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It’s raining. It seems like it’s always raining. It’s spring in London, after all. It was one of the things I liked most about Watford, I remember not-so-fondly. It never rained during the day. Maybe it was a spell, maybe it was just where the school was placed. Some nights Baz would come back from the catacombs with rain in his hair and peel his soggy shirt off before dropping it so it slapped on the floor. I used to think it annoyed me, but in retrospect I was probably just bothered by him shirtless. He still does that now, when he gets home.
Of course, now I get to see him shirtless whenever I want. Well, as often as he’ll let me. So, I’m not annoyed as much anymore. He’s still a proper git, with his broody eyebrows and his sneering lips. But, he kisses me with those lips, and his broodiness is mostly just for show now. Mostly. He’s going to uni with me, and we still have a lot of the same classes, like at Watford. We’re proper boyfriends now, though. We hold hands in public, and kiss at the coffee shop. People invite us places together, as a couple. It’s strange for me, and I suspect it is for him, too.
Fiona even has us over for dinner every so often. Baz has basically stopped sleeping there, but his stuff still mainly resides in her guest room; with the exception of the stuff he keeps in my bathroom, and the drawers I cleared out for him. And the side of the closet he keeps. Yeah, he probably lives here now, actually. She’s never there, anyway. Always off hunting vampires for the Council. Baz doesn’t talk about Fiona’s job, I think he isn’t sure how he feels about it. The one time I asked, he said that it’s weird that his aunt is hunting the creatures he technically belongs with. I was very quick to tell him that that was a load of bollocks. He belongs with me, not some stupid vampires. I got a very good kiss for that one. Penny walked into the living room in the middle and yelled at us, so I know it was even excellent from the outside, too.
Normally Baz and I go to uni together and come home together, but it’s Thursday and Baz has an extra class today. So, I walk home alone in the rain. I have on my raincoat and I’m carrying my red umbrella. Baz bought it for me, and I teased him because it was so bright. He mumbled something about how someone who shone as brightly as me had no need for a black umbrella, so the next day I bought him a purple one. He loves it. He won’t ever say it, of course. But he carries it every day, so clearly, he does. I stop at the grocery to get stuff to make for dinner before heading home.
Our building comes into view through the rain, and the place looms above me. If the sun were out, it would be blocking it, that’s how tall the place is. We’re only on the third floor, so it isn’t so bad to climb with groceries. I feel bad for the people who live on the sixth. You’d think we’d have a lift, but we don’t. It’s too old for that. Baz likes the architecture, he says it reminds him of home. Just to annoy him, I keep calling it Gothic. I know it isn’t. I know it’s Victorian, like Pitch Manor. But it’s funny to see him roll his eyes at me and call me Snow in that tone that gives me goosebumps. Like he’s going to teach me a thing or two later, when we’re alone in the dark. And that it’s not going to have a thing to do with architecture.
I close my umbrella as I step through the outer door and reach for my key. Before I can get my hand in my pocket I realize I’m not alone in the vestibule. She has blonde hair that reaches her waist, she’s lithe and tan and just as stunning as she was at Watford. And she staring at me.
“Agatha!” I exclaim, unable to control my smile. Baz says I smile too much, he compares me to a golden retriever puppy. I’m not mad about it, though. He’s probably right. Besides, if that’s true, he’s a Doberman. I tell him that, too. He rolls his eyes, but I think he likes it anyway. “What are you doing here?” I ask, shaking my head to clear thoughts of Baz.
“Uh, I was supposed to be visiting Penny,” she said, scuffing the toe of her shoe along a crack in the tile. “But I got an earlier flight from New York to Heathrow, and now… Well, I’m afraid she’s not here.”
“No,” I reply. “She’s still in class. But come on up. You can wait with me.” I shuffle all my groceries, trying to reach my pocket while I try to keep my dripping umbrella away from her. She reaches out with a smile and takes the brown bag from me. “Thanks.” She smiles softly at me as I manage to get my keys out. I unlock the door and push it open for her. I can hear Baz’s voice in my head, chuckling in my ear about how I’m always such a gentleman. Once we’re both inside, I trade her the groceries for the umbrella. It’s lighter, and we have three flights of stairs, after all.
I unlock the apartment and throw my keys on the table by the entrance. “You can put that just there,” I say, gesturing to the umbrella stand we keep beneath that same table. She does. “Make yourself comfortable.” I push through the kitchen and put the grocery bag on the counter before unpacking them. “So, how long are you visiting from California?” I call, striking up the conversation.
“A few weeks. It’s summer break back home, and my parents want to see me. I’m just… not so keen to see them.” Her phrasing is strange, and I realize that she’s sounding more American. Is she intentionally losing her accent? “Penny invited me to visit, and I thought that was a good compromise. Mom and Dad are coming here, instead. And we got hotel rooms over at the Savoy. We aren’t checking in until later, though.” Yup, definitely losing her accent. She just used the American Mom. I come out of the kitchen and she’s sitting on the couch, staring around the room.
I take a moment to give it a look like I haven’t been living here for over a year. The furniture is soft and relaxed, there are pictures on the walls of architecture (for Baz), photos that Penny has taken of the places around where Micah lives (for her), and posters from old movies (for me). We have a decent sized television, with my gaming systems lined up neatly underneath them. There are throw blankets everywhere; both Baz and Penny get cold at night. There is an empty tea mug on the table from this morning, and I pick that up to return it to the kitchen.
“Tea?” I ask. Agatha turns and blinks at me like she had forgotten I was there. “Water?”
“Coffee?” she asks, and I’m struck again with her strange accent. “Black?”
“Sure,” I reply, taking the cup with me as I return to the kitchen. I’ve got the kettle on and the percolator is popping when I hear a key in the lock. A moment later, the door turns and I hear a set of keys clank beside mine on the table. Then, silence. My brow furrows and I reach over to push the swinging door open between the kitchen and the living room.
I poke my head out and find Baz standing, frozen, in the doorway. He’s staring at Agatha, who is staring right back at him. Her eyes are wide and her face is pale under her tan. “Wellbelove,” Baz drawls out, blinking at her. “What are you doing here?” Neither of them have noticed me, yet.
“Me?” Agatha hisses. “What the hell are you doing here?” She took a step forward before hesitating and taking a step back. “Don’t your kind have to be invited?” I feel myself rankle at her insinuation and I move to intercept the conversation.
Her accusation spurs him into action and he gives her that smirk I love so much. “Well, I live here, so…” My heart hammers at the phrasing, I never knew he felt that way about my apartment. I feel a surge of pride. He turns to look at me, as though he knew I was there the whole time. Maybe he did, I wouldn’t put it past him. “Hey, love,” he says, closing the door behind him.
“Hey, handsome,” I reply with my usual greeting. “How was class?”
“Well enough,” he says, smiling at me as he comes over to drop a kiss on my cheek. Agatha is gaping and it has just occurred me to that she has no idea that Baz and I have been dating for a year and a half now. “Are you making tea?”
“I am,” I say, leaning in to the kiss. “Earl Grey?”
“Yes, please. I’m going to go change. My shoes are soaked.”
“Don’t want to catch a cold,” I joke. We’re not completely sure Baz can get sick, he never has before. Even when I’ve been steps from death’s door, like when I had the flu in January. He grins at me as he pulls away to head down the hall. As he does, he peels off his shirt and lets it trail behind him, leaving me to appreciate the white marble of his back as he disappears. I fight the urge to lick my lips as Agatha is gaping at me like my wings have come back. As soon as Baz closes the door to our bedroom I turn and go back into the kitchen. Agatha follows me.
“What the hell was that, Simon?” she hisses, the door not even closing all the way before she’s in the space with me. “Did you just… Are you and Baz… Are you gay?”
I reach for one kettle, pouring black coffee into one of the two mugs on the counter. I hand it to her; she takes it and immediately sets it down on the other counter. She places her hands on her hips and glares at me. I grab another mug from the cabinet and pour two mugs of hot water before dropping a tea bag of Baz’s favorite tea into one and my English Breakfast into another. I sigh. I had assumed Penny had told her, but why would she? It wasn’t her business, and Agatha likely hadn’t asked directly.
“Yes,” I reply, finally. I cross to the fridge and take out the cream before I chance a look at her. She’s staring at me with huge blue eyes, her jaw is slack and she’s so pale I’m convinced she’s dead. She looks more a vampire than Baz does at this point. “Baz and I have been dating since before…” I trail off. Before I killed the Mage. “Since the Christmas before I left Watford.” I pour cream into both of our teas before spooning in a copious amount of sugar.
“And… And… And…” She doesn’t seem to be able to formulate whole sentences. She’s stammering, and stuttering. Then she starts to turn pink, which quickly progresses to red. Her ears look like they might catch fire. “But, we dated!”
The swinging door opened and Baz strode in wearing his dark purple jumper and those black jeans I love so much. It would figure he would be cold, he’s always cold when we aren’t in bed. He says I’m a furnace, but I suspect it’s just an excuse to put his hands on me. “A misjudgment on his part,” Baz retorts, clearly having heard her admonishment. “But, I can overlook it.” I smirk at him, or attempt to. I’ve never been much good at it. Baz says it makes me look like a lunatic. But he says that about a lot of things I do. It’s usually followed by a kiss, but right now he just picks up his tea. “What brings you here, Wellbelove?” he asks. I notice that he’s careful to stand close to me, his arm brushes my shoulder. He’s cool through his jumper.
“Summer break,” she says, with a wave of her hand. “You two hate each other.” She points between us, waggling her finger like she’s a teacher telling off an ill-behaved student. “You always have.”
“Foreplay,” Baz retorts and even I feel a blush starting on my neck. He cuts his eyes to me and smirks, his typical devil-may-care one that sends my heart racing.
Agatha shudders, like, actually shudders. I see it happen and my ire rises. I try to stamp it down. Getting mad isn’t going to help anyone. “Ok,” I say, lifting my tea from the counter. “We’re in awfully close quarters, and this is clearly a shock for Agatha. Let’s go back out to the living room and talk.”
“No,” Agatha says. “You can’t be dating. You. Hate. Him.”
I’m not sure who she’s speaking to, but I’m the one that answers. “Actually, no,” I say slowly, carefully. I want to make sure she hears every word. “I love him, Agatha. I suspect I have for a while now. Years, probably. My obsession with him for all that time was something bigger, deeper. And he loves me. He would die for me. He almost did. A couple of times.”
I hear the door open again, and more keys hit the table. Penny is home, finally. Even as I hear it, Baz snakes his arm around my waist. I feel his chill through his jumper and I know he can feel my warmth. We’re a good balance, the two of us. We always have been, even when we thought we hated each other.
“Simon?” Penny calls, and I can tell she’s headed down the hall to my room.
“In here, Pen,” I call back, holding Agatha’s gaze as she struggles to understand what I’m saying. The door swings open on our tiny kitchen and she stops in her tracks. It’s crowded in here. We’re three people in a space barely built for two, and there’s a tension in the air that’s palpable. “You have a visitor,” I add, and it’s probably the smoothest I’ve ever been in my life. Beside me, Baz snorts and I know he’s impressed with the cool tone and demeanor I’ve put out there. Hell, I’m impressed.
“Uh, Agatha,” Penny begins, looking between where Baz has his arm around me and Agatha is glaring angrily. “Maybe we should go in my room and chat?”
But Agatha seems to be at the end of her rope. She spins on Penny. “How could you have known about this and not told me? They live with you!” her voice is angry, and I catch the undercurrent of hurt there, too. I feel my heart stutter. “You should have told me! Before I just…”
I turn to Baz, and I see that glimmer of emotion in his eyes. His face is still an unfeeling mask, but I know the difference now. “Hey,” I whisper. “Why don’t you go queue something up on Netflix in our room? I’ll be there in a minute.” He nods, giving me a squeeze before tucking himself around Penny and disappearing from the kitchen. I wait a beat before I speak again. “Listen, Agatha, this wasn’t a secret. I promise.” Her gaze snaps to me and I see the sadness under the anger. “We didn’t intentionally keep it from anyone. We just haven’t… I don’t know, announced it? The people we see every day,” I gesture to Penny. “Know. Obviously. Baz’s aunt Fiona knows. Our friends at uni. Our barista at our coffee shop. The cashier who rings us out. We aren’t living in secret. We just aren’t calling up random people and telling them.”
“I’m not a random person, Simon,” Agatha explodes, and I know Baz can hear her in our room.
I reel back just as Penny reaches out to take over. But I hold out my hand. My therapist keeps telling me that I need to trust myself, that I can’t let other people fight for me anymore. I need to find my strength. Now is as good a time as any, I suppose. “You’re right,” I reply, my voice soft. I’m careful not to put any inflection in my tone. I don’t have magic anymore, but I know that words still have power. Even if you’re a Normal. “You’re not just a random person. You were one of my best friends. And then, you bailed on me. You left for California, and you never called me or wrote me. If you had, maybe I could have told you that I was happy. That I had found the man of my dreams. But you didn’t. You didn’t want anything to do with me. So, give me a good reason I should have told you.”
She is staring at me. I can see it all in her face. She’s always been so easy to read. I guess I should have noticed that before, but I was trying so damn hard not to think while I was at Watford. Trying not to think about anything at all. She’s still staring at me, and I find myself unwilling to do that anymore. I want to think. I want to think about the future, about what comes next. And most of all, I want to think about Baz down the hall in our room, waiting for me to come cuddle with him. “Now, I’m sorry you found out this way. But that’s not at all my fault. It’s not Penny’s either. I’m sure if you had asked, she would have told you, too. So, this is only on you. Now, I’m going to see what my boyfriend is up to. Maybe I’ll see you later,” I say, stepping around them. I push the door open and over my shoulder I add, “Maybe I won’t.”
In our room, Baz is lounged on the bed. His feet are kicked up and he’s wearing thick grey socks. My thick grey socks. He’s got a show we’re binging pulled up, but he hasn’t started it. I close the door and crawl onto the bed beside him. Instead of laying down though, I sit up on my knees and push his dark hair away from his grey eyes. I bend down and press a gentle kiss to his lips and he kisses me back, his thin fingers slipping around my arm to hold me to him for a moment longer. “You ok?” He asks as I pull away a centimeter. I can still feel his breath on me. I nod. “Do you want to watch, or do you just want to lay here?”
I adjust so that I can lay beside him and I feel his arm wrap around underneath my back. I roll up on my side to look at him. “Can we just lay here for a minute?” I ask. He nods. I close my eyes, my head pillowed on his shoulder. I’ve never been so happy as I am when I’m with him, alone in our room, with nothing to distract us.
His voice breaks the quiet, and even though it’s a whisper it seems too loud as his words sink into me. “Do you still love her?” he asks, and I hear the ache there.
My eyes snap open and I stare at him. His grey eyes are focused on me, like he was watching for my reaction. I’m not sure what it looks like I’m thinking, but I’m a little more than a bit disgusted. “Agatha?” I ask, my voice soft so that it doesn’t carry. He nods. “What? No. Of course not. I don’t think I ever did.”
“You were so upset when she broke up with you,” Baz whispers. “You must have loved her.”
I roll my eyes as realization hits me. I really am daft, sometimes. He’s not just saying that. I can be a real idiot. I reach up with my left hand and rub my thumb along his razor-sharp jaw. He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, really. “Well, yeah. Back when I thought she was breaking up with me to be with you,” I snorted. “Back when I thought it was her I was afraid of losing, but it was really you.” Baz’s eyes soften to liquid silver and I smile. I know that look. I only see it every once in a while, only when Baz lets down all his walls. “I love you, you bloody nightmare.”
“I love you, you ray of fucking sunshine.” Then his lips are on mine and my hands are in his hair.
And just like that, it doesn't matter how Agatha found out. Because as far as I'm concerned, no one matters but Baz.