Chapter Text
Namjoon is dreaming. He’s floating, there’s nothing around him, only darkness…and for the span of who knows how long, he’s left wondering what’s happening. Why he’s here. And why he knows with absolute certainty that this is a dream.
Has been a while since he last felt so…awake but still not there. It’s confusing.
He doesn’t feel pain. Or fear. Just a kind of…careful curiosity.
The darkness is gentle, cradling him in her grasp and keeping him afloat for he doesn’t know how long.
It’s long enough that he wonders if he still exists.
Suddenly, the darkness draws back, light appears.
Light in the form of people – or their silhouettes which are glowing in a faint, but light blue. He counts…asking himself who those people are.
He counts nine.
Namjoon feels himself frowning, tilting his head as he hears a bubbling laugh – it sounds familiar to him.
Isn’t that…his mother?
The people are standing close together, like they would at some kind of social gathering, light chattering fills the darkness around Namjoon and he wants to be with them.
Wants to talk with them too.
He tries to get closer to them, trying to recognize their voices because he can’t see their faces. There are friends from his highschool, people he used to talk with on a daily basis, there are his parents, his sister Kyungmin, Jackson, Taeyong, Suho – people he knows, loves, cares for.
Why are they all…why is he dreaming of all of them?
Feeling his feet move on their own, he finally gets closer, but he still can’t make out what exactly his mother is saying to Taeyong.
Why is she even talking to him…?
Namjoon’s thoughts come to a stop as bright blue, almost white light blinds his vision momentarily, making him blink.
Where…
His frown deepens as he feels a chill spreading over his whole body and as he stops, looking down on his chest, he sees the source of the bright light – it’s himself.
Dazzling blue light surrounds his arms, his legs, his body, wavering like blue flickering flames.
Namjoon is stunned, turning his glowing hand up and down, admiring the flaming light licking over his skin.
He’s dazed, doesn’t think about what this could mean.
It’s his dream after all…and normally, when he knows this clearly that it’s a dream, he’s able to influence it in some kind of way.
So…no bad should happen to him.
Right?
He suddenly remembers the figures he has seen before the light appeared on his body – he remembers his will to get to them, to join them in their conversation.
Because…he somehow misses talking to his family. It couldn’t have been that long ago that Kyungmin talked to him on the phone…still, he misses them.
But as he looks ahead again, starts walking again, trying to go faster – he freezes after a few steps.
He still sees the figures surrounded by blue glowing light – but they’re standing still now. Frozen in place.
What the…What does that mean?
There’s also no sound any more. All the chattering has stopped and the silence sounds deafening in his ears.
As he gets closer, he can finally see their faces. Still, it irritates him to no ends that he’s feeling like he’s standing in a garden of statues as he walks between them, his frown deepening.
He stops as he recognizes the face of his mother, swallowing as he looks into her unmoving face, devoid of any emotion.
It’s nearly impossible to shake off the unsettling feeling that starts to spread inside of him and his hands are shaking, the flickering light illuminating her features as he cups her cheeks carefully, trying to read anything in her eyes, trying to get an emotion, anything.
“Mum…? Mum, can you hear me?” His voice is quiet, echoing and disappearing into the void as nobody answers, sending another chill down his back.
His mum’s eyes are shining, glistening – but they only reflect the too bright light coming from Namjoon’s own figure. They don’t see him, don’t recognize him.
He swallows again, letting her go as dread settles like a heavy weight in his stomach.
What on earth is happening here…?
Turning around, he walks on unsteady feet towards the next person. He walks until he reaches Jackson, shaking hands once again reaching up and cupping his friend’s cheeks, looking him in the eyes, trying to see any emotion inside of them.
“Jackson? What…what is this…why are you not answering??”
But, once again, there’s nothing.
Only his own bright and glistening light, burning in white-blue flickering flames – as soon as he lets Jackson go, taking a few steps back again, it dims, leaving his friend with the same emotionless expression like his mother.
Namjoon turns around again, his breathing quickening as the dread gets heavier and his hands now quiver like leaves in the wind.
Something tells him that it will be the same for everyone of the other figures. He doesn’t have to try to get any emotions out of them…they aren’t able to hear him.
The blue light which surrounded them at the beginning, still slightly there when Namjoon was walking around, now dims down – getting weaker and weaker until it’s gone completely.
Leaving him alone.
Now he’s the only source of light in this all surrounding darkness…and it doesn’t matter that it felt safe and good a while before.
Now it feels like it’s trying to suffocate him.
He’s startled when a voice begins to speak, low and distorted.
“You need to save them. You need to save them. They depend on you.”
With a gasp, Namjoon snapped awake, his breathing heavy like he just ran a full marathon.
For a few minutes, he allowed himself to just lay in his bed, not moving an inch and trying to calm down his racing heart.
He didn’t even understand why this dream was leaving him in such a state…it wasn’t even a bad nightmare?
Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Namjoon sat up slowly, burying his face in his hands.
Yes, it wasn’t a bad nightmare.
Yes, it was still quite unsettling to see the emotionless expression on the faces of his friends, no one of them reacting to what he said.
Seeing his mum like this was probably the scariest.
He quietly sighed, laying back down again once his heart finally calmed down to a reasonable beat.
Would he still have a chance to catch a bit of sleep?
What time was it anyway?
Casting a look towards the other bed in the room where Jungkook had curled himself into a lump under his blanket, he reached out for his phone, squinting at the brightness as he turns it on.
4:48 am.
A bit over thirty minutes were left until his alarm would go off…not enough time to try and fall asleep again.
Sighing again, Namjoon decided to start his day a little bit earlier.
He just had to be quiet so the other members still had the opportunity to sleep as long as they were able to.
Getting up, he quietly felt his way around the room to search for a few clothes and headed towards the bathroom.
He already knew they had a busy day ahead of them…so he just hoped that this strange feeling in his stomach would leave him after a few hours.
No such luck.
They were six hours deep into their schedule now, heading for a short lunch after three interviews and a photoshoot, possibilities of rest only given during their car rides from one location to another.
But even with the six other members napping around him in the car, he wasn’t able to fall asleep.
His eyes drifted away from the view outside of the window as a weight settled on his right shoulder and a small smile spread on his face at Jimin’s sleeping figure, slouched against Namjoon’s side.
Softly carding his fingers through the younger’s bright blond hair, he quickly looked around the van, spotting Taehyung leaning against the window on Jimin’s other side; Jungkook, Hoseok and Yoongi in the middle row, leaning against each other while they napped and Jin in the front row, next to Manager Sejin who was driving.
All of them were fast asleep and Namjoon was glad his members were getting rest…they sure needed it.
A voice in his mind reminded him that he needed it too.
But he ignored it because…he simply just couldn’t. He felt the need to watch out for them, to make sure everyone was alright.
Sighing, he looked outside again, wondering when they would finally reach their destination.
He was hungry, his stomach could probably wake up the whole van once it started grumbling – but there was still this…this uneasy feeling. He couldn’t quite place it.
And he was sure he wasn’t able to eat a single bite while feeling like this.
The figure next to him stirred suddenly, brown eyes blinking sleepily before they landed on Namjoon. “Are we there yet, hyung?” Jimin’s voice was raspy of sleep and he yawned quietly before stretching a bit.
It reminded him of a kitten stretching after a good nap.
Fighting a smile over that thought, he answered in a whisper. “No, we’re still driving. Go back to sleep, I’ll wake you once we’ve arrived.”
A soft smile spread over Jimin’s lips, narrowing his eyes into crescent slits and he cuddled a bit more into Namjoon’s side, making the leader chuckle softly. “Everything alright?”
“Sure”, the dancer answered, the smile obvious in his voice. “You’re just so warm.”
Which made the elder frown a little bit. “You’re cold?”
Jimin made a protesting sound, hands coming up and grasping Namjoon’s arm to use as a cuddle pillow. “Nh, you’re just warm ‘n that’s comfy.”
Yawning again, he settled finally, falling asleep again.
The elder scoffed a bit, shaking his head with a fond expression in his face and looking out of the window again.
That’s when he realized something.
Whatever was sitting so heavy in his stomach all morning…talking to Jimin had lessened it a bit. Into something he didn’t need to think about all the time.
He sighed, slowly massaging his belly with his free hand.
Probably it only was nervousness…and stress. It surely would get better after lunch.