” Mingyu replied smugly.

Jihoon groaned, reaching up to rub his temples to ward off the oncoming headache. “You’re worse than my mother.”

“And the poor woman is right. You’re much too young to be single. Aren’t you ever going to settle down?”

He just rolled his eyes. “I’ll settle down when I’m dead, Mingyu.”

“I’m serious Jihoon,” Mingyu said, for once sounding sincerely worried. Jihoon felt the crushing weight of guilt fall onto his shoulders at the realization that he was making his friend conerned. “We’ve known each other for a long time, but you’ve never been this bad. You don’t talk to anyone, not me, not your mom. You haven’t stayed in once place for more than two weeks. You’re always spaced out, you don’t smile anymore. Please, if there’s something wrong, tell me.”

Jihoon relaxed back into his chair, unconsciously rubbing the soreness that had developed years ago in his left leg after his accident. He stared out the window of the train, watching the scenery flash by in a wave of green and blue hues. He contemplated the thought.

Was there something wrong? Not that he could think of. His mom had moved into her new apartment, his fathers business was doing well, and his friends were supportive and kind. He’d gotten invited to display his work in a number of exhibits, and he had an interview with a high end magazine in a month. In a picturesque world there was nothing wrong, he was the ideal image of a young successful man. But he couldn’t help the small itch at the back of his mind that wouldn’t go away.

“I feel like I’m constantly running, Mingyu.” He said. He felt like he was stuck on a treadmill watching the world move around him, unable to move forward. “Like I’m looking for something and I’m not supposed to stop until I’ve found it.”

Instead of his usual jabs or nagging, for once in his life Kim Mingyu was quiet. Finally he said, “It sounds to me like you’re looking for someone, not something.”

Jihoon just nodded, letting himself be drawn into the dreamlike rural scenery that flew by. “Maybe that’s it then. Ever since that day, that feelings possessed me. l’m searching for someone.”

“Well then,”Mingyu said, trying to sound cheerful though there was still the tone of hesitance and worry in his tone, “I hope you find them soon.”

“Me too, Mingyu. Me too.”



Jihoon arrived at his destination around midway, when the sun was just nearing the horizon. As usual he didn’t have a plan, merely deciding to ride the train to the last stop and let fate take him on an adventure.

He took the bus from there, which dropped him off at the edge of a dirt road. It was a rather empty area, the only thing around an old convenience store and a post office. The kind old lady running the shop directed him down the path where the closest town was a twenty minute walk.

The area was quite beautiful. Farming lands stretched out for miles past which mountains boasted large peaks and peaceful rivers. The road he walked on was stone and dirt, pressed into the earth from tractors, pedestrians and the occasional car. He took a couple of pictures, of the long empty hills and the wide open sky, but opted to wait until he was settled to get started.

About half an hour later, since he walked slow to appreciate the crisp air, he finally arrived at the entrance to the town which was marked by a beautifully constructed bridge. It was painted a pretty midnight blue, engraved with swirling marks and pictures, an image straight out of a history textbook. Brightly colored fish darted in and out of the clear river that flowed beneath it. From the edge of the entrance he could just see the small town that stretched down inside the cliff, which laid at the edge of a large lake.

“Pretty,” he hummed, already liking the feel that the town offered. He stepped onto the bridge, feeling the sturdy wood under his feet and hearing the creak of time. He was just about to continue when he heard an exclamation that shocked him out of his thoughts.

“Don’t move!”

Jihoon stopped with one foot in the air. He hadn’t spotted him before, but now he noticed the person sitting on the rocks underneath the bridge, feet dangled in the moving stream. A palette of watercolors dangled hazardously atop a rock and an artist sketchbook was propped onto one knee. The young man had long trousers that were rolled up to avoid the splashes of water, and a loose white shirt that covered pale skin from the sun. Messy black hair dipped over his eyes, which were slanted and narrowed in concentration. It took Jihoon a moment to realize he wasn’t looking at him, but rather at the fish that were darting through the water, and the dragonflies that flit through the air.

At Jihoon’s sudden movement, the fish that had been lazying around scattered. The boy let out a hum of disappointment just as Jihoon softly let his foot back down.

“Sorry,” Jihoon said, sincere. He recognized an artists disappointment; the feeling when a photo hadn’t come out right, or he had missed a crucial timing. He didn’t like being the one to cause that.

“Nothing to be sorry about, not your fault,” the boy laughed, a lightheartedness appearing on his face. When he looked up he froze, as if finally realizing that there was someone he was speaking to.

Jihoon blinked, unsure of what to say to the gaping face that was staring intently at him. “I’m sorry for interrupting.”

The boy jumped to his feet. He landed straight in the river, water splashing onto his trousers and making his art supplies shake precariously on the edge of the rocks. He didn’t seem to mind, rapidly climbing from the water to wring out his pants. “Not at all! Really, don’t worry about that, I was just doing some sketches. I’m sorry about myself! I was just surprised, is all. You’re a new face.”

Jihoon blinked in confusion once again. He took a curious glance at himself, thinking that his jeans, hoodie and backpack combination were quite inconspicuous. “Do I stand out that much?”

“No, no!” He said it so quickly that he almost dropped his sketchbook into the water. As if sensing his own excitement, he took a deep breath, smoothing down his clothes and trying to tame his messy hair. “No, you don’t. It’s just that I know everyone here, know their faces very well. And it’s a small town. So I can just tell you’re new.”

“Ah.” Jihoon knew he sounded rude but he wasn’t quite sure what else to say.

The boy laughed, a clear sound like a bell, warm and kind and pleasant to the ears. “What an introduction, everyone always tells me I tend to babble. My name is Soonyoung. It’s nice to meet you. We don’t get many new faces around here, what brings you to Itomori?”

“So that’s what this town is called?” Jihoon hummed, locking the name into his memory. “My name is Jihoon. I’m a photographer and I was hoping to take some pictures here.”

“Really?” Soonyoung’s eyes lit up. He seemed barely able to control his excitement, running his hands through his hair and practically bouncing in his spot. It was a unique response, one that Jihoon didn’t receive often. Most passed off his work as a folly, and very few were ever interested unless he showed off the fame and money he’d received because of his pictures. Judgment was more often to follow and although Jihoon had gotten used to the stares and the side handed comments, it was a nice breath of fresh air.

Soonyoung looked around, as if taking in the scenery for the first time. “Not much to look at around here.”

“Nonsense,” Jihoon disagreed, a soft smile coming to his face. “I’m a landscape photographer, your town is quite beautiful. There’s plenty.”

And it was true, not just to contradict him. Looking down into the town Jihoon could see the sun shining onto the lake and peeking over the mountains that seemed straight from a movie. The town gave a sense of timelessness, mixing modern society with ancient history in the way that a rock would stand still while the river passed by it. Nostalgia hit Jihoon suddenly in a way that he couldn’t understand.

It was a strange feeling, something he didn’t frequently experience. Jihoon’s life was a constant river, bright colors flowing past that threatened to overwhelm him. He wasn’t the sedentary rock, he was the fish that got swept away by the current.

When he finally came to, daydreaming a habit he often fell victim to, Soonyoung was still standing there, a pleasant smile on his face as if he was caught up in the same peaceful experience that he was.

Jihoon coughed uncomfortably, feeling the sudden urge to the fill the silence between them. Soonyoung’s smile only grew wider, more amused than put off by Jihoon’s awkward personality. “Why don’t you head inside,” he offered politely, smile as warm as ever. “Head just down the stairs and continue until you get to the town center. There’s an inn, but I would stop by the mayors office to ask for permission to photograph. It’s a huge red building, you won’t miss it.”

Jihoon smiled, returning the kindness. “Thank you Soonyoung, I appreciate it.” The boy’s grin widened, his eyes disappearing into the crinkles of his eyes. He settled back into the shallows of the water, pulling out his drawing materials as the fish began to reassemble. Jihoon took one last look at the scene, of the sun rays shining down upon dark locks, of the water lapping at the hem of his pants and the fish nibbling at his toes.

The sound of a camera going off filled the silence.

Jihoon gaped, more at himself than anything. Somehow in an almost dreamlike state he had taken his camera from his bag and snapped a picture.

He knew he had an almost uncontrollable trigger finger, automatically taking pictures of photographable moments, but he had never taken portraits before. He stuck to landscapes and the most anyone could get out of him was a self with their shitty phone camera. It wasn’t him being snobbish, but he had never felt the urge to photograph people. Their monotonous lives bored him, and candid pictures seemed fake.

But the image of the boy sitting underneath the warm summer rays had felt so genuine and so familiar that it seemed his subconcious had needed to capture the moment.

Jihoon quickly put his camera away, turning away so fast he hoped Soonyoung hadn’t noticed.

Strange, very strange.



The stairs built into the side of the mountain were sturdy but old, the stones uneven from grass and flowers that had grown in between cracks formed from age. It was a lengthy walk down into the town, but one that allowed Jihoon to fully appreciate the scenery that surrounded him.

In the late afternoon light the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, casting beautiful hues of pink and orange across the shimmering blue waters of the lake. In the middle of April the greenery was in full bloom, greens dotted with hues of yellow, pink and red smattered like splashes of paint. The houses that were built into the mountain slope were faded pastels with vines climbing the sides and gardens at every free space. The town was overall quiet, the occasional villager taking a walk, resting outside of their house, or playing with young children.

The fresh air was different from the acid smoke of the city, and the soft peaceful sounds of nature was music to his ears in comparison to the bustling of cars and traffic. In that moment Jihoon could’ve fallen asleep on a grassy ledge and gotten lost in time.

The town center was small and similar to the rest. It had a circular walkway that surrounded a fountain and a courtyard, with storefronts on either side and carts selling food and trinkets. Lanterns hung in crisscrossing patterns and flowers were displayed in every windowsill.

Jihoon’s gaze was immediately stolen by the fountain. It was something akin to a mural, a large stone slab with a magical mosaic pattern that depicted stars falling from the sky.

Unable to turn his gaze away from the perfectly lit scene, Jihoon carefully removed his camera from his bag and positioned himself to take a couple of pictures. The scene was just too good to miss.

He was only able to snap a few shots before someone cleared there throat behind him and Jihoon had to remove himself from his artistic bubble.

Behind him stood an older man, with an intimidating aura that made Jihoon stand a bit straighter and clasp his hands in front of his body politely.

“May I help you sir?” The man asked, his tone harsh and bland. His age was hard to distinguish, a younger looking face disrupted by graying hair and wrinkling of his forehead.

“My apologies,” Jihoon said quickly. He bowed formally. “My name is Lee Jihoon, I was hoping to speak to the mayor?” He held his hand out.

The man eyed his hand before hesitantly shaking it, almost as if he didn’t want to. His hand was cold and his grip firm, much like his appearance. An air of suspicion hung over him and it was clear he didn’t trust him. “That’s me. My name is Kwon Sungjin. What can I do for your Mr. Lee?”

Jihoon wasn’t usually called Mr. Lee outside of formal award ceremonies so he could only smile out of awkwardness. “It’s nice to meet you. I was hoping that you would allow me to take some pictures of your town. I’m a photographer.”

The mayor still seemed skeptical, eyeing Jihoon like he was a dangerous outsider, which was only half true. It wasn’t the nastiest treatment he’d ever received, once he’d even been chased out of a church by a dog. The worst that could happen was the mayor would refuse, he had that right, but it was the worst outcome in Jihoon’s eyes because he would feel like he’d missed the opportunity. The town was just begging to be photographed and Jihoon wasn’t one to deny.

“I’ll show him around! Keep an eye on him and such. Make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.” The bubbly voice had Jihoon turning in surprise at the unexpected entrance of Soonyoung. He strode into the town center, trousers still rolled up and hems still wet. He spoke around the pile of art supplies balanced precariously in his hands, though his bright grin could still be spotted a mile away.

Out of compulsion Jihoon grabbed a cloth bag of colored pencils that were threatening to fall at any moment and placed them more carefully on top of the pile. Soonyoung flashed him a grateful smile in return.

The mayor didn’t seem impressed, turning even more stern now that the other young man had arrived. “I thought you had your studies you would be working on this summer?”

Soonyoung’s smile didn’t falter, seeming immune to the mans harsh interrogation. “I thought I’d take a break from studying and help out at the office this week?”

Kwon Sungjin’s eyebrows went up in surprise, but his overall face didn’t falter. He didn’t seem convinced. “That’s a surprise.” The sarcasm in his voice was even obvious to Jihoon. He could tell the relationship was tense between them, but he couldn’t understand the strange push and pull that was happening.

Soonyoung didn’t waver. “I’ll show him around in the mornings, and then be at the office after 3pm.”

The mayor tapped his chin, as if finally considering his words. “I’ll see you tomorrow at three then.”

He turned toward Jihoon, eyeing him once more as if he could sense trouble with a mere glance. “Try not to wander too much,” he grumbled before turning on his heels and striding toward the mayors office.

Jihoon let out a gush of air once the man was gone, the tenseness draining from his body. It wasn’t that the man was necessarily scary or mean, but the aura that he gave off didn’t sit well with him. It reminded him of every person that had told him photography was a waste of time and would never get him anywhere, that were now biting their tongues and sending him praises. It left a bitter taste in his mouth that he didn’t like.

Soonyoung popped into his line of vision, curly black hair bright and energetic just like him. “I got you in with the boss, so you better stay in trouble or my ass is on the line.” His tone was stern, but there was a teasing shine to his eyes and a quirk of his mouth that made Jihoon think Soonyoung was more likely to get into trouble than him.

“Not quite sure how you did it,” Jihoon commented, a light unexpectedly laugh pulled to the surface. “He seemed to really be against letting an outsider in. I was sure my ass was going to be on the line for a second.”

Soonyoung winked playfully. “The mayor and I are tight.” He leaned forward and whispered like it was a secret between them. “He’s my dad.”

Jihoon leaned back, startled. “You’re kidding.” He took a long look at Soonyoung; taking in the messy hair to the relaxed face lines and the overall childish demeanor. He was nothing like his stern, imposing father.

Soonyoung just nodded, still smiling. “I know. Quite a surprise, right?”

“You could say that again.”

Soonyoung continued to grin, excitement still bubbling inside of him. Jihoon couldn’t quite understand where he got his enormous energy from, it was like he shined like the sun. “You must be tired! I’ll show you to the inn so you can get some rest.”

Jihoon fell into step beside him, the distance between them comfortable like friends. He offered to carry a couple of things but Soonyoung waved him off, saying that he was a guest and shouldn’t be bothered. The young man kept up a stream of conversation, letting Jihoon relax and let the words flow by him. Jihoon wasn’t much one for talk, opting usually to listen in most social settings, but he found himself unconsciously drawn by his words.

“This is it, you can talk to the woman inside and she’ll get you a room for the week! You’ll even get breakfast if you ask nicely.” They stopped outside a small guesthouse, painted a pale lavender with a flowering tree outside. He could see it had only a couple of rooms and was clearly quite old, but it gave off the same nostalgic and timeless feeling that the rest of the town gave him.

Jihoon stepped past the gate, stopping at the door to turn around. Soonyoung was still standing in the street, looking ridiculous with his ruffled clothes and arms piled high with art supplies. “I’ll pick you up in the morning! 9am sharp!” He attempted a wave, but when his belongings threatened to fall he opted out of it.

Jihoon couldn’t help the sudden flush of his face, glancing around to see if anyone was around to hear as he knew the words could be quite misunderstood. “Uh yeah, bye.” He turned quickly, nearly running into the door in his rush to enter.

When he shut the door he thought he could hear the light sound of a laugh echo behind him.


 

 

THREE.

 

Jihoon awoke early the next morning, which was a strange occurrence for him. He was more oriented to being a night owl, but the stillness of the air and the peaceful silence of the countryside seemed to want to beckon him from his slumber.

He spent the morning eating a traditional breakfast next to his open window, curtesy of the nice grandmother who owned the inn, while he readied his camera for the day.

Soonyoung popped in sometime before nine, all bubbly energy and bright smiles even in the early hours of the morning.

“So, where do you want to start Mr. Photographer Lee?” Soonyoung’s grin was bright and teasing, sneaking pieces of Jihoon’s side dishes as he gathered the rest of his things.

“Jihoon’s fine,” Jihoon grumbled, giving him a halfhearted glare which merely bounced off the other boy. Usually Jihoon’s personality was quite polite and distant to those he didn’t know, but Soonyoung had a way of bringing out the playful side in him.

“Yes you are!” He laughed, cackling into his hands.

Jihoon merely rolled his eyes, letting his words slide off him. Sometimes he wondered if the other was flirting, or at least attempting to, but seeing Soonyoung practically snorting into his sleeves made Jihoon think he was just naturally cheesy and couldn’t control himself.

“Let’s start with the basics,” Jihoon said, slinging his camera bag over his shoulder.

“Yes sir!” He even saluted.

Soonyoung started their tour by taking Jihoon on a walk through the town. It wasn’t heavily populated but it was spread out throughout the trees and near the lake front. Their walk was leisurely, the sun already shining warm rays down onto their skin with a soft summer breeze to accompany it. They moved slowly, Soonyoung giving commentary about the important buildings and landmarks that were around and allowing Jihoon to snap pictures at his whim. He wrote things down in a notebook as well, liking to take notes as he went to later reference.

Jihoon was worried with the distance that his left leg would start to hurt so he’d worn his brace, but since he had arrived it hadn’t even been sore once. He thought it must be because of the fresh country air.

Whenever they passed a person Soonyoung’s face would light up and he would quickly engage in conversation, memory excellent as he recalled facts and information that Jihoon only knew about his closest friends. He introduced each of them by name and they fawned over him, speaking highly of what a great son he was and how the town was lucky to have him.

“You’re quite popular around here,” Jihoon commented as they waved goodbye to a young couple and their daughter that had just proposed that she would marry Soonyoung when she got older.

“I don’t know if I would say popular…” Soonyoung mused, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “But I do admit, it is hard being me.”

Jihoon scoffed. “That little girl just proposed to you. You should have accepted, she’s quite the catch.”

The two fondly watched the small child skip up the hill in her lilac dress, hurrying to catch up to her parents.

“She is… But I’m saving myself for the right person,” Soonyoung said dramatically.

They bantered the rest of the way, making a full circle of the main town before midday while they talked. “So, what did you think?” Soonyoung asked, hands clasped behind his neck and looking expectant.

“I loved it,” Jihoon said honestly, already flipping through photos in his camera. He remembered all the places he had visited and they all left unique feelings and memories in his mind. The city streets of Hong Kong were bright neon lights and towering buildings, the beaches of Hawaii were sand between his toes and salt water in his hair. To him, the small rural town of Itomori was warm skies, flower scented air and a light laugh at the tip of his tongue.

“I’m glad,” Soonyoung said genuinely. They shared a smile, one that had Jihoon’s tongue in a twist, but thankfully Soonyoung spoke before he had to. “So, what does this mean?” He asked. Suddenly there was something Jihoon hadn’t seen before on his face, a spot of hesitance, or was that disappointment? “Does this mean you’re going back to the city tomorrow?”

Jihoon opened his mouth to respond but closed it. He had to truly think. He didn’t have to be back to Seoul until Mingyu’s party in a couple of days but at the same time there wasn’t any reason to stay. He’d gotten enough pictures to capture the town, and even if he didn’t want to go back so soon, there were numerous other rural towns he could explore that were nearby.

But… There was one thing that was holding him back, keeping him attached to that small town of Itomori.

“Soonyoung, do you have any favorite places you could show me?”

The smile he got in return was blinding.


 

 

TWO.

 

Soonyoung met Jihoon outside of the inn the next morning with promises of handmade sandwiches and prime photography locations, which was really all a man could ask for. His guidance took them to the town outskirts, switching from stone roads to barely trodden overgrown dirt roads.

It was a path Soonyoung obviously took often, for even though the ground was uneven, slanted now that they had begun to climb up the mountainside, his steps were steady and sure. Jihoon meanwhile struggled with his city legs, clutching onto his bags to prevent his camera from making a nose dive down the hill. Soonyoung took pity on him and went at a slow pace, though not without the snarky side comments.

Jihoon felt it before he saw it. He could feel the earth flatten beneath his feet, the air change from pressing him against the tilted ground to pushing past him into open space.

Soonyoung’s favorite place was a small stretch of field just before thick foliage that overlooked neighboring farm lands and the town. The grass was long and overgrown, but there was patches of wildflowers scattered around that looked like paint splatters on a canvas.

However the best part was the view. The angle gave them the perfect glimpse at the town below and the lake that stretched out across for miles. The sun was just beginning to land straight overhead, casting warm rays onto the water and making it shine like diamonds, and the pale pastels of the homes popped out in color. The town looked even smaller from above, the people merely tiny moving dots and the scene took Jihoon’s breath away.

“Not bad, right?”

Soonyoung already seemed pleased at Jihoon’s reaction, cheeks puffed out in pride and smug grin stretched out across his face.

Just to annoy him, Jihoon straightened out his features. “It’s okay,” he deadpanned.

Soonyoung gawked just as Jihoon turned away to begin setting up his camera supplies, trying to hide the smile that broke out on his face. He chuckled quietly to himself as Soonyoung sulked, pulling out his sketchbook and moving to a corner to draw while he complained quietly about a certain ‘ungrateful photographer’.

The photos came out just as perfect as Jihoon could ask for, the clouds in the sky adding the ideal backdrop to the rest of the scenery.

Humming in happiness, Jihoon began putting away his equipment, taking the time to check in with how Soonyoung was doing. When he was in the artistic state he tended to completely block out everything around him, which often left him ignoring company for hours on end.

Thankfully Soonyoung seemed comfortable in his own world. He was spread out on a blanket near the cliff edge, legs crossed and sketchbook balanced atop his knee. He was deep in focus, eyebrows furrowed and as he added small details to the piece he was working on. He didn’t even seem to notice Jihoon had finished, too absorbed in his own work.

Jihoon let him, taking his time to put everything away before he grabbed the bag Soonyoung had thrown aside and took a seat beside him.

The young man looked up, eyes wide like he had forgotten he was there. Jihoon just smiled, handing the bag over and patting his stomach. “Where’s the promised sandwiches?”

The food was basic, Soonyoung was no cook, but having a lunch atop a mountain overlooking a perfect nature view was enough to make up for it.

It wasn’t something he was used to either. Jihoon’s life was a constant rush. He either spent weeks inside his studio editing and printing photos or he was out in the world traveling for photography and visiting shows and exhibits. He rarely spent time in nature other than when he was working, and it reminded him of his childhood in Busan, laying out on the warm sand underneath cool skies and salt water breezes.

Maybe it was something that he was missing.

“So, what are you drawing?” Jihoon asked, trying to take a peek at the sketchbook which Soonyoung had thrown aside.

The other boy hesitated before carefully picking it up. “Take a look,” he said, smile bright. But this time there was something different to his grin. It was kind and expectant, but there was a nervousness to it, almost as if awaiting the disappointment that was to come.

Jihoon flipped open the book, attempting to keep his face blank. But as he flipped through the pages he couldn’t control his facial expressions. His mouth dropped as his eyes laid across each page.

Soonyoung drew everything, from the red robin in his garden to the flowing river outside the town. His lines were soft but well detailed, and each piece seemed to be capturing a moment in time. But what stood out among his artwork was the portraits. He had hundreds of them, ranging from quick five minute sketches to full detailed pieces of art. The portraits each caught the person in mid emotion, capturing a moment in time from a longing glance, to a cheeky grin, to a disapproving frown or a frustrated scowl. They were members of the town and it seemed like he had drawn every single one.

“These are… Amazing.” Jihoon gasped, barely able to grasp what else to say. Jihoon had seen a lot of artwork, famously known and priced in the millions, but Soonyoung’s seemed unique. Each piece was like he had plucked each person from their lives and placed them momentarily on the page.

When he looked up, Soonyoung was smiling ear to ear, his grin the widest he had seen. He was scratching behind his head, moving his hands around as if he didn’t know what to do with them. A tinge of pink colored his cheeks and his eyes were doing the squinty thing where they disappeared in his smile. “I’m not that good.” He said honestly, reaching to take back the book.

“Not that good? Soonyoung you’re fantastic,” Jihoon responded, letting him take the sketchbook back and carefully close it. “That’s some of the best portrait art I’ve seen in a long time, and trust me, I’ve seen a lot. Your ability to capture emotions and make the onlooker feel like they’re truly meeting that person is almost magical.”

Soonyoung stared, opened mouthed. Jihoon paused and cleared his throat, trying to reel himself back in. He could feel himself getting red as he knew he tended to go overboard when it came to art and the creative process. “Sorry, was that too overboard?”

But Soonyoung’s smile softened into a fond look that Jihoon couldn’t read it. “No, not at all. It’s just… No one’s ever told me that before.”

“What?” Jihoon gaped. “Then they must be blind.”

Soonyoung just laughed, turning away to take a long glance at the town. “No. People have told me they liked my art. That it’s good. Pretty, well drawn. But its just a hobby to them. No one has ever looked at it like… Like it meant something to them.”

Jihoon felt a stab somewhere in his chest, a feeling that ached like a scar long ago created. He hesitated, moving before his mind could process, and laid his hand gently on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “The things that you love are important and they will always mean something.”

There was a bitterness that came from Soonyoung that Jihoon hadn’t realized he had. Something that he kept under lock and key, that itched under his skin and woke him up at night. It was something that Jihoon didn’t want to see and that only mae him ache further. “According to my father, drawing isn’t a career. I want to go to the city, see the world and the people and draw them. Capture one insignificant moment in their life and make it significant enough to remember.”

“Then do that.” Jihoon encouraged. Soonyoung stared at him, almost blankly as if he didn’t understand. Or maybe he hadn’t been allowed to. “The only one that can truly hold you back is yourself. The world awaits you.”

Then he smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “Look at me. I take photos for a living. And I do pretty well.”

Soonyoung just laughed, the feeling of bitterness disappearing in the ring of his voice. “So you say. I still don’t believe you’re ‘world famous’.”

Jihoon just chuckled. “Google me!”

With the atmosphere lightened, Jihoon wasn’t sure if he should continue asking about his art, even if he was curious. Before he could make up his mind there was a sudden exclamation behind them made Jihoon jump, surprised that it wasn’t just atop the mountain.

Two people had come out of the woods from a different path, looking like they had been playing around in the forest and hiking. They seemed young, laughing together and teasing one another.

“Kwon Soonyoung!” They yelled. There were two of them. One was tall and thin with a sharp nose and a bright eye smile, brown curly hair atop tanned skin, and the other was smaller with a young round face and large grin, bright blonde hair styled neatly atop his forehead.

“Oh?” One of the boys said, finally realizing that he wasn’t alone. “You told someone about our secret hideaway? Not cool man, you’re out of the club!”

Jihoon couldn’t resist. “You’re part of a club?”

Soonyoung hushed him but the blonde boy spoke up first. “Yeah, and it’s the best club ever. Boo!”

“Seok,” the second male said.

“Soon!” Soonyoung said as if without control of his body. The three burst into cackles and Jihoon couldn’t control the smile on his face.

“These are my two childhood friends, Boo Seungkwan and Lee Seokmin,” Soonyoung introduced, grinning. “Though more like idiots.”

“We’re a team,” Seungkwan praised. “Top three if you will.”

“I’m first,” Seokmin said.

“There’s a reason Boo comes first, excuse you.”

“I’m Lee Jihoon,” he introduced, interrupting because he wasn’t sure he would be able to get a word in between their banter. He liked the friendly aura they gave off and it made him feel comfortable in their presence. “I’m a photographer, just visiting for a couple of days.”

“Wow, Soonyoung must like you a lot to have shown you this spot,” Seokmin said with a grin, tone simple and non-implying but it made Jihoon raise his eyebrows.

Soonyoung coughed in embarrassment. “Anyway. Shouldn’t you two be studying for college exams?” Soonyoung frowned, trying to appear stern and probably to change the subject.

“Why study when its such a nice day like this?” Seungkwan groaned, hanging off the other boy in despair. “Anyway, who says if we pass we’ll ever get to leave this place?”

“Nothings going to happen if you don’t try!”

“I hear you haven’t been studying,” Seungkwan said conspiratorially. “You’ve been at the mayors office. What’s going on with that? Not giving up hope on moving to the city are you?”

“No, I’m not,” Soonyoung said though there was a hesitancy to his tone.

“Good because we all have to go together!”

Seokmin seemed concerned. “Your father hasn’t been pressuring you, has he?”

But Soonyoung just smiled. “No need to worry, I’m handling him. I’ll be getting into college before you know it.”

“If you can even pass the test,” Seungkwan chortled.

The three laughed between them and even Jihoon couldn’t keep the grin off his face. Seokmin glanced at his watch. “Shouldn’t you be getting to the mayors office then? It’s almost three.”

Soonyoung jumped to his feet, eyes wide when he checked the time. “Oh shit, I’m gonna be late! My dad’s gonna murder me and hide my body. I’m in so much trouble!” He turned to Jihoon, rubbings his hands together apologetically. “I’m gonna have to cut today short.”

Jihoon waved off his apology. Soonyoung turned towards his friends pleadingly. “Would you guys bring him back down? I’ve gotta take the short cut and run.”

The two nodded just as Soonyoung took off, hazardously sprinting off in another direction with his things carried hazardously in his bag. Jihoon had a feeling they would be more likely to find Soonyoung’s body in a ditch from tripping rather than from his father committing murder.

The walk down the hill was uneventful. They asked him a couple of questions about his work and Jihoon learned that the group had been friends since they were young and had graduated high school together. They were all attempting to apply for college in Seoul after taking a few years off.

“Our parents are trying to convince us not to go, but it’s so boring here!” Seungkwan complained, kicking up rocks and dirt. Jihoon noticed he tended to use his whole body while speaking, where as Seokmin was more animated in his voice. “This place is nothing compared to the big city. We have one supermarket and one convenience store, we don’t even have a café!”

“Or a hospital,” Seokmin added.

“Or a mall. How am I supposed to dress nice when I basically have to sew all my clothes.”

Jihoon snickered, amused by their conversation. They were quite lively and Jihoon could just tell what kind of trouble and mischief the group had gotten up to while they were in school. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, taking a long look at the winding path with the fantastic views around them and the proximity to nature. “I don’t know, I’ve lived in cities my whole life but there’s nothing like grass, a couple of trees and true fresh air.”

“Stay here for a week and then talk to me,” Seungkwan grumbled. “It’s the same thing ever day. The same people, the same activities. Over, and over and over again.”

Jihoon tipped his head, taking a long glance at the two. “Don’t you think you would miss it?”

Seungkwan scowled. “Of course not! I’d leave right now if I could.”

Jihoon just smiled, turning to look back at his surroundings like he was trying to imprint them in his mind. “Strangely enough, I think I would.”


“It was nice meeting you Jihoon!” Seokmin said, smiling that wide smile of his. It reminded him of Soonyoung’s.

“How long do you think you’ll be staying?” Seungkwan asked, slipping his arm through Seokmin’s.

“I’ll actually be leaving in a couple of days,” Jihoon responded.

“See, bored of this place and getting back to the city already,” Seungkwan droned while Jihoon just laughed.

“If you’re not doing anything tonight, you should come to the ceremony,” Seokmin suggested.

“Oh yeah, definitely!” Seungkwan said enthusiastically.

“Ceremony?” Jihoon questioned. Soonyoung hadn’t mentioned anything.

“It’s a prelude to the festival this weekend,” Seokmin explained. “There’s food and a dance performance.”

“You have to come,” Seungkwan said, grabbing his arm. “We’ll pick you up tonight!”

Jihoon hesitated. “Soonyoung’s going to be there, so you have to come.” Seungkwan added before he could refuse. But he shrugged, smiling anyway as he watched the two walk away. There was nothing better to do, plus he had a feeling he would come to enjoy it.


The two friends showed up later that night, wrapped up in light jackets. “Here,” Seungkwan said, handing him a paper lantern with a candle inside. “The ceremony is a religious one and we use light to scare off any bad spirits.”

They stopped at a couple of food stalls selling deliciously smelling food before heading to the outskirts of the town. The shrine was located at the top of a long winding path of stairs, tall trees surrounding the walkway and covering most of the light from the moon. Paper lanterns lit the path, leaving an eerie and gloomy feel that made Jihoon feel like he had entered the spirit realm.

The stage where the performance was to be held was built into the land, made out of wooden planks and carved pillars. It was elevated a couple feet off the ground, with a wooden roof that had paper talismans hanging from it and strong fires burning at the corners. Incense had been lit and smoke flowed through the still air. Numerous older villagers had already gathered, chatting quietly among themselves while they waited for the performance. Only a few younger people were attending.

“The dancers perform to celebrate and praise the gods and ask for their goodwill and blessing,” Seokmin explained.

“Shh, it’s starting,” Seungkwan hissed, shushing them.

A soft drum began to play in the background, a steady thrum like a heart beat. A young woman began to play the gayageum, carefully plucking the strings to create the melody. Jihoon watched in dumb fascination as two figures came onto the stairs, wearing hanboks of white silk with their sleeves covering their faces.

The dim light made it harder to see, but once the two lowered their hands Jihoon couldn’t mistake the face. “Is that Soonyoung?” He hissed, unable to stop himself.

Seungkwan hummed, like he wasn’t surprised since he probably wasn’t, but obviously no one thought it was important to take the time to tell him.

The two figures began to move but Jihoon was completely entranced with Soonyoung. His white robes were contrasted with red ribbons that were tied around his limbs, which as he moved swirled around him in the air. His black hair was messy and wild and he was wearing dark makeup that made his features even more sharp.

The pairs movements were precise and accurate, hitting each note, yet they seemed to flow like they were moving along to ocean waves. Their feet made little to no sound, the only noise coming from the bells that hung from their sleeves and clinked at every movement. The song was haunting, building before slowing down, and even if Jihoon didn’t know anything about the performance he could tell they were trying to tell a story.

The dance came to an end too quickly. The sudden break in music pulled Jihoon out of his trance so quickly it was jarring. He felt like he was being pulled awake from a dream. There was soft applause and belatedly Jihoon joined in, still reeling.

“Magical, wasn’t it?” Seokmin asked, smiling brightly as the music performers began to extinguish the flames, bathing them in soft light.

Even Seungkwan seemed calmed by the performance. “They’re such good dancers, I’m so jealous.”

“Wow,” was all Jihoon could say.

The performers began to descend from the stage and Jihoon turned just as Soonyoung began walking toward them. There was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead from the midsummer heat but otherwise didn’t seem to bother him. The large proud grin was plastered on his face, seeming pleased with himself.

Jihoon couldn’t help but think he looked like some immortal being that had arrived on earth. The soft lights of the lanterns seemed to make him glow and it felt like he was being pulled in, unable to escape his presence.

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung’s face lit up when he noticed him, coming to stand near them. Jihoon felt his heart jump in his chest. “I didn’t know you were coming!”

Jihoon was dumbstruck, barely able to come up with a comprehensive response.

“We dragged him here, though it would be a good photo op!” Seokmin grinned.

“Though I didn’t see him take any pictures?” Seungkwan questioned.

Jihoon just mumbled something. Honestly, photography had been the last thing on his mind. “Oh. Yeah. I don’t take portraits,” he said dumbly.

The three turned to him strangely but Jihoon was quite surprised he had gotten out a coherent sentence that he was sure trying to make another wouldn’t be possible.

“Oh, Lee Chan!” Seungkwan called, looking past Soonyoung. “My son did a good job,” he teased.

It was the second dancer, whom Jihoon had barely noticed because he had been so distracted. He was younger than the group of them, with a youthful face but sharp angles and curly dark brown hair. He was scowling in their direction, but rather than directed towards Seungkwan or the others he seemed to be looking straight at Jihoon.

“Who’s he,” he asked.

“Channie, this is Jihoon, he’s visiting from the city to take some photos.” Soonyoung introduced, reaching over to wrap his arm around the younger boy. “Jihoon, this is my younger brother Chan.”

Chan scoffed, shrugging off Soonyoung’s arm and ignoring the hurt look that he got in return. He took one final glance at Jihoon and seemed to dislike what he saw. “Maybe he should go back there,” was all he said before he turned around and began walking back towards the town.

Soonyoung gaped after him, spluttering. “Lee Chan! That is not how you treat guests.”

Jihoon merely caught his arm, pulling him back before he could race after his brother. “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

Soonyoung didn’t seem convinced. “That is not how we treat people,” he frowned, but Jihoon just smiled and pat his arm comfortingly.

“You were really good,” Jihoon said, changing the subject, voice quiet. “The dance was beautiful.”

Soonyoung’s face lit up once again and Jihoon couldn’t help the small tug of happiness at the thought that he was the cause of it. “Thanks! We worked for months to practice.” He paused and glanced back towards where his brother had gone before turning back to Jihoon. His gaze was apologetic. “I should get going,” he said.

Jihoon just nodded. He loosened his grip and let his hand fall. “Okay,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face. He let Soonyoung go, watching as he jogged down the path.

Jihoon could feel the warmth in his hands, hear the beating of his heart in his ears. But there was a coldness in his skin that made him shiver. He couldn’t help but feel like he had just been left behind.


 


ONE.

 

Jihoon awoke to his head pounding. He felt like he had been hit over the head with a brick.

He rolled over in his bed, getting tangled up in the sheets, and took a glance at his phone. He wasn’t surprised when the screen lit up and it read barely 5am. He had been trying to sleep the whole night, tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable. But no matter what he did he couldn’t seem to sleep. It felt like there were thousands of thoughts racing through his mind all fighting to keep his attention.

He groaned, sitting up in bed and throwing off his comforters. At that point he might as well started the day and get some work done. He scooped up his camera bag, throwing on light clothing in preparation for some early morning shots and headed outside.

The brisk air was crisp and sharp, cutting through his light jacket and giving him a soft chill. But Jihoon welcomed it, feeling cooled off after a restless night.

He decided to head back to the spot that Soonyoung had showed him, taking his time to look over the sleepy town. The path seemed much longer when he didn’t have anyone to talk to.

Now that he wasn’t tossing and turning and counting sheep to fall asleep, Jihoon allowed himself to think about some of the thoughts that had been keeping him awake.

Most importantly, the one that kept asking him, did he like Soonyoung?

...Which was absolutely ridiculous because he had only known the boy for three days. There was certainly no way he could have developed feelings so fast. Especially not someone as cold hearted and distant as Lee Jihoon.

But he couldn’t help but think of the way his heart suddenly began beating faster every time he got close, or when his hands got sweaty and he was unable to move his eyes away. Or the way that a smile would slip onto his face and he would feel content just in his presence…

Either Jihoon was going crazy or he was-

No, he must be going insane.

Jihoon sighed, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Rather than think about his feelings the important thing was what he was going to do about them.

Telling Soonyoung was absolutely out of the question. Jihoon was leaving the next day and would be going halfway across the country. There was no reason they would probably ever see each other again, much less become friends or anything more.

No, there was no point in getting attached. Not to the town and most definitely not to Kwon-

“Soonyoung?’ Jihoon blinked in confusion, finally coming to recognize the figure that was sitting atop the cliff.

It seemed he hadn’t been the only one unable to sleep. The black haired boy looked up from where he had been sketching. He looked worse than the previous night, dark circles forming underneath his eyes and a tired exhaustion that weighed down his shoulders. He wore dark hues of gray and blue that only seemed to make him look more offset.

“Good morning,” Soonyoung said, forcing a smile to his face though Jihoon noticed it wasn’t easy. Gone was the easy glint in his eyes and the softness of his smile. He could sense frustration behind his gaze, one that was far away and angry at someone, or maybe it was himself.

“Up a bit early, don’t you think?” Jihoon questioned. He wasn’t even sure if Soonyoung had slept at all.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Soonyoung shrugged. He dropped his pencil, moving his hand to stroke the binding of the notebook in thought. He seemed far away, like his physical body was there in front of him but his mind was in a whole different world. “You?”

“Me neither,” Jihoon mumbled, though he didn’t explain why. He carefully took a spot next to him, giving him enough space for comfort. He had come to take pictures, but he didn’t take his camera out, instead letting silence fall over them as they looked down at the sleeping village.

“Who’s that?” Jihoon finally asked, motioning toward the picture he had been working on. It was a woman in her middle ages, with soft lines and a charming grin. He noticed that instead of Soonyoung’s usual detailed work, the picture seemed blurry, like he was unsure of the unique features and couldn’t remember details anymore.

Soonyoung continued to run his fingers along the spine of his book, staring blankly into space. “My mother.”

Jihoon hummed, moving closer to take a better look. He could see the resemblance between them, their young round faces and kind eyes. “She’s beautiful,” he said.

“She’s dead.”

His words were so blunt they shocked Jihoon into silence. They weren’t said angrily or cruel, but rather lacking emotion. He acted like he had long ago put the memory behind him and now it was merely just any other fact that he knew off the top of his head.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

Soonyoung merely shrugged again, almost carelessly. “It happened awhile ago. I’m over it.”

But Jihoon paused because in his opinion it seemed like the farthest thing from the truth. Those who had accepted loss had come to terms with their grief. They were still saddened by their death but were content that they were in a better place. But Soonyoung reacted with distance, removing any and all humanity from the situation until people and emotions weren’t involved. It was how someone who was still suffering acted.

“Have you gone to see her recently?” Jihoon asked. He had lost his grandparents a long time ago and it always made him feel better when he went to visit them. It reminded him of the good times they had shared and helped put his mind to peace.

This time Soonyoung’s voice was cruel, which Jihoon could never get used to. Maybe he was hiding much more animosity and anger behind his soft smiles than Jihoon had thought. “It was her birthday today and we were supposed to go as a family but my father was too busy.” He rolled his eyes, switching positions and angrily clutching the blanket in his fists. “It’s not like she was his wife for twenty two years or anything. He couldn’t even do it for his family.”

Jihoon could only stare, at a loss for words. He could sense the resentment that had taken root in Soonyoung, but he didn’t want to see it grow. He hesitated, unsure of how to act, before he reached out and grasped his hand.

“Soonyoung, let’s go visit your mother.” Jihoon said quietly.

He saw him hesitate for a moment, eyes slowly going down to their clasped hands, before he finally nodded. “Okay,” he murmured and this time it was Jihoon that smiled.


Itomori’s burial site was located outside of the town, just a short walk through farming lands. The sun was up and shining now, warming their skin and bringing a bit of color back to Soonyoung’s face. He was quiet most of the walk and Jihoon let him be get lost in his thoughts.

It was quite pretty for the graveyards Jihoon was used to. It was in an enclosed field with lines of trees and stone pathways. Flowering bushes separated graves and it was obvious that it was visited quite a lot for there were new bouquets at numerous spots.

“This is her,” Soonyoung said, stopping in front of a stone grave with ceremonial flowers and ribbons across it. Engraved was the name Lee Minyoung, and the dates of her birth and death. “Say hi mom, this is Jihoon.”

Jihoon leaned down to carefully place the flowers they had picked on their way. “Nice to meet you ma’am. You raised a good son,” he said and Soonyoung chuckled.

Soonyoung went quiet, just staring at the grave with the same faraway look in his eyes. Jihoon didn’t interrupt, sometimes there were some words that couldn’t be said aloud but could be heard by those who were always listening.

Jihoon was just about to stand when he saw that a flower had just been newly planted behind the grave. It was a pretty set of carnations that were just beginning to bloom. He stood and brushed his hands off on his knees before pointing out the flowers to Soonyoung. “Not everyone shows their love in the same way,” he said softly.

Soonyoung looked at the flowers, staring at their freshly cut leaves and newly blooming petals, before a tiny smile flit across his face. He glanced at the grave once more. “Next time I’ll come with everyone,” he promised her. Jihoon smiled and pat him comfortingly on the back, acting as a soothing presence. Suddenly, he said, “She would have liked you.”

Jihoon felt his face flush but luckily Soonyoung didn’t seem to be looking at him. His heart was doing those fluttery things again that he didn’t like.

“I better go say hi to my grandparents while I’m here,” Soonyoung excused himself, still seeming deep in thought. Jihoon watched him go, deciding to give him some space.

It wasn’t long before there was noise behind him but when Jihoon turned it wasn’t who he had been expecting.

“What are you doing here?” It was Soonyoung’s little brother Chan. He was still dressed in his school uniform, shirt untucked and jacket wrapped around his waist. He had a scowl on his face, the look of distrust still glinting in his gaze. He was carrying a bouquet of flowers and he gripped them tighter when he saw him.

“Oh, hello,” Jihoon said, feeling only mildly unsettled at the tone of hostility. He didn’t seem threatening but there was clear dislike in his tone. “You may not remember me. I’m Jihoon-”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted bluntly. “I was asking you why you were here.” He walked forward and pushed past Jihoon to lay his flowers down onto the grave. Jihoon stepped backward to give him space and once he was done he continued to glare at Jihoon like he was hoping he would evaporate at the spot.

“I was visiting with Soonyoung,” Jihoon explained. He couldn’t quite understand where the hostility was coming from as it seemed different than just the regular dislike of outsiders.

“Stop hanging out with my brother,” Chan said angrily, clenching his fists at his side.

Jihoon tipped his head to the side, still not understanding. “And why should I?”

“All he talks about is the city,” Chan snapped, grinding his teeth. “Seoul this, Seoul that. He wants to get away so he’s applying for school next year. If he wanted to leave so bad he should just leave now.”

He didn’t elaborate but Jihoon could tell he wasn’t telling the truth. He could hear it in his voice, bitterness and resentment, but also pain and uncertainty. It wasn’t that Chan wanted Soonyoung to leave, in fact it was the opposite. He just didn’t want Soonyoung to leave him behind.

Jihoon felt his heart ache, as if he could feel the sadness that Chan was feeling. The child had lost his mother, was distanced from his father and may now now lose a brother. It was no wonder he disliked Jihoon; he was the embodiment of the city that was threatening to take Soonyoung away.

“Your brother loves you,” Jihoon finally said. He watched Chan stare at him in a mixture of mistrust and disbelief. “Soonyoung loves you so much and he would never leave you behind.”

Chan scowled, pointing an accusing finger. “What do you know?” He snapped, but there was suddenly hesitance in his voice, like even he was questioning himself.

“I haven’t know him long,” Jihoon admitted, “But the Soonyoung I know is kind and loyal, and he loves this town and its occupants, but he loves his family over everything else. No matter how far away he goes he’ll always love you the most and would never forget about you.”

Before Chan could respond there was the sound of footsteps near them and Chan distanced himself, turning his scowl to the ground. The anger had begun to drain away, instead replaced by a youthful indignity.

“Oh, if it isn’t my lovely brother!” Soonyoung yelled in surprise, skipping to the group to clasp his brother around the neck. Chan merely grumbled a response, ducking under his arm and beginning to walk back towards the city.

“Channie, come back! Let’s go together!” Soonyoung began to walk after him and Jihoon fell into step, unable to hide his amusement. He gave Jihoon a questioning. Look to which Jihoon just shrugged.

Before they left, Jihoon couldn’t help but smile once more at the grave site. “You raised two good kids,” he laughed.


On their way back to town Chan walked a stubborn few feet in front of them, hands stuffed into his pockets and determined to ignore them. Soonyoung had slowed his pace to match Jihoon’s, staring curiously at his brothers back.

“Sorry about him, he’s going through puberty,” Soonyoung teased to which he got an angry scowl in return. He leaned towards Jihoon and whispered quietly to him. “Did he say anything to you?’

Jihoon cast a look at Chan’s figure before he shrugged. “He said that he loved you a lot,” he said loudly.

“What?” Chan spun around, pointing an accusing finger at them. “I did not!”

“Aww,” Soonyoung cooed, reaching for his brother who repeatedly shoved him away. “My lovely brother loves me a lot! What a good boy that I’ve raised, come and give your brother a kiss.”

“Ew, get away from me!” Chan yelled and Jihoon laughed as Soonyoung chased after him.

By the time they had arrived back in town Chan’s hair was a mess from being repeatedly ruffled and Soonyoung had a sore arm from where he had been punched numerous times. Even though he must be in pain Soonyoung couldn’t keep the grin off his face, and even Chan had a tiny smile grudgingly appearing.

“Go away, I have homework,” Chan growled, finally shoving Soonyoung off him.

“What a good hardworking brother,” Soonyoung cooed as Chan rolled his eyes and walked off. He chuckled, looking fondly after him. “What a kid,” he grumbled.

“He’s a keeper,” Jihoon laughed.

The two spent the rest of the day roaming the town, taking pictures of anything Jihoon hadn’t done yet. Soonyoung took the time to show him all the places he had grown up with as a kid. The school he used to attend, the town centers auditorium where he’d learned dance, his favorite playground and specifically his favorite swing, the tree he’d fallen from and broken his leg. It felt like a walk through his childhood and made Jihoon smile at the mere thought of a young rambunctious Soonyoung running around and causing trouble.

“Next time, you’ll have to show me the places you grew up in,” Soonyoung said.

“We’d have to go all over the country for that. I was a military brat so I moved practically every couple of years.”

Soonyoung stared. “That must have been hard,” he said.

Jihoon merely shrugged. He had to admit, it had been difficult making new friends every time he went to a new place, but it had been an exciting childhood and he had never once disliked it. “I settled down in Seoul for college after my parents divorced and after that I started traveling for photography.”

“Where do you call home then?” Soonyoung asked.

Jihoon paused. It wasn’t a question he commonly thought about, and was one he maybe wasn’t quite sure of. “I don’t know… Maybe Seoul, I guess? Since I was there the longest.”

“Usually they say home belongs where the heart is,” Soonyoung smiled.

“They’re probably right.”

Silence fell between them. Jihoon could feel the unvoiced question in the air that hung between them but it seemed like neither of them wanted to mention it because mentioning his end of the trip would make it true.

“So, Jihoon. The festival tomorrow…” Soonyoung began, reaching up to scratch his neck in embarrassment.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Jihoon blurted out.

Soonyoung started in surprise, staring at him before slowly lowering his arm. He glanced around him, stills smiling but Jihoon could see the disappointment and acceptance in his face as he reigned in what he had been about to say. “Right.”

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon said. For more than one thing.

But Soonyoung merely smiled, always trying to look positive even though there was a sadness to his eyes that squeezed Jihoon’s heart and made him want to take his words back.

“There’s always next time, right?”

Jihoon could only smile and wonder.



Jihoon laid back in his hotel room, flipping through his pictures from the day. After a long day with Soonyoung he had retired early so that he was able to pack for the next day. He was supposed to be editing, but he was barely even paying attention to the pictures as they flew by his gaze.

He was caught up in his thoughts, thinking back to Soonyoung and Chan’s relationship. They truly loved each other, and Soonyoung was quite obvious in expressing his feelings.

But Chan’s struggle with accepting his words made Jihoon think about his own relationships. He loved his parents and he cared deeply about his friends, but he knew how often they worried about him. He never meant to, but he knew he could often get caught up in his own life and forget about others. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had thanked them, or said he loved them. He wondered if they knew that he did.Maybe that had to change.

“Mom?” He asked when his mother picked up the phone.

“Oh, my Jihoonie!” Her voice was as bright as positive as ever. She’d recently moved into the new apartment he’d bought her and she was continuously sending him photos of how she was decorating, even if he didn’t respond. The pictures still made him smile though, and he tried to reply with emojis every once and awhile. “I heard from Mingyu that you ran off again.”

Jihoon chuckled, unsurprised. Mingyu had a habit of tattling on him to his mother like the nagging parent he was. “I did no such thing!”

“My second son doesn’t lie,” she said. “Where are you now dear?”

“I’m in this rural town, just taking some photos for a couple of days before I come back. I’ll be home tomorrow for Mingyu’s birthday.”

“Oh, you remembered?” She seemed surprised, which Jihoon took mild offense to. He wasn’t always that bad! “He’ll be glad to hear it. He was worried you wouldn’t show up.”

Jihoon sighed dramatically, knowing he would need to beat a little sense into the younger. “I already spoke to him and told him I’d show so you don’t have to worry.”

He listened as she updated him on the house, telling him that she had met some people in the neighborhood and gotten a promotion at her job. Jihoon had seen her a couple of weeks ago but it seemed like a lifetime since they’d last spoken. He wondered why he didn’t call her more often.

“Mom?” Jihoon found himself saying, lying back on his bed and staring at the blank empty ceiling above him. “You know I love you, right?”

The line went dead. Jihoon glanced at his phone to make sure she hadn’t hung up on him. “Of course dear,” she finally said.

Jihoon hummed, tapping a rhythm onto his side. “I just wanted to let you know.”

“… Is there some reason why you wanted to tell me that?” She asked, almost cautiously. He nearly laughed, he must really not show his affection as much as he had thought. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jihoon answered honestly, though maybe there were a couple things he was still working through. “I’ve been talking to a friend and he made me think about how lucky I was to have all the people I love in my life.”

He could practically hear her soft smile through the phone. “He sounds like a lovely person.”

“He is.”


Afterward Jihoon ended up calling his father, checking in with the man to find out that he was across the country in Japan on a business trip. He even sent a couple of texts to some friends he hadn’t spoken to in awhile, hoping to catch up.

Finally he called Mingyu, since he knew the conversation would be long and tiresome. Mingyu spent the better half of thirty minutes nagging him and threatening him to make sure he would be at his party tomorrow.

“Oh, by the way,” Mingyu said, taking a break in chastising him. When Jihoon saw him next he’d need to make sure Mingyu got a good beating to remember who was older. “How have you been feeling lately?”

“What do you mean?” Jihoon questioned.

“You know,” Mingyu mused. “You said earlier you felt like you were running. Like you were searching for someone.”

“Oh,” Jihoon had almost forgotten. He thought for a moment if his feelings had changed.

Truthfully ever since Jihoon had arrived in Itomori he hadn’t felt that way for even a moment. The aura of the town and its people had always made Jihoon feel nostalgic and comforted, like it was a familiar place he had once visited. It left a warm feeing in his heart and he knew once he left he was going to miss it terribly.

“I’m happy Mingyu,” Jihoon said.

There was a gasp at the other end before Mingyu hurriedly continued in a shocked tone. “What happened? What’s going on?” His words were quick, like he mouth wasn’t keeping up with his brain. “Did you meet someone? Why are you happy?”

Jihoon just merely chuckled because he couldn’t help but think he was truly lucky to have such a good friend as Kim Mingyu.

“You know I love you, right?” Jihoon mused.

If Mingyu’s brain hadn’t imploded yet it certainly did now. “Jesus christ, who are you and what have they done with my Jihoon?” Mingyu wailed on the other side which had Jihoon burst into laughter, clutching at his stomach. “You know, small towns are known for kidnapping people and then switching their bodies!”

“What movies are you watching,” Jihoon snickered, still trying to control his laughter. “You’re an idiot,” Jihoon said once he was able to catch his breath.

“Your idiot,” Mingyu replied lovingly and Jihoon broke into laughter again.

Once they were calm and both breathing at a normal rate, Mingyu hesitantly spoke up. “You know I love you too, right?”

Jihoon snickered. “As if your dumb ass could do anything but.”

“Okay listen now, just because I am a large loving human being that gives you no right to-”

“Goodbye Kim Mingyu,” Jihoon laughed, hanging up on him before he could get into full nag mode.

Jihoon relaxed back in his bed, still chuckling at his conversations. He felt lighter after reaching out to his friends and family, and couldn’t deny the warm fuzzy feeling he got from being loved. Truly he was lucky and he had to remember never to take it for granted.

He was just about to finish packing and go to sleep when there was a soft tapping at his window. Jihoon stared, wondering if he was imagining it or not when the tapping started again.

He walked to the window and carefully pulled back the shade.

He was stunned when he saw Soonyoung smiling brightly outside his window. His inn room was on the first floor but the whole back part was fenced in so there was no way Soonyoung should have been able to be there.

“Soonyoung?” Jihoon hissed, eyes wide in surprise.

Soonyoung shushed him, quickly glancing around. He motioned for him to open the window and Jihoon quickly unlocked it and shoved it open. “If the grandma knows I’m here she’ll kill me for climbing her apple tree.”

“What are you doing here?” He whispered, still in shock. He rubbed at his eyes to see if he was hallucinating or not but he unfortunately, or fortunately, was not.

“I wanted to see you before you go,” he said, still smiling that stupid grin of his. Jihoon scoffed, feeling his heart begin its weird rapid beating.

“You’re going to see me tomorrow morning,” Jihoon snapped, hoping the dim lighting would hide the color in his cheeks.

“I needed to tell you something,” Soonyoung said.

Jihoon brushed him off, motioning that he should leave. “You can tell me tomorrow! Now I need to go because I need to finish packing and its nearly midnight so you should really go home.” He attempted to shut the window but Soonyoung stuck out his arm.

“Lee Jihoon I like you!”

Jihoon’s heart stopped. Or at least he thought it did because all of a suddenly all he could hear was Kwon Soonyoung.

“What?” He asked, dumbstruck. Had he died and gone to heaven?

“I said I liked you,” Soonyoung said bluntly, looking relieved now that Jihoon wasn’t trying to shut the window on him. He leaned forward, resting his arm on the windowsill so that Jihoon wouldn’t get a chance to run away. “I wanted to tell you because I would regret it if I didn’t.”

“Well then, that’s good to know,” Jihoon said, because when his brain didn’t work his mouth said stupid things.

He saw Soonyoung’s face fall a little bit. Watched as he stood up straight and moved out of the window. Could see his resolve crumble and confidence waver. “Well then. Uh, that was what I wanted to say.” He coughed awkwardly, glancing around. “I’ll just leave you then.”

Before Jihoon could think he had leaned out the window and grabbed onto the sleeve of Soonyoung’s shirt. He gave a light tug and Soonyoung followed, coming back until they were face to face in the window.

“I-”He started, but clamped his mouth shut. Soonyoung waited patiently for him to continue, gaze never leaving his face. “I don’t know what I feel right now.”

“So tell me,” he said softly, reaching up to take Jihoon’s hand.

He could feel the callouses in his palm, the slight sheen of sweat and warmth emitting from his body. Jihoon could feel his own heart beating in his chest. There were a thousand thoughts running through his mind and none of which he was sure he wanted to say, but he knew he would need to or he would regret it forever.

“I feel surprised because you came here,” he started off, talking fast like he was plucking words from his brain and spewing anything that was half sensible. “Confused because of what you said. Anxious because of your feelings and sad because of what tomorrow brings.”

He then leaned forward, gaining momentum. “But I’m also touched because you’re in front of me right now, embarrassed because of your words, flattered by your bravery.” He smiled, gripping onto Soonyoung’s hand like a lifeline. “I leave Itomori tomorrow. And I don’t know when I’ll be back. We have hundreds of miles in between us and who knows what the future will bring. But right now, Kwon Soonyoung, I’m happy because I like you back.”

Soonyoung didn’t smile, but rather looked at him like there was something close to love in his gaze. He leaned forward. “Can I kiss you?”

Jihoon grabbed his arm and yanked him forward, pressing their lips together as a response. Soonyoung chuckled in surprise, reaching up to wrap his hand behind his neck.

He leaned back and cupped the side of Jihoon’s face, using his thumb to slowly caress his cheek. “You’re quite the wild storm, aren’t you Lee Jihoon?” Soonyoung murmured eyes lost in his gaze. “You wandered into my life and tore everything up. What am I supposed to do?”

Jihoon sighed, relaxing into his hand and closing his eyes. How was he going to leave tomorrow? “I don’t know Kwon Soonyoung… I don’t know.”


 


ZERO.

 

It was early morning when Jihoon got ready to leave, opting for an earlier bus because he knew he would have a long trip back and he would need to recuperate before Mingyu’s party that evening.

The rest of the town was already wide awake preparing for the town festival. Jihoon marveled at the props and decorations they had procured and already the delicious smell of freshly cooked food was giving him second thoughts of leaving.

At one point of his trip through the town square he spotted the mayor overseeing some work being done. As he got closer the mayor seemed to notice him, straightening his stance and casting him a stern but less hostile glance.

“Thank you for visiting Mr. Lee. I hope you were able to take some nice photos of our town.” He didn’t seem much interested in photography but Jihoon at least appreciated him for mentioning it.

“Thank you sir, for your kind hospitality,” Jihoon responded as polite as ever. “Itomori is beautiful and everyone was wonderful.”

The mayor nodded back respectfully, waving him off. “And I wish you safe travels.”

Jihoon gathered his things, about to take off when he paused. He turned back towards the mayor who cast him a questioning look. “You have a wonderful son, Mr. Kwon,” Jihoon said, gripping his things to give him strength in what he was about to say. He probably had a death wish but it had to be said. “Soonyoung has a brilliant mind and a soft heart. And he’s very talented in drawing. You should listen to him for once, and ask him what he truly wants.”

Kwon Sungjin just gaped at him, too stunned to speak.

The man opened his mouth, eyes narrowing like he was readying a retort, but before he could Soonyoung and his friends appeared at the square, laughing loudly over something they were discussing.

“Good morning Mr. Mayor!” Seungkwan called out. The mayor promptly closed his mouth, casting one long look at Jihoon before turning away from the group and going back to his work.

“As happy and energetic as always,” Seokmin commented.

“What’s got his panties in a twist,” Seungkwan mumbled and Soonyoung nudged him while Seokmin laughed.

“Good morning Jihoon,” Seokmin mused. He noticed that he had all of his bags. “Are you leaving today?”

Jihoon nodded, hefting his backpack higher up his shoulders. “Yup. Today’s the last day.”

“We hope you had a good time!” Seungkwan said brightly. “You have to make sure to come back and show us those pictures of yours!”

“Of course,” Jihoon laughed, patting his camera bag reliably.

“I’ll walk you out,” Soonyoung offered, moving to his side. Seokmin and Seungkwan exchanged a long glance before bursting into giggles. Soonyoung glared half heartedly at them and they scurried away, casting looks behind them and still laughing.

The walk to the bridge was quiet, though not uncomfortable. It allowed Jihoon to fully appreciate the town one last time, the sounds of trees moving in the wind, the taste of summer mornings, the smell of fresh country air and the feel of a warm hand in his.

The bridge stood where he had left it as steady as a rock. A wave of nostalgia passed over Jihoon as it usually did and he couldn’t help but feel a sorry longing for something that he had only known for a few days.

“So, last night…” Soonyoung said and Jihoon felt his face flush, cheeks turning bright red at the mere thought. He reached forward and smacked Soonyoung hard on the arm who erupted into a fit of giggles.

“I must have been crazy,” Jihoon mumbled.

“Crazy for me you mean,” Soonyoung winked which only elicited a further groan from Jihoon. “Okay, okay. I won’t mention it. But…” Soonyoung leaned closer and nudged him playfully. “I wouldn’t mind continuing where we left off…”

Jihoon smacked him harder this time, just to make a point. “Down boy. You’re just going to make to wait until the next time we meet,” he said with a small flicker of a smile on his own face.

Soonyoung brightened, pleased by the idea. “It better be soon,” he said, adding a bit of cuteness into his tone in hopes of further convincing Jihoon.

Jihoon merely rolled his eyes, though the beating of his heart didn’t slow down any. “Behave and we’ll see.”

Soonyoung chuckled, letting Jihoon’s hand go as he started to walk away from the bridge. But before he could get more than ten feet Soonyoung ran up to him and grabbed his hand one more time.

“So you’ll remember me,” Soonyoung said, placing one last chaste kiss on his lips.

Jihoon smiled around the kiss, letting his heart flutter one last time. “Like I could ever forget.”



“Jihoon? Lee Jihoon? Earth to Jihoon. You’re not listening at all!”

Jihoon snapped back into reality when he was unceremoniously shoved and nearly pushed off the stool. He glared at Mingyu once he had regained his balance. “What?” He snapped indignantly.

“I’ve been asking you what you want to drink for the last fifteen minutes,” Mingyu snapped back.

Jihoon stared, taking a long look at him before smiling apologetically. “Sorry,” he said, reigning in his temper. He wasn’t doing a great job of celebrating his best friends birthday, but he couldn’t help but feel restless for some reason.

Mingyu rolled his eyes before ordering something for the both of them. Two large drinks were placed in front of them and Jihoon reached out to take a large gulp, hoping the alcohol would sooth his impatience.

“It’s like you’re not even here, what’s going on?” Mingyu accused.

Jihoon reached out to rub his arm apologetically, who practically fell over in surprise at the physical affection. “I’m sorry Mingyu, I’m just distracted is all.”

“Clearly,” Mingyu deadpanned. “Thinking about him?”

Jihoon cocked a questioning eyebrow but Mingyu merely scoffed. “Don’t act all innocent. I could tell there’s someone. The source of your happiness if you want to name it something. So, spill!”

Jihoon just laughed, shaking his head. Mingyu’s eyes went wide, leaning forward and whispering conspicuously. “Is it that serious? Every time I mention him you start blushing like a school girl.” He leaned back and gasped, covering his mouth with his hands. “Did our Lee Jihoon really meet the one?”

Jihoon shoved him away, face flushing red because of embarrassment or alcohol he hoped one couldn’t tell. “Stop acting like I’ve never dated before.”

“Yeah, okay sure,” Mingyu said, brushing the idea aside. “You’ve gone on a couple dates but I mean, you’ve never been interested in anyone other than-”

Mingyu suddenly cut off, standing up and waving towards someone near the door. He side eyed Jihoon before yelling, “Seungcheol! Nice to see you, we’re over here!”

Jihoon had almost forgotten about the attendance of Choi Seungcheol. He could sense Mingyu staring intently at him to gauge his reaction, but truly there wasn’t much that he felt. Any romantic feelings he had ever had for Seungcheol had long disappeared since his trip to Itomori.

Seuncheol looked good, just as good as he had looked years ago. He was taller and broader now, dressed in his usual business casual that had all the girls go crazy and made the reporters follow him from dawn to dusk. He had at some point dyed his hair an obnoxious red but Jihoon couldn’t help but think it suited him.

“Mingyu, happy birthday my man!” Seungcheol leaned forward and clasped him on the back, handing him a bag with a couple bottles of expensive wine that had Mingyu squealing in excitement. He then turned to Jihoon, the usual fond grin on his face. “Hi Jihoon. Long time no see.”

“Seungcheol,” Jihoon said kindly. Seungcheol leaned forward to hug him and he quickly responded. There was the nice warm feeling, but it didn’t make his heart stutter in his chest, his palms sweat or his brain malfunction.

“How’s your leg?” Seungcheol asked once they had parted.

Jihoon looked at his left leg, reaching down to rub at the usual spot where it hurt. He hadn’t stopped hurting him since the accident three years ago but these days it wasn’t bothering him. “Great, actually.”

“That’s good to hear,” Seungcheol said, taking a seat at their table and ordering a drink.

“So, I hear you’re back in Seoul for a week. What are you doing in town?” Mingyu asked, sipping at his own drink and staring back and forth between the two like a gossiping housewife.

“I was a sponsor of a photography exhibit in town today, actually.”

“Ah, wait I’ve heard of this! It was for the Itomori incident, right? Wasn’t that tragic?” Mingyu mused.

Jihoon started at the sudden name, placing his hands down on the table. “Wait, what did you say?”

The two turned towards him in confusion. “Don’t you remember? The meteor that fell from the sky all those years ago? Today’s the third anniversary.”

“At Itomori? No, you must be mistaken.” Jihoon could barely remember the incident because it was fuzzy in his head. He wracked his brain, trying to remember. Something inside of him was trying to tell himself that this was very, very important.

“You probably don’t remember well because it happened around the time of your accident,” Seungcheol said.

“No, I mean. That’s impossible.” The more he thought about it the more he remembered seeing it on the news while he had been recovering in a hospital bed. A whole town had been destroyed in one night and five hundred people had gone missing or were presumed dead. It had been all over the news and the country had mourned for weeks. “It can’t be Itomori. I was just there visiting this week.”

“Wait, that’s where you went?” Mingyu questioned. He seemed incredibly confused and at the point of questioning Jihoon’s mental stability. “Jihoon, that’s not possible. That town was completely destroyed by the meteor. Itomori doesn’t exist anymore.”

But Jihoon shook his head, still not quite understanding. He hastily took his camera out of his bag and began skipping through the pictures. “You’re wrong. I took pictures, I was there for four days.” He went to show them the pictures but before he could suddenly they started flickering, deleting one by one. Jihoon watched as before his eyes the pictures disappeared before there was nothing left but an empty SD card.

Jihoon felt something inside of him snap. He could hear his blood pulsing in his ears like he was underwater. It didn’t make any sense, he had just been there mere hours ago. He remembered walking through the town, chatting to the residents, watching the ceremony. There was no way that it could have been destroyed three years ago.

“No, this is ridiculous. Itormori was where I met-”

He went blank. It was like a switch had turned off inside of him and he was suddenly in the dark, paralyzed. He tried to remember, tried to stop and force the name from his mouth, but suddenly he couldn’t think of what his name was. He could see the bright eyes and large grins, but even then they slowly became fuzzy in his mind, gradually disappearing like rain trickling through his fingers.

He shot up in his chair, shocking those around him. “I need to go. I need to go back,” Jihoon said, almost hysterical. He dug his nails into his palms, trying to use the pain to center himself and to remember.

“Jihoon,” Mingyu grabbed him, seeming seriously concerned. “You can’t go back. Itomori is off limits since the meteor fell, it’s not safe to go there.”

“No, Mingyu you don’t understand. I need to go back there, I need to remember,” he cried, nearly pulling himself out of his grip.

“Jihoon!” Mingyu tried to pull him down Jihoon was already too far gone.

Seungcheol stopped him, reaching out to grab Jihoon’s arm in his own. He exchanged glances with Mingyu before he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

“Come on Jihoon,” Seungcheol said quietly. “I’ll bring you.”



“I’ll have to drop you off here,” Seungcheol said, pulling at the edge of the path. The town was only a little bit further but Seungcheol’s nice car wasn’t able to make it due to the rough roads.

“This is fine, thank you,” Jihoon said gratefully. He had been shaking the entire trip, vibrating from worry and fear. It was nearing twilight and Jihoon wanted to reach the town before nightfall. He had to prove that everything was a misunderstanding.

“Let me come with you,” Seungcheol said, already halfway out of the car.

“No,” Jihoon intercepted. He squared his shoulders, gripping his camera like a lifeline. “I need to do this alone. Wait here until I call.”

Seungcheol didn’t look convinced but there was no room for argument in his tone. He watched as Jihoon quickly disappeared up the path and into the trees.

Jihoon had begun at a brisk walk, but the closer he got to the city the quicker his pace. He kept having to repeat his memories to himself, gripping onto each piece like his life depended on it. But the more he tried to think of his days at Itomori the more his thoughts began to slip from his mind and the more he forgot.

“Come on stupid brain, work!” Jihoon yelled at himself, pinching his skin to remember. But his frustrations only made it worse.

He was near close to tears when he finally arrived on a familiar path, and he was all out sprinting when he saw the bridge atop the hill.

It stood proud and still, as untouched by time as ever.

Jihoon was beginning to think that the others were crazy, that they were wrong and that it was just a bad dream. But as he sprinted across the bridge, feet landing hard on the old wood, he stopped before the stairs leading down into the town and he froze because he finally saw everything.

A huge crater stood where Itormori had stood. Water had collected, making the lakes bigger. Crumpled houses and buildings were all that were left around it, crushed from the impact with only a few still standing that had been the farthest away. The pretty colored buildings had been reduced to chipped paint and overgrown plants and the trees and foliage had overtaken in the past three years.

Jihoon could only stare, barely able to comprehend what he was seeing. Gone was everything that he knew, reduced to rubble and dust. Three years. It had been three years since the meteor had fallen on Itomori. But how could that have been when just mere hours ago he had been standing in this exact spot?

Jihoon stepped backwards, feeling his shoes land on rough rubble rather than nicely stone pathways. No, this couldn’t be. He must be seeing things. It had to be a lie, he just had to look again.

He continued backwards, feeling the bridge break underneath him as he gripped onto the railing for purchase, afraid his legs would fail him. No, if the meteor had hit the town than that meant that Soonyoung…

That Soonyoung…

“Soonyoung!” Jihoon yelled, the name coming back to him like a punch in the gut. “Soonyoung!” He screamed, turning around and sprinting back across the bridge. No, it couldn’t be. He had to find him, he must have gotten away. Because if the town was destroyed than that meant-

Jihoon slammed into something hard just after he turned around. He stumbled backwards, hitting his back against the railing and wincing from the harsh contact.

Someone grabbed his hand, pulling him away to catch his fall and he opened his eyes to look into the wide gaze of Kwon Soonyoung, who was staring at him in a mixture of fond amusement and confusion.

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung asked. He was dressed in his usual casual painting gear, his art supplies spread out on the bridge. He looked like he hand’t left the spot since Jihoon had left.

Jihoon could only gape, taking in the normality that he hadn’t seen moments ago and the person that he had been desperately searching for. He reached out and locked his arms around Soonyoung, holding him as tight as he could because he was afraid if he let go he would disappear again.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon gasped, barely able to control himself. His voice broke and he reigned in his emotions as best as he could. He felt relief break inside of him like a dam that he almost burst into tears then. Soonyoung was okay and he was alive. Everything had just been a bad dream.

“Jihoon, whoa, whoa! It’s okay!” Soonyoung pressed him close to his body, staring down at him with concern. He rubbed comforting circles on his back. “What’s wrong? How did you even get here? I’ve been here since you left this morning.”

Jihoon gasped for breath, the severity and stress from the situation finally hitting him like a freight train. “I-I had a bad dream. I dream that you were-”

For a second the world changed and Soonyoung disappeared. Gone were the art supplies and the town and Soonyoung’s body in his. Jihoon watched as the world aged in seconds and the time that he knew was gone.

“What just happened?” Jihoon spun around. Soonyoung was standing at the edge of the bridge, looking out at the town. He looked like he had just seen his whole world disappear before him. “What happened to the town?”

And then it hit him.

This wasn’t a dream after all.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon said, voice suddenly dead calm. Whatever this moment in time was, he knew what he needed to do. He reached forward and took Soonyoung’s hands, interlocking their fingers together. One last connection he would cherish as long as he could. “I’m going to tell you something, and you need to do what I say.”

“Jihoon, what just happened?” Soonyoung asked, eyes wide and uncomprehending. He kept looking back at the town, like he was waiting for it to disappear again right in front of him.

“Soonyoung, look at me.” Jihoon said and his eyes snapped back to him. “Promise me,” he pleaded.

Soonyoung went quiet, searching his gaze for answers that Jihoon didn’t have. “I promise.”

He inhaled, the words heavy on his tongue. “Tonight a piece of the meteor is going to break off and strike Itomori. You need to evacuate everyone past the bridge.”

Soonyoung gasped. “That makes no sense. Besides, how could you possibly know that-”

“Because I’m from the future.” Everyone seemed to snap into place. The confusion between his friends and family, his leg, the accident from three years ago on a trip he couldn’t remember. Like pieces of a puzzle it was finally coming together. It all made sense. “I don’t know how. Or why. But I do know everything that’s happened has led to this moment.”

“Jihoon, I don’t understand,” he pleaded.

“We don’t have any time,” Jihoon cried, clinging onto his hands so hard, trying to memorize every line in his face and every detail in his eyes. “I don’t know how long this will last, but you need to do as I say. Otherwise people will die, Soonyoung. It’s up to you.”

But Soonyoung just shook his head. “I don’t know if I can. How can I convince them-“

“They love you Soonyoung, and you love them,” Jihoon said, trying to put every ounce of truth he had into his words. “They’ll believe you.”

He let go of Soonyoung’s hand, who immediately went grasping for his, but Jihoon pulled out a marker from his pocket and put it into his fingers. “I almost forgot who you were today,” Jihoon said, closing his hand around the pen and displaying his hand. “I won’t forget again.”

Soonyoung hesitated before uncapping the marker. He traced one of the lines in Jihoon’s palm before writing something, quickly closing his fingers over his palm and handing him back the marker.

“Okay, now your turn.”

Jihoon reached out for his hand, moving his pen onto his skin.

“I won’t forget you either-”

He disappeared.

Jihoon’s breath caught in his throat. One moment he was grasping his hand in his and then the next moment there was nothing but air. He reached out, hoping to come into contact with warm skin but there was nothing but cold emptiness. “Soonyoung?” Jihoon whispered, looking around and trying to spot him. But nothing remained but the current time and the destroyed city beneath him.

“No, please. Soon-” His voice broke. Suddenly he couldn’t remember his name again. He could feel the name at the tip of his tongue but his body refused to answer. He couldn’t see his face anymore, couldn’t see what his eyes looked like or the color of his hair. He was looking for someone. He knew he was, could feel the uncontrollable tug at his heart. But who was it again?

“Please no,” Jihoon whispered. He began walking back across the bridge towards the town. He couldn’t do this alone. He had to remember. “Wait-”

In his haste his foot caught on a dent in the bridge. He felt pain shoot up his left leg and he staggered forward. He hit the stairs hard, tripping down a couple and rolling down until he finally came to a hard stop. His camera went crashing somewhere to the side but he barely even noticed.

Everything hurt and he could feel his head spinning, darkness nipping at the edges of his consciousness and trying to overcome him. He suddenly remembered warmth in his hand and he opened his palm, hoping for anything to remember.

In badly written scrawl was three words.

I love you.


 


One Thousand and Ninety Five.

 

Jihoon glanced at his watch, making sure of the time. He had just finished setting up his exhibit for the third year anniversary of the Itomori incident and he had to make sure that he had time to greet the viewers and attend the ceremony before making his way to Mingyu’s birthday party later that night.

He had been going through his belongings a couple of weeks ago when he had found an old camera that he couldn’t remember owning. It was broken most likely from a nasty fall but Jihoon had been able to save the memory card from it. He had found a bunch of pictures from before the meteor had crashed into Itomori that he couldn’t remember taking, and had donated them to the memorial in order to help raise funds for the families that had been displaced. They had been so pleased they had invited him as a special guest and Jihoon hadn’t been able to say no.

However after looking through them they were some of Jihoon’s favorite photos, though he didn’t know why. They weren’t very good, the camera had been damaged so the picture files weren’t in the greatest condition and he hadn’t been able to edit them before the exhibit. But every time he looked at he photos he couldn’t help but feel nostalgic because of the warm and fuzzy feeling they left in his heart, a fondness for memories he didn’t have.

Displayed in the far corner was one picture Jihoon had been surprised he had taken, for no matter how much he thought he couldn’t remember a single reason why he’d taken it.

It was a picture of a young man with messy black hair sitting underneath a bridge. He had a thin white shirt covering his skin from the sun and trousers rolled up with the hems wet from the river. Fish nibbled at his toes and dragonflies flew around his head. The sun hit just his smile just right so that he appeared to be shining.

It was one of the only portraits Jihoon had ever taken, and he had been hesitant to display it, but every time Jihoon looked at the picture he felt a warmth pass through his body and a fleeting smile brought to his face, and he hoped it would make others feel the same.

He was just making last minute checks when the doors opened and people began to mill in. It was the survivors of the accident that were attending the ceremony, they were allowed a first look at the exhibit before it was opened to the general public.

“Hey bro, don’t you remember this place? We used to eat there all the time! The owner always gave us extra side dishes because she thought you were cute. And that tree right there is where you broke your leg, remember?”

Jihoon looked up, the voice strangely familiar in his ears though he couldn’t place where he had heard it before. First he spotted a young boy, a teenager, with curly brown hair and a playful smile. He was standing next to an older man with a stern face and graying hair, who was clasping a picture of a young women in his hands. Jihoon knew he had never seen them before, but he felt like he should recognize them.

And then he saw the young man behind him. He had dark black hair that was straight and nicely styled, trousers that were still rolled up at the ends but paired with a nice button down and a fancy brand jacket. He still had a sketchbook in hand and a bag of art supplies slung over one shoulder. His skin was pale and smooth with slanted eyes but there was warmth in his smile that made Jihoon feel at home.

The young man’s eyes strayed towards the portrait as if like a magnet and a sense of recognition but confusion sparked in his gaze. He turned to Jihoon who stood unable to look away from the same face that was in the picture behind him.

The man stepped forward, hesitant and unsure. He reached out almost automatically before retracting back in, instead reaching into his bag and pulling out a single piece of paper.

It had been folded countless of times and the page was yellowed from age, but when he opened it and held it out, Jihoon found himself staring into the desperate eyes of a young man. The portrait sketch showed him leaning halfway out of an open window, gripping onto someones hand for dear life. Jihoon could see the uncertainty in his gaze, determination in the set of his mouth. He could almost hear the stuttering in his speech and see the shaking of his pupils that matched the shaking of his hands. He was scared and afraid, and yet so genuinely happy and so very much in love.

It was a picture of him.

The two finally looked at each other, as if knowing they were seeing each other for the first time but recognizing every detail in their face.

“What is your name?”


 


END.

 

— 

Notes:

Hello everyone!

This fic wanted to be written since the first time I ever watched Your Name. I decided to put my own spin on the movie, so I hope you enjoyed it! This was also inspired by the song I’m Looking for You Now in Seventeen’s plot album because this song deserves more love and is the anime opening we all need in our lives.

Congrats to my boys for their third anniversary and thanks to all the carats for supporting my sons!

EDIT: The numbers before the beginning chapters are how many days until the meteor falls and hits the town, the last chapter is how many days since the meteor has fallen. Sorry for the confusion!

Let me know what you thought! Hope you enjoy! :)